Interlude
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Chapter 03 - Nationalquai
"when can I see you again johan?"
"Erik, hi! That was hot but I told you, it can't happen again."
"switch to facetime?"
"It would be weird for my husband to hear me talking with you. Let's stick to texting."
"go for a walk! what would he hear, anyway?"
"Erik, I can't."
"worried your husband will hear how good it felt when I forced you against the wall and bred you twice?"
"Something like that."
"you old men are supposed to be gay role-models, but you're just like guys my age"
"How so?"
"one fuck and then...radio silence"
"I was honest with you about my husband."
"your romeo profile says open relationship"
"You looked for me online?"
"not specifically, but there are what, 7 openly gay men in this canton? most romeo and grindr profiles are blank. you have a face pic."
"I'm not going back to that public washroom. It's disgusting."
"fuck! you guys really are all alike!"
"What did I say?"
"i asked to see you again not just to fuck you again"
"I see."
"you probably have some other dumb rule with your husband, no second dates, no kissing..."
"Just no barebacking."
"whatever! tomorrow at 19:00 i'm going to take a walk along the nationalquai. tivoli am see is open late. come after work if you want."
"Erik has notifications silenced" lit up at the bottom of the chat.
"You seem distracted today."
"I'm sorry. It has been a tiring week."
"Go home and get some rest, then. You're doing great. See you tomorrow at stand-up!"
Johan was relieved when the weekly one-on-one meeting with his boss was over. Normally he worked from home on Thursdays. On Zoom, it was easier to conceal his feelings, whether excitement, or frustration, or, on a day like today, distraction. On the other hand, his boss was impressed when he ran into Johan on an optional in-office day.
Johan wasn't sure he'd stay in Lucerne this evening. He had been vacillating since he woke up. Every time he allowed himself to remember being pinned against the wall by Johan, he got hard, his dick straining the fabric of his khaki pants. He was leaking precum and had to check for a wet spot. In case he did decide to see Erik, he had chosen an older pair of pants, a bit tight on him these days.
Finally, Johan texted his husband that he was meeting a friend and wouldn't be home till late. It was mostly true. He savored the sun as he walked across Lucerne. Instead of taking the insipid concrete Seebrücke, he took the historic wooden Kappelbrücke to reach the other side of the lake. He smoothed his wavy hair and popped a breath mint before turning right, onto the Quai.
Erik found an empty bench at the bandshell. He had dressed up: nubuck shoes, nice pants and a button-down shirt. He favored sneakers, shorts and a T-shirt, but he got the impression that Johan was a professional type, a bit up-tight. Truth be told, Erik didn't own many button-down shirts. This was his best, his "date shirt".
He had no idea whether Johan would show up. If not, he'd still enjoy watching the sun set as he downed a cold beer on the patio at Tivoli am See, an outdoor bar along the waterfront promenade. If Lucerne was a dull city, at least it was a pretty one. The view of Mount Pilatus almost made up for the lack of nightlife and the shortage of single, openly gay men.
What the fuck was he doing wasting time on Johan, anyway? The guy had a great ass and liked to kiss, but at 41, he was twice Erik's age. And married. At least it was to a guy, and their marriage was open.
Thanks to his muscles and his dick, Erik could fuck almost any gay man he wanted, and a few "straight" ones as well. He wanted a relationship, which wasn't so easy to find in Lucerne. In two years, when he finished his structural steel welding apprenticeship, he would move to Geneva. There was a gay scene there.
The two men spotted each other across a line of tourists walking the Quai. Once the tour group had filtered past, Johan crossed over to the bandshell. Erik stood up, pulled him in for a hug, and kissed him.
Johan's eyes darted nervously from side to side.
"I don't care if people see. It's 2024!"
"Mostly I don't care either, but I don't want straight colleagues or friends to see," Johan stammered.
"Why the fuck not? They don't know about your husband?"
"Yeah, they do. Some even came to our wedding. But they don't know we're open. They would think I was cheating."
"Wow. All alike! Not a role-model at all!"
