There are things you tell people and then there are those things you don't. I'd never been a very public person when it came to my emotions or my thoughts. Some would blame this very stubborn self-imposed secrecy law for many of the issues that I'd had in my life but if you looked deeper into my family, you wouldn't have to look very far to see the source of it -- my Father. An often complicated and immensely deep man, I to this day don't know how he really feels about a whole host of things. I remember the day I told him and my Mother that I was gay, I was 17 years old and it did not go down well. In fact, it was the exact polar opposite of "going down well". We didn't speak to each other for years and when we finally did begin speaking again, it emerged that he had known a gay couple when he was a child growing up in Zambia and he had seen what they had had to go through and didn't want that for me -- of course the time he is referring to is the 1940's and 50's in British ruled Zambia what was then Northern Rhodesia. He had not quite figured out that well, time's had changed somewhat...all those lost years, for something so simple. I was something of my Father's child in that sense.
I had been awake for sometime before I felt Juan stirring beside me, I wasn't sure what time it was but it was still quite dark outside, as far as I could see out of a gap in the zipper of the tent. The morning air was cool, though I could already feel some humidity and a chorus of birds was hailing the rising sun. In the distance I could hear muffled voices and some laughter, clearly the camp was beginning to awaken as well.
It was day three in Colombia and today my journey would begin in ernest. Although in essence I was still feeling highly excited and personally thrilled at being so far from home for the first time, I would be lying if I did not admit some form of nervousness. I had had quite a comfortable life in South Africa. My middle class up bringing in the wealthy enclave of Waterkloof in our nations Capital Pretoria, had seen me blessed with some of the best opportunities in education and travel and it's fair to say I was quite spoilt. This was about as far out of my comfort zone as I had ever been...and it felt GREAT! In fact, I had resolved right then to eat with my hands, bathe in rivers and lakes...and...have sex with Juan at every given opportunity, in any location and I gleefully imagined my father's chagrin. Yes, he knew that I was gay but if he knew that I was also embroiled in an all too illicit affair with a 'native'...I giggled softly at the concept and made a mental note to begin taking some photo's and to send these home as soon as possible.
Juan in the meantime had wakened somewhat and put his arm around me and found a resting place for his face in my neck. I arched my back some and pressed into him and was surprised at how fell we 'fit' together. His morning flesh also had risen some and I ground gently against it. He pulled me in closer, purring almost.
"Buenos Dias Amore" his gruff morning voice spoke to me, sending a thrill of goose-flesh down my spine. I smiled "Good morning" I said. "What time is it?" he asked. "I don't know" I replied. I was about to get up and look for my watch but he pulled me closer and held me tighter "No, don't..stay here for a while, we are only leaving at 10:00 and it can not be that time yet" I settled back into our morning embrace. "I could stay here you know" I said to him and could almost "feel" him smiling behind me. He laughed. "Let's to do it Amore. Let's stay here...we will forget the rest of the group and live here. I will hunt for our food and we will dress in only loin cloths and you will keep my camp" I turned to face him and pinched his nipple for teasing me such. My heart arrested as I looked into his face though. With the morning sunlight sneaking into our tent and dancing around his eyes, I was quite unprepared for the magnificence of his eye's....those eye's, those Aztec green eye's. For a moment I wondered what had they all seen. We had not actually gotten into each others lives yet but he had given me a few clues.
An accomplished photographer, a man passionate about his people and conservation...but that was it, that was where it ended. He noticed my extended examination and pulled back slightly, eyebrows expressing his question. "What is it?" He asked somewhat suspiciously. I smiled "I was just thinking about you, that's all". An uncertain smile creeped across his lips. "I hope it was good" He said more then asked. Another aspect of his person that was slowly being revealed to me. He didn't cross me as the type that would "ask" for something...and not get it. I smiled back at him, kissed him deeply and said "oh no lover, nothing good..." I moved forward to kiss him again but he was one step ahead of me and avoided my kiss, choosing rather to take hold of my shoulders and move on top of me in one quick movement, I was pinned beneath him and my flesh began to rise to meet him. My skin pulled tight across my body as he breathed into my face, his long black curly hair falling over his shoulders. He reached back with one hand and brushed it out of his face and then kissed me.
My lips parted to receive to his tongue and it danced in my mouth as an eel. My mouth quit literally began to water, such was my thirst for this man. His ministrations, skilled and purposeful, determined and exquisitely executed. I reached up and had his face in my hands and parted my legs, my morning erection now in full response, he found this new space between us and ground his pelvis into mine so what our lower stomachs touched. I felt his giant member pressing into mine and my need suddenly rose to become urgent...immediate. I wanted this man inside me now...I needed him to be. I needed him to rescue me, to find that part of me that he found the night before, I needed to be brought back to life. Somehow he knew this and instinctively he responded. He ran his hands up and down my body grinding into my pelvis and I reached up and grabbed hold of his back. He teased me thus for a few more moments until I moaned involuntarily...I needed him now, at that very moment. We just connected so well, our bodies melted into each other, like a giant amoeba, we had become one organism and I was never happier to lose myself. I arched my back to receive him and hooked my legs around his waist, he was biting my shoulder and kissing my neck...licking my face and kissing me deeply. "Now Juan, now!" I pleaded.
