Moving Forward

By Francis O'Ratigan

Published on Mar 17, 2000

Gay

Moving Forward Chapter 9 & 10 Copyright 2000 by Francis O'Ratigan All rights reserved.

"Chris!" shouted a voice. It was dark and I didn't want to open my eyes. "Chris!" shouted the voice again. A pair of hands was shaking me. I swatted the hands away. I opened my eyes and sat up. I looked around. I was in an alley. Justin was looking down at me. He looked scared to death. I went into action and jumped up and looked around. There was the gun man laying face down. The other three was no where to be seen. I went to the gunman and rolled him over. He was dead with a gunshot wound to the chest. I heard a sobbing noise and turned to see Justin standing there crying. "Oh God I killed him didn't I?" he asked. I looked for the gun and found it laying next to him.

"How did you get the gun?" I asked.

"I really didn't get it. We fought over it and it went off," explained a tearful Justin. I heard sirens off in the distance.

"Don't touch anything, leave everything just the way it is," I ordered Justin.

"But the cops are coming!" he yelled at me frantic.

"This is a crime scene Justin. You will contaminate the evidence," I told him. A squad car pulled into the alley way.

"Put your hands over your heads where we can see them!" ordered a voice. I put my hands over my head and motioned Justin to do the same thing. He did the same thing although he was scared to death.

"Man my mother is going to kill me if she finds out," he said. I almost laughed but didn't. Two cops approached us and frisked us. Once sastified that we were not armed they looked over the dead victim.

"Care to tell us what happened?" asked one of the cops.

"Well officer there were four of them and they cornered me in this alley," started Justin. As Justin told his story I told the other officer mine.

"And you see officer, I was hit from behind and everything went black. I didn't actually see the shooting," I finished.

"You two have any I.D. on you?" he asked. I produced my wallet and Justin handed the other cop his. "Let us run a check on these please stay where we can see you," the officer instructed us. A few moments later they came back.

"Alright you two can go for now," said the officer handing back their I.D. "Just make sure you stay in town for a few days. We'll call you if we need you."

I thanked the cops and we headed back to the hospital. I could tell that Justin was still shook up over it. "You want to talk about what happened?" I asked. He glared at me for a moment and than smiled.

"Thanks," he said looking down.

"Thanks for what?" I asked.

"For coming to my rescue," he said. "You didn't have to you know."

"What kind of person would I be if I allowed them to tear you up?" I asked.

"Yea but the way I treated you---," he started.

"Justin, don't worry about it, ok?" I asked him.

"I am gonna worry about it. You saved my life," he said smiling.

"I would've done it for any body," I mumbled.

"You have a hard time taking thanks don't you?" he asked.

"Yea well you would too if you were me!" I hurled at him. He looked hurt when I turned on his but I didn't care. He was a smart ass and He deserved it.

"Hey!" he shouted back at me. "I'm sorry if I pissed you off all right?" he hurled back at me.

"Pissed me off?" I asked looking at him like he was nuts. "Fuck man you busted my God Damm rib!" We were back at the hospital and by that time we weren't speaking to each other any more. But I could tell that he had a new respect for me. He wouldn't bother me about Brian any longer. I made my way to Brian's room and ran into JC who grabbed me and shoved me against the wall. I groaned in pain the wall hit my sore side. The next thing I knew Justin had grabbed JC and thrown him off of me.

"Leave him alone JC!" he shouted at him.

"What the fuck happened to you!" JC demanded looking Justin over. Justin swatted his hands away.

"I'm fine! I just got into a little trouble is all and Chris here was kind enough to bail me out," he said helping me up. "You all right man?" he asked concerned.

"I'm fine! Now let me go so I can get to Brian," I said swatting his hand away. He backed off and I walked into Brian's room. I smiled when I saw him. He was standing with the help of crutches. I went to him and gave him a hug and kiss. He slid his tongue into my mouth. I groaned and and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I missed you," I said playing the the cross I had given him.

"Guess what?" he said with a mischiveous grinn on his face.

"What?" I demanded.

"I get to go home tonight!" he said smiling.

"But I thought that the Doctor said he wanted to keep you one more night," I said.

"You want me to stay here one more night?" he asked grinning at me.

"Hell no!" I said pulling him towards the door. "Come on let's get you home while the getting is good." He busted up laughing.

"Well we do have to wait until the Doctor gives me an once over. Can we ride home in your new car?" he asked hopefully. I busted up laughing because Brian acted just like a kid.

