Magician's Assistant - Friends & Lovers 7:
By Deane Christopher Edited by Steve Zink Copyrighted 2002
Preface
Magician's Assistant - Friends & Lovers takes place in the Magatrix the Magnificent Universe, which was first introduced in my serialized seven-part story, Magician's Assistant. The premise upon which both that story and this story are based revolves around the fact that Magatrix the Magnificent has been reprimanded by the ethics review board of the Magician's Guild, and thereby constrained from continuing to use handsome young males as her stage assistants. Due to a little known codicil buried deep within the guild's arcane bylaws, should a performing member elect to avail themselves of a stage assistant or assistants, said stage assistant(s) must be: one, young; two, beautiful; and three, female. Outraged by the ruling of her guild's review board, Magatrix elects to adhere to the letter of the Magician Guild's bylaws, while sidestepping its spirit. Magatrix the Magnificent, via the use of real magic, has elected to sidestep the spirit of the outdated codicil by asking for male volunteers from the audience to come up and join her on stage, whereupon she magically transforms the unsuspecting gentlemen into her lovely female stage assistants.
Normally, Magatrix restores these magically feminized volunteer assistants of hers to their former manly physiques at the completion of her act. However, for reasons known only to herself, upon occasion, Magatrix sometimes elects to maintain her assistants in their feminine personas for the remainder of the evening, and at times, well into the fullness of the night. Generally, when Magatrix selects this expanded stint as a female option of hers, she modifies her sexual transmogrification spell in such a way as to cause the transsexualized young gentleman to automatically regain his manhood at the dawning of the following day.
Generally, when Magatrix chooses to expand one of her volunteer assistant's tenure as a bona fide member of the opposite sex, she further modifies her transsexualization spell to include some very powerful subliminal inducements that tend to function much the way posthypnotic suggestions might. Magatrix does this in order to make it easier for the sexually transmogrified male to continue to function as the woman he has been turned into by drastically downplaying, or completely eliminating the ignominy factor involved in operating for a time as a woman. For instance, Magatrix usually continues to negate the residual and telltale awkwardness that would normally beset most men ensconced in a well-endowed woman's body. She achieves this by incorporating several magical subroutines within her expanded spell in order to compensate for the marked shift in weight distribution. That, in turn, directly impacts on the sexually transmogrified individual's new center of gravity, thereby making it easy for her sexually transmogrified assistants to maneuver about in a pair of stiletto heels.
Since Magatrix the Magnificent's magic act has not substantially altered from that which was described in my previous story, Magician's Assistant 1: The Performance, I have elected to begin Magician's Assistant - Friends & Lovers shortly after Magatrix has brought her evening's performance to its conclusion. In other words, the foremost male protagonist of this story, one Michael Gerlach, begins this story as the woman Magatrix has turned him into earlier in the evening. However, for those who might be interested in reading (or possibly rereading) a description of Magatrix's magical act, in which the initial transsexualization of birthday boy Jeff Gibson takes place, I encourage them to read Magician's Assistant 1: The Performance, which can be accessed elsewhere on this site.
Synopsis of Preceding Chapters
Chapter 1 began with a conversation that occurred while the ultra feminized Michael Gerlach was dancing with his best friend, John Larsen. Having first discussed Mike's impressions of what it was like to be a woman, Mike continues on to tell John about of some of the more unusual aspects of transsexualization spell that she is operating under. Then, having admitted that she finds herself sexual attracted to John, Mike encourages John to kiss her. One kiss leads to another, whereupon a very turned-on Mike beseeches John to make love to her. At that point Magatrix joins the conversation and offers the two of them the use of one of her hotel suite's bedrooms.
In Chapter 2, we joined the couple just prior to Mike's first multi-orgasmic experience as a woman, via John's selfless act of oral sex. Following that, the two then go on to share their impressions. Then, to John's amazement, Mike informs her friend that what she wants is to experience what it feels like to have his manhood nestled snugly up insider her. John, after a little coaxing on Mike's part, is more than happy to oblige her.
