Made in Sheffield

Noon

If half of me had decided there was no future in sticking around with Paul, it wasn't my bottom half. I was horny as hell for him. And it wasn't my heart. Paul was the first person I'd seen for what felt like hours who hadn't done me any harm. Even things with Nick - my best mate at Sheffield - seemed fucked up now. As I got to the gates of the Botanical Garden I looked back to see Paul standing alone, his football at his feet, doing nothing except watching me go. I felt guilty for leading him on by tapping off with him again but I felt even more sorry for how he'd feel when he heard I'd attacked a guy, been dumped by Sarah and chucked off my MBA.

At least hearing all that about me would put a stop to his crush.

My jaw tightened at the thought of what he'd think, what I'd look like to him then, and I was glad I'd decided to split. A soft, warm wind was blowing, taking the heat off the afternoon.

I walked along the main road into town, going through different options in my head. If I got to Manchester before evening, no-one I knew there would be at home so I had about four hours to kill before I needed to leave. The memory of how Paul's skin had smelt against me drifted back and my softening dick began to stretch again as I walked along. I had nothing to lose any more opening up to how much I wanted him. I'd never gone all the way with a guy but imagining us together in his bedroom, I badly wanted to be kneeling behind him, him on all fours, my cock ploughing into his ass.

But it wasn't just wanting to fuck him. I really liked the guy. I always had as a mate, now I wanted to be with him properly; to explain to him how I'd got myself in such deep shit in such a short time. I guess I could have turned round right then, gone back to the park and told Paul the truth. If I'd known what was coming next, I wouldn't have hesitated. But I'd decided I wasn't going to stick around. There was just too much to deal with in Sheffield.

I wanted to disappear, to lose myself by being with people who didn't know about any of it. And the only place that seemed safe to hide out in was somewhere else altogether.

How had I got into selling myself? Simple: I need a lot of sex. Up till this point the secret of my success had been never letting my feelings get involved with my ever-active dick. I'd made good money and got my rocks off as often as I liked by not bothering much about whoever I was sleeping with. I saw now that the night before I'd flipped out on Paul because I'd caught myself caring about him. It wasn't a way I'd ever been in the past and it frightened me. I didn't want to feel like that.

Well, old habits die hard and it's probably true that - even though I was genuinely worried about Paul and in a different world I might have married the guy; even though I was in a wagon load of trouble with no tidy way of getting out of it - it's probably true that as I got closer to town and people who didn't mean a thing to me, I was more bothered about looking for an opportunity to get laid than thinking about my problems or what I was going to do about them.

I hadn't forgotten Paul, just the opposite: he'd really turned me on, my balls were boiling for him. But with time on my hands and a hard-on in my jeans I was slipping back into being a cruisy rentboy on the make. It was choosing the immediate gratification of an easy, anonymous fuck over dealing with my feelings for Paul that led to yet another smack in the mouth for my self-confidence.

The moment I collided with Seb, it was as if he immediately understood everything about me. I was smiling at a young guy digging up the road who I'd caught staring me out pretty keenly. I was wondering whether it was worth hanging around to find out if he had the cash on him to pay for it, when a guy came out of a doorway ahead of me and we barged straight into each other.

He was in a lightweight three piece suit, a confident, loaded professional in his mid to late twenties: tall, great tan, wide white smile and about five acres of open charm. He gave me a fucked off look and I stopped to scowl back since it wasn't my fault he'd strode out into the street like he owned it. When he looked at me, his attitude transformed itself. He was laughing and apologising, fixing clear blue eyes on mine that I couldn't break away from. He put his hand on my arm, squeezing my biceps firmly like he was making sure he hadn't broken anything.

"Are you OK? What a klutz. Sorry, sorry."

"Yeah, fine."

He laughed again, kept looking at me a bit longer, left his hand on my arm just a moment too long and then walked on in front of me. He was with an immaculate, important-looking woman of about thirty. I was right behind them so I could hear her flowing into him, both of them locked in a high-power, million-euro world of business a hundred miles from the Sheffield people around them. I was checking out his build. He was tall, broad-shouldered and with an ass so tight that, even though it was half-hidden by the tail of his jacket, it still looked like the rear of the year. Maybe he could feel himself being assessed from behind or maybe he really had sussed me out the moment he'd seen me; whatever, he made time to find a gap in the conversation he was having to look back and give me another grin. It was enough for me to forget the boy council worker I'd been thinking about before and concentrate single-mindedly on pulling him.

He was schmoozing the woman so much she was either his boss or someone he wanted to date or get money from. I got my Raybans from the outside pocket of my bag so I could watch them without being too obvious.

Near the centre of town they stopped by City Hall for what looked like a final chat about how great everything was. They'd been striding along so they were well ahead. I slowed my pace making out I wasn't too sure where I was. Like a private detective tailing the guy, I wanted a cover story in case I'd misinterpreted the look he'd given me. I wanted to be cool, I didn't want to look as dominated by my dick as Stuart Jenks had looked following his Russian. If the guy really was interested in me it had to appear I was hanging around by accident. Who's going to pay for someone they know wants to do it with them anyway?

Why was I bothered about making money out of him? Until something else turned up, selling myself was the only revenue I could be sure of. And if I wasn't after money it would mean I was after sex with a bloke just because I wanted to and the only person I felt that way towards was sadly toe-juggling his football back in the Botanical gardens.

But I had no worries. As I first strolled over to and then sat down on the war memorial ten meters away from him, Seb was keeping close track of me. I lounged there in the sun looking around at Sheffield's architecture like it was one of the wonders of Europe. Leaning back on my elbows so my upper body was flexed and with my legs casually open in his direction, I waited for him to finish saying goodbye to his lady friend and switch his attention to me.