He moved down to my aching cock and took it gently into his mouth, sucking softly on the head and using his hand to pull my foreskin back, then taking ever more until my pubic mound reached his nose...he inhaled deeply and then moved off. He lifted my legs and moved down in between my arse cheeks...first with his tongue, then with his finger. I rose to meet his invasion and closed down on his finger...ever more he reached into me, one finger then two, then alternating with his tongue. I looked at him and the image of him kneeling before me, taking me in hand, black hair starting to slick with sweat and that look on his face...that look that set my skin on fire! The way he looked at me, like no other had before him as if I were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen...not quite sure that I was there. His perfect torso, sculpted not by a gym or high class facility but by nature, smooth save for dark hair across his lower stomach, leading to his full, thick and now engorged flesh. Low hanging balls, thick black bush that rustled as he handled his manhood, big muscular and dark skinned thighs...I could wait no longer and he knew it.
He lifted my legs again and entered me with no apparent intent to hold back. My eye's filled my face and I gasped, arching my back and holding onto him tightly. He pulled back and thrusted again, hard and willing. He wielded his penis with an almost deadly purpose and I could not have protested even if I wanted to. All I could think of was the line from Romeo and Juliet, "Oh happy dagger, here is thine sheath..." I opened my legs wider and lifted them around his waist again and moved with him. I met his thrusts with a risen intent and his speed became more driven. I had my face buried in his neck and my hands gripped onto his massive shoulders. We were sweating and the sound of our bodies as they connected, combined with his own scent was almost too much for me to bare. I was in such a far away space, I was sure I was about to astrally project.
Suddenly he pulled back and stopped. I Looked up at him surprised. "W..what is it?" I asked. It took a little while for me to fully regain myself and I was left so wanton I thought I may well cry out. A staid look of concern on his face he looked straight at me and said "do not move". "Juan...what is it?" I asked now very worried. He slowly withdrew from me and put his finger up to his mouth in the classic "be quiet" sign.
Now, I was afraid, unsure at what was going on and really quite concerned. In what seemed like a flash, Juan leaped across the tent and reached out to grab at a coral snake that had made it's way into the tent! It had dark red and brown markings across it's body and is quite possibly the most venomous snake in South America! He moved with such speed I was almost unsure of what he'd done but boy did I see it when it happened. He grabbed the snake and in a singular movement had it and himself outside the tent. I jumped up to follow him out to see him running to the nearby jungle foliage and toss the snake into the thickness of it. I screamed after him "be careful baby!" He turned around and threw his hands up in the air as a marathon runner would at the end of a race and I applauded and whistled. He performed a mock "bow" his slick hair moving with him and came back to meet me. My God he looked spectacular in the bright morning sun...tanned, lithe and naked! I ran up to him and threw my arms around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. "That was so fucking hot" I said to him. "I have never wanted you more" and grabbed at his now half erect cock which sprang to life at my touch. He took my face in his hands and kissed me back, deeply. I tasted his tongue and was driven with fresh arousal.
"So, you're a jungle-man hey?" I smiled at him. "Big brave hunting-man" I teased. He blushed and my heart melted at this quite unexpected display of vulnerability. I would not wait to get back to the tent and neither did he! We fell onto the grass and rolled around, the morning dew on the blades actually cooling us down a little. We kissed roughly and with some intent until I again could not handle the void deep in my body he had attempted to fill just moments before. I rolled him over and straddled him, leaning forward to kiss him, I reached back and took his cock in my hand and guided it towards my aching arse...aching but as yet, unfilled. He lifted his waist and grabbed hold of mine as I slid his cock between my cheeks to tease him, his own need would have non of it and as I took his head a little lower towards my open arse, he thrusted and was quite entered within seconds. I came down on him with hard purpose and begin grinding against him, something deep and primeval within me had taken over and felt again, that I was not quite myself...or was it that I was truly myself for the first time? This conservative, spoilt somewhat precious man from conservative South Africa was here, in the early morning sun, in a jungle clearing in South America, riding a jungle cat of a man like 2012 had arrived early! So lost in pleasure and the euphoria of the moment was I, that I had not even felt him working my dick as I rode him and my pleasure had begun to mount. I felt him thicken inside me and I drove down faster and harder. My breathing became sharp and loud and Juan himself was moaning beneath me, that deep almost purr like noise of before had been replaced with a grunt and his face was contorted and almost pained, he needed this much as I did and our synergy made me wild with lust. I felt the pressure at the base of spine increase and my grinding slowed some but drove down with greater purpose and seconds later I was shooting out 6 or 7 streams of hot, thick sperm. It landed on his chest and face but he did nothing to remove it, rather the sight of it seemed to ignite him further and with me still in the throws (quite literally) of orgasm, he thrust impossibly high into me and in the same movement, thew me on the ground, pushed my legs up over his shoulders and thrust his way home, to his own screaming, massive orgasm. I felt him shoot streams of his Aztec seed into me and was filled to near bursting. I held tightly onto his shoulders as he collapsed on top of me and we both needed some minutes to fully regain consciousness. It was many minutes later that he finally withdrew from me and stood up, taking me with him. He wiped the sweat off my face and kissed me. There was absolutely nothing we could say to each other. He took my hand and we walked back to our tent and cleaned up some.
