This story is a work of fiction. It depicts a romance between two consenting adult males and may contain some descriptions of sexual acts, again between two consenting adult males. If you are not of legal age to read this kind of story, please leave now. If you reside in an area where reading stories that include sexual situations between two consenting adult males is illegal, please leave now. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to any person(s) living or dead is simply a coincidence. The author retains all rights to this story. It cannot be reproduced in any form without expressed written permission from the author (me). Please contact the author for any requests. Copyright 2006.
Feedback (and criticism) is ALWAYS appreciated and welcome. Please respond to this story at: jaden.scott@adelphia.net
I look forward to hearing from all of you and I will respond if you write to me. Thanks to all of you who have written so far with your encouraging words. I have appreciated every one of them. Jaden
Please watch for changes in POINT-OF-VIEW
The story is back!! Sorry it has taken so long to get this latest chapter completed. Sometimes life gives you a bunch of crap to deal with. In my case, I wasn't able to write while I dealt with some of that crap. Things are better now, and I'm back to writing. I love this story, and as much as I enjoy writing about Jaden and Lane, I'm also ready to bring this story to its inevitable conclusion. Don't worry, there's still (a little bit) more of this story to tell before it's over. Thanks for sticking with me during my time away. I promise it won't be that long before the next chapter. Jaden
LOVER'S LANE
by Jaden
From the end of Chapter Eighteen:
LANE'S POINT OF VIEW
With that, Jaden and George left and started their journey home. I watched them until they were out of sight. I flopped onto the couch and stared at the ceiling. Jaden was going to spend Christmas with me!! I was really excited about that. This knowledge really helped to re-ignite my resolve to stick with him. I think it's finally happening. Jaden is starting to heal. There's a chance for us to get together. I wasn't sure, but I had a feeling this would be a Christmas to remember.
CHAPTER NINETEEN: IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE......
JADEN'S POINT OF VIEW
"Dammit, Lane!!" I muttered as I drove, very slowly, down the unfamiliar street. George and I were on our way to Lane's house for the Christmas Eve party, but I had no idea which house on this street I was supposed to go to. I looked from left to right, scrutinizing each house as I drove past. Lane had given me very detailed directions to the street he lived on, but he refused to give me his exact address. Instead, he would only give me the following clue: 'I'm dreaming of a White Christmas'. I wasn't sure what was more annoying, the fact that Lane gave me a clue instead of his actual address, or the fact that every time he mentioned the clue, he would SING it. Lane's a great guy, very funny and incredibly beautiful, but he didn't have a good singing voice. On a good day, it was horrible. Unfortunately, because he was so proud of himself for thinking up the clue, he felt the need to 'tell' it to me every chance he got. Up until the time I left for Lane's house, I'm guessing I had to endure about thirty renditions of the clue. As nervous as I was about the party, a large part of me was very thankful it was finally here so I wouldn't have to hear him sing anymore.
As much as I pleaded with Lane, he wouldn't tell me the address, intent on playing his little game. Earlier in the day, I looked in the telephone book and I called information, but I couldn't find anything. Apparently, Lane's family had an unlisted telephone number, which meant an unlisted address. None of the houses I passed seemed to fit Lane's cryptic clue. After I had been on his street for about half a mile, the road made a rather sharp turn to the left. As I made the turn, a bright light about ten houses down caught my eye. I actually had to squint a little from the brightness of it. It was a house, and it was radiating. There must have been 100,000 white lights all over the house and circling the trees in the front yard. The sight was...magnificent. I had to wonder, though, what kind of electricity bill would be generated from such a display.
Despite having Lane's clue, which made total sense to me now, I instinctively knew this was his house. It really didn't surprise me that Lane's family had turned their house into a gigantic spectacle, considering all of the stories Lane had told me about his family and how crazy they behaved sometimes. Besides all of the lights, the house and yard were decorated with various Christmas themed items, such as plastic snowmen, candy canes, a nativity scene, and Santa Claus in his sleigh being pulled by eight reindeer.
The house itself was awesome too. It was a huge colonial, built entirely in red brick. The second floor had six windows across it and the bottom floor had five windows plus the front door. Two white shutters framed each window. A large three-car garage was attached to the left side of the house. A net-less basketball hoop was mounted in the ground on the side of the driveway, something I expected to see after I tried imagining what Lane's house looked like.
Since the driveway was full of cars, I decided to park in the street across from Lane's house. I put my car in park and sat for a minute, studying all of the lights and admiring how beautifully the house was decorated. As the anxiousness I had been feeling while searching for Lane's house wore off, I began to feel nervous, almost intensely nervous, about the upcoming night. 'What...what was I doing here??' I thought to myself. I was about to go and spend Christmas Eve with Lane's family. Besides Lane and his parents, I hadn't met the rest of the people who were going to be at the party tonight. I didn't do too well when surrounded by a bunch of new people. What was I getting myself into?? How did I get here??
