Love thru Chat By Billy Burrew
Legal Disclaimer: This story is totally fictional and not meant to imply anything about the sexuality of the guys of the BSB or NSYNC. If you are under the age of 18, offended by homosexual material, or it is illegal to view such materials in your area, please leave now....Otherwise, go grab a nice mocha or some chai tea, or hot cocoa, get comfy and get ready to suspend your disbelief. Have Fun and Enjoy the Story.
Chapter 1: Getting to Know You
Logging onto Cybervenue.com
Logging in as billy_burrew
You see here karen07, dopie20, sleepy78, jc_1s_hot, krazy15, crunkboy19, Jscott77, timbergirl420, mine15, malena14
Karen07 says BILLY!!!
Dopie20 says Hi Billy!
Jc_1s_hot says hi Billy
You say Hi Karen, dopie, Jc, and sleepy. Hi all! Whassup?
Crunkboy19 says has anyone ever seen the guys in here?
Timbergirl420 leaves, heading for 'NSYNC
Karen07 says not much billy, you?
You say Not a lot, just relaxing after work....am pooped!
Dopie20 says LOL!!
Jscott77 says age/sex/location?
Sleepy78 says 21/f/MO
You say 27/m/NC
Dopie20 says 20/f/WI
Jscott77 says 27, Billy? Wow...you must be the oldest one here....and you're a guy?
You say yeah yeah.....someone gimme my cane....or find me my walker....jeez! LOL
Karen hands Billy his cane
You say Thanks...Karen!!
Jscott77 says LOL....that's not what I meant...you aren't that old!
Dopie says How old are you Jscott77?
You say Uh-huh...sure....I know what you meant....hrumph! LOL!!
Karen says LOL!!
Jc_1s_hot says Hey Billy....how is your story coming? Is Karen still beating up on Chris and Joey?
Jscott77 blushes
Malena14 says Who is your favorite NSYNCer?
Timbergirl420 says JUSTIN!!
You say Lance and JC!
Karen says JC
Dopie20 says Billy likes the two twinks! LOL
Karen07 says LOL...yeah!
Jscott77 says What's a twink?
You say A twink is a guy who (like a twinkie) is light and golden on the outside....with a yummy creamy center on the inside.
Dopie20 says LOL!! That is so funny!
Jscott77 says billy? RU g.a.y?
Karen07 says Here we go again!
Dopie20 says LOL
You say yep...I am g.a.y. at least the last time I checked....LOL...lemme go kiss a guy just to make sure.
Karen says Billy....behave!
You grin evilly at Karen07
Jscott77 says Hey...that's cool...and you like NSYNC.....cause of their looks, huh?
You say No...not just that....I went to see them in concert in Raleigh..they are AWESOME showmen. I had the most fun. Yeah they're cute and all, but I also love their music too...I like dance music and have loved NSYNC since I first heard I Want You Back out at clubs. I hate the stereotype that the only reason gay men listen to NSYNC is because they are hotties...some of us like their music too!
Karen07 says Wow....go Billy....get mad!
Jscott77 says No...I didn't mean it like that....you're really overreacting Billy!
You say Really? I just re-read what you typed....it makes it sound like I had the right reaction. Don't worry....tho...I don't hold grudges! LOL
Karen07 says oh really? I think Billy reacted right....you made it sound like he would only like them cause of their looks. That's pretty closeminded Jscott77.
Jc_1s_hot says Go Billy
Jscott77 sighs
Jscott77 I didn't mean it to sound like that....man....you have some staunch supporters here Billy!
You smile at Jscott77
You say Yeah I do....tho sometimes we go after each other....you know....weed out the weak ones in the pack. LOL
Karen says Yeah...we like Billy....HEY!
Karen says Weed out the weak ones? LOL
Jscott77 says to you Do you have AIM?
You say to Jscott77 I have AOL......my s/n is billburrew
Karen07says Billy? How is that story coming? Have you killed me off yet?
timbergirl420 leaves, heading for 'NSYNC
Jscott77 asks you "Are you on AOL now?"
You say No....you're impending doom is a chapter or so away....LOL...I hope to write it this weekend if I get some free time. (I hope)
You say to Jscott77 "I can get on AOL in just a second. Did you wanna chat there?"
mine15 says Karen....why is Billy gonna kill you?
Jscott77 says "yeah....if you don't mind?
Karen07 says It's all part of Billy's story, I play the part of the villain
You Go Away From Keyboard
Welcome To America Online
You've Got Mail!
Jscott7777:
Hi there....thanks for getting on AOL. I just wanted to chat with you in private and tell you I am sorry. I didn't mean what I said in the chatroom...it came out all wrong when I typed it.
