During the days that followed, my love for Jared grew deeper and deeper. We were inseparable. We spent time alone as often as possible.
One day, while Marissa went into Santa Fe with Mom and my older sisters, Jared and I decided to ride out onto the ranch where we spent the whole day together. We saddled up the horses, and packed a lunch. We ended up in the middle of nowhere, atop a rocky bluff. From there, you could see forever in all directions. It was really impressive. We tethered the horses, and spread out a blanket on a large, flat rock on the very top of the bluff. Jared immediately began stripping off his clothes. I followed his lead, and we were both nude in a matter of seconds. It was exhilarating to feel the sun and the wind touching every part of my body. I loved seeing him naked. His tan body made him look so natural, like he belonged in some native tribe or something. My midsection was lily white. It looked like I was wearing a pair of white shorts. I felt a little embarrassed. He must have noticed my embarrassment because he quickly said, "Bring that beautiful white ass of yours over here and let me kiss it."
He probed my asshole with his tongue, digging as deep as he possibly could. It was wonderful. I lay there on my back, with the warmth of the sun penetrating my body while Jared made love to me with his incredible tongue. Soon, we were sucking each other's hard cocks, quickly bringing each other to climax.
We ate lunch, and then relaxed on the blanket, holding each other. I finally got up the courage to ask him a question that I had been holding onto for days. "Have you ever screwed my sister?" I asked.
"Hell no!" he quickly answered. "You know she would never do it."
I knew he was telling the truth. Marissa was devoutly religious. She could have been a nun. Her morals and values were very high. She had decided at a very young age that she would remain a virgin until she married. This commitment prevented her from getting a lot of dates in high school, but she stuck by it. Her high standards gave me a convenient excuse for staying away from girls, too. Everyone assumed that I was committed to the same standards Marissa had. They never suspected that I didn't date because I was not attracted to women. I always knew the truth, but never admitted it to anyone. I could never tell anyone in my family or my community that I was gay. My parents believed that homosexuality was a mortal sin, and not even the pope would be able to change their minds.
"So, are you saying that you would sleep with her if she would do it?" I asked.
"Mark, you know I am gay. I love you more than anything. My body and my soul are yours, and they will never belong to anyone else. I love Marissa in the same way you do, like a sister," he answered.
"Well," I continued, "if you love her like a sister, and you are not sexually attracted to her, then why are you dating her?"
"My family expects me to have a girlfriend," he answered. "Marissa helps keep them off my back. I know that using her like this is wrong, but I really do enjoy her company. Until now, it wasn't a problem because I wasn't in love. But now that you have come along, things will have to change."
I wondered what he meant by that statement. Was he implying that "Mark and Jared" would become a permanent couple, committed to each other in a lifelong relationship? That was what I wanted more than anything in my life.
After thinking a moment, he continued, "At some point, I will break things off with Marissa. I want to be with you, Mark. I know this will probably cause tremendous problems in your family, but I can't deny what I feel for you."
My head was spinning. The thought of having Jared for myself was wonderful, but the break-up with Marissa would inevitably involve telling her the truth about our relationship. Mom and Dad would be told, and I would be expelled from the family. I knew they would literally disown me. Would my relationship with Jared be worth being thrown out of my family? The very idea of the coming storm was frightening to me. But I knew it was something I would have to face up to.
We spent the rest of the afternoon basking in the sun, embracing each other, passionately kissing, and making love as if there would not be a tomorrow. Somehow, we both knew that our future together was more uncertain than ever.
Jared and Marissa had planned on staying in New Mexico for two weeks. The last night of their stay came much too quickly. It was agonizing for me because I could not be sure when I would see him again. My stomach stayed in knots all day long. I was so sick I couldn't eat a thing. Jared let everyone know that he wanted to get a good night's rest before the long drive to California, so we both headed for the bunkhouse pretty early. He clutched my hand, leading me upstairs as soon as we had closed the door behind us. My nephews had all gone home days ago, so the entire dorm was ours.
We slowly undressed. We stood there in the room with moonlight streaming in the window just staring into each other's eyes. For a long time, we just looked, not touching at all. His beauty was overwhelming. Finally, he gently brushed his fingers over my chest. He paused briefly on each nipple, with a sensual caress. His fingers moved down my chest, circling my navel over and over again. I moved toward his mouth, kissing him lightly. We pulled together in a full embrace, and pressed our open mouths together, exploring mouth to mouth with our tongues. I moved my hands up and down his back, bringing them to rest on his ass. I pulled his crotch against mine, grinding dick to dick. He moved down to suck and bite my nipples, sending currents of sexual energy through my body. He licked and kissed my arms, my fingers, my feet, my navel. He moved over every inch of my body, stopping at my pulsating crotch. In one movement, he swallowed my entire shaft, then slowly drew his mouth back up. He lingered at the head of my penis, caressing it feverishly with his tongue. Then, he drove all the way back down the length of my cock. While his mouth worked my dick over, his hand was massaging and fondling my balls. I did my best to delay the inevitable, but it didn't take long until I was screaming in pleasure. I emptied myself into the back of his throat. I was exhausted.
I pulled him to his feet, and pushed him back onto the bed. He lay on his back. I found the tube of KY jelly, and lubricated his rigid tool. I straddled his body, and took his shaft into my hole. We began to move in perfect rhythm. He groaned out, "Oh God, Mark! Fuck, that feels good!"
"Oh, fuck me, fuck me," I cried. I wanted to feel every inch of his powerful cock as it penetrated and filled up my anus. I loved having him in me. "Give it to me. I want it all!" I shouted.
We slowed into a steady beat, trying to prolong the joy of the moment. His eyes showed his ecstasy. I could have gone on like this all night. But the moment for climax had come. He gasped loudly, holding his breath with a deep cry. He exhaled in puffs, shooting air out of his mouth as he shot semen into my body. It was a moment in time that I wanted to stay in forever.
We slept very little that night. We fucked over and over, starting up again as soon as either of us could get it up. When we were not having sex, we were touching and kissing, completely intertwined. The morning came much too soon.
They left our house at around 8:00 am on the 26th of June. I stood and watched until the car was out of sight. Then I turned away and walked out into the pasture, my cheeks covered with streaming tears.