"Yes you get ride home in my new car," I giggled reaching up and kissing him on the lips again. There was something about his lips. I just couldn't get enough of them. The doctor came in and gave Brian his discharge instructions and we headed out the door. Brian of course had to pitch a fit when he found out he had to ride in a wheel chair. But he soon calmed down when he convinced me to push him. (It didn't take much convincing.) Soon we were pulling into Brian's drive way. I helped him out of the car and into the house. The rest of the gang was there too including Nsync. I was hoping for some time alone with Brian. I had plans for him and they didn't include a crowd. It was late at night when the last of the guests left. Brian had already went upstairs to bed. So I was left downstairs to clean up. Justin decided that he wanted to treat us all to pizza. We must've put away 10 large pizzas. Finally at 11:30 I wasa ready to go to bed. I walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. I glanced at the bar and it called to me. I walked over to it and picked up a decanter of brandy. I looked at it for a few moments struggling with the urge of taking a drink.

"Just one drink to help me sleep," I said trying to convince myself. A hand closed on the bottle and took it away from me. I looked up to see the loving face of Brian. I looked into his eyes and found only love and understanding. There was no judgement in them.

"You know you don't need this," he said casualy as he put it down. "Besides I wouldn't it want it to dampen your judgement," he said seductively. I knew at that moment that I would give myself to him and he was right. I didn't want the alcohol to dampen the mood. I took his hand and let him lead me to the sofa in front of the fire place. I sat down first pulling him down. He pressed his lips to mine driving his tongue down my throat. I let out a moan as I slid my hands under his shirt and ran them up his well muscled back. Brian let out a shudder at my touch. His teeth began to lightly bight my chin and neck. Before I knew it he had my shirt off. I reached for his belt and pulled it free. Than I unbuttoned his jeans and slid them off. He slowly removed my pants too. Soon we were stripped to our boxers. I leaned back to take him in. He was like a God. His body well defined in every way. My eyes slowly travled down his body stopping at his waist. His erection was evident in the tent present in his boxers. I reached for his waistband and I heard him take a breath in. I grabbed his waist band and pulled them down. I felt my heart jump in anticipation at the sight of his reddish brown pubic hair. As I eased his boxers down further his cock sprang free. I gasped in delight at the sight of it. I slowly reached out and touched it. It jerked at my touch. Brian let out a small groan. I started to lean forward to take him in my mouth but Brian's gentle but firm touch stopped me. He looked into my eyes and I was shocked at the wild and reckless look he had in them. But overshadowing that look was love.

"Not yet my love," he whispered huskily. He leaned forward and graced my lips with his. than he attacked my nipples with his lips and teeth lightly bitting them. I let out a groan and arched my back to give him better access to them. Big mistake, it was at that moment that my ribs decided to remind me that one of them was cracked. I let out a groan of pain. Brian knew the difference right away. "What's wrong babe?" he asked his voice full of concern.

"Just my ribs. I have to be careful how I move," I said clenching my teeth to cover the pain.

"We should wait until you are better," said Brian. I was disapointed but knew he was right. We seperated and looked at eachother. Brian's erection had disapeared.

"I'm so sorry," I whimpered reaching out and touching him on the chest feeling the strong and steady beat of his heart.

"You've done nothing wrong babe," he whispered as he leaned forward and kissed me on the lips. "We have our whole lives ahead of us. We don't need to rush this."

"But I wanted to give myself to you," I said quietly. I heard Brian take a sudden breath in. Than there was silence. I felt something wet and warm grace my face. I looked up to see him looking at the ceiling with tears streaming down his face.

"I don't deserve you," he sobbed out.

"Please don't say that," I pleaded. He looked at me with such sorrow and shame in his face. "I am the one who doesn't deserve you," I whispered wiping his tears away. "I want you to be my first true love. Brian I want you to take my virginity from me." Brian looked confused. "The other time with the priest wasn't love. It wasn't sex. It was evil and a crime. When I give myself to someone it will be out of love. And Brian I want that to be you," I said with such emotion that I too had tears flowing down my face.

"God what did I do to ever find you," he breathed.

"Well you see uhh your car kinda fell apart on the side of the road and than I came along and picked you mmmmppph!" I was stopped by a pair of lips. I looked into his eyes and saw them twinkling with laughter. We broke apart and he extended his hand and I took it and we climbed the stairs. He leaned against me for support. I stripped out of the rest of my clothes and climped into bed with him and he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. "I love you Brian," I mumbled sleepily

"I love you too Chris," he whispered to me. The last thought I had was that I was the luckiest man on this earth . Maybe there was a God after all.

