Okay, so I should have warned you that I was going to actually post a chapter of Mile High Meeting...I didn't mean to shock all of you :) I could tell you all of the things that have prevented me from getting this out sooner, but I am sure many of you are not all that interested in that stuff.
I will just say that I graduated from college a couple months ago, and I am currently looking for a new place to live and work...hopefully that won't take too long, but my schedule will be a bit chaotic for a while longer.
I also wanted to say thank you for those that nominated me for "Up and Coming Author" in the recent Boy Band Awards. Your support is very much appreciated, and hopefully I will be able to thank you all by continuing to write, which I hope I will be able to do more frequently soon.
By the way, in case you didn't know...you aren't supposed to read this if you are not of the proper age, IQ, hair and eye color, and shoe size. It is up to you to determine what those are, in accordance with the laws governing the land in which you live. This is fiction, and is not meant to imply anything about the actual orientation of anyone or anything.
And now...on with the show...
Mile High Meeting-Chapter 23
Emptiness. Emptiness was the first sensation I felt when I woke up the next morning. Never had a bed felt so cold and barren. I shivered slightly, and it had absolutely nothing to do with the temperature. I looked around the room to get my bearings; trying to figure out what room I was in.
I stayed still for a moment before deciding to face the music. I sat up, looking around to find my clothes. I found my shirt, and left my room with a shirt and boxers. I walked back toward my room to find the door open and the bed empty. I let out a sigh, and worried that he may have left, but thought I would look around the house before coming to that conclusion.
I made my way down the stairs, looked in the media room, the family room, and my parents' offices before I peeked in the kitchen to see my mother talking to Nick. They were sitting at the table in the breakfast nook, eating and talking. I leaned against the doorframe with my arms folded, waiting to see if I could hear anything they were saying. I didn't get the chance though, as Mom caught my eye, and told Nick that I was there.
He glanced over at me for a moment before looking out one of the windows in front of him. My mother stood up, rubbed Nick's back for a brief moment, and then walked toward me.
"Don't screw this one up, honey," she said with a sympathetic, yet firm look.
"No pressure, eh Mom?"
She smiled, patted me on the stomach, and walked out of the room. "Good morning," I said sheepishly as I walked over to the kitchen counter so I could see him better.
"Morning," he responded, looking over at me.
"Can we go somewhere and talk?"
"I think that is a good idea."
With that, I walked over to Nick and took his hand. I led him out of the kitchen, and downstairs to the game room so we wouldn't have any distractions. I closed and locked the door behind me as we went down the stairs, and I directed Nick over to the leather couch against the far wall. I then pulled up another chair so I could face him directly.
"Nick, first I want to tell you how sorry I am for brushing off your question about marriage last night. I wasn't thinking, and I apologize for that. I would be lying if I told you I had not thought about marriage, but I just couldn't see how it would happen..."
"I guess that's all there is to say, then," Nick responded, getting emotional once again.
"You didn't let me finish, Nick. I just couldn't see how it would happen until I had a talk with my father last night, and he made me realize that I wasn't thinking clearly when I came to that conclusion. I thought that we couldn't possibly marry because it isn't universally recognized, but I don't care about that anymore. What matters is that it means something to us, and to hell with what anyone else says. I've never let anyone stand in my way when I wanted something before, and I am not going to let this time be different. I guess you could say that I was suffering from temporary insanity," I said with a weak grin.
"Does this mean that you do want to get married?"
"I don't think either of us are ready for that right now, but I want you to know that I will be ready for that down the road, if you will still have me."
Nick couldn't contain himself any longer, and tears began flowing freely. He sat there for a minute before sitting up and drawing me into a hug. A few tears left my eyes as well as the weight had been lifted off both of our shoulders.
"I love you so much, Cam."
"I love you too, sweetheart."
"I was so afraid last night, Cam," Nick said, pulling back to look me in the eyes.
"So was I, Nick. So was I. Why don't we go up to my room, so we can get some sleep? I imagine both of us didn't sleep too well last night."
"I slept like a baby," Nick said.
"You did?"
"Yeah, like my little brother did when he was a baby, waking up every fifteen minutes and crying."
"You are so cute," I said, laughing. He wasn't quite finished crying yet, so I took him back into my arms to comfort him. The silence was getting to be too much, so without even thinking, I began to sing.
"I want to know, whoever told you I was letting go, Of the only joy that I have ever known, Boy, they were lying. Just look around, and all of the people that we used to know, Have just given up, they wanna let it go, But we're still trying. So you should know this love we share, Was never made to die. I'm glad we're on this one-way street, Just you and I, Just you and I.
"I'm never gonna say goodbye, Cause I never want to see you cry, I swore to you my love would remain, And I swear it all over again and I, I'm never gonna treat you bad, Cause I never want to see you sad, I swore to share your joy and your pain, And I'd swear it all over again. All over again...
"Some people say, that everything has got its place in time, Even the day must give way to the night, But I'm not buying. Cause in your eyes, I see a love that burns eternally, And if you see how beautiful you are to me, You'll know I'm not lying. So there'll be times we want to say goodbye, But even if we tried, There are some things in this life won't be denied, Won't be denied...
"I'm never gonna say goodbye, Cause I never want to see you cry, I swore to you my love would remain, And I swear it all over again and I, I'm never gonna treat you bad, Cause I never want to see you sad, I swore to share your joy and your pain, And I'd swear it all over again...
"More I know of you, Is the more I know I love you, And the more that I'm sure, I want you forever and ever more. And the more that you love me, The more that I know... Oh, that I'm never gonna let you go, Gotta let you know that I
"I'm never gonna say goodbye, Cause I never want to see you cry, I swore to you my love would remain, And I swear it all over again and I, I'm never gonna treat you bad, Cause I never want to see you sad, I swore to share your joy and your pain, And I'd swear it all over again, All over again...
"All over again... And I swear it all over again."
"Let's go to bed."
As we walked by my mother's office, I saw her watching us. I just closed my eyes and nodded my head, and she sighed and placed her hand over her heart to indicate her approval and relief. I smiled back at her, and put my hand on Nick's back as we went up to my room.
It was nearly two in the afternoon when we realized we had slept enough. Nick's warm body had never felt so good, but I knew that we shouldn't spend the entire day in bed, as much as I wanted to do so.