Chapter 3 picks up where Chapter 2 left off, with Mike quickly losing her virginity as the two friends engage in their first act of carnal sex. Then, after they have somewhat recuperated from their love making session, another intimate conversation ensues in which John and Mike begin to tentatively explore how their feelings toward one another may have changed, in light of Mike's temporary and magical transsexualization. Another love making sessions follows, in which John, in the heat of his passion, utters those three little words that not only have a marked tendency to scare the bejesus out of people, but can prove absolutely disastrous to a relationship, terminating it with but their mere utterance.
In Chapter 4, having acknowledged the fact that they are indeed in love with one another, John and Mike begin to seriously examine the pros and cons of a life together as man and wife. Finally, after a good deal of discussion, Mike informs John that she wants nothing more than to remain a woman and become not only his wife, but the mother of his children as well. The chapter ended with Mike asking John to go get Magatrix so that she could prevail upon the magician to make her sexual reassignment a permanent one.
Chapter 5 began with John regrettably informing Mike that Magatrix has not returned to her hotel suite as yet. Then, having reconfirmed the fact that she dearly would like to remain the woman that the magician has turned her into, Mike, in an effort to make the most of her remaining time as a girl, enticed John into making love to her again. Afterward, aware that dawn was quickly approaching, and with Magatrix still a no-show, the two adopted a plan to wait the magician out.
Chapter 6 began with dawn quickly approaching, and Magatrix still not having put in an appearance at her hotel suite. Aware that Mike would shortly revert back to being a man again, the two friends decided that it would be best for them to shower and dress separately. While in the shower, Mike played a fast and furious game of grab-ass with herself. Then, having dressed herself, Mike changed back into his former manly self. He then linked up with John in the suite's sitting room, whereupon the two proceeded to head down to the hotel's restaurant.
Chapter 7
When the hostess asked them if they preferred smoking or nonsmoking, John replied, "Nonsmoking." Not to be left out of the loop, Mike fielded the woman's follow-up question, informing the restaurant's congenial hostess that if it were at all possible, they'd like a booth that wasn't situated in the immediate vicinity of the breakfast bar. Once seated, they waited for the waitress to pour them each a cup of coffee, before availing themselves of the breakfast bar's more than generous amount of choices.
John returned to the table first. Mike returned shortly thereafter.
"Well, good morning! Would the two of you mind very much if I joined you?" a vaguely familiar female voice pleasantly inquired.
Looking up, both John and Mike were delighted to see that it was Magatrix who had addressed them.
Hastily swallowing a mouthful of half chewed pancake, Mike managed a hastily delivered, "Please do!"
Sensually sliding in next to John, Magatrix started off by thanking both John and Mike for extending her the invitation to join them, adding that the one thing she really disliked about being on tour was having to eat most of her meals alone. Then, upon catching the waitress' eye, the ever so attractive female magician employed a little wave of her hand to beckon the woman over. Without even glancing at the menu, Magatrix succinctly placed her order.
"All right..." the magician began, as she set her cup of coffee back on the table. "Since I already know what you want to ask me, let me cut through all the bullshit, and tell you that the answer is, yes. I'd be more than happy to do what you want me to do, if, that is, the two of you can see your way clear to doing a few things for me.
"First off, Mike, I want to be your maid of honor. And secondly, since staying in hotels gets to be a real drag, whenever I'm in the area, I'd kind of like to have an open invitation to stay with you guys. Believe me, I won't be an imposition, and I won't overstay my welcome."
"How?" Mike stammered. "How the hell did you know that the two of us want to get married?"
"Because... I heard the two of you talking about it earlier this morning."
"Huh?" John was noticeably perplexed.
Mike, on the other hand, was curious. "Exactly when did you hear the two of talking about getting married?"
"When the two of you were in bed together."
"You mean to tell me that you were listening?"
"Yes... As a matter of fact, I was," Magatrix freely admitted.
"And, just how long were you listening?" John gruffly demanded.
"Well... I guess you could say, pretty much the whole time the two of you were there, save for about the first fifteen minutes, give or take a couple of minutes more or less. Look, guys, I have a little confession to make. When it comes to the guys I've had an occasion to change into girls, I'd have to say that I'm a bit of a voyeur at heart. That's to say that whenever the opportunity present itself, I like to watch."
"Oh, you do, do you?" John was a becoming a tad bit miffed.
