MOVE OUT, MOVE IN, MOVE ON
By Tommyhawk1@AOL.COM
WWW.TOMMYHAWKSFANTASYWORLD.COM
WWW.TOMMYHAWKSROGUEMOON.COM
I stopped when I saw the figurine like I'd hit a wall of glass. Frozen in place, was more like it, stopped in mid-movement.
Just a small ballerina figurine, done in pastel pink and flesh, with the tiniest bit of rose-red lips and the hair of jet black. Hand-painted, a keepsake, a remembrance.
Olaf's hand on my shoulder is what brought me out of it. "Neil." he said softly. His large form was almost looming over me, he topped me by about four or five inches in height.
That broke the spell, in a way, that is, I began to tear up. "We bought it at a yard sale. It cost us two dollars, I only had a single dollar on me other than twenties, and Todd pulled out the other dollar to buy it. It was the first thing we bought together. Nothing big, I know, but...." That was when I broke on down.
Olaf held me and let me cry it out. When you're leaving the apartment you've shared with your lover (now ex-lover) for eight years, you need a good friend to hold you now and then.
When I was still, he had the good sense to turn things practical. "We've finished packing out all the stuff out of the kitchen and bedroom." He said. "Just this room to go. Anything else here you want to take with you?"
Todd had told me to just take what I wanted. I looked at the figurine and said, "Yeah, I want to take this. Just this."
"All right." Olaf took the figurine from my hand, wrapped it in a towel from the bathroom we had kept aside for such things, and placed it in the box on the coffee table. Closed the box and ran the gun of packing tape over it to seal it up. His auburn hair drooped over his eyes, and he flung it back with one hand as he did so. Stood up and looked at me, his body only half turned, and his slender waist made that look graceful and svelte instead of awkward. His Nordic good looks were bent into an amiable half-smile. Not huge and ingratiating, not forced and pasted on. Just a munificent personality, ready and willing to help and be there for me in my time of need. He knew this packing was hell on me, and he had done more of it than I had. I kept pausing and remembering, regretting and recriminating myself. Olaf had kept me on track.
"Are you ready to go?" Olaf asked me.
I looked around. All the things that had been part of my life for so long. I was taking so little. So very little.
"Yeah." I said. "I'm ready to go." Walked behind Olaf carrying the box holding the ballerina and other things, and turned the lock on the doorknob and flicked off the light.
I had moved out.
I was staying with Olaf until I could find a place. A furnished place, because I didn't have much furniture. I could have denuded Todd's apartment, but hell, he had bought most of that stuff (his job earned him three times my own salary), so I was crashing on Olaf's couch, which was a sleeper sofa. Hell, Olaf let me turn the living room into my own room, sort of. I could sit up and watch television long as I wanted (I wasn't sleeping much, it's hard sleeping alone, and on a sleeper sofa, hell). But most of the stuff, I was happy enough keeping them in the boxes.
But I was piling stuff all over the place that way. Clothes worked well enough in the boxes, blue jeans don't care if you keep them in a box until you wear them, and my shirts weren't that sensitive, either. Not like Todd, who had suits to dry-clean and shirts that had to be specially laundered. I had ruined one of his shirts once by...no, enough of that!
A week into my stay, and I came home to see a big dresser sitting in the living room. "What's that?" I asked Olaf.
"A dresser for you." Olaf said. "I found it at a garage sale, just twenty dollars...so I bought it for you."
"For me?" I said. "Thanks, geez, my first piece of furniture for when I get my own place."
"Uh...yeah." Olaf said. "Sure. I got it because it kind of matches my own furniture, too. So we can put it anywhere you want to and it'll look okay."
"Well, gee, thanks." I said.
"I mean, if you want to put it in my bedroom." Olaf went on. "And you could hang your clothes up in my closet and...and stuff." Then, defensively, almost, he said, "I mean, you've been living out of boxes long enough, don't you think?"
"Sure, sure." I agreed. I hadn't thought about how the boxes had been bothering Olaf. "This place does look like a mess, doesn't it?"
"I didn't mean it like that." Olaf said. "I like having you here, Neil. Sheesh, I was getting so bored here at nights, not having anyone to talk to. It's why I kept visiting you and Todd so much. But this is better. Having you here, I mean."
"Todd." I said. "Yeah." I had seen Todd earlier that day. He was with another man. I couldn't tell if it was a friend or lover or what. But they were awfully friendly and I didn't know the guy. And if he hadn't found another guy, would he have broken up with me?
"I want you to feel at home here, Neil." Olaf said. That gentle smile was like the warm sun of springtime when the flowers bloom and birds are singing in the trees. "You can't feel at home as long as you live out of boxes."
"You're right." I agreed. "Let's get me unpacked."
