Author's Note: Hello again! Sorry it's been so long! You wouldn't believe how busy one can get. Well, it's extremely short but a lot happens so I figured it would hold you until next time. Just remember, don't kill me yet!! All comments are gladly accepted.
Love's Last Kiss
Chapter 7
My sister came through the door first. She had a bag under each arm and a blank look on her face. I wonder if she knew. She looked at me funny for a moment.
" What did you do? Mom has been acting so weird ever since she came back from getting the checkbook. She won't tell me why." Heather asked. I heard mom getting out of the car. I decided not to tell Heather for now. In all honesty, I didn't know what to say in a matter of 2 minutes that would deem appropriate. She got tired of waiting on me to answer and left the room with a pouty look. Mom came through the door and sat down. She looked as if she had aged ten years in two hours. We sat there quietly for a few minutes, neither of us particularly wanting to bring up the past event but both knowing we had to.
" Brad, I-" My mom began.
" Mom, I'm sorry really I am." I felt tears well up in my eyes. " I can't help it I'm gay. I don't want to be but I am. I love Lucas and he loves me. He makes me happy. Please don't stop loving me mom. Please don't." The floodgates opened and tears spilled down my cheeks. I felt my world crashing down around me. My happy little world now ceased to exist and I was faced with reality. I knew one thing right away. I didn't like reality. I pressed my face into my hands. I felt my mother's arms circle me in a tight embrace. She sniffled and I sensed she was crying too. We cried until we could cry no more. I began to feel whole again.
" I still love you Brad. How could you not know that? I just think it would be to your best benefit if you stopped seeing Lucas. I don't want you to hang around him anymore. He must be a bad influence on you." My mom said. I couldn't believe my ears. Stop seeing Lucas? I couldn't. I loved Lucas. He was everything to me. No, I couldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. I jumped out of her grasp.
" No!! I won't do it! I will not stay away from him! You don't
understand! It's not his fault I'm gay! It's mine! You think if I stay away from him I'm suddenly gonna like girls again! You're ashamed of me aren't you!? Admit it!!" I screamed. My mom recoiled as if she'd been bitten and she turned pale.
" You watch your mouth young man!" She whispered. I ran from the room until I got upstairs. I ran smack into Heather who had apparently been eavesdropping. It didn't matter to me now anyway. She looked concerned and tried to reach for me but I dodged her hand and locked myself into my room. I heard her still at the door and she called my name but I didn't respond. A fit of rage overcame me and I started sweeping things off of my shelves. It seemed to be satisfying to hear them crash to the floor. Finally, too exhausted to continue, I sat down in the middle of it all and cried once more.
I don't know how long I sat there but my mom and my sister left after my sister tried to get me to come to the door. I don't know where they went but I heard them get in the car. It was dark by the time I finally began to move again. The phone rang into the silence; a shrill penetrating ring. Numbly, I reached for it.
" Hello?" I said.
" Brad?" Lucas' voice rang out like music to my ears.
" Lucas." I whispered.
" Are you okay? What happened?" Lucas asked. So I explained everything to him in detail. He listened intently, interrupting every so often to tell me it was okay; that we would find a way to get through this - together.
" I'm coming over." He said.
" No. I don't know when my mom is coming back and you can't be over here." I sniffed.
" Dammit Brad! I love you! I don't give a fuck what your mom thinks. You're feeling really down and I want to be with you."
" I'll be okay. I'll just see you tomorrow. I love you." I hung up the phone. It was harder than I had thought to tell Lucas not to come over. I felt like an outcast in this world. I felt everything around me blur and I screamed out in rage.
" Fuck this world!! I don't need it!" I yelled. I stormed into the bathroom. Wrenching open the medicine cabinet I grabbed two bottles and spilled some of the capsules into my palm. I glanced in the mirror with downcast eyes and raised a trembling hand to my mouth where I dropped the pills and swallowed. I walked back to my room and lay in the floor once again. It wasn't like all the books made it out to be. I laid there for fifteen minutes and my stomach started clenching and I felt like gagging. Then all I could see was red and then...nothing. The last thing I saw was the face of Lucas in my mind and how I loved him more than anything and would miss him.
" We've got an emergency! I need all units on staff! He's going into shock, we may lose him. He doesn't look good..." I heard momentarily. I wandered away from the voices and the darkness consumed me once more.Even without hearing it, I knew I had died. What had I done?
******************************************* Okay there it is. Chapter 7. Don't kill me! hehe. Nah, it will get better and maybe I'll actually write a long chapter next time without a cliffhanger! lol! Bye everyone! Enjoy! :)