After my parent's announcement that they were going to go on a cruise over Christmas, I hadn't been sure what to do. I didn't know if I should take my mom's suggestion and ask Lane if I could spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with his family. But the more I thought about everything that had happened with me and Lane, the more I realized I wanted to spend as much time as possible with him over the holidays. I had been so nervous when I asked him if he would mind if I spent Christmas at his house. I wasn't sure how he would react to that question, mostly because I knew some awkwardness had developed between us and I knew that it was mostly my doing. At the time I asked, I hadn't been sure he would actually WANT me to come over for Christmas. I didn't know how to repair the fracture in our friendship and I wasn't sure if Lane would even want too. My doubts about Lane's feelings didn't give me any confidence that he would want me to spend Christmas with him.
I had nothing to worry about, thankfully. Lane seemed to be very excited about the idea of spending the holidays with me. His reaction gave me a boost of confidence and a surge of hope. Maybe it's not too late for us, I thought. I think...I think he still likes me!! After the holiday issue had been settled, the rest of the week seemed to fly by. I attacked my studying with renewed vigor and, for once, I felt satisfied with my performance on finals. Grades for the first semester wouldn't be coming in the mail until sometime after the first of the year, so I had to wait to see how I did in my classes. Up until this point in school, I had earned mostly 'A's' in my classes with an occasional 'B' or 'B+'. I was carrying a 3.75 grade point average, which would have thrilled most students, but I hoped to increase my average before I graduated. Lane had mentioned once that he had a 3.80 grade point average. I was bound and determined to at least match him, if not beat him, by the time we both graduated. Once I actually analyzed those thoughts, I realized that I was expecting to have Lane in my life until we both graduated, at the very least. He was invading my thoughts and making me think of "us" on a long-term basis. This idea both thrilled and terrified me. Of course, that was my normal line of contradictory thinking when it came to Lane. Excitement always mixed with a sense of terror. I really hoped I could learn to be less afraid of Lane as time went on.
George started to bark, knocking me out of my thoughts. I stopped staring at the lights, took a deep breath, and turned to look at him.
"Time to face the music, buddy." I said.
Lane said his parents didn't mind if I brought George with me tonight, and I was very grateful for that. Since they didn't have any animals, I had been worried I wouldn't be able to bring him. Lane's parents thought his nephews would really like to play with George so they agreed to let him come. Whatever their reasoning, I didn't care. I really needed him here with me tonight, at least to help me get in the house.
"George, you're going to get a lot of attention tonight. Don't get spoiled, got it??" I told him. George stared back at me for a second, then moved quickly and licked my face.
"GEORGE!!" I yelled, wiping the spit off my face. I had to smile. I know I've said it a million times, but once again I had to thank God for bringing George into my life. After I had attached George's leash, we both got out of the car. I opened the back door and got out the bag of presents I had brought with me.
The 'present' situation had caused me some worry over the last few days. I'm not sure what gave me more sleepless moments: knowing WHO to buy for, or knowing WHAT to buy for them. I decided to rely on my mom's judgment on choosing whom to buy for. Of course, Lane was a given. As for the rest of his family, we finally decided on Lane's parents Kathy and Mike, since it was their house I was invited to and because I had already met them, and Lane's two nephews, Preston and Hunter. I hadn't met the little ones yet, but mom understood that young kids loved gifts, so we decided that I had to buy for them. I hadn't met anyone else from Lane's family, so mom and I figured it would be okay if I didn't buy for any of them.
Of course, deciding on who to buy presents for was only half the battle. Deciding WHAT presents to actually buy was equally as hard, if not harder. Once again, I relied on my mom's expertise in helping me choose what gifts to buy. The kids were the easiest to buy for. Mom and I figured any type of car or truck, or any kind of device that made loud sounds and had bright lights would be good enough for them. For Kathy and Mike, we finally choose to get them a very expensive bottle of wine and a set of wine glasses. I knew that wasn't very original, but mom said that based on her conversations with Kathy, she knew how much they really enjoyed wine. That left Lane, who was the hardest one to buy for. I didn't want to get him anything too fancy or too expensive. We weren't officially a 'couple' yet, so that type of present seemed inappropriate. At the same time, I wanted my present to be special and mean something to him. I ended up buying him a very nice and reasonably priced athletic watch. He was always complaining about not having a watch to wear while working out or running and he wanted to have a stopwatch so he could keep track of his times. The athletic watch, complete with built in stopwatch, killed those two birds with one stone. In addition, I picked up a couple of CDs that he had mentioned wanting to get. By the time I was finished shopping, I felt very good about all of my purchases.
By the amount of cars parked in the driveway, there were clearly more people at Lane's house than I expected to be at the party. I guessed that I would be walking into a fairly large family gathering, which was something I was not accustomed to. My parents were only children, and since my grandparents had passed away, we normally spent Christmas alone. We didn't have any other family members that lived around us, so it was usually just the three of us and George at all the major holidays. If we did spend any time with other people, it was always with various friends of my mom and dad.
I got the presents, closed the door, and locked up my car. As George and I walked towards the front door, I temporarily forgot about my nervousness as I admired the fact that the driveway and sidewalks were both lined with white lights too. It truly was an incredible display that Lane's family had put on. When we reached the door, I rang the doorbell and anxiously waited for someone to answer. My fears continued to grow as I stood there. Questions started swirling around in my head. Did any of Lane's family members know he was gay?? What would they think about me?? Would they think I was just one of Lane's friends, or would they know that I was his potential boyfriend?? How was I supposed to interact with Lane tonight??