"This bed is much more comfortable when fully occupied," Nick whispered in my ear.
"You think this is full capacity? Didn't you read the sign above the headboard that said maximum occupancy was nine?"
Nick started to look up when I pushed him back down onto the bed. "You are a bit on the gullible side, you know. In fact, did you know that gullible is not in the dictionary?"
"Yes, it...damn, you suck Cameron. You almost had me there, you jerk!" Nick said as I broke out laughing.
"Almost had you? You were about to go look, and you know it," I guessed, looking over at him. He looked away and I could detect the slightest amount of blushing.
"I'm sorry, sweetie. I guess you just haven't gotten quite used to me yet. I'm not too worried though. You're a smart young man, and you will catch on."
"Gee, thanks Dad," Nick said with more than a hint of sarcasm.
"Better," I commented. "By the way, I really hated sleeping in a different room, knowing you were under the same roof. Perhaps we should make a pact that no matter what, we won't sleep in separate quarters again?"
"I was thinking the same thing, Cam. I got more rest in the last couple hours than I got all last night. I realized how much I needed you to be next to me."
"I love you, Nicholas."
"I love you too, Cameron."
"I think a few less people are going to love us if we stay in bed all day. We'd better go downstairs to see if we can help out preparations for this evening or tomorrow."
"You're probably right, although I think your parents were perfectly happy to see us not fighting," Nick noted, and I nodded in agreement.
"Oh, by the way, my mother wanted me to ask you if you wanted to attend candlelight services with us tonight? I was supposed to ask you last night, but we were a bit distracted."
"I would absolutely love to go, but I worry about the crowd recognizing me," Nick said with a hint of worry in his voice.
"I wouldn't worry too much. We go to a small country church with a congregation of only a hundred or so. I think we'll be safe," I reassured him as I kissed him lightly on the cheek.
"Cool. I'd be honored to go with your family tonight."
"The honor would be all ours."
Reluctantly, we crawled out of bed to get dressed and head down to the main level. Mom and Dad were both in the kitchen when we made our appearance. Both looked up out of concern, and I gave a faint smile and raised my eyebrows to let them know that all was well. They both immediately rushed over to pull us into a hug.
"Thank God you two have made up. You guys are too perfect together to be apart," my mother exclaimed.
"You really think so?" Nick inquired as the hug ended.
"Cathy has a knack for this sort of thing. She just knows when a relationship will work, and when it won't. She hasn't ever been wrong before, and I happen to be getting the same vibes," my father said to Nick, making Nick smile. "You two are meant to be, no doubt about it."
"You hear that, Cameron? Your parents have spoken, and I happen to agree with them wholeheartedly."
"Who am I to argue with all of you?" I said with a smile.
"Smart boy," Dad laughed. "I knew you were a chip off the old block."
"Ahem," Mom interrupted.
"Yes, dear...your mother had far more to do with it than I. I was just along for the ride, no pun intended."
"On that note, what are the plans for this afternoon?" I asked, trying to ignore my dad.
"Well, I have some baking to do, but that is about it until the service this evening. You guys are free to do whatever you want," Mom told me, and I could tell she wanted Nick and I to spend more time together, just to be sure.
"Well, in that case, I think Cam and I will help you with the baking," Nick offered. I wasn't facing my parents or Nick at the time, so they couldn't see the smile on my face. Nick was being so sweet, and I couldn't help grinning from ear to ear.
"You guys don't have to do that. You're both on vacation, and you shouldn't be slaving away in the kitchen."
"You just settled it, Mom. Why should you two have to slave away in the kitchen while we are out having fun? We can get things done quicker if we all pitch in."
"You two boys are so great. Now I know why I love you," Mom said as she kissed both of us on the cheek. "Let's get to work."
"Just point us in the right direction, Mrs. Walker."
"Just call me Mom, Nick," she responded with a smile and wink.
Now it was Nick's turn to smile widely. I put my arm around him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before we started in. With the four of us working together, it only took us a little over an hour to get everything mixed and ready to go.
It was the simple times like these that made the holidays so great. My family always went overboard for the holidays, a fact that was not lost on Nick. I think he was having more fun than any of us, and I told myself that I would have to ask about his family later, as he really never talked much about them. However, he was fitting in perfectly with my family, which only made me happier. He would joke around with my parents just like I always had, and Mom and Dad couldn't have been more pleased with the way we were all getting along.
As the various pies, cookies, and other desserts were finished, we would place them over on the kitchen table, and eventually we all gathered around to do a little taste testing. I was the first to dive into the cookies, breaking one in half and feeding it to Nick before taking a taste myself. We both agreed that we do good work, and ate a couple more before earning a look from my mother. She 'told' us in no uncertain terms that we were not to have any more, and we sheepishly put the cookies down. While Mom was giving us the look, Dad snitched one of the cookies and started to run in the other room. Mom slapped him on the shoulder as he took off, and while they were distracted, I took another cookie for Nick and I.
"Cameron James Walker, I saw that!" Mother exclaimed as she walked back into the kitchen.
"Sww whmt," I said with my mouth full.
"I rest my case. You two ought to be ashamed of yourselves. I want both of you to march up to your room and get ready for tonight. I don't want to see you until it is time to go," she said as her tone softened.
"Yes, ma'am," I said as I saluted her.
"I'll try to keep him in line, Mom," Nick assured her.
"Yeah, right," Mom responded under her breath.
"I don't think she trusts us," I said to Nick while my mother was still in front of us.
"I can't imagine why she wouldn't trust two males in their 20's that are madly in love with each other."
"Gee, I can't either," I said with more than a hint of sarcasm.
"Just be down here by 7, okay?"
"Deal. See you later, Ma."
"Ma? What is this, Little House on the Prairie? Get out of here," Mom joked.
As ordered, we marched up to my room, and I made it a point to lock the door, as I wasn't going to leave anything to chance. Nick looked over at me and smiled as he acknowledged what I had done.
"You know, you never told me about what happened when you forgot to lock the door a few years ago."
I pretended to ignore him as I walked over to the window to look out. Nick was persistent, and grabbed my arm gently, urging me to turn around so he could look at me. He then smiled and anxiously awaited my answer.
"I was hoping that you had forgotten about that."
"Not likely, Camo."
I sat down at my desk, and swiveled the chair around so I could face him. The story wasn't all that interesting, but it was embarrassing nonetheless. I smiled and shook my head, which just made Nick that much more impatient.
