My Boy Jon
Chapter 2:
That night I had a very realistic dream. It shocked me how vivid it was. It started with me and Jon sitting in the gym during assembly. I sat there crammed next to Jon between all of our friends and we were all laughing at some ridiculous announcement our principal was making. It was about the upcoming dance. He was saying something along the lines of, "Please, no freaking, because as much fun as it is for you to get caught, it's even more fun losing the deal and having to go break it up."
Our principal was really cool. Mr. Finny was something like 35 years old. Not old at all. And that's why all the kids thought he was so cool. Now Jon was sitting there laughing, our knees touching because of the crowd smashing us together, and he draped his arm over my shoulder. With his arms up and his armpits free I could easily take in the smell of him. His deodorant smelled like old spice with a hint of ocean. I loved the way he smelled. He also smelled like chlorine.
As I sat there, with him draped all over me, I started "growing" down below and Jon seemed to notice. His touch, his smell, his laugh, were all starting to get me aroused, and I wasn't exactly sure what to do. He looked down at my hardening cock and then back to my eyes. There was a faint smile forming on his face. I wasn't sure what that meant. But when I tried to adjust my hard-on, he grabbed my hand. By this time I realized we were now alone in the gym. No one else was there, and all the lights were dimmed. With one armed draped over my shoulder and the other firmly holding the arm that was on my cock, Jon started to lean into my face. I lifted my lips up and closed my eyes, but Jon went for my ears. He started saying something, but I couldn't quite make it out. It sounded something like "I love you", but I knew it couldn't be that. Then, he went back to the front of my face and gently brushed his lips against mine. And that's when it happened. I woke up.
"Shit!" I whispered. I lifted my blanket up and looked down. The wet spot was clearly visible on my pajama bottoms. It was the early morning. I looked at the clock, and it was 6:30. It was just about time before I needed to get up for school.
"Well, that's one for the fantasy jar," I thought to myself as I headed for the bathroom. I turned on the shower and dropped my pajamas and boxers to the ground. While I was waiting for the water to heat up, I began to check myself out in the mirror. I was unimpressed with what I saw. Now, it's not like I have body issues and think I'm fat, it's just that the runner's build I've got doesn't do anything for me. Now Jon is a completely different story. Jon has the best body of anyone in our class. To me, Jon is the most attractive guy I've ever seen. He's not super muscle-y like all those idiot football players, but he's got the least amount of body fat on him I've ever seen. It's his stupid swim team diet. I call it stupid, but I know that it's one of the things that makes him so god damn attractive. He has a six-pack, obviously, and super-defined Pecs. They're so strong and hard. I could rub my hands all over his chest all day every day. His back and shoulders are perfectly defined and every time I hug him I just feel up his back. Ok, I know it's weird, but it works for me.
I looked down, and noticed I was hard, again. Jon just does that to me. I chuckled and stepped into the shower. I started playing with my cock. I was a little on the smaller side, about 6 inches when fully hard. When I was younger, I used to try and stretch it out by pulling on it when it wasn't hard. After seeing how that didn't work, I gave up. As I started to lather myself up with soap, I couldn't help but wish these were Jon's hands. My hands started to roam all over my body, starting with my arms. There was some definition there. I guess starting to work out with Jon after school was paying off. From there I moved to my chest. I had a lot of chest hair for a 16 year old. I guess that came from starting puberty so young. My Pecs were pretty much nonexistent, and so I followed my dark happy trail down to my stomach. Believe it or not, I was still carrying a lot of baby fat around my midsection. That's why I always did my sit ups before bed. I was trying to slim down there a little. As I stood back under the spray of piping hot water, I finally made my way down to my cock. I was still super hard from my daydream about Jon. I grabbed the conditioner for lube and started rubbing it up and down my shaft. It felt really good. I leaned my back against the wall and spread my legs a little. I pointed my cock straight out like I always did and started stroking furiously. With my left hand, I spread a little conditioner on my fingers and gently began circling my hole. As my pace started to pick up, I gently slid the first of my fingers into my butt, imagining it was Jon's hand. I slipped two more fingers in and started moaning. I started shooting, and since I already came once this morning, my shots were flying far. They almost hit the other side of the shower. Now that I was done, I turned off the water and grabbed my towel.
After drying off, and wrapping a towel around my waist, I made my way across the hall to my room. I looked at the clock, and it was about 6:50, and I still had 10 minutes before I really had to start getting ready. I threw open my closet and looked inside. I sighed, and thought, "Damn, I really need some new things." I guess it's nice that we're so close to summer vacation. Soon, I'll be able to wear tanks and bathing suits and flip-flops all day. Unless it's raining or cloudy out.
"Brent, 20 minute warning!" Matt yelled from downstairs. Okay, time for me to get going. He was my ride to school because we didn't have a bus.