Once they'd air-kissed each other and she'd gone he glanced across again, looking uncertain what to do. He went up to a nearby tour poster for one of the bands appearing at City Hall and checked it out. I recognised it as his way of looking occupied while he made sure he understood what was going on. I took off my sunglasses but carried on lying back in the sun, now looking at him almost continuously. The third and longest time we made eye contact he gave me a flash of the big smile I'd seen earlier and then made a questioning face and raised a finger, beckoning me. I felt like I might be pushing my luck but I didn't want any doubt hanging around so I made my own gesture, raising my hand with my thumb rubbing the tips of my fingers to make it clear I was after his cash. He grinned even wider and patted his breast pocket like, naturally, he'd expected to pay. He pointed to a small, hedged-in square nearby and I nodded.

That was that. With five looks and four gestures - in less than ten minutes of meeting - we'd agreed to have sex with each other.

Seb looked like classic upper class city talent. He had well styled dark brown hair that fell over his face with a wealthy but still boyish, film-star look; an understated but hyper-well-cut suit and all the confidence of someone under thirty already pulling down more money than he was ever going to be able to spend. And he looked like he was on a high. I gave him a minute to find somewhere he felt comfortable talking to me then left the memorial and went into the square myself.

There he was, sitting down, still smiling, not a trace of nervousness: like a master of the universe who was going to have whatever he liked. He got up to shake hands with me as if we were old friends and right off I felt much less in control than on any normal date. He told me his name, that he'd just sealed a deal worth nearly eight million to his company and that he had an afternoon free and was going to celebrate by getting pissed and having sex. His happiness was infectious. I'd started off feeling intimidated by his self-assurance and wishing I was in his class but he was already making me feel I was part of it all;

that he might be paying for it but that he wanted to look after me as well. He seemed to know a lot about me, just on intuition.

"You're a student aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"Well - and I don't say this lightly - you're a really striking person. Did you know that?" He stretched his arm along the top of the bench and gently pushed his hand into my hair, stroking down to rub the back of my neck. While he looked at me, his fingers were moving slightly over the bulge under the dark grey material of his trousers. "What are you, about twenty-one, twenty-two?"

"twenty-two."

"I think you're going to go a long way with those looks, Noah. And if you're any good in bed - and I think you are - I'm going to pay you a lot of money this afternoon. Is that OK with you? Will you come back to my hotel and let me mark the business I've done by fucking you for a few hours?"

"Sure. No problem."

"OK. Excellent.". He pointed at a five star tower. "That's the place. Give me half an hour and I'll see you in the bar. I'm really looking forward to getting to know you, you know?" He took his hand away and got to his feet. "My tail is certainly up this afternoon. Don't be late now."

He walked away, glancing back at me as he left the square. I felt like I was the one who'd been pulled. I checked my watch. It wasn't as if I had any problem sparing the time. The only thing bugging me was that I hadn't mentioned I drew the line at penetration. Maybe he wouldn't want it. Then again, how much longer could I go on saying no? Trawling university halls of residence without having full sex was one thing, but making a living out of hustling with my arse in tact was going to be pretty tricky. It was dodgy. I went off to find a toilet where I could freshen up for him.

I felt conspicuous going into the city's biggest hotel in trainers, tee shirt and jeans. It was even worse waiting in the bar. I didn't have the comfort of thinking this was all a laugh before I became the Birmingham City Council's youngest ever Director of Leisure; prostitution was my trade now. It wasn't good. I bought a beer and sat at a table trying to think of myself as Seb had made me feel earlier, like a friend who was helping him celebrate rather than a piece of meat he'd hired in order to screw.

I guess I was blue because I was nervous, but I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and soon alcohol was working its warm magic on me. Slowly, I started giving less of a toss about the business-people around and looked forward to seeing Seb again. He hadn't hesitated over picking me up or being ready to pay for me and I was pretty sure there weren't many other people around who would have had a chance with him. He wanted me and that mattered a lot.

When he eventually arrived he saw me right away and came over. I'd thought we'd go be going straight up to his room but he sat down beside me. I'd chosen a quiet table away from the bar and in near darkness. The waiter took Seb's drinks order and while the guy was still near enough to notice us, Seb's hand landed on top of mine. His skin was soft as he gently traced over my palm and up my wrist. He looked shy but pleased. My cock was growing as I thought about doing it with him.

"I bet you've got a girlfriend haven't you?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah kind of...she's a nurse."

"Ha, ha. I knew it. We're alike I think." He kept his fingers lightly doodling on my hand when the waiter returned. The poor young guy settling our drinks was shaky with the effort of looking like he wasn't watching Seb's hand finding its way to my knee and then smoothing along my thigh. I parted my legs for him so he could get to my balls, but he was happy for now just to be rubbing up and down the muscle of my upper leg. Seb was obviously accustomed to ignoring the servants so I did too.

"Why? Do you live with someone?"

"Of course. I'm married. I've got a kid, worst luck. We're expecting another now, actually. That's why I'm rather keen about you, Noah. Girls are bad enough, right? But pregnant, well, who wants to know?"

"D'you work in Sheffield?"

"No. London. The City. I'm back there tomorrow."

I was surprised to feel first one and then a second mild, invisible blow to my stomach. I didn't want him to be married; I didn't want him to be living somewhere else. It was distressing to feel so needy.

Now I'd lost my course and Sarah, I was turning out to be as dopey-hearted as Paul had seemed to me the night before, capable of a doomed crush on someone impossible to have. I tried to concentrate my mind on what mattered, guiding Seb's hand so it was firmly around my privates.

He turned his head to face me, his knee moving against mine as I held his hand against myself.

"Very nice. Good, Noah. That's very good." I let him go and he took a sip from his glass with his gaze still fixed on me, his hold still around my crotch. "So what are you studying, then?"

"Recreation Management."

He sighed, thoughtfully; gave me a soft, questioning smile. "Wouldn't you be better off actually doing some management instead of studying it? I know at least one gym-owner right now who'd pay a presentable young man like you in gold to run his place."

"Really? Actually the course isn't going that well"

"Yeah, sure. I mean, if you're ready to move down to the Smoke you could be grossing £40k and a slice of the profits before Christmas. God! Do you doubt it? Don't look like that, Noah. Be poker-faced. Seriously, that kind of money's nothing. As soon as we're through, I'll make some calls, if you like. It would be great to have you down there. I could get you a flat on the route from the office and you could be a kept man. How would you like that? Uncle Seb coming round to collect his rent every night?"

