ME AND MY BIG MOUTH by bawdypen
I don't know, it was just one of those instant impulses where the words are out of your mouth before you realize it. I was over at my best pal Bradley's house--as usual every after- noon after school--just to fool around like most 13-year-olds. We were in his garage, trying to figure out some way to get into trouble in the two hours before his folks got home.
"Hold the fort, dude," he said, getting up, "gotta go take a big shit!"
"Hey, can I watch?" I blurted.
He looked back with a crooked smile at my stupid, overused wisecrack, Then he saw from my expression that I was for real. Must have been because I was blushing head-to-toe that I'd actually said that! But he shrugged his shoulders and nodded.
"I guess. But you gotta play with my rod."
"SURE! Hell, yeah!" Hell, yeah. We only played with each other's rods about every other day. But making it a condition softened the outrageousness of what we were going to do.
"Uh, maybe I oughta kick these off," he said once his pants were down and his butt was on the seat.
"Here, let me. It's easier." The perfect lead-in to move into the terribly awkward position of being on my knees in front of a guy who's sitting on the toilet preparing to shit! Quickly dropping my own pants as I squatted, I slipped his Levi's and shorts from around his ankles. Then I bunched them up and knelt on them, grabbed my already stiffening cock, and stared nervously between his thighs. He was fiddling lightly with his own pecker--sort of tickling it as it jerked into a full boner in seconds.
"Oh," I gushed, reaching for it, "let me."
"Oooh, you do that so good, Patrick. Let's do this first, then we can hop on my bed and have a major jerkoff, okay?"
"You bet," I agreed, then quickly added, "but...don't hurry on this. I feel funny enough, at least lemme see it totally so I'll never ask again."
"Yeah, alright. What do I do, lift my legs up or something?"
"Can you get on the edge of the seat?"
"Um," he struggled, "kinda. It's gonna kill my back, though. Man, I'll bet you can really check it out now, hunh?" He giggled over my rapt expression--staring at his hairless, poochy anus as he flexed his sphincter muscle and made it pulse. I giggled too, but halfheartedly. It was a much too exciting and serious experience for me. My prick had never been bigger or stiffer, and I must have been squeezing the dickens out of his rod because he pulled it away and said wisely, "Jerk me later. You're liable to get too excited at this thrilling sight coming up and break it off! Or should I say, coming out?" He chuckled, then shrugged to himself when I gave no indication that I'd even heard him. I slowly dropped my hand to my crotch as I settled back onto my ankles and tried to make it seem imperceptible that I was shuffling closer. When I could easily have rested my chin on the edge of the toilet seat, there was no hiding my fascination.
"Okay, fagknocker," he said, using my sex nickname. "Cripes, what if I got the runs?! He teased, howling at my terrified glance upward. "You can keep your mouth open like that if you want, man...different strokes...but I had to warn you."
"Wiseass!" I groaned. "Come on, I wanna see it come out. Do it slow, alright? I'm not gonna make a profession of this, you know. I just wanna see it one time."
"Alright. Hope you can stand the stink, buddy, I forgot the gas masks!"
"Yeah, yeah...I'll get over it." Then I chuckled. "Hell, I do every day when I poop!"
"Okay." He groaned, pushing down. His wrinkled anus flowered open slightly--a bright pink that caused my prick to jerk wildly. "Uh...wonder if...you know...guys' shit all smell the same or different. Like they say, 'if ya dig your own farts, you're okay...if you dig mine, get away!'" He roared with laughter, making me grin although it made me gulp, too, wondering what catastrophic repercussions would result if I actually enjoyed what I was about to smell!
After a couple of minutes of pushing and grunting, he gasped, "Won't be long now. Get ready, fagknocker."
"Hold it a sec," I said. "Lemme me just touch it before you shit." I reached my hand between his legs and fluttered a fingertip over his bloated anus--lightly teasing it. "Kinda weird, all fat and sticking out like that. Does it tickle?" I rapidly spun my finger around in a circle, pressing a bit harder while I looked up. His mouth hung open.
"N-no, but it feels really good. OOOOH!" He smiled.
"Lemme try something." Without being concerned over the impact, I stuck that fingertip into my mouth and got it wet. Then I circled his asshole again--this time easing it inside until it was up his rectum to the second knuckle. I explored-- twisting around slowly and watching his expression.
"Cripes, that was sure nasty! Taste good? Oh, that's so weird feeling!"
"Yeah?" I punched it in and out a little. "Heck, I wasn't gonna spend all day figuring out some other way to get my finger wet. Besides, it ain't like your hole isn't real clean and all, right?"
"Okay, man. But just so you know, this will be my second shit since my last shower!" He grinned deviously. "But since you liked it, you can come over and lick my hole for me all the time. Plus, I won't even squeal on ya!"