"Yes, I'm sorry to say that I do. Basically, I guess it's because I feel that I've got a vested interested in seeing how my handiwork turns out. And, I must say that you guys surpassed all my expectations."
"We did?" Mike was intrigued. "How so?"
"Well..." Magatrix endeavored to explain herself. "While I always expected that the two of you would eventually arrive at the decisions you have, I never once expected either of you to arrive at those decisions as quickly as the two of you did. In other words, the two of you shocked the shit out of me!"
"We did?" Mike's interest was further piqued.
"Oh, yeah... I mean, while it was almost a given that the two of you would eventually come to the conclusions that you have, last night when we were still over at the Witches' Brew, I didn't think I'd be hearing from the two of you until Monday, at the earliest. That just goes to show you that even though I wield real magic, I'm anything but omnipotent!"
"Okay." Mike sought clarification. "So, you say you heard us. My question is, how did you hear us? I mean, you weren't in the room with us."
Impishly, the magician replied, "Oh, but I was in the room with you."
"You mean to tell us that you were invisible?"
"No, I wasn't invisible, but you might say I was a lot like that nosey, eavesdropping little fly on the wall that you're always hearing about. Mike, do you recall the part of the performance last night when I changed you into that Barbie Doll sized pixy, and had you fly all around the audience so they could see you up close and personal?"
"Yes..." Mike tentatively confirmed the fact that he remembered the incident well.
"Well, let's just say that you're not the only one who logged in a little flying time last night, only the pixy that I turned myself into was about a quarter of the size of the pixy I turned you into."
"Oh!" John interjected. "So, that wasn't a moth that I thought I saw flitting about the room every now and again! That was you?"
"Yes, John, I'm afraid that was me."
"Good. Then, my eyes weren't playing tricks on me."
"No. Rest assured, your eyes are just fine. Though it may have seemed that way, believe me, your eyes weren't playing tricks on you."
"Okay!" Mike, in an effort to get the conversation back on track, spoke up. "So let me get this straight! If John and I allow you to stay with us whenever you're in town, and if I ask you to be my maid of honor, you have no qualms about turning me into a woman?"
"That's correct. I have no qualms, or reservations, or for that matter, anything that would, shall we say, preclude me from doing that for you."
"Okay! So, what's the catch? I mean, there's always a catch!"
Just then, just as Mike was making the assertion about how there was always a catch, a busboy, brandishing a tray piled to the gills with dirty dishes, like the oafish and awkward buffoon that he tended to be, turned, and without looking, stepped directly into the path of an oncoming waitress. As one might expect, given the way that persnickety law of Mr. Murphy's works, the waitress was carrying a fully laden tray of food. Plates, trays, a varied assortment of silverware, plus the buffoon and the poor unfortunate waitress went crashing to the floor. Needless to say, the ensuing clamor drew everyone's attention.
Upon hearing the commotion, John and Mike felt compelled to look as well.
"Holy, shit!" John gasped, as his eyes gazed across the table. "I don't know how something like this is possible, but I've got to tell you! You're even lovelier today than you were last night, kiddo!"
With that ever so sexy and sultry voice of hers, Mike, who was still unaware of the all encompassing change she had just then and there undergone, quizzically snapped, "John! Just what in the hell are you talking about?"
Then, upon hearing herself, the impact of what had just occurred began to register. Mike came to the euphoric realization that she was no longer the he that she had been but a moment before.
"Oh, my God!" She was giddy with the thrill of it all. "I'm a girl again! This is wonderful! Absolutely wonderful!" Mike exclaimed as one of her hands reflexively reached up and jostled one of those magnificent, man-troubling mammary protrusions of hers, while the other dove under the table to grope that newly revamped crotch of hers.
"Thank you, Magatrix! Thank you! This is fantastic!"
"Mike!" the magician quietly cautioned. "Look! I know you're excited, and believe me, you have every right to be excited right now, but please, before you start attracting any undo attention to yourself, you really need to cool your lollies, all right?"
Realizing that Magatrix was giving her some good advice, Mike did her best to stifle any outward display of the exuberance she was feeling. "Magatrix?"
"Yes, Michael?"
"This is for keeps, right? I mean, you're not going to change me back into a guy again, are you?"