"Well, it happened during my freshman year of college. I was dating a young lady at the time, and she came home with me for Christmas, as her parents were vacationing in Europe. She stayed in my room, and we were sleeping together. Well, one night her and I were studying..."
"Is that what you called it?" Nick joked.
"We actually were studying, for the most part. We did take a few breaks for, extra-curricular activities, though. Anyway, it was late, so I had stripped down to my boxers, and she was wearing a t-shirt and pair of my boxers. We had just finished one of our make-out breaks when one of my light bulbs burnt out, making it too dark to see the textbook. I went out into the hallway closet to get a light bulb, and shut the closet door rather loudly, which was a mistake as it got my parents attention.
"So, I went back into the room and closed the door, and my girlfriend was lying on the bed, watching me as I walked over to the bed. I stepped up onto the bed so I could reach the light fixture, and changed the bulb. I replaced the fixture and threw the old light bulb into the trashcan, breaking the bulb and making more noise.
"I was still standing on the bed with my legs on either side of her when she decided to play a little trick on me by yanking down my boxer shorts. Since we had just been making out, I was 'standing at attention.' Well, I just started laughing, and acting a little crazy when my mom opened the door, with my father right behind."
"You're kidding," Nick said with a look of shock.
"I am definitely not joking. I am standing on my bed, towering over my girlfriend, buck naked and hard as a rock, laughing hysterically."
"Oh, my," Nick said while trying not to laugh. "I thought having one of the guys walk in while I was, well, you know...was bad, but your parents?
No wonder you are screwed up."
"My parents looked at me for about fifteen seconds as I stared back at them in all my glory. Without saying a word, they slowly backed out of my room, and shut the door. Needless to say, I couldn't get an erection for a month. Scared the little guy half to death," I explained as I started chuckling.
Nick couldn't hold it in any longer, and started laughing uncontrollably, to the point where tears were flowing. His laughter was contagious, and my stomach started hurting from laughing so hard. We regained our composure a few minutes later, but not until Nick was on the floor, doubled over.
"So, how did you explain that one to your parents?"
"Well, I put my boxers back on and ran downstairs so they wouldn't have the wrong idea for any longer than was necessary. I found them in the kitchen, having a cup of coffee. They looked up at me with no expression on their faces at all. My father simply looked down at his watch, and said something to the effect of 'that didn't take long.' If I had one shred of dignity left, it was ripped away from me at that moment.
"A simple, 'it wasn't what it looked like' wasn't going to cut it, so I had to explain everything to them, and the story was believable because they heard the closet door and the light bulb shattering, which was why they were coming in the room in the first place. Of course, they too were laughing like I had never seen before by the time I was finished with the story. Thus, the 'No entering without knocking' policy was born."
"So, you were still dating women at the time of this, eh?'
"Guilty as charged. I told you about when one of my ex-girlfriends told me she was engaged, and how that crushed me?" Nick nodded as he remembered our conversation while we were in the Old Market in Omaha.
"That happened a few months after what I just told you. I think I was only kidding myself at that point, but I came to my senses eventually. Now I have a great boyfriend, so all of that stuff doesn't matter."
"This great boyfriend remembers that we have a few hours to kill before the candlelight services, too," Nick said seductively as he approached, sitting down next to me and playing with my hair.
"He does? I didn't tell my boyfriend that. How did Justin find that out when he is probably on tour somewhere?"
"Sweetie, I love you, but if you mention that name again while I am here, you won't have any use for this," he said as he gently grabbed my package.
"Geez, you are sensitive. Nothing like Jus..." I said before putting my hand over my mouth.
Nick chuckled, and pulled my hand down from my face. He leaned in slowly until our lips grazed each other. He put his arms around me, and as our kiss became more passionate, he slowly guided us down to the bed. Once there, he climbed on top of me as we continued to make out. His hands found their way under my shirt, and he began moving his hands up my chest, moving up and down my abs and settling his hands on my pecs. My shirt was now up around my shoulders, and I lifted up so he could remove my shirt. He did so, and threw it onto the floor.
His tongue started exploring my cheek, and he was on a path toward my left ear. I could feel his taste buds as they moved along my skin. He took my ear lobe into his mouth, sucking on it gently, which was driving me absolutely wild. I started moaning, which only made him more determined. He gently slid across me so he could give my other ear the same treatment, stopping for just a moment to service my mouth before moving on. I laughed while he was kissing me as I realized what he was doing, but he was undeterred.
At one point, he jerked back slightly, and I looked at him to see what was wrong.
"Stubble. It's ticklish, but also very sexy," Nick explained.
Just hearing him speak was making me hotter by the moment, and I had an overwhelming desire to see Nick's chest. I began tugging at his shirt, and he immediately got the hint, leaning back and pulling his shirt over his head with both hands, which was another major turn on. It was my turn to explore Nick, and I tried to do just that, but was met with heavy resistance.
"Hmm, not this time Cameron. I want to pleasure you, not the other way around."
He had never said anything sweeter to me in the time I had known him. He was being totally unselfish, and was only concerned about making me feel good. No one I had ever dated had done that before, and I was so taken aback by it that I hardly realized that Nick had pushed me back, and was fondling my Adam's apple with his mouth and tongue. His mouth found its way to my left nipple, and as he gently caressed and sucked it with his tongue, his hands found their way down to my shorts.
Nick gently pushed down on my shorts, exposing my pubic hair, and I felt the waistband against my hardening member. While his lips remained on my nipple, he lifted up on the waistband in order to lower it down to expose my manhood. He managed to get my shorts down to my knees, and as he started working his way down my chest, he pushed them down further towards my ankles, where I kicked them off.
He darted his tongue around my navel, stopping for a moment to look up at me with a devilish grin. I just smiled back at him, and shook my head as I closed my eyes. He moved downward on the bed, and pushed my legs apart before he started kissing my inner thighs. I was breathing heavily by this point, and my moans were becoming much more audible. Had I been thinking clearly, I would have tried to keep the noise down in case my parents walked by, but that was the last thing on my mind at that moment.
