A Shift in the Universe Christian Mitchell Copyright 2004
CHAPTER SEVEN:
The rest of the day progressed as usual. Kyle and I didn't talk much about the events of the day. We only had two classes together so there also wasn't much of an opportunity for us to discuss anything. It wasn't until after last period that he and I were able to meet at his locker and chat.
"Well, I guess I need to go talk with Ashley now," he sighed. "Get it over and done with. If I don't, then only God knows who will hear something and start telling others. And if that happened I wouldn't be surprised that my parents were on to us before I even had the chance to tell them myself."
"It seems like everyone is telling us that they already know," I said. "Hell, before we even knew it ourselves!"
Kyle agreed. "It's strange."
"You're right, though. We need to start telling people before they hear it from someone else. And you know how pissed off Tyler would be about that."
He nodded and smiled. "Do you think any of the guys are going to be shocked and upset with us?"
"Probably," I replied. "Shocked - - yes. Upset - - I don't know. I don't think anyone is homophobic. I mean we all hang out with Roger, Sam and Tiffany from time to time. No one has seemed to have a problem with their sexuality."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. But we don't hang out with any of them on a regular basis. We just end up together at the same place from time to time." He glanced at the faces passing in the hall. "I'm gonna find Ashley now."
"Alright. Good luck," I offered.
"Thanks," he smirked. "I'll call you later, okay? Maybe we can get together for dinner or something."
"Sure," I replied. "I'll talk to you in a few hours then."
When I got home I immediately went upstairs to my room and threw myself on the bed. I had the overwhelming desire to take a nap. I didn't want to talk or think about anything at that particular moment. I needed a break from all the drama. Yet, as I tried to will myself to sleep, my mind was in overdrive.
The thought that haunted me the most was one of my sexuality. I seemed so eager to accept Kyle's advances the night of my birthday party. Initially, I was stunned to learn that he had feelings for me, but any reservations I may have had quickly disappeared. And that is what intrigued me the most about the entire situation.
It wasn't the fact that Kyle and I had sex that kept me in a constant struggle with my thoughts. My conversations with my parents did not register as any sort of trauma. It was my swift acceptance of allowing myself to be in love with my best friend and forging a romantic relationship with him that preoccupied me. The true nature of my confusion and fear was my self. I had not yet come to terms with the idea that, for an undetermined amount of time, I was going to be living my life as a homosexual. With time, perhaps I would soon truly identify as bi-sexual. This or that, I had made the decision to be in a relationship with a man. And that was something I honestly never thought about prior to Saturday night.
Because Kyle and I had been best friends for so long, was it silly of me to think that maybe he was the love of my life?
If our relationship failed how would that affect our friendship?
If then, would I wish to continue dating men or return to the soft touch of women?
What scared me the most was the fear that perhaps I really hadn't thoroughly thought about it all. What if I ultimately decided that I actually didn't want to be in a serious and committed relationship with a man? Would I break Kyle's heart?
All these questions were interrupted by a knock on my bedroom door. Then I heard Kyle's voice. "It's me."
"Yeah," I called out.
He walked in and quickly climbed in bed with me. With his strong arms wrapped tightly around my body Kyle spooned me from behind. He planted soft kisses on the back of my neck then rested his forehead against the back of my head.
"Something wrong?" I asked.
"No," he answered. "I just wanted to be with you."
I hugged his arms closer to my body and closed my eyes. "Did you talk to Ashley?"
"Yeah. She's fine. Well, she's not, but you know what I mean. She's still not happy about me breaking up with her the way that I did. She thinks I should have been honest with her from the start. And I probably should have, but I was scared. I mean, I was trying to make sense of what I was feeling for you."
"I understand," I said. "It's been fairly easy for us to adjust. We can't expect that of everyone we know." Kyle whispered," yeah."
It didn't seem like we needed to speak. We seemed to be very comfortable holding each other in complete silence.
I could feel Kyle's breath on my neck each time he exhaled. I could tell he was about to fall asleep. And I felt completely safe and loved in his arms.
I awoke about twenty minutes later. I turned over so that Kyle and I were face to face. He slowly opened his eyes and smiled when he saw me looking at him.
"I don't want this to be a mistake," I said.
"What do you mean?"
"I love you. I want to be with you. But, for whatever reason, if this relationship doesn't work out - - I don't want us to think of it as a mistake.
I don't want to have any regrets."
"It's not a mistake. And I would never think that of us or you."
"My parents are very important to me. My sister, too. And, of course, you. The four of you are the most important people in my life. I don't want to lose that - - ever. If our relationship lasts two years or only two months - - I want you to be a part of my life forever."
"I won't go anywhere," Kyle smiled. "You're part of the oxygen that I breathe. I need oxygen in order to survive, right? I will need you until the day I take my last breath."
