MEMORY by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2008 written on December 6, 1992 translated by the author English text kindly revised by Baruch
USUAL DISCLAIMER
"MEMORY" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.
Eight - As a vanishing fog
"Do you remember everything?" Nicola anxiously asked holding his breath.
"Yes." Gilberto wearily answered.
After which, he brought up Angelo, confirming the account told to his friend by C四ine, while adding details about the escape of his ex to Belgium.
"And. are you still in love with him? Is it still painful for you?" Nicola asked in a thin voice.
" Painful? Absolutely not, no! Loving him, neither! I deeply pity the poor boy! He denied his sexuality, turned on me and refused our emotions! And, yet, he started it! We both were gay novices. I, on the other hand, accepted my nature with open arms, but he wasn't able to. He suffered bouts of remorse, fear, shame.
"Then, add that Silvia! She filled her brother with more guilt, sin, anxiety, not to mention pitilessly crushing him. Worse. In addition, she still wanted me... not out of love, no!
"When I reproached her for her heartless destruction of her sibling and of my love, she laughed, she scornfully mocked me. You needed to see, hear her. She had a venomous, cold, disdainful chortle. And, she assured me I would marry her anyway. She said 'I don't give a shit if you run after boys to fuck them or corrupted minors. I will be happy to give you my sibling's address, after our nuptials, as soon as you sign over all your properties to me!'
"I retorted that I would never marry her if she were the last creature on earth, I told her she was disgusting! In addition, I said I maintained no further interest in her Bro. However, she remained calm, and, in fact, brazenly threatened 'You must comply otherwise the community will find out you corrupted my poor Angelo, a weak mixed-up sad soul. How you snuck into our home by subterfuge, claiming to court me, while, in reality, you stalked the kid. Be assured, the betrayed disheartened sister is far more convincing. I intend to annihilate you even worst than what I did to him through loss of esteem, respect and also your work, everything!'."
"Oh, what a fucking whore !" Nicola exclaimed.
"Our language should contain a more damning expression than that!" Gilberto bitterly said, then resumed, "I boiled, as you can well imagine. Not so much because of her threats, even though she could destroy me, but since she duped me for three years to such an extent I nearly betrothed her. Leaving, I returned home very distraught! I couldn't think straight. I instinctively felt like running away, to find a refuge, which I did. I drove with abandon, stepping on the gas. so at that bend. you know the rest, my love!" Gilberto concluded, caressing him.
After a short silence, Nicola asked, "How do you feel, now?"
"Okay. We are embracing. The crash brought you!"
"Are you really well?"
"Ecstatic!"
"And, Silvia? She had the chutzpah to show up again."
"My amnesia came in handy for her, didn't it? The caring sweet little thing running to help her fianc仔. Fortunately, he missed the mark. Something, I couldn't fathom at the time, instinctively urged me to reject her advances."
"What if she tries, again."
"Let her!"
"If she becomes aware of us, she might attempt a renewed blackmail threat!"
"I won't fall into her trap, I'm not scared. Our relationship is sacred, strong, beautiful, pure. It's better nobody dare threaten it!"
"Is this why you asked me those questions?"
"Yes, my sweet! Are you ready to fight at my side?"
"Of course, with all of my heart... to my last breath!"
"Anyway, who says she will reappear, and I believe she has no inkling about us. Besides, I don't give a shit!"
They grew silent, for a long time.
Then, Gilberto resumed, "When we return to our village, please move in, share my home, love, projects, hopes, difficulties, in short my life, fulltime not simply for a few hours a day!"
"I feel the same, mu Love! I want to come live with you!"
"But. what about your parents?"
"I'm an adult, they must accept me as such!"
"They could raise objections."
"Yes, it's possible, however I am not afraid, I have no doubts."
"Would you be prepared toﾉ to break with them?"
"I hope I needn't, however, if necessary, yes! You are number one, two and three in my universe!"
"It might be hard."
"Together we can overcome any obstacle, Gilberto!"
"Residing in the same village with them."
"Only temporarily. Are you up to it?"
"Of course, my dear Nicola... indeed!"
They talked all night. Gilberto mentioned his parents, his father died two years after he graduated from university and his mother eight before. There were only some distant relatives, with whom he never interacted. Next, he discussed his first girlfriend, at twenty-four, and a few more prior to Silvia.