He paid special attention to my inner thighs, probably because of the reaction he was getting, but soon he found his way to my testicles. He took one of them into his mouth and gently rolled it around. He took the second testicle into his mouth, as his hot breath sent waves of pleasure throughout my body. After a few minutes of this, his lips found their way to the head of my cock, and his lips parted to reveal his tongue, which he circled gently around the head, causing me to arch my back. As I did this, Nick's hands found their way under me, cupping my buttocks as his mouth began the slow journey downward to the base of my shaft.
I tilted my head back as he worked his way up and down my rod, gently caressing the skin with his tongue and soft lips working their magic. I was breathing heavier and heavier by the moment, and suddenly a thought entered my mind that I never thought I would have.
"Nick?" I panted.
"Hmm?" he responded as he lifted up off of me.
"I want to feel you inside me," I said, sitting up slightly.
"Are you serious?" Nick asked, obviously shocked.
"Don't you want to?"
"Of course I do, but I didn't think you would. Are you sure about this?"
"I've never been more sure of anything, Nick. I want you to be a part of me," I told my lover. I wanted to show Nick that I was as much a part of this relationship as he was, and that I was willing to give Nick something that no one else had ever had, or probably ever would.
Nick looked a bit overwhelmed, but quickly recovered. He was still dressed, so I sat up to help him get undressed. I pushed down his shorts to reveal a raging erection, which didn't surprise me one bit. He threw the shorts aside, and looked down at me as I fell back onto the bed.
"How...how do you want to do this?" Nick asked with a shaky voice.
"I want to look into your eyes, Nick. I want to show you how much I love you," I responded, urging him on.
I reached into my nightstand to pull out a condom and some lubrication, handing it to Nick. He nervously opened the package, rolling it on. I could tell that he was scared to death, and I couldn't quite figure out why.
I looked up at him with a smile, and nodded my head, telling him to proceed.
He gently pushed my legs apart as he moved closer, and I moved them around him. I could feel the head pressing up against me, and soon I felt my muscle start to give way as he found the entrance. I winced in pain as he pressed forward, which startled him.
"It's okay, Nicholas. Keep going."
Almost reluctantly, he pressed forward and I could feel him pushing deeper and deeper inside of me. The pain was still pretty intense, but it was slowly starting to subside. A tear escaped my eye, not only from the pain, but the awareness of what was happening. I was overcome with emotions as the full weight of what was transpiring hit me. I had allowed Nick probe deep within my body and soul, both literally and figuratively. I never thought anyone would ever be able to break down all of my walls, and yet Nick seemed to do it with ease, and without even really knowing what he was doing.
As Nick began to pull out, I smiled slightly as I realized that I loved Nick more every minute. The pain I had been experiencing had completely dissipated by this point, as I tried to relax and enjoy the moment I looked up at Nick, expecting to see lust and desire in his eyes, but only finding love. He was looking down at my body and he was in deep thought, just as I was.
I brought my hands up to his chest as I felt him probe deeper still, lightly massaging his abdomen, getting his attention. He looked down at me and smiled slightly. I leaned upward as he crouched down to meet my lips. His tongue gently grazed my lips as he darted it into my mouth. Our tongues started wrestling, and I soon closed my lips around his tongue, sucking on it as we both moaned.
"I'm getting close," Nick whispered as he continued his rhythm.
He pushed into me a few more times before pulling out and ripping off the condom. He started to pump his rod with his hand, so I took his hand off his dick to do it for him. He threw his head back as the first shot flew over my chest, landing on my sternum. The second shot landed near my neck, and subsequent shots soaked my abs.
"You've been saving up," I joked as Nick fell over onto me.
"We're not quite finished yet," Nick informed me as he moved back down to my still hard member. He took it back into his mouth and I was much more sensitive to his touch. It only took a minute before I reached orgasm, and I unloaded several rounds of my sperm down his throat. He had a hard time taking it all in, but wasn't about to waste a single drop. Once he had milked me dry, he crawled his way up toward me, collapsing on my chest.
"Damn," was all I could muster as I kissed the top of his head. I wrapped my arms around him, and both of us took a well-deserved nap.
I felt Nick's hot breath on my chest as I came out of my sleep. I moved around a bit, and Nick looked up at me. Apparently, he had been awake longer than I, and just didn't want to disturb me.
"Why didn't you wake me? We need to get ready for the service tonight soon," I asked.
"I was watching the clock, Cam. I wasn't going to let us be late."
"Good thing, because I could stay like this for all of eternity," I said as I closed my eyes.
"Oh, no you don't. Get up, boy," Nick said as he got up off the bed.
"Who am I to argue?" I conceded.
"And don't you forget it," Nick added with a wink.
I finally found the strength to get up, and although I was a bit sore, I tried my best not to show it. I saw Nick crack a smile as I walked toward the bathroom, but he remained silent, which was wise on his part. I motioned him in with me, and we showered together. We didn't have time to really enjoy the shower, but being in the shower with him was rewarding in itself.
I wrapped a towel around my waist as I walked over to the mirror to shave and fix my hair. Nick followed suit, and I have to admit that seeing Nick in a towel was very sexy. I used every ounce of energy I had to avoid jumping him right there, but as I looked out at the clock, I knew that would not be possible.
We finished up in the bathroom, moving quickly back into the bedroom to get dressed. We both chose sweaters and dress pants, Nick choosing one that showed just enough of his physique without being too revealing. One last look in the mirror was in order, and once we passed inspection, we went downstairs to find my parents waiting at the bottom of the stairs.
"I was about a half-minute from coming up there to check on you, as much as I really didn't want to," my father noted with a slight smile.
"We were good, Dad. Well, at least in the past hour or so," I had to add.
"More information than we needed to hear, dear," Mom said as she motioned us down the hallway to head out to the garage.
We piled into the Jag, and took off toward the church. It was about ten miles away, and I was particularly fond of the drive through the hills to get there, especially this time of year with the fresh blanket of snow coating the hills and the branches of the trees.
"This is really beautiful," Nick said as he reached for my hand.
"It isn't the only beautiful thing," I whispered back as I gently kissed him. I was careful to break the kiss quickly before it intensified so my parents wouldn't have a reason to give us grief.
We pulled into the driveway, finding a spot easily since we had arrived early. Nick jumped out of the car, walking over to my side to open the door before I even had a chance to reach for the handle.
"You're too kind," I acknowledged.
"Is that really possible?"
"I don't really know, to be honest. Maybe we will find out someday."
