Moving is hard on everyone, but I think there are certain times in a persons life when it is harder to start over. Like when my grandmother died my grandfather went into a nursing home and it just seemed like her death coupled with the move was just too much on him. I think when you hit puberty is another time, or maybe that is just cause I just hit puberty and we moved.
My folks are divorced, which is ok. All they did was fight anyway, so now my mom lives in Boston and my father took me to middle of nowhere, Nevada. Actually it is ok, I guess. I mean, there isn't much for me to do since the main form of entertainment is gambling, but on the other hand when I call my friend Chris I tell him how whore houses are still legal here!
My name is Justin and I turned 15 in a U-Haul truck on the way out here, I stand 5ft 4inches tall with light brown hair, parted in the middle. I guess I have always been interested in guys and I was sure no one knew about that, even though I was always afraid that someone would find out. I mean, who did you know in high school that looked at other guys? Now think of the ones that didn't get harassed or get their asses kicked. So I stayed quiet. Sure I looked, and I was relieved as well as disappointed that showers were not taken after gym. Just lucky like that I guess.
The house we moved into used to belong to some railroad baron or something, it is huge with a wraparound porch and a turret, just like a castle. My dad was eager to make me happy when we got here. My parents were both worried about the effects of the divorce on me. I think it is the only thing in recent memory that they agreed on. Anyway, I thought the round room under the turret was cool, so dad let me have that as my room.
My room overlooks a small park lines with trees and a small fish pond at the far end. I sit in my room and watch kids shoot hoops on the courts and dream about a few of them, even though this is a futile effort since I know I can never have any of them. I wish I were with my mom because I think it would be easier in a large city to be who I am, I mean who has the larger gay population, Boston, Mass or Butthole, NV? Well don't let the name fool you, it's Boston. Anyway we were done moving in and I decided to go over for a better look at the courts, I'm no center, but I can shoot from the outside. As I wandered through the park I took note of all the people passing through, lovers out for a walk, a jogger and his dog, and an old fellow sitting feeding the birds near the courts. As I approached the courts the old fellow took note of me and waved his hand in a gesture of welcome, so I walked over and sat on the bench with him.
"I'm Julius Farrel," he said in a melodious voice as he proffered his hand, "You must be new in town, I know everyone- except of course you."
"Justin Corcoran," I offered shaking his hand, "I did just move here about a month ago. You know everyone, huh?"
"Near abouts everyone, mayhap there be one or two I ain't too familiar with, but I spent all my life in this little burg and I seen it grow, most of these kids I seen grow, knowed there parents too. You can see a lot of growin if you just watch a little."
I turned toward the court and took note of the teams, on shirts and one skins. The skins team was definitely more interesting.
"Are you interested in basketball?" I asked, staring a little too long at the skins point guard.
"What, basketball? Hell no. Stupid game. Also I was never any good at it. People tend not to like things they aren't good at, and I am no exception."
"So who is the guy there with the ball?" I asked, hoping the question would come off sounding like I wanted to test his bold statement.
"That one there? Oh, he is just the mayors son, is all, Kyle Pritchard. He is a looker, isn't he?"
It took a moment for the words to wash over my conscious mind.
"What did you say?" I asked quickly.
"Kyle there, he is a looker isn't he? I mean, look at the way he sees the whole court, the passes he makes out there make it seem like he is using those guys for practice. Always like a good looker." Julius said in a voice that seemed full of concentration.
Justin sighed slowly. Man, I have got to get a hold of myself, of course he meant that he saw he court, Kyle is playing guard, what an idiot!
"Still with me?" Asked Julius.
"Um, yeah," I managed, "I thought you said you didn't like basketball?"
"If you remember" he drawled, "I also said I wasn't any good at it. Haven't you ever heard of sour grapes boy? No? Well let me tell you....."
His words were lost on me. There are moments that stick in your mind, and when you conjure an image of a person, that image is what springs to your mind. I had just such an image now. Kyle had just made a long shot, and his torso stretched, and his skin glistened with sweat, and his shorts rode up on the way down. Perfect.
"If you stare, they'll start to notice you, look away fool, look away!" Julius growled, and finished by shoving me out of my trance.
I looked around to see if anyone had heard his statement, but no one had, to my relief.