"I fucked two, one being the bitch. I enjoyed sex. but I never experienced such beauty or connectivity our relationship gives me. In the past, I remained clueless concerning my gayness, I had no real mates, so never fooled around with another guy. Moreover, personality, rather than physical attractiveness, drew me to the individual. I never initiated sex in any of my relationships. I didn't even think of it. Besides, with you, as you know...
"For instance, C四ine made no attempts to sleep with me, and I felt no desire to get in her bed. And, yet, if she suggested, with her great presence I would have agreed! So, Antonella first, next the bitch, followed by Angelo. He took the first steps, and I reacted, since it pleased me."
"On the other hand, with meﾉ in spite of myself, I desired you from the visit in the hospital. I believed you made the initial move!"
"Yes, as I felt... I wanted, loved, needed youﾉ and, the result, a complete, perfect union!"
"Didn't you ever suspect I eyed you?"
"No, never. That first night, the other day, when I saw your body uncovered, almost naked, something awakened in me. I instantly lusted after you... you aroused me! I wasn't able to resist touching, caressing you."
"Happily!" Nicola exclaimed curling up against him to better feel his man's body.
"Yes, happily! When I fondled you in your sleep, your body answered... I felt even more drawn. However, I tried to deny it by futilely telling myself 'He likes girls, what are you doing, silly man!'. Then, you opened your eyes, and the rest is history!"
"Did you feel embarrassment, fear?"
"Absolutely not! I knew you were my friend, a real, sincere buddy. I reckoned, at worst, you might ask me to stop, without it adversely affecting our relationship... therefore I went on."
"Happily!" Nicola commented in a low voice, "otherwise, I may have thought it only a momentary weakness on your part and never encourage you to continue."
"And, yet, you... you pined after me for months."
"Yes, but also because of your mind, not simply your body! Before our first time, you never indicated you wanted me. When you said I'm handsome , even then, you told me about the girls who admired me."
"Yes, however, on that occasion, I started noticing, without being conscious, I adored you... I mean, of course I already loved you, but how one loves a friend, a very close friend, but not yet like a desired lover."
While talking, they gently caressed, tenderly kissed. Nicola smiled when he noticed the new incipient erection of his man.
"What time is it?"
"Ten past six, Darling."
"It's useless trying to sleep, besides, in a couple of hours we have to get up. Look, what you did to my little guy. Let's make love some more, Gilberto... then awaken C四ine with our good news... it's marvelous you recovered your memory, right?"
"Of course! Also, we now know there aren't ghosts in my closet ." Gilberto said with a gentle smile.
The lamps in the room were still switched on, while the first sunrays streamed through the windows. The two made love once again, to the overwhelming satisfaction of both. Their mouths frenched for a period of minutes before exploring each other orally. That journey ended in an enraptured sixty-nine position. They took each other up on the pleasure peaks, up the enjoyment paths, until they burst in a good orgasm. They played their partner's tool until each simultaneously erupted, rewarding the other with a fulfilling, sensual and liquid treasure, as a pledge of the reciprocal love.
Rested, they arose fresh, feeling joyful and full of life. They bathed each other in an invigorating shower then dressed, occasionally exchanging kisses. Exiting, their happy giddy manner amazed the maid, who cleaned the corridor and assumed there was a heterosexual couple, not two men, in the room.
The pair knocked at the door of their friend's suite.
Upon entering, Gilberto sat on the woman's bed and asked, "C四ine, remember the first time we met?"
"Do you want me to tell you?" the mildly surprised woman asked.
"Yes!"
"Well. At that time, I lived in Paris, at Montmartre, where I earned a living making sketches and portraits of tourists. I saw you coming, a visitor guide in your hand, and you stopped to look around. I felt, at once, attracted to you. You appeared unlike the average traveler. Your striking lively face appeared honest. So, I drew your likeness. The sun made your eyes shine brighter and created a halo in your hair."
"Yes, what a brilliant late July day."
"Right! We were at the end of. But... you remember! Sure, we were at the end of July... you remembered it?" C四ine asked in an excited tone.
"Approaching, you showed me the outstanding portrait, asking me to buy it. I wanted to but, unfortunately, I was nearly broke!"
"My God, you totally recall!"
"Yes, my friend. Last night, while making love with Nicola, the heavy veil obscuring my mind lifted."
"And you now recollect it all?!" C四ine asked again, more and more excited.
"Absolutely! Really everything, it seems. At leas all that a person can normally remember."
"WOW! What wonderful news! Oh, Gilberto, if you knew how happy it makes me! It happened so suddenly!"
