The man in my dreams

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to any person, whether living or dead, is purely accidental and unintended. Copyright is retained by the Author and reproduction or distribution, in any form and whether for profit or not, without the written permission of the Author, is forbidden.

If reading this type of literature is forbidden in the area where you live, you proceed at your own risk.

All my stories are written for those who have a moderate grasp of English and like a story in which there may be some sex. Any word you do not understand can be found in the Pocket Oxford Dictionary. 1992 edition. gspencer@amitar.com.au

Dedication. To the young man who inspired my vision of Martin, and therefore this story. He is straight in every way you can use that word and knows I am gay. Last time he visited me he told me that if he could have chosen his father, he would have chosen me.

It was the first day of the new school year and I really was not looking forward to it. There were many time when I kicked myself for my stubbornness in refusing to go to a school for the handicapped. It was just that I wanted to get a proper education, not be fed pre-digested pap. Besides, if you went to the school they wanted me to go to, you never got to sit the normal exams. Just because I had cerebral palsy did not mean I was stupid and I refused to be forced into that mould. I wanted to show people that I could overcome my handicap and put my brain to its proper use.

I know I'm an arrogant, strong-willed, stubborn, selfish shithead. I've been told often enough. The funny thing is that it has never been by my parents or my friends, although Martin did once tell me I was stubborn, but he was smiling when he said it. Before you ask, yes I did have friends. Five of the most loyal friends one could ever hope for. Year Ten was the year I made several more and we are still friends today.

The five friends with whom I started that year were Alex, Jocelyn, Roger, Natalie and Robert. They had been my friends since Year Six. That was when I convinced my mother that I should be in an ordinary school. I was twisted but I could walk and talk and hardly ever had muscle spasms by then. I hardly ever had a bad day when I needed to use crutches and I no longer wet myself and needed to change all the time. Mum did insist that I took a change of underwear in a plastic bag, just in case, but I hardly ever had to use it. It was not until high school and mainly in Year Nine that I began to need it again. That was when we got some nasty newcomers who thought it would be fun to tease and harass me. They got me so upset that at times my self-control broke down and I began to get muscle spasms again.

Loganbrae High School was the school where all the kids from surrounding schools went when they wanted to go to university. There were always lots of kids who dropped out, or transferred, after Year Ten and the school took kids from surrounding schools to do Years Eleven and Twelve. They were very successful and most of the seniors got into the Uni courses they wanted. Some of the schools they came from were much rougher than ours and that is why we sometimes got nasty but smart kids in Year Eleven. The Headmaster and all the teachers were very nice and they would not put up with bullying, but they can't be with you everywhere you go. The way the new boys had treated me last year was why I was worried about going back to school.

The gang was waiting for me as I got off the bus. They were so excited that you would have thought it was months since we saw each other instead of a few days. They told me later they thought I might give up because of the harassment. They hadn't realised how stubborn I am. They had tried their best to keep me from being bullied but they were no match for my tormentors.

The first couple of weeks were easy. Probably because of everyone settling into new classes and new routines. The influx of new kids seemed to be the same as usual and we soon settled into the year's work. It was in the third week that the bullies began to appear. I was on my way to lunch and to meet the gang under our big tree. As I was walking past the bottom of the stairs I was knocked over by Arvi Properjohn, who was talking to Rogerson and not looking where he was going. I tried to get up, but I need to hold on to something when I'm down on the ground.

"What the hell? Look where you're going shithead. Oh look Rogerson it's the spas. Getting even clumsier than last year spas? Going to shit your pants for us?" Then he laughed and nudged his mate who was laughing at his sally.

"I would have thought someone of your age and intelligence would have learned better behaviour by now." A strong pair of hands clamped under my armpits and lifted me to my feet. He was behind me and I had no idea who it was. "It appears you may be even more intellectually disabled than he's physically disabled. You're certainly more socially inept, and in need of help if you aren't to fall flat on your social face."

"Shut your face or I'll shut it for you."

"Resorting to violence is a futile exercise. If you have to do that then you've already lost the argument. I usually avoid it but, if it's the only way you're capable of arguing, I will accommodate you any time and place of your choosing."

"You're a smart arse. You're new and stupid, you're going to piss yourself before we're through." Rogerson was angry.

"I see! You're only brave enough to go one-on-one if your opponent is already disabled. For someone like me you cowards need to be at least two on one. Now I know the score I'll be ready."

There was quite a crowd around us by now and there was a call of "Teacher" from the back. Within seconds we were alone and he took his hands away and bent to pick up my bag. As I began to move I realised I had the biggest woody ever. All I could hope was that my trousers were baggy enough for it not to be too obvious.

"What seems to be the trouble Mr Rockwell?" Mr Fergusson asked.

"No trouble sir. I was just helping this young man up."

"You're not in trouble are you William?"

"O nooo Hir."

Mr Fergusson smiled at both of us. "Judging by the report from Mr Rockwell's old school, I didn't think you would be, but I was just checking." Then he walked away. I turned to take my bag and almost shot my load. I was looking at the nearest thing to a god I had ever seen. He was better than any of the models in my secret store of magazines. Not much taller than me, probably 180cm, with the most amazing hazel eyes and soft brown hair.

"Are you OK now William or would you like some more help?"

"I'm fine Mr Rockwell. Thanks for your help."

"My name is Martin and all my friends use it. I'm only Rockwell to strangers or people I don't like. I hope you're not offended if I think of you as a friend, and ask you to call me Martin too?"

"Oh no I'm not offended. It's always nice to make new friends."

"Well you'd better get down to the tree before your friends start worrying about you, and I had better find Damien before he starts worrying about me."

He went in one direction and I went in the other. I almost floated down to the gang and told them everything (except about the woody) and answered their questions as best I could. They did seem to look at me a bit strangely as I described his strong hands and broad shoulders. Natalie and Jocelyn were nudging each other when I described his captivating eyes, strong nose and beautiful smile. They seemed really pleased that we now had another ally who may become another friend.

I didn't know I had fallen in love, or was it lust? I had never thought much about the mechanical side of sex. Everyone assumes you don't have sexual feelings when you're handicapped, but they're wrong. They find it easier to avoid thinking about it because there is so little possibility of someone like me finding a satisfactory sexual outlet, let alone a partner. I had just grown up thinking I would always be single. I might have dreamed of how I would like to be treated by one of the guys in my magazines, but I had never dreamed it might be possible. Now I desperately wanted it to be possible. Now I wanted to be held and fondled by the very real Martin Rockwell.

That night I did not wait to have a wet dream. I wanked for the very first time. I had never wanted to before then. I was content to let my balls take care of emptying themselves and to enjoy the impossible dreams they gave me. I discovered some of my fingers are too clawed to straighten enough to hold my prick and they don't have much strength. I had to use the backs of the fingers and both hands to get it to work, but it certainly did work. The trouble was, it was so overwhelming it caused my brain to fire random signals everywhere and I spasmed for five minutes at least after cumming. Fortunately no one heard me and came to investigate. It did make me rather sad though, I realised I would never be able to pleasure my partner that way, if I did manage to get one.

The next few weeks were pretty quiet on the trouble front. I think they were too busy to even think about me. We often saw Martin with another boy who was in Year Eight. They were sufficiently alike for them to be brothers, although the younger boy was much more slightly built than Martin. Whenever we met Martin in the halls he was friendly and kind and the gang began to really like him. Jocelyn even said to me that I wasn't exaggerating, he really was a hunk. I think she might have realised I was gay, but I never said anything and neither did she.

It was two weeks before semester's end when I found we had acquired two other bullies in the new intake. I was on my way to the bus after school when they saw me. The gang were on different buses so I was alone. They stood in my way and I'm not quick enough on my feet to get around anyone who wants to stop me.

"Looky looky Moshe. They even let spastics into this school."

"What a bummer Thommo, fancy having to breathe the same air as this sort of shit. Why aren't you in a Home where normal people don't have to look at you?"

I was tired and this was getting to me, I hit overload and I began to get the shakes. Then it happened again.

"David Thompson, Moshe Aarons, how many times do you need to be told before it sinks into your thick skulls? This is unacceptable behaviour. I find it hard to believe that you could be so stupid Moshe. People discriminate against you because of your religion, and yet you have no empathy for anyone else who's in the same position. It says volumes about your character, and none of it's good. Get yourselves out of here and leave my friend alone."

"Trust you to interfere Rockwell. You must have every lame dog and stray cat in the city in your backyard."

"Whatever you say Thompson. You know my opinion I've had to tell you often enough. Get lost and never interfere with William again or you'll get the rough edge of my tongue." They left, swearing at him as they did, but it was very quietly.

I stood there shaking like a leaf. Then I saw my bus leaving without me. How was I going to get home? The shaking began to become a real spasm. I managed to get out an anguished "Bus". Suddenly those strong hands were holding me again and his voice was gentle in my ear.

"Shhh, shhh. You're safe now Will. I have you and nothing bad is going to happen. Calm down and get control again my friend. We will take you home. There's nothing for you to worry about."

It was too late. Urine was running down my leg and puddling beside my shoe.

"Damien, bring his bag. We'll use the wash room near the car park."

He almost carried me, and I'm no lightweight. We seemed to get there in under a minute. The moment the door was shut my pants were off. I always wear pants that are baggy enough to go over my shoes. I could see his face as he worked. There was not the slightest sign of revulsion, only compassion, and dare I believe love?

"There should be a spare pair of briefs in his bag." He must have been talking to the gang to have known that.

I got my first good look at Damien as Martin was removing my shoes and then my briefs. He is shorter than Martin and has this amazing red-gold hair. He is slim and he grew to be wiry but strong, rather than broad like Martin. He pulled out my spare briefs and washrag and stood up. His eyes were the same colour as Martin's and just as riveting. The pair of us just stood there looking into each other's eyes. They were blue, then golden-brown then green, and so mesmerisingly beautiful. I have no idea what he was seeing but I was so lost in him that I just didn't care. Then I got embarrassed and looked away.

Isn't it stupid? Here I was embarrassed about having everything on show when people had been seeing me like this all my life. You soon learn not to be embarrassed about it. Alex, Roger and Robert have all had to help me a few times over the years and I never felt like this in front of them. It wasn't Martin it was Damien that made me feel this way. Martin took the washrag and dried the leg of my trousers. He put my wet briefs in the sink with the tap running and wet the cloth. He began to wash me from the ankle up. I started getting hard.

