Love Lust and Everything Between

By Nick K

Published on Oct 31, 2014

Gay

The following story depicts sexual relationships between two college-aged men. If this offends you, leave now and forever hold your flames. If it is illegal for a person in your area to read such material or you are under the age of 18, please leave also... Or don't. I really can't control you. Events that take place in this story are not true. While a few events may be based on my experiences, they are wholly false. Any events that are even slightly based on real events have had the peoples' names changed for their privacy and so on. Does anyone read these anyway? Also please please PLEASE donate to nifty. They are a wonderful site and need the support


Alright! This is my first attempts at writing a story that's going to be public anywhere. The rest will forever lay on a hard drive somewhere that will be destroyed as soon as it can so it can never see the light of day. Ever. Comments? Email theshyguy64@gmail.com. I'm going to start off a bit strong, but most of the chapters probably won't be heavily sexual, at least during the first few chapters. I need to try and test the waters first, right? Enjoy!


This is supposed to be one of the biggest adventures of my life. This is supposed to be new, exciting and adventurous. Right now? I just want to shoot someone. My mom is going on for the thousandth time about how I need to keep in touch constantly or else I'll give her a heart attack (Jewish mothers... gotta love 'em) and all I want to do is to get out and never see them again (until Thanksgiving, anyway). Alas, I'm only going away for orientation and my dad, and only my dad's taking me. My mom can't handle the hills in her old age, apparently. What are the odds of her not coming up with me to school when it's actually time for me to leave? Oh well, enough about me bitching about her. I guess I should be excited, but it's difficult to be excited about anything at 4:00 in the morning and you're looking at a 7 hour car ride ahead of you, but that's what you do to go to one of the best public colleges in New York State. I decide to try and sleep in the car, but that seems impossible. I hate to admit it, but I'm a little excited about this. Okay... maybe incredibly excited but who can blame me? I'm the first one in my family to go away to college. It's a little nerve wracking, I suppose, but more exciting, definitely. I think. I don't know. I hate making decisions. I decide to talk to my dad for a bit. We don't really get to talk much because he's working all the time trying to find a way to put me through school. We actually talk for while, which is surprising considering that we have virtually nothing in common. He's a man's man people would say. I'm... well I'm really not. I look like I should be, 6' flat, built like a brick shit house as my dad put it. He said the football coaches in high school would recruit me right out of the hallway. But I'm far too awkward for that. I'll stick to my pokemon and my trombone, thank you very much. Regardless, he's proud of me I think. He's always saying "Nicholas, you need to work hard, not strong." or "use this, not this" pointing at my head or bicep, making the point that I need to use my brain. I'm going away to do exactly that. We managed to talk most of the car ride away, but I inevitably get bored and start playing pokemon and slowly fade out of the conversation.

By the time 8:00 rolls around, I had apparently fallen asleep and the cool, crisp feeling of mountainous upstate wakes me up. I remember it clearly from when I visited this school in the spring. It was the middle of May, yet the mountains still had this wonderful chill about them that just made you feel alive. Like you finally know what it's like to breathe real, fresh air. Gladly, it's still exactly the same in the middle of summer. Me and my dad stop off at a rest stop and I just enjoy the outside for a bit, glad to be unbounded by a car, but I feel the nerves that I've been holding off the past few months hit me. I feel a tightness in my chest and feel like I'm going to collapse. Fucking panic attacks. I try to breathe and focus on my breath. The simple, in and out motion that, almost beautifully, counters the frenzy that is existing inside of me. Just as I'm starting to calm, my dad tells me we need to get going again. Great. I decide to text Noah, he always makes me feel better.

He's one of the few people that I've told about my panic attacks. I mean, they're self-diagnosed, but they fit the symptoms and the methods people use to get through them are normally effective for me. Anyway, Noah is my boyfriend. We've been dating for about two years now, he's my first boyfriend and I'm his first as well. He's been the major source of my anxiety lately, though. We decided to enjoy the summer together, but then we would break up with me going away to college because we decided that it was best for us to explore and enjoy our youth while we have it. I text him good morning...

Me: Good morning! :)

N: Hey you! :D

Me: How'd you sleep?

N: Fine until you woke me up >.>

Me: Oh. I'll let you sleep then.

N: No! Please don't!

Me: Fine :P

N: How's the trip so far? You're almost there, right?

Me: Kinda... we still have about two hours to go.

N: Oh :/ but it's still exciting that you're going to orientation. Getting to know what college is like, college boy Me: Yeah, except without the classes and lack of parents... But it's basically the same. sorta.n Not at all.

N:Oh shut up! You know what I mean. Jerkface. :P

Me: Yeah, yeah yeah... either way, I'm gonna try and sleep for a bit more. I'm didn't sleep last night so I'm a little dead.

N: Oh, so you wake me up then leave me. Worst boyfriend ever <3

I get to sleep and wake up about 30 minutes outside of the town my college is, where we stopped for another break. Same clean, mountainous air. I manage to avoid another panic attack and I get changed in a Dunkin' Donuts bathroom into something more presentable than gym shorts and a tee shirt. I decided on a green button down with dark jeans. They're both kind of tight, trying to show off my summer work: my muscles from swimming endlessly in my pool. I've become much more toned, some would say lithe and a newly formed v-shape that swimmers get along with newly developed six-pack abs. My jeans show off my legs which have the power to knock off someone's head through 13 years of martial arts training. They also show off my bulge quite nicely. Not so much that you can literally see the outline of it, but enough that people will know that I'm packing something nice. When it's hard, it reaches a tad over 8 inches, with more girth than most guys have in length. Soft, I lose about 2 inches in both directions so I usually have quite a nice bulge going on. I've had a few instances where someone thought I was hard, but was just wearing exceptionally bulge-inducing pants that day

I end up losing myself in thought for the last bit of the ride up, talking to my dad a bit about random questions he had about the school and orientation, just trying to pass the time. I lied when he asked me if I was nervous. I tried to keep the calm facade up so I could get through this painlessly. We finally pull up to the school and I feel the nervousness rush back into me.

"you can do this" I tell myself. I know I'm lying to myself, but it's the best I can do for now.


I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! I think I'm going to start getting into the sexy stuff in a chapter or two. It depends on how lengthy and novelesque I want to get with writing this. Please send comments to theshyguy64@gmail.com. Stay happy and spread love, my friend :)

Next: Chapter 2


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