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Love always, Ryan
LOVE HAS NO GENDER CHAPTER FOUR
"Keep it quiet!! The neighbours can hear you!"
"Like I give a fuck! You go out last night and only return home at past eleven? And you have the nerve to tell ME that I don't care about that little brat?"
"I was working, for fuck sake! AND HIS NAME IS RYDER!! You spend so little time with your son that you can't even remember his name?"
"I have to work to keep you BOTH on living a life of luxury..."
"You call this luxury? Hell would be better than living with a bitch like you!"
"If I'm such a bitch, what are you still doing here?"
"Like I'm gonna leave my son with you!"
Teresa smiled evilly and walked to the door. She closed it and locked it. Rocco's chest heaved with anger. Teresa picked up her cellphone and imitated an imaginary phone call.
"Oh police...my hushand...he has hit me again...please come and help me...he is really losing it... Please help me..."
Rocco stared at his wife in sheer disbelief. There was no doubt whatsoever what she was doing.
"I have never hit you. Never even came close to. You won't get away with lying to hurt me!"
"And who do you think are they gonna believe? The grieving wifey...or the husband who works his ass off for peanuts...?
"You're evil beyond all imagination," Rocco hissed.
"I wouldn't say that. I just look after myself. But you're free to go. I don't want you here. I couldn't care less. But if you do...I'm keeping the kid with me. You think I stayed with you all these years without getting some satisfaction out of the deal? No way. That little brat is staying with me. No court with give him to you over me. Not once I tell the whole world how you abuse me. Who will believe you? Nothing personal, Rocco. Just business."
"And there she is. The gangster chick I met and fucked and who was forced to marry. Viper. I should whisper that name in a few ears at your work. I can play the blackmail card too, Teresa. Or should I say...Viper. Get out of my sight."
Teresa laughed manically and walked out of the room, whistling as she did so. Rocco walked up the stairs of their apartment two at a time. He entered Ryder's bedroom. His heart melted as he saw the seven year old boy sitting in the corner...next to his bed...covered in and clutching at his Pokemon blanket...holding both hands to his ears. He obviously heard him and Teresa argue and he only hoped to God that he didn't hear the final part of their conversation. Ryder was shit scared of Teresa. He could see and feel her hatred towards him. How anyone can hate such a sweet little boy was beyond Rocco. He gently picked up his son and held him. The boy squirmed and started to shake but Rocco held him in a firm grip. He needed Ryder to feel love. Warmth. Everything a child needs and did obviously not have recieved from his own mother.
"Lets go next door, yeah? You wanna go play with Dave?" Rocco whispered into Ryder's ear. The seven year old only nodded. Rocco hugged his son for a little while longer before getting up and taking Ryder's hand inside his own. Together, father and son walked down the stairs. Where...of course, as fate would have it, they had to run into Teresa.
"Wow, Rocco. The kid has been crying again? You sure he isn't gay? Fucking sissy, he is."
"How...can any mother...know what? Not even gonna answer you. Come on, Ryder."
"Hope you both get run over by a car...!" Teresa sang casually after them. Rocco closed his eyes and tried to remember who it was that those hurtful words came from. He knew exactly what she was doing. She wanted Rocco to lose it. She wanted to have him scream on her. She wanted to make good on her promise to stitch him up for "hurting" her. She wasn't gonna succeed. With immense selfcontrol he took Ryder's hand and together they walked over their lawn to next door. He knocked twice. He needed to see Brad and quickly. He just...he had to. Before he loses it.
Dave opened the door, and as two best friends did when they visited, they arranged within seconds to play some Pokemon Ultra Moon whilst Dave screamed at the top of his voice that Uncle Rocco was here to see his dad. Rocco smiled as he watched the boys run up the stairs as fast as their little legs could carry them. Wow...he realised with a little tremble that, that was the first time all day that he managed a smile...he felt a presence behind him. He turned around and his heart shook inside his chest.
