Marvelously Charming
Chapter 38
Hoo-bee-diggy- What Now?!
"Marry you..."
"Yes... Wouldn't you agree becoming human and sacrificing a whole part of my existence qualifies as the same sort of commitment?"
"I suppose, but, marriage... I never really thought of myself as the marrying type, I mean, look at Chris and Johnny, half the time its paradise, but the other half... hell on wheels... by hell I mean Chris becomes a bitch..."
"What does that have to do with you and me...?"
"I don't want to become a bitchy housewife..."
"Then don't..."
"It's not that simple... I mean the Halliwells weren't exactly the poster family for happiness..."
"Wyatt and Chris had lots of happy memories they were quick to share with all of us here..."
"Those two grew up literally in a different world than David and I, the families we know are completely different, I'm starting to figure that out now."
"Look, I won't presume to know what's going on in your mind, but let me simplify this, I can't become human for you if you aren't one hundred percent certain that we belong together..."
"Can we wait a little while... We still need to get to know each other..."
"I've got all the time in the world..." Emmett said
"But I don't..."
"I know. So you better decide pretty quick."
"Ok... but I need to lay this out... I agree to a one year engagement, after that year if we are ready for marriage you will be human by the wedding night..."
"Ok. I agree to your terms, Mrs. Cullen..."
"Oh you did not just call me a misses..."
"Oh I did..."
"Alright then Mrs. Halliwell!"
"Wait a second there's no way I'm gonna be a misses..."
"Why because you're the top you think I the helpless bottom have to take your last name, think again hot shot..."
"I can see this is gonna be a long winding road..."
"And there's no end in sight baby..."
Alex kisses Emmett...
"Are you fucking kidding me?!"
"What is it now?" a mildly angry Johnny asks
"Don't you take that tone with me, your son FAILED two classes..."
"How did he fail he's only in fourth grade don't they use like numbers or something...?"
"How the fuck did you get so dense...?"
"Whoa, calm down, you on the rag or something..."
"Do you really think this is the time to joke around with me..."
Under his breath Johnny mutters, "who's joking..." and a book sails at his head
"Hello, mind reader in the house..."
"What it's not a huge deal kids fail classes, get him a tutor..."
"Okay, yeah, how about you be a father..."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa back the fuck up, since when am I not a father..."
"Hmmm.. lemme think, well, since ALWAYS, I am CONSTANTLY being a solo parent, I don't know what the hell you do all day since you never talk to me anymore, so who is he, huh?"
"Why do you ALWAYS do this, just because I don't want to talk to you, doesn't mean there's someone else..."
"At last, the truth, a speck of honest conversation... so, you don't wanna talk to me, you don't wanna have sex with me, you don't even want to sleep in the same bed with me anymore, so what is it, do I disgust you now, or is it just that you don't love me..."
"Of course I love you..."
"Do you... or am I just your obligation cause I shot out a few kids...?" Chris asked obviously hurt
"Don't do this..."
"Don't do what Johnny, don't realize that my husband has lost all interest in me... I'm not seventeen anymore it was bound to happen, I am 27, that's two years older than the age you were when we met, I'm not getting any younger... so tell me, am I wasting my time...?"
"I think it might be time..."
"Time for what?"
"I think we need to take some time..."
"I don't need time, I know what I want, and my desires don't match yours anymore, go ahead Johnny, date other people, it's what you want anyway, I just wish I'd sensed it earlier..."
"You see that's your problem Chris, you can sense these things, why didn't you just tell me when I first started to feel it, you could have spared the act, you knew..."
Chris's tears were falling freely now, "I hoped something was wrong with my powers, I hoped, someone was making me feel those feelings, I was hoping, I was PRAYING that they weren't really YOUR feelings, but they are, I can see it now, and I am so scared of what that means..."
"Chris, people fall out of love, these things happen..."
"You remember what you said to me the very first time you said you love me?"
"Chris, please..."
"You said, I can never love anyone the way I love you, and this love is for life... You know what the worst part of all of this is...?" Johnny gave Chris a look of pain, "I believed you..."
John was listening outside his parents' bedroom and ran up to the attic, "Hear these words hear my cry spirit from the other side come to me I summon thee cross now the great divide..."
"John?"
"Hi grandma..."
"Sweetie what's wrong, why did you summon me... why are you the first to summon me, why am I here... oh this is so weird being the one IN the candles..."
"Grandma please..."
"Okay honey, what's going on?"
"I made mommy and daddy mad..."
"Well baby you're their son that sorta comes with the territory..."
"I was bad at school, and mommy showed daddy my report card, but they got into a huge fight..." John raised his hand and like a movie projector the fight played out for Piper...
"Wow... Where did you learn that..."
"It's a new twist on astral projecting, I learned how to do it from a half breed vampire..."
"Okay... well John, honey, I'm glad you called, but I still don't get why I'm here..."