A quick glance at my watch revealed it to be 08:30 and we had to make it back to main camp and meet the others. We dressed, collected our things and packed up Juan's tent. The drenched blanket found it's way into a plastic bag after we squeezed out some of the water and we began our journey back. I held onto him tightly as we walked, knowing it may well be a while before we could do anything similar to this again. I grabbed his bum playfully and said "don't think you're off the hook mister, as soon as the opportunity is available, you're mine!" and he laughed and held me a little tighter.
Approaching the camp, I was laughing at something funny he said and walked straight into a "welcoming committee". Our compatriots were all seated around the morning camp fire drinking coffee and eating breakfast. Aicha was the first to greet us. "Bon Jour" she said a little sarcastically. Erich and Esteban followed, Amy smiled a fake greeting and Juan excused himself to go attend to some official business. I nonchalantly walked up to the table that had been laid with coffee and toast. Erich followed, poured himself some coffee then said "how about that rain storm last night 'eh?". I looked up at him and he was smiling at me somewhat suspiciously. I blushed and smiled back an answer. "Ja, pretty hectic but spectacular at the same time". "Did you sleep ok?" I asked. "Not nearly as good as you" he launched back at me. I blushed again and almost thought he maybe hostile but when I looked up at him he was smiling and traded a wink with me. I felt better. We both turned to face the group and walked back to the chairs set out around the fire. We all turned our attention to Amy who had taken a spot on a mound of sand to make herself a little higher then the rest of us and I had to stifle a giggle as Erich mumbled a soft "really?" under his breath.
"Ok people listen up" she addressed us with a raised voice, why I could not really understand given that there were all of four of us at the camp but anyway. "This is how it's going to happen, Erich, Peter and I will take one truck with some of the supplies with a driver and Esteban, Aicha and Juan will take the second" She stared right at me as she said his name and gave me what I thought was a bitchy smile. She was clearly entering into some sort of contest with me and I made a private pact right there that she would not be victor. "We'll be leaving in 30 minutes, get your shit packed up and we'll meet here for a quick pre-trip briefing, there is some security stuff we need to go through. It's going to be a long journey so let's get moving y'all". Erich and I looked at each other and in unison said "y'all?" "You've got to be kidding me" Erich said softly and I giggled for the second time that morning at him. I was beginning to like Erich somewhat.
I turned and made my way back to my currently unused tent and began packing up. Just then, I heard raised voices from not too far way. I looked out towards the main office building of the camp where we had registered the day before and saw Juan talking animatedly with an official looking woman. The way they seemed to relate to each other didn't seem like they were strangers. She was beautiful, with long untied black hair, olive skin and long limbs. She was wearing a white shirt and blue jeans with boots. They were speaking in fast Spanish (is their any other?) and he looked really upset. He grabbed a file out of her hands and turned away and started walking back to camp in hurried steps. Muttering in Spanish all the way. She looked after him, shook her head, threw her hands up in resignation and turned back into the office but not before she cast me a quick glance, smiled then turned away. Odd, I thought, I would ask him about it later.
Juan came flying past me and went straight to Amy. He grabbed her by her elbow causing her to yell "hey!" and they went behind the nearby shower's to chat. I would ask him about it later, as of now, I had to finish packing.
We each made our way to our respective trucks, loaded up our baggage and a few other supplies that would be coming with. I looked around for Juan and saw him coming towards me. "Is everything ok?" I asked him. "You seemed a little stressed before." He smiled at me. "It's nothing for you to worry about Peter, just some...administrative issues. The mission director and I have a difference of opinion when it comes to the management of the program. That's all". He gave me a quick hug. "I'm going to miss you on the ride" I said. He laughed. "You know, strangely enough, so will I" he said to me. A quick ruffle of my hair and I turned to join my team. I climbed into the truck and was pleased to find that I'd be sitting next to Erich. Amy would sit up front next to the driver. A Colombian man of Indian descent named "Trumak" he told us later that he was from an Amazonian tribe that lived deep in the jungle but that because of the ever continual intrusion of logging companies as well as the cocaine cartels, that his tribe were virtually extinct, save for a few small villages in the jungle.
The trucks started up and all around us, trucks started driving out of the camp and headed out on the main road in varying directions. Some would be coming with us to our location, others towards the North. We would be going to "Puerto Asiss" to the very South West, on the border with Ecuador and Peru. The area has long been embroiled in conflict and produces around 70% of the worlds cocaine. It is also desperately poor and impoverished. We made our way out of the camp and began our 10 hour journey. I missed Juan already but had comfortable and humorous conversation with Erich. He spoke about his upbringing in the Outback of Australia with such irreverence that he had as all howling with laughter in no time. Amy had a few conversations on her satellite phone with program management and each time she insisted on raising her voice substantially causing a near riot of muffled laughter between Erich and I.