Rocco suddenly looked down at his feet. He was so ashamed. Not the first time that himself and Teresa had an argument and he KNEW Brad and Nicci could hear EVERY SINGLE WORD that was screamed between them. Rocco was shaking. A tear ran accross his cheek. God knows, he tried to keep from showing emotion but he knew Brad wouldn't judge him. He understood.
"Come here."
Rocco walked over to Brad at lightning speed and crushed him with his own body. Brad clutched at him just as hard as both men tried their best to get their hands on the other, to touch each other everywhere that was seemingly possible. Brad's back bumped against the living room wall as the two men finally came to some sort of rest. Rocco's face was buried inside the creek of Brad's neck and soft sobs along with his lurching body could be heard. Brad held him as tight as he could. He placed his right hand on Rocco's head and held his best friend even closer to him.
"I'm sorry..." Rocco croaked.
"Shut up. You're safe now."
Rocco released Brad and allowed his arms to finally give way. He quickly wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt.
"She's nuts, man. She's threatening to take Ryder from me. She doesn't give a FUCK about him! She would do it just to hurt me. I can't handle Ryder being with her. Brad, he's so scared of her. It will kill me if she takes Ryder away."
Brad walked over to a shaking Rocco and caressed his shoulder, before fiving it a gentle, but firm kiss. The moment that his lips touched Rocco's skin, he heard Rocco sigh. Brad kissed Rocco's temple, his lips lingering. He turned Rocco's face towards his own.
"I heard everything. And you did the right thing, coming here. She's got to be stopped. Mate, look at me."
He didn't want to. Those beautiful blue eyes Brad had. Knowing he could very well lose control over what he felt for him, Rocco turned towards his best friend. Slowly he placed his hand on that of Brad's. He could feel this man did truly care about him. He could feel the power of the feelings both men had been feeling for some time now. Brad pushed his forehead against Rocco's and closed his eyes.
"You listen to me. You got me. Always. I'll always be just a few miles away. She gets like that again, you come over. Hey...do you trust me?" Brad whispered.
"With my life," Rocco answered immediately. He shocked himself with the ease in which he gave that answer.
Brad leaned in closer, casted a quick glance towards the stairs. No one there.
"I've been dreaming about this for days..." he said as he plunged his lips into Rocco's. The two men kissed each other with an animalistic passion. It was like watching a white lion devour a raw piece of meat. Backs were caressed. Noses and tongues touched. Souls were roamed free and found eachother. They had a need for each other that only they understood. Rocco held Brad's face in his hands before slowly pulling away. He could still taste his best friend. He traced Brad's puffy, red lips with his thumb. He caressed his face. My God. He never knew another man could be that beautiful. His fingers somehow travelled into Brad's hair. He felt the latter's heart beat increase in rate. He leaned forward and softly bit Brad's bottom lip.
"Oh my God..." Brad hissed.
"Not God. Just me..." Rocco said softly.
"I know. Just you."
Rocco crushed Brad with another earth shattering kiss. Passion ignited in both men that neither had ever, ever felt. Two souls, regardless of their gender, had found eachother and both was unwilling to let go. Brad's hands roamed over Rocco's broad chest and muscled arms. In turn, Rocco couldn't get enough of Brad's lips as he continued to devour his friend's mouth. Once more, two tongues searched for and found each other. They were totally out of breath when the kiss finally was forced to stop.
"Brad...I..." Rocco whispered. He was painfully aware of his cock being rock hard and that it was pressing currently against Brad's crotch. As far as he could feel, that thing was far from being soft either.
"Don't talk. Just hold me."
Rocco stood away from Brad. The latter looked like he had been stabbed with a knife. But then Rocco held out his hand and signalled Brad to follow him. Brad's hand slipped inside his own.
"I feel so alone. Teresa...Ryder...it gets too much..." Rocco said. As he talked, he felt Brad's thumb caressed his.
"Never again. You hear me? Never again. You have me. I ain't going anywhere, mate."
The two men walked over to the backdoor, and from there, into the garden. They didn't really care if anyone saw them. Dave's bedroom window faced away from the garden, anyway. Rocco felt Brad stiffen up. He quickly pulled the latter against him.
"You cold?" He asked Brad.
