Author's Note:
Well, Happy Pride everyone! :o) I know it's been a while since I last posted an installment. So forgive the long delay. As usual, I've been extremely busy with life lately. Anyway, here it is at long last, MC13: "Sky Fits Heaven." Enjoy!
As always, no installment would be completed without my musical recommendation. And there are so many great songs to suggest, but I'll limit them to the following four:
Madonna/ "Sky fits heaven" (Calderone future mix); Lasgo/ "Something" (Jimmy Goldschmitz remix or the radio edit); Perpetuous Dreamer/ "The sound of goodbye" (radio edit); and finally one of my favorite songs in the world by Darren Hayes, called "Insatiable." I utterly love the beautiful lyrics of this awesome song:
"Insatiable"
When moonlight that crawls along the street/ Chasing away the summer heat Footsteps outside somewhere below/ The world revolves I let it go We build our church above this street/ We practice love between these sheets The candy sweetness scent of you/ It bathes my skin/ I'm stained by you And all I have to do is hold you/ There's a racing in my heart I am barely touching you Turn the lights down low/ Take it off/ Let me show/ My love for you Insatiable/ Turn me on/ Never stop/ Wanna taste every drop My love for you/ Insatiable The moonlight plays upon your skin/ A kiss that lingers takes me in I fall asleep inside of you/ There are no words/ There's only truth Breathe in Breathe out/ There is no sound We move together up and down/ We levitate our bodies soar Our feet don't even touch the floor/ And nobody knows you like I do 'Cause the world doesn't understand/ But I grow stronger in your hands Turn the lights down low/ Take it off/ Let me show/ My love for you Insatiable/ Turn me on/ Never stop/ Wanna taste every drop/ My love for you/ Insatiable Turn the lights down low/ Take it off/ Let me show/ My love for you Insatiable/ Turn me on/ Never stop/ Wanna taste every drop/ My love for you Insatiable We never sleep we're always holdin' hands/ Kissin' for hours talkin' makin' plans I feel like a better man/ Just being in the same room We never sleep there's just so much to do/ Too much to say Can't close my eyes when I'm with you/ Insatiable the way I'm loving you Turn the lights down low/ Take it off/ Let me show My love for you/ Insatiable/ Turn me on/ Never stop Wanna taste every drop/ My love for you/ Insatiable Turn the lights down low/ Take it off/ Let me show/ My love for you Insatiable/ Turn me on/ Never stop/ Wanna taste every drop My love for you/ Insatiable
Written Darren Hayes & Walter Afanasieff
Disclaimer and Legal Stuff:
The following story deals with male-to-male relationship and gay erotica. If this offends you or is illegal in your location and/or you are under the age of consent in your jurisdiction to read such materials, then you should exit this page now. This statement releases the author of the story and the site wherein this story is posted from any legal action or liability.
All rights reserved by author. This series is not to be reproduced, distributed, altered, or posted elsewhere without the expressed consent and written permission from the author. Copyright 2002.
Michael and Chance 13:
"Sky Fits Heaven"
by
Michael T. Freeman
6/30/02
Previously:
A distraught Chance jolted abruptly up from bed in complete bewilderment, not knowing exactly where he was or what day it was. He sat there for a few seconds as his mind struggled desperately to regain consciousness and cognizance of reality. He checked his digital watch and realized that he has slept for nearly 2 days. As the events of the last few days rushed back to his consciousness like a bullet train, tears welled up in his eyes as it slowly dawned on him that he was just dreaming, that beloved Michael was in the hospital in a coma.
Suddenly the phone rang, snapping Chance out his trance. He looked at the phone with sudden apprehension, terrified of who may be on the other end of the line and the news it may bring!
"Channnce!"