I woke to the singing of an angel. I groaned and sat up in bed and looked around. The sun was beaming in through the windows. Brian had gotten up and was in the shower singing very loudly. Alittle off key but I didn't care. I grinned evily and crept into the bathroom and slipped into the shower. There was my God standing in the middle of the shower stall with his head tilted back letting the water hit him square in the face. His eyes were closed and he had no idea that I was in the shower with him. My eyes traveled down the length of his body stopping at his cock. It was limp hanging low between his legs. I licked my lips in anticipation. I silently dropped to my knees to pay him homage. Opening my mouth I slowly engulfed his cock. Almost instantly he stopped singing and looked down at me in wonderment. His cock started to fill with blood and soon it grew to it's full eight inches.

"OOOOHHH God Chris!" he groaned out running his hands through my hair. I slowly started to bob up and down on his cock. Precome leacked out onto my tongue which I eagerly swallowed. He started to slowly thrust in and out. I looked up at his rigid six pack and rock hard pecs as they heaved in and out. He looked down at me with that same wild and reckless look he wore the night before. "MMMMM yes that feels so good. God Chris I'm almost there!" he yelled out. He started thrusting in and out faster and faster. His eyes wide with excitment and his mouth open in a soundless scream. Suddenly his body went rigid as he rammed in one final time. His cock head swelled to it's full glory and his flood gates opened and spewed forth his seed. I eagerly swallowed as much as I could. What I didn't catch I allowed to flow down my neck and onto my chest. Finaly the flood stopped and he helped me up.

"Now that was nice way to wake up," he said smiling down at me.

"Well I wanted to see if you wanted to play," I giggled at him. He got this serious look on his face and he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine giving me the most passionate kiss I had ever had. I just stood there in his arms and allowed him to ravage my mouth. When he was done he looked at me and smiled.

"Wow!!" I breathed out. I felt a little dizzy. He smiled at me and stepped out of the shower. I finished my shower and stepped out to. I followed him into the bedroom to find that he was almost dressed. He pointed at the bed and I smiled at the choice he had picked out for me. After getting dressed I began the task of hunting down Brian. I found him in the kitchen cooking breakfast. "Can I help?" I asked looking over his shoulder.

"Out! Out!" he ordered pushing me out the door. "I want to fix breakfast for you," he said grinning. I pouted and walked out of the kitchen and out onto the deck. It was a nice morning. I sat down in one of the lawn chairs and laid back and closed my eyes. In no time at all I had drifted off to sleep. After a few minutes of sleeping soundly I felt some one's lips grace mine. His tongue was probing my mouth to get in. I knew it was him so I decided to play hard to get. Clenching my jaws shut so he could not get in. I opened one eye and looked at him. We both busted up laughing. He sat back on another chair.

"So do you want to eat?" he asked. We headed back into the house.

I sat down and looked at the simple breakfast spread before me. Two slices of bacon scrambled eggs, glass of OJ and a slice of toast. I picked up a peice of bacon and bit off a piece. "You like?" he asked hopefully. I nodded as I picked up a glass and drank from it. "I was wondering if we could go--," he started only to be interupted by the telephone. He picked it up. "This had better be really important!" he shouted into the phone. I let out a giggle and he glared at me.

"Brian!" shouted Kevin. He was frantic. "Let me talk to Chris!"

"Yea sure Kevin," replied Brian looking concerned. "What's wrong?"

"It's Nick," sobbed Kevin. " He's locked himself in the bathroom and wont let me in." Brian handed me the phone.

"Yea Kevin, it's me Chris," I said worried into the phone. I could hear someone screaming in the back ground. It sounded like Nick but I couldn't be sure.

"I need you to come over," begged a frantic sounding Kevin. "Nick is acting crazy. He has locked himself in the bathroom and wont let me in."

"Ok Kev," I said into the phone. "First things first. Did he have anything to drink?"

"No I don't think so," replied Kevin. "God I am so worried about him. What is wrong with him?" he sobbed into the phone.

"He is going through DTs," I told him. "Try and stay calm and reassure him that it is going to allright. Just don't let him hurt himself. I am on my way over," I said slamming down the phone. "Come on Brian we have to go to Kevin's."

"Why? what is wrong with Nick?" asked Brian.

"Nick is an alcoholic. He going through what we call the DTs, withdraw from the alcohol. It sounds silly but it's not. It can be really scary for the person going through them." I explained to him on our way out the door.

"How do you know about that?" asked Brian.