We were both laughing, but I was laughing with my heart soaring. Instead of hanging around in the rain on the streets of Manchester I could see myself running a chain of top people's work-out barns. I didn't like the idea of being Seb's bit on the side but, Jesus, that would be a lot better than waiting outside dingy cottages or signing up with an escort agency.

With an alternative like letting Seb set me up to think about, I couldn't believe I'd even considered Manchester.

"But what about the little lady? You're going to have to do something about her."

"No, Seb, that's not a problem."

"Excellent."

"She's taken the hump with me sleeping with guys. We finished this morning, in fact."

"Oh, well. I'm very sorry to hear that, Noah, but it means there's nothing stopping you. You'll soon meet another woman. London gyms are stuffed with bored executives wives aching to sleep with their personal trainers. And if you want something permanent there are far more presentable girls - far more nurses if you have a thing for them - in London than there are here."

I was confused. I'd swallowed all that stuff Colin and Sarah had drilled into me about being gay. In the park with Paul I'd even admitted to myself the fact I liked being with him a lot more than I'd liked sleeping with Sarah. But here was Seb, married with kids and renting guys, still assuming I'd need a girlfriend even if I was seeing him. I didn't want to wreck things by being heavy but I was curious about what was going on.

The only contact between us now was our firmly pressing knees. I wasn't sure about making a move on him but I wanted to keep him aroused, especially if pleasing him sexually was going to get my life back out of the shithouse. I glanced around then turned my whole body around so we were closer. He grinned.

"What do you want then?"

I let things speak for themselves as I dropped my hand to his crotch and opened up the buttons of his fly. I could feel the quality of the material, could smell the expensive subtlety of his cologne. Looking into the glassy clarity of his blue eyes and watching his smile change as I got closer to his cock, I found my way through the entrance of his underwear and got my fingers around his erection. He sighed as I glossed the beads of precum from his cocktip round and round the smooth dome of his knob.

"That's good. That's so nice. I'm going to like you Noah. What you're handling right now was designed specifically for your rear end. You're a beautiful young guy. I haven't looked forward to a fuck as much since I left boarding school."

He didn't want to wait around any more. He knocked back the end of his Scotch while I re-buttoned his fly, then he chuckled quietly, rubbed his hands together and said, "let's do it."

Both of us got up from the table with hard-ons. While we got out of the bar and waited for the lift, I asked him about whether his wife knew he got up to this kind of stuff.

"Not likely. Otherwise what would be the point of her? Look, Noah the company I work for has offices in ten countries, I'm one of their top eight earners, my dad's an MP. What am I going to do, lead the Gay Pride parade through the West End? Invite my boyfriend to the wives night at Lord's? I don't think so."

We were alone in the lift. He was still talking as the doors closed and we moved upwards but now he was talking with his hands on my chest, shoving me with some force back against the elevator wall. It was clear he liked to be in charge. He felt up my body and slid his hands round to fill each of them with my denim-covered buttcheeks. Pulling me towards him he said, "Making money and getting power means compromising a little bit here and there. Julia, my wife, has got everything she wants: that's her reward for fathering my children. I'd rather not bother with them but people like a family man and who else is going to inherit it all when I'm gone? I'd rather it was my own brood than my sibs' kids, even if wives are a drag when you're trying to sleep."

I was starting to think Seb might not be the kind of guy I'd want to hang around for long, but there was no disputing that it was pretty sexy situation to be nose-to-nose in a confined space with him. He'd shut up and we were looking into each other's eyes, close to our first kiss, his long brown ropes of fringe falling across his face as he beamed at me approvingly. I moved my mouth forward slightly and there it was: we were getting off together.

He kissed gently but he was pushing his groin hard against mine, thrusting so that - even through our clothes - we could feel each others pricks. I liked the taste of his mouth and the way he drew back from me, teasing me so I had to lean forward further to get my lips back against his. While he kept hauling my asscheeks apart, my hand travelled over his shoulders and down his back, under the tail of his jacket to the backside I'd fancied so much when I'd first seen it on the streets. Well tailored in thin wool cloth he had the kind of tense high-cheeked backside you only see on male models and superheroes. It was the kind of butt that begs you to either caress like its precious or slap like it's been bad. Both of us were breathing fairly hard, self-control losing out to the craving for sex. He pushed me back from him. Disappointed to break off from kissing him, I at least got another chance to check out how attractive he was.

"I want you. This is going to be good isn't it?"

"Fuck, yes."

"And once I've got you set up in London you're going to be all mine, OK?"

"Yeah. Ready when you are."

"I'm going to have you every day, Noah. Ride you like I'd ride a stallion. Get you trained so you can give me exactly what I want."

"You got it, Seb."

"That's the right attitude. You please me and you can have anything you want. I'm going to take care of you like I own you. I'm so hungry for you. I want to have you; have you now."

We kissed again, harder than before. I was annoyed when a soft electric tone sounded and the lift stopped. The doors slid open and Seb let me go, glancing down to look at the hard on pressing up under the front of my jeans. When he saw there was no-one on the floor, he reached for my hand and we walked to his room like newly weds. He swiped his card in the lock, gave me one last grin and led me in.

Inside Seb's exec suite was a laptop hooked up to the phone, an open briefcase, business papers, suit bags, all the everyday kit of a busy young player on the up. In a way, he was how I was supposed to have been in about five years time. Looking around while he chucked stuff off the beds I thought about how much I admired him. I wanted him to help me, to learn from him. It made me eager to do anything I could for him to give him a good time in bed.

He straightened up and came back over, taking off his jacket. In his shirtsleeves and waistcoat he looked even more fuckable, like he was getting down to business. Only instead of a boardroom, he was in a hotel bedroom and the business he was getting down to was having sex with a twenty-two year old University football captain. I felt shabby in my gear but he didn't seem to mind.

"Take your tee shirt off."