"More or less. The flashback of the last time with Angelo occurred during sex last night. I remembered how and why he left me... and it has been as if the blindfold fell off... or the fog lifted, revealing the well known landscape! Something sweet, familiar... came back, the good, bad and ugly, included the pain and the disappointment and the rage of when Angelo left me and Silvia was trying to blackmail me. Fortunately, my handsome loving partner lay by my side providing a safe harbour."
"And, now? What are your plans?" the woman asked.
"They remain the same. I asked my mate to move in immediately upon returning home, and he accepted. The accident with all its many ramifications turned out a great blessing, because I met my special fellow who provided great meaning to my existence."
Continuing, the recovered man related the series of events preceding to the accident, including his violent clash with Silvia.
"Don't you fear the return of the shrew with her evil ways?"
" It's really alike she will try, but no, I don't fear it. I talked about that with Nicola, we intend to live openly, which should remove any threat!"
"How will your small town accept an out-of-the-closet gay relationship, and, more importantly, at your bank? Aren't you afraid they can arise you problems, beyond what Silvia could try to still do? Did you think about how Nicola's parents will react? He is a student, not yet self-sufficient, what of his folks?" C四ine asked.
"I have no idea; you could be right, but it won't stop us, we refuse to hide! If necessary, we can move to another city. Nicola shows courage, love and wishes to face the future with me, whatever the circumstances. About his studies, if his family cuts him off, he has nothing to worry about! I am wealthy enough to provide for him until he graduates and finds a good job. Thank heaven, besides a very good salary, my parents left me a vast fortune, so we could live on it, should we need to."
"Yes, our special young man deserves all your help, whenever required. How lucky you met him!"
"Indeed! I am lucky to have fallen in love with him and being loved by him. I'm feeling really happy, C四ine, happy and. and very strong.""
"I admired you, for your sweetness, purity of heart, strength of character... from the very first instant I laid my eyes on you. Even more so, since you always combined the highest moral standards with great compassion for others."
When their visit to P屍ouge ended, they returned to Lyon. Often, the two old friends exchanged reminiscences, and the fascinated Nicola soaked it in. He learned whom his mate was. While he would have gladly accepted his man without his past, it thrilled him to know it.
Finally, the day came when they said their goodbyes and journeyed home. They promised to keep in touch and meet as often as possible.
Upon their return, the younger partner decided to tell his parents of his decision to live with the banker. Therefore, after asking his buddy to wait for him, he went home. He arrived in time for supper.
After they started eating, he began to speak, "Folks, I decided to move in with Gilberto tomorrow."
"What? At his place? Why?" his father asked him, frowning.
"Because we like each other's company." the boy started saying.
" You are taking us by unawares... I understand Mr Ferri may still need your assistance, because he isn't fully recovered, but." his mother said hesitantly.
"No, Mum, during our vacation in Lyon, he fully regained his memory."
"So, then, it's true he doesn't need you any more!" his father stated.
"It's not a question of requiring my help, we just want to live together." Nicola started to explain.
Looking even more vexed, his old man thundered,"What the hell is there between you! This makes no sense... whose suggestion... your's... is? Are you by chanceﾉ two of those... yes?"
"Amilcare, stop being ridiculous... I'm sure it's not that, however, rather, Dr Ferri becoming fond of our child ... I hoped he would, the Director can grant him a great future. After all he owes our boy for all the help our son gave him..."
"Alright, nevertheless, he wants him at his place for what? It makes no sense!"
"Perhaps, he sees him as the child he never had... or he feels lonely." the woman said in a hushed voice, looking at her child to get confirmation of her conjectures.
"He spends more time at that person's home than h is own. Don't you think it's strange he wants to go live with him? What's up, did they fall in love?" the scorning man mocked.
Listening to his parents remarks, Nicola changed plans, he decided to come clean. Taking a deep breath, he gathered his courage to state, "Yes, Dad, it's exactly so!"
Silence fell heavily in the kitchen. The couple looked at their sole heir in utter disbelief.
"What the hell..." his father started.
"Come on, Nicola. you grew fond, you mean." his mother hesitantly suggested, fearful of believing what she only too well understood.
"No, we fell for each other! Therefore, we want to live together." their youngster insisted, feeling his rapidly beating heart.
The man opened his mouth to say something, shut it, repeated the action and only after some more moments could he declare, "Aren't you saying... you both ... are perverts!"