Nick glanced over at the church building and a smile returned to his face once again. "I've seen churches like this in photographs and paintings, but I didn't think there actually were any left like this."
The church building was over one hundred years old, but it certainly was not showing its age. It was a small church with four large windows adorning both sides, the top portion of each window consisting of stained glass. Above the front entrance, a small steeple rose towards the sky. I chuckled as I recalled crawling up the steeple as a young boy to get a glimpse of the bell hanging from the top of the structure. I doubted that I would be able to fit through the small door leading up into it anymore.
My father opened one of the double doors to enter, and my mother entered first, followed by Nick and I. An usher that I did not recognize handed me a program, and I led Nick up the aisle to find a seat. We settled on a pew in the back of the church to draw as little attention to ourselves as possible. We sat on the right side, and my eyes were immediately drawn to Nick as he surveyed the church, unable to get the look of awe off his face.
"I can't think of a better place to spend Christmas Eve than here," Nick said as he looked over at me.
"And I cannot think of a person I would rather be with tonight," I returned. I knew it sounded a bit sappy, but this time of year always brought out emotions and feelings I normally kept from view. The truth was that Nick had penetrated my self-imposed shell more than anyone ever had, and yet I was still only showing him the tip of the iceberg. There was so much more I wanted to show him, to share with him, to give him. The biggest problem with showing Nick my core was not only allowing my inner self to be shown, but trying to access those emotions and thoughts in the first place. I knew it would be a difficult journey, but I had a feeling Nick would be more than willing to take it with me, and I could not think of a better guide. I had to admit that I was actually a bit jealous of Nick, as he had a knack for expressing himself freely, and without reservation. I only hoped I could tap him as a resource so I could continue to open up further to him.
The artificial lights in the church were dimmed, and replaced by the gentle burning of candles in all of the windows and around the rest of this house of worship. It was dim enough for me to grasp Nick's hand without being noticed by anyone except my parents. My brother's family had taken their place in the balcony, and could not see us either, so it was more than safe.
The first hymn we sang was Joy to the World, and Nick and I both took harmony as the congregation sang. I looked into Nick's eyes as we sang, and the whole world seemed to fade away. I knew the words by heart, so I didn't need the hymnal, which would have been my last gateway to the 'real world,' so neither of us noticed when the song was over. My mother quickly tapped Nick on the shoulder to bring us back, and we quickly sat down without drawing any excess attention to ourselves.
Before the minister began speaking again, one of the older members of the congregation turned from the pew in front of us, and whispered, "You two sounded like angels sent down from heaven during that song."
Nick didn't say a word, so I put my hand on her shoulder, thanking her for her kind words. Nick glanced over at me, finding me beaming. Making music with Nicholas was a great honor; one I hoped I would have the privilege of repeating every day of our lives.
As was tradition at my church, every member of the congregation held a candle for the last two songs of the evening; a solo performance of O Holy Night, and then everyone singing Silent Night. What Nick did not know is that for the past several years, I had been the one to sing O Holy Night, and this year was to be no exception.
Nick didn't know quite how to react as I stood up to walk to the front, taking my place behind the pulpit. I nodded to the pianist, and I started singing. I was especially inspired that night, and my voice sounded better than it ever had. Perhaps knowing that a world famous musician was in the audience had something to do with it, but the music was flowing through me with more ease than I had ever experienced. It was as if over twenty years of singing had prepared me for this very moment, when I was singing to God, the congregation, and the person with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life.
As I approached the final verse of the song, my heart sank just a bit as I came to the realization of how much I had hurt Nick the night before. Deep down, I knew that I wanted to be with Nick for all time, and yet I brushed him and his emotions off so easily. I knew I had to make it up to him somehow, and yet at the same time I started to worry. What if I hurt him in that way again? I hadn't intended anything of the sort twenty-four hours ago, and yet I still managed to crush him. I looked straight at Nick, and he indeed looked like an angel sent down to heaven, just for me. I didn't know what I had ever done to deserve him, but I wasn't going to let anything stop me from being with him. I comforted myself by realizing that people often get hurt by people that are the closest to them, and yet most of us find a way to overcome. I knew that 'we' were strong enough for that.
I made a decision at that very moment, one that I knew I would look back on for the rest of my life. When I was old and gray, I was sure that I would still remember the moment that I fully committed to Nicholas. In the same moment, I pictured Nick and I sitting in our rocking chairs, holding hands and looking back on this exact point in time. There was no guarantee that we would both be together to enjoy such a thing, but I knew what felt right, and Nick felt right.
I returned to my seat after finishing the song without looking over at Nick, because I had a sneaking suspicion that he was a bit emotional, and I didn't want to fall victim to the same fate. The minister told us all to rise, and we sang the final song. As hard as I tried to maintain my composure, I couldn't keep it all I, and a few tears found their way down my cheeks as emotion overtook me. It wasn't really about the music, although that certainly wasn't helping, but it was the realization that I had found true happiness.
I had always thought that I did not need someone else to be happy; that simply achieving great things in my life would leave me satisfied. After meeting Nick, I found that it wasn't the case at all if there was no one with which to share life and all of its wonder. Who needed a ten bedroom home with an indoor pool, or a brand new exotic automobile when I had found true love?
Before I knew it, the lights had been turned up to full strength, and the service was over. I wanted to get Nick out of there as soon as possible to avoid the crowd, but I was inundated with comments concerning my singing.
Nick stood back and let me bask in the glowing praise being bestowed upon me. I knew that he too was proud of me, and I was proud of myself for even remembering the words considering what was on my mind.
We managed to navigate through the rest of the crowd fairly quickly, and we got back out to the car in short order. Nick and I piled into the back seat, waving at my brother's family as they walked by. They said something about seeing us back at the house, but I was too distracted to think about much of anything. Mom and Dad were still outside the car talking to Andy and Laura, so I took advantage of the time alone, leaning over to Nick to engage in some serious lip locking. I hardly noticed the lights come on in the car, but I did hear my father clearing his throat.
"Careful, boys. You are in public."
He was right of course, so I moved back to my side of the seat and started pouting. "Can we get out of here then?" I asked.
"In a minute, but I don't exactly want to see this either," my dad said with a chuckle.
"We'll try to keep it PG-13," Nick joked back.
"Speak for yourself," I decided to say out loud.
"Don't worry, Richard. I will keep him in line."