BillBurrew:
No problem man. It takes a lot more to get me riled up. I talk softly and carry a big stick, knowhatImean?
Jscott7777:
Oh really? LOL....well I talk LOUD...and I carry a BIGGER stick!
BillBurrew: I am glad I am not the only one who watches way too much cartoons!
Jscott7777:
Yeah! I love cartoons! So...what were those girls talking about with that story? Are you a writer?
BillBurrew:
No...not professionally. I am a graphic artist. I design catalogs and other printed pieces for the company I work for. I write erotic fan fiction about NSYNC and BSB. It's fun and lets me say things I wouldn't be able to talk about with anyone. I can just add it to my stories.
Jscott7777:
Wow! Erotic fan fiction, huh? That sounds....interesting.
BillBurrew:
Yeah. I have 2 Long term stories going, one of NSYNC and one of BSB. The NSYNC story is a little more fantasy-based. I gave them all X-Men type powers. It made it fun. I have gotten a LOT of email about that one. I also wrote a more me-based one with the BSB. I guess I am the main character and its about what happens when I win tickets to go see them in DC, where I used to live. I also wrote a really nice short story with the BSB, tho it was really kinda sad, it was also my most read story...I got some 70+ emails from that story in just a week...most from girls who told me it was nice and made them cry. I pounded that one out in one night, I was inspired.
Jscott77:
You write A LOT! It sounds like you have more fun with the NSYNC story and release more emotions in the BSB stories. Where are these stories....I'd love to read them sometime if that's OK.
BillBurrew:
Sure that's OK...Just email me and tell me what you think of them. I have them all on my website, as well as getting them posted chapter at a time on the nifty erotic stories archive. The address for my site is:
http://www.geocities.com/billy_burrew
the nifty archives web address is:
http://www.nifty.org/
Jscott77:
Kewl. Lemme get a pen and write down those addresses. What's on the archive?
BillBurrew:
Lots more stories...they are skewed out into different topics....like college, athletics, celebrities, military, etc. It's kewl. That's where I first got inspired to write fan fiction about my favorite bands.
Jscott77:
That's awesome! I love to read stories. I can't wait to read yours and the others on the archive.
BillBurrew:
Thanks. I enjoy writing them. So...are you still in high school, or college, or work?
Jscott77:
I am a musician, songwriter and singer. It's kinda fun, though I am having the worst problems with my latest song. I can't seem to make it come together.
BillBurrew:
I have had that problem writing my stories and at work....I just ended up having to put them aside for a bit and do something completely different.....then go back later. It looks better and seems easier then.
Jscott77:
Really? I guess that is what I am doing now. Just chatting and not thinking about it too much.
BillBurrew:
Good! Chat and play online and tomorrow it will be fresh and new for you to finish.
Jscott77:
So Bill.....where in the US are you?
BillBurrew:
I live in Chapel Hill, NC...home of the UNC Tarheels. (for now) Where are you?
Jscott77:
I am staying with a friend in Fl while I write this song....His family has a nice house. What does for now mean?
BillBurrew:
Florida huh? I am waiting for my lease on this house to be up, then I am gonna be moving to Florida. I can't stand cold weather....I have never liked it. So....I will be looking for a job and a apartment in Florida, probably Orlando, come June.
Jscott77:
Wow. So you're just gonna up and move here? That's gonna be a change for you.
BillBurrew:
Well...I dunno....I never really got into North Carolina. It's just kinda screwed up. I moved here from DC and basically have yet to make a friend here in this damn state. The people here are just not very friendly....or maybe I just forgot how to make friends after living in DC for so long. Anyways, I hope it will be a positive change. My biggest worry is gonna be finding out where is a nice, affordable area to live in, and finding a job that will keep me down there.
Jscott77:
The job market down here is pretty good. I'll keep an eye open for any graphic artist positions. I will look in the paper and see if there is anything I can see. Apartments should be really easy to find. I guess its just a matter of looking around down here, maybe coming and visiting for a few days.
BillBurrew:
Yeah. I will probably do that sometime in April or May. Thanks for looking in the newspaper for me. I do check online but sometimes its better to just page through the paper itself.
Jscott77:
So, what do you do besides writing and chatting?
BillBurrew:
Well....I love to cook, and work out at the gym and design stuff on the computer....just for fun. I like to ride my bike (tho I don't do it that much....the drivers around here are nuts....I am afraid to ride on the roads.)
Jscott77:
Yeah. I know what you mean....its murder on the roads. I'm glad there are bike paths down here.
BillBurrew:
What about you? Do you like to go out to clubs and bars? Movies?