"Don't worry Will. We'll soon have you cleaned up and be on our way. I'll rinse your briefs so you don't have the smell of them in your bag."

I looked at him and got so hard it hurt. The gentle way he was working up my leg really turned me on. The expression on Damien's face is hard to describe. I think wonderment would be the closest I could get. I'm not all that long but I have one like a small salami or a coke can. Damien could not take his eyes off it. I began to blush but my blood was needed elsewhere. Martin just kept washing. He peeled back the foreskin and washed there. I just had time to say "cumming" and it began to shoot. He held me as the inevitable twitches set in but I was not too bad that time, and they were over in just a couple of minutes. He threw the rag into the sink and just stroked my face while it was happening. He had this beautiful, loving smile on his face.

"Don't be embarrassed Will. It could happen to anyone. I'm not upset or embarrassed by your doing it. You're my mate and helping is what mates are for."

Embarrassed? God in Heaven! Here I was virtually naked, held gently but securely in the arms of the sexiest boy I had ever seen and cumming my balls off. I wasn't embarrassed. I was in heaven. I laid my head on his shoulder and kissed his neck, and then I whispered "Thank you".

He squeezed the washcloth and began to clean me up again. There was a really mischievous look on his face. "You can dream all you want my sweet friend, but don't get your hopes up. I'm not that way inclined. I have a girlfriend and we're planning on getting married as soon as we're able." I already knew that. One of the boys had told Robert about his girlfriend Melinda and Robert had told us.

"I do know of someone who might be interested. But he will have to get over his shyness first." Damien was looking at the floor and blushing. I didn't realise what it meant back then.

They cleaned up the mess and dressed me again and all too soon we were on our way to the car park. Damien ran ahead and unlocked a silver Corolla only a few years old. I was home only five minutes later than the bus got me there. Of course I had to put my briefs in to be washed and that brought the questions about why I had needed to use them. I think Mum was satisfied with my explanation and she certainly was impressed when I told her how Marin had demolished the bullies with only a couple of sentences.

That night over dinner I got a few questions from Dad. That made Dolores and Julian look very uncomfortable. So what's new? They were always uncomfortable around me. They even tried to avoid bringing their friends home if they thought they might have to see me. Mum and Dad tried to get them to change but it was a waste of time.

"There are a couple of things I need to know William. Are you still comfortable about going to Loganbrae and having to put up with this kind of harassment? And who exactly is this Martin Rockwell? He sounds like a really good friend. I know a Bill Rockwell who has two sons. His wife was killed in that terrible train crash where that idiot drove his truck into the side of a train at the level crossing in Camberwell. I haven't seen him much since then"

"Yes Dad. I still want to keep going. Things can only get better now Martin's there. He really looks out for me and he can cut anyone down to size. He's never spoken about his father so I have no idea if he is the son of this Bill Rockwell. I do know that his brother is Damien and that his girlfriend is Melinda."

"Melinda what dear?" Mum asked.

"I think Roger said it was Loomis, why?"

Mum and Dad exchanged funny looks and then Dad asked. "Do you know anything about his mother?"

"Jocelyn told us that Damien told her brother his mother was dead."

"That's fine Son. I think you just might have found yourself a very strong and trustworthy new friend." Then Dad left the table. So did I. No one trusts me with anything breakable and I had other jobs to do.

That night I had the most wonderful dream ever. Martin was holding me in his arms and kissing and fondling me. I woke up to find myself shooting another huge load. The trouble was that I only had a few seconds to enjoy it before the spasms hit. I was so exhausted that I just went back to sleep without cleaning up. Twice in about twelve hours was a record for me. Especially considering that it had only been once every week or so, up until a couple of months ago.

The next day I was waiting for Mrs Walton to start English Literature. I was looking through our book of poems. I opened it at random and saw this little poem by Tennyson. I had never thought that people could be compared to animals except in the wildest flights of fantasy, but this poem about an eagle made me instantly see Martin.

He clasps the crag with crooked hands;

Close to the sun in lonely lands,

Ringed with the azure world he stands.

The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;

He watches from his mountain walls,

And like a thunderbolt he falls.

I got this dreamy feeling. Martin was almost treating me as if I was his baby brother, his chick. Eagles are well known for looking after their chicks with great care and gentleness. They are often away hunting but they have phenomenal eyesight and can see details from miles away. The way he had come down on those two yesterday was like a thunderbolt. His talons were his brilliant mind and his sharp tongue and he could kill almost anything short of a bull with them. No snake could survive him. If danger came near his chick he would tear it apart. I might not be able to see him, but he was out there watching. Circling in the sun on huge powerful wings. My eyes misted up and I have no idea how I got through that period.

I know it was over the top. Way out there in fantasy land, but it was how I felt that day. I have never changed my mind about that poem being a description of him.

The gang had heard about the incident the day before and I had to tell them all about it. I didn't try to hide the fact that Martin had needed to clean me up. They had been my friends for long enough to know that sometimes it happened and they were not grossed out. The only thing that Alex asked about it was, 'how did he treat me when he was doing it'. I told him Martin was as gentle and kind as if I was his baby brother. I could see Alex relaxing as I spoke. I think that was the day they all decided that they could trust Martin as much as they trusted each other. It seemed like he had just passed their ultimate test. I told them how I felt about the way he rescued me and I even read them the poem. There were tears in the girls' eyes when I had finished.

Things went well for months, until near the end of winter. No one gave us any trouble. We were walking back from West block to East block. As almost everyone did, Alex and I took the shortcut across the quadrangle, past the gym. I was on crutches because my stupid leg muscles decided to play up with the changes in the weather. Half way across I got this urgent need to shit. The nearest place was the gym and I told Alex. He knew we only had a few minutes before it was too late. He ran and held the door for me since I couldn't manage it with the crutches. We made it into the change room but that is where it fell apart. In there were Properjohn and Rogerson just getting ready to leave.

"Well, well, well. What have we here? It looks like a spastic shithead and his brown nosed mate. Nice to see you again, let's kick things around a bit." He kicked one of my crutches out of my hand.

Alex screamed, "Leave him alone you fucking bullies". Arvi was laughing as he kicked my other crutch and I lost my precarious balance. Rogerson stepped over me and grabbed Alex by the shirt.

"Don't call me names you little shit. I'm going to pulverise you for that." It was too much for me. I lay on the floor and went into a wild fit of spasms. Even in that state I could hear their derisive laughter and the door opening. I was not able to keep still for long enough to know exactly what happened, but Rogerson suddenly staggered across the room and hit the wall. As my head swung back I could see my Eagle standing over me. He looked proud and defiant and very dangerous.

"You two will meet me in the park after school. I'll be down near the bush at four and you will be there. If you're not the whole school will know by this time tomorrow." The door opened again and I could hear Mr Cook's voice.

"What's going on in here? Rogerson, Properjohn, what are you still here for? Get to your classes NOW!" The door squeaked again. "What can we do for him?"

Martin was already doing it. He was holding my feet and taking off my shoes. I smelt pretty bad as shit and piss dribbled into my pants but he never paused for a second. "I think he needs a shower Sir, and I'll need Alex to help me."

"It's a waste of time asking you how this happened, and guesses are not good enough. Do whatever you need to and I'll get you permission to be absent from class. Stay with them Wilson and do whatever Mr Rockwell tells you. Every 'Knight in Shining Armour' needs a Squire." It's a funny thing but no one ever thought of shortening his name to Marty, and the teachers often referred to him as Mr Rockwell. Even at seventeen he was held in that sort of respect.

It was the worst relapse I ever had. Even when Damien and I made love for the first time, I was nowhere near as bad as that. I suspect it was because of my fear of Joe Rogerson beating up Alex. A couple of kids from the next class came in for a piss, and I could see the revulsion on their faces as they saw my drooling mouth and waving limbs, and I smelt. Martin was holding my legs so I was not being pushed from side to side. He put his arms around my body and lifted me.

"Trousers Alex. Try not to get them dirty."

Then he laid me on the floor again while he stripped. He turned on the shower and held me up while Alex took off my shirt and vest. Then with loving gentleness he lifted me over his shoulder and took me under the warm, cleansing, spray of water.

I was hanging over his shoulder as he knelt and removed my underpants. I saw Mr Cook come from the weights room and hand Alex two towels. He looked worried and sorry, but he wasn't angry. Martin stayed there for a minute and he washed my briefs out. He threw them behind him on the change room floor.

"Wring them out Alex and get his clean ones. Do you need to clean his trousers?"

Mr Cook spoke. "I'll have Mr Brown clean his trousers up and put them over the heater in the weights room to dry. I have to get back but if you need anything come and ask."

He washed me from my hair to my toes. He made sure there was not a skerrick of dirt left on me. Even when he was washing around my hole and my dick he didn't get horny. His beautiful ornament was hard against my skin and I could feel it swell, but I don't think it was even half hard. I was in no state to get my usual woody. My muscles were still spasming and I was feeling humiliated. There seemed to be a constant stream of kids needing a piss and they stopped to stare with mouths open and faces curled in disbelief or disgust. Just because my brain can't control my muscles doesn't mean it stops working. I could see them. Alex tried to get them out, and was becoming pretty angry with them.

Martin must have known what was going on but he behaved as if this was the most normal thing in the world. "Calm down Will. Don't let them get to you. If you let them upset you they win and they don't deserve to win. You're worth ten of them. Just let yourself relax and your control will come back. Please dear Will try to relax. Take your anger out on me. Punch me if you have to. I'll take everything you dish out just so these ghouls don't have the satisfaction of winning."

His words seemed to work. I could feel myself beginning to regain control but the tension from muscles that had knotted up was becoming excruciatingly painful. I managed to throw my arms around his neck and I cried into his shoulder. He held me and gently patted my back until the sobbing stopped. That gave me back my control but it still left the pain from the knotted muscles and the humiliation. He was so gentle as laid me on a towel on the bench seat to dry me and then laid a shirt over me while he dried himself.

"See if we can use a massage table and if Mr Cook or Mr Brown can give us some massage oil. We have to get these knots out of his muscles before they get so painful they set him off again." Alex was off like a shot. He was back in just a minute.

"All set Martin. Shall I take his legs?" I could see Alex's eyes. Talk about a bad case of hero worship. Who am I to talk? If I had been in any state to do it I would have thrown myself at his feet and begged him to let me show him how I felt. I would have given him my virginity. I would have sucked him dry. I'd have done anything he asked to show him how I felt right then.

