Catfish Retires 6 By Bald Hairy Man
This is a story for adult men. It depicts gay sex. If this offends or bothers you, DO NOT READ IT. It is a fantasy and is not a sex manual, or a discussion of safe sex. If you have, comments send them to bldhrymn@yahoo.com or bldhrymn@aol.com.
My plan was to return home to Virginia, but I was needed as a witness for the trial. I could have flown back and returned in a week or month for the trial, but that was expensive. I asked if a simple statement under oath would work, but the thief had an expensive solicitor who insisted I be present in person. He was intimating that I had attacked the thief.
The thief, Nigel Rushing, hadn't seen me, so as far as he was concerned, it was the crutch from nowhere. Apparently, the solicitor had not gone so far as to read the newspaper reports. I knew from my experiences in United States courts, accusing me of being the aggressor is a problem in a jury trial. I am five-four and weigh 120 pounds. I now have only one leg and using crutches makes it hard to claim I am the aggressor. That tends to cause laughter in the jury box.
Having the jury laugh at you is a bad sign. I stayed in Deal's guest house and worked with MacDuff when needed. My use of decoys to attract muggers and pickpockets had worked well, and he was using them with other institutions.
Through the years, I had met a lot of men, but I assumed one chance meeting at a party would be it. There would be no further contact. I was getting old. I didn't think like an old guy, but my body was more realistic. I knew my physical charms hung between my legs. They had some allure, but I was thinking that wasn't enough to make up for the rest of me.
As it turns out, for some gay men, my cock is enough to counteract the rest of me. In England some saw me as a refugee from the Beverly Hillbilly or Petticoat Junction programs. If old sitcoms are bad enough, they live forever in late night television.
There was a change just before I returned to Bath. MacDuff offered Dunstan a full-time job. He told me about it I told him he would be a fool to not take it. I needed a helper, so I offered Lugg a job. He wouldn't leave without Mouse, so both came with me.
That worked out well. Rose, my cook house-keeper was pregnant and expecting twins. She was more than willing to leave. Her husband, Tom, was promoted to be the gardener at the new museum, so Mouse replaced him.
Julian called me and asked if I would mind meeting a friend of his, Bert. He said his friend was a nice guy and good cook. Bert was big, tall, and solid. He didn't fit in many restaurants' kitchen which tended to be cramped. His head was completely shaved the avoid the hair net problem, but he probably should have worn a chest net. He seemed affable and pleasant. Bert was into cooking.
I gave him a job for a trial two weeks. He immediately bonded with Lugg, Mouse, and me.. All three men pitched in when needed. Given his size he was a bit hyperactive, so he would get to the phone or door faster than I could. Bert turned into a sort of butler. Within a week Bert knew every tradesman in town, as well as the postmen. He soon was cooking church dinners for the Anglicans. I assumed he was gay since he knew Julian. It took him a day or two to bond with Lugg and Mouse.
We had one incident at the house, when a man came to the door asking for the owner of the house. Since Bert had worked in restaurant's, he had considerable experience with marginal people. Restaurants have high turnover of personnel. If you are down and out, they are your best chance of quick money. Bert did not like the look of the man at the door.
The man insisted on seeing me, so Bert stopped in the kitchen picked up a meat cleaver, and then returned to the door. Mouse had seen the man and remembered seeing him leaving the library at Wells and went to get Lugg.
Mouse then went to tell me. I called George. The visitor soon had Bert and his meat cleaver in front of him, and Lugg holding an ax behind him. He decided to leave. He ran into the police down the road. They stopped him and had a little chat. The guy unsuccessfully tried to run and had pulled out a gun when he was tackled by a constable.
Bert and Lugg were treated as heroes by the police. It was treated as "local men foil an armed man" situation by the papers. There was no location or names used. Mouse came to me and told me it might be a good time to have a celebration after dinner. I asked if Bert had the same interest in fun as we did. Mouse never enhanced anything. His mother told him to always tell the truth.
