"NO, you stupid mutherfucker you're lying...he can't be dead....he's not dead...NO!" I yelled, as I charged at him, throwing weak punches at his chest, I kept beating on his chest until I got really tired. He wrapped his arms around me and rock back and forth. I felt myself like drowning in this like pool of darkness and then everything went black...I passed out.
I woke up and noticed my brother on my bed...awkward moment. I smacked his chest and got up from the bed to go pee.
"Hey Bryson, how you feeling bro?" he yawned getting up from the bed.
"What do you mean...I mean I'm fine but why are you asking me? I walked out from the bathroom and sat down on the bed.
"I mean, well yesterday you...uh...I mean Stiles...the whole news and you know him being-"
"K quit stuttering and spit it out, Tyson!" I said impatiently.
"Sssstiles, you do know what happened to him right....I mean you know he's gone". He said nervously.
"What do you mean gone, I man where did he go?"
"Oh god, B, Stiles, he's dead...I'm so sorry...he uh drove his car over the bridge and drowned, they haven't found his body yet but the cops said he's dead...I mean you can't last a minute in that water it's freezing cold".
"That's impossible, Stiles' isn't dead, dude I just talked to him like yesterday and he's probably in his room right now, lying in his bed asleep", I said as I walked out of my room and towards Stiles' room. But when I got there, he wasn't there.
"Stiles!" I called out his name...but no answer. Then it hit me...everything that happened came rushing back, Me and Stiles in bed, me telling him I loved him, him kissing Tyson, Braeden kissing me and telling him he loved me...and then Tyson...Tyson telling me...telling me that Stiles was... NO! That's not true, no fucking way. He can't be dead...that son of a bitch can't be dead. He can't leave me.
"No...NO...NO...NO...NO, STILES WHERE ARE YOU....PLEASE COME BACK...come back", I screamed, I ran around the house looking for him...he had to here somewhere. Suddenly I felt arms wrap around my waist and pulled me close against their chest.
"Stiles" I whispered sighing in relief, and I took in a deep breath, expecting to smell cherries and mint. But no the person smelt nothing like my Stiles. I pushed away from the person and felt the tears beginning to pool at the corners of my eyes.
"Bryson, oh god, I heard and I...uh I just came to see you, I'm so sorry", Braeden said as he walked towards me again, I pushed him away.
"Stay away from me, I don't want you near me...I want Stiles...where the hell is him...I...I need him!"
"I know you do...but I'm here and you can rely on me babe", he whispered, as he knelt down and crawled towards me, tears pooled in his eyes, his lips quivered.
"Ya, Brooks, you'll be-"
"Don't call me that...don't fucking call me that", I yelled covering my ears and cringing in pain.
"I...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to", he whispered.
"Ok Bryson, I need to you come with me, we need to get you cleaned up", he said as he picked me up...I wrapped my legs around him and arms.
"Ok, I need to get mom, Bry...she's at the police station with Parker...uhm I'll be back soon, k bud call me if anything goes wrong", Tyson kissed my cheeks and left.
I started crying again...Jesus fuck it hurts so much, I mean for one minute I forget what happened but then BAM! The realization hit me and I feel so hurt, my body feels light and hollow and then the pain knocks the breath out of my lungs.
"Hey, shhh I got you babe, I'm right here and I swear to you I'm never letting you go." he cooed. He carried me into my room towards the bathroom tried to put me down, but clinged onto him tighter, I didn't want to let go, letting go felt like...I don't know, like I was exposed to the outside world...like what happened to "HIM" was actually true and I had to face it.
"It's going to take a while before I can get these close of you Bry, it sure would be easier if you let go", he said softly. Pulling me away from him, he quickly took of clothes and smiles at me...the pain drove right through me, I tried to catch my breath but it came out like a weak sob. The pain was not any kind of pain...it was the kind of pain that came in a full package I guess. You know physical, emotional and mental. I started to hyperventilate, my eyes got blurry from the overflowing tears, and I felt exposed, I realized...he was gone; my Stiles was gone....never coming back. No more Stiles!