They picked me up and carried me into the weights room, still with my strategically placed shirt on. Mr Brown was holding the door for us and he had a clean towel spread on the massage table. There were a couple of kids in there finishing up, but they just ignored us. I think they were embarrassed because Martin was still naked. Alex had come back before he had finished drying himself and he hadn't waited to put anything on. He was treating me as if I was the most important person in the world and his own modesty was irrelevant. Mr Brown handed him a little hand towel and he slipped it under the shirt and over my equipment before he lifted the shirt away. I was in absolute awe that he could be so careful of my modesty and so careless about his own. I could see that Alex felt the same and so did Mr Brown.

I am sure that man is a natural healer. I have never had a massage like the ones he gives. Massages from Damien are a pure delight, but they never heal the way his do. Even now, if I have a bad spasm and get knotted up, if Damien can't release the tension he calls Martin. He worked on every muscle in my body both front and back. While he was working on my back I got a woody. Talk about embarrassing. It was nothing to what happened next. He was working on the muscle in the top of my thigh when it happened. I couldn't help it. I just started squeaking and bounced my dick on the table a few times while I shot my load. His reaction was instant. He draped the towel over my buttocks and put his arm around me, turning me a little to face him.

"Please forgive me for being so careless Will. I've embarrassed you, and I feel awful. You've had enough embarrassment and humiliation without my stupidity adding to it."

"Noooo! Not you! Me." I burst into tears.

Then Alex was at my side, holding my hand and brushing the tears away. "It's alright Willie. Don't cry. It was an accident."

"Shhh, shhh, my sweet Will. I know how you feel about me. I should have been more careful. Don't be upset. There's nothing to be ashamed of." I opened my eyes and looked straight into Mr Brown's face. He was kneeling between the two of them. There was an instant pang of fear, but it shrank into nothingness as he spoke.

"Don't get upset. No one will ever know that this happened. Your friends will never tell and neither will I. I don't think any the less of you because of this. It could happen to anyone. You're still recovering from a very traumatic experience and this was just too much for your poor body to bear. Be brave. Hold your head up. Don't let the bastards win just because of a little thing like this." He really meant it. I could see it in his face. He handed Martin a damp cloth. "Clean him up and get dressed. Throw the towels in that bin there. I'll keep everyone out until you're ready." He dropped a few drops of a stinking liniment into the bin then he went and stood outside the door from the gym. Martin cleaned me and Alex had my underpants ready the moment I was dry. Alex had the towels in the bin as soon as I moved off the big one. He came back with my trousers.

While Martin was dressing Mr Cook peeked around the door from the change room. Seeing we were presentable he came in. I was sitting on a stool and Alex was holding me up. I was just so floppy from the massage and everything. Mr Cook spoke very loudly, looking me straight in the eyes.

"William Gosport, you are one of the bravest people I have ever met." At that Mr Brown opened his door and the next batch of weight lifters came in. "I said one of the bravest because the two people alongside you are every bit as brave as you are. You have some of the greatest and most loyal friends anyone could ever have. It doesn't take a genius to guess what happened, but guesses are no good in a court of law. If they were I would have had them arrested before they left the building. If I ever see anyone treat you like that, I'll have them out of this school the same day. I've rung your mother and you're to go home and rest. Mr Rockwell, would you be able to take Mr Gosport home?"

"Of course I will sir."

"Mrs Gosport will help you with him when you get there. Do you want Mr Wilson to help you to the car?" We were used to Martin getting this sort of respect but what was he doing treating Alex and me the same way?

"If he could sir."

"You three are an object lesson to this school. On your way then gentlemen and walk with pride Will Gosport. You're a rare and precious individual. Dodson, you can carry their bags down. Mr Gosport will not be able to carry his and Mr Rockwell will need to help him." The weightlifters were standing there with their mouths open, as if they were catching flies.

On the way down to the car Alex asked him how he had known about us being attacked. Martin had been walking past the change-room window, and had heard Alex yell. I almost melted inside when we got to the car. They put me in as gently and carefully as if I were an incredibly expensive piece of artwork.

When we got home Mum never asked a thing. I was feeling stronger and insisted on using my crutches. Martin walked behind me with his hands ready to catch me if I stumbled and Mum brought my bag. Martin told Mum he thought it would be less embarrassing for me if he put me in my pyjamas and Mum never said a word, but I saw her hold his hand for a minute before she left. I think there were tears in her eyes. She brought me a warm drink and a snack but Martin said he had a small matter that needed attention and left. The moment he was gone Mum came back and sat on the bed.

"Mr Cook told me what he guessed had happened and what that young man and Alex did for you. I don't want any details. I just wanted to let you know that I am so sorry for you that this happened and yet I am so proud of you and of your friends. Bring them home some time so that your father can meet them. I think he would like that. Rest now darling and if you don't feel like getting up for dinner that will be fine."

That night, over dinner I got the first inkling of what Martin's "small matter" was really about. Julian couldn't sit still and Mum asked him what the matter was. He just looked down and said "Nothing". Dad grinned at him. "Spit it out Tiger. What's the exciting news?"

"Martin Rockwell beat the.... ah.... er.... beat up Arvi Properjohn and Joe Rogerson this afternoon. They went into the bush at the back of the park and only Rockwell walked out. No one was allowed to watch in case someone called the police." I went white as a ghost. With all the other things that had happened I had forgotten what he told them before they left. Dad looked at me with a worried face.

"What's the matter Will? Are you feeling ill again?"

"No. I'm OK. It's nothing."

"It's not nothing," Mum intervened. "They were the ones in the change room weren't they! Martin did that to them because of what they did to you! That's what it was about wasn't it?"

"I think so Mum."

"When you make friends you sure manage to pick the good ones son." Dad was looking serious. "I would never have thought of Martin Rockwell resorting to violence. I wonder what his father will say. It must have been nasty for him to get that angry. I'd better ring Bill tomorrow."

My eyes were tearing up. "May I be excused please?" Mum was looking sympathetic. "Of course darling, I'll bring your sweets along later and see if you feel like them then."

I cried myself to sleep thinking of the danger Martin had put himself in just because of me. I woke to the feel of someone gently stroking my hair. It was Dad.

"Are you feeling better Tiger? You're worried about Martin aren't you? I just nodded and pulled myself up on the pillow. Dad tucked another behind me and took my hand. "Well you can stop worrying. Your mother wouldn't let me wait until tomorrow to ring Bill. She insisted I ring him tonight. He was going to ground Martin for two weeks and take his car away until I explained why he had been fighting. He told me he was proud of his son for what he had done but he couldn't let him get away without some penalty so he's grounded for two weeks and he gets to keep the car. He's alright, just a lot of bruises and a blood nose. He'll be at school tomorrow but he'll be pretty stiff and sore. I hope Melinda won't be too upset. Mum is going to ring Jasmine tomorrow and explain."

"You mean Mum's friend Jasmine is Melinda's Mum?"

"Indeed I do. Melinda has known you since you were babies. I'm surprised you didn't realise who his girlfriend is."

"I've never thought about it and I never could remember their family name."

Dad laughed. He put a plate of apple pie and cream in my hand. "Eat this Tiger and Mum will bring you a cup of cocoa."

The next morning the doorbell rang while we were still eating breakfast. Mum came back with Martin and Damien in tow. "Mr Rockwell has instructed Martin to drive William to and from school every day, if we're agreeable. What do you think dear?"

"That's extremely generous, but how do you feel about this Martin? It's a bit out of your way." Dad stood up and walked over to take Martin's hand. " It would be our pleasure and honour if you were to look after Will. You're welcome in this house at any time. I want to hug you for what you did, but I won't try to touch you, your father told me how bruised you are."

"The honour's mine Mr Gosport. Your son's the bravest person I've ever met. He's as stubborn as hell, but by God he's got guts."

I almost melted inside. The Eagle thought I was brave. If only he knew how frightened I was. Dad was grinning from ear to ear. Julian jumped up and grabbed his bag. "Can I come too?"

"There's room for everyone." Martin was smiling. Dolores gave a snort and turned her back.

"Be the snob then." Julian told her. "More room for us."

Our first trip was pretty quiet for obvious reasons. Martin was hurting, Damien was shy, and Julian and I were not yet comfortable enough to initiate conversation with this demigod. That changed long before Friday came around. Martin drove past the front of the school and tooted the horn at Alex and Jocelyn. Their bus was the first one in. Alex ran down to the car park and Jocelyn stayed to collect the others.

When Alex got to the car I got this silly impression in my head. I thought he was going to fall on his knees at Martin's feet. "How are you Martin? Do you need any help?"

"I'm just a bit sore mate and I think I'll need a hand to get Will out of the car."

"I'll do it." Alex ran around to my side. Instead of just offering me his arm as usual, he wrapped his arms around my chest and lifted me to my feet. "How are you Willie? I hope you're feeling better. You should have been here yesterday. He was awesome."

"That's enough Alex. You know I don't like gossiping."

"Get used to it Martin. I wasn't the only one there and you can't stop all of them. What about Mr Cook and Mr Brown? Think they won't tell every teacher in the school what happened? You thought they only came at the end but they were there when you took them into the bush. Anyway I'll only tell the absolute truth. You went home before Properjohn and Rogerson crawled out looking as if a truck had hit them. They almost shit their pants when they saw Cook and Brown. You didn't hear Mr Cook tell them that if they were stupid enough to do that again they would be facing him and Mr Brown. It was fantastic."

We could all see Martin wince as he locked the car. "They're not the only ones who feel as if a truck hit them. I just hope I never have to do that again. It's only worth it if they leave Will alone."

Julian picked up Martin's bag and slung it on his other shoulder. He was almost strutting as we made our way in the back entrance. The rest of the gang were just coming down to meet us. Martin took his bag and told us he needed to rest so he was just going to sit in the classroom and relax for a few minutes. Everyone was talking at once and Alex hardly managed to tell us any details before the bell rang. Julian and Damien asked if they could sit with us at lunchtime and we were glad to have them. The bush wasn't so thick it concealed everything, and they wanted all the gory details as much as the rest of us.

