Lukas

Chapter 7

"My dad splurged for first-class tickets, so he and Aunt Rena should be among the first people out of the plane," Lukas said, looking at Severin.

It was an innocuous comment, but Severin didn't say anything.

"Uncle Sev?" Lukas asked, seeing him staring ahead.

"Oh...ugh... sorry, I guess I was just distracted for a moment.

It reminded Lukas of the first time that he met him. He was of course friendly and was a person who seemed always in command of himself, but there was something now brewing underneath: The contrast was even more apparent as he got to know him better and see his confidence and leadership whenever he visited Sev at work.

When his Dad and Aunt finally emerged, he noticed that Severin swallowed, but smiled and moved toward his Dad. They practically blocked the line as they embraced, Hans putting Severin in a bear hug that Severin clearly didn't expect. And then he kissed him on each cheek, then ran his fingers through Severin's hair. This time, Hans clearly took the lead, but unlike over 40 years ago, they both stood and enjoyed the moment.

They exchanged a few words, causing Severin to wipe his eyes with his sleeve, and then Hans to also wipe his eyes, before he smiled and said, "Let me greet my son before I forget about him," as they all laughed.

"But before that, I want to re-introduce you to my sister, Rena," he said before she embraced him with an almost equal fervor.

"This is for me and Uncle Fexl, who couldn't make the trip now. But he will follow up, along with a few other Richters. The whole family wants to meet you," she said, then added, "You saved our lives."

Severin smiled, then wiped his sleeve across his face again, forgetting that he even had a handkerchief. "I would be glad to meet all of them," he answered, not acknowledging the compliment.

"That's' good, because I told them that you'd be visiting us next year," Hans answered.

Severin smiled. "Just as long as you don't put me in the basement," he replied, to laughs from all the Richters.

Hans then embraced his son, holding him tight, then running his fingers through his hair, too. "Thank you, Luka," he said, "This is all because of you. Thank you, thank you!! he repeated quietly in his ear.

"I was lucky, Dad, but I'm really glad I found him and I'm even more glad that both you and Aunt Rena could come," he responded.

With all the emotion between the elder Richters and Severin, Lukas took the lead and told everyone that they need to get going and head to Severin's car, the corporate limousine that he saved for foreign politicians and businessmen who liked to feel important. He never rode in it by himself but wanted to have a vehicle that would fit all of them, and also have someone else drive.

Lukas loaded the luggage in the trunk of the boat-sized Mercedes as the rest of them piled into the spacious passenger area. Hans and Severin sitting next to each other, while Aunt Rena and Lukas were in the jump seats facing backwards.

"Speaking of basements, Sev, this is as big as your old basement, only the seats are nicer!"

The four of them retired to the paneled first floor study after a sumptuous meal of Viennese specialties, minus the pork. After an hour of light banter about the trip, being back in Vienna and Luka's time in the city, Rena asked to excuse herself because of jet lag and Lukas offered to see her up to her room. Besides wanting to leave his dad some time to talk alone with Uncle Sev, he wanted to make sure that Aunt Rena was comfortable in the space.

Then he would call Christoph and check up on him. It was his ritual every day that they didn't see each other.

Like his sister, Hans himself was exhausted, and Severin offered to see him up to his room to get some well-deserved sleep after the long flight. It was already 9 pm. But Hans had waited 30 years to see him and couldn't wait another day.

After Rena and Lukas had left and the cook retired for the night, Hans turned to Severin, who was sitting across from him, both in leather lounge chairs that looked like they were from the billiard room of some men's smoking club, only in a slightly modern and simple style.

"Sev, tell me what happened to you after we left."

Severin sighed. "Oh, so much, Hansi. So much. A week is not even close to enough time, and I want to hear about you and your family, too. But I'll try to at least give a start."