"I would give the family fortune to someone that could control Cameron," Dad said with a serious tone. "He's too damn stubborn to let anyone tell him what to do, including his parents."
"That's not true!" I protested. "And there is no way you will be able to convince me otherwise, no matter how hard you try," I had to add.
"See what I mean?" Dad countered as he looked back at Nick.
"I see your point."
Our conversation faded, and the only sound in the car was a Christmas CD quietly escaping through the speakers, and the sound of Nick's breathing as I leaned into him. I did keep things low key, and settled for simply resting my head on Nick's shoulders as he tenderly rubbed my shoulder. I fell into a light sleep, and almost didn't notice the car pulling into the garage. The light coming on in the cabin was the only thing that caught my attention, but I was hoping in vain that I could just stay in that position.
It was not to be, however, as Nick gently woke me up fully, guiding me out of the backseat despite my modest protests.
I heard Andy and Laura pull up outside the garage as we opened the door to the house, and I opened the front doors for them, as they were both carrying slumbering boys. I took Austin from Andy, lying him down on the leather couch in the family room. Nick followed my lead, taking Aaron from Laura. I could see the look of satisfaction as Aaron stirred slightly before laying his head on Nick's shoulder. I knew Nick wouldn't want to lay him down, but after a moment of basking in the glory, he cautiously lowered Aaron down to the other side of the sofa.
The rest of us retired to another part of the house, in front of one of the fireplaces that my father had just lit. Laura took the floor in front of my brother, and he began rubbing her shoulders lovingly. My parents both sat down on the sofa, and Nick and I got comfortable in the loveseat. Nick nuzzled into me, and we sat in silence looking at the flames shooting over the logs. We could see the reflection of the lights from one of the many Christmas trees in the glass encasing the portrait above the hearth. I would have lived in this very moment forever had I been given the chance.
"So, Nick...you're parents don't mind it that you aren't spending the holidays with them?" My mother asked. I am sure all of us had thought about it at some point, but she was the only one with the courage to ask.
"Well, my parents and I haven't gotten along so well recently. It's not like we aren't talking or anything, but I haven't seen a lot of them lately. I have spoken to them, and they know where I am. I am sure we will make amends soon, but I wanted to have a peaceful holiday, and worry about that later," Nick responded, giving us more information than I expected from him.
"So do they know about Cam, and that you are seeing him?" My brother asked, now that the ice had been broken.
"They know I am gay, and before you ask, that is not why we are fighting. They know I am visiting Cameron, and my mom would really like to meet him. I was thinking about asking you to go down there with me over your spring break," Nick said as he turned to face me.
"Sounds good to me, dear," I replied with a kiss on the forehead, which garnered a collective 'aww' from everyone.
"I think I speak for all of us when I say that we are all quite happy to have you joining us for Christmas. God only knows it's about time Cameron was really serious about someone," my dad joked as I gave him a dirty look.
"Some things are worth waiting for," I said quietly, but loud enough that everyone heard. With that, silence overtook the room until I decided to stand up, taking Nick's hand and leading him over to the baby grand. "The night just wouldn't be complete without some carols being sung. It is a family tradition, and you are family, so it's time for your initiation."
Nick didn't hesitate, and could tickle the ivories quite well as he started to play. He sang the first few lines of the Christmas Song, and soon all of us joined in. Not everyone in the family was particularly good at singing, but we did sound pretty good as a whole. Nick continued to play as we sang for close to an hour. My mother had snuck out of the room, bringing snacks and eggnog back with her.
It only seemed like we had been singing and conversing for a short time, but a glance at my watch proved otherwise. It was after midnight, and we all knew that Austin and Aaron would be awake at sun up to open gifts, so my parents and my brother's family decided to call it a night. Nick hesitated a bit, and indicated to me that he wanted to stay up a while longer, so we stayed downstairs by ourselves.
I knew by the look in Nick's eyes that he was up to something, but I wasn't about to question him. I sat back down at the piano, and Nick filled our two glasses with more eggnog, sitting his on the table next to the piano. Without saying another word, he began playing.
I did not know what song he played, but the melody penetrated right through me, reaching right down into my soul. Without singing a single word, he had me eating out of the palm of his hand. I wanted to hear much more, but the song had come to an end. However, he wasn't quite finished yet. He led me into the media room, and with one push of a remote control, the home theatre system powered up, playing "Dance With Me" by Orleans. I must have had my best 'deer in the headlights' look, because Nick laughed and took my hands as he pulled me close to him.
"How did you...?" I started to ask as Nick put his finger to my mouth, and whispered 'shh.'
I leaned into him as we danced in the middle of the room. He had shut the double doors behind us, so we had all the privacy we would ever need. The security light outside lit up the snow, and as I put my head on his shoulder, I saw a few flakes of white twinkling as they fell harmlessly to the earth. The music, the snow, and the room seemed to disappear as we continued, and soon it was as if we were the only two people on the planet.
Nick pulled back slightly to look at me. "Would you like your Christmas present right now?" he asked lovingly.
"Well, it is after midnight..." I responded. Nick smiled and looked down at the floor, acting shy; as if he was almost embarrassed to give me whatever it was that he was about to give to me. He slowly reached his hand into his pocket, pulling out a small box. I tensed up immediately, sensing what it was that he had. It was almost as if he had read my mind back at the church, when I made up my mind that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Was this what my mind and body were telling me that it was?
He handed the box to me, and stepped back so he could more easily study my reaction to his surprise. I slowly opened the box to reveal a stunning diamond ring. There were two rows of four diamonds, and they sparkled in the light coming from outside. I saw that there was an inscription inside the ring, 'You are the words, I am the tune. Play me.' Tears started flowing freely, and I looked up at Nick, seeing that his eyes too were watery. I looked back at the inscription, making a mental note to ask where the saying came from.
"Nick, it is the second most beautiful thing I have ever seen," I said, trying to fight back more tears. "It's a distant second to you, but I don't know what to say."
"Think of it as a sign of our commitment to one another. If it means half as much to you as the watch you gave me, I will be happy. You were right when you said that neither of us is ready to get married, but I wanted to show you where I want this relationship to go. I am just glad I got the chance to give it to you."