The questions went rushing out of my mind as the door swung open.
LANE'S POINT OF VIEW
I heard the doorbell go off. I say 'go off' because instead of a normal bell ringing 'ding-dong', my father had installed a device that played various Christmas songs every time the button was pushed on the doorbell. In this case, I heard the familiar melody of 'Jingle Bells' playing. Instantly, I was excited, anxious, and nervous. Everyone was here, except for the one person I was looking forward to seeing the most. I knew it had to be him at the door.
"I'll get the door." I said to no one in particular as I got up from the chair I had been sitting in. As I turned to leave the room, I caught Connor staring at me, a smirk on his face. BASTARD!! I exited the family room where everyone was gathered and walked down the long hallway towards my destination. As I approached the door, I stopped and took a second to check out my appearance in the mirror that was hanging on the wall in the hallway. I fussed with my hair for a second and straightened out my shirt. Deciding that I looked presentable, I finished my journey to the door. I placed my hand on the doorknob and paused for a second to collect myself before opening it. The door swung open to reveal a person I knew I would never get tired of seeing...Jaden. As usual, the sight of him took my breath away, even more so, I guessed, because I hadn't seen him in a few days. Before I had a chance to greet him, George lunged at me and demanded the attention he apparently felt he was due.
"Hey George!! Merry Christmas!!" I exclaimed as I bent over to pet the playful animal. In the split second after I opened the door and before George attacked me, I noticed a look of relief wash over Jaden's face. My guess was he was relieved to see it was me who greeted him at the door. I didn't spend too much time welcoming George because I knew that Jaden was waiting patiently for me to invite him in. Such perfect manners, I thought, just another in a long line of reasons why I liked him so much. I glanced up and just as I opened my mouth to speak, a huge snowflake landed right on the tip of his nose. Without thinking, I stood up and reached out to wipe the flake off his face. I barely grazed his skin, yet it still felt so good to be...touching him, even if it was just his nose. Hey, I was pretty desperate at this point. I was going to take pleasure in any amount of contact I could get with him tonight!!
Jaden's eyes widened for a second until he realized what I was doing. A slight smile appeared on his face.
"T...thanks Lane." he said.
"Come in and get out of the cold." I said while moving out of the doorway so he could enter the house. I closed the door quickly. "Merry Christmas, Jaden." I said after establishing eye contact with him.
"Merry Christmas." he replied.
"I see that you found the place." I said, a smile spreading over my face.
"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. VERY clever." Jaden said sarcastically. "So, how many stores around the area did you have to go to in order to buy that many lights?? Are...are you sure you have enough?? If you need more, I sure we could travel to Connecticut and rustle you up a few."
"OUCH!! That's harsh, Jaden. I can't help it if my dad LOVES Christmas!!" I tried to explain. "Seriously, it's, like, his favorite holiday. His passion never seems to wane. In fact, it keeps growing and growing and growing. These are the most lights he's ever put on the house."
"I see how it is. You're placing the blame all on your father." He continued teasing me. "You don't fool me, Lane!! I know it's all you!!"
Wow, playful Jaden was coming out in full force tonight. I was relieved to see him acting this way.
"Leave me alone!! It's all my dad's doing, I swear!!" I said, trying to defend my honor. We shared a laugh for a few seconds.
"Between you and me," I said, lowering my voice, "it's embarrassing. Of course, I can't say that to him. We joke around a lot in my family, but I think he would be devastated if we gave him grief about his Christmas display."
"Alright, I'll be nice and tell him how great it looks." Jaden said. He set the bag he was carrying down on the floor and removed his coat. I reached out to take it from him.
"Don't say anything if you don't have to. I don't need you encouraging this behavior!!" I advised him. "Wait here for a second and I'll go hang this up in the closet for you." I quickly returned from my task. "Everyone is gathered in the family room. Are you ready to join the party??"
The smile I had been enjoying for the past few minutes was gone instantaneously. Jaden began to look extremely nervous. He was trying to hide it, but he wasn't too successful. I could tell he wanted to say something, but he held back.
"S...sure." He replied timidly, while looking at the floor. "L...let's g...go."
Damn, he was stuttering again. I had figured out that when Jaden was stuttering, something was really bothering him. I needed to put him at ease.
"Dude, listen to me." He continued to stare at the floor. "JADEN." I said a bit more loudly. He looked up and into my eyes. "Everything will be okay, I promise." I said in my most reassuring voice. "Everyone is looking forward to meeting you. Both of you!!"
A small smile reappeared on Jaden's face, which made me feel a little bit better. I wasn't lying to him either. Everyone was rather curious to meet him, especially my brother and sister.
When I arrived home last week, my mom made the usual 'welcome home' dinner that she always did whenever any of us returned home after being away at college. Everyone in my immediate family was at the dinner: my parents, my sister Sarah, her husband Brad, their two kids Preston and Hunter, my brother Connor, and his longtime girlfriend Veronica.
