The Missing Piece of a Piano By: Sean Roberts
Author's Note: All feedback is appreciated. Please send to seanr_13@yahoo.ca
Bar 8
He is now teaching his fourth lesson. Seth's reaction when Daniel tries to teach him another note is not unexpected. "When can I play a song?" A question anybody learning an instrument asks very early on. This is, after all, the goal. To play a song. Otherwise what good are the notes?
"Soon, Seth. But you don't know enough notes."
"Will you play a song then?"
"I don't think so. Now if you move your index finger over- -"
"Come on Daniel!" Seth holds out the instrument to his instructor. "I need a break. Please play something, just so I know how it sounds."
"You know what a violin sounds like."
"Please?" He has the same effect on Daniel as his sister had a few weeks ago. Seth's bright eyes and revealing shorts (Seth plays basketball every Thursday before his lesson) make Daniel agree. Seth stands eagerly and offers Daniel, who takes his seat, the instrument.
Daniel is nervous. He holds the familiar weight of the violin. Teaching and practicing are two very different arts. In his mind he selects a fast Beethoven. He feels that the fast tempo will make the piece finish faster. He swallows and brings the instrument up to his chin. He ensures his posture is perfect, he can not set a bad example for his pupil (though Daniel remembers playing, at one time, lying naked on his stomach on his bed, his head and his violin hanging off the edge, and Keith massaging his back to the rhythm of the music). Without thinking Daniel brings the bow down for a dramatic and rich first note. Seth, who sits in another couch, straightens up, amazed at the intensity of sound that can be obtained from the instrument.
Daniel's eyes close. He plays the piece flawlessly. The vibrations turn into Keith's hands, touching his naked back. Every few moments Keith sneaks in a kiss, anywhere on Daniel's skin. And then, suddenly, the piece ends.
"Daniel! Daniel!" He opens his eyes and sees Seth standing in front of him, leaning forwards, his arm on Daniel's shoulder. "Are you okay?"
"What?" Daniel suddenly feels the tears on his cheeks. Three figures stand in the door way: Mr. Evans, Mrs. Evans, and Faye. The parents are watching him, smiling. Faye is staring at the floor.
"I-I have to go," Daniel says quickly. He pushes past the figures in the door and runs out to his car. The music was too much. He needs to get away from it but does not know where he can go.
He finds himself in the library. He goes straight into the basement. In his mind he tells himself he wants to avoid music but he knows that the basement contains none. It is simply ink on paper. It is silent.
Because he does not look for music he explores the room. And then he sees a dark corner. The shadow makes it look like the two perpendicular walls are cut off; the corner is in absolute darkness. He steps into the triangle of black and he sees nothing. He looks upwards. There is still pure darkness, in a three dimensional triangle, all the way up to the ceiling. He faces forward again and turns around. He almost jumps. Faye is in front of him.
"Are you okay Daniel?" she asks. "You were crying, and then you ran out, and you were supposed to stay for dinner."
"I-I'm sorry. I --" Daniel does not remember crying.
"Play very nicely for someone who doesn't play the violin. I knew that your brother wasn't lying."
"You don't understand Faye--"
"Tell me something I don't know, like what it is that I don't understand." He steps out of the darkness.
"It's none of your business!" he says, louder than he intended.
"Okay."
"What are you doing here anyway? How did you find me?"
"I followed you. I was worried." Her hand touches his arm and she leans forward. She tries again to kiss him and he gives her only his cheek. It has become an automatic response.
"But this is my business Daniel. Why won't you kiss me? And don't give me bullshit that it's not about that. Because you're a guy so it has to be about that, at least part of it. And it's not like I'm trying to get you to do me, it's just a kiss."
"Faye you found me standing in a dark corner. Do you think I'm in the fucking mood to kiss you right now?"
"Fine Daniel. I give up. I really can't do this any more. You get scary angry when your brother mentions that you can play the violin, just now you ran out of my house crying. If you can't tell me what's going on--" Was I crying again? Am I crying right now?
"It's over right?" She looks relieved that he said it. Daniel suddenly wants to vomit.
"How much do you want for Seth's lessons?"
"What?"
"Seth's lessons. You haven't let us pay you. And my parents want to pay you, and I want to pay you. I never pushed it because we were seeing each other and you would have been insulted. But now I have to pay you just because it's right. So how much do you want?"
"Faye!"
"Whether you continue or not you've done four. I think the going rate is twenty an hour? I'll give it to you in school tomorrow. That is if you decide to come and actually stay for class. If it's too little, you can tell me. Good-bye Daniel." She turns to leave. He retreats into the corner and turns around. He knows he looks like a child who has misbehaved, but the senseless feel of the corner calms him. He collapses, leaning his head against the wall. Then he begins to wonder why it is that he can not kiss his girlfriend. Ex girlfriend. Shit.
Seth sits on the chair. Dry sweat has some of his hair stuck to his forehead. Daniel has not stopped teaching him. Faye has made sure to stay away from them.
Seth's posture is wrong again. Daniel goes over to him, lifts his chin and spreads his legs. But this time he does not let go. "Play something," he says to Seth. The boy listens and brings his bow across the instrument as Daniel moves his hand up Seth's leg.
The note ends prematurely. "Good," Daniel says quickly. "Do it again."