By lunchtime it seemed as if the whole school had heard about the fight. I have no idea where Martin went but no one saw him, except his class, until the last bell. We got every detail more than once because people kept coming up and asking Alex if this or that was true. People kept looking at me as if I was the one who had won the fight, and Julian was basking in the reflected glory of being my brother and being driven around by this week's hero. Damien just looked embarrassed most of the time, but I noticed he kept sneaking these little looks at me and I couldn't help smiling every time I caught him. It was cute. That was the end of my being picked on. No one made another nasty remark in my hearing for the rest of the year. Things were a bit less tense on the way home. Julian and Damien started to become friends and talked a lot. Julian ended up being proud to be my brother and he is still as proud today.

The next morning Dad delayed leaving for work until Martin and Damien arrived. He had a message for Martin. "We've been getting some phone calls about the incident on Monday. I want to tell you about them so that you don't get worried. The first thing is that some of them are implying you have been doing indecent things to William. I didn't even listen to the end before telling them they were vicious lying rumour-mongers and I would have the police on them if I ever found them saying such a thing again. If you had been mistreating William I would have known about it long before this. He's not afraid to speak his mind and we've learned to read him pretty well, so he couldn't conceal it for long. Sit down for a minute. There are a couple more things I need to say."

Dolores flounced out the front door looking at us as if we all had leprosy. Mum brought them a glass of orange juice. "Joan rang Jasmine to ask if they had been getting the same thing and to explain to Melinda why you were grounded. Jasmine and Melinda thought it was some sort of joke, and had laughed at the callers. Melinda and William were together quite a lot when they were babies, so Melinda knows the problems William has and she knows you inside out young man. She told me that you are one of these people who just can't resist helping other people, and the more love you give away the more you seem to have to give her. You never told her the name of the boy you were helping and she was delighted to find it was Will. She isn't upset at your father grounding you, although she isn't all that pleased either."

I nearly sprayed my mouthful of cornflakes over the table when Dad said the next bit. "We know that Will is gay and he's over sixteen now so if you had done anything it would be perfectly legal and he would probably be delighted. He thinks you're the reason the sun rises in the morning." He looked at me over his glasses. "Your hiding place for your magazines is not the most secure. Even Julian can find them and ask me awkward questions about them." Julian was blushing big time and looking at the floor. "However I also know that nothing out of the ordinary happened. He has not been the least bit evasive in telling us what happened on the occasions you had to help him. One of the reasons he adores you is the considerate and gentle way you treated him. Did you realise he is gay?"

"Yes I did, but it makes no difference to me. He isn't the only gay person I know and I find them to be no different to anyone else. In fact they're more to my taste than some of the straight boys I know. I made it plain to him, very early on, that I wasn't interested in him that way but that I would be as good a friend to him as I was able to be."

"My dear Martin, no one could ask for you to be a better friend than you've been. You've put yourself on the line for him and risked far more than a nasty beating. You must have known what your father's reaction would be when he found out, yet you did it anyway. No wonder these two and Melinda think you're a hero. I do too and so does Joan. By heaven young man, I'm his father. I love him with all my heart, and I'm not sure I could have conducted myself with the savoir-faire and dignity that you did. I'm going to ring your father and ask him to allow us to show you just how much we appreciate what you did. That includes you Damien. William told us how you helped and how he's never felt the slightest hint of rejection or distaste from you. Besides Julian would never forgive me if I left you out. At dinner last night he was carrying on as if you were a finalist for friend of the year." Julian was blushing again, so was Damien. "Get to school before you're late. Just remember, the rumours are known for what they really are by everyone that matters. I intend to ring Joe Cook and tell him to squash them if they spring up at school and I'll be speaking to your father later today. Now get going."

Everyone was waiting at the car park for us. Jocelyn had her brother Fred with her and Natalie's friend Carol Bostock was there. She had a letter from Melinda for Martin. No one saw Martin again that day until PE. He was coming in as we were leaving. Mr Cook saw him and greeted him with a big grin.

"What a sight. I think you had better do a lighter routine than usual. Mr Brown has a special routine for you, designed to get Knights back into working condition. It's fortunate for you that we're both getting so old our eyesight is not what it should be. There's a rule, which requires suspension for fighting if any teacher sees it, even outside school hours. It's fortunate the bush was so thick we couldn't see what happened," he winked very obviously, "and guesses are not good enough."

Before we left Martin gave Roger a letter to give Carol for delivery to Melinda. Over the next two weeks there were several more in both directions. I wonder if his father ever found out how they got around his phone ban. I found out later just how proud of Martin he was so I don't think he would have complained.

It's just as well Dad makes a lot of money as a financial analyst, because he put on a magnificent dinner for Martin. Dolores got very shirty and refused to attend. Mum was going to force her and they had a big argument. When Dad heard the argument he told Dolores she was not welcome at the dinner. He was giving it to show Martin how much we appreciated what he had done and he did not want her there to be obnoxious and spoil it. That made her even angrier, but Dad was adamant. He didn't just invite the Rockwells but also the Loomis family Alex, Robert, Jocelyn, Natalie and Roger. We had a private room in a five star restaurant and there was very little formality. Dad did insist on just one toast, he had told me before the dinner that I had to propose it. I knew just what I wanted to say.

"To have wonderful friends is a blessing and I have been blessed with five of the best. But this year I have found another one who is so wonderful I don't have words to tell you what he has done for me. He has taught me more about friendship and love in the few short months I have known him than I learned in the sixteen years before I met him. He has brought me more friends and made Julian my friend as well as my brother. I propose a toast to the most wonderful, kind and loving friend anyone could ever have, Martin Rockwell." I was crying but I stood as straight and strong as I could. I was proud, not ashamed. I know I wasn't the only one crying.

I got so many hugs that night that I was almost bruised by the time I got home. Alex whispered in my ear that I had said just what he wanted to say. Melinda gave me a big kiss as well and she couldn't say much because of her tears. She did manage to tell me she was glad Martin was my friend. Even Mr Rockwell gave me a hug.

Carol and Fred decided to join the gang under the tree at lunchtime and became permanent fixtures as Julian and Damien had. The next year, their classmates christened the three younger boys the Three Musketeers.

Martin, Julian, Damien and I became close friends. In fact we became such good friends that we often went to the Rockwell house with them after school. Sometimes the others came too, and were always welcome. Melinda was there quite a lot and there were often friends from their old school. Once you were Martin's friend you never wanted to let him go. That was when I got to know Damien better and began to look at him differently. We even began to talk to each other and I began to see into a person every bit as wonderful as Martin, different, but just as wonderful.

Damien was even shyer than I was back then, but that began to change the next year. He's six months older than Julian and we had a birthday party for Julian's fifteenth birthday. Dad let him have his first big party. It was on a Sunday and he invited all the gang and some of his other friends from school. Mum insisted he have it at home and bought in a lot of food. There were just too many for her to do it all.

Damien was sitting in a chair facing me and I was in my special chair. We were in the dining room and there were people wandering around us all the time getting food. We were talking about a television programme on Nigeria and how the oil companies were raping the country. Thinking about their suffering, I got upset and started to get teary. Damien got up and put an arm around my shoulder.

"What are you up to? Are you a little poofter like dribbling Willie?" Dolores was standing there with a look of disgust on her face.

Before anyone else could react Martin's voice came from the doorway like a clap of thunder. "Damien is my brother and he's not a poofter. In case you're unaware of it. Poofter is a term which implies difficulty with the gender role one has and it implies that a person is revolting, disgusting and beneath contempt. The only person in this room that fits that description is yourself." Dolores tossed her head and was going to flounce out the other door. Dad was blocking it and wouldn't let her out.

"Stay right there young lady and listen to what Martin has to say. You and I will have a discussion later, but it's time you faced the truth about yourself." There was a crush of kids trying to hear what Martin and Dad were saying. They didn't have much trouble. Martin was using that penetrating voice he uses so effectively in court.

Martin looked apologetically at Damien. "Damien is gay. He has no problems with this and neither does his family. William is gay and I wish I could say the same for him, but there is one fly in the ointment, you. You're so wrapped up in yourself, your image, and your own selfish little world that other people are just a nasty inconvenience you have to put up with. At least try to understand this, they are GAY. They have no problems with their gender role, they are sexually attracted to people of their own gender, and not in conflict about whether they're male or female. They are two wonderful, brave and kind people who happen to be different. They're not sluts who try to get off with anything in pants. They're two young men trying to make sense of the world and get along in it despite the difficulties they face. One of the greatest difficulties they face is selfish, narrow-minded people like you. I doubt that anything will alter your mind but I intend to change your behaviour. If I ever hear of you speaking about Damien or your brother like that again, I'll tell all your university colleagues, since I doubt you have any friends, my opinion of why you're saying these things. I doubt you will like the consequences. Let her go Mr Gosport. I think we would all feel much better if she weren't here."

Dolores dashed off in a temper tantrum, screaming obscenities at everyone. Martin looked almost ashamed as he spoke to us both. "I'm sorry about that. I just reacted. I didn't mean to out you to the whole school. I was just so angry that she was treating you that way I never thought that you might not have told your friends about yourselves yet." What happened next made both of us cry and showed him he didn't have to worry.

Alex walked around the table and lifted me into a hug. "My friend. Now and forever." Then he hugged Damien and said the same thing. That started the procession and every one of the gang, including Fred and Melanie, came and did and said the same to both of us. That left Julian who had this wicked smile on his face. Martin looked at him enquiringly. Just to be different he started with Damien. He wrapped him in a hug that looked as if he was crushing him. "You're still the best candidate for friend of the year, just keep your paws off my brother until you're old enough." Damien was blushing like a bushfire. Then it was my turn.

I really did think he would hurt me he was hugging me so fiercely. "I used to think Dolores was right until a certain someone we know showed me how stupid I was being, and showed me what a brave and wonderful brother you are. I'm not blind, just don't get yourself caught for another six months." My mouth hung open. What did he mean?

That left our real problem, the other kids from their year. Martin had his arms draped over Damien's shoulders and was holding him to his chest. Julian stood beside me with his arm around me. He looked at them. "What are you lot going to do? Are you going to out them to the whole school? Make your minds up. If you can keep this to yourself that's all I ask. I don't care if you don't want to be friends anymore, just don't make it harder for them than it already is."

I hadn't really counted but I think there were six boys and five girls. They stood there for a minute and looked lost. Then this tall gangly kid got up the courage to move. He walked over to Damien, took his hand and shook it. "It's alright mate. I'm cool with it." Once the ice was broken they made a procession and shook all our hands.