"Bert likes to suck and he likes big cocks. I told him about yours," he said. "His is nice." I told him that some after dinner fun might be nice.
We had a fine dinner and I asked Bert if he would like to have a little celebration that evening. He said he would be pleased.
"I don't know if Mouse told you our celebrations are a bit uninhibited," I added. "To tell the truth they couldn't be more uninhibited."
"Mouse told me there was a casual dress code," Bert mentioned.
"Did he tell you it was naked with erections?" I asked.
He laughed. "I don't have a movie stars body," he remarked.
"Don't worry, you have one more leg that I have," I said.
For the first fifteen minutes of the party I didn't get to see much of Bert. I saw his hairy back as he sucked my cock like a child and his first lollypop. Bert hadn't known he like big cocks. My cock was a few sizes bigger than he had seen, and it was big enough to trigger his Size Queen genes. Being sucked for fifteen minutes can be boring, but my cock was a gourmet feast for him.
We switched around and I sucked Bert as Lugg took care of my cock. A little later Mouse sat on my cock as Bert probed my ass. Both Mouse and Bert had nice, but not exceptional cocks. It was great when Bert was pounding my ass as Mouse bounced on my cock.
We ended with my cock in Bert's behind as he sucked Lugg and I sucked Mouse. We didn't quite achieve a triple play orgasm, but it was damn close. Mouse fed me his load, then Lugg fed Bert and I rear loaded Bert. All was well.
After breakfast, the next day I asked Bert if he was okay.
He nodded. "It was good. Did you like it? I said of course I did; everything seemed to fit.
"Blokes have fucked me before. I've never really enjoyed it," he said. "Is there such as thing as a friendly cock? I liked having you in me. It seemed to belong there. You weren't trying to prove anything."
"We all have the same equipment, why not share it and have some fun," I said.
"How often do you guys have parties?" he asked in a low whisper.
"That was the first," I said, "But I'm thinking it probably isn't the last."
Bert smiled.
Later that day, I was thinking that with the bungled bombing in Bath and the screw-up in Wells, the plots had been disrupted. Since our recent visitor was associated with Wells, somehow the persons behind the robbery knew I was working in Bath. I was not mentioned in the news reports of the Wells robbery. I was listed as a public-spirited American tourist.
George noticed that too. The museum bombing and the Wells robbery were linked somehow. This doubled the number of clues. I was thinking that the main objective was Deal's art collection, and the Cathedral robberies were side shows.
Two days later, Count Antonio and Pippa were killed in an automobile accident. That received little coverage and was treated as a tragic accident.
I met with Deal, MacDuff, Miller, and George. "I assume someone is cleaning house," I said.
They agreed. "I think whoever is in charge is getting rid of the amateurs, and is switching to professionals," Miller said. "I also suspect that the buyer, or paymaster is irrational. Getting the paintings must be pure obsession. He must know we are on the hunt."
"I have been thinking about the buyer. We are talking big bucks. I mean really big bucks," Deal said. "I'm thinking we have a reclusive billionaire. Someone who is under the radar. That might be some little-known Islamic sheik, but the attempt to steal the Well's Gospel makes that unlikely, ditto a Russian Oligarch, or a Chinese magnate. Europeans or Americans are the most likely."
"Why would he pick a low life like the Count to do the acquisitions?" I asked.
"Scotland Yard is working on a profile," Miller said. We talked for a long while, but just arrived at additional questions. I went home with a lot to ponder.
All was well at the house, but we had an additional gardener and Rose had a nurse to help with the pregnancy. Both the gardener and the nurse were police constables.
I called Jerome to get Peter's contact information to send my sympathies. We had a long talk. The police were searching Peter's house and office. He was questioned for hours. He didn't know what they were after.
"Pippa's relationships were usually short, but they never quite ended. She always retained some connection," Jerome explained. "She was sex goddess with a cock. Peter was in love with her beauty, not her dick. For your information, he told me he had the best sex in his life with you. He loved the image of the goddess, not Pippa. His relationship with Pippa would have given Freud nightmares."