Severin had been drafted within a few months of the outbreak of war in Poland in 1939. Even though he had just started college, a professor had recommended him for a desk job in a miliary engineering firm. He was able to avoid battle service and learned a great deal about tank construction and was able to sit out most of the fighting until the final months of the war, when virtually every able-bodied, and some not able-bodied - men even up into their sixties - were conscripted and forced into the army or civilian militias. - "I had it a lot better than most folks. It was a white-collar job when everyone else was getting killed or maimed. It was a good place to, frankly, hide from the war," he said.

"I was able to keep this job up to early 1945 and got caught up in Goebel's actions to `comb out' all of the available manpower from the civilian population. The battlefield losses at that point were staggering and both the Russians and the western Allies were on the march."

"The story is a bit long and involved at this point but suffice to say that I didn't get sent to the Russian Front. But I did get myself into one of those punishment units for malcontents, which could have been even worse."

"How did you get yourself into that!" Hans asked.

Severin put his head on his chin and sighed. "That's a story in itself, but I'll save that for another time. Is that OK?"

"Of course, Sev," Hans responded.

He went on to explain how he had fortunately been captured rather than killed, and how he spent a year in a French POW camp. "Only the Russians had more anger than the French," he said, "there was almost no food, I nearly starved. I sometimes wonder how I survived it."

Hans could see how difficult it was for him to talk about the war, which he expected, so asked him about his parents, who he had yet to mention.

Severin sighed again.

He spoke for a half-hour straight, describing how they were moved around by the railroad. But the last part of what he said is what hit Hans the hardest.

"My dad wouldn't go to Poland or the `eastern territories,' as people called them. He was sidelined by the political types for his lack of enthusiasm, but his boss knew how good he was so gave him special projects, mostly evacuations of civilians from the bombed cities in Germany itself."

"Eventually, even his boss couldn't protect him from an eastern transfer. His last assignment was for Konigsberg, in East Prussia, where the Gauleiter (local leader) wouldn't allow evacuations, except for himself of course, until it was too late. My mom insisted on going with him, in spite of his protests."

His face looked drawn before he spoke.

"I never heard from either of them again."

At breakfast the next morning, Severin, Hans, Rena and Lukas shared in a feast of scrambled eggs, chicken sausage and piles of rolls, fruits and muesli.

"Just like I remember it, only on a slightly bigger scale," Aunt Rena remarked.

"This is why I need to go to keep going to the gym," Lukas added to smiles around the table.

Toward the end of the meal, Lukas said to his dad and aunt, "Hey, I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Christoph, the guy I met on the hike. Could I invite him to come over after work?"

"Well, I feel like I know him already. You talk about him so much. Unless Sev has anything planned, that sounds good. Maybe he could stay for dinner?"

"That's a great idea," Severin said. "I'll ask Frau Marchuk to set an extra place. As far as plans go, you all might still be tired. But I thought that maybe we could drive around town a bit, maybe see old sites, and stop off at my factory. I'd really like to show it to you both."

"Oh yeah, Dad, Aunt Rena, it's fantastic. You won't believe what Uncle Sev has built. It's incredible. There are hundreds of people working there." Lukas proclaimed.

Severin didn't react to Lukas' description, but Hans knew how proud he must be. "I can't wait to see what you built, Sevo!"

"Maybe we could visit the plant last, and then bring Christoph home with us?" Lukas suggested.

"That sounds like a good plan," Severin responded, looking at Lukas and knowing how excited HE was.

Instead of empty plates, with food served family style in the center of the table, Frau Marchuk had individual servings for everyone brought to the table.

Looking around at the huge spread of food, Hans saw that everyone's steak and potatoes were in one piece, except for Christoph's, which was already cut into bit-sized pieces. It made sense to him, with his injured hand in a cast, but it also told him something about his son.

After dinner, Hans and Severin and complimented the cook as they helped to take plates back to the kitchen.

"She is very sensitive to these kinds of things," Severin said, "but she didn't know anything about Christoph's hand. She told me that Lukas had approached her and asked if she could serve that style to save him any embarrassment."

"I'm not surprised," Hans responded.

"Yes, Lukas really looks out for him,' he said, wiping his hands on a cotton towel after putting the plates in the sink.