"If mommy and daddy divorce, is it going to be my fault..."
"NO baby, no it won't..."
"But it was my report card that started the fight..."
"Boy, listen to me, your parents have been married for eight years, that is a long time, they were having problems long before you were getting report cards, sometimes mommies and daddies argue, sometimes they divorce, sometimes things work out, things almost didn't work out for Le—Grandpa and me, but the Wyatt switched our..."
"THANK YOU GRANDMA!!!"
"No, no, no..."
"I have to help them... bye..." John blew out the nearest candle...
"Body switching... Soul swapping.. Power changing... I don't know what... YESS!!!..."
"I raise the kids, fight demons, and still find time to be a good husband, but you, GOD I would kill to be lazy for once..."
"Lazy... you think I'm lazy, you wouldn't last a day doing what I do all day, tracking the next cataclysmic event, or fighting off the next threat detailed by a floating surfer, or fighting the demon leftovers and lending a hand wherever I can, which is no where with my prima whatever husband cutting me off at the knees every chance he gets..."
"They do not know the struggles each other has, help them stop the tears..."
"Well then why is it everytime I see you you're laying on your ASS..."
"let them know the deepest of fears..."
"Yeah, well if you could stop judging me for five seconds maybe you could see whast I contribute, I'd like to think I've given you a pretty good life..."
"Unite them now, heal the wounds, time is lost forget taboos..."
"A good life... one with an absentee father!"
"Make them walk a mile in each other's shoes..."
Bolts of electricity knock down Johnny and Chris...
"Johnny..."
"Chris..."
"Are you okay...?" They both ask
"Oh... My... GOD..." Chris said when his eyes came into focus
"AHHH!" Johnny said
"I'm... YOU!..." They both yelped
"Mom, dad?"
"JOHN!" They both exclaimed
"Honey, baby, could you give us a minute..." John looked at Johnny confused
"Dad, are you okay, you never call use pet names, well except sport or champ..."
"Sorry to try and be affectionate... for once... Champ!" Johnny (Chris) roughly ruffled his son's hair
"What your mo—Father means to say baby is that we were having a grown up talk..."
"Well.. could you guys just keep down the yelling I have studying to do..."
"Sure b—sport..."
John left the room... "Well I sure as hell am not pregnant, so how did this happen!?" Chris asked
"I don't know, how did this happen... OH MY GOD... what is all that raquet...?"
"How do you mean...?"
"All the voices..."
"Oh... those... yeah... those are a bitch..."
"Well how do I make it... wait... do you hear these voices all the time...?"
"Yeah... does anyone sound panicked...?"
"How do you differentiate...?"
"Practice.. I barely notice them anymore... and right now you're not even feeling emotions... consider yourself lucky..."
"I just can't believe you hear all this commotion, plus you have to deal with all kinds of emotions, how are you not a huge bitch..."
"Well... according to you about 5 minutes ago I AM a huge bitch.."
"Well you will never hear me complain about your moods ever again..."
Outside their bedroom door John made a victory movement with his fist
Alex walked through the front door of the manor to find Wyatt in the living room watching the midday news
"Hey, what brings you by?"
"Nothing just needed some time to think, I didn't know you and Pete moved in yet, I thought it would still be empty..." Alex said while deep in thought
"What's... JESUS, he didn't... please tell me that monster did not propose to you!"
Alex snapped out of his daze, he'd forgotten he was wearing the ring, "I can't say that, cause I'd be lying..."
"And you said yes?!"
"Of course I said yes, I happen to really care about "that monster" a whole lot, I don't get why you can't see that, he ISN'T evil, he only hunts ANIMALS..."
"So how did this event come to be..."
"I asked him to become human..."
"Ok, well how does that lead to... So he agreed to become human if you marry him??"
"Yes..."
"Well... in its own messed up sort of way... that's so romantic..."
"You really think so...?"
"I really do..."
At this point Alex breaks down on the couch and starts breathing heavily, "I, I just never thought I would be dealing with anything like this, I don't believe in marriage, I don't believe that any love can last forever, and if your guys' marriages are any indication, I'm not sure I want that..."
Wyatt was a little agitated, he liked to think his marriage was fine, but here was someone saying otherwise, so he calmed himself and sat next to Alex, "What do you mean, "if your guys' marriages are any indication?""
"Well, I don't want to cause any problems, but when I first met you all I saw the way Pete and Johnny look at you, and also the way you look at them, but I've seen and heard the awful fights, and the looks have changed, it's like the admiration that was once there was gone..."
Wyatt thought about it for a minute and realized he had not seen Pete smile in as long as his memory would allow him to think before it began to hurt; "oh my god, you're right, I haven't seen him look at me with those sparkling gray eyes and perfect smile in a very long time... He just never says anything negative, now that I think about it, I almost wish he would..."