"Pippa was calculating too. She wanted money from me. Transvestites are my weakness and Pippa loved weaknesses," he continued.
"What was Count Antonio's weakness?" I asked.
"It was a combination of greed and stupidity," he replied. "He could be charming, engaging and amusing, but he longed for the wealth his family lost. His family was never wealthy, they were minor aristocracy. It was his fantasy."
A day later I had a call from Peter. Pippa had been stealing for him. He was bankrupt and all but penniless. The police had ripped his office and home apart. They found secret records and financial deposits. These did not include any information indicating where his personal and business accounts were.
The good news was that the police now knew he wasn't involved in Pippa's scheme. His story was odd, but believable. He also passed a lie detector test. He was penniless was at top of the bad news. An hour later Jerome called. He asked if I could give Peter a place to stay. He needed to get way to find his bearings. I called Deal and George and asked them about it. Much to my surprise that liked the idea. They figured that Peter might know stuff but didn't realized he knew. With my suspicious mind, I might be useful.
Peter arrived the next morning at 10:00. He looked like shit warmed over. He went to bed and woke at six, that afternoon. He said he couldn't eat, but Bert's cooking took care of that. When he was depressed, Peter looked like a mistreated puppy. He was one small step from being effeminate. I saw him glance with interest at Bert. Bert was muscle and testosterone in a fur wrapping.
Once and a while I used sex as a treatment for depression. I laughed to myself. I also used sex to cure hyper-activity, insomnia, sea sickness and earache. Sex solved most of my problems. Bert looked like he could help Peter with some anal therapy.
Peter like to garden so the next day he worked with Mouse and his helper, the undercover policeman. The policeman, Old Gus, was just waiting for retirement, and this counted as undercover work. He was gregarious and talkative. He had Peter telling him his entire life story. Old Gus had been around and didn't bat an eye at Peter's attraction to Pippa. He told him his description of her reminded him of his first wife.
To say my house was overstaffed was an understatement. The garden looked spectacular and the food was excellent. The social life was good too.
Jerome was interviewed by the police. He was helpful since the knew many of Pippa's connections and knew the gossip. In his case the difference between gossip and leads was unclear. He moved in the same social set of the Count and Pippa's friends. When the police investigated some paintings and antiquities of questionable provenance were recovered.
Jerome left the country relocated to an unknown location. He remained in contact with the police, but they relocated him assuming the persons who killed the Count and Pippa would kill him.
Toby was a member of the same social set, but I thought he was a junior member. He contacted Peter. They were friends and Toby came to visit.
George came by to talk with Peter. I was worried that they had found something incriminating about Peter. They had located Peter's money. It was intact and in a separate account in a separate bank. I assumed Pippa had it in a rainy-day account to be used if things went bad. The police would return it to him.
Pippa kept careful accounts. The bank records indicated all the payments had been made to Peter and had his forged endorsement and were deposited in a joint account. Peter knew nothing about the account. There were no withdrawals from the account.
Templeton appeared the next day. Bert had been acting as the butler, and he answered all my calls. Hadn't realized Templeton told Bert I was having my 70th birthday in a few days. They arranged a party. Templeton told Bert my parties tended to be non-conventional. Bert told him he had some unconventional parties. They had been most enjoyable. Templeton asked if the guests had been all male and nude. Bert said yes. Templeton them asked if I had made some new friends in Britain. Bert said I was friendly and open minded.
I realized that my young, whippersnapper days were long past. I had always looked older than my age, but that was not the case anymore. I had always looking like something the cat dragged in. Once and a while I felt like that now.
The guest list included some of the men I had met in England. George, Justin, and Dunstan were invited along with the guys at the house, including Lugg, Mouse, Peter, Bert, and Toby. With Templeton and me that was ten guys.