"Speaking of Christoph and Lukas, could we talk for a few minutes? I'll excuse us and we can go back to the Study."

"Sure," Hans replied, "lets talk there."

After letting the others into his billiard room, Severin and Hans went to his office under the guise of retrieving some old class memorial books.

After Severin closed the door behind him, he motioned Hans into the overstuffed chair that he had so comfortably occupied the night before.

"What did you think of Christoph?" Severin asked as he took the same opposite seat.

"Well, Lukas couldn't say enough good things about him, so I was looking forward to meeting him. I can't say that I've seen them interact a lot but, I think there might be something going on there, at least from Lukas."

"Why do you say that?" Severin asked, his hand scratching his chin.

"Before I even met him, I overheard Lukas asking Frau Marchuk if she'd make that special plate for him and cut up his food. I thought that it was a nice gesture on his part, so that Christoph could avoid any embarrassment. At the time, it just seemed like he was being polite."

"But at the meal, I noticed that he was unusually attentive to him. It was subtle, but I know my son. He made sure that Christoph always felt like part of the conversation and kept it relaxed. But he was very focused on him, his eyes, his voice his gestures. " he said, then added. "It was probably pretty high pressure for Christoph, being at dinner in the house of the big boss of his company."

"I never imagined this kind of awkwardness would ever happen, but I thought he managed it well. But you're kind of getting at what I wanted to talk about."

"And that is?"

"I think you're right - something is happening there. I'm just not sure where it is and neither, maybe, do they," he added. He didn't want to mention the review conversation he had with Christoph, which was an unusual mix of business and personal, but the evidence was already there.

"Like I said, I don't know where it's going. But I wanted you to know that I had no intention of getting Lukas into some kind of relationship here. I would never do that. I just thought it would be good for him go to an event with other gay guys and meet some quality people.

Hans smiled. "This may all be way too premature. Who knows what is really happening or where this will go. After all, Lukas is still planning on law school last I knew."

"But I need to say one more thing. The only bad part is, if you've introduced Lukas to someone who makes him happy, wherever it is and whoever it is, then that's one more thing that I owe you," he said to Severin as he reached over and put his hand on Severin's leg.

Even though Severin had taken the week off, he was still tangled up in all the issues that inevitably stick to the president of a company. So there were times when Lukas, Aunt Rena and Hans were on their own.

When Aunt Rena asked him when he was coming back to the States, he gave his latest standard answer that he wanted to wait until Christoph's cast was removed. His doubts about law school were stronger than ever, but he didn't understand if that had anything to do with Christoph.

On the last night at dinner, after they all retired to the Study for another evening of conversation, Severin was unusually quiet as he sat in his overstuffed chair, and didn't look all that good, at least to Hans.

"Are you OK, Sevo? I know it's the last night, so you can say anything you want and I won't be here long enough to contradict you," he joked.

Severin smiled. Then, suddenly, he grabbed his stomach and doubled over in the chair.

The three of them immediately jumped over to the chair. Lukas deferred to Aunt Rena and Hans, the doctors. Aunt Rena tried to support him while Hans held his hand.

"What's the matter? Are you OK?" She asked.

"Ja, I mean, yes," he responded momentarily slipping into German. But Hans didn't buy the answer.

Continuing to hold his hand, Hans asked, "Is this something from dinner?"

Severin didn't answer right away and paused, which made Hans immediately suspicious.

"Would you excuse us, please, he asked his sister and Lukas.

"No, no, it's OK, Hans. It's, ugh..."

"Yes?" Hans answered. Take your time.

"I didn't want to worry you all about this, but I have a, um... "

"Go ahead."

Severin paused for a moment.

"I have a small tumor near my stomach. It looks like they can remove it, which I'm scheduled to have done next week, after you leave. But the meds can kind of affect my stomach sometimes."

"What are the meds?" Hans asked

After Severin told him, Aunt Rena answered. "If you're on that regimen then you have some serious surgery ahead of you. There is a good chance of success. But there is a long recovery period and you'll be out of commission for weeks at least, if not months."