"Yeah?" I shoved my finger straight up his asshole. He yelped at the sudden pain and squeezed down on my wiggling digit. "Who's squealing now, creep?" Then I gushed, "Oh, god..."
"Hey, you know that wasn't so darned bad. If you could get used to it, it'd really make you pop a load. And it doesn't ..." He saw my wide-eyed look of discovery. "What?"
"I'm touchin' it," I whispered hoarsely. "Is this totally nasty, or what? My finger's rubbing over the head of your turd, man...and it's a friggin' big one, I think. Feel what I'm doing?"
"Yeah, a little," he said breathlessly, staring at me. His face was screwed up as he hugged his knees and marveled at how sensational something so obscene and filthy could really be. Of course, he was being passively vulnerable while I was the flaming pervert doing the 'disgustingly lewd' part of our secret little lechery. Still, being prodded up the bum like that gave him chills of feeling like a broad getting finger- fucked in front of the whole class! Why in front of the whole class, he never explained. "Oh, that's gonna make it slide right out if you keep pressing against my asshole and making it stretch. You'd better watch where you put that thing after you pull it out." He reached over and ripped off a couple sheets of toilet paper in preparation, then teased, "Unless you're gonna just stick it in your mouth again! Yeah, do it...that's fair... give me something awesomely filthy to watch--suckin' a big stinky brown finger like a bad little baby who crapped his crib!"
"Gawd, you got a filthy mind!" I cried, oozing my finger out and holding it straight up so we could check it out at the same time. "Huh! What do you know? A little greasy..." I tentatively held it in front of my nose and loudly sniffed it, "stinks pretty good, but not a sign of shit anywhere. You DO shit brown, doncha?"
"Ha! Of course, jerkoff. Guess I'm just not as much of a shitass as you."
"You'd better be. Or I'm gonna feel real silly spending all day down here." I lifted it to my nose again...and grinned at his sudden shock. "Ha, thought I was gonna suck it, didn't ya?!" I took a big drag. ''Whew! Brown or not, definitely came right out of somebody's shithole!"
He held out the wad of paper and I rolled my finger. He wrapped it and pulled, dragging the slime with it. One more sniff...for some unknown reason.
"Yeah, that's okay," I said, obviously meaning it passed inspection. But I left it wide open for one of his comebacks.
"Must be a 'hole' lot better than okay, dude. That's the third time you've sniffed it in two minutes!"
"Only because I figured if I ever found a pair of dirty underpants laying around I'd be able to tell if they were yours just by sniffing the crusty skid marks!"
"Gonna have skid marks on your nose if you don't move back. AH, BIG TURD HEADING YOUR WAY, BUDDY. UGHH!" He closed his eyes and gasped.
"SLOW DOWN!" I screamed, watching the fat turd push his rubbery anus out and away as it stretched beyond imagination. My eyes popped out! "Wow! You oughta see how big your asshole is now, man! Like you were having a baby, except that's no baby turd comin' out! Can you see it?"
"Uh, kinda...AH YEAH! Now I can, just barely." He had his head bent--stretching to see as much as he could. But his turd was curving downward, into the bowl.
"Darn, where's the paper?" I asked frantically. "Ah, who cares?" I said, quickly reaching down and putting my hand beneath and gently lifting it into his vision. It felt incredibly vulgar, what I was doing, yet unbelievably marvelous holding another dude's warm turd in my hand while he takes a shit! "Okay, can you see it?" I demanded, purposely giving my tone an exasperated quality to hide the fact that I was enjoying sliding my palm along his sturdy, greasy turd. Greasy, yet dry...like a thin sticky film that greased the track.
"Oh, man, that's wild! Don't stop, man, but I gotta say you look real funny down there playing with my big smelly turd!"
"Oh yeah? Well, I FEEL pretty funny down here playing with your stinking turd...especially since I got the biggest fuckin' boner of my life!"
"Yeah? Well, good. Wanna try sucking again? You liked it that time we did that 1-2-3 SUCK IT with the timer set for 30 seconds. What do you say?"
"Sure," I nodded, "if I don't pop off seeing this slimy snake pop from your butthole. AW! Man, that's so nasty. Oh, that was super raunchy! That's the dirtiest thing I've ever seen in my life. Your big asshole just 'waaa waaa waaa' when that turd fell out!" I emphasized by curling my fingers and demonstrating how his anus had gone from gaping like the black pit of hell to a pinched up prissy little crease in a series of decreasingly-intense, pulsing muscle spasms obscene beyond even my most vivid imagination! You really oughta see that, man. It's wild. Trust me, it's a lot more wilder than disgusting. In fact, I probably shouldn't say this, but it wasn't really disgusting at all...not even holding your big pile of shit in my hand. Sick, bent, and so degenerate I'd never admit it to anyone...but disgusting? No fucking way." I stood up and ripped off a stream of toilet paper to wipe along my palm. "Check it out," I urged, waving my springy boner at him and twisting my hips. "I don't know about you, but anything that makes my pecker so awesomely hard the juice keeps running out, is something I'll do again."