Ring. Chance stared at the phone, petrified, as sweat trickled down the side of his face. A chill ran down his back. The phone rang again. The sound echoed nauseatingly in his head. His heart pounded loudly as he felt his stomach churned with apprehension. He gasped for air as the phone rang once again. Yet, Chance didn't move a muscle. He didn't want to talk to anyone right now. But more accurately, he too was terrified to. After four rings the answer machine picked up, "Hey, this is Chance. You know the drill. Beep."
"Chance, are you there, pick up," Stacy shouted into the phone. "Michael just woke up; he came out of his coma!"
Chance leaped excitedly for the phone. "Hello..hello, Stacccy..." Chance blurted into the receiver as tears of joy streamed down his face.
"Chance, Michael just woke up!" Stacy repeated. "Get your butt down here right now," she demanded.
"Yeah, of course, I'll be right...."Chance stopped in mid-sentence as it suddenly dawned on him that Michael's parents will undoubtedly be at the hospital and that they probably won't let him see his love. And even worse, he feared that Michael may not want to have anything to do with him after what happened.
"Chance, are you still there? Stacy asked after a long pause. "What's wrong?"
"Um...I..ah...I..don't think it's a good idea for me to come to the hospital right now Stacy as much as I want to. Mr. and Mrs. Chandler probably would not want me to be there." Chance sighed. "And I....I don't think Michael would want anything to do with me after what I said to him," Chance mumbled as he fought back the tears.
"Chance listen to me, you were the first person he asked for when he came out of the coma," Stacy retorted, trying to console Chance. "In fact, he cried out your name as he came out of the coma. So get your butt down here now and stop the self-pity!"
"Okay, I'll be right there." Chance gave in. "Thanks a lot, Stacy. I'll see you soon. Bye."
Chance leaped out of bed with a renewal spirit and excitement and exited for the bathroom.
Dade was already in the bathroom, shaving.
Chance came from behind and gave Dade a big bear hug as he momentarily lifted him off the ground.
"Woh!" Dade chuckled as Chance let him down, surprised by his buddy's chirpiness. "Well, good morning." Dade smiled.
"Good morning!" Chance smiled radiantly as he gave Dade a quick peck on the cheek.
"What's that for?" a pleasantly surprised Dade inquired.
"For being such an awesome friend. For being there for me, the other night," Chance replied and broke into a big grin, "And because Michael just woke up!!!" Chance blurted out excitedly.
"What?" Dade exclaimed in disbelief. "That's great, Chance!" Dade hugged his buddy.
"Yeah." Chance grinned uncontrollably.
"Wow, that's awesome. Who told you?"
"Michael's friend, Stacy, just called and told me."
"That's so great!".
"Yeah, I can't wait to see him," Chance exclaimed excitedly. Chance smelled himself and laughed as he stripped down and hopped into the shower. "But first I need to take a shower. I smell horribly."
"Uhm, do you want a lift?" Dade asked as he continued with his shaving.
"Yeah, that would be great!" Chance shouted over the shower as he lathered up.
Chance quickly bathed and got dressed. Dade was in the living, propping himself comfortably on the sofa while munching on his morning cereal. He smiled with a mouthful when he saw Chance entering the living room and standing so handsomely before him with a big goofy grin on his face like a little kid ready to be taken to the toy store. Dade put down his bowl of cereal on the coffee table, stood up and looked at Chance straight in the eyes and abruptly wacked him on the back of the head with the palm of his hand.
"Ounchh!!!" Chance cried as he rubbed the back of his head. "What the hell did you do that for?" Chance asked with a bit of irritation and shock in his voice.
Dade grinned and suddenly embraced a bewildered Chance. "For scaring the fuck out of me the other night. For pulling that stupid stunt on the balcony!" Dade replied matter-of-factly. "And because I...ah..," Dade suddenly trailed off and paused. "Because I love you, Chance," Dade thought to himself.
"Because you what, Dade?" Chance looked searchingly into Dade's warm brown eyes.
