My Awakening

MY AWAKENING CHAPTER 2 (t/t HS true)

Here it is everyone, Chapter 2! Sorry about the delay, it has been one hell of a month. I hope you enjoy reading this one! Oh and THANK YOU for all the great comments! I received tonnes of e-mails from readers! I am still trying to reply to them all, so if you sent an e-mail and I have not gotten back to you, please forgive me. I will reply it just takes a while to get through all those e-mails!

Disclamier - If you are under the age of 18 you should not be reading this. If you are offended by homosexual literature then I suggest that you leave. If you are neither, please sit back and enjoy reading this.

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I sat through the rest of science trying to keep my mind on the droning voice of Mr. Karmicheal, but it always slipped back to thoughts of Justin. How was I going to get this kid to forgive me for completely ignoring him yesterday? Not to mention the fact that I just finishing staring at him like a complete dork not even fifteen minutes ago. He probably thought I was a complete asshole. My mind raced, furiously trying to come up with something. But all I could come up with was walking over to him and planting a big kiss on those lips of his. I rolled my eyes and chuckled softly to myself, but I regretted it instantly.

"Well, Mr. Printon, I hope your science project well be as humorous to us as it obviously is to you."

I looked up to see Mr. Karmicheal glaring down at me; I guess I had laughed a little louder than I'd thought. I didn't say a thing, just went red in the face again. Damn it, I thought, this was even worse than usual. I was sure that Justin could see my ears turn bright red, which was even more humiliating since he was in the class.

"Can I continue now?" Carmichael asked sarcastically. "Or do you have more thoughts of fancy to laugh about?"

"N-n-no sir," I stammered. "You can continue." I let that rattle softly out of my chest with the little breath I could muster. Now, I prayed, please just leave me alone.

"Thank you, Mr. Printon." His gaze left me and he continued on. "Now, each of you will pick your partner for this project." A few hissed yeses left the lips of my classmates.

"But that can change very quickly if I think that you and your partner are not using your time constructively!" My classmates' minds were wandering, so I don't think they heard the last part. "Remember, this project is due in two weeks, and you'll only get twenty minutes a day to work on it. That means most of this project will have to be done on your own time."

He sat down at his desk, all the eyes in the class where on him. "Now, you have thirty minutes to decide who will be your partner and what your project will be." Then he opened his book and began to read.

The classroom was a fury of activity as people ran to each other paring up. I just turned to Kerri; she was always my partner for these kinds of things.

"Hey, Ker. So, are we partners?" I asked casually. I knew she'd say yes; this was just a courtesy on my part.

She looked up at me, one eyebrow raised slightly. "Not this time, bud. I think I'm gonna go with Tanya."

My jaw hit the floor. She always, always went with me! What the hell was this?

"Why?" I must've sounded like a five year-old who was upset because they weren't getting their way.

"Because, you doofus," her devilish grin appeared, "I always go with you."

"So why does it have to change now?" I was puzzled.

She smiled and cocked her head to our left. "Well, mainly because the new kid over there hasn't had one offer yet from anyone, and I think you owe it to him to ask, since you have treated him like shit so far." She started laughing at me. "That's your punishment!" She covered her mouth as she continued giggling at me.

Punishment --! Ha! That'd be sheer heaven if we were partners. I rolled my eyes. "Fine, fine... oh, great master of all." I drew myself closer to her face, dropped my voice down to Darth Vader level and scowled. "But mark my words -- you shall pay for this later."

She giggled and pushed me away, and I started laughing along with her. After a moment, I glanced across the room and began getting really nervous. What was I gonna say to this guy? I didn't want to look like a bigger idiot than I'd already been.

Kerri, still laughing, got up and walked over to Tanya's table and sat down. Okay, I thought. All alone now, time to face Justin. I stood up and took a deep breath. Turning around, I saw the new kid looking down at his table -- all alone, obviously hurt. Kerri was right: no one had probably even offered yet. He must've felt so alone. I bit the bullet and tried to swallow my nervousness, then walked over.

I fought the impulse to just keep walking and find someone else to partner up with, but I somehow managed to walked around him and casually slide into the seat beside him. His head snapped up at me in surprise and one of his strawberry-blonde locks fell in front of those intense blue eyes.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, loud enough I am sure that people in China heard. He took his hand and pushed the lock of hair out of his eyes.

"Hi," I said, a little too enthusiastically.

"Hi." He looked a little nervous; hell, I'd be if I were in his position.

I struggled to find the words. "Hey man, I'm... umm, sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to brush you off or anything, I was just, y'know, havin' a really bad day."

"That's okay," now I little bit of the nervousness left his voice, "your girlfriend explained that to me after class."

"Huh? What did you say?" I was dumbfounded.

Those piercing blue eyes retreated back to the desk, but not before I saw a terrified expression flash on his face. "Umm -- yeah, she, uhhh...she sorta talked to me after class." He didn't looked up from the desk, and seemed terrified, like I was going to punch him or something. "I wasn't... I mean, I didn't hit on her or nothing. If that's what she told you."

I started laughing. He looked back up at me with confusion plastered on his face. "Kerri's -- she's not..." I dissolved into laughter, trying to stop myself from becoming completely hysterical. "We're not..." I made a vague gesture. "You know. Together." Though I could see where people would get that misconception.

"Oh... so she's not your girlfriend?" He was staring at me while I laughed.

I stopped laughing, feeling a little awkward now. "Nah. She's just a really good friend, y'know? I don't have a girlfriend, man."

"Oh." He turned away in embarrassment, but not before I caught a glimpse of a faint smile on his face. I suddenly felt the butterflies returning. "Sorry `bout that, then."