"You see what I mean, I think marriage is the cause, because when you're just a couple the passion is there because you know deep in your mind that you don't have a guarantee and you're willing to work at it harder, but once a ring symbolizes your tie to one another, you begin taking the other for granted, and I do not want that at all."
Wyatt began to cry... "Excuse me..."
Johnny and Chris
"Panic, I hear panic..." Johnny exclaimed
"Well, you have to concentrate, where is it coming from...?"
"It's close... golden gate park..."
"You have to orb, it could be life or death..."
"Me... orb... how... you have to want to be there more than anything... and concentrate, this is life or death baby..." Chris coached
Johnny closes his eyes and thinks about being in Golden Gate Park right next to this person in need and disappears into swirling lights...
Johnny's cell phone starts flashing red and ringing with a siren like sound... Chris picks it up, "Hello?"
"Johnny it's Sue, we have trouble we need you now get here, I'll text you coordinates..."
"Ok..." Chris was so unsure of what to do...
** Golden Gate Park **
"OUCH!" Johnny exclaimed as he crashed into the hard sidewalk "Okay so orbing isn't for me..." he stood up and saw a woman fighting off a man
"HEY!" Johnny pointed to the man dressed in black and he blew up "WOW..."
"Oh my god.. what are you..." the woman exclaimed and ran away
"NO WAIT!! FUCK!..." He heard another call and orbed out
Coordinate Location
"FUUUUUCCCKKKK" Chris screamed as he fell out of the sky and flat onto a boat
"Johnny, are you okay?" Sue exclaimed
"Ye—no I'm not, my ass is killing me..."
"Late night..." Ben said teasingly
Chris's anger flashed he didn't usually care when people cracked jokes at him, but hated it when they started in on his loved ones, now he was confused if he should actually be upset, but before he knew it a ball of fire hit Ben
"I'm sorry..." Chris said immediately
"Did you just..." Ben said confusedly
"Apologize... Johnny what's going on..." Sue asked
"What can't a guy just apologize..." Chris attempted to cover
"No... not this guy, who are you and where's Johnny?"
"Okay well it has to come out eventually... I'm Chris, somehow me and Johnny switched bodies..."
"WHAT?!" Ben, Reed, and Sue asked at the same time
"I'm sorry, I don't know what to say..."
"You don't have to say anything, but we still need you, you can fight right?" Ben said
"Yeah, I'm still useful."
"Okay here's the plan..."
Panama City, Panama
"AYUDAME POR FAVOR, Ay, ayudame, Chris!!!" Chris's charge screams
"Whoa slow down."
"AYUDAME, una fantasma!"
"No hablo español..." "Whoa was that Spanish?"
A fireball is thrown at Chris and his charge
"VAMONOS!"
Storm House
Johnny orbs into the living room and Chris walks through the front door
They sit on the couch and begin talking at the same time, "You go first." Johnny says
"I'm so sorry, I never knew how much it takes to do what you do, I mean I take back every negative thing I ever said to you, I had to fight off some dude that was like made of bricks or something, it was really weird, I am sorry I never took your fantastic four duties seriously."
"Thank you, but I think I'm the one who truly owes you an apology, I have been so blind, not only did I have to find an elf nanny that was available on short notice, which you never have done, but I was orbing all over creation and then I still had to find the time to vanquish three demons and go to work for you, how do you do it, it's completely amazing to me that you haven't dumped me already because I have been so neglectful to you and the kids."
"You haven't been neglectful..."
"Yes I have, I'm not around much, and when I am, I'm so tired that I just wanna relax, but there you are bustling around the kitchen or the kids, all by yourself, and I don't even show you proper affection or appreciation for it you deserve the world."
"Honey, listen to me, I know you do what you can, I may not always be the most easy person to love, but I do love you very much, and I don't wanna lose you."
"You have me. I'm not going anywhere." Johnny said
"I would kiss you, but I don't wanna kiss myself..." Chris said laughing
"I agree... it would be awkward..."
"You so want to don't you...?" Chris asked
"Don't you..."
"A little bit... on three... 1... 2... 3..." and like two awkward teenagers they kissed one another, they both felt a jolt and they flew apart onto the floor...
Johnny {Now himself} asks "Are you all right sweetie?"
"Yeah I'm okay, I guess we fixed what the spell or whatever that was wanted us to fix..."
"By the way, you never told me you spoke Spanish..."
"Well, whitelighters speak whatever language their charges speak..."
"Is that so... in that case ¿Puedo poner mi polla en tu culo?"
"Improper, yet effective, claro que si señor..." Chris replied and orbed them up to the bedroom
Cullen House
"Alex, what a surprise, Emmett's at the main house..." Bella said
"I'm not here to see Emmett, I actually came to see you..."
"Why?"
"I need to talk to you about becoming a vampire..."
"Come in..." She said and closed the door behind them..."
To Be Continued...
OOOH weren't expecting that one were you... stay tuned...
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