"Because I...ah..I wouldn't know what to do without you!" Dade stammered a hesitant response, and sweetly smiled, doing his best to conceal his deep affection for his buddy. "And if you ever decide to dangle from the 10th floor again, I'm going to let you hang there, you hear me!" Dade remarked jokingly, trying to change the topic and lighten the mood.
Chance chuckled lightly. "You got it. And I'm really sorry to have put you through that. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm really sorry, Dade," Chance said sincerely and then slowly cupped Dade's face, leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. Chance slowly back away and smiled. "You're the best, Dade. I love you, buddy."
"I...ah.. I love you too, Chance." a stunned Dade replied as he hugged his buddy, but he knew that Chance only meant it in a friendly way. Nevertheless, it was nice to hear those words from his best friend he thought to himself.
My head throbbed like crazy, and I have the biggest headache in the world. Everything was a blur. I tried to focus my eyes, but I can't seem to. I was seeing double. Fuck, what's wrong with my eyes. I started to panic as a bright light shone into my eyes. I tried to squint, but I couldn't. Something was propping my eyes open.
What's going on? I'm so disoriented. There seems to be a flurry of activity around me---blurry silhouette of movement, zit-zagging back and forth, and distorting sound. The sound soon became more audible and comprehensible.
"Michael, can you hear me?" I heard a masculine voice asking me. "I'm Dr. Baird. You've been in a car accident, and you're in a hospital. Are you understanding what I'm saying?"
Still a bit bewildered, I nodded wearily as I became more aware of my surrounding. I slowly scanned my environment, but I felt restricted; it appeared that I have a neck brace on. Nevertheless, I tried my best to make out the people in the room, but they were a blur to me. There seemed to be a doctor to my right and a nurse to my left side.
"Good. Is your sight okay?" the doctor asked.
I shook my head. "No, everything seems blurry. I think I'm seeing double," I mumbled hoarsely.
"It's okay, Michael. You have sustained a blow to the front of your head so it's reasonable that you are seeing double," the doctor replied.
"Will it go away?" I asked as I began to panic.
"Most likely. You should be fine," the doctor assured me. Yet I didn't feel so sure. In fact, I was terrified. Plus, my head hurt like hell. I lightly touched my head, and it appeared to be bandaged up.
"Does your head hurt?" the doctor asked me.
"Yeah, a lot."
"We'll give you more pain killer for that." The doctor smiled at me.
I strained a smile, but it hurt to do so. Apparently, I have a few cuts on my face.
"Thank God, you woke up, son." I heard the familiar voice of my dad.
"Yes, thank God, you're alright." I heard my mom interjected. "We were so worried about you."
"Mom, dad?" I uttered as I squinted my eyes to make out their faces. Yet, I could only see blurry, double images of them as they moved to the side of my bed.
"Yeah, it's us, Michael," my mom replied as she kissed me on my forehead.
"I'll leave you all alone. I'll be back later to check up on you, Michael," the doctor informed me before exiting.
I nodded as my parents thanked him.
"God, we were worried sick about you, son," my dad said as he grabbed my hand.
"I'm sorry, dad."
"Shh, there's nothing to be sorry about. We just glad you woke up and are okay."
"How long have I been out?" I asked, still in a haze.
"For a couple of days now," my mom replied.
I looked around the room. There seemed to be flowers everywhere.
"God, I've never seem so many flowers in my life," I joked.
My parents cracked a laugh. "They're from us, your brother and sister, and your friends."
"Are Catherine and Eric here too?"
"No, they just stepped out to grab a bite. I just called and took them the good news so they're on their way back here," my mom informed me.
"Are my friends here?" I asked. "Is Chance here?"
"Well, they were earlier, but Stacy is here. She just went to call Chance to let him know that you've just woken up," my dad replied and paused. "Ahm, we hope that's alright since you called out his name when you woke up, and we assumed that you want to see him."
"Ahm, yeah, dad, that's fine," I replied. "Is he on his way here?"
"Yeah, we assume so."
"Good," I replied hoarsely. My throat felt so dry. I need water badly. "Can I get some cold water, mom?"