"No prob," I stuck my hand out, "My name's Kyle."

He looked hesitant for a second, but then clasped his hand in mine and we shook. His silky touch almost made me pass out.

"I'm Jared," he said quietly.

We held hands for a brief moment, but I withdrew my hand quickly so he wouldn't get the wrong idea. Or the right idea, I thought.

Reality snapped back for a second. "Jared?" I asked, confused. "I thought it was Justin. You sure?"

He laughed. It was the sweetest thing to invade my ears, and I felt totally mesmerized by the sound. "Uuhh... dude, I think I know my own name."

I looked up and saw his blue eyes had changed -- no longer hurt-filled and defensive. Now, they were calmer and happier, though maybe with a little confusion. It didn't matter, though. I made this kid happy. First step in the right direction, and it made my heart pound.

I grinned. "Ohhh...yeah. I guess you sorta would, huh?" Okay, now I felt extremely self-conscious again. I broke eye contact with him and looked down at the desk, just as he did moments earlier. I knew my face was going red, but why, goddammit? I am such a loser.

"What made you think it was Justin?" His voice was like the siren's call; they pulled my eyes back into his. He had this half-grin on his face and his eyes -- oh god, his eyes! It was as if they were peering into my soul... I could feel it. I was completely lost in them. My head felt light, almost dizzy. That feeling filled my chest, as if a terrible weight was pressing down on it, and butterflies fluttered in my stomach. My breathing quickened, and I could swear the room temperature jumped up at least 10 degrees. In an instant, I was aware of a growing warmth spreading to my groin.

"Uhh, Kyle?" he asked.

My mind snapped back into the world. All those sensations tore themselves away and replaced themselves with more red-faced embarrassment.

Jared was staring at me, a little frown crinkled on his forehead, "Are you like... okay?" He looked a little lost for words, "You totally blanked out there."

Shit, shit, shit! I was just STARING at him. For how long was I, though? I must've looked like a complete idiot -- no, make that a total gay idiot! I quickly racked my brain for an excuse.

"I...I... w-was," I stammered. I needed to calm down or I was going to blow it. "I mean -- Kerri...yeah." I knew my face was completely red, and was babbling incoherently on top of it as well.

Now the smile was gone from his face. The look he was giving me now was one you'd give a complete freak. "Uhh, Kyle -- are you okay?"

I took a deep breath and sat there for a moment thinking of what I was going to say. I wasn't gonna look like a complete fool again. "Yeah, man -- I guess I was a little embaressed. I felt like a complete dork asking you about your name." I forced a smile on my face, and tried to keep it there. "It's the story of my life. I always seem to kinda start out on the wrong foot, I guess."

That did it; the smile came back to his face.

"No worries, man."

I let out a sigh of relief in my mind when those words left his lips. Good -- now we could get back to the task at hand and hopefully forget that this ever happened.

"So, uh... why'd you think my name was Justin?"

A twang of irritation snapped in my chest. This guy was one of those who couldn't just drop something. "Kerri," I explained. "She said your name was Justin."

He looked a little puzzled. "I never told her that, though. I told her it was Jared."

I just rolled my eyes. "Yeah, well, that's Kerri for you. She's smart. but she's sorta absent-minded." I chuckled at that; thinking of Kerri gave me a little more confidence.

Jared didn't laugh with me; he just looked at me smiling. Those feelings were welling up inside me once again. My eyes quickly darted away from his; I didn't want a repeat of what happened just moments ago. I needed to get my mind thinking straight, I thought. Focus on the science project.

"So, looks like we both need a partner for this dumb project," I said, looking at him expectantly. "You busy doin' anything?"

A full-fledged smile formed on his face. "Nope. Nothing at all."

"Cool." I pulled my chair closer to him as we opened our books and started thinking about what we would do for a science project. We were supposed to make a chemical reaction that we could display to the class, then explain what caused it. We couldn't blow anything up or start fires; I think the teacher just wanted us to change the color of a solution or dissolve some salt in water. Not a very interesting science class, but it was only grade 10; the complicated stuff would come later. After a few minutes, we lost track of the science experiment and just started to talk.

"So, ah, Jared," I asked, "howcum you transferred here so late in the year?" That glowing face of his suddenly disappeared, looking now at the table again, and I instantly regretted my question.

He was silent for a moment, and looked away. "Well, umm... I just moved across town to live with my aunt. My parents and I sorta had a big disagreement, and they..." He stopped, then cleared his throat and stared at me. "They kicked me out."

Shit, I thought. Boy, do I know how to ask the right questions -- time to change the subject.

"Well, I think you'll like it here," I said hurriedly. "It's not a bad place. I mean, it's got its ups and downs. But so does every other school." I put a smile on my face trying to cheer him up. It worked a little; he didn't look up, but at least he had a half-smile.

Suddenly the bell rang, and the class erupted into a fury of motion. I grabbed my own books and turned to leave. A hand grasped my forearm and stopped me from going any further. Looking down, I saw Jared's slender fingers grasped around my arm; I turned and looked at him.

His eyes were still downcast. "Thanks, man," he said quietly. "For bein' my partner for the project and all that."

His grasp didn't loosen and I felt my face going flush and the skin up my arm was tingling. "Hey, like I said, no prob." I smiled down at him when he looked up at me through those strawberry-blonde bangs. Finally, he smiled back at me, his grip loosened, and his hand slid from my arm. His fingers slid down my forearm and across my wrist before it broke contact with me. I tried not to moan aloud.

We both started for the door at the same time. "Say, what class do you have next?" I asked. C'mon God, I begged. Make it English 2 with Ms. Hope.