Jscott77:
I love watching movies.....just laying around in bed watching movies all day when I can. I like to go out dancing with friends, but I am not big on drinking. I like cooking, but am not too good at it, and I love to just play on the net, find out new stuff, ya know?
BillBurrew:
Yeah. I haven't done a lot of all day movie watching from bed. I normally stay up late and chat and then sleep. When I sleep, I sleep! I have actually slept through a whole day, and woke up at like 7 pm. I used to be able to DRINK....when I lived in DC. I used to go out with my friends and just get knee-walkin' drunk. Now...I just don't do that anymore. I have to drive home and won't drive if I have had more than 3 drinks, and I really don't know anyone to go out with here so I just kinda go out to a bar and nurse a few drinks and go home.
Jscott77:
You don't dance when you go out?
BillBurrew:
Oh no! Not by myself! I used to dance when I went out with my best friend from DC, now I just kinda do my best wallflower impersonation.
Jscott77:
So...you dance with your best friend but not alone? That seems kinda silly!
BillBurrew:
Actually, I don't dance at all anymore. My best friend passed away this spring about a week before his birthday, so I just don't dance anymore....its just no fun for me.
Jscott77:
Aww.......I am so sorry...its not silly.....jeez...I feel like a dick for saying that!
BillBurrew:
Why? You didn't know. He died and I just haven't really felt like dancing or anything. I just kinda have to deal with it and have to get over it.
Jscott77:
Well....I am sorry. I didn't mean to....intrude Bill.
BillBurrew:
No problem...no intrusion...you didn't know....and I told ya. That's one of the reasons I wanna move to Florida, to just get away from it. Leave my bad memories here in North Carolina and start out fresh down there.
Jscott77:
That's kewl. That definitely sounds like a plan.
BillBurrew:
Yeah. It should be exciting.
Jscott77:
Well...I am gonna head off here and check out these websites. I'll email you after I read your stories and tell you what I think, OK?
BillBurrew:
Sure...that's kewl. Do you mind if I put you on my buddy list. I'll say hi if I see you on when I am on.
Jscott77:
No...I don't mind at all. I already put you on my list here....is that OK?
BillBurrew:
Yeah. Well....I'll let you go. Have fun reading....don't get overwhelmed at the nifty site. There is a lot to read there.
Jscott77:
Oh...OK...thanks for the warning. I am still amazed that that many people write fiction like that. This will be really interesting. Later Billy! Thanks!
Logging onto Cybervenue.com
Logging in as billy_burrew
You see here karen07, dopie20, sleepy78, jc_1s_hot, krazy15, kisses4u, crazy4jrt, Lanceslove, Joeysgirl79
You say Hi y'all! Whassup?
Dopie20 says what did you say sleepy?
Karen07 says Hi Billy.....not much u?
Dopie20 says Hi Billy
Jc_1s_hot says Hey Hey Billy!
Sleepy78 says I asked what happened that made Lance collapse on stage?
You say Not a lot. Just checkin my email and seeing who was online. I wuz kinda bored.
Jscott77 enters
You say Hi Jscott.....what's up man?
Dopie20 says Hi Jscott.
Jscott77 says BILLY!!!! I just read your story. It was really good. I liked it!
Karen07 says Hi Jscott
Kisses4u says NO!!! Don't read his stories! They are just SICK! He write g ay fiction and makes Lance get in bed with another guy! ICKKKK!! DON"T READ IT!!! Lance and the guys R not G ay!
Dopie20 says LOL! You're his best reader kisses4u!
Jscott77 says Who's to say they are all straight kisses? You don't know them. They might like guys! I think his stories are awesome! I still have to read the BSB stories. I was gonna read the short one first, then work on the long one.
Karen07 says Hey! I am in his story. Stop bashing it! I think he writes pretty good!
Sleepy78 says I like Billy's stories. They are kewl!
Kisses4u says I hate them. Billy's not a real fan. Real fans wouldn't make stuff like that up about the guys!
You say Well...I am of the mind that negative opinions are like buttholes.....everyone has one....no one really likes to hear them!
Dopie20 says LMAO@Billy!!!
Karen07 says LOL Billy!
Jscott77 says Dam!.....Go Billy! LOL
Kisses4u leaves, heading for chat lobby
You say Aww......she left. She is, so far, my only heckler. I am all broken up that she left. And if you believe that.....I have some nice oceanfront property in Arizona I can sell ya!
Jscott77 says Man....she was RUDE! I am glad she left. Does she ever say anything nice?