"No, dear. I'm not. That is, unless you really want me to?"
"No!" Mike's retort was emphatic. "No... I want to stay just like I am right now."
"Good..." John let out a long sigh of relief. "I've been hoping that you'd say that."
"You were?" Mike coyly replied. "And, why's that?"
"You know perfectly well, why!"
"I do?"
"Yes, you most certainly do!"
"Tell you what," Mike teased. "Just to make doubly sure we're both talking about the same thing, why don't you just tell me again."
John, who historically had a hard time with the L-Word, especially when in the presence of others, blurted out, "Aw, shit, Mikey! Why are you doing this to me? Look! You know that it goes without saying that I love you, and that I want you to marry me!"
"Well, while I agree that it might go without saying that you love me, you need to understand something here. Girls like to hear guys tell them they love them. And, since I'm a girl now, I think I'm entitled to hearing you tell me that you love me, and that you want to marry me, and that your life won't be complete without me in it, over and over and over again. In other words, pal, if you want me to be your happily wedded wife, to have and to hold and to get a little nookie from every once in a while, you'd best get over this hang-up with L-Word, P.D.Q., if not a little bit sooner! And, if you know what's good for you, you better get your shit in gear and start as of now!"
John, knowing that his buddy was well on the way to pussy-whipping him into submission, hastily complied. Reaching across the table, John took both of those dainty hands of Mike's in his own. Then, as he looked deep into those ever so alluring azure eyes of his ultra feminized friend, John earnestly said, "I love you, Mikey, with all my heart! And, I want you to be my wife more than you can ever even begin to imagine. Please! Tell me that you'll marry me!"
"John, I love you too. And, though I'm not all that sure how good a wife I'll make, I would be honored to marry you."
"Okay!" the magician, in an effort to interject herself back into the conversation, said. "How 'bout we table the lovey-dovey crap for the time being, so that I can fill you in on a few of the things that the two of you need to know. Trust me, the two of you will have plenty of time for that sort of stuff later.
"First off, you need to come up with a female name for yourself, so that I can make the necessary adjustments that will, shall we say, rewrite all your documented history. I mean, while you can always continue to go with Michael, I would strongly urge you to go with a name that's more in tune with your new station in life as a woman. For instance, you could always go with Michelle, the feminine form of your own male name. Or, if don't want to go with Michelle, how about something along the lines of Nicole?"
"Nicole..." Mike cooed, repeating the name aloud in order to see how it sounded rolling off her own tongue. "Hmmm... Not bad... I actually kind of like the way Nicole sounds. That's to say, it's got a nice ring to it, kind of sexy, kind of sweet, and with just a hint of the exotic surrounding it... So, what do you think, John? Do I look like a Nicole to you?"
"Yeah... Now that you mention it, you kind of sort of do..."
"Well, then I guess the question is, do you think you could get use to thinking of me as a Nicole?"
"Yeah... I really think I could."
"Michael," Magatrix said. "Just be aware that you if you do elect to go with the name Nicole, people will probably start calling you Nikki as well."
"Hmmm... I guess they will, at that. So, lover," Mike directed her next question to John, "what do you think? Do you like the sound of the nickname Nikki as well as you like the name Nicole?"
"Sure! As far as I'm concerned, they're both great names, you know, as they both sound pretty good to me."
"Okay then, though I might eventually decide to exercise a woman's prerogative to change my mind, I really think for the here and now of it, I'd like to go with the name Nicole. I mean, I can do that, right? You know, as in I can change my mind later on if I want to, can't I?"
"Of course you can, Nicole," Matrix replied with a chuckle. "If you should change your mind, now or in the future, all you need do is to let me know so that I can make all the necessary metaphysical adjustments. So, have you given any thought to a new middle name for yourself as well?"
"I sure have! I think I'd like to go with my grandmother's first name, Corrine!"
"Corrine..." Magatrix mulled the name over. "Nicole Corrine... You know something? Even though it's not a name you hear a lot, I for one kind of like it!"
"I do, too," Nikki shyly admitted.
"Well, I guess that makes it unanimous, because I've got to tell you, I like the sound of it, too," John, not to be left out of the conversation, chimed in.