I was feeling fantastic. I was out to everyone that mattered to me and they were all supportive. They weren't just supportive, they were 'cool with it' as that friend of Julian's had said. Mum came from the doorway and took Damien's hand. She looked at Martin and said. "May I?" Martin took his arms away.

Mum wrapped Damien in one of her gorgeous, loving, gentle hugs. "I want to apologise for what happened here today. I never want you to feel rejected or unwelcome in our house. You're as welcome here as your brother and not just because he's your brother but because of who you are. You're Julian and William's friend and a very lovely young man in your own right. It's been even more hurtful for you than for William. She's his sister and he's more used to her than you are. It doesn't make it any better or less hurtful, just easier to shrug off. I don't know what we'll do about Dolores. Her behaviour today was abominable and I never want to see it repeated in this house. Don't let her frighten you away. I'll never let her do anything like that again."

I didn't hear what he whispered in Mum's ear, but he told me later. "I love Will Mrs Gosport. I'll never stop loving him just because of her." Mum pulled back and looked into his face. I could see the tears and the big beaming smile from where I was. She kissed him on the forehead and hugged him tighter. "You have our blessing you sweet, beautiful boy."

Julian and Martin had grins too. They must have guessed what he said, but I had no idea. The party never got its momentum back and people began to leave soon after that, but things changed in ways I never anticipated. Dolores moved out six weeks later and lived in a shared house with other students from Uni. Julian and I spent more time at Rockwells' and Mum and Dad looked pleased about it.

Julian, Melinda and Martin would stay in the lounge room and Damien would take me to his room to talk. The first time it happened I was a bit puzzled by their grins and the shy look on Damien's face, but all three of them kept encouraging us and we went. Damien shut the door and it cut out all the noise from the rest of the house. We just watched a programme he had taped and talked, but he was sitting quite close to me. There was a knock on the door and Martin called it was time for us to go home. Damien gave me a hug before he opened the door and it felt really nice. Martin had this sort of soppy smile on his face as he led us back to the lounge room. Melinda was looking all soppy too and Julian was looking really pleased. I couldn't work it out. Damien told me later that Martin had given him a lecture on how he would have to make all the moves because I didn't believe that anyone could love someone like me in that way. Melinda and Julian were in on the scheme and were willing to do anything Martin asked to help us get together.

It wasn't a whirlwind romance. Damien was still a bit shy and Martin was right. I didn't believe it even when it was happening. It took almost a year before I truly believed it was real and not just some dream that would vanish as soon as I woke. I wasn't a virgin by then, but I still had trouble believing it.

The first time he kissed me was incredible. I must have blacked out and dribbled a bit because when I opened my eyes Damien was wiping my face with a tissue. The look on his face was to die for. He had this gorgeous smile and the love in his eyes was like a beacon. He got this really mischievous look and said, "We've got time for one more before you go. Shall we?" I had enough control to pull him to me and we did it again, and I did it again. Martin didn't ask if anything had happened, but he must have known. I was barely in control and Damien had this grin from ear to ear. Good thing Dolores had left home by then. We were both acting like star-struck lovers when we got to our place. Mum and Dad didn't seem to notice. Well that was what I thought, because they made no comment. I found out I was wrong, but that was weeks away.

Talk about wank. I couldn't leave it alone. Almost every night for a couple of weeks I was on it and it was getting sore. My knuckles were too rough for the tender skin. I kept seeing his face and that smile just before our lips met in that mind-blowing touch. My brain seemed to be learning how to cope and my spasms were getting shorter and less violent. Martin must have noticed me wincing when I got in and out of the car and the clothes rubbed over it. When we got to their house and were safely in Damien's room, Damien produced this huge bottle of hand cream. "Martin says you're sore Willie and I need to help you get it better." I blushed and looked at the floor.

"It's alright. I've seen it before. It must be hard for you though. Your poor hands are all clawed. Let me do it for you. Please Willie, can I rub your willie?" and he giggled. I was embarrassed and pleased at the same time. I nodded shyly and reached for my belt.

"Let me my beautiful Will." He pushed me gently onto the bed and made me lie down. I was beginning to get teary. No one had ever said it with the love and sweetness he had just used. "Shhh my darling Will. I want this to be perfect for you." He gently pulled my trousers and briefs down to my knees. He rolled my shirt up under my armpits and kissed me on the belly button. I was hard as a rock and thought I was going to blow when he did that. I'm glad I didn't. What followed was incredible. He looked in my face with such love that I responded with every bit of love I could muster. I know I had a smile. It was so big my face muscles were hurting. There was coolness and softness as his hand began to work its way around my raging erection. His hand wasn't big enough to go all the way around. Slowly and gently he worked the cream in and I was almost climbing the wall with the sensation and the need to cum. Then he pulled back the foreskin and began to work cream into the glans. It was too much. I blew a geyser. He was giggling and kissing my cheek while it was happening. I couldn't escape the spasms that time. My brain hit overload and was random firing everywhere. When I came back it was only because he had finished wiping me up and the loss of stimulation enabled me to get my feebly waving limbs under control again. "That was fun Willie. Let's do it again. You have to leave it alone until I can do it for you. Do you think you can leave it alone for one night, or is that too hard for you?"

"I don't think I can leave it alone for more than one night Damie, and you come to our place on a Thursday. I can't stop dreaming about you and I don't think I could last two days, let alone four." The look on his face was delightful. He was shy and pleased all at the same time.

"Don't worry about it. Martin will organise everything. You'll see. Everything will work out." I managed to be dressed when Martin knocked. I was feeling a bit sorry because I hadn't done anything for Damien. I told him and he just looked at me with a smile. He opened the door to Martin and then said," There's plenty of time for that my Sweet William. Maybe next time, or the time after. It's you who needs looking after right now, and I love doing it." He looked straight at Martin who had what I think the Americans call a 'shit-eating grin'. I wonder why they call it that?

I managed to keep my word and left it alone on Wednesday night. On Thursday I was as randy as could be, seeing Damien and wanting him, daydreaming about what I could do to give him the pleasure he had given me. I got into trouble from several teachers for lack of attention to my work. The gang was teasing me at lunchtime. They knew something had happened and wanted to know what it was. I was NOT going to tell them, so they teased me. Damien almost had his head buried in the tree trunk and he was blushing so badly I thought he would hurt himself. Before it got out of hand Julian intervened.

"Are you going to tell us all the details of the fantasy you wanked to last night? What about you Ronald or you Natalie? Would you set the ball rolling Alex? I think Will would find it easier to tell you after you've all told us about your sex life." That shut them up and things got back to normal. We went to our place after school and Martin informed the gang they were not invited today. Dad was having a special occasion. That had me as puzzled as could be but I could see Damien was looking very pleased.

When we got home Dad was home. That had me even more puzzled as he usually worked late. It was something to do with early opening and late opening markets. Martin and Julian were looking sort of expectant, almost exited. Mum had a snack waiting as soon as we got in. They all had this funny expression on their faces, like the one you get when you give someone a present and really hope they will like it. Mum asked me to take Damien to my room. I have a specially built downstairs bedroom because of my problems. The moment I walked in I could see something was different. It took me a moment to work out what it was. The mirror on the wardrobe was showing there was something on the table behind the door. Damien shut the door and I turned to see what it was. There was a big basket with a sign on it. "To our sons. Please be kind and gentle with each other. Love Mum and Dad." In the basket was hand cream in an easy to open jar, a wastepaper basket with a plastic liner in it, a box of super strong tissues and a book called 'The Joy of Gay Sex'.

It took a couple of minutes for it to sink in and I stood there holding Damien and just looking. Then my eyes began to run like leaking taps. I held on to Damien like he was going to bolt, but he was hanging on to me and crying too. "Get Dad." I was almost incoherent but Damien just knew what I wanted. He was back with Dad in a flash and they both had big smiles despite Damien's tears. I threw myself at Dad and tried to hug and kiss him. I was slobbering all over him but he didn't seem to mind. He held me like he used to when I was little and had got upset because I had dirtied my pants.

"I think my little boy is trying to tell me he's happy. Is that what it is?" I looked at him and right at that moment I adored him as much as I had adored Martin when he saved me.

"Wha do oo wove me ho mush."

"Because you're our son and that's what parents are supposed to do. Because you're so brave and determined to succeed. Because you're such beautiful person inside a body that tries to keep you imprisoned. Because you've found love and it's with another person as beautiful as you are." He shrugged, "Just... because. I'm setting no rules except to go slowly and love each other every step of the way. If you need anything just ask. Damien will be sixteen just a few weeks after Christmas and then you're free to experiment all you want. Your mother and I talked this all out and this is what we think is best for you both. We love you."

He turned me and put me in Damien's arms. Damien was still crying but I could see he was as happy as I was. Dad kissed him on the cheek. "Enjoy yourselves and never doubt that your mother and I love you both with all our heart. If Damien wants to sleep here during the holidays he's more than welcome to." Dad left and closed the door behind him.

"Willie my love, you're still sore. I can see it when you get in the car. Come on now my Willie, let me make it better." He did and it was just as fantastic as the first time. When Martin knocked on the door we were just lying there looking at the book. The trouble was, I was still almost naked and Damien was gently massaging my balls. Damien pulled a cover over me and Martin and Julian came in. They both had affectionate, almost diffident expressions. Martin was the first to speak.

"It's time to go little brother. Kiss your boyfriend goodnight." Then Julian spoke. He was just as kind.

"Don't worry. I'll look after him for you. Martin's taught me how to love him the way he deserves. After all he's my big brother and I've had to learn how to do what he needs done. I know I wasn't always as good a brother as I should have been but I've reformed and now I'll look after him just as well as I can. Anyway it's the least I can do for my best friend."

Julian was closest to me and I reached up to pull him into a hug. I dislodged the edge of the cover and they could see my state of undress. I didn't care, they had all seen it before, and I just wanted to show him how much I appreciated having him as my brother.

Julian spoke in my ear as he returned the hug with interest. "Jesus Will! How did you get it in that state? If I'd known you were having that sort of problem I'd have given you a hand myself."

"Damien's nicer."

That got everyone laughing and they all got me up and dressed me. They wouldn't let me lift a finger, and Julian was just as gentle as my beloved and my Eagle. Damien kissed me in front of Mum and Dad before he left. Fortunately it was on the cheek so I didn't over react. They smiled at us and looked pleased. I even detected a tear or two in their eyes.