"You don't worry that your friends will see you with an older man?"
"I would tell them to fuck off if they gave me shit for it. To be honest, I've thought of you a lot over the past two weeks."
"Erik, that's sweet but..."
"...I know, nothing can happen because of your husband."
"Yeah."
"But does he still kiss you like this?" Erik smiled, a sincere smile, not the smirk from the day they met. He drew Johan in for another kiss. This one was deep and insistent, like the kiss they'd shared while fucking two weeks ago.
"Erik, one rule I want to make is, no competition with my husband. I love him and that is not up for debate."
Erik kissed Johan again. He put one hand on Johan's face and the other on his ass. Johan forgot about the people around them for a moment. He allowed his hands to roam across Erik's back. He could feel the muscles under Erik's shirt. Breaking their kiss, Erik took Johan's hand and suggested they start walking.
Last call at Tivoli had come and gone. The lanterns were being put out and the staff were cleaning up.
Erik and Johan had talked about so much.
Johan was reassured by Erik's depth. He wasn't a real-life version of the absurd 'sensitive jock' character in gay romcoms. His depth came from dedication to family (mom, step-dad, younger brother), from his trade (he had a reputation in his class for perfect welds), and from sincerity (he said what he felt).
Erik was curious about Johan. He had asked about the man's childhood, about his passions, and about his dreams. They held hands several times.
"How will you get home, Erik?" Johan hinted that their evening together was coming to an end.
"I'll just walk. I live nearby, in the Zürichstrasse neighborhood. And you'll take the train?"
"Yes."
"Is your husband home?"
"Yes. Why?"
Erik took Johan's hand and placed it on his erection. He had asked Johan for a date instead of another fuck. Now, how could he convince Johan to take his dick again, without leaving the impression that that was all he really wanted?
Johan faced the opposite problem. How could he get Erik's cock inside him again, without leaving the impression that he wanted a relationship? He was happy at home and some casual fun would just reinforce that. Casual fun, in the form of another hard, rough fuck that made Johan feel like a slut. Casual fun, as in home tonight with two or maybe three loads leaking from his hole.
"Can we go to your place?"
"I have a roommate. She'll be home by now."
"Erik," Johan sighed. "I thought you were big on being totally authentic, totally out! She doesn't know you like guys?"
"No, silly, I just don't want to wake her. I seem to remember that you were a moaner."
"I should head to the Hauptbahnhof." Now Johan felt he was being made fun of.
"What time is your last train?"
"23:30"
"Figures. Cinderella, in bed in her suburban cottage by midnight! At least we still have two hours. Let's go the other way."
As they walked away from downtown, the Quai became quiet. They passed a park. Silently and instinctively, the two men departed the well-lit trail in search of a dark corner.
Erik wondered what it would be like fucking Johan in a real bed, and maybe, waking up beside him one morning. If he was ever going to get that chance, he needed to make this fuck count. He didn't want Johan to feel like a trick, or see him as a selfish fuckboy.
Erik pushed Johan's back against a fence. He crouched down and unzipped Johan's fly. He fished Johan's already hard dick out of his boxers. The head of his dick was covered with precum, which Erik licked up greedily.
"I thought of you all day at work, Erik. I was worried I'd get a wet spot on my pants."
Erik used his lips, tongue, and throat muscles to stimulate Johan's dick from the base to the tip. On the downstroke, Erik licked Johan's balls with his long tongue. Johan was moaning. He was not used to tops who gave back. He was also not used to cumming from blowjobs, but Erik was so intuitive.
Erik reached around to cup his hands on Johan's ass. He inched Johan's pants down. With one hand, Erik gripped Johan's ass cheek, pulling him in for some deep-throat. With the other hand, Erik fingered Johan's hole.
Johan grunted, "I'm cumming!"
Erik was so tempted to swallow but he held the warm, salty liquid in his mouth. Quickly he stood up, turned Johan around, and bent him over slightly, forcing him into the right position. No words were exchanged. Johan was the kind of submissive bottom Erik liked; he followed Erik's lead. (If only Johan's heart were as submissive as his body, Erik thought. He wanted this not only every two weeks, but every night.)
