MEMORY by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2008 written on December 6, 1992 translated by the author English text kindly revised by Baruch
USUAL DISCLAIMER
"MEMORY" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.
Nine - Moves and counter-moves
The couple had been living together for three months. Nicola went back to his parents' home several times to pick up some of his things. In each case, he found his parents not really hostile but remarkably cold. It was his partner's love which gave him fortitude despite the rejection by his folks.
One day while Gilberto was at work and his partner studied at home, preparing for a test, the door bell rang. Without asking himself whom it could be, Nicola replied, finding Sylvia in front of him.
"Gilberto is at the bank, isn't he?" the woman asked.
"Yes..."
"And, you are his new... plaything?"
"I can't see how this concerns you!" Nicola answered, trying not to react in an impolite way.
"It does, yes, pretty boy! Be assured I won't step aside so easily or deceive yourselves into believing you can get free of me by ignoring my existence!"
"Sorry, however I'm not interested in anything you say. I am busy, now. Good bye." Nicola answered attempting to shut the door.
But Silvia prevented him by placing her foot in the entrance. "Now, pretty boy, you have no choice but to listen!"
"Please go away without making any more fuss, or I'll be forced to call the police! This isn't your home."
"Ha, Ha, getting angry are we? You imagine you hold the upper hand, because you gave up your booty? You must heed of me, my beauty!"
"Absolutely not! Anything you need to say, I advise you write to Gilberto!"
"No! I plan to meet him at his work, however I wanted to see you first."
"I already told you I have nothing to discuss with you and even less to hear from you."
"Well, if you won't, perhaps your neighbours shall!"
"If you want to hold an assembly here on the landing, do so. In the mean time, either remove your leg, or I'll be forced to do it myself!" Nicola determinedly said.
Complying, the woman retorted, "You will soon get my answer, my little one!"
"The only thing I care to find out is you ended up buried six feet under in some cemetery!" Nicola retorted, slamming the door shut.
Hearing the woman's footsteps go down the stairs, he instantly phoned his partner telling him what happened. His mate agreed with his handling of the situation and told him not to worry. He also mentioned he would drive to Novara to consult with a lawyer friend, who in the past dealt with his personal affairs.
As soon as the Nicola hung up, the director called Rodolfo, his advocate, asking if they could meet that day. The man agreed to convene at his office. So, Gilberto departed, before Silvia reached him.
Arriving, he described the situation to Rodolfo. The lawyer listened attentively, at times jotting down notes.
"Well, my buddy... first of all let me say I am somewhat surprised hearing you are gay, I never suspected it. This revelation neither affects our professional relationship, nor, more importantly, our friendship. Being in England on business, I heard nothing about you car accident. I' m glad you fully recovered. Concerning the woman... I wouldn't have thought that of her...
"Anyway, addressing the problem at hand, the first thing to say is she has no legal standing since both you and Nicola are consenting adults as was Angelo. In Italy there isn't any law punishing a homosexual affair between two of age males...
"She might try to socially ostracize you by spreading the news amongst your acquaintances, with your neighbours and in your working place... But, aside from the fact in our days people appear more tolerant than in earlier times, if she attempts to act, she could only succeed by your yielding to her demands. Moreover, her overtures are blackmail which, with documentation, are solid evidence against her."
His client nodded, before stating, "I want to avoid problems at all costs for my lover's piece of mind. His family reacted badly when he told them..."
"That leaves the woman one less card to play..." Rodolfo observed.
"That' s so... therefore, I thought I might pre-empt her by outing myself at work... what's your opinion?"
"Yes, this might blunt her weapon... however you must first determine how your colleagues, and even more important, your bosses, react... You, for sure, cannot be fired because of your sexuality, nevertheless you understand very well they might make your life impossible in many ways, both your fellow employees and supervisors."
"If this happens, I shall leave with Nicola. I have sufficient funds for us both to live on..."
"I advise you make it your last course of action, don' t you agree?"
"Yes... so, what's your proposal?"
"To serve a legal notice on Silvia, warning her to avoid any contact with you both and desist spreading slanderous remarks..."
"In your opinion, would it deter her?"
"Often, however not always. Another option is for you to meet her at your home. Let her talk while you record all her threats and demands. The record gives an iron clad way to report her for attempted blackmail..."
"No, sincerely, I want to avoid all further contact... I considered to... to be on the safe side going to talk with our bank president... Don' t you reckon it's a good idea?"
"Certainly, yes. The more you put your cards on the table, the less you have to hide, which leaves her with fewer choices with which to harm you... Are you familiar enough with your chairman to anticipate his reaction? He might be a puritanical bigot, a fundamentalist Christian or something similar. If so, you automatically make an enemy of him..."