Dinner was going great and I was having a good time seeing my family again after being away at school for the past few months. My happiness was short lived when my mother chose the very inopportune time (or opportune time, if your name happened to Sarah or Connor) right in the middle of dinner to question me about Christmas.
"Lane," my mom said to me during a lull in the dinner conversation, "is Jaden still coming to the Christmas Eve party??"
My head shot up and whipped around to look at her. CRAP!! I noticed my mom and dad had very innocent expressions on their faces, but Sarah, Brad, Connor, and Veronica all looked at me in surprise. I slowly looked around at everyone and, as much as I was trying to calm myself down inside, I guess my facial expression resembled something close to a deer caught in headlights. 'CRAP!! SHIT!! FFFUUUCCCKKK!!' I screamed in my head. I could see the wheels spinning in everyone's head, especially Connor and Sarah. SHIT!!
"Who is Jaden, Uncle Lane??" my nephew Preston asked me.
Leave it to the innocence of a child to ask the question that everyone, besides my parents, were obviously thinking. Of course, once that dam had been broken, there was no holding my siblings back. I could tell he was really struggling, but no matter how hard he tried, Connor couldn't stop a smirk from breaking through and appearing on his face.
"Yeah..." Connor drawled out, "Who IS Jaden??"
I'm not exactly sure why, but I hadn't mentioned Jaden to either my brother or sister yet. My parents had met Jaden when they visited me at school a few months ago. They fell in love with him instantly. I guess that feeling runs in the family!! :) I hadn't purposely 'NOT' told anyone else in my family about Jaden, but I hadn't made an effort to tell them either. I guess with all of the uncertainty surrounding the status of our relationship, I didn't want to mention him yet. Once I did, I knew I was opening myself up to all sorts of questions, questions I had no idea how to answer.
My dating life had never been a huge topic of discussion in my family, even when I was 'dating' girls in high school. I'm not sure if it was the gay issue, but the one area I enjoyed very little ribbing from my siblings was the status, or non-status, of my love life. As much as I had accepted the fact that I was gay, and as much as my family had accepted my sexuality too, I think we all considered the subject taboo, so we never really discussed any of those issues. Even when I thought I was dating Zach, they let me off the hook. The interesting thing, however, was how much of a fuss everyone always made over the guys that Sarah dated and the girls that Connor went out with. The way my family interacted when it came to the gay issue was very curious. I'm sure if someone wanted to, they could analyze our family dynamic for a long, long time.
I had to think, very quickly, what I was going to say. I didn't know what to tell or not tell my family about Jaden. I was caught completely off guard. I should have thought this through before I came home, so I would have known exactly what to say.
"Um, well, um...Jaden..." DAMMIT!! I was getting tongue-tied.
"He's Lane's friend from school." my father said, trying to come to my rescue.
"Ohhhh," Connor said, the smirk growing bigger by the second, "he's Lane's friend from school." The tone in Connor's voice indicated he was pretending to understand. He paused for a second, then looked over at Sarah. "You know, Sarah, I think I've heard about or met all of Lane's college friends. At least, I thought I had. Yet...this name...Jaden...hmmm...it's not ringing a bell."
"You're right, Connor." Sarah joined in, "I don't think I've ever heard of Jaden before either. That's so interesting because Lane usually loves to regale us with tales of his friends and their exploits. It's very curious that Jaden's name has never come up before."
I was seething inside. What are they doing?? I'm not supposed to get teased about my love life!! That's not how our family works!! I wondered why they picked right now to start giving me crap about this kind of stuff. Was it just finally 'my time'?? Or...did they somehow know, maybe instinctively, that Jaden was really important to me and could potentially be the love of my life?? Whatever it was, I couldn't help but get upset. This was Jaden...MY Jaden...they were teasing me about. This is SO unfair!!
"Jaden is just some guy I met this past semester at school. OK??" I spit out at them.
Connor turned and looked at our mother.
"Didn't you just ask Lane if he finalized plans with Jaden for Christmas Eve??" Connor asked her. My mother nodded her head. He turned back to look at me again. The smirk was threatening to swallow his whole face. "Wow. Christmas. That's a pretty big holiday. Why would you invite some guy", he made the quotations marks gesture as he said the words 'some guy', "that you JUST met to spend Christmas with us?? How well do you even know this guy, Lane?? It sounds like he's barely even an ACQUITANCE of yours."
"Shut up, ass..." I started to say, but I caught myself when I remembered my nephews were in the room, "uh...I mean...jerk." Both my mom and Sarah were giving me disapproving looks that I brushed off. DAMMIT!! DAMMIT!! DAMMIT!! I needed to think fast.
"Would everyone please listen to me??" I asked while looking around at each person at the table. "I only want to say this one time. I met Jaden at school this year and we became friends. It turns out he's from Hudson Valley. His parents are taking a trip over Christmas, so mom," I said, pointing to my mother, "suggested I ask him to spend Christmas with us when she found out. End of story. Got it??" I said all of this while staring Connor right in the eyes.
I was hoping that everyone would let the topic drop after my explanation. By 'everyone', I really just meant my brother and sister. However Connor, clearly enjoying the discomfort I was in, wasn't going to let me get out of this one so easily.