We couldn't fit everything into the dresser, and why would I really want to unpack some stuff like the kitchenware anyhow. But the stuff I needed, we got unpacked, and cut the boxes in the apartment down to three I could stack in a corner, and so I did.
"What do you think?" I asked Olaf when I got things put away. "Looks a lot better in here, doesn't it?"
"Yeah." Olaf was looking at the dresser with some displeasure. I had put it between the television set and the stereo cabinet, there was just room for it there.
"It needs something, doesn't it?" I agreed. "I know just the thing." I opened the living-room box for the first time, unwrapped the figurine of the ballerina from the towel there, and put it on top of the dresser. A small touch of decoration of mine here in Olaf's apartment. "There." I said. "Now, I'm properly moved in."
"Yeah." Olaf agreed, and the smile, slowly, returned. "You're moved in."
I came home a few weeks later to find a mini-celebration waiting on the kitchen table. "Hey, what's this?" I asked. I was working pretty late at night, so Olaf had taken to fixing dinner for both of us so I could eat soon as I walked in the door, but this was more than just dinner waiting for me. It was nice to come home to a hot meal. Olaf was a good cook, if not a fancy one.
"Surprise." Olaf said. Not shouted, that wouldn't have been his way, just the quiet comment.
"What's this for?" I asked again.
"You've been living here with me for one whole month." Olaf said. "I thought we ought to celebrate that."
"A month?" I said. Looked at the calendar. "Yeah, I guess it has been a month. I'd kind of lost track."
"I figured you could maybe use a bit of celebrating." Olaf went on. "Time to declare your independence, and so on."
"Independence?" I said. "Yeah....yeah, I guess I should." I was really kind of, sort of, getting used to being on my own again. I'd heard a few days before that Todd had moved a new guy into our old apartment and you know, it didn't bother me all that much. More annoyed than anything else. It wasn't like Todd and I hadn't been fighting a lot before we broke up. Still, you hate to think someone gets over you that quickly. Todd had gotten over me, all right. "Time for me to get over him." I said aloud. Made a face. "I didn't mean to say that out loud." I admitted sheepishly.
"It's okay." Olaf said. His big, broad arms moved as he lit the candles. "Sit down and we'll have a real meal here. I made the same meal my mother makes for my father when they celebrate their anniversaries."
"The same meal each year?" I asked as I scooted up to the table. It was nearly eight o'clock at night, I was ready to eat and then some.
"The very same." Olaf said as he spooned some soup into a small bowl. "First course is a light chicken soup. Just to get the palate going."
The soup was little more than chicken broth, but it wasn't at all fatty-tasting. I had a couple of pieces of chicken in it and I ate those when I found them. Spooning it up took some time, but I followed Olaf's lead at the end and picked up the small soup bowl and drank it down that way. Olaf took my bowl from me and put it away as he brought in the next course.
"Now salad." Olaf said. "Again, just something to take the edge off your hunger so you can slow down and enjoy the main course and dessert."
"Fine by me." I smiled. I was enjoying the attention, as you can imagine.
"Now the piece de resistance." Olaf said when the salad was done. He brought us two small plates. "Roasted chicken topped with eleven spices. Sorry, the spices are a secret to my family." The chicken came with a side of green beans and carrots, both sliced longitudinally into slender little strands rather than blocked into chunks. It made a pleasing color on the plate, and the chicken was just a touch hot to the tongue. A white wine helped wash down the flames.
"And for dessert, fruit and cream." Olaf put three small bowls on the table between us this time, one of strawberries, one of banana slices and one in the middle of whipped cream. "What we do is dip the strawberry or banana slice into the cream and feed it to each other."
"Each other?" I said. Then I smiled. "Okay. If that's what you do."
"It's what Mom and Dad have done." Olaf said. "Their relationship has lasted over thirty years. I figure it's worth a shot for you and me."
He dipped a strawberry into the cream and presented it to me and I opened my mouth and let him slide it into me. When I closed my mouth, I tasted one of his fingers, and only then did it hit me. "You and me." he had said. You and me?
I chewed slowly while I digested that tidbit.
"Now you do me." Olaf said.
I took the strawberry, my brain swimming. What was I getting into here. What had I gotten myself into?
I looked at Olaf as I dipped the strawberry into the cream. Smiling as before. A nice, comfortable man to be with. He had made me feel more than welcome here. He and I had known each other for over five years, when he'd lived next door to me and Todd. He had moved out again a year later, but kept up the friendship by frequent visits. He was my friend, not Todd's. So easy to talk to. So easy to be with. Such a big, good-looking guy. He had made this dinner for us. Made all my dinners, even though he didn't have to. Let me live with him even though I wasn't in a good position to pay him rent and wouldn't be for some time.
I lifted the strawberry to Olaf's lips as he opened them for me. His eyes closed as I deposited the strawberry in his mouth, and he chewed it blissfully.