"Because I went through them two years ago. I almost killed myself," I answered shuddering at the memory. I was messed back then. I honestly thought that my hands were rotting off and I tried to cut them off. Thank God I had a friend in the Corps that was there for me. Brian looked down at the scars on my wrist and shuddered. "Yea Brian, they can seem very real. Nick is going through a turning point in his life. Here is where we can save or loose him for good. You had better hang on because the ride gets real rough here on out." Brian nodded silently wiping a tear from his eye.

Chapter 10

I squeeled to a stop and was out of the car before it stopped rolling. AJ held the door open for us. "Where is Nick?" I asked. He pointed to the top of the stairs. He was real quiet and his lips were pressed really thin, I knew that he was scared. I pulled him into a hug. "It is going to all right AJ," I promised him. I ran up the stairs and found Kevin sittin on the floor with his head pressed to the door.

"I love you Nick," he said in suprising calm voice. "Please let me in baby."

"No!!" screamed Nick. "Get the fuck away from me you creep!!" I heard something crash against the door. Kevin jerked back sobbing as he did. I rushed to him and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Let me take over from here Kevin," I instructed. Kevin nodded and stepped aside. I knocked on the door. "Nick?" I asked softly. Silence from the other side. "Nick, it's me Chris."

"Chris?" he asked in a child like voice.

"Yes Nick," I said calmly. "It's me Chris, hey buddy what are you doing up here alone?"

"I'm scared Chris," sobbed Nick. "He is out there and he going to get me."

"Nick, why don't you let me in to talk to you?" I asked.

"Is he with you?" he asked. I bit my lip and forced out a lie. "No Nick I sent him away." I looked around to see that Kevin had indeed left. The lock clicked and he opened the door and I stepped in.

"Hey Buddy," I said smiling at him. He looked down at his feet. He was a mess. His eyes were all wild and his clothes were tore. He had dark circles under his eyes. "You want to go to your room and lay down for a while?" He nodded and I put my arm around his shoulder and led him to his room and laid him down on the bed. After covering him up I got up to leave. He grabbed me not wanting to let go.

"Please don't go," he begged. "Hold me please?" I looked out the door and saw Brian. He nodded and I climbed into the bed with Nick and pulled him close. He hung on to me like a life line. Not wanting to let go. I felt the bed sag and an arm suround me too. I look up and saw Brian sitting on the side of the bed.

"It is going to be all right Nick. It will get better I promise," I whispered into his ear. It took Nick about 30 minutes to fall asleep. When we were sure he was asleep we quietly left the room. Walking down stairs we could hear Kevin and AJ arguing. I picked up my pace. Running into the living room we caught AJ standing over Kevin shaking his fist at him.

"All those months you've used Nick as a punching bag! No wonder he is drinking himself to death!" yelled AJ.

"It's not my fault Nick can't hold his liquor!" Kevin shouted back pushing AJ away. I stepped in between the two of them. "Stay out of this Chris this is not your concern!"

"Bullshit Kevin!" I shouted at him. "You called me and asked for my help so it is my concern!" Brian managed to get AJ off to a corner and I sat down with Kevin on the couch.

"How is Nick?" Kevin asked.

"He is sleeping now. But Kevin, this isn't over. Nick still has a long road to hall. You need to come to grips with Nick's problem," I said to him. He jumped up and stormed off.

"Oh brother here we go again with that Alcoholism is a disease crap!" he hurled at me. I got mad, I know I shouldn't have done it but I punched Kevin in the face. He fell to the floor holding his nose. Blood was flowing freely. "What was that for?" he demanded.

"You are an ass!" I hurled at him. "Brian go up stairs and get Nick. We are taking him out of this hell whole!" I stormed out of the house with Kevin and AJ hot on my tale. I got to the car and started to open the door when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to find Kevin standing there. "What!" I demanded.

"You're not going to take Nick away from me!" he hurled at me. I could see the anger in his eyes.

"Until you realize that Nick DOES have a legitimate problem you are not going to spend another day with him!" I hurled at him. The front door opened and out walked Brian and Nick.

"Please don't leave me Nick," pleaded Kevin going up to him. Nick backed away from him like he was poison. Kevin backed up as well. "Don't do this Brian," he stood in Brian's path. Brian just kept on walking forcing Kevin to move out of the way. "Fuck all of you!" he shouted at us storming back into the house.