Relieved I'd remembered to wash Paul's spunk off my stomach, I pulled my tee out of my jeans and over my head. He swore happily about the gym-fresh muscles of my upper body and stepped right up to me, unbuckling my belt and unbuttoning my fly. I put my hand behind his head and pulled his face back to mine. His hand went inside the crotch of my open jeans and slid firmly round the outside of my underwear. I felt the warmth of his fingers squeezing the stiffness of my rod while his other hand found one of my nipples and gently circled it. He dropped his mouth and flicked the tip of his tongue against my tit, looking up at me.

I pushed my jeans down, wanting both of us to be bare-assed as soon as possible; but he was cool, keeping things at his own pace, which was nice and slow. He stood back to look at me in nothing but my briefs, his hands on his hips while he took his time appraising me. I liked the idea of him looking me over as if I was something he was considering investing in because I was confident he'd want me. He'd said he liked my face, I knew my body was in good shape and I had a thick length of full-grown hard on distorting the front of my pants.

"I wish I had a camera," he said. "You better take those off Noah, hadn't you?"

I hooked my thumbs into the last piece of clothing I had on and slid them down so they dropped to the floor leaving me naked.

He was smiling pretty broadly again, but still keeping his distance. He asked me to get on the bed, so I untangled my ankles from the mess of trainers, socks, jeans and briefs and lay down on my back for him. He sat by the side of me while he unknotted his highly polished Italian footwear.

"That's some dick you've got, you know. If you'd been at my school you'd have been quite a popular boy. All that for me, eh? Good man."

I laughed and touched him while I reached for what he was talking about and slowly wanked it, thinking about him. He lay down with me, sliding his arm behind my head.

"Hey, hey! Stop that," and he brushed my hand away. "I own all this." He certainly handled his property with care. He tickled his fingers gently over my thighs then traced a single fingertip over my balls and up the sensitive underside of my penis, lightly dabbing at my glans when he reached the top. I was biting my lip, eyes shut, feeling him tease my cock. He liked doing it but took pity on me, wrapping his hand round to firmly unsheathe me while pressing his mouth on mine. He lifted one of his legs over me and through the fine material of his suit I felt his erection compressed against my outer leg. My left arm was between us so I lifted my hand to press down under his ass between his legs, putting pressure on his nuts. He climbed on top of me as we continued to kiss and I felt the bed gently give under the joint weight of us. He was humping me, rubbing our bone-hard cocks together with each thrust. I ran my hands over the cheeks of his arse, enjoying the pert firmness of his tensed backside while he pushed himself rhythmically against me.

I couldn't wait any longer to get closer to him. I rolled sideways, tipping him off me onto his back while our tongues stayed suctioned in each others mouths. His trousers were well tailored, designed to hide whatever state a businessman might be in, but even so the line of his organ was clear against the light grey wool. I groped him then began undressing him, loosening his tie then popping each button on his waistcoat and pulling quickly at each button on his shirt. His chest was hairy; and he wasn't ripped but was in good shape nonetheless. I licked at his throat while forcing my hand down his stomach and inside his trousers. He gasped gently as I reached his wet, cut, rock-solid prick and began working it. He held my wrist, stopping me.

"Hey, hey. Easy, tiger. I want to save some of that for your arse."

I let him go, pulling my hand out and raising my head, looking down at him, not knowing exactly what to say.

"I've never done it."

"What? Never?"

"No. I just tell people I'm not going to before anything starts."

"You're going to with me though, Noah." It didn't sound like a question.

"I don't know. It's a big step. I'm not sure, Seb. I'd rather not."

"I can't let you out of this room unless you let me do it to you. I'm really good. It's not going to hurt you and it's going to make me very happy."

He'd noticed I was getting uncomfortable and became gentler, rubbing the back of my neck and then kissing my face.

"I want to look after you in London. And if I'm the only one who's fucked you that'll make you mine even more than getting you a flat or a job. If you don't let me do it, it'll be somebody who doesn't care about you as much as me. You want to make me feel good don't you?"

I put my hand back on his crotch, this time on the outside of his trousers. I squeezed down his dick with my thumb and forefinger, feeling how big he was.

"You reckon you can use all this on me but it isn't going to hurt, right?"

"Not at all. You'll like it. I've been banging guys since I was fourteen. I know what I'm doing. I'll make you love it. My balls were built for you."

We kissed again and he got up from the bed. I stayed where I was, watching him. He unknotted his tie, removed his waistcoat and took off his shirt. He had the build of a cricketer or hockey player, firm and lean rather than properly worked on in a gym. The hair on the tanned skin of his chest and stomach reminded me he was older and as he unbuttoned his trousers I reached for my dick again, turned on by the idea of being shagged by him. He dropped the pair of black silk boxers he was wearing and came back towards the bed, standing over me. I carried on slowly tugging at myself while feeling up the back of his downy leg from calf muscle to upper thigh then onto his smooth, round butt. His cock was neatly cut, lightly veined and thick, his balls cupped close to its root, its head a perfect, dripping light purple dome. My hand was firm round his buttock, my fingers near his gash; I was admiring his cock with my own cock in my hand: what did I have to lose by getting fucked? He was offering to rescue me from living on the streets, I fancied him and it was after one o'clock: everyone I cared about at college would be listening to what John Royal had to say about me. What was the point in acting like a kid, why not take it like a man?

If Seb had been less expert at sussing people out he might have reminded me more powerfully that he was paying; was entitled to use me how he liked. But, as I've said, I think he knew what he was about from the very beginning. I didn't. He took the hand I had wrapped round my dick and pulled me to my feet. Our hard dicks were touching as we stood together. He swept the hair out of his eyes and pulled me closer so his arms were round me again. I could feel the hairy heat of his balls against me, our cocks knocking one another like two heavy pieces of smooth, warm wood. He circled his hands over my shoulders and down my back while I held him less confidently. Cheek to cheek we were like a couple once the slow numbers have started playing at a club. It was as if Seb was changing the pace in order to relax me. He held, touched and kissed me like I was something precious he didn't want to harm. I was being seduced and it was working.

I trusted him. I believed he cared about me. I wanted to do it with him. When we drew apart, he took my hand again, leading me over to a full length mirror where he turned me so I was looking at myself face on with him behind me. He put his chin on my shoulder and ran his hand over my chest.