There was something very sincere and sweet in Kyle's voice. I could sense that my face was becoming warm and my eyes were about to become watery. It's that feeling one has when you know that tears are about to form. The slow process of feeling each step of the development taking place. Often tears would normally just spring forth except on those rare occasions when you believed that you were in control of the process. And at that moment I knew that I could simply allow my eyes to become watery or surrender and let the tears flow.
"That's a very sweet thing to say," I replied as a single tear rolled out of the corner of my eye. Kyle smiled and grabbed my hand, holding it against his chest.
"Okay, I have a serious question," I said.
"Go ahead."
"Now that we're going into this head on, do you think that you are gay and our relationship is somehow going to allow you to realize that?"
Kyle thought about the question then replied," maybe I am gay. But I'm not thinking about the future without you. I'm only thinking about the future with you. About us. There may be a time in the future when I feel the need to come out of the closet. For me, this isn't about being gay or not. This is about you and me. This is about being with the person that I love."
"I'm on the same page as you," I responded. "I think that there's still some fear to identify myself as gay. But, I think, that might all change once all of our friends and family know about us. Because then our relationship will be out in the open and I really won't have to worry about people finding out or what they think."
"Marcus, it might seem like I'm avoiding the gay issue. In a way, I suppose I am. But I'm not. I'm just trying to take this a step at a time. I guess I'm being cautious."
"Me, too," I smiled. "I'm just waiting to see if our relationship will swear me off women forever."
Kyle leaned closer to me and kissed me on the lips before he started to kiss and suck on my neck. He placed his hands under my shirt and caressed my chest. He moved closer to me and positioned himself almost on top of me.
I ran my hands across his back and lifted his shirt from behind to take it off. He sat up on his knees and started to remove my shirt. Then he unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them off, tossing them to the floor. As he removed his shoes and socks I pushed my underwear off and let them fall to the floor.
My cock was already semi-erect. Kyle tugged on it a few times then he leaned over and placed it in his mouth. He began to bob his head and my dick quickly became hard. I placed my hands on his head and followed the motion as he moved up and down on my shaft. I started to moan and breathe more heavily as the sucking continued.
Kyle pulled himself away from my cock and sat up on his knees again. I reached up and started to unbutton his jeans. He got off the bed to step out of them then returned to lying on top of me. I spread my legs and bent them at the knee as Kyle and I kissed. The sensation that I was feeling was beginning to become overpowering. I wanted Kyle inside me.
Kyle was gently pushing his body up against mine. I felt his hard cock through his underwear as he rubbed its length against my stomach. I placed my hands on his ass and began to push his underwear down. He finished taking them off and returned to pushing himself up against me.
"Don't tease me," I whispered.
Kyle smiled and positioned himself between my legs. He pushed my legs closer to my chest and placed the head of his dick against my ass. He ran his right hand along the side of my face as I tilted my head back. Then I felt him start to penetrate me very slowly and smoothly. Although there was a bit of pain I put my hands on his ass and pushed him into me. When I felt his cock all the way inside I grabbed his face and started to kiss him.
Kyle began to thrust with more force, pulling his cock nearly all the way out before pushing it all the way back in. There were moments when I felt as if I was being invaded because my body still wasn't accustomed to being fucked. Yet, the pleasure was so intense that it conquered any moment of pain or discomfort.
When Kyle would rest his head against my chest I could see his back and ass working as he thrust in and out of me. I wanted to focus on the image because it was such a turn on to me. Yet I often closed my eyes or tilted my head back as he continued to fuck me.
He kissed and sucked on my nipples while my hands caressed his body. I wanted to stroke my dick but I resisted because I wanted to refrain from coming as long as I could.
I was concentrating on the pleasure that Kyle was creating when he suddenly started to thrust with a circular movement. Following a couple circle-thrusts he would push deeper into me. It felt so good that I could not resist grabbing my cock and stroking it hard and fast.
Kyle began to thrust harder and deeper. I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes tightly. "Oh, Kyle. Fuck me, man. Don't stop."
He obeyed orders and fucked me with more force and determination.
"Yeah," I moaned. "I love you."
"I love you, too," he panted.
My cock had become dry. As I was about to spit in my hand Kyle wet his and started to stroke my dick. He would run his hand from the very base of my cock all the way up to the head then down again. A couple minutes passed then I could feel my ejaculation brewing, becoming much stronger and rising from my balls and through my cock. I knew that I was about to explode.
"I'm going to cum," he grunted.
And so did I.
After we collected ourselves and returned from our high we laid in bed next to each other for a while. Kyle was looking directly into my eyes and I could see his mind working in overdrive. I could tell that he wanted to say something. "What?" I asked with a smile.
He didn't respond immediately. He seemed to ponder a thought then he very gently tapped me on top of the head three times as he said," I love you."
I thought it was a bit strange because I wasn't expecting him to do that.
Still, I smiled and I did the only thing I could think of. I very gently tapped his head four times and replied," I love you more."