Its good when your best friend at school is your next door neighbour, Sophie has been my neighbour since we both started primary school and she is by far my best friend at school. She is always happy to come over and have a chat and help with school assignments we both have and talk about things. Just what a girl needs when things in my life aren't so great, I might have a smile on my face every day. But deep down I am battling what I think am worth and what I love at the moment. I think I am worthless to my other friends, who I love at the moment and I feel that I am never there for them, when they are always there for me when I need a hug. I am also battling the demons of knowing I am gay and I don't want it to ruin me, I love everyone. But want them to love me
I got home from School on Monday and didn't even talk to my family, I usually talk to my brother and my mum. But I didn't feel that well or interested. My feelings are starting to drain me and I don't know why I have become so worried about what my friend will think if I decide to come out of the closet, I know they will wrap their arms around me and give me hugs. All hallows is a great school for students that need a hug and Sophie my best friend gives me the best ones, I feel she knew something was up today at school. She asked on numerous occasions if I was ok and she messaged me through English if I was ok. We are in grade 8 and we really shouldn't have these worries over our heads. I don't think I am attracted to anyone in my group of friends at school, but if I was and it came out we were lovers. I reckon it would ruin my life.
Just before bed time mum came into my room and laid on the bed beside me and she is the best mum a girl would want. She is so caring and only wants what is best for her kids she would smother me if she could. She looked me in the eye and she could see I had been crying and she hugged me straight away "honey are you ok, is school getting you down" I shook my head and said "I just feel that I am inadequate in this world mum. I don't think I am worth the trouble anymore" she hugged me tightly and said "Lucy you are worth everything I know. You are a beautiful smart girl that is the best thing I have in my world. You are not inadequate" she hugged me till I stopped crying, this is why I love her so much. I was still in my school uniform and I hadn't moved from the bed since I got home. She got up and I could see she was upset with me being upset and she said "take the next few days off and we'll see what we can do Lucy" she kissed me and went to bed
I spent the next day in bed feeling sorry for myself, my friends tried to ring me. But I wouldn't answer my phone. Sakura and girl that I love so much messaged me all day and she was worried about my well being. I know who loves me in my groups and he and Sophie are my best friends and the other girls love megs much as they do. But I am closer to sakura and Sophie. Sophie rang me 5 times and I know how much she worries when I don't answer and it isn't that we have school work to do its because we are best friends and I love her for caring so much. Mum came into my room and asked "would you like to see Sophie today. She says you have a joint project dues this week and you haven't started" I knew this wasn't true as we finished it last week. She wants to take to me and see how I am feeling "maybe another day mum, I just want to be alone" I messaged Sophie and said I would talk to her at school on Friday
I finally got out of bed the next day, really to shower and change my clothes, I wasn't feeling the best and my head was all cloudy. I talked to Sophie for most of the night and she is worried about me and I will be fine. I just need to clear my head and get back to being a normal teenager. Sophie made a surprise visit after 9 o'clock as she didn't go to school either, she rung the door bell and she was standing at the door with flowers and chocolate, I love her to bits and I see why she cares about me so much. I opened the door and let her in, she gave me a big hug and we cried for an age, I think we both needed a release "I missed you Lucy, why aren't you telling me whats wrong with you" I put my head on her shoulder and sobbed "I just think I'm a worthless girl and no one loves me" we started sobbing together and I laughed a little and Sophie said "Lucy I love you and so does everyone else and trust me you aren't worthless" it good to be reassured that you are loved by fellow students and I love them