Our first sleepover was at Rockwells'. School finished on Friday the week after Mum and Dad had given us that wonderful present. Uni was finished but Dolores did not come home. In fact I didn't see her again until her wedding. The only reason we saw her then was that Dad and Mum refused to attend her wedding if she would not invite me, with Damien. That was still two years away. Mr Rockwell rang Dad and told him that he wanted to give us a present to show me I was as loved and accepted by him in the same way that my parents loved and accepted Damien.

Martin and Damien came to lunch on that Saturday. They looked as if they were trying to hold down their excitement. Julian was so excited he could hardly sit still. He told me, years later, that he had been in on all the planning. He had helped me pack my bag and kept suggesting I take things that seemed superfluous to me. The one thing he did which had me in tears, was to give me a present, just from him. It was a pair of beautiful green silk pyjamas with gold teddy bears on them. I hugged him for ages when he packed them for me. When we got to Rockwell's I was overwhelmed. Melinda, Bill and a lady I didn't know were waiting at the door as a welcoming committee. They ushered me into the house and it was full of flowers. There were vases of flowers everywhere. I was introduced to Ellen as Dad Rockwell's lady friend. He insisted that I was not to address him as Mr Rockwell again. He could be Dad or Bill but not Mr Rockwell. He told me Ellen and Melanie had shown him the proper way to prepare the house for what he hoped would be the first of many visits. I think he was trying to tell me it wasn't his idea. I thought the flowers looked beautiful, but it must have cost a fortune. Damien looked as stunned as I felt.

He sent Damien and me off to the bathroom to wash our hands. It was an excuse for him to show me what they had done. I hadn't been in there for nearly a fortnight. I just stood there with my mouth open and Damien giggling at my expression. They had put assist bars everywhere, beside the toilet, over the bath, in the shower, even the towel rail was an assist bar and they had replaced every tap handle with lever handles. I hugged Damien and soaked his shirt. I was still so teary he had to lead me back to the others, because I couldn't see. As soon as he had put me in a chair Damien went and hugged his dad. Then I realised it was a chair just the same as I had at home. I tried to say thank you but it wouldn't come out right.

They were all so wonderful. Melanie came and kissed me. "It's alright Willie, we can see how happy you are. Don't try to talk yet. Just enjoy the things we've got to make you comfortable. Damien wanted you to be happy here and so do we."

Then Bill came. He lifted me out of the chair and hugged me. "It's not every day that I get the chance to show my son's boyfriend how much he means to me. We've known Damien was gay since his mother died and he had such trouble coping with it. He thought he was responsible for her death in some way, and Martin and I had a hell of a job convincing him he was wrong. That was why I transferred him to your school when Martin went there. Then Martin got to know you and Damien did too. From that day on my son has improved beyond recognition. He's so happy now that it makes my heart ache with joy, and it's all because of you. If I had any doubts at the beginning, Martin and Melanie soon showed me I was wrong. You're just the right person for him and that makes me willing to give you both anything you need to help you be happy."

Then Martin came and pushed his father out of the way. He held me in one of his 'I'll give you strength' hugs. "Don't believe a word that old skinflint says. It took all four of us twisting his arm to get him to part with a single cent." Everyone broke into uproarious laughter and I had to join in. I knew he was ribbing his father because I knew the way he gave them things whenever they needed them. "We just want you to realise how important you are to all of us. Get it into your head right now. YOU ARE worthy of love and we're going to give it to you. Especially Damien." Ellen began to bring in coffee and cakes and soft drink. It didn't take long to demolish afternoon tea.

They began to encourage us to go to Damien's bedroom. We could see they were trying to hide their excitement and wondered what else they had set up for us. We put our arms around each other and almost crept up on it. We were eager with anticipation, but almost frightened to break the wonderful spell that seemed to have been cast over us. We needn't have worried.

When we opened the door there was a smell of incense. That would have been Melanie. She loves the smell of sandalwood. The whole room was garlanded with flowers. They had put picture hooks in the walls and draped tulle between them, and then they had covered the material with flowers. It looked stunning. It might have been overkill, but we loved it. While Damien had been at our place, they had rearranged the furniture and put in an adjustable steel frame double bed just the same as I had at home. I prayed I would never lose control enough to wet this one. There were matching bedside tables with lamps on them and drawers underneath. They were just right to keep the contents of the baskets in.

On the chest of drawers were two baskets. One was from Bill and he had put exactly the same message as Mum and Dad had put. The contents were a little different though. In addition to the things they had given us there was a whole packet of condoms and a tube of Wet Stuff. The books were different too. There were books and pamphlets on safe sex, diseases we could catch and lots of other subjects as well as an Illustrated Guide. I am sure it was an illegal publication and would never have passed the pornography regulations. We never did find out how he got hold of it. We didn't use the condoms until many weeks later, but knowing that when we wanted to, we had his blessing, was just so special.

The other basket was from Melinda and Martin and was covered in flowers. The message had us in tears again. "To the most beautiful boys in the world. Enjoy. M&M." It was full of chocolates and preserved ginger and jubes and everything we both liked. Between the two baskets was a beautifully wrapped bottle, which was scented massage oil. The message just said, "Love is forever. Ellen". We dragged ourselves back to the lounge room, hugging and kissing each other. The tears were wetting our shirts but we just couldn't stop. The moment we were near enough we just threw ourselves on them. Hugging, kissing, trying to talk, trying to dance. I even hugged and kissed Ellen and I didn't feel embarrassed at all. Damien was small enough for Bill to lift him off the floor. "Now I know how Will's father felt when he told me it was the most wonderful feeling in the world to make you two happy. He was right, it's worth every pulled muscle." That got us all laughing again. "Off you two go and enjoy yourselves. Ellen and I are going out to dinner. Martin and Melinda will get pizza for you when you're all hungry."

I have no idea what Martin and Melinda did while they were out because we took him at his word and enjoyed each other. I wanted to see Damie naked. I had seen him in bits and pieces but I had never seen him totally naked. I was entranced. He was so beautiful. It was just as well we had taken a whole two litres of Sprite with us because we needed to replace all the water we had already wasted and there was more to be shed before the night was over. I sat there looking at him as he undressed for me and my mouth was hanging open with his beauty. That red-gold hair was so beautiful and I could see the first tiny tufts coming in his armpits. His chest was naked and he didn't have a happy trail back then. As his underpants went down I was mesmerised by his beautiful bush. I was too stunned to want to touch him. His beauty held me powerless. "Do you like me Willie?" He sounded a little unsure of himself.

"Oh Wow. Stunning." It took all my energy to get it out. Then the tears started again. "How can someone as beautiful as you love an ugly thing like me?"

I was wrapped in his arms and he was kissing me all over. "My beautiful Willie, you're not ugly. Let me show you sweetness." He began undressing me. He kissed every part of me as he uncovered it. "This is beautiful my darling Will, and this is beautiful too, and this, and this." He reached my penis and kissed it. It was still flaccid. "This is not just beautiful my love it's magnificent." He kissed down the stiff, knotted muscles of my legs and then he reached my twisted feet. "These are beautiful my lovely Will. I know you don't think they are but I think they are. They work so hard to hold my sweet one up despite their not working properly. They do the very best they're able to, to help my darling Will."

My clothes were lying in a pile on the floor and I had stopped crying. I was fascinated as to what he would think of next. I had never seen my body the way he was seeing it. He took my clawed hands and kissed the fingers. "These are such beautiful hands. An accident at birth means your brain can't send them the right signals, yet they try so hard to do what you need them to do. The muscles are weak and they can't straighten yet they hold a pen and they type on your computer. They do the very best they're able to and therefore they are beautiful. Come with me my lovely Will and see how beautiful you are." He slipped my legs off the bed and helped me up.

He led me to his full-length mirror, walking behind me and hugging me every step I took. "Look at yourself with my eyes my brave hero. Your hands and legs and feet are twisted yet they never give up. Your mind can't send them the right messages so they have to do the best they can despite their problem. Your face is so sweet and kissable. Your bravery and your love shine out of your eyes. I never have to guess if I've done something to please you, your body tells me instantly that your brain is hitting overload. You have to work twice as hard as I do to do anything, yet you do almost everything I do, except run. Love your body my darling. It works so hard to overcome its problems so that you can be less imprisoned. It tries so hard to let you be as free as it can make you, and the person inside that body is so beautiful and so brave and strong, it makes me cry. How can someone as brave and strong as you love a coward like me?"

I took my gaze away from my poor twisted body. I wasn't ready yet to give it the love it deserved. My Damien was hurting and I had to stop that. I turned and took him in my arms. "You're the brave one. A coward would have run away when I pissed my pants. A coward would never have stood beside me when people were poking fun at me. A coward would hide rather than be seen with someone like me and you don't just want to be seen with me, you want me as your boyfriend. A coward could never love me the way you do. Don't you dare tell me my boyfriend is a coward. He's brave and strong and beautiful." I led him back to the bed. We just lay there, naked, cuddling and giving each other little kisses and telling each other how beautiful our loved one was. I have no idea how long we were there, but there was a knock on the door. Damien didn't hesitate.

"Is that you Martin?"

"Yes. I came to find out what you want on your pizza. "

"Come in and close the door."

Martin came in and I actually saw him blush for the first time. Not that he could see much. We were so tightly hugged together. "What do you want on your pizza?"

"Will likes Hawaiian best. Get us a medium Hawaiian. Martin? Do you think Will has an ugly body? He thinks it's ugly and I think it's beautiful because it tries so hard for him. What do you think?"

Martin sat on the edge of the bed and began to rub my back ever so gently. "I won't lie to you and say Will's body is beautiful in the conventional way. You don't deserve lies from me. But, yes, I think Will's body is beautiful. The thing that makes it beautiful is what lives inside that body. You have a spirit, which transcends your body and makes you beautiful. Dad has a book of the sculptures of a man called Rodin. In it is a picture of an old woman. At first sight, you think she's ugly. But, if you look at it for a while, you can see the spirit inside her shining through. If he were alive today he would want to make a sculpture of Will, because he has just the same quality. Damien's right Will you're beautiful. That's what Melinda and I see whenever we look at you. Never be ashamed of your body it may not be as good as other people's but it gives you one hundred percent effort and only fails when the communication with your brain breaks down. We love you just as you are. To us Will Gosport you're beautiful." He slipped out quietly because I was crying yet again and Damien was kissing the tears off my face as fast as they fell. I can say with absolute certainty that something close to a miracle happened that night. The underlying (perhaps hidden or repressed is more accurate? I'm not sure) feeling of humiliation whenever someone looked at my body melted out of existence.