It was the last comment that hit me like a bolt of lightning. Suddenly I realized why my words had hit Nick so hard. I took a few steps backward as my heart sank to the floor. Nick hadn't intended to make me feel guilty, but it didn't matter. I felt even worse than I did before, and I didn't think that was possible. Unconsciously, I walked over to one of the windows, staring out at nothing in particular
"Cameron..." Nick started as he walked up behind me. "I've forgiven you, so why can't you do the same for yourself?"
Nick was more perceptive than I gave him credit for, and even that made me feel guilty, although he didn't know that. Nick had read me perfectly, and I wasn't used to it. That thought may have frightened me more than anything. Nick really was getting through to me, and seeing right into my soul.
"I'm not used to that, you know," I commented, wondering if Nick would understand what I was saying. He didn't disappoint.
"You don't like that fact that I could read you? It scares you that you might actually be opening up to me, doesn't it?"
"Not exactly, although you aren't far off. It isn't that I worry about opening up to you. I just worry that I am opening up too much, period. I was thinking about that very thing this evening when I was singing. I decided that I was going to let you see everything, and I still want that. It is just a difficult process for me. I've never given anyone enough of a glimpse into my inner being for fear that it would be used against me."
"Do you think I would use anything against you?" Nick asked.
"I don't worry about you hurting me, Nick, but I worry about hurting you. I did it so easily without even knowing it, and that only makes me want to retreat further so I don't do anything worse to you."
"Let me put this to you gently. Get over it! People hurt people...that's life. I am not nearly as fragile as you think I am, or even as I may have looked last night. I can handle a few bumps and bruises along the way, and so can you. Quit trying to be a perfectionist, and admit that you are human."
"I will do no such thing," I said seriously before cracking a smile.
"Okay, let me try again...I don't expect you to stop being a perfectionist, but will you at least admit that you are human, and that making mistakes is okay?"
I had to think about that one for a minute.
"Well?" Nick asked impatiently.
"I'm thinking," I replied.
"Admit it, or I'm cutting you off until you do," Nick threatened.
"Damn, boy. You do know how to play hardball."
"So?"
"Okay, so I am capable of making mistakes. As long as you are willing to forgive me, and show me how this whole human thing works, I will admit that even I am not perfect."
Nick laughed, and took my hand. "I'm willing to help bring you out of this shell you have put yourself in, because I love what I do know about you, and I want to love all of you. So what are we waiting for?"
I shrugged my shoulders, and Nick took that as a sign to head for bed. Nick must have felt it necessary to teach me a few lessons once we were in bed as well, and I had no idea that education could be that much fun.
"Uncle Cameron! Uncle Nick! Wake up!"
Austin and Aaron had already arrived at the house, and were banging on the door to get our attention. Nick lifted his head high enough off of my chest to look up at me with an 'are you kidding me?' look on his face. I laughed, and nodded. He groaned, and rolled over to his side of the bed.
He covered his head with his pillow, and I decided to bite the bullet by going to the door. I put on a robe before opening the door, bracing myself for the imminent onslaught.
"Merry Christmas! Let's open presents!" Austin practically screamed as they nearly knocked me over. They saw Nick a few seconds later, and suddenly I was no longer interesting. They jumped up on the bed, with Aaron landing on Nick's chest. Thank goodness Nick had the foresight to pull the blanket up over him as to not expose himself, and his usual morning erection.
"You guys are awake, so let's open presents!" Austin reiterated, and Aaron happily agreed. I just laughed as they continued to pester Nick. He finally gave in, and told them that we would get up. I then told them to go back downstairs so we could get ready. They insisted on staying, but I couldn't allow that, so I eventually convinced them that it was in their best interest to go.
Once they were gone, I swiftly locked the door behind them, and Nick breathed a sigh of relief.
"Whew. That was close," Nick observed.
"Well, we do have a lot of nerve keeping them waiting on Christmas morning, do we not?"
"Yeah, you're right. I remember what I was like when I was their age. I was so hyper and anxious that I had my parents up at the crack of dawn so we could get down to business."
"What do you mean, 'were' hyper?" I asked with a serious expression.
"I was actually worse then, as hard as that may be to believe."
"It's very hard to believe," I commented. "Harder than even this!" I teased as I pulled the comforter off of him to expose his rod, which was, not surprisingly, standing at full attention.
Nick blushed with embarrassment, and tried in vain to cover himself. The event quickly turned into a wrestling match, and after a few minutes struggle, he managed to remove my clothing, but I still gained the upper hand, and was soon on top of him, my now erect member touching his.
"This isn't so bad, now is it?" I asked.
"The only bad thing is that we are expected downstairs in a few minutes, and I am horny as hell," Nick responded with a hint of disappointment in his voice.
"I'll make sure that we have time to ourselves later, but for now..." I paused as I stood up, "Duty calls," I said as I pointed to the door. Nick nodded slightly, and headed to the bathroom to freshen up. As soon as he was out, I went into the bathroom to do the same. It wasn't necessary to get fully dressed, so I found a pair of lounge pants for Nick and I, and gave him one of my robes.
We found our way downstairs, and into the living room, where the main tree and all of the presents were located. I snuck out to get some coffee for Nick, and returned a moment later with a steaming cup, placing it under his nose.
"Mmm...now the day can begin. Aren't you going to have any?"
"Remember? I don't drink coffee...I only need to smell the aroma of it to wake me."
At that moment, Mom and Dad found their way down the stairs with my nephews close behind, just in case they tried to retreat back to their room.
"They got to you too, eh?" Nick asked.
"Resistance is futile," my father joked as he ruffled Aaron's hair.
Within minutes, a mess had been made of the living room, with wrapping paper flying everywhere. The adults were much more reserved, but Aaron and Austin weren't exactly concerned with decorum. A half hour later, they still hadn't torn through all of the packages, and it became clear that they were quite spoiled. Nick had bought them a Playstation 2 with several games, and I had bought them several gifts as well. I knew I too had gone overboard, but I recalled when I was their age, and my parents were struggling, and could not afford all the gifts they wanted to buy. Therefore I felt I almost owed it to them to spend money on them. It was probably faulty logic, but I didn't think it would cause any permanent damage.
I hadn't even started giving Nick his gifts from me when the phone rang. My father walked over to the phone, and a moment later announced that the call was for Nick. I was immediately concerned, as I didn't even know that Nick had given anyone the number. Nick too had a confused look on his face, but went over to take the call nonetheless.