"Okay!" Magatrix continued, as she tactfully attempted to nudge the conversation in a new direction. "Unless you've already had a change of heart about these new names of yours, the next thing we need to talk about now is, what's going to happen when you start running into friends, family, cohorts and other such sundry people that you know, and who know you."
"Oh, shit! That's right, isn't it! I guess I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do!"
"No!" Magatrix quickly replied. "Not if you don't want to, you don't! You see, Nicole, the way I've got it all rigged, you won't have to explain a damn thing!"
"I won't?"
"No, Nikki! You most certainly won't! I mean, you can if you want to. But, the thing is, if you don't want to, you won't have to. Basically, what is going to happen when someone you know gets an eyeful of the new you, the magic that is now resident within you will cause them to undergo, what might be termed, a memory rewrite. That's to say that all of their memories that portray you as the man you used to be will be overwritten in such a way that they will begin to remember you as the girl you've now become. Now, be advised, Nicole, when this memory rewrite occurs, you may take note that these people that you know and who know you will experience an extremely short-lived period of mild disorientation. That's to say that you might see their eyes glaze over, or a blank look appear on their faces. But don't worry. Rest assured. The disorientation will pass quickly. Truth is, I doubt very much if you will even notice it. That's to say that you have to be really looking for it in order to see it. Even then, the chances are you won't be able to detect it.
"I should also make mention of the fact that people who know you, don't even have to actually see you in order for this memory thingamajig I've been telling you about to occur. That's to say that all they have to do is to look at a picture that's been magically altered to depict the new you, and guess what! As far as they're concerned, you've always been the girl you are now. The same holds true should you talk on the phone with someone you know. Would you believe that as soon as they hear this new and ultra feminized voice of yours, the magic will kick in, and the memory rewrite will take place.
"Oh, and here's something else that's pretty neat! Let's say your mother calls you. Then, after the two of you hang up, your father asks your mother to tell him who she was just talking to, and your mother proceeds to inform him that she was talking to you. Well, guess what! You've just gone and killed two birds with one stone!
"In other words, Nicole, the magic that rewrote your mother's recollections will continue on to do likewise with your father's memories, no matter how recent or vivid those memories of you might well be."
"Are you saying that my parents won't remember me as the boy I used to be?" Nikki was not all that sure she liked that aspect of the deal.
"No. Not initially, they won't. However, should you elect to do so, with them or with anyone else with whom you've ever been in contact, you can always choose to inform them as to what has happened, and their memories will automatically revert back to normal."
"So, what you're saying is, I can selectively elect to share the knowledge of my having once been a man, who has allowed himself to be changed into a girl, with anyone I so choose?"
"Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying. It'll be your choice, and your choice alone, as to who you share your secret with, if that is, you choose to share it with anyone at all. However, I think it might be prudent for you to eventually clue your parents, and perhaps John's parents as well, into what has happened. Now, I'm not saying that you should run out and do that today. But, if I were I you, I wouldn't put if off for too long, either.
"My suggestion would be for the two of you to tell them in a week or so. Believe me, Nicole, your mother, and quite possible John's mother as well, can prove to be tremendous assets when it comes to helping you make the kind of transition that you've taken upon yourself to make."
"Yeah... I guess you're probably right. They could be a big help at that. It's just..." Nikki hesitated.
"It's just that telling your parents about opting out of guy-hood and into girl-hood isn't the kind of thing that you really want to do now, is it?"
"No... You're right! It sure as hell isn't..."
"In other words, you're squeamish about confiding in them, aren't you?"
"Oh, yeah! That's pretty much a given."
"Well, that's perfectly understandable that you feel that way. But, remember. You're not going to have to go it alone. John will be there to help you. And, your folks do like him, don't they?"
"Like him!? Hell, given the chance, my mother would adopt him in a heartbeat! Truth is, she already considers him a part of the family."
"Great! So, what about your father? Does he like John, too?"
"Oh, he likes him well enough. He just thinks that John doesn't have his head screwed on straight some of the time. No, on second thought, make that most of the time. My Dad just thinks that John still has a lot of growing up to do, and that what he really needs is a good woman to straighten him out."
"Okay! Great! That's perfect!"
"And, just what do you mean by that?" Nikki felt compelled to ask.