"Of course, honey," my mom replied as she poured me a glass of cold water from a water pitcher nearby.
I drank the water hungrily. God, the water tasted heavenly. I have never been so thirsty in my life.
"Son, do you remember what happened to you?" my dad asked earnestly.
"Hum, you mean the accident?"
"Yeah, the police report stated that your car crashed into a telephone pole and there were skid marks."
"Hum," I paused momentarily, trying desperately to remember what happened. The memory of the that rainy night finally surfaced.
"It was raining hard, and I was driving fast..." I temporarily closed my eyes to recall the incident. "And as I turned a bent, a dog ran in front of my car, causing me to veer of the road and crashed into the telephone pole."
"Thank God you are okay now," my mom squeezed my hand as I heard Stacy entered the room and called out my name.
"Michael, I'm so glad you woke up. You scared the heck out of me." Stacy gently embraced me.
"Hey, Stace," I uttered.
"I'm so glad you're alright."
"Yeah, me too." I cracked a small smile. "Were you able to reach Chance?"
"Yeah, he's on his way."
"Let go get something to eat in the cafeteria, Jacklyn, and leave these two alone for a bit," my dad suggested to my mom.
"Yeah, we both can use some nourishment," my mom concurred. "Honey, we'll see you in a little a bit. Do you need anything before we go?"
"No mom, I'm fine. Thanks."
About half an hour later, Chance and Dade arrived.
Chance immediately greeted me with a big smile, kiss, and embrace.
"Ouuch.," I groaned as Chance hugged me tightly, pressing against some of my bruises..
"Oh, I'm so sorry, angel," Chance quickly released me from his embrace and apologized profusely.
"It's okay, Chance," I reassured him as I grabbed for his hand.
"God, I was worried sick about you. If anything would have happened to you I would die." Chance started to tear up.
"It's okay, Chance. I'm fine now, okay. Please don't cry." I tried to consoled him.
Chance nodded and quickly wiped away his tears and leaned down slowly and gently kissed me.
I reciprocated hungrily. His soft lips tasted so sweet. It seemed like forever since I last touched him.
Seeing how much Michael and Chance deeply care and love each other, Dade and Stacy realized that they truly belong together, and they didn't want to get in the way of that. And whatever feelings they have for their respective object of affection, Dade and Stacy resolved in their minds to do their best to let go of these feelings. Dade and Stacy silently excused themselves from the room, giving Michael and Chance more privacy.
"They truly love each other, don't they?" Dade mumbled to Stacy.
Stacy nodded. "Yeah, I guessed they really do."
"Yeah," Dade uttered as they both sighed.
We finally broke from our passionate kiss. Chance looked earnestly into my eyes.
"I'm so sorry, Michael?" Chance started to apologize.
"For what?" I asked in puzzlement. It took me a few seconds to realize what he was talking about. My head hurt so much, and I'm so drugged up that I can hardly think and remember straight.
"For everything that I said. For not trusting you," Chance continued. "You won't have driven off mad if it wasn't for me and got into an accident. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry, Michael." Tears trickled down Chance's face.
"Chance, please, it's okay." I replied automatically. "I'm fine, now."
Chance and I talked for a little bit before Stacy and Dade came back into the room. Dade came up and greeted me. I was pleasantly surprised to see Dade here so I gladly reciprocated his greeting and thanked him for coming.
"I need to make a quick run to the men's room, I'll be right back," Chance announced.
"Sure, I'll be right here." I smiled.
Chance dashed out of the room.
Just ask Chance rounded the corner, he ran into Michael's mom. Chance's heart nearly stopped at the sight of Michael's mom since he was not sure if his presence was welcomed. Both stopped in their tracks and momentarily stared at each other without exchanging a word.
Chance finally broke the awkward silence. "Ms. Chandler, I...ah..," Chance stuttered, "I'm..ah.. just here to visit Michael. I hope it's okay. I'll be on my way soon."