Nick was still on the phone a minute later, and by the look on his face, he wasn't being told anything uplifting. I started to get up off the sofa, but he shook his head and put up his index finger, telling me to wait.
He hung up the phone a moment later, and came back over to me.
"Can I talk to you alone for a minute?" Nick asked quietly.
"Of course. Dad?"
"My office is fine, guys," Dad said, knowing what I was asking.
Nick led me into the office, and shut the door once I was in the room. He walked over to the window, looking out at the snow for a moment before turning around. When he did face me, I could see that his eyes were watery.
"I have to leave, Cameron."
"Why?" I asked, clearly surprised. "Is everything okay?" I asked, instantly scolding myself, as he wouldn't be leaving if everything were indeed okay.
"I'm not really allowed to say, but it has to do with the band. I wish I could tell you more, but I can't do that until I get permission to do so," Nick responded shakily.
I noticed that he said 'until,' not 'unless,' which gave me confidence that he would indeed get permission to tell me.
"I really wish I could say, but all I really can tell you is that I need to go, and that I need you to trust me. I will not leave unless I know that you aren't upset, and that I have your permission to go," Nick continued.
"I can't really say that I am not upset Nicholas, but I am not upset with you, and you don't need permission from me to leave if you need to. If you insist, I want you to go if you are needed. Just know that I am here if you need me, and I can be at your side in a heartbeat if you want it. I wish I knew what was wrong so I could help more, but I am behind you no matter what, and that is a promise."
"Thank you, Cameron. That means a whole lot to me. I am relieved to know that you will be behind me, because sometimes it feels like nothing is permanent these days. I need to know that I have one rock to cling onto."
"My little Nicholas is all grown up. I am proud of you for being so responsible and caring," I said as I reached my hand to his cheek.
"Some of us need to be responsible," Nick said under his breath.
"What was that?"
"Oh, nothing. I need to call the airport to get a flight out."
"Sweetie, I will take care of it so you can pack. Where do you need to go?"
"Orlando," Nick answered flatly.
"Okay. Let's go tell everyone the bad news, and then you go pack. You know I love you, right?"
"I have picked up on a couple of hints that might lead me to believe that," Nick said with a faint smile.
"How's this for a hint?" I asked as I leaned into him, kissing him firmly, but lovingly.
"I might be getting the big picture here," Nick said after he caught his breath.
Nick and I walked back out to the group, and announced the bad news to everyone. They were all clearly concerned, and wanted to know why Nick had to leave so abruptly. Nick did not know exactly how to respond, so I simply assured them that it was necessary, even though I didn't even know why he had to leave. While Nick was upset, he didn't seem all that surprised, so I wondered it this is something he had almost been anticipating.
Then it dawned on me that this emergency might have been the reason Nick was so adamant about my commitment to him. Perhaps this was only the first of many troubles, and he needed to know that I would be there for him to lean on. I knew that all of this was purely speculative, so I decided not to spend any more time thinking about it until I knew. I suddenly realized that the next few days were going to be awfully lonely without him, and without the rest of the group being here. They were supposed to visit between Christmas and the New Year holiday, but that wasn't going to happen.
Nick went upstairs, and I asked my parents to help find a flight home for Nick. They were glad to help, and we went to work in my mother's office. A few phone calls were made, and soon we had a flight for Nick. He would soon learn that the jet he was to fly on belonged to my parents, but he needn't know that information now. I thanked my parents profusely for allowing him to take the plane, and they told me that they wouldn't have it any other way. My mom then placed a call for a car to pick Nick up to take him to the airfield.
I ran upstairs to help Nick, only to find that he was packed and about to carry his things down the stairs.
"I hope that you don't mind, but I packed a couple of your things so I have something of yours close to me."
I smiled, and gave Nick a peck on the cheek as my answer. I took one of his suitcases and went down the stairs. Everyone was waiting in the foyer for Nick, and all had sad looks on their faces, especially Austin and Aaron.
"Now who will play Playstation with us?" Aaron asked innocently.
"I'm sure Uncle Cameron will play, and I will come visit soon so we can play, okay?" Nick asked. Both nodded their heads in agreement, and soon Nick was inundated with hugs from everyone from Andy and Laura to my parents, and of course, the two boys.
By the time everyone said their goodbyes, the limo had arrived.
"Do you want me to see you off?" I asked.
"That's okay, Camo. I've disrupted Christmas enough."
I was about to argue that he was no disruption at all, but I saw the look of concern and hurt in his eyes, and decided against it.
"I can come with you to Florida, you know. Everyone will understand."
"I need to go down by myself for now, until things settle down. I will call you tonight to let you know how things are going. I want you with me, but we'll have to put that on hold for now."
I wasn't going to press the issue, so I left it at that. I couldn't allow myself to be upset or hurt because I knew Nick needed me to be strong for him. "You mean everything to me, Nick...just remember that."
"I know, Cam. I know."
"I love you with all of my heart, Nick. I will see you soon."
"I love you too, Cameron. I'll keep you informed." With that, Nick and I embraced, and I could feel Nick shaking. That alone told me that something was seriously wrong, and as I closed the door after Nick got in the car, I got an eerie feeling that this was only the beginning of the problems for the Backstreet Boys.
Needless to say, I didn't enjoy the rest of the day. I walked back into the house in silence, ignoring the looks of concern on the faces of everyone. I fell down into the sofa, slumping down and pouting a bit. It was only then that my parents noticed the ring on my finger.
"That is absolutely stunning, Cameron. It is so beautiful!" My mother exclaimed.
"Not nearly as beautiful as the person who gave it to me, Mom." With that, a few tears slid down my cheek. I hadn't even been given the chance to give Nick his gifts from me. However, the best gift I could give Nick was to stand beside him no matter what, as I had a feeling things were going to get worse before they got better. I was soon to find out how accurate I was...
Well, that's it for Chapter 23...I don't have a lot else to add, but I will say thanks again for sticking with me. I wish I could say that my schedule has normalized, and that I can write more regularly, but I cannot yet make that promise...hopefully soon. Please send e-mail to let me know what you think, and to let me know that you are still with me! LOL
Thanks for reading!
PS-The song in this chapter is "Swear it Again" by Westlife. I also apologize in advance for any errors in the story...it's been a long time since I have posted, so I may have been a bit overanxious, and may have missed some problems...