"Drama."

"Oh, shit." Damn. There goes seeing him for the next eighty minutes. I forced my voice to stay casual. "Well, anyways -- look around for me at lunch, `kay?" Please say yes!

Now he lifted his head and looked right at me. "That'd be great, Kyle." He was smiling once again, and that was enough to visibly weaken my legs. I felt like I was Superman being overcome by kryptonite.

"Cool -- I'll see ya then," I called over my shoulder as I hit the hallway. I just wanted to be with him; everything inside wanted me to run after him, but I kept going in the opposite direction. I felt as if I was in a daze; before I knew it, I was in my seat in my English class, still thinking about Jared.

Kerri's curiosity was making her fidget as she sat down beside me. She was such a gossip queen sometimes.

"So," she said, impatiently tapping her pencil on the table. "How'd it go with Justin?"

I gave her a really stupid look. "Well, first off, you `tard, his name is not Justin! It's Jared." I shook my head at her and sighed.

"Whoops! My bad, then." She stopped tapping her pencil. "I was sure he said Justin, but was talking pretty softly."

I leaned closer and lowered my voice. "Well, next time, get your facts straight, you numbskull! I felt like a total dork when I called him Justin." I started shaking my head again as she started to giggle.

"What? Lost your Mr. Cool act after that, huh?"

I playfully punched her shoulder. "Yep, all thanks to you, `ya beeotch'!" I started laughing alongside her just as the final bell rang.

We quieted ourselves quickly as Ms. Hope entered the room. I sighed, wondering how I was gonna make it through the next eighty minutes. As the teacher began droning on, I found myself daydreaming about Jared. It was as if a whole new chapter of my life had opened up. I'd never really thought about other boys before yesterday, except for Dustin. Now that my feelings for him had changed, I guess I was using Justin to fill that void. All I could think of was me and Jared with our arms wrapped around each other. I imagined him kissing me with his sweet lips as he unbuckled my jeans... my hands traveling sensually up his shirt, rubbing his smooth chest. He pushes me down on the floor and finishes pulling my pants off. Sitting, I remove his pants and toss them away. He lies down on top of me and begins to grind into me, our straining teenage erections rubbing against each other through the fabric of our shorts. I reach down and tug his boxers down...

Suddenly, a loud bang pulled my mind from its fantasy. I looked back and saw Les sprawled on the floor. The class erupted in laughter as he helped himself up from the floor. His face was beet red with embarrassment, as he picked up his chair and sat back down.

Mr. Hope has a kind smile on her face as she chuckles softly to herself. "Are you alright, Leslie?" The echoes of laughter began to die out.

"Yeah. I'm fine, Ma'am." I could hear the embarrassment in his voice.

"Well, I hope this taught you not to lean back in your chair."

"Yes, Ma'am."

The class laughed even louder as Les' face deepened four more shades of red. Ms. Hope hushed the class and continued on with the lesson. Moments later the bell rang and we all ran out of the class. Kerri and I parted ways at our lockers once again -- me to the lunchroom and her with Jason.

As I arrived in the cafeteria, I glanced around the overcrowded hall, desperately looking for any sign of Jared. After a few sweeps with my eyes I noticed Dustin waving me over. I sighed. Where was Jared? I really wanted to see him at lunch, but he was nowhere to be found. I was a little hurt that he wasn't here, but at least I still had Dustin to make my day. I walked over to where he was and took a seat across from him.

"Hey, how's it goin', Dusty?" I was smiling again.

"Aaahhh," he dismissively waved his hand. "Same-o, same-o. You?"

"Well, in Chemistry, I'm partnered up with this new kid, Jared, for that retarded project Karmichael assigned us." I tried desperately to not sound too excited about it. "He's an okay guy." I opened my lunch bag and took out my sandwich.

Dustin's brow furrowed. "A new kid? This late in the year? Isn't that a little weird?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "That's what I was thinkin', too. When I asked him about it, though, it seemed to be one of those drop-it-and-leave-it-alone-type deals."

"Gotta be tough. Comin' to a new school at the beginning of the year is tough enough. But at the end? That's gotta be fuckin' murder." He shook his head.

I vividly recalled when Dustin first came to this school; he'd been a complete wreck.

"Yeah I know," I absentmindedly took a bite of my sandwich. "He's seems pretty wacked about it."

Dustin started looking around the room, scanning the crowds of people. "So, where's he at, then?"

"I dunno." I started peering around the room, imitating Dustin. "We've got different classes for second period, so I don't have a clue were he'd be."

Dustin snorted. I looked up and was surprised to see he was shaking his head. "You didn't even invite him to eat with us, did you asshole?"

I was a little offended by that one. "Of course I did, asshole! I was even looking for him when I walked in! Jesus -- what kinda prick do you take me for?"

Dustin started laughing. "Well, a little one -- that's for sure." He lifted his hand and pinched his thumb and forefinger so they were about two inches apart. The table erupted in laughter. I shook my head stifling my own laughter. Dustin, of course, had his head thrown back and was laughing quite loudly; he always did think he was the funniest person alive.

I grabbed the apple in my lunch bag and threw it at him, gently of course. It grazed off his right shoulder and rolled along the floor, disappearing into the crowd. He didn't stop laughing, though.

The rest of lunch went by slowly as I was constantly hoping that Jared would show up. Occasionally, I'd look around the room, wondering if he was sitting with someone else, or hoping that he'd just walked in. I was very self-conscious in doing so, though. I didn't want the guys thinking that I was desperately hoping that he'd show up. Eventually, though, the bell did ring and we all scuttled to our lockers.

