Master and the Mate
By: Deep Diver
(Copyright 2006 - 2007 by the Author)
Editor: David L
The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the
author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...
deepdiver_pr@yahoo.com
Chapter 33
Windless Seas
Ryan had to cancel his appointments and classes. He had an appointment for 7:30 a.m. but it was two in the afternoon when he saw the oncologist, Dr. Fungee. The doctor spent more time studying Ryan's test results and X-ray reports than talking. Later he led Ryan into an examination room. He began to test Ryan's blood pressure but Ryan told him that the nurse had already done so.
Dr. Fungee replied, "I like to check it myself." Fungee then proceed to palpitate all of Ryan's glands. Ryan felt comforted by the doctor's firm touch which intuitively communicated to Ryan his competence. Later he discovered that he was Professor of Oncology at the Medical School.
"Well, we will begin on next Tuesday with chemotherapy. We are using the latest treatment, there should be no secondary effects except some possible nausea, but we will give you some medication before treatment that should prevent any discomfort. However, you need to undergo radiotherapy simultaneously." Fungee then led Ryan over to another office and introduced him to the radiotherapist. After studying his file, the radiotherapist sent him back to the waiting room where Kyle was anxiously waiting.
"You OK?" Ryan said.
"I'm fine, what's going on?" Kyle asked.
"Well, what I understand is that they are going to give me radiotherapy and chemotherapy at the same time to reduce the tumour and prevent it from mastisizing." Ryan said.
After approximately two hours Ryan was called into an examination room and more X-rays were taken and then he was tattooed with two small black dots on each ass cheek.
"You could have at least let me pick the design." Ryan teased the technician.
Later, appointments were made to give Ryan low doses of radiotherapy each Thursday morning at 10:30 a.m. Ryan was relieved that the treatments were done by appointment. Unfortunately, each time he needed to see the doctor it entailed a long wait. He wondered why they had to give everyone a 7:30 a.m. appointment when they knew that they could not possibly see so many at the same time.
When Thursday arrived Kyle made sure to have Ryan there with about fifteen minutes to spare. Ryan was called ahead of schedule and was somewhat shocked. But was only led into another smaller waiting room where there were two patients already waiting. When the first was called he heard a heavy thud. Ten minutes later the second was called and again he heard thud. Finally he was called and as he entered the treatment room he saw a metal door that was at least eight inches thick. He then realized where the thuds came from. He was asked to lay face down on a table with his naked butt in the air. The machine seemed to be controlled by a computer. He heard the thud and then the whining of the machine. He felt nothing as he received a dose from above and then from each side. Within minutes he was on his way home with Kyle.
"Ry, how was it?" Kyle asked.
"Didn't feel a thing. Actually the worst was waiting, but now I feel somewhat relieved that they have begun to attack those traitor cells in my insides."
On the way home they decided to do some Christmas shopping before the rush. They bought a Dell laptop for Mark and a desktop PC for Manny. They also bought a hub so that they could all share the same printer. While Kyle went off on his own to browse for a gift for Ryan, Ryan just told the attendant to put another laptop on the order and he would come back for the second a few days later.
Kyle found a portable DVD player thinking that he would help Ryan pass the time during the administration of the chemotherapy or in waiting rooms. Later they joined up and went to the men's department and bought some new clothes for the boys. Kyle picked out some nice rugby shirts and cargo shorts for each. Then they went over to look for some table games. They also bought some ice skates for themselves and the boys.
On the way out of the store, Ryan picked up a newspaper and read the headlines. The news was about an anonymous young man who had been conceived in a test tube and raised in a controlled environment. Ryan commented on the news story to Kyle.
"God that has to be awful to have been raised without a loving family. I can't see how these so called scientists could bring themselves to do that. Just because we can do something doesn't mean that we should. Can you imagine how that person would feel?" He said to Kyle.
"My parents had their problems and it was difficult at times being gay and all, but damn, I wouldn't want to be that kid for all the money in the world." Kyle replied.
That night, Kyle was surprised by how horny Ryan was. He thought that once the therapies had begun, that Ryan would lose some of his energy and interest, but Ryan was responding quite contrarily and was all over Kyle, caressing and touching him. He was just about ready to pull off the covers and pull down Kyle's jockey shorts when there was a knock at the bedroom door.
"Come in!" Ryan said.
"I can't sleep!" Manny complained.
Ryan patted the bed between himself and Kyle and Manny climbed into bed between them.
"When can I see my mommy " Manny asked sadly.
"Honestly, Manny baby, I don't know. But I promise to contact her social worker tomorrow and see if we can't arrange a visit."
"I miss her." Manny said.
Ryan embraced the boy, who soon feel asleep in his arms. He made a move to get up and carry him back to his own bed, but Kyle held him back.
"Its OK, Ry, let him stay with us tonight." Kyle conceded. "Its been awhile since one of our sons has slept with us and who knows how long that might last."