"Hey, I was just watching that shot, I wasn't staring!" I squeaked, realizing too late that I was speaking defensively.
"Now hold on," He interrupted, " I wasn't trying to be rude or accusing you of nothing. I was just sayin that when you stare at a group of fellows that hard you gonna git in trouble, you know? I mean times is more permissive than when I was a little un, but people is still biggots, and they make mistakes. I know, cause I stared too long when I was a boy, and someone else paid for it. People knowed about me from then on and it seemed that no matter how far away I went I could still feel my old neighbors starin at my back, people I had knowed since I was a kid turned me out.
"But I say those were also less permissive times, but just as brutal today. So If you is, stop starin so hard. An if you isn't, then take it as a lesson."
I stood to leave, but found my self somewhat reluctant. I did need someone to confide in, but did I want this guy? Did I have a lot of choices?
"Listen," Julius said, "I really need to be getting on, but I come here to the park almost everyday, and I do know everyone and most everything that happens here. Even the things that happened in your house through the years, so if you think it over a bit you can see I am harmless, so look me up." He smiled and slowly ambled off towards the East Side of the park, birds trailing in a hesitant fashion, a few bold ones actually on his hat, and he left.
I considered his words. Probably good advice, before I had gotten to go to school and had to dispel any rumors.... Oh well, nothing had come of it, so I wasn't going to worry. I was wondering what he meant about the comment he made about my house and what had happened there when I was stirred from my reverie by the unmistakable sound of a fight.
Turning my attention back to the court I saw that the shirt center was trying to corner Kyle. The center was at least four inches taller and looked like he had a good fifty pound on his smaller opponent. Kyle was rather slim, although his muscle definition was very noticeable through his chest, abs, and his legs were so well formed. I have always been a leg man. His facial features were delicate, and it looked like the other fellow was about to spoil all that.
The court was fenced in by seven foot chain link, so escape was not an option.
I made my decision in a heartbeat, and I gave myself no opportunity for argument, I moved across the distance between us with a sense of urgency. The ring of shouting spectators that had slowly formed around the pair and were calling from one to the other alternatively pleading for them to stop so they could keep playing, or to wallop the hell out of each other. I knew that if I didn't hurry I would miss my opportunity. I moved into a gap behind the center that had been left open, probably since you couldn't see much through the guy. I side stepped just a little and caught Kyle's eye. Time seemed to slow for an instant as I locked my gaze to his. His green eyes seemed to hold me in a trance, mesmerizing my whole being into apathy. I mentally shook myself and got down on all fours behind the center.
Kyle's eyes grew wide with comprehension. The next few moments were a blur, Kyle's foot met with the centers groin and then he was being pushed backward, toppling over my stilted form. As soon as he went over my back I was up and moving to distance my self. I felt a hand on my arm and a breathless voice near my ear.
"Come on!" Kyle panted.
So I did. We ran down the length of the park, crossed the street and turned the corner again.
My thought were tumbling as I ran behind Kyle, his back clear and tanned, his legs well muscled, and the shake of his thighs with every step he took, not to mention his ass shaking in from to of me. This must be what it I like to be high, I thought. But how do I keep the moment from ending?
I reached out and caught his shoulder, felt his sweat and the suppleness of his skin. As he slowed I pulled his upper arm and steered him off the sidewalk and between two houses, adding a simple breathless "This way."
We emerged at a wooden gate that I pushed through and slammed shut behind us, now safe in my yard.
Kyle wheezed, hands on his knees but head up looking at me, grinning.
"Is there something wrong?" He asked.
"No, why?" I panted.
"You...are out of....breath!" He said between gasps.
"Wha..." I started to ask and then just started laughing along with Kyle who had given up even trying to stand and now lay on the ground laughing.
As we recovered gradually from our laughing fit we introduced our selves.
"I am Kyle Pritchard, and thanks a lot. I thought he was going to pound me for sure!"
"I'm Justin, and I thought he was gonna pound you too!" At this we were off laughing again.
"So what did you do to piss him off so bad anyway?" I asked.
"Oh, well he took his driving test the other day and hit a parked car, and he also has a bad habit of swinging his elbows when he drives to he hole. So I just made a little comment about how his license and his game were the same thing, since he doesn't have either one, and, well, it just kinda pissed him off. A little." He chortled the last word out and we were off laughing again.