"Kyle, man," Dustin began as we were walking out. "You gonna come over after school or what?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Sure, man -- I got nothin' planned." Well, at least, I could forget about Jared after school. Dustin would keep my mind occupied. I was feeling a little rejected at the moment, and I didn't want to think about it.

"OK -- meet you after school, then." He wagged his eyebrows at me and we went our separate ways.

I sat in math, still troubled by why Jared didn't show up for lunch. I began cursing myself. I must've scared him off with that dumb lovestruck stare that I'd given him. That must've been it, I thought. Christ, I was so transparent, I wouldn't be surprised if everyone knew I was gay. I mean... come on, every time my hormones surged, I acted like a complete homo! Jared must have a good idea of what I am, or at least had his suspicions. I mean, I was the only person to talk to him; normal people always shun the new kids for the first few weeks. To make things easier on myself, I should've just shook his hand and said, `Hi! I'm Kyle, and I'm gay!" That way, he could've just rejected me right off, and I wouldn't have to go through all this mental and emotional torture.

I felt like crying. I think I was beginning to give up on ever finding someone. I sat there through the rest of math, just wallowing in my own self-pity.

Finally, the end of the day arrived. I was happy that I was gonna hang out with Dustin for the rest of the evening. At least he could cheer me up as usual. I gathered my books from my locker and stood there for a few moments talking to Kerri. After a few minutes, I was wondering where Dustin was; he usually came and grabbed me at my locker. I waited a few more minutes, then finally I told Kerri goodbye and went looking for him. Wandering around the empty halls, I was beginning to worry. Dustin was always there when he said he'd be. I quickened my pace; my worry was quickly turning into panic. When I turned the next corner I saw Ronald walking down the corridor away from me.

"Ron, man!" I cried out at him, hoping he'd know where Dustin was.

Ron turned around quickly, "Oh, Kyle! I was looking for you."

"Have you seen Dusty anywhere?" I slipped my backpack to the ground. "I've been lookin' all over for him."

He started laughing. "Yeah, man -- that's why I was looking for ya. Dustin told me to tell you he's sorry, `cause he's stuck in detention."

"What? What the hell did he do this time?" Damn it! I was hoping I could go over.

Ron shook his head. "The stupid dork poured chocolate sauce in Christen Durgel's hair during food studies class."

I didn't find it all that funny at the moment. I wanted to go over to his house so he could cheer me up, goddammit. "What a shithead."

"Yeah. He said he's sorry and that he'll call you tonight." Ron absent-mindedly scratched his chest. "But I better be goin'. See ya later, man."

"Yeah. See ya, Ron." I turned and started back down the hallway.

Looking at the clock it was already 4:15. I sighed and decided just to go home. I'd wasted an hour for nothing. I made my way to the back doors of the school and stepped outside, then walked through the parking lot. I stopped when I heard voices. Glancing out of the corner of my eye, I saw the backs of the three biggest assholes in the school -- Mark, Greg, and Lance, the Three Stooges of the junior class, who made everyone's life a living hell. >From the sound of it, they were getting ready to kick the shit out of some young punk. I had my run-in with them a few years back, but they never really bothered me much anymore.

I continued to walk by, but the guilt was burning its way through my chest. I wanted to do something, but I couldn't. There was nothing I could do besides get the crap kicked out of me for interfering with their daily entertainment. Even worse, that'd do absolutely nothing for the person being tormented, since they'd just continue with him after I was ground into a bloody pulp. I just hope the kid knew to shut up and take it, then after a few days, the trio of assholes would find someone else to pick on. You know, school really sucks!

I continued to walk by listening to their cruel harassment, wanting to do something, but couldn't.

"So what ya gonna do, pretty boy -- cry? Huh?" Greg started laughing. It was a cold cruel laugh.

"Yeah, but I think the new kid here needs a little motivation first." Mark punched his fist into his other open hand.

My ears perked up. New boy, I thought. Who the hell were they picking on? Not Jared -- oh, please god, stop this if it's him!

I stopped dead in my tracks, even though all my common sense said just to keep on walking. He'd make it through like everyone else had. It'd be a couple days of complete humiliation and pain, but he'd survive. I could pretend like I never saw anything -- just keep walking and go home. He couldn't see me because I couldn't see him, so he'd never know that I walked away.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. I cursed myself for being such a coward. I couldn't let this sweet boy get plastered by these goons. So my heart turned my body and forced me to walk towards them. A little voice in my head was laughing at me; I knew I was gonna regret this later.

As I got closer, sure enough, I saw Jared. He was looking down at the ground, completely humiliated. I felt a pang of sorrow and pity for him, but something else filled my chest. It was anger. I wasn't the type of person to get angry -- upset and crying, yes -- but rarely angry. I felt my breathing getting heavier and adrenaline surged through my body. My fists clenched until the knuckles turned white and I felt my body temperature rising. All I wanted to do now was hurt these three as much as they were hurting Jared, if not more.

Greg turned his head and looked over his shoulder at me. He tapped Lance on the shoulder and pointed in my direction. Lance turned around to face me with a scowl etched across his face.

"What the fuck are you doin' here, midget?" His two buddies smirked at that one.

"Whatever the fuck I want to, asshole." I didn't have a clue where I even found the courage to say that. One part of my mind was petrified with fear; the other pushed me to say more.

He stared at me with a look of disbelief on his face. "You had better fuckin' apologize for that, you little shit, or I'm gonna pound you into fuckin' dog food."

Hell, I knew that as soon as I walked over here, I was probably gonna go home in pieces, so there was no turning back now.