Why hadn't I seen this? And now that I had...what now?
You can't move out of an eight-year relationship and jump right into another one. But then, the last year, I had seen more of Olaf than of Todd.
"Now for the banana." Olaf said to me. He picked up a slice (like the carrots and green beans, they had been sliced the long way, and were about an inch and a half long, and a half-circle the other way. Easy finger food. The flat side gave the cream a big wide ledge to ride on. It went into my mouth and again I tasted the skin of his fingers with my lips. I let my own eyes close as I chewed and when I did, I felt his hand, which hadn't withdrawn, reach up and brush my cheek with the back of his hand. Not roughly, just...tenderly.
"Did your mother and father do that, too?"
"Yeah." Olaf said, his voice soft and husky. "I sneaked in and peeked at them once when I was six or seven years old. I didn't think it was silly, I thought it was...kind of special."
"Special, yeah." I whispered. I took up the banana slice and I dipped it in the cream and lifted it to Olaf's mouth. As he chewed I said, just as softly, "I'm full. Can we get to the next part of it now? Right now?"
"Yeah." Olaf sighed. His big body was a sculptured marvel as he got up from the table. The dishes were ignored as he came around me. His arms moved up and around me, his body pulled himself up to mine, and the kiss was flavored with strawberry, banana and cream. Sweet and soft and sensual. I had a sudden visual image of making love in a bed covered in strawberries, banana slices, and cream. Covered in sweet delicate softness like a confection.
Olaf's hands moved upon me with a trembling attached. "Oh, God, Neil." he whispered to me. "I...I hope you don't mind....what I did."
"I need you, Olaf." I said to him in assurance. "It took me a while to realize it...but I do need you."
"It's not too soon, is it?" Olaf went on. "I mean, not too soon since...."
I put my finger to his lips. "Don't say that." I crooned to him. "That's a name we don't need here, not now, not tonight." Later, I knew, the name would come up and have to be dealt with. I couldn't dodge it...but I could delay it. I'd settle for that.
"Okay." Olaf said. "I won't say it."
"Then let's get into the living room." I said.
I'm not sure why I wanted the living room and the sleeper sofa, when Olaf had a nice, big bed. Olaf didn't protest, he helped me rig it out, our hands moving quickly to get the thing out and ready. Then Olaf came around and helped me out of my clothes, his fingers moving on my shirt buttons like sensuous spiders, they walked on his fingertips over my bare chest beneath the shirt, and fire trailed in their wake as the venom of his love burned me.
Olaf was wearing his usual t-shirt and that wasn't as romantic for me to take off of him, but I did my best. Both of us bare to the waist, I played with his surprisingly oversized nipples, they just begged you to grab them and give them a twist, I swear. Olaf didn't mind, he just closed his eyes and groaned as I worked them, but after a moment, his own hands grabbed for my belt.
I did the same to his jeans front, and while he fought my belt buckle and zipper, I jousted with his jeans buttons. Inside that was a warmth that was covered in white cotton, his jockstrap. Olaf had already managed to get his own hand inside my briefs and had my cock thoroughly wrapped up in his palm, balls and all. I fumbled at him to do the same for him, and by the time I did, Olaf had pushed my own pants down to my knees. I gave up all pretense of seduction and just grabbed and yanked Olaf's pants down. At that, I was still behind in the getting-undressed game, for I still wore my sneakers and socks, while Olaf had been bare-footed when I got home.
It didn't matter. Nude and grinning, we got onto the bed. The sleeper-sofa bucked alarmingly, and I wished I'd gone on into the bedroom, but Olaf just rode it out and positioned himself over me, his cock above my face, my own grabbed and guided into his mouth.
When he closed upon me, I could only moan and his cockhead slapped my cheek and I caught it like a fish catches a bug skimming on top of the water, with a big "O" of my mouth and coming up from below, snap! And the huge orb of his glans was mine!
Olaf sank onto my prong like butter melting over a baked potato, running over it on all sides, slowly, warmly, smoothly. Coating my cock with sensual saliva that stroked my cockskin into awakening and congealing into his mouth until it was a firm tower buried deep in his throat.
I worked his dong as best I could from below, I had to raise up from the bed with each stroke, and I did so until I wearied of it, then I grasped him and pulled him down onto me, plunging that turgid man-tower into me, feeling the hot pole pulsing in my mouth and the head bent into my gullet.
Olaf could have left me thus impaled and I would have been helpless, I think, but instead he shifted onto his side and so did I and now we were both in control of ourselves. I was running far behind here, as before, Olaf had my cock throbbing with excitement while I was still trying to put together a smooth rhythm. What I lacked in finesse, though, I made up for in raw desire and speed. I wanted this long tool, I wanted it like I wanted the man attached to it, someone who loved me, who wanted me, who treated me like someone special, hell, I should have crept into Olaf's bed weeks ago! Why had I delayed, why had I held off?