"What are you doing Daniel?" Seth says. Daniel's hand is at Seth's thigh, just brushing against the boy's shorts, lightly squeezing the mound of flesh created from the pressure of Seth's leg on the chair. Daniel removes his hand quickly.
"Nothing. I-I'm sorry. That was very good."
"Is this why you broke up with my sister?"
"Huh?"
"Y-you're--"
"What?"
"Gay." Seth says the words softly, as if it is a swear word he does not want his parents to hear him using.
"No Seth, I'm not." Daniel's mind frantically searches for a plausible lie for his behaviour but he cannot find one.
"Oh, good." Daniel looks confused. "'Cause I don't think Faye would be too happy about that." Seth laughs. "Don't worry about it then. If you wanted to go jerk off, you should have just said something." Daniel does not understand what the boy is saying. Seth puts the instrument down.
"Seth what are you talking about?"
"You wanted to jerk off with me right? Don't worry, I do it with my buddies all the time, no big deal."
"Are you serious?" Seth nods. They go up to his bedroom. He brings along the instrument and tells his mother, in the kitchen, that they are going to practice upstairs. Seth locks his door.
"I just got the lock back. My parents got really pissed when they found out that I was--" Seth's voice lowers again. "Smoking pot." Seth pulls off his jersey, revealing a flat, bony body. But Daniel can see his muscles forming; he sees the room for growth that every fifteen year old boy has. Daniel does the same thing. His clothes begin to come off and he sees Seth dropping his shorts, revealing white briefs. Seth is naked. He has sporadic sprouts of pubic hair but otherwise his body is like pure milk. Suddenly he is on his knees in front of Daniel. Seth begins to masturbate as he takes Daniel into his mouth.
"I thought we were going to jerk off," Daniel says. Seth looks up but does not release Daniel. Suddenly the door opens and Faye walks in.
"Shouldn't you two be practicing?" she asks. Daniel looks at her, confused at her reaction. "Well, since you're taking a break, let me do that," she says to Seth. Seth moves away from Daniel and Faye takes his place. She takes Daniel in her hands and moves her mouth closer to his. He can feel her lips touching his even before they meet. But suddenly she pushes him away. "I don't think so," she says. "Not until you tell me what's going on here." She waves a hand towards her brother, who is still naked, now sitting down on the bed. Daniel opens his mouth to speak but she interrupts him. "You're gay aren't you? That's why you won't kiss me?"
"No Faye, I'm not! I want to kiss you, it's just that I'm not ready yet. I-I'm trying to get over someone."
"But it's been two years Daniel! It doesn't take that long to get over someone!"
"Two years? How do you know? Who told you? Was it Mark?"
"Oh no. It wasn't Mark. You told me. When you played the Chopin for me the other day, you told me the entire story. Well Daniel, if you love him so much, why don't you join him?" Her hand reaches behind her back and in it is a violin. It has a dark, fresh varnish. Daniel can smell the wood. He reaches for it.
"Can I play it?" he asks.
"You told me you didn't know how to play the violin," she replies. She lifts it over her head, looking like she is going to bring it down on his head. "Now you can be with him forever!" She brings the violin down, but something grabs her arms. It is Mark, saving the violin for the second time.
"Don't," he says. "Let me take this. Don't wreck a perfectly good violin for nothing."
"He isn't coming back," Faye says, allowing the instrument to be taken away from her. "This is the only way Daniel can see him again."
"Daniel can see him again only by playing the violin," Mark says.
"No," Daniel says.
"Yes!" Mark, Faye and Seth say together. Mark pushes the violin into Daniel's hands and Daniel takes it. He touches it and his hands feel like they are on fire. The three people with him in Seth's bedroom are laughing. And then they are gone. The Chopin is playing; the piece Keith called his favourite, the piece he would play for nobody else.
Keith plays it sitting at his piano. Daniel is sitting on a couch, accompanying with the violin. He holds the instrument, moving the bow across it, creating notes with his other hand. But suddenly, in the middle of the piece, the piano stops. Daniel continues playing.
"What is it?" he asks Keith.
"I'm dying," Keith replies.
"What?"
"I'm dying. I have to go." Keith stands up and walks towards the door. Daniel follows him, pleading with him to come back. Keith turns right and heads toward the foyer. Ashley and Mr. Evans are there. Mrs. Evans is in the kitchen preparing lunch. They are waving at Keith and Daniel is asking him to please not go outside. When Keith is wearing his shoes he opens the front door, stepping outside and walking out to the middle of the street. Daniel knows he should go after his friend but he stays inside the house. It is a sunny day and he can see Keith clearly. Keith turns around, waving. Then, out of nowhere, a car speeds by and Keith is gone.
Daniel is sweating. It is dark all of a sudden. Too dark. He can see absolutely nothing, not even in his mind. He sits, his head leaning against a wall, in a daze from the sleep. His neck is stiff and in his mouth he can taste the lingering flavour of his cigarettes. He is in the library; in the basement with all the quiet music. He realizes that he fell asleep. Daniel steps out of the darkness and looks at his watch. He has been there for about an hour.
He begins to leave when he realizes he has an erection. He can feel the sticky fluid in his shorts that came out from his dream. He waits for a few moments, until the erection dies down, before leaving the library.