I stared at him, putting as much anger as I could in my eyes. "Go ahead and try, asshole, but you better fuckin' leave him alone!" I pointed at Jared, who was staring at me with disbelief. "Or else I'll kick your fuckin' stupid ass clear across the parking lot."

A strange combination of anger and disbelief flickered on Lance's face. "What did you say?"

I grinned. "What, Lance? Don't tell me you're retarded and deaf? Well, that's one totally fucked-up combination, isn't it?" My heart hammered in my chest, and I now knew the small chance of getting out of this unscathed had just disappeared.

He walked towards me, his buddies following right behind him. He stopped an inch from me, his chest almost touching mine. Lance looked down at me and gave me a look that could melt ice. "YOU -- ARE -- SO -- FUCKIN' -- DEAD!" he screamed, poking me at the chest with every syllable.

My ears rang from the intensity of his yelling. I never stopped looking up into those eyes, even now as I realized I was gonna get it worse than anyone else ever had. I don't think anyone had ever stood up to him before, and he didn't like it one bit.

I knew Jared was looking over at me, but I didn't break my stare with Lance. I don't know how I had made it this far, but somehow I gathered the strength and courage to let out one last comeback -- even though I knew it'd be the last one.

"BRING IT ON, FUCK-FACE!" I cried.

Lance's left fist came flying toward my face. I ducked under it quickly and brought my clenched fist up into his side. It was like hitting a bag of rocks; he hardly even flinched. His face was a mask of pure anger. I had never heard of anyone ever hitting this guy before.

He swung again, but I was shorter (one positive thing I guess) and faster. I leaned back and he missed, and this time I aimed for his face. Success! I nailed him right in the nose. A little blood seeped its way from his nostrils and he screamed out in anger and pain, reeling from my blow. He touched his face and looked at the blood on his hand.

Uh-oh, I thought.

Almost in slow motion, before I could even react, his fist collided with my face. I felt a sharp pain in my lip and tasted blood on my tongue. My head swam in pain, and suddenly I couldn't move at all.

The next blow hit me in the face underneath the eye. It must have glanced of my nose because I felt an ocean of blood burst its way out of my nostrils. Lance then rammed his fist into my gut. The air pushed its way out of my lungs as I felt my insides collide with each other. I fell to my knees; the pain was too much, and everything was going gray. But he didn't stop. He brought his knee up and slammed it into my ribs. If I had any air left in my lungs, I would've been screaming by now. I could only let out a gurgled rasp as blood spat out of my mouth from my broken lip. I fell forward onto my hands as tears poured out of my eyes. The pain was too much; I was sure everything he had hit was broken. I just sat there on the asphalt, waiting for the finishing blow to end my suffering.

It never came though. I couldn't even look up at him. Any movement, and I was sure that I'd fall to pieces. It seemed like an eternity passed before I heard him speak. He leaned down to my ear.

"You ever, ever fuckin' try that again, midget, and next time I'll make sure you never walk again."

If I lived, I thought, I don't think that I ever would.

"And you," he bellowed, his voice echoing. Somewhere in the haze of my pain I remembered that Jared was still there. "You are just as dead tomorrow."

I heard footsteps walking away. At least they were gone; I could now die in peace. I tried to sit up, but my arms were too weak, and I fell back limply to the ground. I couldn't focus and the world around me was gray. I dimly heard footsteps rush up beside me. A hand touched my back, and somewhere in all the grayness I heard a voice.

"Omigod! Are you okay?"

I couldn't answer. I just lay there for a few more moments, desperately willing the pain to evaporate from my head. I finally began to breath semi-normally, and my eyes began to focus. "Here -- lemme help you up."

I felt a pair of hands gently wrap themselves under my arms. They helped me lift myself back onto my feet. I started teetering back and forth trying to maintain my balance, and a hand snaked its way across my back to steady me. Looking, I saw Jared holding me up. His eyes were filled with tears, and his face was a mask of sadness and pain.

"Let's get you inside to the nurse, Kyle." His words were soft, but panic raced its way into his throat.

"No," I croaked. I knew if Lance got in trouble for this, it just meant that I'd get it worse later, off school grounds.

"Please, Kyle," he begged. "We've gotta get you in." The pleading in his voice didn't change my mind in the least.

"No," I said raspily. It hurt to talk. "Just... just take me home."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." I just wanted to go home and lay down, but I don't think I would've made it very far by myself.

With his arm still holding me up, we walked out of the parking lot and towards home. It was a slow walk, as my legs kept threatening to give out on me. I guided Jared to my house with an occasional pointing of my finger or a raspy `this way'. We finally made it to my block, but by that time I was feeling a lot better. It still hurt like a sonuvabitch, but I was more or less normal. I opened the door and stepped in without Jared's help.

I was surprised when he walked right in behind me, not even asking if it was okay. I knew I was hurt and all, but I just met this guy today, really. I felt a little strange about him coming into my house. I stopped and looked at him, but just shrugged it off. It didn't really matter all that much, anyways.

I told him to take off his shoes and led him up to my room. I all of a sudden got really nervous. He was in my room! My total infatuation with Jared came running back through my mind. I looked over at him and stared, watching as his eyes wandered all around my room, taking it all in. Instantly, I was plunged back into my daydream, with him and I passionately rolling around on the floor. I must have gone red-faced again, because he was looking at me again.

"Is anything wrong?" His voice was a mixture of concern and confusion.

I had to think quickly.

"Uhhh, yeah -- I just didn't expect you to come up here." Well, that was the truth anyways.

He looked at me puzzled. "Why?"

I motioned to the heaps of dirty clothing and the overall messiness of my room. "Cause it's sort of a mess."