"Lane, I think I understand what you're saying. It was all MOM'S idea for Jaden to spend Christmas with us. I mean, it sounds like you don't care if he comes or not." Always the juvenile, Connor eyes twinkled when he said the word 'comes'. "Am I right Lane??"
"Connor!! That's enough!! Leave your brother alone!!" Veronica scolded him.
You know what?? I always liked Veronica. She was by far the best girlfriend that Connor ever had. The on-going joke in our family had everyone constantly trying to figure out how Connor had convinced Veronica to date him, because he was clearly dating out of his league.
"If Lane doesn't want to tell us about his new friend," Veronica continued, "he doesn't have too. That's his prerogative. I admit it's a bit strange that someone he BARELY knows is coming to spend Christmas with us. I guess we'll just have to sit here wondering if there's more to the story."
Wait a minute!! Did I just say that I always liked Veronica?? I might have to re-think that position. Apparently, she's been hanging around Connor too long!! Traitor!!
"His parents are going away for Christmas!! He needs SOMEWHERE to go!!" I was almost shouting at this point. I kept trying, rather foolishly, to make everyone think that Jaden and I were just friends, that he didn't mean something more to me. Why I was persisting?? Why was I trying so hard to convince everyone of this?? I didn't understand what was motivating me. Maybe it was the way they were teasing me. I wasn't used to this type of treatment.
I looked over at my parents for help, but they were just sitting there and smiling. I realized that they were...they were enjoying this!! My own parents!! How could they let me...suffer like this?? Suddenly, I wanted to be anywhere but sitting at the dinner table. I will never admit this to Connor or Sarah, but I did gain a small amount of respect for them, considering that they had been subjected to this kind of teasing so much more than I ever had.
"Whatever, Lane. I suspect...no, I KNOW there is more to Jaden than you are telling us. However, I'll be nice and let it go for now." Connor said.
"Gee, thanks." I said sarcastically, although I was secretly relieved by his comment.
An awkward silence fell around the table, as nobody knew what to say or do next. I think my guardian angel was watching over me because, all of the sudden, Hunter knocked his glass of milk over, spilling it on the table and the floor. My sister and brother-in-law immediately jumped to clean up the mess. Luckily for me, everyone became preoccupied with that disaster. After that, the rest of dinner passed by quickly. Connor didn't SAY anything else about Jaden, but I knew he was thinking about it. Every time I would look at him, he would do something, like wiggle his eyebrows, or lick his lips. I wanted to smash his face in.
When dinner was over, everyone pitched in to help clean up. At one point while I was drying dishes, I saw, out of the corner of my eye, my parents pull Connor and Sarah into the hallway. I wondered what that was all about, but didn't give it much thought. The rest of the evening was uneventful. Soon enough, everyone was getting ready to leave. Just as I was about to go upstairs to my room, Connor and Sarah pulled me aside and asked to chat for a minute.
"Lane," Sarah began, "we're...well, we're sorry for giving you so much shit earlier regarding Jaden."
WHAT??? WHAT IS GOING ON?? My siblings were...APOLOGIZING to me?? 'This has got to be some kind of trick' was the first thought that entered my mind after the initial shock wore off. I couldn't remember the last time the either of them had said they were sorry for something they said to me. In fact, I was pretty sure that had NEVER happened.
I looked back and forth between the two of them. They both were acting very sincere. Based on my lifetime of experience with these two, I remained cautious and kept my guard up. I refrained from saying anything for a moment, wanting them to explain further and really convince me of their truthfulness. They both noticed the skeptical look on my face.
"We're being serious. I swear!!" Connors said while putting his hands up in a sign of surrender.
"OOKKAAYY..." I said, "Um...thanks, I guess." I wasn't sure how to react to this reversal in their behavior. An hour ago they were taking great pleasure in giving me pain. Now, all of the sudden, they...what?? Did they actually feel bad about what they had done to me?? I was still suspicious, although I remembered that my parents had spoken to them earlier. Maybe my parents told them to apologize to me.
"Lane, I...actually WE...wanted you to know that, despite giving you a hard time, our strongest wish is for you to find someone to share your life with. We hope that you find someone to love, and who will love you. We understand that it's not easy being gay in today's world. If Jaden is the one who makes you happy, that's great." Sarah said gently.
This conversation was so unexpected and I was stunned. It was very nice of them to say these things to me. I was truly touched. My doubts vanished about their sincerity.
"Thank you, both of you. I really appreciate it." I said. I was on the verge of shedding a few tears.
"Would you mind sharing with us what is going on between you and Jaden?? Are you JUST friends, or is there something more going on?? Are you...dating him?? Is he your boyfriend??" Sarah asked.
Even though I was convinced they were being sincere, I still debated for a second if I should say anything about Jaden to them. I finally decided that I wanted to share how I felt about him. However, I didn't know how to answer these questions because of the confusing nature of our relationship.
"To be honest, I don't know. It's a long and complicated story." I replied.
"But, you do...you do LIKE him, right??" Sarah persisted.
I couldn't help the smile that crept onto my face. As I thought about my feelings for Jaden, I started to blush a little bit too.
"Yeah, I do. I like him a lot." I admitted.