I decided on wear a pair of khaki shorts with a green tee. I thought it went with my eyes well so I wore it a lot. Unfortunately, it was starting to fade, but I guess I could always buy a new shirt. I pulled up my shorts and put my belt on, and put my shirt on. I threw on some deodorant and headed downstairs to the kitchen.
"Anything in particular you want for breakfast big man?" Matt asked.
"Nah, just my usual bagel and cream cheese." That's what I always had for breakfast. It's kinda gross but I really like cream cheese, and a bagel's like the only normal place to put it. "How about for lunch? Want me to pack some leftovers?" Jessie asked.
"Sure. That'd be awesome."
After eating my bagel, I ran back upstairs to brush my teeth and grab my backpack. With a last look in the mirror, I headed back downstairs for the final time before leaving for the day. Jessie was sitting on the counter drinking from her "special tea mug" with a weird expression on her face. I wasn't really sure what to say, because she looked lost in thought. I hope it didn't involve me.
"Okay Brent, let's go."
I sighed. I just am not really enjoying school right now. I have all my classes with Jon. I get to sit next to him because we have free seating. So I get to sit there and have Jon tap me all day and look at me all cute like and try to make me laugh. It's freakin adorable but it also hurts. A lot. I watch him look all loveable and hunky as he tries to look like an idiot for me, and all I can think about is how his lips curl when he's suppressing a giggle, how his beautiful blue eyes sparkle when he laughs, and how he blushed when our teachers tell him to shut up. It takes all my energy to not lean over and kiss him every time he taps my shoulder. I really love this boy.
"So, watcha thinkin' about today, Brent?"
"Nothing. Just stressing over finals."
"Liar," Matt said, trying to lighten the mood.
"Seriously Matt, I'm not thinking about anything."
"Is it Jon again?"
"No." Yes.
"Brent, I know you. I know how you feel about him. It's obvious how you feel about him. But don't you think you should at least look for other potential boyfriends? It doesn't seem like Jon is going to be coming around and knocking on your door anytime soon."
"Wow Matt. You really know how to cheer a guy up. Not."
"Brent, I'm sorry, but it's true, and you know it."
"Well you don't have to point it out," I said, kinda angrily. It pisses me off because he's right. Jon knows I'm gay. I came out to him freshman year and he was ok with it. It's just he's straight. I think. He acts like he's the gayest guy in the world, yet jokes ever time I make advances on him. It's really confusing, and I hate it.
"Brent, you're gonna have to let him go. What about that Markus guy? He seems to be attracted to you."
He was right. Marcus has been lusting over me pretty much all year. He's the biggest flamer I've ever seen, and one of my friends made the mistake of letting him know I'm gay and single. To be honest, Lizzie was just trying to be a good friend, but she picked the most obnoxious and unappealing guy at the school. His overly gay actions make him the laughing-stock of the upper classman. I'm pretty sure he's been canned a few times. Poor kid. But honestly, he brings it on himself. AND he hits on the straight football players. How stupid can you GET?
"Marcus isÉ frustrating." I left it at that.
"I think he's cute."
"Is there something I need to tell Jessie?" I asked, completely jokingly.
"Ha Ha, VERY funny. Maybe I'll invite him over and you guys can cuddle on the couch and watch movies."
"Do that and I'm gone!" I said, laughing pretty hard even after the sad start to our morning. And by this point Matt had gotten to school. Here we go again.
"Okay, okay, point taken bud. I'll see you after school."
"Actually, I'm gonna be working out with Jon and then heading to Lizzie's to study. Lizzie's mom will give me a ride home."
"Okay, call me or Jess if plans change."
"Will do. See ya tonight."
"Have a good day bud."
"You too. Bye."
I grabbed my bag out of the trunk and started making my way up the front steps to the school. As I was making my way to the front door, I heard him come up behind me. He grabbed my shoulders and started whispering in my ear.
"Sup poof."
God dammit. Today is Tuesday. That mean's the asshole is back in school.
"What do you want, Chris?"
"Oh you know, just wanted to say hi to my favorite little queer."
"Well hi then." I shrugged off his hands and started to walk away, because I really didn't want to be around him. Last time he tried to "talk" to me, it involved him holding me against the bathroom stall door trying to get me to suck his dick. It was creepy.
"What, you don't want to say hi? You don't want some of this?" He was grabbing his crotch.
I was looking around and noticed none of the other students were paying attention.
"Dude! What do you want from me?" I asked, starting to get a little flustered. I wasn't sure how to deal with this situation
"I want to take you home, throw you down on my bed, and shove my big cock down your throat."
"Chris, you know I can't do that."
"So you say, but I know you want me."
It was true. Chris was smart and insanely buff from his football team. But he was creepy. And he was still in denial. He is the biggest closet case I have ever met. If he weren't so aggressive, then maybe he'd have a shot.
"Chris, when you can tell your football friends you're gay, then maybe we can do some stuff."