He chuckles, "Yeah, but it's in better shape than mine."

I smiled at that, he was attempting to make me comfortable. I looked down at my shirt, which was covered with patches of blood. I was sure my face didn't look any better.

"Man, I need to go clean up," I made a motion to my face. "I'll be right back -- just make yourself at home."

He just nodded to me as I walked out of my room and to the bathroom. I forced myself to raise my eyes off of the floor and look into the mirror. I could hardly recognize the face in the mirror; I looked like total shit. There was dry blood caked all around my mouth. It had leaked from my nose and lip soaking the top of my shirt. There was a bruise forming on my cheek, and it was already beginning to change color. I gingerly poked it with my index finger and immediately regretted it; my face was gonna be sore as shit for a few days, no doubt.

I took my shirt off and saw the redness spreading across the one side of my ribcage. He had slammed his knee into me pretty hard, but I don't think anything was broken. I spent a couple of minutes washing my face in the sink. When I finished, I felt a hundred times better then I did a few moments earlier.

I walked back into my room and threw my shirt into one of the numerous mountains of clothing strewn across the room. Jared looked at me, his eyes wandered down my chest, no doubt looking at my battle wounds.

"I'll be okay man," I said, as his eyes snapped back up to mine. "It'll hurt for awhile, but nothing's broken. Well, maybe just my pride."

I started to laugh but stopped quickly, a sharp pain stabbed me in the ribs.

"Oh, man -- are you sure you're OK?" He rushed over to me and looked at me intently.

I looked down and sighed. I couldn't look Jared in the eyes. Besides the fact that I went totally mushy when he did, I also felt completely and utterly humiliated about losing the fight.

"Yeah. It just hurts a lot, y'know? But only when I laugh or breathe."

"Oh, man," he said in a small voice. "I... I am so sorry." He turned away, and I realized he was crying. His shoulders shook as he continued to sob.

I reached out with my hand and laid it on his shoulder.

"It's all right, Jared," I said reassuringly. "It's not a big deal. It was just a fight. I'll be back to my normal dorky self in a few days." I hoped that what I said would calm him down; I was confused on why he was the one crying.

"No... it's... It's not that." he choked the words out between sobs. "I mean -- it is, but... it isn't."

I pulled on his shoulder forcing his body to turn and face me. His beautiful face was red from crying as tears poured down his face.

"Well, tell me what's the matter then." I couldn't think of anything that could be bothering him this much. I felt his sorrow, though. It weighed down my soul and I felt my own tears coming to my eyes.

"I... I... it's just..." He gestured helplessly. He couldn't continue, the sobs raced from his throat.

I threw my arms around him and pulled him into a friendly hug. He didn't return it though; he just rested his forehead on my shoulder and continued to weep. I felt somewhat self-conscious at that moment, I didn't know the first thing about Jared, and here we were with my arms wrapped around his slender frame, and him crying into my shoulder. I just shrugged off that feeling, since he needed someone right now.

After a few moments his cries slowed and he began to win the battle against his own tears. He pulled away suddenly, as if he just realized where he was. He just looked down at the floor, and ran the back of his hand under his nose.

"I'm sorry." His voice came out only as a cracked whisper. He still quivered slightly from his emotional outburst, then he took a deep breath.

"Man, don't worry about it." I reached down and picked up a semi-clean T-shirt. "You can stop apologizing. You didn't do anything wrong." I slipped the shirt on as I walked over to the bed and sat down.

"Yeah I did," he said quietly, and began to slowly walk towards my door, his eyes still afraid to look at me. "You must think I'm a fuckin' pussy, now." I could hear a tone of anger penetrate his broken voice, giving it new strength.

I was taken aback. "What? Why the hell would I think that?" I wanted desperately to try to keep him from leaving.

His hand reached for the doorknob. "I'd better go."

I don't know what came over me. Maybe some of the adrenaline from the fight still lingered in me, or perhaps it was anger at his lack in trust with me, even if we had just met. He was the one in pain, and maybe I should've been respectful of the way he was feeling. But for some reason though, I got angry.

"So what then, huh?" My voice had taken on a sharp and icy edge. "I go out of my fuckin' way to help you, and in the process get the living shit kicked out of me. And this is how you repay me!" I shook with fury as the words forced themselves out. "I risked a lot today to fuckin' help you, but that doesn't matter, huh? I guess trying to help other people out doesn't mean shit-all in this fuckin' world."

I instantly regretted those words as soon as I realized I had said them. What did I just do? I heard a sob from him as he began to turn the handle on the door. I quickly jumped off the bed and ran to the door, slamming it shut as he was opening it. He turned around quickly to face me and backed away, a mixture of sadness and terror fixed upon his face. I felt the guilt of what I had just done as I looked at the torn face of his.

"Jared, dude... I'm so sorry," I said that in a voice just slightly above a whisper. "I don't know what came over me just then." I didn't see a change in his facial expression. "I never get angry like that." I walked back over to the bed, not facing him as the guilt and humiliation of what I'd just done started to push me to tears. "You can go if you want, and like I said -- I'm sorry. Really."

I flopped down on the bed and lay on my side facing the wall away from him. I held back the tears, though; I think I'd done enough crying in the last two days to last the rest of my life. I just felt horrible, though. I mean, here was this new kid, torn away from everything he knew, just trying to make friends, and what do I do? Fuck. I was such an asshole sometime.

I heard the door being opened and Jared let out a sigh. Then the door shut. He was gone.