"Yes, of course it's okay, Chance." Michael's mom cracked a pleasant smile. "Chance, I want to apologize for everything that I said to you the other day. I was extremely angry and upset at the time, and I said a lot of stuff that I did not mean. I'm truly sorry for that. It was very wrong of me."
"It's okay. I understand," Chance replied, a bit relieved.
"Thank you for being so understanding."
Chance smiled sweetly.
"Ah, I hope you're not leaving. I'm sure Michael want very much to see you."
"Ah, no, I'm not leaving. I just saw Michael, and I'm just going to the men's room."
"Oh, okay, I won't keep you then. I'll see you back in the room."
"Okay." Chance smiled and continued on his way.
Catherine and Eric soon arrived. They greeted me with warm hugs and kisses and expressed how happy and relieved they are that I have woken up. It was nice seeing their faces again. Visiting hours were soon over and everyone reluctantly left. My parents wanted to stay, but I adamantly insisted they go back to their hotel to get some rest. With some resistence, they finally agreed. With everyone gone, my weary body quickly succumbed to sleep.
"So did you fuck her too, Michael?" His glassy eyes flared at me. "So did you fuck her too, Michael?"continued to echo in my head.
"FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, Bastard!!!" I fired back.
My heart pounded fiercely as I stormed madly out of my apartment. The harsh rain pounded down on me as I stood in the parking lot, totally dazed and wet. I can't seem to be able to breathe. My chest fell heavy and my throat dry. I was completely bewildered, emotionally overwhelmed. I can feel the anger starting to build within me. I need to get away from here. I quickly got into my car and drove madly away. I turned a corner. A black dog ran in front of my car. I panicked and veered to the right. The telephone pole. Cracked!
"Ah!" I cried as I jolted abruptly up from bed, panting heavily. I wiped away the sweat from my face as I gradually composed myself. I felt emotionally charged. It was just a dream I thought to myself. But it quickly dawned on me that it was more than just a dream, but memories of past events. I laid in bed awake for a while as images and memories of the last few days replayed back in mind the outing with Stacy, the argument with Chance, the car accident; they all came flooding back with a vengeance, in particular, the argument with Chance. His stingy words, "So did you fuck her too, Michael?" kept reverberating in the back of my mind. And the more, I thought about what he said and what happened, the more angry I became that he would accused me of such a thing, and above all, that he didn't trust me. That hurt the most. I laid awake for a little longer before I dozed back to sleep.
I woke up to the greeting of Charlene, one of the nurses that was assigned to me.
"Good morning, sugar," Charlene greeted me with a slight noticeable southern accent as she opened up the blinds. "Time for your medicine, darling."
I slowly opened my eyes to the singular sight of a heavy set, African-American woman in an aqua- colored nurse uniform. Much to my relief, my vision was normal again. I was no longer seeing double. It's amazing how we take things for granted until we almost lose them or no longer have them. God, I promised never to take my sight for granted ever again.
"Charlene, my vision is back to normal," I exclaimed excitedly.
"That's wonderful, sugar," she replied as she handed me my pills.
"I will let the doctor know. He will be stopping by in about half an hour to check up on you," Charlene informed me. "Is there anything you need right now, honey?"
"No, I'm fine, thank you," I replied.
A little later, my family arrived to visit me. They were elated to hear that my vision was back to normal. Dr. Baird came to check up on me a bit after my family arrived. He informed me that he wants me to stay in the hospital for a few more days to make sure everything is okay prior to my discharge. Chance arrived shortly after Dr. Baird's departure. My family quickly excused themselves to give Chance and I some privacy.
"Hi, angel." Chance smiled beamingly and presented to me with a bouquet of flowers.
"Thanks, Chance, they're beautiful." I smiled appreciatively as he leaned in to kiss me.