"Come on Brian," I said opening the door. "Let's get Nick home." Brian helped Get Nick in Nick's car because mine had only two seats. Brian drove Nick's car following me back to the house. Once we got back to the house we got Nick settled in the guest room. Brian and I removed all of the breakable items from the room. I told Brian that it would be a good idea if we did that. I finally headed downstairs and sat on the couch in the living room. Brian sat next to me wrapping his arms around me pressing his lips to mine and grinding his crotch against mine. I reached for his belt but he stopped me.

"Not here Babe," he whispered in my ear lightly bitting it. He grabbed my hand and led me up the stairs and into his room. I just let him control the whole situation. I wanted to give myself to him and I wanted it bad. He laid me down on the bed and started to remove my clothes. He started with my shirt. Slipping it over my head and leaving it there so that it cover my eyes. He grabbed my wrists and held them over my head too. His mouth came crashing over mine driving his tongue deep into mine. I felt his tongue travel over each of my teeth and then he tickled the roof of my mouth with his tongue. Finally he left my mouth and traveld to my chin lightly bitting it as he made his way down to my neck and adams apple. Once there he humed on it driving me nuts. I let out a groan and thrashed around. I was still blinded by my shirt and soon I found my wrists were tied to the bedpost. I was a little nervous about that but let it go. He continued to torture me with his mouth. Than he stopped. I could hear him stripping off his clothes. Than he laid on top of me kissing me again grinding his cock up against mine. Mine was still confined to my jeans and it was aching for release. I let out small wimper and he let out small laugh. "All in good time Lover," he whispered in my ear. Finally he grabbed my belt and pulled it free. Than with his teeth he undid my pants and pulled them down.

"God Brian," I wimpered out. He giggled and started to kiss my legs. First one than the other working toward my crotch. Taking the waist band in his teeth he pulled my boxers down and freed my cock. I heard him take a sharp breath in.

"God you are beautiful," he wispered as if in awe. He than graced the tip of my cock with a light kiss. I was in heaven. Now remember I still couldn't see and my hands were restrained. Needless to say I was going nuts with pleasure. He than started to cover my cock with soft kisses I was groaning and moaning almost non stop now and thrashing all over the bed. He just slowly continued to pleasure me.

"Pleeeasse Brian!" I groaned out arching my hips up. He let out another giggle and this time I growled in frusturation. Finally he took pity on me and engulfed my cock all the way to the hilt. His nose buried deep in my pupic hair. "OOOOOHHH God!!" I screamed out. He just started bobing up an down on my cock gently massaging my balls with his hand. I could feel the orgasm building. White spots appeared in front of my eyes as I clenched every muscle I had to prolong the orgasm. Of course he would not denied. Reaching under me he rammed his finger up my ass. I screamed and shot volley after volley of my cum down his throat. I could tell by his throat muscles that he was swallowing as fast as he could. I think I blacked out for a couple of seconds cause the next thing I knew I could see again and my hands were free and he was smiling down at me. He still had some of my cum on the side of his chin. He bent down and kissed me. I greedily grabbed the last drop of my cum from his chin. He laughed softly and pulled me into his warm and safe embrace. "Wow!!" I whispered as I looked up at him.

"Did you enjoy it?" he asked in that soft Kentucky voice. I nodded as I snuggled closer to him. He too snuggled closer to me our bodies meshing together. "Wait until tonight babe," he whispered to me.

"Why? what's happening tonight?" I asked. All though at this point I would walk through fire for this sex God.

"I will take you somewhere you have never been," he said kissing me on the forehead. "That is if you want me to."

"You can take me any time any where Brian," I whispered back to him. I was tired and laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes. He kissed my lips again and I mumbled something and drifted off to sleep. I knew that tonight I would give my self to him. I would loose my virginity to this God of Love and I would do it willingly and without reservation.

(From Brian's point of view.)

I held Chris in my arms. We both lay naked on the bed. He was tired out from my little assault on him. I smiled at the memory of what had just happened. I knew that I could have any man I wanted but I didn't want anyone I wanted Chris. He let out a small grunt and he turned over facing me. I bent down and kissed his fore head. He snuggled up closer to me. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. The door knocked. I rolled my eyes and climbed out of bed and slipped on a pair of boxers and slid the sheet over Chris.

I opened the door and saw Nick standing there. I stepped out into the hall to let Chris sleep for a while. Nick looked terrible "Hey Nick," I said with a small smile.

"Hey," he croaked back. "Can I talk to you for a second?" he asked.

"Sure Nick just let me through some clothes on. I'll meet you in the living room." I turned and headed back into the room to get dressed.