"I heard he is, above all, a pragmatist... It's my gut feeling his one concern is the bottom line, that is... to make money."
"He might fear the consequences of the news of your sexuality becoming public. The result of leaving you in your position could make him lose a portion of your clientele... Did you consider the possibility?"
"We are nowadays in the twentieth century, do you believe people continue to react in such an... irrational way? Clients would withdraw their savings from our bank simply because of the director's homosexuality?"
"No, however the important thing is HE not think so... Ignoring that, tell me, how are your relations with your present colleagues and those here in Novara?"
"Good, especially since I've recovered my memory. While they may not love me, I feel they respect me."
"So, start by opening up to some of them, without mentioning your problems with Silvia. Also, keep away from expressing an explicit declaration... Simply begin chatting so they may conclude Nicola is your partner... should the fact come out, quietly admit your gayness... Anyway, meanwhile, I plan to serve your ex the aforementioned legal notice."
Agreeing, the man returned home. He told his lover about the advise he received and urged him not to worry.
The day after, at work, Gilberto was in his office thinking how to break his news to his staff and colleagues, when the vice-director asked to speak with him for a moment concerning a private matter.
"Of course, Matteoli, take a seat. What does it concern?"
"It involvesa rather sensitivesituation, Ferri, about which we must resolve... It concerns Gilardi..."
"Our cashier? What is the problem? He seems to be a good employee, isn' t he? He worked here for the last twenty years..."
"Yes... Nothing professionally, but... with his colleagues a circumstance developed, so to speak... a bit volatile if not plainly tricky..."
"Really? I wasn' t aware!"
"Of course, in front of you they dare not make comments, nevertheless... It seems the man likes other males not females... Thus, some of his colleagues are verbally abusive, letting drop snide remarks and nasty jokes... So the poor fellow is becoming increasing ill-tempered, surly, tense, causing the atmosphere in the office to degenerate..."
"I see. I agree, Matteoli, I think we must act. What do you propose?"
"Well, perhaps... suggest he requests a transfer to another branch, or anyway move him elsewhere..."
"That's a bad idea! You see he lives here with his sick mother who depends entirely on him... How could he care for her should he be forced to work far away? Plus, they own their apartment... No! Anyway, I agree with you, we need to strike before the situation deteriorates any further. Well, first of all, tell him to report to me now. Then, this evening at five we shall meet with the entire staff."
"How do you plan to resolve the matter?"
"Let me try, you will see everything return to normal!" Gilberto smilingly replied, as he realized this problem arose at an opportune moment.
Shortly after, the cashier knocked at his door.
"Come in!"
"Doctor Ferri, you called me?" the man asked, entering the room.
The director noted a concerned expression on the man's tension filled face.
"Have a seat, Gilardi. I've heard some problems arose between your colleagues and yourself..."
"Problems..." the clerk groaned before continuing, "You see, Sir,I always try to carry out my duties in the best possible way..."
"I agree. You remain a valuable employee of this bank, always serious, prepared, committed. I think nobody can complain about you. But, at any work place some tensions may arise... The private life of a colleague should not concern anybody else, unless it affects fellow employees. Yet, at times, people act nosy... prying into matters which aren't their business... sadly, they gladly amuse themselves at the expense of another person's misfortunes..."
"So, may I presume you, too, heard some rumours..."
"Yes, Gilardi, however whether they may be true or false..."
"Factual, Dr Ferri... they are true... I am gay. Yet, I never did a thing..."
" I was telling you, and I repeat, what happens behind closed doors, providing it doesn' t violate any law or harm anybody, is no one else's concern..."
"I thank you for these kind words, Director, nevertheless unhappily, it seems in this institution not everyone shares your opinion..."
"In other words, they make your life miserable. I perfectly understand you. Therefore, I intend to act so the negative attitudes toward you ceases. We mustn't allow the mean spirit of others to intimidate us! Further, we need to stamp out their bigoted behavior in the work place. Our private life, especially when related to sex, remains no one's business but our own and our partners. I needed to tell you this, Gilardi."
"Thank you, Sir. You are an open-minded person..."
"I try to be. I called a meeting for this afternoon at five to address this matter. You may act as you feel best. If you want to attend, stay, otherwise I authorise you to leave at quarter to five. Anyway you decide, is fine with me."
"If I may, Sir... I prefer not to attend..."
"Alright. I want to tell you one more thing. From now on, any incident arising from this matter, must be reported to me!"
"Director, I don' t feel like coming to cry on your shoulder for any small problem nor report a colleague for annoying me..."