"How much do you work out?"

"About an hour a day."

"This is a good chest. You're like a Roman gladiator."

"Yeah, and you're the emperor who's captured me." He liked that idea, holding me tighter with one arm while his free hand moved his dick, forcing it far enough down to fit between my asscheeks. It was pushing up against my crack, making me think he'd been right: if I let it happen I really might enjoy getting fucked.

"So, slave-boy, are you going to let me own you properly or do I have to have you tortured?"

He smoothed down my stomach to my balls and held them, then gripped my prick and slid my foreskin back. I said nothing as he yanked on me. He kissed the back of my neck while moving his hips enough to thrust the meat nudging my ass back and forwards. His bulb was prodding the back of my scrotum then rubbing against my anus. I wasn't answering him, but with my cock dripping lube down his hand and my backside pushing backwards to meet his rhythm, it was pretty obvious what I wanted him to do. Our eyes met in the mirror and he smiled and stopped moving. He could see he'd got me to exactly the point he wanted.

This guy, who must have been on fifty or sixty K and had the class, charm and looks to fuck anyone, was spending all this time over getting his dick into me. I liked the look of him, I wanted to please him so he'd help me and - most of all - I was flattered by a guy like he was, taking so much trouble to have me. We moved back to the bed and he guided me to sit on the edge of it, so my face was on a level with the cock that had been frottaging my rear entry. Even this part of him smelt more of classy cityboy fragrance than it did of dick. I wet my lips and smeared them lightly down his stem to its root, my chin against his soft hairy balls. I licked the crevice under his cock while he stroked my hair then I opened wide and filled my mouth with the hot, spongy hairiness of half his nutsack. He made oomph-ing sounds while my tongue washed round first the left and then his right testicle, his dick banging against my face. With my teeth shielded with my lips, I champed on his balls until he moved to sit down close beside me and put his arm around my shoulders.

Both our dicks had been hard since I'd groped him downstairs, now we were sitting naked together taking a good look at each others equipment. Seb reached over and took me in his hand again, bringing his face close and breathing softly through his nose while he nudged it against my face. It felt good to have him holding me and he was being so gentle I was both aroused and relaxed at the same time. I slid my arm under his and duplicated the grip he had on me. We were straight into each others eyes as we matched each other stroke for stroke. He landed light butterfly kisses against my cheeks, eyes and lips as his dick slid through my fist. quietly he mumbled,

"Will you let me take you properly, Noah?" I paused.

"I guess." Even though it was what he'd been working on, Seb didn't miss a beat. Agreeing to get fucked by him seemed like a natural development.

"You're not going to be sorry. Forget whatever you've heard, you're going to love it. Just think of all this right inside you. Making you mine. Then every night when I come round to the flat I'm going to buy for you, you're going to let me do it to you again."

I guess the guys in the football team might have had a problem with what I'd just agreed to do. As Seb got up saying he had just the thing for me, I thought about agreeing to take it up the ass. Getting sucked off, even giving someone else a blow-job, that wasn't such a big deal but I guess not many of the lads - yeah, not many of the lads that's for sure - would think of getting screwed by another guy as just another normal part of a healthy sex life. Taking dick was a woman's job that's what I'd have said if anyone had asked. But in Seb's room that afternoon, I didn't feel like his girlfriend, or his wife or like a fully fledged fruit or any of the things I might have expected. I felt like myself. I felt like I really wanted to feel him up my butt. He came back from his brief case with a small bottle and two spliffs. Drugs wrecked my training but it was going to be a while, I thought, before I needed to worry about anything more than keeping Seb happy so when he passed me one of the joints, I reached over for the lighter on his bedside table to get it started. Almost straight away, I felt even looser and more laid back than before. We moved onto the bed again, lying together, his arm around me while we shared his blow. When he wasn't smoking, Seb was touching me up: tracing his fingers over my chest or lightly fingering my cock.

"So you never wanted to go all the way before?"

"Not with another guy, no."

"Wow."

"When did you first do it?"

"At Roedean but I didn't know how much I liked it until my father - he was a diplomat for a while - took on this driver, Marco, who spent all of my favourite schoolboy summer holidays teaching me how good two men can be in bed together." He grinned down at me, "I'm going to be your Marco, Noah."

He leaned forward and we kissed again. I ran my fingers up the ridges of his cock.

"How big is it, actually?"

"What do you reckon? Seven inches or so? But I promise, it's going to be good for you. You'll know it's up there but you'll like it. Would I lie to you?"

"And what's the bottle for?"

"It's massage oil. We have lots of time, Noah. I've got all afternoon. You're going to be so comfortable when I give you this unhurried seeing to I have planned you're not even going to know you're being taken until you feel my balls flush against you. And I'll pay well for taking your virginity, believe it."

The cannabis was really kicking in. I felt like warm putty. A whole team of Sebs could have been hankering for my ass and I would have let them. Seb himself was still on one elbow, dragging the backs of his fingers up and down my abdomen or lightly flicking at the head of my cock. Reaching over me, he picked up the little bottle of oil, unscrewed its cap with one hand and dripped some of the heavy musky-smelling contents over my chest. He began smearing the pool collecting between my abdominals out to my tits and lubing up my nipples. When they were both covered, he tweaked and pinched at them until they were as red and hard as my dick itself. Whether it was the grass or the heady smell of the oil or just Seb's understanding of how to treat a guy, I was responding like I'd lost my mind. Seb moved away from beside me. He picked his glossy boxers up from the floor then - to help me concentrate on what he was doing to me - dropped them over my face. I could smell his scent on the coolness of the silk and as he climbed astride my stomach I inhaled, wanting to remember what it had been like to have my face between his thighs. Unable to see him any more, I felt his full hands smoothing firmly up from my lower chest, over my pecs and shoulders then round my neck and down my arms. Sliding over my muscles with gentle but confident authority, Seb was teaching me the difference between a rub down from a physio and a massage as foreplay. Tugging both my nipples at once he leaned forward and kissed me through his own underwear so I could taste both his saliva and the silk that had been round his crotch. He pulled the boxers away with his teeth so I could see him again. He wasn't smiling now, he was serious about getting my whole body covered in the glaze he was applying to me. Missing out my packet, he knelt between my widely parted thighs and reached back to dribble oil up my leg. Leaning on his haunches pushed his dick forward and I looked at it, admiring it, thinking about being fucked by it. Seb turned to face forwards again, looking at me as he tipped the bottle up over my hard on. Lifting my balls with his fingertips, he coated those as well and kneaded the lubrication up from the base of my tool to its tip. When it was as well-basted as he wanted, he held both it and his own shaft in a single fist and poured more oil, this time over both of us. With our two hard, slippy dicks gripped together it wouldn't have taken much more to make me come, especially when it occurred to me that what Seb was doing was getting his cock lubricated ready to fuck me with it.