As we finished up the last round of giggles we were side to side on the lawn. The laughter felt so good, and the sun shining off his tanned shoulders and chest made him appear a vision. But the last straw was his shorts, since he was sitting they had ridden up a little and I could se all the way up to his tan line.
I got to my feet and away from him, tying to conceal my erection. I f he noticed he gave no indication.
"Man, my dad is gonna kick my ass for losing my shirt!" He said.
"You wanna borrow one?" I asked, "Or we can watch through my window until they leave, since he will probably leave it behind."
"Cool, you're right. He probably won't take my shirt, he probably won't even notice it."
So we headed into the house by the back door which opened into the kitchen.
"Want something to drink?" I asked.
"Yeah, water please.' He said "This place is cool, man. Did you know someone died here?"
"Oh, yeah right. I forgot. Did you kill the person? Let me guess, the persons bedroom is mine now, right?"
"Dude, I'm serious. It was a long time ago- like sixty years, but it's all true."
"Whatever, man," I said as I handed him a glass of water," I'll let you know if anything goes bump in the night."
He shrugged and wandered into the living room.
"Look, man, I don't have any reason to lie, it's just what I heard. This place is so cool, though." He gave me a sly smile, "Hey, let's go up to your room."
"Um, ok. Sure. Follow me." I stammered. Was that something there? Or was he just fooling around? Ok this was new territory, how do I act now?
We went up the stairs and into my room. Still cluttered from the move, and I figured I would use that excuse for about the next six months to explain the mess as I am not a neat person.
"Whoa, check out the science project! What was it? OJ?"
"Urine sample." I deadpanned.
"EWW, gross," he winced in mock horror, "don't you know you are supposed to give those to the nurse when you are done?"
"Oops, knew I missed something. What a relief it is to have you, I really needed someone to point out the finer points to me." I said, dripping with sarcasm.
"That's my job," He said as he flopped on my bed (On my bed!), "Thinking about the things you miss in daily life and coming around once in a while to tell you what it is. Next time I will try to point it our before it becomes self aware. I think it's moving."
Kyle examined my glass, and as he leaned over his locks drew down over his face. He used his fingers to brush his hair away. Click, another image.
"Oh, man," he moaned, " he found my shirt. Damn."
"I got one, hold on." I said as I started rummaging through my drawer. I was suddenly aware of a warm caress on my neck, like sweet breath. I stiffened.
"H Here you go," I said, turning around.
"Oh, thanks," He said, GETTING UP OFF MY BED.
What the hell was that?
"Hey, man, what'r you doin tomorrow, besides jackn off?" He smirked.
" Nothin much, why?" I asked, heart in a triphammer in my chest.
"Cause my dad got gift coupons for the movies, and he doesn't like Tim Allen. So I was wondering if you want to go to the movies." He grinned again, "So, is it a date?"
I gaped at him. A date? Did he say that? My astonishment must have shown on my face.
"Hey, don't get excited, I didn't mean a real date or nothin. Jeez, you have no sense of humor do you?" he said.
"Sure I do. Best joke I heard all day was about your dick." I said, pleased with my recovery.
"Too bad you heard it from your girlfriend." He smirked.
Damn, got me good. We burst out laughing.
"So? You'll call me and let me know, right?" he asked.
"No, I most certainly will not." I said, sternly, "It is impossible to call someone if you don't know their number."
"Ok wise guy, get me a pen or something. Man, what a smart ass." He said
The rest of the night was spent in anticipation of the next day. Oh, man. This whole thing was screwy. I mean messy. I mean, damn, it was just complicated. I had liked other friends before, but not like this. How do I deal with this? I mean, what kind of conclusion could I reasonably hope for? Was he more to me as a friend or lover? Well, that was kind of hard to answer, since he seemed like a good friend, but I hadn't known him as a lover. I decided to take a walk.
The park is quiet at night, so my thoughts were the loudest thing happening. As I approached the basketball court my shoe seemed to pick up weight. I stopped and glanced down. Something was on my shoe, so I stooped over to pick it up. Cloth, but shredded. Must be Kyle's shirt.
"Boy, he sure did trash that n', didn't he? Must a tore that shit up for more n' ten minutes, he was so pissed." Came a soft, yet rough voice.
"Julius, what'r you doing here?" I asked.