While the pizza was coming Damien helped me into the shower. It was a bit squashed with two of us in there but we enjoyed it. He loved my new pyjamas and told me he would thank Julian himself. Damien borrowed Martin's dressing gown for me. I didn't have one since I have an en-suite bathroom. He told me my pyjamas were too sexy to show off in front of Melinda. She grabbed the bathroom as soon as we left. She looked a real mess. Her hair was all messed up and her makeup was smeared everywhere. She looked beautiful again when the pizza arrived.

We sat and watched a film while we ate. I think it was a rerun of 'Under Siege'. Then we just sat and cuddled. Every so often we would look up and find Martin or Melinda looking at us. Then they would go back to their cuddling. It didn't feel uncomfortable, because of the loving smile on their faces. About eleven o-clock dad Rockwell came in. Martin took Melinda home and told us we had better return his dressing gown; he would need it when he got back. Bill took his coat and tie off and looked at us with a big grin.

"You two have made quite a hit with Ellen. She said we got a better return for effort expended tonight, than we have for anything else we've done. I have to agree with her. It was better than some of our best cases."

"Do you intend to get married again Dad?" Damien was sounding a bit upset.

"Not for a while yet my boy. I want to see my boys settled and I wanted to make sure she was as comfortable with them as she said she was. I think tonight proves that she really is comfortable with my youngest son and his boyfriend."

"She's nice Bill." I needed him to know I liked her. The trouble was Damien looked even more upset. Bill could see it.

"Damien? Listen to me. It isn't going to happen any time soon. I haven't recovered from your mother's death yet, and neither has she. You're forgetting that she was one of your mother's best friends. It hit her as hard as it hit all of us. We need lots more time before we've recovered enough to think about things like that. Why are you suddenly so upset at Ellen and I going out?"

Damien seemed to change the subject, but I could see the connection. I think Bill could too. "Dad why did you give us all those pamphlets and things about diseases we could get? I'm never going to love anyone the way I love Will. I'm never going to have sex with anyone but him. Why do we need to know about that sort of thing?"

"Well now! Where to start! There are lots of reasons for you to know that sort of thing. Firstly there are some of those things you can get from an accident like the condom rupturing while you're having sex with Will. Then there's the probability that you and Will are going to be asked questions by other people and I want you to know the right answers to give them." He paused a moment.

"I thought about this very carefully and consulted with Julian and Melinda and Martin. We all think that it's just a matter of time before a lot of people, besides those you've told, realise you're a gay couple. Because people see you as very accepting and non-threatening, they're likely to ask you questions they would be afraid to ask anyone else. I want you to know the answers to their questions. There are a lot of people who won't be as lucky as you two and have loving families to support them. I want you two to be able to give them some support and information. I'm not trying to imply that I think you and Will are going to separate. I think you're like Martin and me. When you give your heart to someone, you're going to keep your partner forever, if God allows it."

Damien was looking relieved. He got up and threw his arms around his father who responded by ruffling his hair and saying, "Why is Will wearing Martin's dressing gown?" When Damien explained he insisted on seeing for himself. "Well now. You do look a sexy little piece in those. No wonder Damien wanted to hide you." I blushed as red as a beetroot. He peeled the robe off me. "Off to bed you two. I'll put this back for Martin." Then he wiggled his eyebrows at me. "Try not to make too much noise. I need my beauty sleep." I blushed so hard I swear I was purple. Damien was giggling like he would burst.

"Dad you're a rotten tease!"

"That's one of the perks of being a father. Get to bed."

What with leaving it alone myself, and the loving massages from Damie, it was nowhere near as sore. Not that I enjoyed his sweet ministrations any the less. It had been such an emotional day I went off for quite a while. When I had recovered I wanted to do something for him. I had plenty of pictures and instructions from our books, and I knew I could do it. He said he was too tired and besides he thought it would be better at our place. We had more privacy. He was frightened he would scream his head off when I did it. We went to sleep, together for the very first time. I can still remember every detail of that night, and of the joy of waking in the morning with my love beside me.

Christmas was on the Thursday that year. It was strange how our parents seemed to understand the need for Damien to look after my needs as much as our brothers did. I don't think they told them about me having a red raw dick, but I never asked. Damien and Martin came over on the Tuesday and everyone seemed to expect us to go to my bedroom for a while before we went out shopping. That sort of acceptance and the lack of comment made it so much less embarrassing. I asked Damie if he would let me do it, but he said no. He wanted to wait until we were sleeping together, it would make our first time much more special.

I had been saving my pocket money. I hardly ever went anywhere to spend it. I was too frightened to go out on my own and the gang only came over in the holidays. I had heaps more to spend than Julian. I have no idea how he managed to find enough money to buy me those pyjamas. When we got to the mall I did wonder what was going on. Melinda and all our expanded gang were waiting in the forecourt for us. We had a ball. We got a few nasty stares and comments from a few old spoilsports, but most people just smiled at our antics. It was a fantastic idea. I could go off with Melinda, Alex and Jocelyn to buy something for Damie or Martin, and Damie could go off with some others to buy things for us. Damie was the hard one to buy for, but they never got upset and tried to hurry me. Finally I found something just perfect. The only trouble was it was 18 carat gold. There was no way I could afford it. It was over three thousand dollars. I was devastated, absolutely flattened. Then Melinda got on her mobile phone. She went outside where the reception was better so I did not hear what she said. I told the shop assistant I was sorry but it was way too dear for me to buy. Melinda walked back in just as I was dragging out.

"Stay right there Will. Rescue is on its way."

Melinda shooed the gang off to the food hall telling them we would meet them there, and that it was a secret and they were not to see it until after Christmas.

It wasn't long after, that Mum arrived. She took one look at me and wrapped me in one of her famous hugs.

"Don't look like that darling. Let me see what you've chosen. I'm making no promises, but it just might be possible." I led her to the counter and the assistant had the heavy chain with its large shield, already spread on a piece of velvet. Mum looked at it for so long and I just knew she was going to say no.

"Do you really feel that strongly about him?"

"Yes Mum."

"This is what you want to tell him? You want this verse on it and not something else?"

"Yes Mum. Nothing else says how I feel."

"We'll take it. Here's my credit card. Gift wrap it." Just like that she spent nearly four thousand dollars. When she turned around there were tears in her eyes, as well as mine. I got another of her gorgeous hugs. "If he means that much to you my darling then we simply have to tell him." Alex and Jocelyn were standing there looking stunned. Melinda was looking like the cat that got the cream.

Alex recited the inscription very softly.

"People say angels can come in disguise. I know it's true, He sent me You."

Then, more strongly, "I hope some day I can find a girl to love me like you love him."

Mum took that present home with her and we went to the food hall and ate our heads off. I was on a high because I had my Damie's present. Alex and Jocelyn kept giving us funny looks and Damien began to suspect. Martin tried to get Melinda to whisper our secret to him. She gave him a punch in the arm and told him to wait until Thursday. Damien asked Jocelyn why she was looking at him that way. He did manage to worm out of them, in bits and pieces, that they were envious of his Christmas present, but they wouldn't tell him any more than that. The whole gang tried to get them to tell but they refused to give in. Finally we were all shopped out and worn out and broke. So we all went home.

Christmas day was exhausting. We had Christmas at our house and then we went to have tea (we couldn't fit in another dinner) at Rockwells. I got sleepwear, two more pairs of silk pyjamas and a silk dressing gown. Dad gave me an electric razor. His card said it was time I looked my best for someone special. It was funny when we got to Rockwells. Bill literally shepherded the two of us into Damien's bedroom almost as soon as we got there. I wasn't sore anymore but I wasn't going to tell them that, neither was Damie. Then we went back to exchange presents. They didn't seem to be in any hurry. Ellen and Mum were gabbling twenty to the dozen. Dad and Bill were catching up on old times and Melinda and Martin were making out in the corner of the lounge. The only one who looked bored was Julian. Eventually I couldn't wait any longer. I interrupted Mum to ask her for my present for Damien. As she handed it to me the whole room went quiet. I handed it to him with a kiss.

"Merry Christmas to the most beautiful boy in the world."

Damien looked at it and produced another small box from behind his back. Both presents were wrapped in the same expensive paper. It looked as if they had come from the same shop. "Merry Christmas to my brave and beautiful boyfriend." He kissed my cheek.

I tried to get him to open his first and he tried to get me to open mine first. The rest of them got sick of that and yelled at us to open them together. When we unwrapped them, we just stood there looking at our presents for what seemed like eternity. He had bought me a more delicate gold neck chain with two hearts held together by an arrow. The hearts were inscribed Damien and William. I couldn't speak. Martin leaped off the lounge and took the boxes from us before we dropped them. We almost melted into each other's arms, murmuring our thanks and our love as we nuzzled and hugged.

"Wow!" Martin said to Melinda. "If they're like that when they give each other presents, what are they like when they have sex?"

I was otherwise occupied but I could hear the smack she gave him. It must have been hard. "Don't be horrible. I think they're cute." The adults were laughing their heads off. Julian was doubled up on the floor. Eventually we broke apart and went looking for our presents. Melinda put mine on for me, and Martin put Damien's on. It was one of the few times I have ever seen him cry. Tears were rolling gently down his cheeks.

"This is going to remind you every day of just how much you mean to him." Martin hugged him. "I'm so happy for you Damien. You could have been one of those who have to go through life never meeting Mr Right. Instead you've met him before you're even old enough to legally have sex, and you know he feels the same about you as you feel about him. It makes me almost as happy as loving Melinda does." He hefted the shield in his hand. "Whenever you get into an argument with him, and you inevitably will, just read what's written here and it will give you a proper sense of perspective. God bless you both. I'm so happy for you."

Melinda gave me a big hug and a kiss. Then she gave Damie one. "That goes doubly for me. I think the only time I will ever be happier than this is when I marry Martin." Then she went and gave him a great big smooch.