The next day Ryan kept his promise and called the social worker. She was very warm to Ryan, but explained that Manny's mother was going downhill very quickly and looked so badly that it might be far more upsetting for Manny to see her as she was. "Dr. Loud, she is so pumped full of morphine, she would not even realize that Manny was there. If you insist I will arrange it, but I don't recommend it." The social worker said.
When Manny got home from school, Ryan sat down with him.
"Manny, you do know that Kyle, Mark and I all love you very deeply, don't you."
Manny just nodded his head in reply.
"Do you love us as much as we love you?" Ryan asked. Kyle saw the two talking and slid into a chair and just listened. He was wearing a very tight tee-shirt which showed off the outline of his nipples. He was also dressed in a pair of gym shorts which allowed Ryan to see the outline of his genitals.
Ryan found it hard to concentrate on what he was saying as the thought of throwing himself down on his knees between Kyle's legs occurred to him and slipping his hands up his thighs under his shorts.
Again the boy just nodded his head.
"Ah, well Manny, you are now very much a part of this family. This is your home for as long as you want to be with us. You lost your daddy, but now you have two daddies and a very caring brother who loves to look after you. When we lose something that we love very much, God always gives us something better to help us get over the loss. Can you see that? It doesn't mean that we stop missing what we lost, but it helps us. I promised you last night to call the social worker and I did. I asked her if we could go see your Mom. But she told me that you Mom is feeling so very sick and that your Mom doesn't want you to see her that way." Ryan said.
"But I want to see her." Manny said.
"Of course you do, Manny, because you love her very much. And because she loves you very much she wants you to remember her with a happy face. If we go see her, she is so sick she will be asleep and not even know you are there. She is asking you not to come, do you love her enough to not see her to make her happier?"
Manny shook his leg as a manifestation of the inner conflict he was feeling, but nodded affirmatively again.
"Manny I am very proud of you. I know that was a hard decision to make, but in life we often have to do the hard things for those we love. Your Mom is dying, I'm sure you know that, but the doctors are giving her all the painkillers that she needs, so that she is not suffering." Ryan said to prepare Manny for the inevitable which was getting nearer every day.
"As soon as Mark comes home, we have a special surprise for you both." Ryan said to cheer the boy up.
"What is it? I can't tell you, but maybe Kyle can give you a hint." Ryan said winking at Kyle.
"Oh, no; it's a secret. I can't tell!" Kyle said. "But we can have some milk and cookies while we wait for Mark."
Manny was on his fifth 'Recreo' cookie as good as an 'Oreo,' but one fourth the price! when Mark came in he immediately grabbed some cookies while Kyle poured him a glass of milk.
"Um, so good." Mark said as he ran his hand through Manny's hair.
"Quick Mark, we got to hurry, Ryan and Kyle have a surprise for us." Manny said excitedly.
"What kind of a surprise?" Mark asked.
"I can't tell ya. It's a secret!" Manny said as if he knew what it was.
Kyle called Ryan down and the four piled into the Honda Civic.
"Put on your seat belt!" Manny reminded Ryan.
All the way, the boys tried guessing where they were going. When they arrived at the animal shelter they got really excited.
"OK boys, you have a very hard job to do now. You must both pick the same dog. If you each pick a different one, then Kyle and I will pick the one we like." Ryan began and the boys were ready to jump out of the car before Kyle had a chance to park.
"Hold on, I haven't finished. There are all kinds of dogs in there, but only one of them is ours. Remember, the dog that nobody wants will be put to sleep soon, and maybe he isn't the prettiest or the biggest or the smallest. Maybe he's a puppy, but maybe he is an older dog like me. I want you to look at each one and listen more to your heart than your eyes. God will tell you which one needs to be saved. Now go ahead!." Ryan said.
Kyle and Ryan joined hands and followed the boys.
"Damn Ryan where did you come up with that one?" Kyle said, admiring his lover.
"Kyle, I just thought what if I was one of the dogs in there, who would pick me?"
Kyle stopped and looked Ryan in the eye. "I would pick you a hundred times over."
"Ah, that's because you like my chain leash!" Ryan said laughing.
By the time they caught up to the boys they had gone past half the pens and were continuing their search. They finally both stood in front of the same pen, staring at an older miniature collie. Unlike the other dogs she did not jump up and stand on her hind legs trying to lick the boys through the fence. She just remained lying and stared at them as she moved her tail back and forth.
"We found her. This is our dog," Manny said.
Mark nodded his agreement. The attendant came around and opened the pen and brought out the dog. She immediately began licking Manny's hands and when he bent down, she licked his face too. The dog was about seven years old, on the smaller side, and had a brown and white coat that indicated that she was a mixed breed. Ryan went to fill out the papers while the handler explained how to care for her.
When Kyle came over to him he said, "that was amazing how they both chose the same dog, I had visions of going home with five dogs."