Karen07 says Yeah Billy....I can tell you are just SO sad! LOL
Dopie20 says No...she just acts like a complete bit ch to everyone. She says she knows the guys and that they chat with her a lot. I kinda doubt it!
You say Oh yeah Karen....I am really put out by it. I mean, I may have to go to therapy. LOL
Sleepy78 says Billy!!! LOL
Karen07 says I REALLY doubt she knows thew guys!
Jscott77 grins evilly at you
You wink at Jscott77
Jscott says to you Wanna chat on AOL?
You say Sure....one sec...lemme sign on there and off here.
You say Hey guys.....I'll be back later. Keep the embers burning in here,
Welcome to AOL
You've Got Mail!
Jscott77:
Hi! So....are you always the center of attention in the chat room?
BillBurrew:
No...sometimes I just lurk. Other times...the gurlz bring me out and make me talk!
Jscott77:
So you're a lurker sometimes, huh? LOL
BillBurrew:
Yeah. So...did you get a chance to read anything from the nifty archive?
Jscott77:
No.....I looked through it tho...WOW....that's a lot of stories. I saw yours in the boy bands area, tho when I looked through there. I wanted to read your stories first before I started on the others.
Hey....I like your webpage....that was cool what you did with the signs and all.
BillBurrew:
Thanks! I worked on that site for a whole night one night. I looked up and it was 7am. I just shut the machine off and went to bed. I think I was lost in time for like 6 hours....just getting the light effects right on the signs and all. Then I did the story logos and everything. It was fun!
Jscott77:
Yeah. I looked at the logo for the NSYNC story. That was pretty awesome! You use Photoshop, huh?
BillBurrew:
Oh yeah! Photoshop 5.0 is my friend. LOL
Jscott77:
I wanted to ask you. How long have you been gay?
BillBurrew:
Hmm....that's a seguway. I have been gay since I was little. I used to hang out with a guy in my neighborhood and we used to play with each other( I mean PLAY..and I ain't talkin hopscotch.) That was like, in 2nd grade. I guess I knew around then or maybe even before.
Jscott77:
HOLY! That young? Wow! I dunno if I am gay or not, but I think I am. Were you always open about it?
BillBurrew:
NO!!! LOL. Not at all. I was in the closet til freshman year in college. This girl from the basketball team I managed and I were out renting a video and she picked me up a gay newspaper. She must have known. LOL. I found out later that she was bi. I miss seeing her. She and I kinda drifted apart the last year or so of college. She was so kewl.
Jscott77:
Wow. So you came out then?
BillBurrew:
No.....I had some guys hit on me, and some guys do more than that. Then my friend from work ( I worked at the Hard Rock Caf, in DC when I was college) took me to Tracks, the big gay bar in DC. We were there for my managers birthday. We watched a male stripper and my friend gave me a buck to put in his underwear and he came over and kissed me full on the mouth. He was cute. I enjoyed it. I didn't come out to my other friends til senior year cause I had some problems sophmore and junior year with my roommates being freaks. The one had heard a rumor I might be gay and made my life miserable so I just didn't tell anyone anything til senior year. Then a friend of mine accidentally told my roommates and my sister about a guy I was starting to see and it was all out of the bag. Then my mom found out and tried to keep it from my dad, who somehow knew and told my mom he knew a year later. It was a painless process...for the mostpart. Sometimes it was a little uncomfortable...but nothing major.
Jscott77:
Wow....you are lucky. My friends would probably just completely go off if I came out to them.
BillBurrew:
Never assume that, tho. I did and came to find out that my friends were all really REALLY cool with it. Even the ones that always made the gay jokes and cracks. They were all supportive. My sister thought it was so awesome, I became a topic of conversation at her parties. "I have a gay brother"...Jeez...LOL
Jscott77:
Really? Maybe I will tell them! I'll wait for the right time and just sit down and tell them.
BillBurrew:
Remember. Nothing about your friendship with them has changed, you just wanted to let them know something important about yourself and your life. If they freak out, don't get mad and hate them....give them some time to let it sink into their heads and give them another chance. If they still are buttheads about it...then they weren't really your friends in the first place.
Jscott77:
Thanks Billy. I love talking with you. I can be so open...its like having a blanket of fog lifted off me for a while.
BillBurrew:
I like chatting with you too. Its made me remember what I was like when I was your age, for good and bad, I guess.
Jscott77:
Huh? What bad?