"Not really. But there are things we need to talk about. Boring, I know. But we have to."
"I know. Been dreading this, have I. Never really thought I'd ever have to worry about something like this."
Brad released Rocco's hand and walked over to the swimming pool. He knelt down and ran his fingers over the surface of the water.
"Mate, firstly...we have a bit of a problem. I'm not gay. You're not gay. So how...I mean...I freaked when I felt your...you know...But then, when I realised that apart from that, you're still the person I...I mean...fuckin hell, why is this so damn hard?" Brad hissed, standing up and placing his hands inside his pockets. Rocco stood where he was. He got the distinct idea that Brad didn't wanna be held or have physical contact at that moment.
"No. We're not gay. But I feel for you what I have never felt for any other person. Fuck sake, Brad. We both know what's happening. We're not even trying to stop it. Know why? Because..."
"Because we don't want to. Because I feel the same. Because I'm married and all I can think of is you. Every night...every damn night in that bed with Nicci, I wish she was you. I wish you were there. I wanna be with you so much, that every time I hear Teresa scream out those despicable things to you, I wanna charge over there and tell her to leave my guy the fuck alone...and to know I can't... It breaks me. Mate, I dunno. Maybe we should...take a break or something."
Rocco's hands balled up into fists.
"Is that really what you want?" He asked. He was so sure Brad was just having some issues with who he was. This was insane, if you thought of it. Two seemingly straight dudes desperately wanting to be together. Brad turned back towards him. He had a determined look in his eyes.
"Yes. Let's take a few days and not see eachother. This...things are different with you and Teresa. She's a bitch, so it's easy to forget her. But I actually LOVE Nicci. And I hate what I'm doing to her. There. I said it. I love my wife. And this...what ever this is...it has to stop. I have a son. And a wife. I can't do this. I thought... "
"Save it, Brad. You saw a guy being verbally abused by his wife and you felt pity. I don't need your fucking pity. You're right. We stop this. Right fucking now."
Rocco had never been this angry in his life. Not even at Teresa. Brad just threw away everything that he, Rocco, had ever wanted. If Mister High and Mighty was so happily married, WHY did he allow Rocco into his life and allow this to happen???
"Ryder! Come on, we're going!" He barked to the upstairs rooms as he entered the house.
"Rocco, mate, don't take it out on him..."
"I'll talk to MY son how the hell I want. Leave us alone. We're going," Rocco said without emotion.
"You knew I was married..."
"And you knew I wasn't. You played me. I'll never forgive you. Actually, maybe it's better that your true feelings showed today. Because I have had enough emotional shit to last me a life time!" Rocco hissed as Ryder came trodding down, followed by Dave.
"Dad...we're in the middle of beating Necrozma..."
"Ryder, I said, we're going. Say goodbye to Dave."
"Dad..."
"God damn Ryder, you always need to moan around me? No wonder your mom calls you a sissy!"
That was regretted the moment the words left Rocco's mouth. He felt a pain inside his chest and his eyes closed. He hurt te one person he loved more than life itself. Ooohhh God. No.
No. In all that time, young Ryder never took his eyes off his father. He must have felt that now, both his mom and dad hated him.
"Ryder...I didn't mean that... Lets just go home."
Ryder was still in a sort of trance, so Rocco gently scooped his son up in his arms and carried him to the door. He tried the best he could to open the door with the boy in his arms, without much luck. Finally, Brad was there. He looked deeply into Rocco's eyes...Rocco's heart trembled at he sight of Brad's beautiful blue eyes. So ironic that he had to be the person who opened the door that sent Rocco away. After a few seconds of silent conversation between them, Brsd opened the door and allowed father and son to leave the house. Both were half way back to their own home where Rocco heard Brad's voice.
"Always. I meant that."
Rocco didn't know what to say. He simply kept on walking.