Because the friendship itself was so important to me, I decided. Because I had feared that if I lost it so close upon losing my lover, I couldn't have taken it.
Olaf hadn't been so reticent. I could see now he had begun working on me the first day I had moved in with him. All the kindnesses, all the little thoughtful things, all the ways he had made me feel so important to him. He had put it all on the line here. Gone after what he had wanted, the very moment he learned I had broken up with Todd, he had extended the offer to let me move in with him. Olaf hadn't broken us up in any way, he had simply been ready to catch me as I was falling. Right into his arms.
And now, right into his bed. He had me, now, he had all of me. I never wanted to let this one go! Friend first, now lover. So much better than what I'd tried with Todd, taking the man into my bed and then trying to paste a relationship onto it. Sex is great, but you can't build a life on it. But I had built a life with Olaf, this was just the joy expressing itself, a part of the whole, not the entirety.
I could spend the rest of my life with this guy! A lifetime, like this! I hadn't had that feeling with Todd, despite the years together, there was always that tension, that feeling that I was holding everything together with a slender thread that could break.
Olaf, though, he was steady as a rock! And I had the rock-hard cock in my mouth to prove it!
This let me redouble my efforts on Olaf, and I was pleased to hear his body grunt in response. I was pleasing this big red-haired Norwegian stud, and I could enjoy my own delight more easily, knowing that.
It was like the sparkle of fireflies in the evening. First there's just one or two here and there, but then more and more sparkle, the light the only way you see them, until soon you have a whole galaxy in your own backyard, blinking away. That was how my climax built up within me, out of nowhere, seemingly, but there was more and more and more and it grew until it coalesced into a solid lump of raw pleasure, and my orgasm fell upon me with a crash!
"Uh, guh, uh-ghh-uh!" I mumbled around Olaf's dong. I don't know if he heard me or not, but I wasn't able to say more without letting go, and I wasn't doing that! Not with this hot rod of his promising to blow any moment itself, I wasn't!
So I grunted and that was my only warning to Olaf and he was working away at me when I let a final "uh-HNNNNNHHH!" loose and spurted my jizz into him. He gave a single snort of surprise, then he rose to the task, good, dependable Olaf as always, and he took what I was jetting out with nothing more than the soft sounds of his mouth and lips working as he swallowed my come-load down.
I was working my own mouth upon his prod though in a halfway-haphazard sort of way, too caught up in my climax to do more than that, and as I finished, and was moving while panting hard, Olaf's own groans gave me far more ample warning.
I told my worn body to go a little longer before rest, and I controlled my passion-drained lungs into slowing down and with my body temporarily under my sway, I gave Olaf the best damned sucking I could lay on him, and that was how he reached his peak and with a loud sighing moan, exploded his jizz into me. A hot, salty flood washed into me, and I gulped it down as I could, with Olaf moaning and his body thrashing and his cock spraying the hot wads into me, and I caught it all and with a sort of weak, exhausted feeling of triumph, as he subsided, I stopped and let my oxygen-deprived body once again work on rebuilding its depleted reserves.
Done, the two of us lying in pools of sweat we had made in our lust-ridden gyrations, I suckled him dry and released him, the same as he was doing for me. Like two good friends, we helped each other to our feet and stood beside the sweat-soaked bedding, and we kissed, our bodies forming to each other now, as if built of the same mold and meshing together again after all this time apart.
"We'd better get to bed now." Olaf said to me. "It's nearly ten o'clock."
"It is?" I looked at the clock. "Sheesh, we were there longer than I thought!" Had I really sucked on Olaf an entire hour there? It hadn't felt like that long.
"Will you sleep with me tonight?" Olaf asked me. Not insisting...but asking. "Tonight and every night?"
"I certainly will." I agreed.
Olaf hesitated, then said, "I know you aren't ready yet for anything other than two good friends. I want you to know that. Take your time. Just know that if you want to...I do, too."
"I will." I said. "I promise."
The next day, when I got home from work, I moved my dresser into Olaf's bedroom where it belonged, and my kitchenware went into his kitchen and so on.
"Only one thing left." Olaf said to me. We had finished moving everything, putting it all away into this, our one integrated apartment. "Where do you want to keep this?" He held the figurine of the ballerina in his hand.
"I'll take care of that." I said, taking it from him.
I took it over to the trash and dropped it in, closed the lid. "There." I said. "That takes care of it."
"I thought you wanted to keep it to remind you of Todd." Olaf asked, a bit hesitant to tread these waters, but doing it all the same.
"No need." I said. "Nothing to remember, anymore. What's past is past. Now let's get washed up and get in bed, we both have to work tomorrow." And we both went into his bedroom.
I had moved on.
THE END
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