"Look! When it comes to your father, here's what you ought to do. When you tell your dad about what's going on with you, and that you and John are serious about this getting married business, should he give you any guff, you just lay it all out for him. You tell him in no uncertain terms that the only woman capable of tackling the job of making John walk the straight and narrow would have to think like a man thinks in order to keep one step ahead of your buddy here. Then, once you've got your father on the ropes, so to speak, you move in for the TKO. You tell him that since you were once a man yourself, who not only knows how a man thinks, but who's also very much aware of all of John's foibles and shortcomings, and that if anyone can make your buddy here tow the line, you can.
"And, if that doesn't win your dad over, here's what you do. You call me. Reset assured. I'll set your father straight for you. Deal?"
Without any equivocation on her part whatsoever, Nikki happily replied, "Deal! I just hope you know what you're letting yourself in for."
"Oh, you needn't worry about me, Nicole. Remember, if all else fails, I can always employ a little magic to help persuade your father into seeing things my way. Besides, you know what they say about walking a mile in somebody else shoes?"
"You're not seriously suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" Nikki had to giggle.
"Oh, I don't know. I very well could be. I mean, you of all people know that I am not above doing that sort of thing. Look, as far as I'm concerned, it would do a lot of the men I've had the dubious pleasure of knowing a lot of good to experience what life is like as a woman."
"Now, that would be a hoot!" John chimed in. "I can just picture your father as a saucy burette, trying to maneuver around in a pair of high heeled shoes!"
"Watch it, John!" Nikki coldly cautioned. "Remember, this is my father we're talking about here. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, he isn't the only man I know that could benefit from learning what life is like from the other side of the gender gap."
Knowing that he had inadvertently hit upon one of his friend's emotional hot buttons, John quickly conceded the point, "All right, already! There's no need for you to go getting those new titties of yours in an uproar! Look, I understand completely! This is between you and your father. I'll butt out!"
"Good! I'd really appreciate it if you did! Because, if you don't, if you insist on sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong, I've a good mind to ask Magatrix here to give you a first hand taste of what it's like to be a girl!"
Then, having given John a good piece of her mind, Nikki, upon recalling something that the magician had said, sought clarification, "Magatrix, did I hear you say something or other about me and my having retained a good portion of my manly mindset?"
"Yes, while I didn't say it exactly like that, I did say something to that affect."
"Just for grins and giggles, could you please - Oh! What in the hell is the word I'm looking for?
"Oh! I know! The word I'm looking for is 'enumerate'! In other words, could you please enumerate on what you meant when you said that thing about my mind still being of a manly mindset, you know, because it sure as hell doesn't feel like it is to me!"
"Well, I guess it wouldn't. You see, Nicole, while your body is the epitome of femininity, and there's a fairly sizable portion of your mind that is as well, there's another part of your mental processes which are, and will continue to remain, as manly as they ever were."
"And, why's that?"
"That's because, were I to dicker around with the portion of your mind that retains its manliness, you would no longer be you. You'd be someone else, someone neither you, nor John, nor your friends and family would even recognize anymore. In other words, Nicole, were I to reprogram that portion of your mind where your maleness still abides, you would no longer share the bond of friendship with John that you now enjoy. And, were that bond of friendship dissolved, you would not have the foundation for the longer-term relationship that you both have enjoyed and wish to expand upon, and all of this would have been for naught."
"Wait a second! What do you mean when you say that this would have all been for naught? I mean, was this some kind of fiendish plan of yours to get me to agree to being a girl for the rest of my life, and if it was, I would really like to hear an explanation?"
"Was it a plan? Yes. Was it designed to be fiendish? No. It was not designed to be fiendish by any stretch of the imagination. And yes, you're right. The two of you deserve an explanation. So here it is.
"Last night, prior to the show, when I peeked out at the audience like I usually do, I caught sight of the two of you and the rest, as they say, is history. You see, every now and again I come across two people that are meant to be together. Though I probably don't have to tell you this now, the two of you are such a couple. That's to say that you two are soulmates. You belong together. Trouble is, you were both born into this present reincarnation as members of the same sex."
"You mean to tell us that reincarnation is real."