I'd enjoyed being naked with Seb, being close to his balls and being massaged by him. Horny, stoned and oily I felt ready to let him do anything he wanted to me, but it wasn't until he asked me to turn over onto my front that I realised I really was going to let him penetrate me.

I'd always been an assertive, attacking footballer. Apart from Esther - the bitch who'd tied me up - I'd never let a client take control for real. So showing my arse to Seb that afternoon was breaking new ground. I trusted him and I was inviting him to take me like I never thought I'd get taken. I was partly humiliated by offering myself to him and partly worried about what my mates might have thought if they'd seen us, but mostly - and I've got to admit this - I wanted to feel him fucking me. I wanted to be good for him.

I thought he'd make a beeline for my butt, but Seb didn't seem in any hurry to get going. I shut my eyes as he dripped more oil down my back and began moulding his soft, firm hands over my shoulders and down the sides of my abdomen. Whatever stress was still hanging around my body melted away as he pushed me down into the mattress, smearing the sexy-smelling liniment into me. He lowered himself onto me, one arm sliding under me to cradle my cock while the other squeezed at my breast. I could feel his greased dick pressing hard along the crack of my backside and, with out thinking about it, I raised my butt to meet it, like I really needed it inside me. Seb's mouth opened against the back of my neck and while his knob pushed between my buttocks he softly bit at me like we were animals planning to mount. I was breathing harder now, more eager for the fucking to begin than the guy who was going to fuck me. He grabbed a pillow from the top of the bed and got back up onto his knees behind me. He pushed my thighs further apart, splitting the cheeks of my arse so my hatch was on show to him. I was moving my dick against the bed, rhythmically pushing myself up towards him. I didn't give a toss about how exposed I was, all I wanted was to feel Seb putting his cock into me. He pushed the pillow underneath my crotch, raising my ass still further so my face was buried deeper into the duvet.

Then I felt the dribble of more thick oil, this time running down from the base of my spine down into the open crack of my butt cheeks. With a single gentle finger, Seb spread the warm lotion down the exposed valley of my ass and then round and round the entrance to my body. At the same moment I knew how good it was going to feel to have his dick up there, I felt the lips of my ass relax completely and Seb's finger push into me. For the first time in my life, I was being fingered by another guy.

Laying open Colin Wright's arse the night before had got me horny as a stag so I knew how good the sight of a guy's little hole could be if you were in the mood. I'd almost lost control thinking about doing it to Colin, but Seb still seemed more interested in giving me a good time than in taking advantage of the easy fuck I was offering him. He teased me with his finger, letting no more than the tip of it probe round the very inside of my ring, then slipping it out and round the sensitive circle of muscle surrounding it. Simultaneously, he had his other hand caressing the base of my cock and then confidently fondling the aching nuts underneath.

At times I wasn't sure exactly what it was he was doing to me, but I knew more and more of his finger was going into me each time. Despite his promises he wasn't going to hurt me, I didn't believe It was going to be a breeze having him inside me until he moved onto the next stage of his gameplan. Raising my rear end still higher, he pushed not one but two fingers through the gateway of my butt at the same time. I'd been trying to relax things down there, but now - involuntarily - my gash contracted and a tide of strong physical forces surged over me. Once the grip I had on his fingers loosened up again, he began sliding them slowly back out then, just when I thought I was going to lose them, he pressed them home so he was sunk knuckle-deep.

He released my balls and leaned forward, his hand pushing down on the back of my head as those two firm oily fingers began fucking me for real.

"OK, Noah?"

"Yeah," I grunted.

"That feels all right?"

"Oh, yeah...it's good."

"OK. Hold on."

He let his fingers slip out and I felt him move from the bed to find a condom. I looked back to watch him rip open the packet and roll it down his hard-on. I thought about the girls I'd rubbered up for. Instead of feeling odd about someone wearing a Johnny for my benefit, the idea of getting fucked was no problem for me at all. Until Seb I would never have pictured myself taking it. But now, guys like us going at together seemed natural. Since I had a dick too, I knew how Seb's felt and how good I wanted it be for him; how much I wanted him to enjoy riding my ass.

With his cock sorted out, Seb came back over to me. I was bracing myself: thinking how I could make it better at the same time as getting ready for the pain I'd been warned about by Manc rentboys. He stroked his hands up my back, leaning over me with his legs alongside mine, his balls against my ass and his stomach on my back. He pushed his arms under me and rubbed the smooth skin of his face against my cheek. He licked around my ear, whispering stuff about how he was going to look after me and how I was the best guy he'd ever been with. It was good to feel him on top of me, to smell him and to be buttered up by praise from him. I felt him reach for his dick and move it so its head was right against the warm, slippery little porthole he'd been working on. As he dug it against the puckered ring I felt worried it wasn't going to work, but - pushing backwards against him - it began happening. One second there was a big, blunt intruder nudging at me and the next I could feel it sliding in. Seb sighed with force as we both felt his inch long helmet cross the threshold. He paused. Instead of pain, all I felt was a strong urge to have the rest of his cock slide into me. He took purchase on my shoulders and - still guiding himself with one hand - began pushing forward again. If I'd thought about it beforehand I'd have been sweating about being too passive, but hearing the changing pace of Seb's breathing and knowing it was my ass that was pleasing him so much, I felt more like I was taking him than he was taking me.