Within a couple of hours we had left the main road and were headed into the jungle. I busied myself with keeping a diary and listening to music on my I-pod. A few times I managed a quick photograph of the passing scenery. The deeper in we travelled the more amazing the scene unfolded around us. The brilliant sunshine streamed through thick jungle foliage making the green of the trees and jungle bush especially pronounced. All around us, monkey's and brilliantly coloured birds populated the area alongside a great many varying creatures. Local jungle village folk walked alongside the road, some with sticks and firewood on their backs, others with food and parcels. Every so often, an enterprising individual had setup roadside stalls selling food and small packets of sweets. It was hot though. It must have been 35 degrees in the jungle and with humidity that made everything seem "thick" and "close". I was sweating quite a bit.
I had fallen asleep at some stage and woke as we came to a stop. We'd been traveling for 5 hours and were stopping for lunch and a quick re-fresh. As soon as the truck stopped I jumped out and went into the nearby push for a quick pee. I'd been holding it in since forever and was near bursting point. I unzipped my jeans and took out my cock and released a stream of urine into the nearby bush. I heard a stirring behind and I turned. It was Juan, he smiled at me. "Hey" I said. "Hey back" he replied. He came and stood next to me, apparently he was just as needy as I was. I glanced down at his penis and sighed. He looked at me and smiled. We finished, zipped up and returned to the rest of our camp.
Trumak and the other driver had laid out a small table with some sandwiches and coffee. I poured a cup and sighed contentedly. The coffee was dark and strong, I liked it. I asked how much longer it was to Puerto Assis and it was Amy who answered me. "Uh, it's about another 5 or 6 hours if we can keep up this pace but we may have to camp out in the jungle tonight, I have had word that some local flooding has covered the bridge we're meant to cross. It has stopped raining up river though, so the water should be low enough for us to cross first thing in the morning". I didn't exactly mind this news too much. Minutes later, we had all packed up and were climbing in our trucks again. Juan approached me and whispered in my ear "I'll be hard for you until we get to camp". He squeezed my arse lightly and turned to join his group. I blushed a little and laughed, climbed up into my truck and closed the door. I looked out the window and saw him smiling at me, those brilliant white teeth and death defying eyes leaving me wanton. The truck pulled away.
The next phase of the journey, passed by comfortably enough, Erich and I swapped stories of our childhood's and even Amy ventured the odd contribution. She really is the most asinine person, I mumbled to myself. By the time we arrived at the crossing point, it was clear that we'd be spending the night. The river had risen substantially and short of an ark, we were going nowhere for the night. We pulled off the main road and hugged the shoreline to an open clearing about 500 metres off the main road. I got out the truck and looked around and immediately had to catch my breath. The sheer beauty of this place was absolutely spellbinding. The river, now in full flow, flowed past us on the shoreline and our camp was about 100 metres from it's edge. All around us the forest was dense and thick and seemed to contain a slight "mist" everywhere making it almost mystical. On the other side of the river, the jungle seemed to thicken some and there were mountains in the background, also densely covered. We quickly set-up camp, got a fire going and drew straws on who'd be making supper. To my absolute delight, it was Amy and Aicha who'd do the honours. I was in no mood for cooking -- I wanted to get out and explore our surroundings before the last light faded. I sought out Juan who was busy with his GPS planning a route forward and chatting with Trumak who knew the area well. He looked up at me and smiled as I approached and I asked him if he wanted to join me on a little walk around. "I would love to Peter but I cannot just yet" he signaled towards Trumak and the maps in front of him. "It's ok" I replied, "I understand" and turned away, sneaking him a sly wink.
Erich had heard me asking and suggested he come along, "yeah sure" I replied, grateful for some company. I turned to see if Esteban would be interested but he had been roped into helping the girls with the cooking. Seems Aicha had made quick work with him!
Juan shouted after us "just be careful and do not venture out too far, the light fades quickly in the forest". I smiled back at him. Erich and I made our way into the nearby jungle foliage and looked around. I felt almost 'Indiana Jones' like of late, this place really was quite extraordinary. Thousand year old trees rose to what seemed like a 100 metres into the sky, with thick branches and leaves all but drowning out the sun, save for a few beams that made it through the overhang. A million creatures seemed to populate this place and the noise of the jungle, once our ears had adjusted was really quite impressive. Birds, bugs, monkeys and who knows what else, all jostled for life in this near mythical place. It was Erich who spoke first. "It's quite something isn't it? " "The jungle" he added for no reason. "Yes, yes it is" I replied. "Do you have anything like this at home?" He asked me. "Well if we did, I would not know. I live in Johannesburg and well, never really thought of myself a bush person much." I replied guiltily. I cursed myself for not having spent more time with my brothers at my Father's ancestral farm house in the province of Mpumalanga. A vast north eastern area of South Africa home to the Kruger National Park and a man made forest, grown by the paper milling company, Sappi. I was only too happy to put distance between my Father and I, so often declined invitations to go.