BillBurrew:
I have changed from the guy I was in college. I used to be outgoing and gregarious, now I am kinda reserved and more timid. I used to be a pretty happy kinda guy. I always used to be cheery, almost nauseatingly so. Now I just feel like I am just kinda older, more cynical and kinda bitter and alone. I watched this commerical the other day for a car, and they asked if the you when you were 17-18 would be happy with the way the you (now) turned out. I thought about this for ages and realized that the younger me would probably hate the person that I have become. I sorta let myself drift firmly into my late 20's, single, gay, and marching doubletime into mediocrity. I can't even remember what I used to dream of being when I was young. Hmmmm....that's kinda sad...and way too deep for this conversation.
Jscott77:
Is it? I don't think its any more deep than me talking about my sexuality and the insecurities I have because of it. Wow.....what you said really made me think, tho. I am gonna really look at everything I do, and every direction my life takes now...make sure I stay on the path I see myself on now. As for you being mediocre? I doubt it. Really! Even tho I haven't talked face to face with you, I can tell you are a REALLY smart person. You are one of those kids I used to be jealous of in school because they could just think of something amazing and just make it happen. As for love.....well...who's to say that you should be with someone now....maybe its just not your time to be with someone yet. As for your dreams....well...its never too late to go to sleep and dream some new ones, then wake up and make them happen.
BillBurrew:
I guess its never too late to find some new dreams. Maybe the ones I had when I was younger just weren't meant to be, or unrealistic or whatever.
Jscott77:
So. What kind of guys do you like? Besides Lance, and JC that is..LOL
BillBurrew:
LOL....Besides Lance and JC?? I think the gurlz online take me too seriously. If I ever met those guys I would probably close up like a clam. They probably would be uncomfortable with me being gay, so I would just kinda say "hi" and shake their hand and then just look for the first way out.
I dunno. I don't have a type of guy I like. They just have to click with me when we talk. I used to be a body queen...(I have since recovered from that), and I look past the superficial. I just like a guy that I can be me around, knowhatImean??
Jscott:
Why? They're just guys, like anyone else, why be nervous?
BillBurrew:
Hmmm....probably for the same reason I spend days cleaning my house before my folks or any of my siblings come to visit. I don't want to let them see the way I really am. I'd rather be nameless and easily forgotten than to have someone's memory of me be because I acted or did something stupid.
Jscott:
When do you stop doing that? Acting...that is?
BillBurrew:
With my siblings, never. With regular people.....when I get past my initial nervousness, which can be quick for some people, and take a while for others.
Jscott77:
Wow! We are not so dissimilar, you know? We both fear that what we are will make fools out of us! Remind me to thank you now for this chat. I don't think I could ever talk like this to a therapist. If I ever have a problem, can I chat with you?
BillBurrew:
No...not that dissimilar at all. Coming out isn't a one time process...I have found, you go thru it all your life. Coming out to friends and family, then at work, then again at a new level, and so on and so on and so on.....it's a never ending process, and I am a level or two ahead.
Jscott77:
I am sure I can catch up pretty quick once I tell someone. LOL
BillBurrew:
No kidding! Yeah! I wouldn't mind at all if you chatted with me if you had a problem. I will try to give you my point of view (which is the outsider's view) and try to give some kind of good advice.
Jscott77:
Thank you...I appreciate it a bunch. It's hard to talk to anyone about my feelings...I am not always sure of them myself.
BillBurrew:
Yeah it is. It gets easier....the more at ease you feel with your feelings....the easier it is to discuss them with someone.
Jscott77:
I think I am gonna tell my best friend about my feelings. I am so scared tho. I don't know what I'd do if he reacts badly to it.
BillBurrew:
You will give him his space...and give him a little time to realize that its not really a choice or a voting matter...it's a fact about you that you decided to entrust to sharing with him. If he's a really close friend, he'll come around.
Jscott77:
I hope so. I am so scared that he'll hate me. We go way back he and I...I have known him for like 5 years.
BillBurrew:
Well.....remember....above all else...don't punish yourself over someone else's reaction to this. This is what you are...you are still the same you...if someone reacts badly...they are the ones that are changing...by reacting negatively...or changing the way they act towards you.
Jscott77:
OK. Yeah! You're Right! I am still me....nothing about my relationship with them as friends has changed. Bill...I really owe you one. Chatting with you has really helped me to come to grips with what I am feeling.
BillBurrew:
No problem. Remember....take it slow and easy...think about the best way to say it, then say it.
Jscott:
OK. Well....I think the time has just presented itself...he's here and sitting down across from me. BRB
BillBurrew:
KEWL. Good Luck!
<30 minutes later>
BillBurrew:
How did it go?
That's all for Chapter 1. Tell me what you thought. I am unsure as to whether I should continue writing this story (tho I do have it mapped out in my head and its got a few interesting twists to it) Please email me with your thoughts! billy_burrew@yahoo.com