"I appreciate what you say, but remember I respect you, I want you to work in peace."
At the allotted time, all the bank staff congregated in the meeting room. Gilberto immediately addressed the problem.
"I received word some of you issued complaints against Gilardi. I' m amazed, he is a first class accountant."
"He knows his job..." one of the workers said.
"All of you agree?" Gilberto asked.
"Yes, Sir, he has much experience, and he is the senior in service here." a lady cashier answered.
"So, what complaints exist against him about his behavior? He mistreats our clients? Or, he acts improperly with any of you?"
"Well, no... he is always very nice..."
"Therefore, these comments are of no consequence with respect to his work." Gilberto said.
"No, not at all..."
"Very well. However, I became aware of a rumour indicating Gilardi is homosexual. Did anyone hear about it?"
"Yes, Director, half of the village knows." one of the workers remarked, smiling faintly.
"Did he make... sexual advances to any of you?" Gilberto asked.
"No, not at all!" several responded.
"Does he use... obscene language?"
"Never."
"So, where is the problem?"
"Well, Dr Ferri, the presence o fa gay guy amongst us is... how may I say..." a male staff member began.
"You have no clue? Perhaps you fear it's infectious, you might become a queer?" Gilberto asked, ironically.
"Come on, Ferri, stop pretending you don' t understand..." the vice-director proclaimed.
"Understand? Understand, what? His orientation, mine, yours, Matteoli's, or someone else's..." he inquired pointing to some of the staff, "If we chose to discriminate with one group what of gypsies, Jews, faggots, black men and so on. Should we banish, despise them, perhaps return to Nazism... to Hitler's times? I live with a man named Nicola, I think some of you wish to understand our behavior, how our relationship works. Others may wonder, am I correct? What did you think? We play music, discuss literature or fuck? Well, do you want to know about us? Are we lovers, friends, or something else? Should there exists an interest, just ask me, but none of you may speak ill of us behind our backs.
"Only mean, unintelligent, narrow-minded, uncivilized and despicable people resort to off-color remarks and spiteful jokes, because they believe, or assume, how an individual lives, or copulates, differently. This holds for me, Gilardi or any other person. I want one thing to be clear - no one who disrespects Gilardi or anybody else in this bank, will keep their job.
"One of you suggested I move him to another branch, however I won't. Instead, I shall replace the complainant if his request is inappropriate. Remember, my orientation remains none of your business. Nobody asks you what pleasures you in bed nor has the right to judge you, provided its between consenting adults.
"Thank heaven, we aren't in the time of the Inquisition but in a civilized land which contains no laws regarding the sexual preferences of its citizens. I respect Gilardi for the quality of his work, the care he provides his aged infirm mother and for his honest, respectful and kind personality. Those who disagree with my opinion of him, must be... pitied.
"I hope I made myself clear. Anyway, in case some of you appear troubled working in the same room or branch with a gay individual, you only need ask to be moved. I shall attempt my best to accommodate your request."
Standing, Gilberto waited. One after the other of the staff left in silence, until only the vice-director remained.
"Ah, Matteoli, as I mentioned at the employee meeting, not only am I a faggot but live with a boyfriend, with Nicola. If this amuses you, inform the others. Should it trouble you, advise the president and the administration counsel..."
"No! I' m sorry, Ferri, I wasn't aware... had no idea or desire to offend you, believe me... It' s simply the situation which arose..."
"You haven't, I hope the atmosphere around our harassed clerk with your effort will improve!"
"Yes, indeed, of course..."
"Will you please close, to day? I want to go home to my man." smiled Gilberto, putting on his overcoat, after which he went out.
Arriving at his condo, he told everything to Nicola, who embraced him before declaring, "You did well!"
"Do you regret I told my vice-director about us?"
"No, absolutely not, on the contrary, we agreed to become visible, right? Anyway, do you know what I was thinking? Tomorrow, I intend coming out to the faculty and, at least, with those of my mates whom I trust."
"Very good!"
"Don' t you feel... emancipated not hiding it anymore?" Nicola asked.
"No, I always felt free. The problem, in my opinion, is closeting oneself. After all, how many of the important things in life stay secret? We need to feel free to disclose or not, relate or chose to remain mute, what concerns us, be it a small or an important thing. At this moment it' s useful to reveal it."
"I agree. However, the fact I hid it for so long... fearing others..."
"You might also be right dreading the reaction of some people, as, for instance, your parents... But, you told them when you felt you needed to, and you did well." Gilberto remarked, pecking him on the cheek.
When Nicola came out with some of his school buddies, for the most part no one reacted. It appeared as if he stated he bought a new stereo set or he ate a good pizza... Very few behaved in an unusual or unpleasant manner.