We explored around a bit more and without noticing it, were walking quite deeply into the forest, it was Juan's voice that roused as. "Hey guys! Guys...where are you? It's time for dinner" we both turned and made our way back in the direction his voice had come from. "The forest is no place to get lost in" Juan said to us and I was sure I detected some irritation. "A little further and you would have been just that". He was right. I realised that in fact, the further on you head out into the forest, the more it all begins to look the same and with no tracking experience to speak of, we'd have been lost for sure! Erich must've come to the same understanding as he looked at me and raised his eye's, letting out a soft whistle. He headed out in front of us back to the camp and I ventured a soft "thank God my jungle-man was man to rescue me". But he was not impressed. "Peter, where you are going you will need to be careful. You do not know this place and in seconds everything around you can change. The jungle does not only have monkey's and birds. There are Jaguar's and worse, guerillas hiding in their and they will not take kindly to a "gringo" in their territory". Not for the first time I had a sense of foreboding about my one year adventure in the jungle.
"You are right" I said, "I'm sorry". He stopped walking and took my face in his hands and kissed me. "If anything happened to you...." This was the first time he had displayed anything resembling real affection towards me and I thought my heart my burst. So overwhelmed was I that I could not speak. He lead me back to the camp where a fire was roaring, fresh coffee was brewing and a comfortable and excited group were waiting. Erich handed me some coffee, Juan went to the truck to retrieve his back pack and then walked out to his tent.
We ate beans and chilli beef with rice and drank some wine that Aicha had brought with her. " Le meilleur de la France! She toasted and we all raised a glass. She was nothing if not patriotic. The evening passed pleasantly enough but as the wind picked up, Amy suggested we all get packed up in our tents, she was sure it would rain. Juan put more wood on the fire, I helped Trumak pack away the food and Erich and Esteban help load it all back onto the trucks while Aicha and Amy supervised. We all had a giggle and said good night. I went to my tent, got undressed and climbed under my blanket. I wondered how long Juan would wait before he joined me. Would he even come? He seemed genuinely upset at me before and perhaps he was having second doubts. He'd hardly spoken to me at dinner. I need not have worried though as a few minutes later he came into the tent, also got undressed and climbed in next to me. I turned to face him and put my leg in between his. He put his arms around me and pulled me in close.
"This is not easy for me Peter" he said. "Sounds ominous" I replied. I pulled back slightly and looked at him. He was genuinely worried and I got that horrible, sick feeling in my stomach, like before a Rugby game, or a speech at university. "What is it?" "Juan?". "I will not be going to the main camp with you at Esperanza" "Well, not yet anyway". I instantly felt sicker. I know it had only been a few days but this was not like one of the mindless fucks I'd had up until this point. This was something else. Juan had, in this past week, brought me to life -- and was now returning me to the void of a life I'd known before and it was devastating.
"Wh...what do you mean?" I caught myself. "I have been contacted by the program management and I am needed in Santa Marta to help set-up a school" "Santa Marta?" I cried. "But...that's a thousand miles away!" I immediately heard the whine in my voice and could have kicked myself for it. Here I was lamenting over being separated from a man I'd known for barely a week when this was his life, this is what Juan did. And then it hit me. What did he do? I couldn't believe it but I'd never actually asked him. I felt awful. Up until now, he was the guy who met me at Bogota airport. He must've noticed something in me because he hugged me again, then asked "hey...what is it?". I could not even look at him such was my shame. "Juan, I am so sorry. I hadn't even though of what I said and now I'm embarrassed but...well, what DO you do?" He started laughing at me. "...and now I feel stupid" I said and pulled away from him. "No, no, don't pull away from me...Peter, I didn't mean it like that...I'm sorry" well I felt even worse after that! Now I was making HIM feel bad for my insecurity! "Arrrggg! This is going all wrong!" I said to him. "Wait, let's start again, what are you going to do?" I asked Juan. "Firstly, I was laughing at you because I thought it was sweet how you tried to back paddle" I pinched his nipple. "Ow! Secondly, we never had the time to ask each other anything so you are upset for nothing. Listen, it's not as bad as you think. I won't be gone forever it will be a couple of weeks at most and then I will be back. I have work to do here...and now, I have you also" That last part re-ignited the fire within me. For him to have included me in his future planning, did not go unnoticed. I still felt really bad about my earlier attitude though. He pulled me back towards him and he kissed me. "Besides" he said, you are going to be so busy getting settled and starting up with your classes, you will not even notice I am gone." "Impossible" I replied "you have made it impossible for me to think about anything or anyone else!" "Show me" he answered me back, in a clear challenge.