"Yes, I know. I've prepared the company and given my staff directions on how we need to deal with those. But only a few people know."

"And who is taking care of you here?"

"I've hired a nursing agency to visit and therapists will come regularly, and of course there is Frau Marchuk."

"Do you know any of these people, besides Mrs. Marchuk."

"No, they are just from an agency, but a very reputable one."

"But you don't know any of them, yes?" Lukas interjected.

"No, but they come highly referenced."

Lukas looked at his Aunt, then his dad, who seemed to nod back to him.

"Here's what we're going to do, Uncle Sev. I'm going to stay here and take care of you until you're well."

"Lukas...there is no need. I will...I mean, I should be fine, you know"

"To be honest, sir, you need family to take care of you, not some agency where you're just a customer. And that's us. We're your family."

"But you have your own plans, Lukas."

"I have no plans that take priority over this. Nothing. Zero. The best use of me over the next few months would be to stay here and help out until you can take care of yourself."

"But..." Severin started to protest.

"And another thing. I'm going to move to the bedroom next to yours so that I can hear if anything happens."

"If you stay, and, you don't really need to, as I've said," he weakly protested, "I don't think that would be necessary. I mean, you have a nice room now and that room next to mine doesn't have much of a view."

"I don't care about the view," Lukas answered. "When my mom was ill...my room was next to my parents' so if something happened and dad wasn't around, I could hear what was going on, especially if she fell, which she did a lot as she got sicker..." he trailed off, but the meaning was clear.

Severin was silent for a few moments, then reached onto Lukas' shoulder. "I have a difficult time saying this, but..."

"But what" Lukas asked.

"To be honest, I would really like it if you were around. I would like it a lot."

"Can you spare him for a little longer, Hans?" he asked.

"Of course," he replied, reaching over and squeezing his hand. "In fact, nothing would make me happier."

There were another few weeks until Christoph got his cast off and taking care of Severin would extend far beyond that deadline, likely past the New Year. But pretty soon, he'd have to make up his mind about law school, one way or the other.

Severin gave him permission to tell Christoph, with the proviso that he would tell no one else besides the management team that already knew. It was going to change Lukas' life and there was no way that he could hide it.

With Severin's surgery only a few days away[AF1], Christoph and Lukas had dinner, then went to out to a movie at a theater in Christoph's neighborhood. It would be one of their last evenings out late, as Lukas would soon be home every night by 10 pm to watch over Severin. After talking for an hour at Christoph's apartment, Lukas looked at his watch. "Well, I should be going to make it home on time."

"OK," Christoph replied. "See you again...when?"

"The surgery is the day after tomorrow, so after that, I'll be housebound for about a week, but I'll call you." he said.

"I can bring you anything you need, if that would help," Christoph replied.

"We have Frau Marchuk, and she sees herself as the sherpa," Lukas replied, " But I'm sure we'll have a need sometime."

After Lukas put on his down jacket, Christoph then reached out to give him their usual quick hug before they parted.

But this time it was different. He didn't let go. And Lukas didn't push him away, either.

Instead, they both stood there, holding each other. Christoph felt Lukas's head rest on his shoulder, then did the same. He brought his hands together, gently squeezing his back.

Lukas gently turned his head and whispered into Christoph's ear. "Careful with that hand, OK? The cast has only been off for a couple of days."

"Hmmm..." Christoph responded.

They stood their motionless, neither one saying anything. They just inhaled each other. In the distance, they heard a dog bark, but it was the only sound.

After a few moments, Lukas released his hug, but raised his hands up to Christoph's head. Pulling them closer, he rubbed their cheeks together before pulling back. Christoph could feel his heart racing.

"Lukas, I don't know where...I mean..." Struggling for words, he pulled away.

Lukas looked back at Christoph and asked. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm really happy that you're staying, even though it's not for the best reasons. But I have to tell you, I am asking myself, what is beyond that? You are going to back home next year for school, yes? I mean, You have a career to build."