"Oh, Bryson...you have no idea, how much it hurts to see you like this...and it's all his fault, fuck he's got you hooked babe", he reached for me, but I pulled back.
"DONT!" I pressed my back against the cool tiles of the wall and sighed. "It's not his fault...it's mine, I killed him...I...I should have just...Oh god, oh no...We killed him Braeden".
"What...what are you talking about Bryson; you're starting to scare me".
"Our love...it's our love that killed him, but the thing is I loved him, I told him but he never believed me. We had such a strong bond... and I mean we do too...but we killed him". I ranted.
"Ok, I have NO idea what you're talking about...but it's alright...let's get you cleaned first", he said pulling me up from the floor. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck...we were naked but not hard at all...I don't think anyone would be if they were in my shoes. He pulled back the shower curtains and filled the tub with hot water, he was about to fill it with cold water to warm it up, but I stopped him.
"Don't I want it this way", I whispered against the croon of his neck.
"Oh...uh... are you sure you want it this way, it's scalding hot", he said a little comprehensive at the idea.
"Ya, I know that's why...I said, letting go of him to climb into the tub before he changed his mind.
The hot water scalded my skin...it hurt but it felt good...it distracted me from "HIM", the pain went away but was replaced by a pain...that I could handle, one I could control.
I looked down at my now red skin and scratched it...I felt a sharp sting and gasped...the pain was incredible.
"Oh god, Bryson what have you done to yourself" Braeden exclaimed. "You're fucking bleeding, oh shit get out for the water it's too hot".
"No, I want it this way", I groaned in pain. I pulled away when he reached out to pull me out.
"Now Bryson, you're in pain". I pulled away like a stubborn child again. "That's it!" he grabbed me and yanked me out of the tub, his gripped on my arm was very hard and painful, I cried out in pain.
"OH GOD, I'M SO SORRY"! He said.
"Mmm, it's ok...it felt good", I smiled weakly.
"That's not right...pain isn't supposed to feel good Bryson", he scolded, wrapped me in a towel gently and picked me up, he placed me down on the bed and pulled the covers over me. He dried himself up and got into the bed with me.
"You have to get better, please", he whispered d kissing my forehead.
"I'm not sick..." I whispered faintly. I wasn't sick but I was drained, I felt dead...hollow.
"Ya, you are look at your face....it's hasn't even been a full day yet and you've got bag under your eyes and you're so pale Bry", he caressed my cheeks softly.
"I'll be fine by tomorrow, ok I just need to sleep".
"No, I'm going to get you something to eat" I quickly grabbed onto his arm and cried out softly "No, please, don't leave me...stay with me".
"Ok, shhh, it's ok...I'm hear babe", he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me softly "I love you Bryson", he whispered.
"No, you don't", I said before dozing off.
2 weeks later, I was still miserable, depressed and downright sad...I started to cut my self...everywhere that wasn't really visible to the public eye, I cut my chest, thighs and also right my calf but I stop because my mom started to noticed dried blood on the back of my calf. I was addicted to that kind of pain...especially when I used the butt of a cigarette to burn my skin, the sizzling sound and the smell of burning flesh made me sick to my stomach and it helped me to puke...oh did I forget to mention...I'm now bulimic. Pathetic right? I know I'm the poster boy for every insecure teenager in America...or the world.
