The Missing Piece of a Piano By: Sean Roberts
Author's Note: Please send all feedback to seanr_13@yahoo.ca Thanks.
Bar 14
Faye and Seth are both surprised by what he carries when he enters their house. They know what it is and Faye really knows what it is and she can not believe he has brought it.
"I thought we'd try a song today," Daniel says to Seth, "together." He looks at Faye. She smiles and presumes that she is invited. The boys set up their instruments while she makes herself comfortable on the couch, her smile refusing to leave.
Daniel produces two sheets of music from his case. It is a very simple song, one used to teach beginners the violin. Daniel stands and puts his instrument onto his chair. "I just need to go talk to Faye about something," Daniel says. "So practice and we'll try it together when I get back." Faye gets up, surprised, and with him walks out of the room. "Where are your parents?" he whispers into her ear when they are in the hallway.
"In the kitchen." He attacks her lips, pushing her playfully against the back wall. She puts her arms around him, glad for the surprise. "This is what you needed to talk to me about?"
"You just look really good today." He kisses her again, quickly, and they go back to Seth who has not been playing. "How come you haven't started?"
"I forgot how to play these notes." Daniel shows him the fingerings. With his fingers Seth switches back from the first to the second and then back to the first. Daniel watches intently, making sure that Seth presses the strings in the right places. This time not watching the boy's legs.
Now they both have their violins. Daniel counts and they start together. Daniel plays as softly as he can so that he can hear Seth. Every note he plays brings a new song into his mind; a song that he used to play either with or for Keith. But he keeps his focus on the music--on the physical notes on the sheet; on the position of his right hand on the backs of the strings; of the smell of varnished wood coming from his instrument. On Seth's playing.
They finish and Faye applauds them. He tells her that later on he wants to try the Chopin.
The music room, early in the morning, is deserted. Except for Faye and Daniel. Daniel has his own violin--Keith's violin. He sits in his chair beside the piano bench; Faye beside him carefully opening the page of the book. He opens his part on the music stand in front of him. Keith's writing sends a shiver down his spine but he ignores it. He ignores every memory that the visual or audible sounds of the written notes bring to his mind. He ignores every memory that comes about when he smells his violin.
"Play your part first," he says.
"Okay."
She presses down on the keys and plays the piece. He watches her, he listens to her. She has gotten much better. Her hours of practice have not let her down. She can now play the piece with more confidence and more rhythm and with far fewer mistakes. She looks at him, as if for approval, when she is done. But if he gives her either approval or admonishment she will not respond to it. He nods and brings the bow across his violin.
But he does it strongly. He makes the notes ring out all around the room. When he plays he feels the vibrations in his chest. He consciously listens for the melody of the piano and what he's doing to either help it or destroy it. Suddenly his eyes stray from his sheet to her left hand.
It moves amongst the keys with a grace and precision that allow him to block out the sounds her right hand is creating. There is no more melody. There is her background and his background and no foreground and suddenly he stops playing. "Keep going," he says before she can stop.
Still he ignores her right hand. He follows the timings along on his sheet music and suddenly jumps in again. He smiles as they finish the piece together. He understands now why before he couldn't play the piece. He understands why Keith wrote it and why it was Keith's favourite. He understands why tears have suddenly formed in his eyes.
The expression of love, he has discovered twice, does not jump out like roses blooming in the spring. There is always something that accompanies it that makes the warm feelings even stronger. Something painful.
A compact disc of Chopin is playing in Keith's bedroom; the two boys are lying on the bed, kissing. Keith is naked but Daniel isn't. Keith's hand goes inside Daniel's pants. Keith's other hand, the one that plays the background of the pieces he loves, begins to un-do buttons. Daniel's pants and shorts come down and they stop kissing so that Keith can look. But Daniel, quickly, pulls them back up.
"What is it?" Keith asks.
"I-I don't know. It's just that--"
"It's me Daniel," is the reply. "Come on." Daniel allows his pants to come down once again. He is ashamed of his erection even though it is bigger than his friends. The track finishes and the next one begins. The first two notes of Chopin's Nocturne in E Minor play and Keith takes Daniel's hard penis into his hands. Daniel quickly and forcefully pushes his friend away.
"What the--" Keith says, but stops when his friend over powers him. Keith now lies on his back and Daniel kneels over him, pinning him tightly to the bed. The pain is not severe but Keith is being hurt. Daniel's erection does not subside as much as he wishes it would.
"Why did you just do that to me?" Daniel yells. He is confused. He liked the touch but at the same time was un- comfortable with it. Best friends aren't supposed to do those things to each other.
"Daniel you're hurting me. Daniel I'm sorry. I just wanted to--I love you!" Daniel releases Keith immediately. He stares at his wide eyed friend, the words from Keith's mouth arranging themselves like notes from a new piece of music in Daniel's mind. The Nocturne continues. Daniel smiles.
"I-I think I love you too."
A memory that has just come back. Daniel has forgotten the first time they confessed their love; he has forgotten why he has feelings of guilt and joy every time he hears the piece. But the memory has come back. Now he knows.
Chopin's work captured the pain and the beauty of the moment. In his accompaniment for the violin Keith has captured and enhanced the part that conveys love.
Faye touches one of the tears that falls from Daniel's eyes. She catches it on her finger so that it does not run down his cheek. She touches her lips to the tip of her own finger. She wants to capture his pain. He takes her hand and holds it. Faye knows why he is crying. He has lost one love but has just gained another.