Warnings and Disclaimers: See chapter one
Even though he didn't get much studying done, Jack stayed at the library until closing. It was well after10:30 p.m., when he reached home. His hand hesitated as he turned the key. He heard voices and laughter. He felt sick to his stomach. The Matthews were still there. He took a deep breath and plastered a fake smile across his lips. He would greet everybody, make his excuses and head straight for his room.
He swung the door open with more force than he had intended. The room was empty save for the television which was still on and the source of the laughter he heard. Alan Matthews was also there..
"What are you doing here?" Jack demanded.
"Whoa...where did all this sudden hostility come from?"
"Lower your voice. Shawn and Eric will hear you," Jack attempted to whisper.
"They're not here. Amy decided she'd feel better if Eric and Shawn stayed with us until they recovered."
"And you're here because?"
"Eric needed a few things. I told him I wanted to check on the store and then I'd come over and get his stuff."
"How long have you been waiting?" Jack eyed the man suspiciously.
"Just about half an hour. I was hoping you'd be back soon. I didn't want to leave things the way they were."
Alan drew closer, backing Jack against the door.
"I can't do this Mr. Matthews. I feel so guilty. I just can't," Jack pleaded.
"So it's Mr. Matthews now?"
"Alan...please..."
"How do you think I feel?" The older man said, tracing the back of his hand against the boy's cheek.
"Then why are you here. Why can't you leave me alone?" Tears threatened to spill down Jack's face. His lips trembled.
"I...I just can't. I want this so much. I know it's crazy...but I have to have you."
Alan leaned in and kissed the teen. He felt the boy tremble in his arms and pulled him closer. Jack resisted the man's repeated attempts to deepen the kiss, but he didn't resist being held in the strong arms that up until a few days ago he couldn't imagine wanting around him. Jack wrapped his arms around the senior Matthews neck and buried his face there also.
"I want this too," he sobbed.
Without another word, Alan scooped the boy up in his arms and carried him to his room. Jack lay boneless on his bed, allowing the man to undress them both. He watched as the older man sheathed himself with a condom that he fished from his jean pocket and climbed on top of him. Jack felt like he was having an out of body experience as he watched everything happen. He felt the man enter him and saw it as if he was floating on the ceiling looking down. He closed his eyes and gave in to passion. There was no turning back now. He knew he was falling hard for his best friend's father.
Jack lay there long after Alan left. Feelings of happiness and regret plagued his mind. His mind drifted back to Eastland and his affair with Prof. Gary Shepard, Chairman of the humanities department.
Gary was a handsome man. His six foot wiry frame was well toned. Jack remembered carding his fingers through his shoulder length sandy brown hair. The affair had begun after Jack had worked for the Humanities department as part of a work study program. It was funny how Shawn always resented him for being a rich kid with resources at his fingertips. The truth was though Jack's stepfather was well off and generous with his money, but that generosity never extended itself to his stepson. Jack learned not to depend on the man for anything and worked hard to pay his way through college even though the man willing lent Chet money for his half-brother Shawn to go to college. During high school Jack began to work, putting aside money to further his education. He wanted desperately to be free of his overbearing overachieving step dad.
His first year of school, he lived in the dorms, worked, saved money and studied hard. The opportunity to work in the Humanities department had been a dream come true. The hours accommodated his class schedule and he met Gary as an added bonus. Junior high and high school had been particularly hard for Jack. He was a good athlete and a bright student, but he hid his sexuality for fear of being ostracized. He promised himself that college would be a new beginning for him, a chance to explore his sexuality.
More and more, Professor Shepard would make use of him, getting him to organize his papers and copy and fax for him. One night a few months into the fall semester, Prof. Shepard had asked Jack to help him put together a seminar he was working on. It was designed to recruit more students into the department. Jack already was smitten by the thirty-something chairman and welcomed the opportunity to spend some time in his company alone.
As the night wore on the two sipped beers and ate Chinese take-out. Casual touches turned into much more and before the evening was over, Jack lost his virginity across the desk of the most beautiful man on campus. The affair continued well into the winter and spring semesters. The two managed to find stolen moments of pleasure. During the summer, Gary was to lecture at a college in Maryland and had invited Jack to go along with him. The two parked up along a hidden turn off and opted for a few quick moments of pleasure. Pulling back onto the road, they were blindsided by an SVU and sent whirling out of control.
When Jack came to, he was in a D.C. hospital. His mother and stepfather were there. The looks on their faces showed more than concern for his health and well-being. It was only after several days, that Jack learned he had been in a coma for over a month. The news worsened when Jack learned that his lover hadn't survived the accident. He wanted to die too. That desire increased when his stepfather began to hurl angry accusations at him for destroying a man's career and wrecking his happy home. Over the next few hours, his mother told him of the state they found the two of them in. Traces of semen were still on their clothes as well as other places.
Since no one knew they were lovers, a police investigation had begun and at some point Gary's wife was contacted about his sexual proclivity. The revelation destroyed her and she went into a deep depression which ultimately caused the children to be placed in foster homes. The news devastated Jack. During their close to one year affair, he had no inkling that his lover was married with children. The scandal rocked the small Eastland campus and Jack's parents had been contacted and told that it might be best if Jack, should he recover, transfer off campus.
By the time Jack was able to leave the hospital and return home, his life was in shambles. His parents watched him constantly. Eventually he tracked down his natural father and then his half-brother and transferred to Pembrook. He vowed never to make that mistake again. If and when he fell in love, the guy would be unattached and most definitely available. The news of Eric and Shawn's accident opened the floodgates of painful memories, and despite his claims otherwise, here he was involved knowingly with a married man.