He shoved me against the wall and leaned in closely to my face and said, "Listen fag. I'm not gay. You are. I'm just not getting enough from my girlfriend." "Whatever Chris." I began walking through the door when he hit me from behind. "Don't walk away from me faggot!" He screamed. My I was seeing spots. This is the same thing that happened last time. I stumbled forward but he tripped me. By now a crowd was gathering around us. And then out of nowhere, Jon appeared.
Miserable. That's the only word there is to describe it. My head hurts, I've been crying so my eyes are sore, and I'm alone. After everything that's happened, I never imagined it would get worse. It just seems like I am the person to whom everything bad happens.
I'm sitting up in a tree, overlooking the lake, about 3 miles from school. After Chris knocked me down and started to beat me, Jon came flying out of nowhere. Jon tackled Chris to the ground and they started wrestling. But Chris was stronger than Jon, and easily overpowered him. Once Chris had Jon pinned to the floor, he started hitting him. Jon was getting hit so hard and there was blood everywhere. Chris was showing no mercy. That's when I got up and ran. I just left. I couldn't do it, couldn't sit there and watch. And I'm so pathetically weak and stupid that I left Jon for dead as Chris beat the shit out of him and the other students watched. I felt so helpless, so I did what I always do. I ran away.
As I sit up here in this tree, I absentmindedly wiped the tears from my eyes as I stared at the calm water. Jon didn't deserve this. It wasn't his place to step up and defend me. Why did he do it? He could have just told Chris to stop, or gotten a teacher, but he put himself in the line of fire, for me. All I am is a worthless piece of shit. Why would he do this to himself? It's all my fault. I got my Jon hurt.
I'm sitting here, at the top of a tree, contemplating whether or not I should just jump. No one's ever going to find me if I stay out here. If I die, the coyotes will just come and pick me to pieces and no one will ever find the body. Everyone will just assume I ran away, and slowly give up hope for me. Because I have nothing left for me back at home. Jon, if he's even still alive, will come to hate me. Chris will probably be expelled. Jessie and Matt won't know how to deal with me. So none of the people that matter in my life will want anything to do with me. As I said before, I'm miserable.
I looked down at my watch to check the time. It's about 12:30. That means I've been gone for a little over 3 hours. That means Jon could have been dead for that long. I just don't know what to do. Every time I close my eyes to wipe away my silent tears I see Jon getting pounded in the face by that brute. It's utterly sickening. To know that I caused that much pain and destruction to befall the boy I love, it just makes me want to die.
By now, Chris has probably told everyone I started the fight and that he was just defending himself when Jon attacked him. I doubt anyone will believe him, but with Jon dead and me missing, who's going to challenge him? Everything's so hopeless, and I just don't know what to do. I decided then and there that I was just gonna do it. I was gonna kill myself. I climbed down out of the tree and started making my way over to the edge of the waterfall. The waterfall was about half way around the lake, an easy 40 minute walk for someone who wasn't crying their eyes sore. After about an hour and a half I finally made it to my final destination. I took a look around. Everything was beautiful. The pine trees were perfect, and their smell was amazing. The water was a pristine blue. The sky was overcast: my favorite kind of weather. I was wearing my favorite green shirt. I was ready to do this. I knew deep down that it was time for me to leave.
As a final act, I picked my phone out of my pocket and turned it on. I had turned it off when I started running because I knew Jessie or Matt or Jon would try to call. I wanted nothing to do with them. As I waited for it to boot up, I decided what I was going to tell Jon. I guess I should tell him how much I love him, and how perfect he is, with his perfect body and perfect attitude and his perfect everything! Just thinking about how unbelievably perfect he is made me start crying again. I slowly dialed his number. It started to ring, and kept ringing, and just when I assumed it was time to leave a message, he picked up.
"Brent! Brent, is that you buddy? Where are you? Are you ok? Are you hurt? Where are you, Brent? Talk to me!"
"Jon, I'm so sorry!" I sobbed, crying harder than ever because I knew this was going to be the last time I heard his voice.
"Shhh Brent, it's okay. Just calm down. Where are you buddy?"
"Jon, I called to say goodbye." I started to cry a little harder.
"Brent, what do you mean? Where are you? Just try and calm down buddy! Everything's going to be okay. Just tell me where you are, okay buddy?"
"Jon, I love you. I love you so much and I know you don't love me in the way I love you but I needed to tell you that before I left. I love you Jon. You are perfect in every sense of the word and I am so sorry that I got you hurt today. It's all my fault, Jon! All my fault!" By this point I was really crying, hard.
"Brent, buddy, just calm down and listen! Listen to me buddy! I need you to tell me where you are, okay? Are you at home? Are you at the lake?"
"Jon, just stop trying. After this call ends, I'm gonna jump and never bother you again, okay? Just know that I love you!"
"Brent, please! Just wait a second! You don't need to do this! It's going to be okay buddy! I just need you to tell me where you are!"
"Goodbye, Jon. I love you!"
"Brent! Brent! Stop!! Don't hang up! Brent!"
And those were the last words I heard before I set my phone down and jumped off the edge of the cliff.