"Whacha doing?" asked a sleepy voice. I turned to see Chris sitting up in bed rubbing the sleep out of his eye.

"Nick wants to talk to me. Why don't you go back to sleep. I'll get you after we are done talking." He nodded and plopped back in the bed. I headed out of the bedroom and padded down the stairs. I could hear Nick sobbing in the living room so I picked up my pace and ran into the living room. I found him standing near the bar. He had his head buried in his hands sobbing. I went to him and pulled him in a hug. "It will be all right Nick," I soothed him.

"I want a drink so bad," he whimpered reaching out for the decanter full of brandy. I took his hand and guided to the water bottles instead. He latch onto one like a life line and picked it up and headed back to the couch and sat down. He tried to open the bottle but couldn't because his hands were shaking so bad. I took pity on him and opened the bottle for him. He took it back and drank heavily from it. "What am I going to do?" he asked. "I'm getting to the point where I can't even perform," he said looking at me for help.

"Nick maybe it's time you take a Leave of Absence from the band," I offered. He shook his head no.

"The fans--," he started but I put my hand on his shoulder.

"They will understand Nick," I said softly.

"I've never missed a performance," he sobbed out. "I don't want to start." He looked up at me with pleading eyes. I pulled him into a hug and held him.

"You have got to start thinking about yourself for a change." I whispered in his ear. "You need a rest so you can take care of yourself. Please Nick we're all worried about you including Kevin."

"Hah!" he laughed bitterly. "All he wants is a punching bag. He doesn't love me!"

"Nick?" I asked hoping that he would look at me. He didn't. "Nick! Look at me!" I said loudly. He jerked his head up and glared at me. "He does love you. And he is very worried about you!" I insisted.

"Well he has a funny way of showing it. The only time he shows any affection to me is when he has his dick in my mouth or up my ass. I'm tired of him hitting me all the time."

"Kevin needs help too and I am going to make sure he gets it," I promised him.

"How do I start?" he whispered.

"You've already started Nick," said a voice from the doorway. We looked up and saw Chris standing there. He had on a pair of sweats and a wife beater.

"Babe, what are you doing up?" I asked going to him.

"I missed you," he said leaning in for a quick kiss. He took my hand and led me back to the couch. Turning to Nick, "when you said you were an alcoholic you took a huge step towards recovery."

"I can't do this alone," he said staring at the floor. Chris put his hand on Nick's shoulder.

"Nick you will never be alone. We will be with you supporting you every step of the way," Chris said with such emotion. "Nick," he said. Nick kept staring at the floor. "Nick, please look at me?" he pleaded. Nick looked up at Chris. "You are not alone in this battle," he said looking into Nick's eyes.

"How do I start?" he asked.

"Well Nick there are several methods. You could check yourself into a clinic," I suggested. Nick looked scared at this.

"It is not as scary as it sounds," Chris spoke up. "It actually could work in your situation."

"How?" he asked.

"Well with your situation with Kevin for one. He is going to resist this in a major way. If you are in a clinic he can't get to you. You get to decide who can visit you or not. You are in control of a major part of the situation," Chris said.

"How do you know all this?" asked Nick.

"Well you see Nick I was in a situation much like yours. I finally checked myself into the base hospital and got the help I needed," Chris told him holding up his wrists to show him the scars. Nick took a deep breath in.

"God what happened to you?" he whispered.

"I'll tell you sometime. But for now let's just say that I hit a major low point in my life and almost died because of it." Chris said shuddering at some deep distant memory that he had tried to suppress long ago. I reached out and touched his shoulder. He smiled at me to let me know that he would be all right. I nodded. "So how do you want to do this?" Chris asked. About that time the doorbell rang. I got up to get it.

From Chris's point of view.

"I guess I'll check myself into a clinic. Do you know any good ones?" he asked. I heard a crash and I took off into the hallway leading to the front door. Brian was laying on the floor just getting up. Kevin was climbing over him.

"Kevin, what the hell are you doing," I asked.

"I'm here to get Nick!" he shouted at me. "You can't keep him here!"

"Why don't you go home and calm down and come back in the morning?" I suggested calmly. Nick stepped into the hall way and stopped once he saw Kevin.

"Nick Baby," pleaded Kevin. "Please come home with me." Nick shook his head no and walked back into the living room. Kevin went to follow him but I stopped him.

"Kevin," I said calmly. "Nick has made his choice please honor it by leaving him alone." He shrugged me off and kept going. Nick stopped me with a look.

"Please Chris, I would like to talk to Kevin alone for a few moments," he pleaded with me.

