This is a work of fiction. It is straight out of my imagination, except for most of the pagan practices mentioned. This is written for adults and if you are not supposed to read this where you live, then please don't.
Part 5
I left a note on the fridge telling Ryan that I was running to the store. It wasn't a lie. If I was going to prepare gumbo for dinner, I had to have some fresh ingredients. What I didn't mention is that I was going to stop by Marina's home.
I saw her ancient station wagon sitting in front of her well kept craftsman home. I parked and practically ran to the door. I started to knock when I heard her call for me to enter. I turned the doorknob and entered her dimly lit foyer. I could smell her special blend of incense burning. I savored the smell for a moment and then remembered why I was there. I looked around the house until I found her standing in the kitchen stirring a pot on the stove.
"A new potion," I asked.
"Chicken and rice," she returned. I pulled a cup from the cabinet and placed it on the table. She turned around and pulled me into a hug. She kissed me on the cheek and then looked me in the eyes. She turned and walked to a large cabinet and opened it. It was full of large glass jars filled with herbs and other ingredients. She pulled down a half dozen jars and grabbed and small bowl. She pulled a pinch or more of each herb and placed it in the bowl. She put the jars back and closed the cabinet. She stirred the herbs with her fingers, tossing them like a salad. She pulled a pinch out and placed it in a tea ball. She put it in my cup and smiled at me.
I turned around and grabbed the kettle from the stove and poured water into the cup. She took the rest of the herbal mixture and placed it in a small paper bag and folded the top. She sat at the old wooden table in the center of the kitchen and waited for me to join her.
"I need help," I started as I sat down.
"I know. The tea should start helping with the nausea. I have to admit, it will only help the symptom and not the cause. The cause will require more effort on your part. Personally, I think it is much ado about nothing." I sat quietly staring down into my tea. I wondered when I would be as good as her. When would I have all the answers?
"I can't deal with it," I said and pulled the tea ball from the cup and placed it on a saucer. I sipped my tea feeling the warm liquid run into my stomach immediately settle the turmoil.
"There is nothing to deal with. Teach him and learn from him. He is only a man." She wistfully smiled as she stared out the window dreamily.
"There is much to deal with. I have to deal with this man in my house. This handsome man, to whom I am to be a mentor, is in my home; in my life. I can't, nor want to describe the thoughts and feelings I have been contending with for the last few days." I blurted out my whole problem to my friend and hoped for a sage answer that would illuminate my problem.
"So?" She sat looking at me with the same wistful grin.
"So? What do you mean, `so.' I am having a problem here."
"No you aren't. You are making a problem." I sat thinking about what she said and I got more and more confused. Her smile fell into a look of concern.
"I can't do this," I mumbled. She looked deep into my eyes and I felt her touch my cheek. Her hands were on the table, but the caress was obvious.
"There is nothing for you to do but live. You have been dead long enough. You died with Ward, and now have to live. I am not saying that you have to replace Ward. I am not saying you have to love Ryan. I am saying that you have to live. I worry about you. I worry about your art. I worry about your magick. You have so much to live for."
"I am not dead," I said, barely above a whisper. "I live as well as you do"
"You died the night Ward passed in your arms. His life moved away and yours followed. Your body just didn't realize it."
"I am alive."
"Darling, I love you, and I can't bear to see you like this." She took my hands and squeezed them gently.
"Did you send him to me? Did you cast on us? You don't even know if he is gay, do you?"
"I would never work a spell to make someone fall in love. That is the cruelest spell I can imagine. I was told that Ryan was to be your student and that is all. What else happens is up to you and the universe. And Ryan, of course." She released my hands and moved over to the stove. She stirred the pot and looked for some spices to add. I sat looking into my tea as a few stray leaves swirled around the bottom.
"Who told you," I asked, thinking of what she had said.
"An old friend who also cares about you, came to me and let me know." I tried to think of who it could be. I stared at my reflection in the surface of my tea, and then sipped it slowly.
"You aren't going to tell me," I asked over my cup.
"You know," she said without turning. I knew, and feelings of sadness mixed with joy and love swirled in my soul like the tealeaves in my cup.
I stopped at the market and got everything for dinner. I got home and started cooking. I chopped the celery, onions, and bell pepper; affectionately referred to as the holy trinity of Cajun cooking. I laid out all the seasonings and ingredients and started cooking the roux. I splurged and bought shrimp, and I luckily found some andoui sausage. I was peeling the shrimp when Ryan came bounding down the stairs. He trotted into the kitchen and sat on a barstool. I turned and smiled as a greeting. I continued with the preparations as I asked about his day.
"So, what have you been up to," I asked.
"I was up in my room writing in my book. I did those things you wanted me to write, and then I started a little journal."
"Good, that will be very helpful. I write in a journal once in a while. I have a hard time keeping one, but I have found I can remember to add to it at least once a week." I stood looking at this man in my kitchen. A man I was falling for, though my mind told me it was a bad idea. My heart reached out and longed to touch him.
"What," he asked, and I realized I was staring.
"Oh, sorry, I was just thinking," I said and turned back to my cooking.
We ate dinner around seven o'clock, and did the dishes together. I put away the leftovers and looked forward to lunch tomorrow. We watched the Simpson's in the TV room and I went to my office. Ryan went upstairs to read and get ready for work on Monday morning. I decided it was too late to paint, so I worked on a graphite portrait of a little girl. I found that I was calmer after talking to Marina. I tried to not think about Ward or Ryan. The drawing flowed onto the paper with little distraction. I smoothed the graphite and darkened the shadows. There were a few more things to work on before it would be finished. I was getting tired and I didn't want it to show in the drawing. I put away my pencils and turned out the light.
I made sure the doors were locked and then walked quietly up the stairs. I tried to slip past Ryan's room without disturbing him. I was just passing the door when I heard a gasp. I stopped and looked at the door with concern. I thought maybe something was wrong. I stepped closer to the door and listened. I heard him moan quietly and then gasp again. I thought that perhaps he was hurt or even dreaming. I listened closely, leaning close to the door but not touching it.
"Mmmm, yes, ugh," I heard muffled by the door. I realized what was happening and my face grew hot. I wanted to back away but my feet wouldn't move. I could feel my groin stirring and I began to swell. I closed my eyes and listened to the muffled groans and heavy breathing.
My own breathing grew faster, and I reached down and rubbed my hardening cock. I bit my lip and imagined that I was in the room with him. I tried to imagine what his cock looked like as he pumped it. I imagined it was large with a purple head. Perhaps it was uncut. I imagined the foreskin sliding over the head as he stroked. I reached into my pants and felt the precum seeping into my underwear.
His groans grew louder and I could tell he was close. I pulled my cock from inside my pants and began stroking it. I was so hot, that I knew it would not take me long. I could hear his breathing getting ragged and could feel my orgasm building. I pumped harder focusing on the sounds from his room, but trying not to make any sound myself. I felt my orgasm exploding through my body and I quickly cupped my hand to catch my semen.
The orgasm pounded through my body and I tried not to fall down. I could hear Ryan climax loudly and then his breathing slowed. I came to my senses and rushed into my room and to the bathroom. I washed my hands and stripped off my clothes. I pulled back the covers on my bed and then kneeled at my altar. I thanked the Goddess for giving me pleasure in life, but asked for more control.
(To be continued)
The next chapter will be submitted soon.
I welcome comments, twinkchaser@excite.com