I reached down towards his penis and found it alive already under my touch. I was stroking him and staring into those deep eyes of his and he moaned slightly. I released his cock, brought my hand up to my mouth and licked before returning it back to his penis. "hmmmmmm" he moaned again. "See, this is what I want to come back to, you are what I want to come back to" that was all the further encouragement I needed. I kissed him then moved down the front of his body, all the while masturbating him with my one hand, pinching, stroking and caressing his body with the other. In this light, his skin looked like burned caramel and in the confines of the tent, his scent was ever more pronounced. He was stroking my back as I made my way down to his manhood with my mouth. I gently kissed his head which had started dripping with clear, sticky pre-cum and slowly took the length of him into me. I didn't stop until I had him at the back of my throat -- I was determined that he would remember this! Whoever he would meet along the way to Santa Marta or back, would not leave him as satiated as I would. I was not pretentious enough to assume that he would not take pleasures in these two weeks, men or women, surely this was a man that needed both. I would let them keep his blade sharpened then but on his return, I would be it's sheath. He grabbed my head and began fucking my face, moaning and sighing in between, the heat of the tent had become almost unbearable and this lead to us both sweating and quite breathless. It all added to the moment though and I could sense that he was close...but I would not let him go over. Not right now, it would be many hours tonight before I let that happen. I came back up to him and smiled when I saw the bemused look on his face. "It will happen" I assured him "make no mistake, it will happen" It registered on his face and he smiled, he came forward and kissed me, savouring his own taste. Our tongues, like eels met each other and then wrestled, our kissing became so passionate and hard it was a contest for dominance within itself. Juan began to move ontop of me but I would not surrender his mouth he pushed me down onto the pillows and I reached up over his shoulders, still kissing, still hanging on. My hands ran down his back and I scratched down hard and deep, this caused him to leave my mouth and arch his back moaning. He looked down deep into my eyes and for a moment I thought I may have gone to far, not quite anger, not quite bliss. That was the expression on his face. My hands moved lower onto his muscular arse and my finger traced the space between. He stiffened somewhat, then ground into my pelvis, my own manhood in risen perfection greeting his with a wanton, lust fueled demand. I opened my legs and he reached over and grabbed a pillow and lifted up my waist, placing the pillow beneath me...he wanted to go deep and I grabbed hold of the blanket's to steel myself. He licked his finger and then inserted it into my arse and I clamped down hard in a show of strength. "Relax amore" he breathed. "I want you inside me Juan. I want you inside me in now and without holding back" he nodded that he understood. Seconds later, the thunder roared up above and he entered me in one hard and complete movement. I cried out as he brushed over my prostate with established intent and for a moment, held still. "Juan...Juan, please...I...I..." cried out, thankfully my noise drowned out by that of the thunder. "No Peter, I want to see you like this. I want to remember this forever, let me have this image" he almost shouted at me. I looked up at him and my heart near burst. The image of this lithe jungle cat above me, golden and exquisite with his back arched above me, inside of me, hard and thick, wanton and intended I will remember forever. Then, when I could take it no more...he moved in me, withdrawing and re-entering, alternating rough thrusts, with kinder gentler movements, grinding his waist into mine. He gradually built up speed and with each new brush past my prostate, my pressure increased and my euphoria followed. It felt as if Juan was fucking the very depth of my soul and I was ill prepared for this assault on my senses. My head thrashed from side to side and I was moaning from a place deep within me. Juan had no mercy and continued, over and over, entering me, withdrawing, entering then grinding. The heat, the sex, the scent, the noise, I was close, very close and I could tell that he was too but as earth shatteringly good as this was, I was still not prepared for it to be over. With a mammoth effort I pulled myself back and reached down and grabbed the base of his cock hard. He was not expecting this and he pulled out. "What the hell was that?" he asked, angrily. "I immediately pushed him off of me and mounted him and in a quick and fluid movement, had him inside me again. He wasn't even sure about what had just happened but the smile that now spread across his face told me he was happy with this new direction. I moved up and down on his cock, bigger movements, then smaller. Alternating in a different version to what he had done prior. Such was the ferocity of his thrusting as he rose to meet my grinding, that I could feel his balls hitting the upper parts of arse.
He lifted up his arms and took my hands in his pushing up hard, I used this new leverage to drive down even harder and rise even slower. Soon, our fucking was a rhythmic drum call that rose and fell as the mountains and valley's of this country did. The grinding was as erratic and primitive as the rivers and yet our breathing...our breathing was in perfect timing with each others. The imagery of our union conjured up visions of ancient tribes and bonfire's, of dancing and worshipping the Gods, of being connected to this earth and to this man in a way that only spiritual beings could understand or even contemplate. My motion slowed now, I needed to bring it back down a notch. I still wanted more, I still would not have him satiated yet and he sensed it also. This was more then just sex. This was sealing the union between our bodies and our spirits. He sat up and kissed me and I extended my legs in front of me so that I was now sitting on him in such a way that he could throw his fuck up into me. I rose as he rose and I descended on him as he did. This was a new connection now, less desperate, more ordered but no less magnificent. I held onto his shoulders, the heat and humidity in the tent now at unbearable levels. Moaning, groaning, grunting and breathing. I thanked the Gods for the thunder and not for the first time.