"I don't think it is a good idea for you to be alone with him," I warned him.

"Yea well he doesn't care what you think!" Kevin sneered at me and slammed the french doors in my face. I looked back at Brian who was standing rubbing his sore leg.

"I don't like the way this is going Brian," I whispered to him. He nodded and limped into the kitchen. I followed him.

(From Nick's point of view.)

I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Kevin came in and sat down too. He leaned over and gave me a kiss. "I love you Nick," he said smiling at me.

"Kevin, I have something to tell you but I don't think you are going to take this well," I stuttered out.

"You can tell me anything Nick," he said in a nice voice.

"I'm checking myself into a clinic so I can get sober," I whispered to him. I didn't see it coming. He slapped me in the face hard.

"No you're not!" he shouted at me slapping me again. This time I fell off the couch. "You are not sick and you are not checking yourself into a fucking clinic!" I got up and walked away from him. "Don't fucking walk away from me when I am talking to you!" he shouted at me grabbing my arm. I wrenched it away. "Why do you have to make me angry Nick?" he asked glaring at me. He slapped me again. The pain shocked me into action. I pushed him away. He stumbled back and tried to slap me again. I had made my mind that he wasn't going to get me with out a fight. I swung at him but missed. He caught my arm and twisted it around my back. I kicked back with my foot and got his knee. He dropped and grabbed his knee. "Oh boy now you did it!" he shouted at me and came at me again. I backed up looking for a weapon of any kind to use. I found the fire place poker and grabbed it and held it like sword. He just looked at me and laughed. "You are fucking pathetic, you know that?" He was laughing at me his lip curled up in a evil leer. He wasn't the kind loving Kevin that had saved me from Brian all those years ago. He grabbed the Poker and wrenched it away from me and tossed it aside.

"Get out!" I shouted back at him. He swung at me again and I ducked and he missed and slammed his fist in the wall. Swearing he swung at me again. This time it conected. I groaned and fell to the ground. I tried to talk but I couldn't get me mouth to move right. I realised with dread that he had broken my jaw. I was getting dizzy.

"I am so fucking tired of you Nick!" he shouted at me hitting me again. "You are nothing but a fucking drunk!" I tried to ward off the blows but couldn't raise my arms because he had me pinned. The first blow hit me in the eye. The second one hit my nose. Finally I lost count of the blows and at some point I blacked out.

(From Chris's point of view.)

"I am realy worried about Nick. He shouldn't be alone with Kevin in his condition. I'm going to check on him," I said getting up from the kitchen table. As we headed down the hall I heard a terrifying scream from Nick.

"Nick!" Brian shouted as he took off running towards the living room. He reached the Frenchdoors and tried to get them opened. But Kevin had locked them. I came up behind Brian and tried the door to. Swearng I kicked the door in. Brian ran in and stopped and sobbed at the sight. Nick was laying on the floor infront of the fire place. He was out cold and Kevin was standing over him breathing heavily. I went nuts and grabbed Kevin and punched him in the jaw knocking him out.

"Nick," cried Brian as he checked him out. Tears were flowing freely down his angelic face. I rushed to his side and carefully took Nicks head in my lap.

"Brian!" I shouted at him. He looked at me shocked back to reality. "Go call 911 now!" I ordered him. He ran to the phone. I looked down at Nick to get an idea how bad he was hurt. "Oooh Nicki," I sobbed out. From what I could tell he had a broken jaw and nose. The rest was bad bruising. He would live from the physical wounds but it was the emotional ones that I was worried about. Nick let out a moan and opened his one eye. His other one was swelled shut. "Nick you need to lie still OK?" I asked wiping a tear from his eye. "Brian has called 911 and they will be here to help you."

He tried to talk but the pain of his broken jaw caused him to scream in pain. "Please Nick," I said soothingly. "Try not to talk. Your jaw is broken," he nodded understanding. He looked over at Kevin who was just comming to. He tried to stand up to get away from Kevin.

"OOH God Nick!" Kevin sobbed out. "What did I do to you?" He tried to get to Nick but Nick started screaming and he grabbed onto me like a lifeline.

"Get out!" I shouted at Kevin. "Get the Fuck out of here you bastard!!" I was seeing red and Kevin knew I was mad. He didn't argue he quietly left the room. I could hear the sirens of the ambulance and police. "Don't go any where ass hole!" I screamed at Kevin. "The police are going to have a field day with you!" Nick grabbed my arm to get my attention. I turned my attention back to him. He was shaking his head no. It didn't take genius to figure out what he wanted. He didn't want to press charges. "But God Nick!" I shouted at him crying at the same time. "Look what he did to you!"