"Yes, in a manner of speaking, it's real, as in it does happen. Fact is, it happens all the time. However, it doesn't work the way people tend to think it does. Look! Tell you what I'll do, one of these days, how 'bout we get us a case of beer, and the three of us will sit around your kitchen table and hash this reincarnation business all out. But, for the time being, owing to how hairy and convoluted it gets trying to explain it the way it really needs to be explained, will you guys just take my word for it that the two of you were meant to be together, and just leave it at that? All right?
"But, like I said before, for some reason or another, as it sometimes happens, somebody up there at the Conception Center was asleep at the switch, and one or the other of you ended up getting issued the wrong chromosome pairing. And, when that happens, the world's yin and yang become slightly unbalanced and out of kilter and, it like they say, shit happens and unhappiness tends to follow.
"Well, let's just say that in order to atone for some of my own transgressions, I have taken it upon myself to right some of the wrongs. You might even say that people like the two of you, people who should be together but aren't, due to a silly genetic accident that predates their birth, have become my pet project. That's to say that when and wherever possible, I try to make it possible for people like you two to have the kind of happiness and fruitful lives that you were meant to enjoy to begin with.
"Think about it! While both of you have dated quite a few women over the long haul, have either of you ever felt the genuine affinity with another person that you're experiencing for one another right now?"
"No," John freely admitted. "Now that you mention it, I have never felt about any other woman the way I feel about Nikki."
"Nether have I," the former Michael Gerlach added.
Having obtained the acknowledgments she sought, Magatrix continued, "Do you guys understand what I'm getting at? The two of you were made for each other! Last night, all I did was to afford the two of you the opportunity to arrive at that conclusion for yourselves. And, I'll be damned if the two of you didn't!
"Look! If either one of you wants out, now's the time to tell me. In other words, we've reached the speak now or forever hold your piece part the proceedings. John!" Magatrix's voice briskly snapped. "What do you say? Do you want me to leave Nicole like she is, or do you want me to change her back into your buddy, Michael?"
Without any hesitation whatsoever, John replied, "If it's my decision to make, I want Nikki to stay just the way she is. But," he said with deep sense of regret conveyed in his words, "it's not my decision to make. It's Nikki's. However, if Nikki does decide that she can't hack it as a girl, then I'd like to have a go at it. I mean, while I'm not so sure what kind of girl I'd make, I'm willing to give it a shot, because this whatever you want to call it that Nikki and I now have is just too precious and important for me to just throw it all away."
"John," a very moved Magatrix sighed, "you haven't said a whole hell of a lot this morning, but what you have said, has really touched me."
"I wholeheartedly agree with what Magatrix just said," Nikki joyfully sobbed, as a single tear of unparalleled delight rolled down her cheek. "Look, John! Know this! I loved you before you said what you just said! But, if such a thing is even possible, I love you even more now for saying what you just said! But, I need you to understand something! As much as I appreciate what you just said about volunteering to become the girl in this rather unique, if not extremely perverted relationship of ours, that won't be necessary. For better or worse, I've made my decision. Whether or not you want to marry me, I want to remain the woman I am right now. Believe me, now that I had a taste of what it's like being a girl, I don't ever want to go back to being a man.
"Truth be told, John, were it not for the fact that I really got a kick out of feeling that you-know-what of yours stuffed up inside this nifty new little you-know-what of mine, not to mention the fact that I'm actually starting to warm to the idea of becoming a mother one of these days, I'd ask Magatrix to do whatever she has to do to turn you into my lesbian lover-girl. Believe me, pal, having never been a girl yourself, you haven't a clue as to what you're missing!"
"Well, while that might be true, even though it might be fun to find out what being a girl is all about, I kind of like being a guy, especially so when I've got a girl like you, Nikki. So, if it's all right with you, for the time being, I think I'd like to pass on the lesbian lover-girl business."
"Oh! So, I take it you're not ruling it our completely?" Nicole hopefully teased.
"No... I'm not ruling it out completely. Maybe... someday when our sex life needs a kick in the ass, we can give something like that a try."
"Yeah, right! Can you really envision a day when our sex life is going to need a boost?"
"No," John was forced to admit. "I can't. Not if last night was an indication of what it's going to be like."
"Well, just so you know, neither can I..."