His fucking gained momentum and we again started making our way back to "that" place. This time, I would have not strength enough to stop him..nor myself and it was I who got their first. "I'm going to...." he kissed me and held me tight, I clung onto him for dear life and then...then it happened. I went over the edge, my head flinging back and my legs going rigid. I came so hard my entire body began shaking and I was sure that I had passed out for a second. Juan didn't stop, he threw his fuck up into me even harder...then held it there while I came. A deep, earthy, guttural moan escaped from lips as if I had birthed a new being into existence. But I had birthed no babe, this man had in a sense, birthed me, from within. As I came to, Juan lurched forward throwing me onto my back and I saw for the first time the near dam of sperm on both our chests, I had never ejaculated that much in all my life. It was impressive and I was aware for the first time ever, of my own manly scent. Juan's nostrils flared and he breathed deeply this new discovery. I parted my legs and lifted my pelvis and began fucking me for the final time. It' didn't take too long and too was there, I looked deeply at him and he came down on me one last time and then shook as if ice cold before I felt his wetness explode inside of me. He bit down on my shoulder and grabbed great big handfuls of my flesh while he delivered his load a great big stream of it and I was lost for the umpteenth time since meeting him. He collapsed on top of me and we just lay there for a few minutes finding ourselves again. I finally felt him go limp inside me and withdrew. But I was not ready to be far from him, I still need him close but I had also started crying, something I had not done since childhood. Soft, shy muffled sobs left my body and I was shaking. I turned around and faced the wall of the tent, hoping he would not see but he did. He immediately wrapped his arms around me, lifting his legs over mine so that I was completely enveloped by him. "No llores mi amor, por favor no llores" he whispered in my ear. But I could not stop the tears. They flowed freely and I clung onto his arm around my neck.
A few minutes passed with us just lying like that, though it could have been years. I was in deep trouble here. I'm not sure when it happened but I fell asleep, content yet troubled.
Juan woke me the next morning before the sun had risen and we made love again. Quickly but with vigour, it was the tenderness I was looking for after the night before and whilst I was reassured and comforted, I was saddened at the same time.
"Peter, I want you to know that I am coming back and I am coming back to you. There is no one else, there could be no one else" It was just what I needed to hear from him, still I was no fool. A man such as this would never be satisfied eating at one table and I certainly didn't feel that mine was ample enough for him, I was not enough of a person for him and it killed me. "You are going to be gone for at least two weeks. I am no fool Juan" He looked puzzled. "All I ask is that you do come back to me and when you do, you come back to ME" "No, Peter...you don't under....." but I would not let him finish. I kissed him and smiled at him. An idiot move because judging by the look on his face he felt patronised and I scorned at myself again. "We need to get cleaned up" I said and the hurt look on his face withered something inside of me. I wasn't sure what or why.
We got dressed in the tent, then took a few tentative steps outside to check on the camp. It appeared everyone was still sleeping but the storm from the night before had left it's mark. Big branches and masses of leaves where everywhere -- how the tents where undamaged was a mystery. We walked down to the river and washed our faces. After a quick look around, I undressed and was bout to walk waist deep into the river when Juan stopped me. "be careful of the Candiru fish" he laughed at me. I was feeling a little fragile so was not up for this teasing. "The what?" I asked sarcastically. Juan laughed and came for me. "It is a fish that swims up your cock. Must be surgically removed and will likely leave your penis useless" he said as-matter-of-fact. "Why didn't yo start with that?" I asked and hurriedly walked to shallower water laughing. We played around in the water for a bit, getting cleaned up and with one final kiss, turned and made our way back to the camp. We dressed and and started a fire and the rest of our crew slowly came to life around us as well. Juan put on coffee and Esteban, Erich and I prepared breakfast. Eggs, toast, some bacon. It smelled good! Though I was making conversation with the group and laughed at one of Erich's goofy jokes, I became ever more aware of time slipping away from me and it hurt like hell. I went to pack up my tent and Aicha came after me.
"Hey" she started, "are you ok chéri?" she asked. I could feel my eye's welling up again, so swallowing down hard I looked at her and nodded my head. Not quite trusting my voice just yet. "You know, you can talk to me, it's ok -- I understand" She gave me a knowing look and opened her arms to me, I responded and accepted her hug. Though not an overly emotional person, I needed that. "Thank you" I said pulling back, not wanting to cause too much of a scene. I looked around but no one seemed to notice. "Juan is leaving" I said. "Yes, I know" she replied. I cast her a curious look. "I heard him on the satellite phone yesterday, he was speaking to the woman he had a fight with at main camp the other day". He had known all along, I wondered? Why didn't he tell me? Why did he keep this from me? "I, I don't understand" I said stupidly. "He asked her if plans could be changed, if someone else could go but she said no" Aicha looked really sad for me. "He tried very hard to stay Peter" she offered and I was grateful for it. "Thank you" I said again, she smiled at me returned to the camp. I finished packing and was helping load up the truck when Juan came to me. I asked him about what Aicha had said and he said it was true. He said he wanted to tell me but he also wanted to be sure about what he was feeling. If it was not what he thought it was, then there would be no harm done anyway.
"So then I guess this is it?" I said to him. Everyone started getting into the trucks. "For now" He said. "I'll travel with the group to Puerto Assis and then make my way back from there. Santa Marta is up on the coast on the Caribbean sea. A few hours from the Netherlands Antilles and Panama" he said. "I have a map" I fired back at him, then smiled. He kissed me quickly, before anyone could see and left me with one of those smiles. The river had fallen enough for us to cross on the bridge and an hour later we were there at Puerto Assis. We would now take a "fast" boat up to Puerto Leguizamo a 5 hour long journey which I would now be doing without him.