"NOO!" he struggled out. I glared at him for a few seconds and than quietly nodded.

"Fine!" I hurled at him in a harsh whisper. "But he had better stay away from me. Cause I will fucking kill him!" I tried to get up to go the door but Nick stopped me.

"Stay?" he pleaded. I nodded and rubbed my hand through is hair. He closed his eyes to the touch. I heard the front door slam and three ambulance attentants came rushing in. I slid out of the way to let them do their job. I walked into the hall and right into Kevin.

"Please Chris," he pleaded. "How is he?" I just glared at him and walked up to Brian. Brian took me in his arms.

"Get him out of here Please?" I begged crying into Brian's shoulder. He nodded and turned to Kevin.

"Kevin, can you please leave?" Brian asked.

"But Bri--," he started. I snapped and wrenched myself out of the safe arms of Brian. I grabbed Kevin and shoved him out the door.

"GET OUT!!!" I screamed. He scrambled down the steps and onto the sidewalk. He realized that I had lost it. I kept coming at him. I was barely aware that the cops were coming after me. "GET OUT!!" I screamed again swinging at him. My fist connected hitting him the face. He crumbled to the ground. Everything moved in slow motion for me. I jumped on him with my fists swinging. I barely even heard Brian pleading with me to stop. All I saw was Kevin beating up on poor Nick. I know revenge was wrong but I wanted to heap on him ten fold what he had done to Nick. Brian finally tackled me bringing me to the ground pulling me into a tight restraining hug. The cops ran passed me and grabbed Kevin and slammed him to the ground. I guess they finally realized that it was he that caused this whole mess. I watched as they wrestled with him slapping handcuffs on him. I watched Brian sreaming in agony as they hauled his cousin away. I finally closed my eyes and leaned against him. The last thought was that somehow I had lost Brian. Brian would never forgive me for trying to help Nick and destroying Kevin in the process. I started sobbing into Brian's chest. I must have stayed there like that for what I thought an eternity for I slowly became aware of my surroundings. A hand was brushing the side of my face and a soothing voice was whispering in my ear. I clung to that voice like a life line. I smelled his cologne and I took a deep breath. Pain seared through me and I cried out.

"What is it?" asked a worried Brian.

"My rib," I gasped out. "It hurts." He helped me into the house and I sat down on the first step. The paramedics went by us with Nick on the stretcher. "Nick!" I gasped out. He turned to me.

"Chris!" he mumbled out. They had his jaw taped shut because of the fracture. He looked really bad. Tears came to Brian and me as we looked upon him.

"We'll meet you at the hospital," promised Brian running his hand through Nick's hair. Nick nodded and smiled at us and gave us a thumbs up. Soon he was loaded into the ambulance. Brian immediatly turned his attention to me.

"Baby why did you attack Kevin like that?" he pleaded with me. I started crying again. (Seems alittle weird for an ex marine to so sobby. Hey I'm a sensitive guy so sue me! Now back to the story.) "You could have been hurt!" he scolded me angry at me. I sniffled and hung my head in shame. We were silent for a few moments. "I love you," he whispered in my ear nibbling on it. I smiled and kissed him.

"I love you to," I sniffled. He pulled me tight.

"It is going to all right Chris, I promise to make it all right," he whispered to me as he helped me up and into the car. Brian offered to drive and I was grateful to let him. He was rather uncomfortable doing it with his leg but he managed to do it with out to much complaining.

"Now what are we going to do?" I asked finally calmed down enough to talk.

"I don't know Chris, I realy don't know," sighed Brian. "I do know this. Kevin needs serious help. I've never seen him like this. He could've easily have killed Nick." I nodded my head silently not talking. I was in deep thought. Alittle over a week ago my life was changed for what I thought was for the better. Maybe I was mistaken.

"Brian?" I asked looking at him. He looked over at me and saw my expression and his expression turned into one of fear. "Maybe we are making a huge mistake about us."

"Chris?" he asked with his eyes filling with tears. "Are you planning on leaving me?"


Well this is it for this addition of moving forward. Sorry it took me so long to get it out. But I wanted it to be perfect. Oh and so sorry for the cliffhanger and sorry for the violence. At least there was some sex this time. But not to worry the next episodes will not have much violence in them. Any comments? e-mail me at frnceso@yahoo.com

Next: Chapter 6: Moving Forward 11 12


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