We went and laid on my bed and just chatted about things, she seemed happy to see me and just talk without the others around we have a special bond and I don't want to ruin that. We talked about the terrace dance on Friday and I honest didn't feel like going as I don't have a date and I am not interested in boys and this when I got a bit of a shock, I would never have thought Sophie would tell me this. "Are you going to the terrace dance on Friday Lucy" I thought about it and I didn't really want to go "probably not as I don't have any interest in it" she put her arm over me and said "cmon there will be plenty of hit guys there and I know a few that will want to dance with you" I sighed and said "look I don't really like boys I don't want to date any" she smiled and said "girls our age usually start to like boys now" I don't think she was getting at I was saying so I said "look I am going to tell you something I had been dreading. Sophie I don't like boys because I am gay and I prefer girls" she smiled and it didn't freak her out "honey I prefer girls too and I would rather dance with a girl" she kissed me on the lips and it wasn't weird at all, I kissed a little back and it was nice. "Wow that was good I never had a kiss like that before" she said. I felt comfortable knowing she wouldn't end our friendship "does this mean our friendship is different now" I asked she smiled and kissed me again and it was a bit more passionate and I never thought Sophie would kiss me like this "maybe we can be in a relationship now, just don't go telling everyone" I wouldn't
We laid on the bed most of the day and talked about what would happen when we tell the rest of our group about our secret, we both agreed the group would be supportive and smother us with love. She sat up and went to my arse and pulled my pj bottoms down enonugh to show my bike pants "you wear the schools bike pants all the time do you" I nodded my head and said "the feel comfortable" she pulled the bike pants down enough and I asked "what are you doing Sophie" she slapped my arse and said "I want to see if your arse is as soft as your lips" she she bent down and kissed me arse and it felt good, lucky I was wearing a white thong at the time "so soft baby" she came back and kissed me and i felt good again.
I went to school the next day and I felt happy about being there, sakura was the first to hug me as we are in the same house and she is a beautiful girl. The whole group we worried about my well being and they wanted to make sure I was loved and cared for. Sophie and I didn't talk much that day, but when we caught each others eye it was like we knew what we were both feeling, I was glad she spent yesterday with me and we had so much fun just talking about things and where our group was heading. We have a good group of friends that care for us clearly and I love them all and I never want to change that. Just before lunch I ran into Sophie and we had a chat about what we did yesterday, she didn't want to forget about it. It was as if she wanted to see what the next step would be and I sort of do as well. But we both really have never experienced it or looked at it
While getting ready for the dance on Friday night mum and dad dropped a bit of bombshell, they told me they were getting a divorce. It rocked me a bit and I didn't really know how to feel as I thought they would be married until the day they died like mums parents. Mum told me dad had been sleeping with one of the law clerks. Dad moved out that night and mum went to dinner with friends down the coast, I decided not to go to the dance and spent the night at home. Sophie messaged me before she was about to go and I told her I was staying home because I wasn't up to having fun. She came over straight away. My brother spent the weekend with his friends and we had the house to ourselves. She came into my room after mum let her in, I was sobbing again and she hugged me. Mum said her good byes and left us
I turned over and she was smiling and I was so happy to see her face again. She kissed me and this time we knew how to make it good, we both had our tongues going and it was lovely. "This is why I like girls Luce, we kiss better and it isn't terrible after" she was right. She sat up and rolled me over and mover to my crotch I looked at her as she rubbed my crotch through my jeans "will it hurt soph" I asked and she smiled and said "not if I do it right" she undid my jeans and pulled them down, I was wearing a black thong under them. She started rubbing my pussy through my panties and I was so wet and she knew it
She pulled the thong down and she started fingering my pussy, god it felt so different to the way I did it. I was tight but wet, Sophie lowered her head and started to kiss my thighs and my pubis mound. She was so gentle with the way she went about it, then she opened up my pussylips and started licking the inside of my pussy. She really went hammer and tongues at the inside of my pussy, her fingers never left the inside and kept going in and out so fast. She was making me so wet I didn't know whether I was cuming or not. She found my clit and she sucked on it like a lollipop and fuck she sent me well over the edge. I was bucking wildly and when the moment I was waiting for came, god it was the best feeling. Sophie finished me off in style and she licked me dry.
She sat up and started to cry, I sat up and hugged her and we kissed for a little bit and we knew our friendship had changed forever right there and then "love you Lucy" and than I knew it meant it changed for the good
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