Meanwhile, before receiving the lawyer's writ, Sylvia decided to send a series of unsigned messages to Nicola' s parents, To Gilberto' s bank president, the vice-director of his branch, the village mayor, the parish priest and whomever else she recalled.
Subsequently, Gilberto received a summons to Novara by the head of his financial institution.
"Doctor Ferri, how are you?" the president welcomed him with an affable expression.
"Fine, thank you. And, yourself?"
"I can' t complain... Listen, I asked you to come here because of this unsigned note..." the chief officer said giving him the missive.
Glancing through it, he at once realized what it was.
Before he could react, his boss continued, "It seems whomever wrote this note sent copies around... in fact, I already received pressure from the mayor and by the parish priest of the village of the branch you direct, and various other sources to rectify the situation..."
"Sir..."
"No, Dr Ferri, let me go on. I normally don' t take into consideration anonymous letters. It is easy, far too facile to make undisclosed accusations. It is easy, way too easy throwing the stone and hiding the hand. Evidently, somebody intends hurting you. At the same time, it seems not everybody shares my attitude... You understand, on the one hand, I wish to ignore these allegations, but, on the other, I am unable to take the risk of harming the branch you direct... Therefore, I decided... however, first, please indicate who's responsible for this problem..."
"Mr President, let me tell you a long story..."
"Use all the time you need."
Gilberto narrated the tale, covering the problem he faced with Silvia, her brother, the cause of his car accident, how he recovered his memory, his present relationship and the attempts of Silvia to blackmail him.
After which, the chairman concluded, "Therefore, in your opinion, all the anonymous letters originated from that... Silvia Taccone."
"I am absolutely sure... even though I haven't any proof except for her word."
"Doctor Ferri, first of all let me thank you for being so explicit, clear with me concerning this situation even before knowing my decision. You see, Sir, I carried out a short inquiry... both regarding the period you worked here in Novara and your present charge... I must say, professionally, I only received positive responses. Not only with respect to your technical skills but also your relations with employees, colleagues and superiors. In your entire record there are no stains, only top rate performance.
"About your... sexuality, your vice-director told me how you took your position with respect to one of your employees who was in a similar predicament... You acted with firmness, balance, or to mention... courage, I have to admit. And, it won' t have less courage than you...
"But, as I said, I can't ignore the pressure I receive by the... bigwigs of the village where you work. While on one side, I care about the employees and managers of our Savings Bank, on the other, I must guard the good name and success of our institution, plus its branches.
"Therefore, I propose the following to you - the director of our primary branch here in Novara a few days ago resigned, effective the last day of this month, since he received a very good offer from the Banca d' Italia... Provided you accept, I intend to name you his replacement. This action removes you from your present position, which placates the mayor and the parish priest, while, at the same time ,you get a back door promotion, rewarding you for your value and competence.
"Moreover, coming to live here in Novara... with your partner, if you so desire, provides a greater shelter from such attacks... You well know the bigger the city, the more the personal choices one enjoys and the greater the freedom... What's your opinion?"
"Sir, your proposal is generous as well as tempting. I thank you for not condemning me for my personal lifestyle. You are an open-minded person."
"No, Dr Ferri, I am a man who respects facts. You see, should my butcher sell good meat at a honest price, what he does with his wife, mistresses, or whomever he beds, women or men... simply is of no concern to me. Further, even if he broke the law, it wouldn't stop me from patronizing his shop, its not up to me to judge him... In other words, you are a vendor selling a good product at a fair price, nothing more, nothing less."
"Anyway, I thank you..."
"Can you provide me a suggested person to take your place? As you know, we replace branch directors internally."
"While working at Office Number Three here in Novara, Dr Rinaldini impressed me, both on a professional and personal level..."
"Very good, I will include him on the list. So, we agree, starting on the first of next month you shall officially be appointed to head Novara Branch One. Best wishes, Dr Ferri."
"Thank you, Sir!"
Returning home, Gilberto, at once, told Nicola the news.
"Good, so it backfired on the bitch!" Nicola said. "However, she, too, lives there, right? It doesn't bother you?"
"Absolutely not! But, will you move with me?"
"Of course, anywhere! Moreover, it's closer to the university. When shall we depart?"
"First of all, we need to look for an apartment downtown, not far from my work. Upon finding one, we relocate!"
CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 10
In my home page I've put some more of my stories. If someone wants to read them, the URL is
http://andrejkoymasky.com
If you want to send me feed-back, or desire to help revising my English translations, so that I can put on-line more of my stories in English please e-mail at
andrej@andrejkoymasky.com