When I go to school people stare at me and they whisper behind my back, but I don't give two rat's hits. Braeden tried....waiting no tries to make me smile but it doesn't work. It only pisses me off. I don't hate him, I just want him to live his live, or he'll lose it... just like "HIM". I can't say his name it hurts too much, just thinking of him hurts. I stopped going to class and started smoking. And then there are the night mares...they scare the shit out of me. I'm walking down this like dark hallway and I heard "HIM" calling my name...it sounds sort of like an echoing groan. And he's telling me to help him and come save him that he needs me. And then when I come to the end of this hall way I see him, he's on the floor, his eyes are close, and his mouth is wide open. The color of his skin is like sickening green, slimy and swollen. I kneel down and reach out to touch him and he opens his eyes, they are white, the pupils are also white, he grabs my hand and they are so cold. He leans forward and says "Help me Brooks, I need you...please help me". And then he starts crying the tears in his eyes are thick, black and sticky. His breath is still like mint and cherries. His grip on my arm tightens the sickening crack in the air; tell me that my arm is broken. Then I wake up in sweat screaming. Mom came in, she had bags under her eyes and she looks tired.
"Oh, baby its ok...shhh I'm here", she walks over to my bed and slides in. Her arms are wrapped around my body.
"Mom, it hurts so much", I cried, my body shaking violently. I'm shivering but I'm not cold at all.
"I know sweetie, I know", she cooed. Kissing my forehead.
"He's still alive and he need my help but I can't do anything...I know he's not death, I feel it...in my bones, I swear mom, I'm not lying"
"Hey, I know I feel it too, I do", I know she didn't she was just saying it...because she's worried about what I would do if she said no. She's lying but whatever. I trust my instincts.
The next morning, I dragged myself out of bed and walked to the bathroom to pee, after peeing, I was walking back to my room when I noticed "HIS" room. I took a deep breath and walked in, the smell of mint and cherries over flowed my sinuses. I looked at his bedside table, there was picture of us in the tub together naked when we were like 2. I smiled at the picture...suddenly these flashes of what happened to him went through my mind; I collapsed on his bed and cried out in pain. Looking around frantically I saw a scissor on his table and grabbed. Pressing it hard against my skin I slid it across my thighs and the blood pooled over my skin and dripped on the floor. I sighed and leaned back on his bed, pulling the cover over my head I took a deep breath. I slept for a while, when I woke up, it was 7:30 am, I stood up and was about to leave when I noticed his leather jacket at the foot of his bed. I grabbed it and quickly walked out.
When I got to school, I sat down in Bio...I felt queasy suddenly, the need to cut was very hard to ignore, I grabbed a pen from my table and dugged it into my skin, the blood pooled in my palm, I wiped it on my pants and snuggled against "HIS" jacket the smell calmed me down.
"Mr Broo-"
"Don't fucking call me that", I growled pressing the pen harder into my bleeding wound.
"Excuse me....I don't accept that kind of language in my classroom...now I know you've had a tough time since Stiles' death" I flinched at the sound of his name. "But that give you no excuse to swear in my class room, Mr Brooks!"
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT YOU STUPID ASS FUCK!" I yelled at him. As I stormed out of class, running out of the school, I ran straight home in to my room.
The pain came back again, more intense this time and I groaned out in pain, reaching into my backpack, I grabbed a cigarette and lit it. Taking a drag, I grabbed the butt and pressed it hard against my skin, the sizzling sound filled the room then came the smell; I heaved in disgust as I ran to the bathroom and threw up. Gasping desperately for air, I passed out on the bathroom floor.
I woke up by the sound of the front door closing, getting up I was walking out of the bathroom, when I noticed my reflection, my hair was still thick but it had lost its lustre, it covered my eyes...my now dull blue eyes. My skin was pale and dry, my face was sullen and my cheekbones were a little too prominent. Tears rolled down my cheeks, I wiped it quickly and sighed putting on a smile, it didn't reach my eyes though, but it was better than nothing. I quickly changed and went downstairs to see who was home.
"Hey Bry, how are you feeling", he asked softly giving me a hug.
"I'm ok'', I lied.
''ok, well how about a movie and some popcorn'', he winked at me.
''Uh...well...uhm, I'm not really in the mood ...I kinda just want to stay here...at home'', I sat down.
''Oh, uh ok, well I'll go grab the pop-corn''.
He came back and put on a movie (Breaking Dawn)...I really did not wan to see that stupid movie but it's better than talking about how I feel. He sat down beside me and leaned in against him.