I guessed the next pause signalled that he was fully in. I could feel the bowl of his hips against my butt and his balls right up against mine. He pushed the hand that had been round his cock underneath us and found my dick. I reached backwards, forcing my fingers between his crotch and my ass so I could feel the hairy root of his weapon, checking every centimetre of it was inside.

There'd been no pain, only the odd uncertainty about what was going on, and all I felt now was our closeness. Seb kissed the back of my neck and squeezed the head of my dick. Then, he used his arms to lift himself upwards slightly so his abdomen was no longer on top of my back. The only points of contact between us now were our locked legs, the front of his thighs against my buttocks and the long length of meat he'd forced into the tight sleeve of my inexperienced butt. Even though he was above me and his hard dick was deep inside me, I still felt like I was the one who was leading things; that didn't last long.

Seb had stopped whispering about how great I was and his hands were no longer searching for new ways of turning me on. He knocked my hand away from between us and gripped my hips tightly while thrusting forwards like he was trying to get his bollocks into me as well. As he pushed heavily against me my face was squashed into the bed and I began thinking my comfort wasn't his priority any more. When he began pulling his dick back out of me a whole new set of fuck-related feelings spread upwards from my ass. I could feel each thick centimetre of him all over again. He withdrew to the point where the dome of his helmet was at my lips then - with a forceful buck of his pelvis - he sunk back in. That caused moderate pain, but mainly it felt hot. I shut my eyes, feeling not much different personally than if Seb had been paying to suck me off: all I had to do was keep quiet and take it; if I found something to enjoy about it so much the better. I still wanted to do anything I could to make my ass a better shag but Seb seemed to be looking after himself. I should have guessed, those first few slow strokes were his way of breaking me in. He was still treating me like a virgin. Once both of us could feel that I'd relaxed - the moment I was at ease enough to experiment by doing stuff like flexing my hole around him or pushing backwards to match his drives into me - Seb moved up a gear.

Pushing down hard on my back, he began ramming forwards like a machine. I was flattened, my neck twisting painfully as he hammered away at my butt.

"You like this, you like this?" He panted

His balls were slamming against mine, his hips bouncing hard against my buttocks. My mouth was buried in the mattress, my jaw locked with the strain of taking it. I couldn't speak.

"Fucking take it, fucking take it, fucking take it," he grunted through gritted teeth with each lunge into me. He changed position so suddenly he was low down on top of me again, his open mouth against my neck. He pulled back so almost his full cock was outside my ass then, as he rammed it back in he bit at my ear. My brain was thrown by the hard punch of being penetrated by his dick at one end at the same time as being bitten by him at the other. I yelled out and tried to pull my ass away from him but he had me pinned down and knowing he'd hurt me only egged him on.

He lifted himself up, locking his arms so his full weight was pressing on top of me and then he began to fuck me for real. I was angry but he was out of control. I knew if I tried turning us over he was going to end up ripping my backside so I had no choice but to put up with the pain and wait for his clearly near-at-hand climax to arrive. He was crying out with each quick poke of his horn. It was like being under a wild animal and it was obvious he couldn't keep it up for long. Within a few seconds, the pounding stopped, his body spasmed into rigidity and he made a noise like he'd been shot. He flexed full length up me a final time and I knew that, somewhere deep inside my chute, Seb's come was spurting out of him.

His body flipped from fully tensed to completely relaxed. He collapsed on top of me with a long held-in sigh. My ear was bleeding and getting fucked didn't seem like such a mutual thing any more. But it only took a few seconds work from my own still raging sex drive to get over that. With his big dick still tight up my ass and our balls crushed together, with his arms around me and him recovering against me I was pretty sure I'd given him the fuck he'd wanted and I was satisfied to wait while he got over it.

I'd let Paul bring himself off against me, now Seb had used my body to help himself shoot a wad as well; these guys were getting theirs while my own cock did nothing but stay erect for their benefit. With Seb lying knackered on top of me I was finding it difficult to breathe. Trying not to disturb his post-coital chill out, I tipped myself over slightly so I was midway between being on my front and being on my side. Seb's weight was now on the bed more than on me but his hard prick was still embedded up my ass and it felt ok. I knew there was no way he could have me more completely, no way we could be more closely joined. I wanted to jerk off thinking about it and the silk boxers he'd been wearing all day were still near me so I picked them up, pressed them to my nose and inhaled his scent while he fell asleep. My palm was wrapped round the wet tip of my dick and I began squeezing at myself as I felt the bone up my bum starting to lose its hardness. Breathing heavily in his sleep his mouth was wet against the back of my neck and his body was damp with the sweat he'd worked up fucking me. I breathed in through his shorts, filling my lungs with the scent of him and thinking about taking his ass the way he'd taken mine. If he'd agree to calm down a bit when he was on the go, Seb could be a great long time fuck buddy. As my fist worked up and down the solid pole I'd given myself I dropped his underwear and reached backwards to clamp my hand around his ass. I remembered how much I'd admired it on the street and smoothed over the tight, round curves of it. Wanking with a globe of perfect hairless City boy buttock in my hand, I was getting closer and closer to the orgasm I'd been waiting for. But thinking about Seb wasn't enough to get me there. His now near-flaccid cock began sliding out of me and as I had the freedom to draw myself further from under him, I let go of him, and switched hands on my dick, working harder on frigging myself. My mind wandering from Seb, I thought about Paul; about being between his thighs with my tongue exploring his privates the night before. I thought about him doing to me what Seb had done and then about me doing it to him. That was it. Imagining Paul and I taking turns to fuck each other got me where I wanted. I squirted out the come that had been churning inside my balls since being with Paul in the Botanical Gardens. Seb's cock was still dripping his load near my backside while my own sperm flooded out of me to add to the mess of spunk and massage oil we'd made of his hotel bed.

Usually, if I come with someone who's paying for it, there's no hanging around wondering about how I feel, I get on my way and don't look back. It was strange having nowhere else to go, especially since I'd just been thinking about being with Paul and all my plans for the future involved never seeing him again. I had to wait, dependent on what Seb wanted to do next. Not my way at all, but Seb was my future; that's all I had.

