During the week following my first experience with "Steve" I had great difficulty in concentrating on anything, other than the mental pictures of his dick which floated around inside my mind. I was unable to study, uninterested in tv or movies, really wasn't on my game on the tennis court. Basically I was uncomfortably horny all the time, remembering the images of Steve's hard dick. I jacked off quite a bit, but it still didn't calm down my mind. I always had this one image of his dick when it was really hard, and he was making it twitch and jump. That image would always appear to me when I was jacking off and I was about to come.
The following weekend was very strange. On Saturday I was working in the garage. My sister was at school and my dad was reading in his study. When I picked up a screwdriver and held it in my hand, the handle suddenly felt cool and odd and I had a strange sensation all at once. I quietly went back into the house, went to the bathroom, and got a jar of Vaseline. Then I returned to the garage. The big door was shut, but the side door was opened, and anyone could have walked in. I stood behind some shelving units.
I pulled my jeans and boxers down around my ankles. I dipped the handle of the screwdriver down into the Vaseline and twisted it around. Then I took the screwdriver and started trying to jam it into my butthole, handle first. It hurt and it wouldn't go in. My hands were trembling and my heart was pumping, I was so nervous. I took a big gob of Vaseline in my shaky fingers and rubbed it roughly all over my butthole. Next I just jammed the screwdriver handle in there. Dude it hurt like hell, but once it was in I practically started crying because it felt so fucking good. I twisted it around a bit, and then I jacked off with the thing in my butt. I had never before had such an intense orgasm.
That night I had a date with my girlfriend, who I will call Andrea. Over the course of the previous couple of weeks two of my friends told me that Andrea had been cheating on me by seeing another guy behind my back. The guy, I knew. He was a Mexican kid. Ugly, with horrible acne. He got awful grades, was into drugs, and the only thing going for him was he was really into cars. Anyway I don't want to bore you with all this. Basically I didn't believe it, and I never gave it a second thought.
Having been so horny for so long I just really wanted to have sex. I knew she was interested and basically willing, and I just really, really wanted to be naked with another real, live person, and just see what it was like.
Because I am posting this to a gay listserve, because I think I might be gay, I won't go into any of the details, except to say that I basically lost my virginity that weekend, and that I enjoyed it immensely. I'll just mention one thing -- which I didn't really pay attention to at the time: when we were getting ready to do the nasty I didn't have any condoms, but she did. She said she had gotten a pack so that she could have sex with me when we got ready. But the pack was already opened. I didn't really pay attention at the time because I was so fucking hard and horny, but later it occurred to me that there were condoms missing from the pack.
Unfortunately this is all that I have time to write at the moment. I will post another page shortly, because more things have unfolded still, and I am even more confused than I was before.