I just lay there, not moving one inch from where I was, just staring blankly at the wall. I still couldn't believe what I'd done today. I wasn't the type of person to get angry -- I mean, sure... I got pissed off sometimes, but never that angry. I never had hit anyone before today. I was always the one to back down and turn away. It didn't help my reputation as a teenager very much, but that was who I was. My mother had said to me once that `I was a lover, not a fighter.' Pretty corny, but I think she was right.

But then just moments ago, I was yelling at Jared, just because he wanted to leave! The old me would've just said, `sure man, no prob,' gave him my phone number in case he wanted to talk about it, and walked him to the door. What was wrong with me all of a sudden? Why was I acting the way I was? Was it my damn hormones? Mood swings and shit were all-too-common with my friends. Was that it?

Suddenly, a dark thought came floating through my mind. I felt my breath catch in my throat as the thought took form. Was I turning into my father?

My breath let go and forced itself out of my throat in the form of a sob, and yet again the tears sprung forth from my eyes. I lifted my hands to my face and buried it in them. I started choking out sobs, and lay there, beginning to ponder the significance of what I'd just realized.

"Kyle, man," a voice spoke out from behind me.

I jumped right up from where I was laying and fell against the wall, slamming my head into it at the same time. I felt all my grief suddenly disappear and replace itself with terror. There was someone in my room!

I grabbed the nearest thing to defend myself, which was a shoe that was on the end of my bed, and turned to face the voice. Standing there was Jared, with a look of complete surprise on his face.

"You asshole!" I said, as I tossed the shoe on the floor. "You scared the livin' shit outta me!"

"Man, I'm sorry, I... didn't mean to," he said..

"It's okay." I slumped back down from standing on my bed. "I'm not pissed. You just kinda surprised me, that's all."

He took a few tentative steps towards me. "Oh... I thought you knew I was still here."

"No," I said. "I thought you left. I heard the door open and close." I rubbed the back of my head, which was now beginning to hurt.

"Sorry. I sorta felt... well...um -- bad about wanting to walk out after all the stuff you did for me today." He looked like a helpless child standing there with his arms at his sides just looking at the floor. I knew Jared was trying to be more open with me, but I assumed he found it hard to talk to someone he had just met.

"I understand," I said, as I tried to massage the waves of pain from the back of my skull. "But you really gotta stop apologizing, man. Like I said, you didn't do anything wrong." I must've really grimaced, because when Jared looked up at me, he had a shocked look on his face.

"Oh...man. Shit, I am so sorry! Did I do that when I scared you?" Tears made another appearance on his face. "Oh, god I'm such an idiot... I'm really sorry..."

God, I wished he would stop crying, because now I felt myself tearing up just to follow his lead. I wondered though: did Dusty get tired of my crying, too, just as I was now getting tired of Jared's non-stop bawling? That thought haunted me for a second, but I forced out of my mind to deal with the situation in front of me.

"C'mon, Jared -- calm down," I said, putting my best smile on. "It's okay. Trust me, it's the least of my injuries today." I forced a small laugh out.

It helped a little because he chuckled somewhat between his sobs. He looked up at me, and I felt a pang when I noticed his beautiful blue eyes were surrounded by an ocean of tears.

"Come on over here and sit down," I said, patting the bed beside me. "Since you're staying, you might as well be comfortable."

He looked at the bed but was noticeably hesitant.

"Look, man," I said exasperatedly. "You're weirdin' me out just standing there." I patted the bed again. "Just sit! I swear, I'm not gonna bite you or anything."

It must've calmed him down a bit, because he walked over, a little shaky, and sat down beside me, then hugged his knees to his chest.

"Feeling better now?" I uncrossed my legs and let them dangle off the side of the bed.

"Yeah, I think so." His voice was almost back to normal, the way it was when I first talked to him this morning.

I was determined to get to the bottom of this poor kid's problem, but I didn't know how to small-talk my way into it now. So I just asked directly.

"So what's eating you?" I leaned back on my elbows and looked in his direction.

He looked back from the corner of his eyes, "Well, first off, here I am in a stranger's room, bawling my fuckin' eyes out like some big baby."

Well, at least the strength in his voice had returned. But I knew that he was on the verge of tears again.

"So what wrong with that?" I shrugged my shoulders. "We all cry -- hell, I cry more than anyone else around here. Just ask my friend Dusty. I guess I'm kind of an emotional guy, y'know?" I figured I could make him more comfortable by being more open with him myself.

He sniffled once and buried his head into his knees. "Yeah." I wasn't sure he was saying `yes' to the fact that everyone cried, or if was a question on to my latter statement. So I decided to elaborate.

"Yeah," I continued, as I began nervously kicking my feet together. "Every time something goes wrong in my life, or I feel down for some reason, I just kinda break down and cry, no matter where or who I'm with." I shook my head and managed a grin. "Kinda stupid, huh?"

Jared head flopped up. "You're just saying that to make me feel less of a loser."

"No man, it's true!" I insisted. My mind was racing. Why was I about to tell this guy about my more embarrassing moments in life? Because dammit, he needed someone to talk to, that's why. So I picked one of the many degrading stories out of my head.

"Alright," I said, taking a deep breath. "Last year, I found out I'd flunked one of my big math tests. I wasn't totally crying or anything, but when I went to lunch, I was so upset, I knocked my drink over. It spilled all over the table and everyone else sitting there. Then I dunno what happened... I just totally lost it. I freaked out, started crying, and ran out of the lunch hall." I knew my face was red from telling him that.

Jared now was looking right at me intently, seemingly concentrating on every word I said. I continued on.

"For weeks after that, it was a total fucking nightmare," I said, shaking my head with the memory. "I couldn't even walk down the hall without getting called stupid names or just getting harassed by everyone else at school. One asshole even called me `Tiny Tears,' which really pissed me off." I finished my story and sat there in silence waiting for a response.