Erik spat the load of cum onto Johan's hole, taking a moment to rim him and work the cum and spit deeper in. He lined up his cock and drove it home, unable to hold back. Johan gasped. It didn't hurt as much as the first time but it still hurt a bit. It hurt in the best way.
Erik paused, running his hands under Johan's shirt to pinch and tweak his nipples, biting the back of his neck, and finally, twisting Johan around for a kiss. They tasted the remnants of Johan's load.
The fuck wasn't rushed this time. Really no one was around. Johan and Erik found a rhythm that worked for both of them. Mostly, it involved slow but very deep strokes, Erik pulling out almost all the way, so just his foreskin was inside Johan's hole, and then driving his cock all the way back in. Johan no longer felt any pain.
"Breed me, Erik!"
"It's coming, Johan. I'm almost there."
Erik drove his cock as deep as possible inside this once strange older man, with whom he now felt a growing bond. Johan clenched his hole to give Erik some extra pleasure. They both felt each pulse of Erik's cock.
Erik imagined for a moment that Johan was a woman, and that if she wasn't already two weeks pregnant with his baby, she would be pregnant now. This made Erik instantly hard again, and he fucked a second load into Johan.
It was 23:15 by the time the two men had cleaned up.
"There's not enough time for me to get to the train station."
"I'm sorry, Johan. I was irresponsible."
"I was just as irresponsible, Erik. I'm not upset with you."
"Not even because I barebacked you without asking?"
"If we fuck again, you do need to use a condom."
Erik fished a small packet out of his back pocket and dangled it in front of Johan. "I never leave home without these. Just stop me and ask when you are ready for me to put one on."
Even strict "condoms only" bottoms took it bare, in Erik's experience. Once, he had asked his health counselor why. The counselor offered a surprising insight: they probably wanted it bare all along, but they could avoid responsibility for the transgression by letting the top decide.
Erik fucked a lot, so the queer health center in Zürich had set him up with a bunch of vaccinations, with PrEP, and with monthly, no-shame testing. Most of the guys he fucked didn't want to talk about this stuff. They just needed dick. He would let them have their fantasy of taking risks, even though he knew he was one of the most responsible sex partners around.
Johan remained silent. Was he feeling guilty, Erik wondered? He slipped the condom pack back into his pocket and turned to a more immediate problem.
"You can sleep in my room tonight but you have to be quiet. We can't fuck there, with my roommate sleeping."
"Deal! My hole needs a rest, anyway."
Erik spooned Johan on his single bed. Johan felt as if he were back in college. It was a surprisingly nice room. Books, plants, professionally-framed photos on the walls. He tried to ignore the weed grinder on the nightstand.
"Good morning!"
Johan thought Erik was unusually cheerful, for such an early hour.
"I'll shower first so you can snooze." Erik wanted them to shower together, but he saw how tired Johan was from their night out. The two men showered in turn and got dressed.
Johan watched Erik pack tools and plans for today's welding job. He and his husband were knowledge workers, which meant, in practice, that they sat behind computer screens all day. He wondered, just for a moment, what it would be like to date a man who knew how to use his hands, how to build tangible structures instead of virtual edifices.
Erik watched Johan boot his laptop and check his schedule in Outlook. He adjusted the back of Johan's shirt collar, which wasn't properly folded down. He wondered what it would be like to date an office worker. Would he get bored of hearing about marketing campaigns and quarterly plans? Would he be treated as an equal? Especially in Switzerland, class prejudice persisted.
As they walked down the old, narrow stairway of Erik's building, Erik took Johan's hand.
"So, do I get to see you again?"
"Erik," Johan sighed. "It's going to be hard enough for me to explain how 'home late' turned into 'didn't come home at all'. You're young and I don't want you to get disappointed."
"It's fine, Johan. I get the husband thing." Erik immediately recognized the irony of his concession. Johan was a catch. He understood why the older man was not single.