"Same thing your doin, mostly. Thinking. Difference is you'll go home, and I am already there."
"Oh, I didn't realize you lived here. I'm sorry."
"For what?' He said, "I have a house, I just choose not to got there. This is my home now. It is more than I deserve, really."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"No matter. Long ago and far away. What thoughts bring you out tonight Master Justin? Wouldn't be Kyle Pritchard's shirt, would it?"
"What? No, why would I want his shirt?" I asked, perhaps a little too quickly.
"Oh, nothing. Just thought you might want to, well, give it back to him. Another opportunity to talk, you know." He said in a far off voice, as if he were day dreaming.
"We talked plenty this afternoon, "I said, getting nervous, but not sure why, "As a matter of fact we are going to the movies tomorrow night!"
"Oh, first date already? Wow, you are good." He winked as he started to move away.
"Dammit, Julius, what is that supposed to mean? Will you just be straight with me? I mean everything you say seems to have a double meaning and it is pissing me off! Are you trying to be my friend, or are you just giving me a mindfuck?" I hissed, amazed at the voracity of my words.
"Mindfuck?," He mused, turning the word over, seeming to taste it as it rolled from his mouth, "Mindfuck. Is that an erotic daydream?" He asked petulantly.
I opened my mouth to retort, but he cut me off.
"Ok, maybe I have been a little cryptic. But so have you. I mean, if I tell you I'm gay, and I don't mean happy, will you admit that as well?" He demanded.
I was taken a back at this turn of events. How did he know? And how should I respond? I mean, damn again! Do I admit to him? Will he expect something from me or what? I was sure I wasn't going to have my first time with Kyle, but I sure didn't want Julius either. On the other hand, what could it hurt? Who was he going to tell?
"I will answer that if you answer some questions of mine." I finally said.
"Ok, now we are getting somewhere. Ask away." He retorted.
"How did you know? I thought no one knew how I feel inside. What gave me away? You have to understand, " I said, hearing the whine enter my voice and being powerless to stop it, "I can't allow this to get out. I haven't even started school here yet and already I would be labeled and get beat on.
Plus I never told anyone before. So, how did you know?"
"Well, "He drawled, "It was an educated guess. I see you up in your winda, almost every day until you came to the park today. I saw you watch the court, so I figured either you love B-Ball, or you love watching the guys. And then I see you watch Kyle go home at night. Others too, but if he was there, always him. You got this pecking order, kinda grew out over a few days. Kyle, then Matt, then Tony, and Jonathan if noting better was around.
Plus you kept staring at them while we were talking today, and a teenage boy only does that when he is interested in something. And your eyes were on Kyle. When he jumped, so did your eyes."
"I see." I said, quietly. "So I was that obvious?"
"No, not unless you know what to look for and you have an active imagination." He grinned a grin that was full of mirth. I felt at ease finally, and decided to gamble furthur.
"So then what are my chances with him?" I asked.
"Not good to score, but as a friend? Well, lets say you couldn't have made a better choice if youda planned it."
I mused over this new piece of information. That wouldn't be so bad, would it? I turned to ask Julius his opinion, only to discover him ambling away again in that stilted gait. I ran to catch up with him.
"Hey, Kyle said the weirdest thing to me today," I said, a little out of breath, "He said someone died in my house. Care to comment?" This subject had to be better than my sexuality, but then that conversation was over when he walked away, wasn't it?
"Oh, ayup. Someone sure did die there. Knew him too. That's why I walk here at night, hopin' to hear him. Hopin' he's at peace. Hopin' it'll put me at peace."
Chapter 2
I awoke the next day after a restless night, dreaming of Julius forever wandering in the night, looking for some comfort in his heart over the friend he had lost. His first love, no less.
I rolled out of bed and tucked my feet into my slippers. As I made my way to the kitchen, I could smell bacon and eggs.
"There you are, I thought I would have to eat all this myself. Sleep well?" My dad asked, smiling at me.
"No, I didn't. Dad, did you know someone died here?" I asked as I took down a glass and filled it with OJ.
"Well, I had heard the story, yes. Why? Is that what was bothering you?" He asked.
"Kind of. I met an old guy in the park who told me the story. Really freaky." I said sitting at the table.
"Well, I heard it was a kid, but that is about it. What did he tell you?" He asked.