I had to show Mum and Dad and Julian, and got hugs and kisses from them. Then they swapped and I got more hugs and kisses from Bill (yes big macho Bill) and Ellen. I felt well squished by the end of it. Then we opened the other presents. I got a dressing gown. It was more than a dressing gown it was a Robe. It was utterly stunning. Where Melinda and Martin had found it is still a secret. It was black. It had red piping. The design was two Chinese cranes. Their tails touched on the back and they wrapped around under the arms with their heads on each breast. The cranes were red gold and white. It must have cost a mint. They never would tell anyone where they got it or how much it cost. At least it was a flawless screen print not embroidery. If it had been embroidered it would have cost more than the chain I gave Damie. There were two more pairs of silk pyjamas and a pair of black Chinese slippers. The robe and the slippers lived at Rockwells until Damie and I moved permanently into my bedroom. That was not until Damie finished Uni. He said he would never have the willpower to study if I was in the same room with him. I had not thought to buy something for Ellen, but Mum and Dad had included all our names on the present they had for her. We dragged ourselves home at midnight. Exhausted but very happy.

The next morning they let me sleep in until just before they went out to visit Dolores. We had decided it was best if I didn't go. Julian woke me with a glass of orange juice and a smile. "Don't hurry to get up. We've got it all arranged for you. You won't be lonely while we're away." That had the effect he intended. I was so curious I couldn't stay in bed. When I dragged myself down to the kitchen, Melinda, Martin and my darling Damie were waiting for me. Melinda put the kettle on and got out the tea bags as soon as she saw me. Damie almost danced up to grab me in a hug and a kiss. "Come and sit down beautiful. Mum told us what to get for your breakfast." I sat with my arm around him and my head on his shoulder while Melinda finished preparing my breakfast. It was a wonderful way to start the day. They had no sooner put the dishes in the dishwasher than people began arriving. They seemed to be expecting it. It wasn't long before the whole gang was there. Some of them could only stay for a little while and some stayed until Mum and Dad came home.

Of course they were all eager to see what the big secret had been. It wasn't just the girls who had tears in their eyes when they saw what we had given each other; some of the boys did too. Lunch was a strange affair. It went on for a couple of hours. It was leftovers of course, but not just ours. Everyone who stayed, seemed to have brought something with them. Mum had left loads of fruit. No one went hungry. We talked about everything under the sun. Not just about Christmas presents. All the same there were a lot of people who looked a little bit jealous when they saw what Damie and I had given each other. That didn't last long though. Damie put it out of their heads by going and getting some of the pyjamas I had been given. That got them hooting and hollering. We had to put up with some pretty crude remarks from some of them, but it got their minds off our chains. It was better than letting the envy fester, even if it did cost us some blushes and embarrassment.

Mum, Dad and Julian came home looking tired and a bit out of sorts. They were very nice to everyone and thanked them for keeping me company. Julian was very kind to Howard, Celina, Joseph and Kerrilee. They were friends of his and Damien's. Howard was the tall gangly boy who had broken the ice at the birthday party standoff. The next year he filled out and became a real heartbreaker. We still see a lot of them.

We didn't talk about how the visit had gone. I could see from their faces it had been a strain. As everyone went home, Damien was getting excited. Dad looked at him with a twinkle in his eye. "Have you told him yet?"

"I haven't had a chance to get him alone all day."

"Tell me what?" They came out almost simultaneously.

"We thought you might like it if he stayed the night. He seemed quite keen on the idea." Mum was grinning. So was everyone else.

"You're joking." I was punch drunk. "It isn't the weekend."

"Think of it as an extra Christmas present." Julian was giggling. Damien had big puppy dog eyes, and the cutest expression.

"Can he really Mum?"

"Get your bag boy!" Dad was almost as bad as Julian. "Put him out of his misery." Damien grabbed the keys from Martin and dashed for the car. When he came back I had a word in his ear. I was hugging him quite hard at the time.

"Just as well I didn't know. I might have let it slip. Just think of what we would have had to put up with if the others had known. They were bad enough about the pyjamas." That had everyone in stitches. Martin took Melinda home. We had a scratch dinner, and we all went to bed.

Damien was right. It was just as well we were at our place for the first time. He nearly went through the roof when my tongue started rubbing on the vee underneath his gorgeous glans. I could get my finger and thumb around his sweet stick, and I soon had him screaming. Well it wasn't quite a scream but it was pretty noisy. I swallowed every drop and would have taken more if he had had it in him. I was ecstatic. I had finally given something back to my wonderful lover and there was no doubt about him enjoying it.

He seemed to understand when I said I didn't want him to do anything to me. I was giving him myself for the very first time. I was giving him the Christmas present I had really wanted to give him. I was giving him the love that bubbled up inside me like a fountain. It was so special that I wanted this night to be his alone. He melted into my arms and we slept like babies.

They must have known something had happened. We were so shy and cuddly with each other next morning. Julian looked as pleased as if it had been him that had had sex the night before. Mum and Dad looked so loving I just had to give them a hug and a thank you. Damien did too.

During the holidays, Martin and Melinda took us swimming at the YMCA. I was a thrasher and Damien was a fish. They picked a time when there were very few people in the pool and began to work on my arm movements. They all decided that backstroke was the best for me since there was little chance of me drowning if my neck muscles decided to play up. They had to teach me how. I had only ever learned crawl at the water safety classes. I began to enjoy it so much I asked them if it was possible for me to join. I got a shock when I found out that Bill had already enrolled me and listed Damien as my carer. They would not accept me without a carer. The first time Julian joined us, I proudly signed the book for my first guest, he was so excited about how my swimming was going he almost bashed Mum and Dad's ears off. Damien and I just sat there blushing. That was the night Damie decided to suck me for the very first time.

He had been reluctant, not because he was disgusted or anything. He had been licking up all my cum for weeks. He was afraid that his mouth would be too small and that his teeth would scrape me. I was more than game for it and he tried that night. I almost hit the roof myself. No wonder he reacted the way he did. His mouth was just big enough and if he made a tiny slip now and again I was more than willing to forgive him and let him do it any time he wanted. He wanted to a lot after that. We never do sixty nines; they are a bit too dangerous because of my unpredictable reactions.

I thought long and hard before I decided to tell you about the next part. It is something so very special for both of us. It's something we keep for very special occasions, and it is not something I would normally share with others. The reason for sharing it is that we would probably never have worked out how to do it without Martin. Can you imagine the love and strength of character that man has that he could do for us something he would find personally repugnant? It is here so you can see his inner beauty and know why Damien and I love, even adore, our big brother so much. What was even more amazing was that Melinda was there that night. She knew exactly what happened, Martin never keeps secrets from her, and she didn't 'chuck a wobbly' or anything. In fact, when she saw us afterwards, she got this gentle little smile and kissed us both on the cheek.

It was in the holidays between the first and second semester. We had begun to spend several days at each other's houses during the holidays. We were at Rockwells for that weekend. Bill had taken Ellen out for the night and told us not to wait up for him. No one was surprised; it was obvious they were going to get around to getting married some day. Damien and I had been looking at the condoms and wondering about using them for weeks. I insisted that he be the first and I think he was a bit afraid of trying to take me in him. I wasn't afraid. People had been poking instruments up my bum since I was a baby, although they hadn't for some years now. Besides, I wanted him to be the first to experience it. If it was as good as the books said it could be, I wanted to give that to my beloved. I was so limited in the things I could do for him. The trouble came when he put the first finger full of lube on my hole. I was so excited my legs went like tent poles and my arms started waving like flags.

Damien sat and waited for me to calm down. The second he tried to lube me it happened again. I was sobbing. I so desperately wanted him and my body kept betraying me. Damien was near tears himself. He put on his dressing gown and went to find Martin. I found out later that they were doing more than just kissing when he interrupted them. At the time I didn't notice that his fly was open and his hand stank of stale fish. Martin was magnificent. He wasn't angry; he was as kind and gentle with me as he always was. He listened to Damien's explanation and thought for a while, then he rolled me on my stomach and vanished for a while. He was back minutes later with three fat cushions from the lounge and five towels. They piled the cushions and pillows up until they were up to Damien's belly button as he knelt on the bed. Then they covered the pile with a towel. They lifted me on with such love and gentleness. The pile sank down to just the right height for Damien. I must have looked quite a sight with my face on the bed and my bum pointing at the roof.

Martin's next trick was the one that made it possible. He tied towels around my wrists and tied them to the bed head. Then he tied towels around my knees and produced a piece of clothesline, which he used to secure the towels to the bed head. He waited while Damien began to lube me up yet again. This time my body could not interfere; it was so painlessly yet cunningly restrained. I managed to gasp out a thank you and he hugged Damien and gave me a kiss (the first and the last one he ever gave me) before he left.

I thought I was prepared for the sensation of Damien entering me. It was not the first time I had felt something intrude from outside me. I was wrong. It was way beyond anything I had ever felt before. This was not some doctor with a colonoscope. This was the flesh of my beloved. I think I went around the moon six times before I settled back into my body. It was so incredibly erotic. I was willingly giving my body, my all, as a sacrifice for the pleasure of my darling Damie. It was so overwhelming I had no idea how it had been for him. He didn't waste any time before telling me. I had hardly noticed him untie me and roll me on my back. The moment he saw my eyes were focusing again he started speaking.

"Willie! My gorgeous lovely Willie! That was so hot. I never knew it would be like that. It was fantastic my darling. I know you liked it because you were making all the same noises you make when I suck you. You were so loud I thought they might come and investigate, but I couldn't stop. Oh my darling Will, that was just so special. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" He was all over me. Kissing me, hugging me, licking my dick clean. Somewhere in there I had blown my load and I couldn't even remember it.

We lay there, kissing and cuddling for quite a while before I was up to going to the bathroom. I felt as if I needed a shit and yet I felt that it would be almost sacrilegious to have one. Damie took the condom to flush down the loo. He threw it in before I sat down and I noticed there were two in there. I sat there for a while but nothing came out. I was feeling better and I had to flush the loo three times before the condoms were gone. We had a lovely shower together and got into our pyjamas. Damie had some silk ones, and they had given him ones that matched mine.

M & M were looking like contented cats when we got to the lounge room. Martin had retrieved the cushions and they were back on the lounge.

"Are you ready for pizza? If we don't get our order in soon the local shop will be closed." We sat there sipping Sprite and gazing into each other's eyes while we waited. I have no idea how long it was or what the pussycats were doing. I was lost in my Damie.

When Damie decided he was brave enough to try to take me. We didn't need Martin. He had given us the idea and we took it and ran. I have to be tied down and darling Damie has to do all the work. He says it's fantastic either way. I still get so excited I can't be trusted.