I wasn't looking at Jared anymore. My eyes were staring intently at my knees, and I immediately regretted admitting what a dork I was. A few moments passed and I felt a hand on my shoulder, but I didn't look up.

"Aawww man, thanks," he said. "It's good to hear that kind of stuff. I mean -- it's not good that it happened, but it's... I mean..." He took a deep breath. "I mean, it's nice to hear that I'm not strange or anything."

I snorted at his comment. "Strange, huh?", then started chuckling. He removed his hand from my shoulder, and I quickly stopped laughing and turned back to him. He was still looking at me from under those strawberry-blonde locks of hair, but now there was a smile on his face. I didn't want to say any more. I didn't want that smile to ever leave his face, but I knew I had to dig deeper.

"So," I said quietly, "Jared... why'd you get upset when I came out of the bathroom?"

Just as I feared, the smile on his face quickly disappeared. He looked away from me and buried his head back into his knees. He sat like that for a few moments; I knew he was crying again, but silently this time.

Finally he lifted his head, his cheeks wet from his tears, and stared forward towards the door. He sighed before he started.

"Cause... back in my old school, I was picked on a lot." His voice went monotonous as he continued. "I got bullied and kicked around... everywhere I went, there was someone... someone who wanted to pick on me."

"Why?" I sat back up and crossed my legs.

"'Cause I was an easy target. I'd cry... I'd cry every time someone would pick on me." He was silent for few moments before he continued on.

"One day, these guys were really fucking with me. They finally cornered me and said they where gonna kick the shit out of me. I was so scared I couldn't move. I just waited for it to happen."

I sat in silence, knowing all too well that it was hard for him to tell me this.

"But all of a sudden, this guy came out and told them to leave me alone. I was stunned that someone actually would come out and defend me. Anyway, it turned into a fight between two of them, but one of the teachers came out and broke it up."

Jared's voice perked up, as if remembering something happy.

"We all got detention and the guy offered to walk me home, so I let him. He came over and he was banged up pretty good -- lots of cuts and bruises and shit. I found out his name was Brandon and that he was a grade ahead of me. Anyway, we became best friends after that, and people started easing up on me."

He tilted his head back against the wall and looked up at the ceiling. Tears continued to pour down his face.

"We were best friends for almost two years. Then I got sent over here almost three months ago. I haven't... seen him since."

I think I was beginning to understand.

"I cried earlier `cause... you just... just reminded me of him." Then Jared started weeping loudly.

I didn't what to say or do; I was lost in all of what he had just said. So I did the only thing I could think of: I moved closer to him and slid my arm around his shoulder.

"Hey, listen. It's okay." I let that slip out in a soft whisper.

He stopped looking at the ceiling, then turned his head to mine. He just looked into my eyes for a few moments, then uncurled himself from his sitting fetal position. His arms snaked around my mid-section, and this time he hugged me. I felt a little weird at first, but that left swiftly as I realized that this poor kid really needed a friend. I was a little confused, though.

I waited 'till he pulled away to ask my next question. "So, why have you guys not seen each other since you left? I mean, you still live in the same town. It's not all that big a deal to pick up a phone and call is it?"

He shook his head. "It's... a little more complicated. Stuff to do with my folks. He was a little calmer, but I knew he was holding something else back.

I was now getting a little frustrated. When I asked Dustin something, he usually just came out and told me. I really didn't like this cat and mouse game that Jared and I were playing.

"So what happened between you and your parents?" I said, exasperatedly. "It must've been somethin' totally harsh if they sent you all the way over here."

"I...don't want to talk about...about that. Please -- just don't ask." He looked at me, his eyes dulled with pain, still reddened from his earlier outburst.

"OK," I said, finally. "Sorry. I won't ask again, then." I decided to give up on that one for the moment.

He must've picked up that I was hurt by that, though. "I'll... I'll tell you one day. But just not now, okay?"

I realized that he had told me all that he was gonna tell me tonight, so I put up my white flag. "Like I always say, man -- no prob." I put my smile back on to tell him I was okay.

I stood up and walked over to my little TV on the shelf by the foot of my bed. I flipped it on and slapped a game into my Super Nintendo. "Wanna play Dr. Mario?" I looked over my shoulder at him. "Sorta sucks, but I don't have many other games."

He smiled up at me. Now that all the evening hardships were past us, I felt that rubbery feeling again in my gut.

"Sure, that'd be great."

I flipped on the power switch and grabbed the controllers, tossing him one. He grabbed it and rolled over onto his stomach facing the TV. I lay down beside him and we started playing the game.

I was so close to him, our arms or legs would brush up against each other each time we moved. Every time that happened, it felt like a little jolt of electricity passed through my clothing and set my skin aflame. It was a good thing I was laying on my stomach, because my erection was painfully making its presence known. Every once and a while, though, I'd catch him glancing over at me. Once, halfway through a game, I turned my head to look at him. He just stared back, his passionate blue eyes locked to mine. I felt totally self-conscious, but I couldn't look away. A shy smile curled up on his lips as he looked at me, and I couldn't help but smile back.

I knew that moment; I had just fallen in love with Jared.

----------------------------------------------------------------------- End of Chapter Two -----------------------------------------------------------------------

Well I hope you liked it! Don't worry the third chapter will be out sometime next week - god willing that is. But please do send me comments! Good and bad! (not bad as in flamers, but bad as in constructivly bad, LOL) Let me know, I really like to hear from you guys! My email is... davidlogann432@msn.com

Anyways thanks for reading!

Copyright David Logann 2002