"Well, long and short the kid was gay, his father was a fire and brimstone preacher for the 108th bombadier wing of the fightin bible thumpers, and when he found out he beat him to death. This old guy actually knew the kid, was his friend he says."
"Wow, that's more detail that I got." He said as he served the food onto plates. "Do you believe what he said?"
"Well, he looked old enough, but..well, I don't know." I shrugged.
"Seems kinda vicious, but then so were those guys in Wyoming that killed that guy Shepard. So, who knows. Did you know that there were religeous nuts like those guys telling anyone who would listen that Shepard was in hell?" He said, shaking his head. I brooded over this information in silence, listening to the sizzle of the bacon. It was hard to believe people could be so nuts about something, especially if it was just who you were attracted to.
"So, I see you made your first friend yesterday, "he said while putting the plates on the table, "What's his name?"
"Oh, that's Kyle. He asked me to the movies tonight, is that ok?" I asked between mouthfuls.
"Normally I would say yes, but money is tight right now, Justin." He said apologetically.
"He has coupons for free movies, so I don't have to pay. So can I go? Please?" I looked at him anxiously.
"Ok, Ok. Seems like you've got the based covered on this one. Are you coming home, or spending the night?" He asked
"I'm not sure, but I'll call if he asks. Is that ok?" I asked, carrying my plate to the sink.
"Yeah. It's good to see you excited again. Have fun, I have to go to Reno today so you can have leftovers for lunch. And please do call and let me know if you are staying the night, and the phone number where you'll be at."
"Ok, dad. Thanks." I hugged him and headed for my room. As I neared the stairs there was knock at the door. I stopped long enough open the door, using it to hide the fact that I was in my underwear.
"Hey, man. You haven't called. Are you going tonight or what?" Kyle said.
"Oh, yeah I'm going, I just asked my dad. I was just going to call you" I stammered.
"Cool, so can I come in, or do you want to increase your image by having people see me on your porch?" He grinned again. That grin was infectious.
"Are you kidding? Every time you come here the property value drops. You need to come in through the back door from now on." I said, opening the door for him.
"Oh. That hurt, "He said, "On the other hand, that's the first time a guy ever asked me to visit his back door. Especially while he was standing in his underwear!"
I reddened and realized that I would need to shower quickly and get dressed before I got hard.
"Come on, I have to take a shower." I said.
"Is that an invitation?" He quipped.
We laughed and headed up the stairs. I was really getting nervous, he sure did make a lot of references. Was he hinting at something? Maybe Julius was wrong about him? One could only hope.
As we walked into my room Kyle walked over to the computer. "Hey, got any good games?"
"Yeah, "I replied, "Half Life with the Counterstrike add on."
"Oh, cool! Mind if I hook up to the net to play?" He asked.
"No prob, the password is 'cyclops'. Be out in a minute." I said grabbing a pair of jeans and underwear.
As I showered I reflected on the past 24 hours. This was going really well, and to hell with what Julius had to say, I was getting good signals from Kyle and I was going to 'go with the flow'. Although I definitely hoped they were flowing the way I wanted them too! All that thinking about Kyle had raised an issue, and I reached down to address it. I was not huge, about 5 1/2 inches, and not super thick, but good sized. As I watched the water run down my smooth chest and into the thatch of pubic hair that nested at the base, I began to slowly stroke my cut cock. I watched my leg muscles tighten and relax as they kept my balance. My thoughts turned to Kyle, beautiful Kyle. I pictured him jumping, sweat glistening on his skin, hanging from his nipple. His shorts riding up as he descended from the shot. It was all I could take as my pace quickened and my body stiffened. I shot my load on the shower floor, thick streams. I sighed and finished washing up. I toweled off and put on the boxer briefs and jeans I took to the shower with me and stepped into my room.
"Hey, listen, I forgot my dad wanted me to go to Reno with him today, can we do this tomorrow or something." Kyle stammered.
My mind raced, something was completely off. What was going on?
"Yeah, sure. You couldn't have remembered this yesterday?" I asked, a bit hurt and let down.
"Sorry, I do it all the time. I gotta go." He said, brushing past me.
This sucked so bad, my chest hitched as I heard the door close. My hands were eager to do something now, nervous energy coursed through me. I walked over to the computer and noticed the browser was still on. And it was open to the Nifty site.