Bert cooked a spectacular dinner. It was conventional English food with a special twist. He had a knack for adding one or two special ingredients. He also must have been juggler. Everything was served at the perfect temperature.
I think it would hard to find ten more varied men. They were tall, short, heavy, thin, hairy, and smooth. I knew them all and knew a few common traits. They were all gay, over sexed, and uninhibited. Lugg and Mouse had been shy when I met them, but a month with me seemed to cure that problem.
Templeton was handsome affable. He looked like an upper-class man who would be standoffish. I had introduced him to men of more varied backgrounds. I am a good judge of sexual potential in other men.
He knew if I liked a guy, he was okay. Templeton move in elite circles, but he could tell which men might appreciate my non-standard charms. We both knew it takes two to tango, and both give and take.
Shortly after dinner, Templeton announced that the cake would be served later, and he was hoping to sample some English Home brew. A few minutes later, everyone was nude and admiring the genital display. Templeton connected with Lugg and Mouse. Dunstan, Toby, Bert, and I connected. George, Peter, and Justin got close.
In some ways it was as if we had all won the lottery. Lugg and Mouse had never been with a man as handsome as Templeton and were surprised at his sexual generosity. Templeton is a small man but big where it counts. They expected to have him fuck them and walk away. Lugg and Mouse were pleasantly surprised.
I'm not sure George had been with any one as young as Julian in a while. George was the ultimate forbidden fruit for Julian, a copper. I was with a den of bears, all hot to trot.
Everyone was mellow and relaxed after dinner. No one was rushed, but naked gay men somehow find ways to enjoy themselves. I had a suspicion that all of us thought a generous exchange of sperm would be nice.
Justin's cock was soon rubbing George's prostate. A little later George cock was massaging Justin's. They looked contented and mellow. I heard George say, "I sometimes shoot off without warning."
"I don't know if that's a problem or just extra lube," Justin said, adding, "I've never tasted a copper's cum before."
"I am positive that is not a problem. It's an opportunity," George replied. Justin laughed and George made a deep thrust.
Next to them, Lugg was on his back with Templeton in the 69 position. Mouse was sucking Lugg's balls as Templeton sucked the cock. A little later Templeton impaled himself on Lugg's tool as Mouse sucked Templeton's cock. The next time I looked at them Mouse was fucking Templeton as Lugg dozed off after he shoot off. Templeton found out Mouse's real name was Bobby. He also found out Lugg was named Matt. They preferred their real name to the nick names. Templeton told the rest of the men.
My little group essentially played musical chairs, substituting cocks for chairs. That was easy and totally meaningless. That was good for us, but I had a suspicion that sex organs can find meaning and pleasure any time they interact with other sex organs.
I was the only one who knew all of the men, and I thought they would get along. While getting to know a guy can take time, I think sex speeds up the process considerably. For Toby, sex was almost like holy communion. For Bert it was a chance to sample a man's special sauce. Dunstan was used to rough and ready sex. Slower and more intimate sex was a revelation. He had thought of sex as a race to an orgasm. He didn't expect the intense sensation he felt during a slow buildup.
Dunstan sat on Bert's cock. Toby took a seat on my cock. He kissed Dunstan as he bounced on my cock. I had never had my cock used as a marital aid before, but he seemed to get along with Dunstan very well. A little later Dunstan and Toby sixty-nined as I fucked Toby and Bert did Dunstan.
Everyone in the group realized that all of us were as interested in sex as they were. I have known gay men who thought other gay men were too interested in sex. I am not sure if two men like each other they are gay. I do know that two men who like each other and fuck like rabbits are probably gay. The members of our little group had the fucking like rabbits part down solid.
We had a musical chairs interlude. George and Peter joined Bert and me. Bert fucked Peter as I sucked George. Peter and George talked about losing their wives. Peter said that Pippa had been beautiful when he met her on Corsica with the Count at the Count's home Sanssouci. The mansion had been opulent, the skies sunny, and the Count was away most of the time. When he left, Peppa left the Count and left with him.