"Uh, maybe..." He had a carefully-folded, triple-layered pad of toilet paper prepared as he reached down and smacked it into place below his balls. Now, he could have lowered his legs and done it regularly, from behind, but maybe it felt sexy having your puffy asshole exposed and looked at, and he didn't want to cut the feeling short.
"Wish I had a camera for that shot," I laughed. "I could sell ten-second peeks at it at school and make a bundle! I'd have to cover your face over, but they'd all know it was you if I had a polaroid like that. Who else would pose for me except the other screwball? Guys would be in groups, buying looks over and over until they could find something to prove it was you. Like a wart on your balls they saw in the shower. Man, we get brainless together, don't we?" I chuckled. "Specially when it's got anything to do with our stiff dicks! Come on, let's go crazy a while longer. What do you say we really do it? You know, suck each other off all the way? Go around the Queer Bend just once and give a dude a fucking BLOWJOB!"
He stared with feined exasperation, picking up his clothes and giving me a beaver shot that made my pulse go into over- drive. I hoped it was just a temporary response. I sure didn't want to started gettin' the hots for my best pal. I just wanted to be queer for about another hour.
"Hurry, we only got 45 minutes," he gushed. "Good thing nobody can hear us, hunh? Oh well, at least we know this is all just, you know, screwing around. Well, horsing around. But if you ever finger-fuck me like that again, we just might end up screwing!"
"You'd let me fuck ya? AWESOME, DUDE! Be kinda neat if you ended up being my first piece of ass!" I howled as we skipped bare-assed down the hallway.
Slamming the door and locking it, we stared breathlessly at each other...our sticky cockheads banging into each other with their own impatience,
"All the way, dude?" He asked.
"Yep," I nodded, "down the hatch. We know it ain't gonna be a ball of puke, dude, cause I figure you've gulped down as big a bunch of your own loads as I have, right? Just tell me...you squirt in your hand and suck it up like a big wad of snot, or you lick it off your fingers?"
'WAD OF SNOT?!? Now, that's disgusting!" He plopped his butt on the bed and scooted backward, waiting for me. "Actually, I like to double my legs over and shoot down into my mouth."
"Ah, I shoulda known. What a cum-sucker!" I slid between his legs and nosed into his thighs. "I tried that, but always ended up with jizz in my eyes, my nose, and one tiny glob that made it onto my tongue. Hell, maybe I wouldn't have liked it all, anyway. Uh, oh. Darn. I'm sure gonna find out, aren't I? I forgot all about those monstrous loads you can squirt. Please, Bradley, be my friend. Don't let your balls take over so you end up choking me to death, alright? Mom and Dad would feel pretty lousy at the funeral if everybody knew I choked on a heavy-weight dose of another guy's balljuice!"
"Hey, you too! Remember, we're just gonna try an all-out cocksucking, no mouthfucking. Suckers do the work, deal?"
"Deal. Now lemme suck it, your smelly nuts are driving me crazy. I'll flip around in a few minutes...after my cock cools off a little. Don't wantcha gulping my load down before you get to enjoy my meat, right?"
"Right," he said patiently, nodding, then impatiently guiding me downward by the ears. "So, you're the school queer who's been spreading around how you've been dying to give me a hot blowjob since 7th grade? Alright, fag dude, let's see ya blow my hot meat!"
I went wild, as I always do whenever he snaps into one of his fantasy raps. You'd laugh your ass off over the stupid combinations he'd come up with while we pounded each other's hard pricks. Daffy, but it never gets in the way of a good jackoff. First time was just a tension reliever, but we had such a good time he still does it.
I slurped my lips from his juicy knob and looked up. "Yes, you incredibly foxy butch stud. It'll be an honor to suck your fantastic iron of steel at your slightest command. Who could resist taking such a majestic and delicious specimen of manhood into their mouth? Let it be your repository for cum and piss, any hour, day or night. I live only to blow you!" I growled and trounced on it, taking as much of his shaft that fit comfortably, then a bit more for the effect of my words. Yes, yes yes, it made him gasp! I pulled off and looked up.
"Scratch that last part about the piss and don't get any fancy ideas about me being the new blowboy around here." I was emphasizing that my fantasy retorts were also fantasy. "Then again," I teased with a wink, "these juicy things are kinda neat to suck on, aren't they?"
"Oooh, come on and turn around. I gotta do it too. If we shoot off too quick, we'll just hafta do it again and again til we do a proper test run. Correct?" He squirmed around, hugging my butt and pulling my crotch into his face.
"Correctomente, amigo!" I blurted in my bestest bravado and announced proudly our irrevocable bond. "BLOWJOBS TIL WE GET IT RIGHT! Oh, something like that..."
Comments appreciated...please mention story name. bawdypen@hotmail.com