"I KNEW IT!!!" Connor exclaimed. He pumped his fist in the air. "You owe me twenty bucks, sis." He said to Sarah.
What...what was going on?? Wait a minute...HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! This whole conversation had been...had been... a PLOY??? A ploy to get me to admit my true feelings for Jaden?? SON OFA BITCH!! Dammit, they got me. They got me good. I had been completely...bamboozled by their little 'act'. Forget seeing red. My whole body was on fire!!
"He, he, he." Connor ACTUALLY said 'he, he, he'. "I can't wait for Christmas now!! Hmmm...I'm going to have to start thinking up a list of questions to ask Jaden. For instance, 'Is Lane a good kisser??'" Connor puckered his lips and started making kissing sounds.
I'm positive that I was the maddest I had ever been in my life. How...how DARE they trick me like this?? Especially about Jaden!! I wanted both of them to suffer slow, tortuous deaths.
"ASSHOLE!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!! CONNOR, IF YOU SAY ANYTHING TO JADEN, I'LL...I'LL..." I was yelling at first, but I lowered my voice and tried to make it sound as menacing as possible when I finished my thought. "You'll be sorry. BOTH of you. Don't test me on this one."
Before either of them had a chance to respond to the threat I had just made, my father entered the room we were in.
"What's all the noise about??" he asked. I ignored him and kept my attention focused on my enem...siblings.
"You've been warned!!" I spit out.
I turned and ran to my bedroom. When I got there, I slammed the door and jumped on my bed. I tried to calm myself down, but it wasn't easy. Damn those two!! If I had been interested in someone that didn't bring the type of emotional baggage that Jaden had to the table, I guessed that it would probably be okay to joke around like that. I would probably even think it was funny. But, I suspected this kind of joking could easily turn into a disaster with Jaden. I did not need Connor and Sarah scaring him off. I gradually started to cool off, which allowed me to think more clearly. I knew deep down inside that if I explained the entire situation to Connor and Sarah, they would be understanding. But, I really didn't want to get into it with them, at least not right now. I had a hard enough time understanding what was going on between Jaden and I. I didn't think I could really explain it to them even if I wanted to. 'FAMILIES ARE A BITCH!!', I thought bitterly.
After I did some additional thinking, I decided against saying anything more about Jaden to my siblings. I came up with a theory regarding the whole situation. I figured that if I kept bringing up the subject and making a huge deal out of it, I would just be adding fuel to the fire, especially with Connor. I decided to drop the subject and, hopefully, they'd forget about Jaden until he arrived on Christmas Eve. Once everyone was gathered at the party, I suspected that Connor and Sarah would keep their big mouths shut, especially since my grandmother would be at our house.
I was 'out' to almost everyone in my family. The only exception was my maternal grandmother, who was my only living grandparent. She was an extremely religious woman and, therefore, she did not believe in homosexuality. In fact, she felt that type of behavior was an 'abomination against God'. She took that phrase directly from the Bible. If the subject of homosexuality ever came up when she was over our house, she would repeat that phrase like it was her mantra. I loved my grandmother, but I hated the fact that she would probably disown me if she ever found out the truth.
I wasn't a big fan of living a lie, especially since I had been 'out' for such a long period of time. However, to keep the family peace, my parents and I had decided a long time ago NOT to tell her about my sexuality. She had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few years ago and, while I felt bad that she was suffering through such a horrible disease, a part of me was glad that it wouldn't be too much longer before I could stop hiding that part of myself when I was around my family. I felt guilty for even having thoughts like that, but I couldn't help it.
I was positive that I could get away with passing Jaden off as my friend from school to her. I was doubtful she even had the mental capacity to think there might be more to our relationship than that. Connor and Sarah wouldn't say anything about me and Jaden in front of her. They might be jerks, but neither of them were stupid. As long as I could keep an eye on Jaden when he WASN'T in the same room as my grandmother, I felt confident that I could protect him from my siblings.
My mind came back and focused on Jaden. I thought of something that might help him relax.
"Before we go and join the party, would you like to take a quick tour of the house??" I asked him.
My hunch was that taking a few minutes to let Jaden get used to his new surroundings would give him a chance to settle down. By the look of relief on his face, I knew that I had made a good suggestion.
The house was designed in such a way that I was able to show Jaden almost every room without having to go near the family room. As we walked around, his nervousness diminished minute by minute. Of course, George was following us wherever we went. By the time we got to my room, he was joking around with me like he was when he first showed up tonight. Our interaction was very similar to some of the times we had together in the first few weeks after we met and before things started to get weird between us. I was so happy, I was practically bursting inside.
An interesting phenomenon happened as I was about to show Jaden my childhood room. This was the first time I had ever shown any kind of love interest of mine this room. The girls I dated in high school didn't count, and Zach had never been to my house before. It felt very strange to have Jaden in my room and, at first, I couldn't figure out why. Suddenly, it hit me. This room, this space, was the site of all of the formative years of my life. This is where I first realized I was gay. This was where I had contemplated suicide because of my sexuality. This was where I first discovered how to masturbate, and where my first fantasies of man on man sex had occurred. I had always wondered what it would be like to have sex in this room. Here I was taking someone into my room, someone I really liked, someone I wanted to have SEX with!! It was a very weird feeling that came over me and I tried to brush it off.