I levered the rest of my way out from under my first ever male fuck, leaving him to snore while I found my clothes and made for the bathroom. Naked in the gold and marble facilities next door I ran a bath while checking my bitten ear in the mirror. My cock was hanging flaccid and the sexual hunger that had driven me into chasing Seb had gone. Getting fucked had been ok, I'd do it again for sure, but I felt crap about the battering I'd taken, like Seb didn't give a toss how much he hurt me, I was only there for him to use. Steam covered the mirror and stopped me from brooding over what an oily, tousled shag I looked. I climbed into the huge white tub and let my body slide under the soft, cleansing heat of the water.

I regretted thinking about Paul. I was fairly sure he'd never have let himself get taken so brutally by a stranger. He'd never have sold himself in the first place. For the second time that day I was thinking about the guy I'd blown out with such contempt the night before and wishing I was more like him. I gave myself another thirty seconds of full strength self pity then surged up from under the water, got to my feet and span the tap that opened up the shower. Strong jets gushed over me and I pulled myself together.

There was no going back. Letting Seb fuck me had got a big obstacle out of the way, I had no fear about taking it up the ass any more. And, anyway, I'd been as good as guaranteed a London gym to run and somewhere to live. I didn't want to sponge but with no future at college and the threat of a police interview over what I'd done to Colin, I had to take any help I could get. Seb had been rough but, if I'd thought about it, I'd have realised much sooner you didn't get his power and money without having a darker, ruthless side as well. He liked turning mean in bed? Well, for the right rewards I wasn't afraid to suffer a bit. If he could give it, I could take it. Especially if it came with a flat and a job. I made my mind up to make the best of things, got out of the shower and began getting dried.

I'd been away from Seb for about twenty minutes. I pulled on my jeans thinking about getting drunk with him for the rest of the day, the two of us sleeping together that night and then him taking me down the M1 next day. Given enough time, I might have gone on to imagine us choosing engagement rings and him buying me a Porsche for Christmas, but I was distracted by the sound of movement in the bedroom.

I swept back my wet hair and checked I still looked ok before opening the door, ready to suggest a quiet bar we could go to. Seb wasn't expecting to see me that was clear. He must've got busy the second I left him because none of his stuff was left unpacked. He was fully dressed in a shirt and Chinos and his suitcase and briefcase were in his hands.

I felt surprise, then confusion and finally a rising kind of nausea as I realised what a twat I'd been to think he was going to make everything all right again. He looked straight at me and we both knew what was going on.

"I've left you two hundred, yeah?"

"That's it then?"

"Let me give you a tip. I don't know if you've done this before but don't get attached. It's too tempting to lead you on."

"What you said in the bar, that wasn't for real?"

"About setting you up for life? Are you joking?" He was laughing at me. I was nothing to him.

"Well, what about a lift to London?"

"No way. Fuck off."

"Seb, I'm in trouble here. I never did that with anyone before. I've got to get away. I thought you could help."

"Don't call me Seb. If you think that's my real name you're even more naive than you appear. I've fucked boys all over Europe, Noah; and I'm ready to pay them well for it but they don't become personal friends. Whatever I said to you, that was just pillow talk. Whatever problems you've got they're your problems. Now, get out of my way."

I did the opposite. I stepped up to him so we were face to face. Inside I understood how Paul must have felt when I'd told him he was free to top himself so far as I was concerned. I felt powerless, humiliated, abandoned.

I took two fistfuls of the front of Seb's shirt and pulled him towards me, but there was nothing I could say. Twenty-four hours before I'd have been keener to be away than he was; now things had flipped round it was no good fighting the rules of the game I'd got myself involved in.

I let him go and he moved quickly past me to the door. I kept my back to him with my eyes shut, wondering if I could hold it together until he left.

"You need help. You can't threaten someone whose just paid two hundred quid for your arse. If I'm ever up here again and you come near me I'll be paying less than that to have you shot. You dangerous little boy."

I was desperate. I didn't know whether I was going to smash up the room or fall down on my knees and start begging life to leave me alone. I'd treated Paul wrongly; what I'd done to Colin was terrible, and maybe John Royal had finally doled out the punishment I was owed for all the students I'd made money from. But to be rejected like that by someone I'd been screwed by, someone I'd pinned the last of my hopes on, seemed like one smack in the mouth more than I could take.

Seb had to help me. There was none else.

Living as rent in Manchester was beyond me, I could see that now. I didn't have whatever it takes to be like that. I was less independent than I thought.

I grabbed my bag and the cash he'd left and ran out of the room down the corridor to the lift. He was inside and on his way already so I barged through a swing door onto the stairwell and began leaping down in circles, whole flights at a time. I didn't know what I was chasing but I was certain if Seb left, I'd be finished. Risking fractured ankles or a broken neck I plunged further and further down like there really was a chance that if I was fast enough I could cut Seb off and make him change his mind.

I got to the ground floor in time to see him emerging from the lift. I hung back, watching while he went to reception and handed over his credit card. I'd made a mistake taking hold of him upstairs so I was determined to be calm.

Once he'd signed his bill and picked up his bags, I followed him at a distance out of the exit and down to the basement car park, my heart still racing with desperation. He crossed to a dull gold BMW and opened up the boot.

"Seb?"

He slammed the lid down and stepped back, his palms raised and open like he didn't want any trouble, he was ready to run.

"I'm sorry. Can't I talk to you?"

"I've never known anything like this. Get away from me."

I thought quickly

"Look, I could mess up your life. I could tell your wife what you did to me, your boss, your Dad, the papers."

"You don't know shit about me. The woman you saw me with earlier, she'll be in Berlin by now. You can't touch me because you don't know anything. You don't know anything about me because you're nothing to me. Now get the fuck away from my car."

I stood still while he got in. I waited while he turned the engine over. I watched while he drove off.

Left alone in the dirty gloom of an underground car park with nowhere to go and no-one to turn to, I looked down at the ground and put my hands to my head. For the first time since I was a child I felt my face tighten like I was about to cry.

Real Time

37

COPYRIGHT ( Alistair Stevenson 2002