"I know you did, what I said I said for you, because I knew you would want a different dog than the boys!" Ryan teased.
On the way home the dog sat on the back seat between both boys. Mark was petting her back soothingly and she put her head on Manny's leg and went to sleep.
"I think this is the perfect dog. While not a frisky puppy, she will comfort both me and the boys on the rough days ahead." Ryan said.
"Yeah, and she's already house broken!" Kyle added.
The next day, the social worker called Ryan to tell him that Manny's Mom had passed. The state was willing to arrange the burial, but Ryan insisted he would pay and told them to contact the Cypress Hills Funeral Parlor and that they should tell them he would cover the expenses. Later when he told Kyle, Kyle too wanted to help pay the cost. They decided against a viewing and just arranged for a funeral service at the cemetery.
Kyle took Manny out and bought him a dark suit so that his Mom would see him from heaven and know that he was being well taken care of. Unbeknown to Ryan and Kyle, Manny's natural father showed up at the service. He did not introduce himself to anyone, nor did he even say 'hello' to his son, but he became determined to gain custody of Manny as a way of getting financial help from the state. He went straight from the cemetery to the legal aid society to seek help.
Manny was fascinated by the whole affair. Not having seen his Mom, it didn't really penetrate his consciousness that she was no longer alive. Ryan had given him a rose to put on the coffin as it was lowered into the ground, but the whole significance of the event was lost on him. His mind was more on getting home, getting out of the uncomfortable suit, and playing with Sally, his now inseparable pet and playmate. Ryan knew as Manny matured he would have plenty of time to grieve his loss and who could say that he should not be enjoying now his new home with its security and the love of his new family.
More than Manny, Mark was deeply affected by the funeral. Events of the day triggered many of his memories of the loss of his own parents. Kyle picked up on it first. He went into Mark's room and found him lying on his bed staring at the ceiling.
"Can I talk to you Mark." Kyle said.
"If you want." Mark said sadly.
"Its just that I'm feeling kind of sad," Kyle said. "Going to the cemetery today reminded me of when my Mom died."
Mark rolled over and looked at Kyle who was sitting in a chair that he had pulled over next to Mark's bed.
"Sometimes, when I remember my mother, I feel so alone." Kyle continued.
Mark sat up and touched Kyle's leg. "Doesn't the pain ever go away?" he asked Kyle.
"It gets less intense, but I don't think it ever really goes away. But what is very helpful is having a family and people you love nearby that can understand you and give you comfort."
Mark stood and hugged Kyle. The two just held onto one another in a tight bear-hug. Kyle had shared hoping this would help Mark, but instead all of Kyle's fears and anxieties about Ryan emerged and he could no longer contain them as he began weeping in Mark's arms. Mark hung onto Kyle and he so empathized with his adopted father that tears began to flow from his own eyes as well. Suddenly Sally was trying to jump up on them and they both fell back on the bed with Sally on top of them, licking their tears until they were both laughing and feeling so much a part of each other.
"Mark, thanks for listening to me. You really helped me a lot." Kyle said.
"No problem, you can come in anytime you need to talk." Mark said proudly.
On Tuesday morning Ryan found himself sitting on a lounge-type chair where the technician had sat him after weighing him and checking his blood pressure. Then the technician came back with a pill to counter nausea which Ryan swallowed with the help of a paper cup filled with water and then an IV was connected to his arm. He watched the clear liquid come down the plastic tube and enter his vein. He braced himself, but in fact felt nothing. When he looked up, all the other cancer patients in the room were watching the ritual and his reaction. So it has begun, he told himself and prayed for the strength to resist the highly controlled poison that was being injected into his body. After several minutes, with no reaction he began to relax.
When the technician came by to check the IV, Ryan spoke, "So far I don't feel anything strange."
"Sorry, but that IV is just a saline solution to open up your veins." She said.
Then a male technician came out from the back carrying the IV with the chemotherapy. Ryan suddenly felt sorry for himself until he looked across to the far side of the room and saw a handsome young man who had lost all his hair and was looking a bit bloated.
"How soon before my hair falls out?" Ryan asked out of curiosity, not vanity.
"Oh, yours won't fall out, this dosage is far too diluted because its more preventative." The technician explained with a sympathetic smile.
"I wouldn't mind if the grays fell out." Ryan joked.
"Yeah, but then everybody would want to go through chemotherapy." The fellow shot back.
Ryan sat back and worked on the crossword puzzle in the daily paper; then his cell phone rang.
"Hello?" He said as it registered with him that it was Manny's social worker calling.
"Dr. Loud, I'm afraid we have run into a bit of a problem." She said.
"I hope it's nothing too serious." Ryan answered as he watched the droplets fall from the IV bag into the plastic tube.
"Manny's father wants custody." She said somberly.
"Oh my God. No! That bastard walked out on him already."
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