Jaden walked into my room and looked around for a second before zeroing in on an object sitting my dresser. My beer helmet. For some reason, he found this incredibly funny.
"What's this?? A beer helmet?? Oh my god!! That's hilarious!!" Jaden said, laughing out loud. "But...what's it doing here?? If you're going to have one of these things, shouldn't you bring it to college with you??"
I knew he was making fun of me, but I didn't care. He was laughing and having a good time, which was all I cared about.
"Hey, I love my beer helmet!! I'm not ashamed that I have one!!" I responded as I laughed with him.
"WHAT IS THAT??" Jaden exclaimed as something else caught his eye.
I saw what he was looking at, and I immediately got embarrassed.
"Is that, like, a...a shrine?? Wow...look at that setup!!" Jaden exclaimed. He started laughing again, this time almost uncontrollably. While his laughter was sweet music to my ears, I was cringing inside as I looked at the display Jaden was referring to.
There was really no other way to describe it except to call it a shrine. The table containing the 'shrine' was located in the far right corner of my room. When you first walked into my room, the 'shrine' was almost completely hidden by a huge oak dresser that sat on the floor next to it. The table contained every trophy, ribbon, certificate, and other type of award I had received while growing up, for both my academic and athletic accomplishments. The table was actually too small to contain everything I had earned, so it was all crammed together. I never paid much attention to all of that stuff. Sure, I was proud of my accomplishments, but I didn't need all of these awards to validate myself.
"Amazing!!" He said after he stopped laughing.
He started to examine the items on the 'shrine' more closely. After about thirty seconds of inspection, he turned to look at me.
"Did you win EVERY SINGLE athletic and academic award your school had available??" He paused for a second. "If this display wasn't so garish and over the top, I think I would actually be impressed!!"
"Ha, ha. Very funny. I didn't even put that together. My mom did all of that!!" I whined in protest.
"Oh, it was your MOM, is that it??." Jaden said in a disbelieving tone.
"Shut up!! She's PROUD of my accomplishments!!" I said, continuing to defend myself.
"I'm seeing a pattern develop here. You blamed your dad for the huge display outside and you're blaming your mom for this huge display inside. It's okay to take credit for these displays. I'm not judging you!!" He said.
It had been awhile since I had gotten to experience this side of Jaden's personality. I really hoped we were moving forward again after stagnating for so long. Although, if he keeps acting like this for the rest of the night, I might have to rip all of his clothes off and do dirty things to him. While I was attracted to every facet of Jaden personality, I had a hard time controlling myself when he got playful like this.
We finished all of the tour we could without heading near the family room. We ended up back in the same spot in the hallway where we had begun the tour.
"So, are you ready to meet everyone??" I asked him.
He started to get nervous again. However, I think my plan of touring the house had worked, because he clearly didn't get as nervous as he was before we started the tour.
"Um...exactly who is here??" he asked me.
"Let's see. Besides my immediate family, my grandma is here. We also have my two uncles, Fred and John, my two aunts, Debbie and Cheryl, and my cousins, Julia, Eric, Emily, Aimee, and Lauren."
"That's a LOT of people."
"It will be fine, Jaden." I said, repeating what I told him earlier. "You'll see. My family is very..."
"Do...do they...um...KNOW about you??" Jaden asked, interrupting me.
I knew exactly what Jaden meant by that question, even though he hadn't been very specific. I lowered my voice so I could be sure that no one in the other room would hear me.
"Everyone knows I'm gay, except for my grandmother, who hates homosexuality. Everyone else has known for years and they accept me for who I am."
"Do...do they KNOW about me??"
I paused for a second as I considered how to answer that question. I knew after the incident at school that he wasn't comfortable with people knowing he was gay. My parents and my siblings knew Jaden was gay, but I hadn't told any of my aunts, uncles, or cousins. I decided to be honest with him so he could deal with his emotions and (hopefully) not feel weird all night. I looked him right in the eye.
"I've told everyone that you are a friend from school. Of course, my parents and siblings know that you're gay and how I really feel..." I stopped talking. SHIT!! I only meant to tell him that they knew he was gay. I didn't mean to mention the part about how I really feel about him.
My face ran white. Did Jaden catch my slip?? I don't know why I was freaking out. Jaden knows that I like him, right?? He HAS to know, doesn't he?? Because of the awkwardness that had developed between us over the past few months, I hadn't said anything to him about my feelings. Plus, I had been waiting for him to come to me. I wanted him to feel ready before we started any type of relationship.
As much as I wanted to, I couldn't break eye contact with him. An incredible range of emotions ran across his face in the next few seconds. The ones I could clearly make out were shock, understanding, and finally...a smile??
"They know how you really feel about...what??" he asked me.
I couldn't believe it. My initial thought was that he would let my comment slide. In the past, he always seemed to get nervous whenever the conversation would even get in the vicinity of our relationship. But, now he's...is he actually pushing the issue?? He had to know what I was about to say.
"Um...well...um..."
"What is it, Lane?? What do they know??" Jaden persisted, the smile still on his face.