"Well, that is the plan now, but I can't really say anymore that that is for sure," he replied. "The whole lawyer thing, I don't know."

"No, no, you do you, you'll do great at it, you're very analytical and talented, plus you have, how do you say..um...Iooked it up...'empathy." You have empathy for people,' he said. "You'd make a great judge, he continued, thinking of the European system where people train as judges.

Lukas smiled. "It doesn't work exactly like that in America, but I don't know if it's the best place for me. There are other ways that I think I'd like to spend my life."

"But being a lawyer is a very honored profession. You would do very well at it."

Lukas paused. "Maybe I would, but I'm not sure that I want to do all that the work to find out.."

There was silence for a few moments as they looked at each other. Then Christoph said, "Lukas, could I tell you something? I don't' want to push things or anything like that, but I need to say this."

Lukas shook his head, `yes?"

Letting out a deep breath, Christoph stepped back, not wanting to seem threatening. "Even though we haven't known each other a long time, I have to tell you that I think about you...a lot."

"Really? Lukas responded, almost incredulous. Christoph didn't know if it was good or bad but continued.

"Yes, a lot... and I just wanted you to know that. In fact, this is going to sound crazy, and I don't want to scare you or anything, but...I know right now that I want to tell you that I...I like you... very much...," he said with his accent. He didn't quite know the colloquial words to use, but there was no confusion for Lukas.

He didn't move either toward him or away. `Maybe I've said too much!' Christoph thought to himself. He could feel his heart practically beating through his chest.

Just as he was about to apologize, Lukas leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. "Me, too," he whispered in his ear as he put his hands on Christoph's face, pulling him closer.

They held each other silently until Lukas pushed away gently.

"Um...I need to go now, I mean, I should go, no?," he said, looking down at the ground. "Uncle Sev will worry about me, he said, before raising his head again.

"Ummm..."Christoph stammered. "Maybe we could do something tomorrow ... I mean if you're not busy, I know you have lots to do with the surgery coming up."

"Tomorrow I've got some errands to run for him, just some stuff that I want to have at home for his convalescence. Maybe you could help me shop after work? The stores aren't open late, so there won't be lot of time. But if you could, um..that would be great..."

"Yes, of course!" Christoph replied before he could finish. "Just tell me where to meet and we'll do it together."

"It's a date...I mean a deal," Lukas, said, turning red with embarrassment.

"Either one is good with me," Christoph replied before giving him a final hug for the night.

After saying good night to Uncle Sev, Lukas returned to the adjacent bedroom. After brushing his teeth and getting into bed, he looked up at the ceiling. There was a full moon that night and he could make out some of the detail of the trim around the edges of the room.

He could hardly contain all the thoughts that went through his head. It felt so, so great to hold Christoph! He hadn't realized how much he wanted to do that. He got to hold him that first time they met when he helped him down the hill, but there were less distractions now as he inhaled his masculine scent. He smelled so good!

And to be held in return. `He likes me!' Lukas said to himself. "He likes me, and he said he likes me a lot..." he thought, reveling in the thought of Christoph feeling the same way. It was wonderful.

But then he rolled over in bed.

`What am I going to do?' he asked himself. He could stay really as long as he liked, of course, even beyond Uncle Sev's recovery. But what about long term?

Would he give up law school for this? Could he live here? What would his Dad think if he stayed here? Would his dad feel betrayed? Abandoned? After his mom died, and his sisters were already married and with their own families, it fell on him to take care of his Dad, who, they all agreed, was helpless in day-to-day things without their mom. And Lukas found that he enjoyed taking care of him, even helping his accountant cousin walk his Dad through all of the household financial records that his Mom had always taken care of for the family.

When he leaned over one way, looking out the window, even without the nice garden view of his first room, he thought of Christoph, but when he rolled over in bed and faced the wall he thought of all the family consequences of not going back home. The only way he felt he could sleep would be to lie on his back, which he did until he dozed off for the night.

[AF1]Severin says that his surgery is scheduled the following week after Hans et al leave - not a few weeks later.