Puerto Assis was on the west bank of the river and all around us was a hustle and bustle of port life. Boats travelled in either direction of the river and I wondered why we had to wait over night up stream, if there was not another place we could have crossed. Then I realised. This was the Amazon river. You cross, where you cross. Ferries delivered people and cargo and a in the market vendors jostled with buyers and an overriding air of excitement engulfed me. I once again started feeling the sense of adventure I had when I first left Johannesburg. "This is the last sign of "civilsation" for a while folks" Amy yelled at us. "If y'all need anything that remotely resembles anything y'all are used to, this is the place to get it, y'all got an hour before we leave" Erich was almost blue in the face from laughter suppression so I suggested hit the market together. Juan approached me. "It is time Peter, I am heading off now" I quickly ran up to the truck that would take him away from me and saw him off. "Do not forget me" He said to me. "As if" was about all I could manage. He smiled, kissed me quickly and climbed up into the front seat of the truck. It started, then drove away and just like that, the void inside me threatened to overcome me completely. Erich roused me from my despair. "Hey, Peter -- market?" I looked at him and smiled an agreement.
The market place was something else! Dried fish and other foods wrestled for space next to cheap Chinese clothing and basic electronics. I bought a small radio, some mosquito repellant and some writing paper and a journal. A few post cards for home and a few chocolate bars. "Might as well" I thought to myself. I took a few photographs and before I knew it, we had boarded a river ferry (in a not much better state then the ones' I had witnessed before) and we were off. Juan in one direction, I in another. Still, I was really excited. The ferry was really basic, with a inside sitting area which was virtually empty and an outside deck area where everyone was walking around or sitting down or just staring across the river. A few locals where on the Ferry with us and I asked if I could take some photo's. Indians in colorful dress, kids with wide smiles and curious eyes. The women delighted in my blonde hair and asked if they could touch it, Erich suffered a similar fate. They laughed at my broken Spanish and shared some bananas with us. To the end of the ferry I noticed an old Indian woman sitting by herself but watching me intently, I smiled at her but her expression never changed. She was dressed with brightly coloured cloth around her and her once jet black hair was now peppered with grey and tightly pulled back into a bun over her old and noble head. I turned towards one of the woman I'd been talking to before and asked her who she was, thank God for Esteban! She is a "chamán" Esteban said. A shaman of her tribe. I asked him if we could speak to her and he agreed, Aicha came too, as did one of the local woman. "To introduce us" Esteban said.
But as soon as we got up closer to her, she began looking distressed and moved back a little further. She was looking straight at me and would not move her gaze. One of the local women who had come with us spoke to her in Spanish and Introduced Esteban who attempted to introduce each of us. She warily greeted everyone else but would have nothing to do with me. All the others got to ask her questions and and she seemed happy to indulge them -- but not me. She was having none of it, whenever I asked something or attempted to, she simply turned away. This caught the attention of a local woman who, through Esteban tried to explain it to me. "When a chamán behaves this way, it's because they do not want to be the bearer of bad news" she said. "Oh great" I heard Erich in the background. "What bad news?" I asked but got no reply. "What does that mean?" I asked again. But the old woman was resolute, she would tell me nothing. "Crazy old bat" I mumbled and turned to leave. As I did that, she grabbed my elbow causing me to start. " Un hombre con el sol en la cabeza viene a su pueblo. Esté al tanto de este hombre, él trae esta tristeza con um." she wailed at me and everyone stopped and turned to her. A few women crossed themselves in the Catholic way. "ummmmmm.......ok" I said waiting for Esteban to translate for me. Esteban had not caught all of it and asked her what it meant, to repeat it. "Un hombre con el sol en la cabeza viene a su pueblo. Esté al tanto de este hombre, él trae esta tristeza con um...y no va a salir de la aldea hasta que haya sido asesinado." "What does that mean? I don't understand" I screamed at her "Yo no.....hable..." I tried to think of how to say I don't speak Spanish...in Spanish. Esteban came up to me and lead me away. "Just ignore her" he said, "she's just a crazy old woman". "What the fuck did she say Esteban?" "i wan't to know" I demanded. "Some stupid thing about a man with the sun on his head bringing great sadness to the village and that he won't be happy until that sadness has been killed". "Never mind her" he said again. "Come, I've got some whiskey in my bag, let's have a drink" He lead me away form her but I kept turning to look at her, she stared at me still, her gauze every fixed and unwavering.
We sat up front on the ferry, traveling deep into the jungle down the mighty Amazon river, drinking Esteban's whiskey and taking in the amazing scene around us. As the sun went down, we all took out our cameras and took photo's of each other. The whiskey clearly had an effect because by the time the ferry had stopped and we disembarked, I had all but forgotten about the old woman. Who I had not forgotten about however, was Juan. It had all happened so fast, I almost wondered if it had happened at all. We lugged our stuff off the ferry, in very high spirits and regrouped on the river bank waiting for our next instruction. If nothing else, Colombia was proving to be very interesting indeed. Trucks would collect us and take us deeper into the jungle, to the village of Esperanza which was to be our home for the next year. I hoped it would be soon, it was already getting dark, we stood around waiting or the trucks watching the sun go down over the river and though I was excited and could never ever remember being so happy, I was desperately lonely inside and it was all Juan's fault.
(Thanks for reading, as always please mail me. peterjohnjnb@gmail.com, or add me on facebook. www.facebook.com/peterjohnjnb)