I got very uncomfortable. I was having trouble figuring out why Jaden continued to pursue this topic. He's almost DARING me to say something about my feelings for him. I was definitely NOT enjoying the sudden turn our conversation had taken. I didn't know what to say, so I continued to remain silent.
"What's the matter, Lane?? Cat got your tongue?? Boy, it must be something big!!" He said. He was laughing at this point and very clearly enjoying my discomfort.
I began to get incredibly frustrated. First my brother and sister were pressuring me about my feelings for Jaden. Now, Jaden himself was doing the same thing to me. Why is everyone so insistent on getting me to admit my inner feelings for him??
"You know what?? You're just as bad as my brother and sister."
"Who?? Me?? What did I say??" he asked, trying to act innocent. "If you don't want to tell me, that's up to you." he said, continuing his teasing.
I was at my wits end. By the way he was teasing me, I realized that I knew that he knew what I was going to say. And...he knew that I knew he knew. AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!
In my mounting frustration, I was able to break eye contact with him. For some reason, I looked up at the ceiling and...and that's when I saw it. It was a sign, it had to be. Suddenly, I was sure what I had to do. I was sure what I needed to do. I was sure what I WANTED to do.
"Fine. Do you want to know what they know?? They know THIS!!"
I reached out quickly and grabbed his head with both of my hands. I roughly pulled him toward me. I stopped when our faces were mere centimeters apart. I looked into his eyes. They were wide with shock from my sudden action. We stared at each other for only a second or two, but it seemed like an eternity passed during that time.
I couldn't take it anymore. I had been waiting for him to make a move for so long. My desire for him was overwhelming me.
Jaden closed his eyes in anticipation of what was going to come, and that action was the green light I needed to continue. I relaxed my grip on his head. Slowly, very slowly, I began to run my right thumb over his skin in a circular motion and I started to massage my fingers in his hair. I leaned forward and our lips touched very gently. After a few seconds, much to my surprise, it was Jaden who moved next, leaning in and trying to press our lips together more tightly.
I started to kiss him, slowly moving my lips over his. He remained motionless at first. Then, ever so slowly that at first I didn't realize it, he started to kiss me back. I was lost in the moment, in the feelings coursing through my entire body. I noticed at some point that he had put his hands on my hips, resting them ever so gently around my waist. He moved his hands again. This time they ended up on my back, his arms encircling my body.
I got over the shock that Jaden and I were kissing...WE WERE KISSING!!...and my natural instincts took over. I opened my mouth, ready to swap from proper spit with him. My tongue reached out and I ran it along his closed lips, trying to prompt him to open his mouth too. Suddenly, he stopped kissing me and pulled back.
DAMN!! I thought I had pushed him too fast. I opened my eyes and found him staring back at me. It was like he was studying me, searching for something. His cheeks were bright red, flush with the excitement of what had just transpired between us. I was encouraged by the fact that even though he had stopped kissing me, he didn't pull away completely. His hands were still on my back. We continued to stared at each other for a few more seconds. Neither of us spoke, but words weren't needed because his eyes were communicating so much. What I saw in his eyes filled me with happiness. I saw desire, and...dare I say it...PASSION in his gaze. Somewhere in the fog that had taken hold of my brain, I realized we were standing in the hallway, very close to the room where all of my relatives were located. At that moment, I could have cared less. In fact, we could have been standing on the fifty-yard line of a football field in front of a crowd of 75,000 people and that wouldn't have fazed me. Right now, Jaden was my whole world.
All I wanted was to feel his lips on mine again. This felt good, this felt natural, and this felt right. I realized I had been searching for this place and for this feeling my whole life. I hadn't been aware that I was searching but, now that I had finally found it, I knew that I was home and I never wanted to leave.
I leaned back in, ready to kiss him again. As my eyes closed, I noticed that he started leaning toward me as well. Of course, I should have realized I was pressing my luck. All of the sudden I heard someone speak.
"WELL, WELL, WELL," a very familiar voice boomed out behind me, "What's going on here??"
Jaden jumped away from me in surprise, immediately removing his arms from around my body. FUCK!! I opened my eyes. Before I turned around, I glanced up at the sign, the mistletoe that had prompted me to take action. I completed my turn and came face to face with Connor. He was smiling as wide as the Cheshire cat. I knew that in a second he was going to start giving me grief over what he had just witnessed, but I didn't care. Jaden and I had kissed!! I had gotten the only present I wanted for Christmas this year and I was happy.
TO BE CONTINUED
Be on the lookout for Chapter 20 coming soon!!
Thanks once again to everyone for your continued support of my story. I also want to give a shout out to one of my favorite sitcoms of all time, "Friends". I was watching a rerun a few weeks ago, the episode where Phoebe and Rachel find out about Chandler and Monica's secret relationship. If you've seen the episode, which is one of my all-time favorites, you'll recognize my (very) little 'homage' contained in this chapter. By the way, if you're not watching the television show "24", you're really missing out on something special and exciting. It is, by far, the best show on television right now.
FEEDBACK, FEEDBACK, FEEDBACK---This is lifeblood for us writers, so please drop me a quick line.
My e-mail address is: jaden.scott@adelphia.net