"Not at all perverts, we are a couple, we are in love!"
"And, you fuck each other?!" the man bellowed purple with rage.
"What do you think happens, as we are in love, we play cards?" Nicola retorted in a challenging tone.
"You and he... you and he." the mother moaned.
"Yes, we love each other therefore we make love!"
His father stiffened, trembled, clasped his fists then, addressing his wife, in a falsely calm tone, declared, "Some offspring we made, eh? Think of it, would you have guessed, our boy might turn into a low life, homo, faggot, qeer."
"Dad, it's not insulting me that... you'll be able to change reality."
"No... you're right. But, I won't accept it or give you my blessing! I refuse, never!" the man yelled, no more able to control himself.
"What I desire from you, if not understanding, is at least love."
"After all we sacrificed for you!" his mother, getting angry, started, "Is this how... how you repay us?"
"Mum, Dad, I tried to return it with my respect, by being an outstanding student and giving a helping hand at home. I never created a problem!"
"I bet that monster corrupted you!" the father started to say.
"No. I was always this way! I was this way long before meeting him."
"However, we didn't know! You never told us." his mother shockingly proclaimed.
"Why, had I told you before, would the result be any different?" Nicola asked, trying to keep calm.
"Not at all!" the father yelled. "Absolutely not!"
"Exactly!" Nicola answered.
"Please reconsider." the mother pleaded.
" Reconsider? What should I reconsider? What, my nature? You lost all sense, you ask something absurd! I emerged from your womb this way, it's not my fault, nor yours or anybody else's..."
"But, with proper treatment, if you went into therapy, what may I say." his mother insisted.
"I'm not ill. A leper, a consumptive, a cripple! Don't you understand? Nor, a degenerate, a pervert, a depraved person."
" Your brain is not so healthy, if you pretend you are... normal! You're sick... abnormal... disgusting!" the father hissed.
"Disgusting? Why disgusting? Only because my sexuality places me in the minority rather than the majority?"
"A cock is for making children, not shoving up an arse!" his father yelled.
"And, for pissing, as you know! Also to beat it when your wife refuses to put out! You believe I never saw you wanking your meat? Tell me, how many children are created jerking off? Have you used it only one time to impregnate your wife, simply once in all your life when you made me, or also for other purposes?"
"Oh great, you even dare to judge me! Marvelous!" the man furiously said.
"You criticizes me, instead of trying to understand why I differ sexually! Open your eyes, the world consists of a rainbow of colours, not only black and white!"
"Well, what about your colour, eh?" his father snarled.
"Unhappily, one who disappoints his elders! Anyway, I plan to move tomorrow morning, so you won't see this colour again!"
"Think of the scandal if others find out! Everybody will laugh at, ridicule and scorn us. You need to come to your senses!" his mother said.
"Certainly, all the bigoted people might belittle and shun you, however I'm not responsible for others' intolerance."
"You're impossible to talk to..." his mother started to say.
"That's odd! Up to yesterday you never had reason to complain. Suddenly, today, your son is no good! I am, and always will be, the same individual."
"Is that so, you took us for a ride all these years playing the goody two shoes while you being nothing but a pathetic creep!" his father snapped.
"I could say the same about you two!" Nicola retorted, leaving for his bedroom.
Calling Gilberto, he reported how disastrously things went.
His man's attempted to boost his morale, but only partially succeeded.
They agreed the banker would pick him up with his belongings at eight o'clock the next morning.
The agitated, annoyed boy felt disappointed, sad, and betrayed by his parents. Only the thought of moving in with his lover forever gave him the strength not to burst into tears.
Preparing the things he intended to take, he heard his parents discussing him in the living room, until they retired for the night. It took him until midnight to finish.
He slept soundly until awakened by his alarm clock , after a dreamless night. Dressing, he dragged himself with his stuff outside. After three trips he finished.
His folks never appeared, one remained in the bathroom and the other in the kitchen.
Finally, Gilberto arrived, helping him to load all his things, after which he brought him to his new home.
"Must you leave for work now?" Nicola asked.
"No, first let's eat breakfast, then I'll help you unpack."
"Will you be too late if... perhaps, before you go, we make love?"
"Actually, I have just to call the bank. I can go when I like, this is one of my perks as director."
Embracing, they kissed.
"Let's postpone the food till later!?" Nicola huskily proposed.
"Of course!"
"Then, take me into the other room. Now. I need you!"
CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 9
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