''mmmm'', he sighed rubbing my arms up and down. His hands accidentally touched my thigh and gasped in shock, his hands red and wet.
''What the hell, is that blood on your thighs....holy fuck what have you done to yourself!'' he yelled at me. Standing up in disgust and anger.
''It`s none of your fucking business...just leave me alone'', I yelled at him. Shit I should not have worn shorts! He grabbed me and pulled my shorts down and took of my shirt. The look on his face was of total and absolute shock, his face was filled with pain. He actually cried out in pain.
''I...I...how can you do this, why would you do this to yourself, oh god....Jesus fuck you're covered in scars and...Is...Are those cigarette burns''
''I...I'm, I have to...it he-'', I was interrupted by the phone ringing.
I grabbed the phone and said hello
''uh....Is Miss Montgomery there'', a voice said on the phone.
''No, but may I ask who is calling''
'' This is Dr. Brock Bridlewood, uh a Stiles Montgomery was admitted to this hospital 2 days ago....we would have contacted you earlier but we had no information. He was found under a bridge, half dressed and suffering from severe Hypothermia, 6 fractured ribs and a punctured lung.
''Oh god, where is he'', I cried out, my knees gave out and I sat on the floor. Braeden kept asking what was wrong.
''He is at Rocky View Hospital...I suggest you come here now, he keeps asking for a Tyson brooks...I'm guessing you're him''
''Uh...no but I'm his boyfr....I mean best friend.'' I finished talking to him and hunged up the phone.
''Oh god...''
''What's wrong'', he asked kneeling down in front of me.
''S...Sstiles is alive...my baby is alive'', I quickly pulled my clothes on and grabbed Braeden's arms pulling him out of the house.
''What, what the fuck are you talking about...are you insane...who was that on the phone'', he kept asking questions.
''JUST SHUT UP AND DRIVE...I'll tell you what happened while we're driving'', I yelled climbing into his truck.
When we got there, I ran into the hospital and asked the receptionist where his room was, when I got there, I saw him there. Lying on the bed, he was asleep. He was actually here alive in front of me....I walked towards him touched him just to be sure this wasn't a dream.
''His actually alive...wow'', I heard Braeden walk into the room .
''Ya, He is ''I whispered. His eyes opened as they stared up at me...in confusion.
''Hey there, how are you feeling'' I asked rubbing my hands across his soft cheeks.
''Uhm...ok, who are you'', he asked sitting up.
''Ha ha, very funny'' I said nervously.
''Oh hi, and you are...'' a hot looking guy in his mid 20's walked in.
''Bryson Brooks, Stile's best friend'', I said shaking his hands.
''I don't know you....Where is Tyson, I need to see him'', I heard Stiles groan out.
''What the hell is he talking about, doctor...he's starting to scare me'', I cried out to him.
''Uh...I need you guys to walk out for the room for a while I do some test on him...please''.
We walked out of the room and sat down on the chair....my heart was beating fast, what the hell is wrong with him...how can he be asking for Tyson, that weird...I'm so fucking confused. I dugged my fingers into my palm and started to hyperventilate. Braeden put his hands around my back and massage my back, telling me to just calm down, that I should be alive he is ok. I guess I should be happy he's alive.
The Doctor walked out of the room...but the way his body posture looked I knew it was bad news.
''Oh god, what's wrong''
''I'm so sorry Mr Brooks, He is suffering from Post-traumatic amnesia, we are not sure if it is short term or long term memory....but he uh, only remembers Tyson Brooks, Parker Montgomery...I'm guessing is his mother and Brianna Brooks and a bunch of other people...''
''W...what about me...''I asked my voice shaky, tears filled my eyes
''I'm so sorry but Stiles doesn't seem to have any memory of ever knowing you''.
K, so I felt bad for always uploading my stories too late....and because I fucking love you guys and you're so amazing. I decided, I'm going to spend my weekend working on this chapter for you....hope you enjoy...I know I did J