We talked for a little bit. Actually, Chance did most of the talking. I simply nodded a lot as I listened to him talk. I wasn't in a very talkative mood. In fact, a part of me felt a bit resistant to talking, and it's the strangest feeling since this is the first time that I actually felt this way around Chance. I can't really explain it. I guess a part of me is still mad at him for not trusting me, but yet, I still love him. So here I am with these two contradictory feelings--love and anger--churning inside of me, creating these mixed feelings, and I'm doing my best to reconcile them because I don't want to be angry at the very person I love so much. After talking for a little while, Chance stopped abruptly and looked searchingly into my eyes.
"Michael, is there something wrong," Chance asked with concerns. "You seem a bit distant and not very talkative today ."
I looked briefly away before meeting his deep, sky blue eyes.
"Sorry, I guess I am," I said matter-of-factly.
"Did I said something wrong?"
"No, it's just that I've been thinking and remembering our argument prior to the accident and..." I began to explain, but Chance quickly interjected.
"God, I am so, so sorry about that, Michael," Chance apologized earnestly. "I really am, and I hate myself for it." He sighed deeply and briefly looked away. I could see that he was tearing up.
I gently squeezed his hand as I slowly wiped away his tears and guided his face back to mine and looked deeply into his teary blue eyes.
"Chance, I know you are," I said softly. "But I need to acknowledge what I'm feeling inside, and that is of anger and hurt due to your accusation and distrust of me."
Chance broke into tears again and so did I.
I know deep inside that Chance is truly and sincerely sorry for what he did. But at the same time, I can't help but feel very hurt by his accusation and distrust. I realized that by acknowledging my anger and hurt to Chance, it may hurt him. But I need to be honest with myself and him by acknowledging what I'm feeling because if I don't, and I bottled up this hurt and anger inside me, they will fester and be a detriment to our relationship in the long run. It simply would not be good for me or him in the long term. And I don't want to harbor any unconscious resentment or anger towards him. So I need to get these feelings of my chest, despite the repercussion of doing so.
We both sobbed for a little before Chance spoke up.
"I am so sorry, Michael, from the bottom of my heart. I really don't know what else to say or do," Chance mumbled in desperation. "I'll continue to say it until the end of time if that's what you need to hear.
"I know you are, Chance," I looked gravely into his watery azure eyes. "And no, you don't need to apologize again. Please know that I'm not saying these things to try to hurt you. It just that I need to acknowledge to myself and you how I'm truly feeling. And I'm sorry that you are hurt by it in the process. I would never intentionally hurt you ever."
"I know." Chance nodded as tears continued to trickle down our faces.
We soon dried our tears and sat together, holding hands, in silence for a bit before my family came back. My family warmly greeted him. They exchanged some pleasantries before Chance kissed me and excused himself, stating that he will be back later to see me.
I'm so glad to be released from the hospital today. My family came early this morning to help me prepare for my discharge. My parents suggested that I come home with them so they can look after me while I recuperate; but I strongly declined since I really didn't want to trouble them. Plus, I really wanted be alone right now, to think and sort out my feelings about everything that has happened, and I can't do it with them around, including Chance. Chance appeared devastated when I expressed my desire to get away for a while to sort things out. I could see the hurt in his eyes when I told that I would be staying at my Uncle Ted's cabin for a few days. It pained me to see that he's hurt, but I knew that this was something that I have to do, that I needed some time a part from him to do it. My parents were adamantly against my going to the cabin by myself in my condition, so I compromised and asked Eric to come with me, which seemed to ease their minds a bit, but appeared to deeply hurt Chance when I told him. God, I felt like such an asshole for doing this to him, but it's something that I needed to do, and I must do it. I tried to reassure him that everything will be okay. But he didn't seem to believe me. And I guess I can't blame him because, to be honest, I'm not too sure myself. I guess that's life.
To be continued.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this installment. There are much more to come, so I hope you'll stay tuned.
As always, I welcome your comments, suggestions, and constructive criticisms. Let me know what you think of the story. They can be sent to mf900@yahoo.com