In the following days, neither man saw the other. Rocco went out of his way to avoid Brad at all costs, and he was pretty sure Brad was doing the same. What the fuck were they thinking? Fucking hell, they should have stopped this the moment things and feelings got out of hand. But no. He gave into his feelings or what ever the crap it was he felt towards Brad and got his ass rejected. After yet ANOTHER fight with Teresa, after she refused to attend a parent-teacher meeting at Ryder's school, and ofcourse that meant Rocco had to beg his boss for time off work to go himself, humiliated...things pretty much were at breaking point. He was abruptly told to keep his personal life away from work and he was given a written warning. He couldn't care less. He felt shit enough about what he said to Ryder at Brad's home. He wouldn't let his boy down again. He missed Brad. There was a longing in his heart to see him. He always thought people who said that were messed up love puppies with too much time for romance novels. Fuck me.
One afternoon he connected his phone to Teresa's wifi and went in desperate search of some porn. He needed to prove someting to himself, if nothing else. He searched for and down loaded every ounce of lesbian porn he could find at his finger tips. He laid down on Teresa's bed, and unzipped his trousers. His cock flopped onto his lower stomach. He gently started to jerk himself off. He watched his seven inch cock grow to its full potential.
Satisfied with the first part of his supposed plan, he started to play the first of the porn vids he downloaded. He watched in amazement as the two women went at it. He forced his hand onto his cock and went to town. He forced his eyes onto that of the fingers inside the woman's pussy. Blue eyes. No, fuck that. Look at the pussy.
He jacked his cock faster. Yeaaah...fuck yeah...he was rock hard, still normal. He still wanted pussy. He groaned as he saw the one woman eat out the other. Brad's lips on his. FUCK. NO.
He stopped the video and opened another. Good...oh my god...a fucking lesbo threesome. This was awesome. His hard dick was standing proud at the stimulation it received. His pre cum was in full flow as he moaned intensely at what he saw on the screen. Brad's hands all over him. Brad's lips on his. Brad's loving heart and how good he felt as Rocco held him ever so tight to his own body...
"No...no...fuck no...!!" He yelled out as the sperm travelled from his balls right up his thick cock and spat out with a velocity that it had never had before. He heaved. He puffed. He closed his eyes. Brad. Its Brad's face he saw before he...
"FUCK!!!" Rocco screamed as he got up, his cock still half hard after his orgasm, and threw his phone against the bedroom wall. It shattered noisily into a hundred little pieces.
No. No. He sunk to his knees and covered his eyes. No. It couldn't be. But it was. His heart couldn't lie. Not anymore.
"Ryder, clean up your homework. Pizza is here," Rocco told his son as the doorbell rang.
"Yes Dad."
"Yes daddy..." Teresa mocked her son.
"Shut the hell up," Rocco hissed angrily. This has gotten way out of hand.
"Make me. Hit me. Hurt me. I dare you. Can't even satisfy me this way. Pathetic loser."
Rocco looked at Ryder. His eyes were red as he tried his seven year old best not to cry at his mother's words. Teresa held his gaze. She looked so smug. As if to say...try me. I'm ready. No wonder she was called Viper back in the day. He opened the door, expecting to see the delivery man with their pizza, but instead he was confronted by a crying Nicci.
Oh shit. Did Brad tell her the truth about them? Fuck. Naah Brad loved his wife. He wouldn't...would he? Nicci was so out of it, she could hardly speak.
"Nicci, what...come in," He said. Inside he was shaking.
"N...no. I can't. Rocco, p...please. Take me to the hospital. Right now! Please! Brad had an accident. They just called and I don't have a car to get there! Please! "
Rocco froze. Please God. No.
"I'll get the keys. You go wait in the car."
"Wait a minute. That's MY car you wanna use right now? Really Rocco?" He heard Teresa scream. He looked at Nicci. She looked like death. She knew what Teresa was really like. Lord knows she heard it everyday.
"Teresa, Brad had an accident. I don't know if you realise that. Nicci really needs to get to the hospital. I have to help her."
"You do that and I'll report you for stealing my car."
Nicci let out a sound that didn't sound quite human. She wasn't used to this kind of evil. Rocco clutched the car keys in his fist. All he could think of was Brad. His Brad. He was hurt. There were so many things he still needed, still wanted to say to him. He might never get the chance now. His heart knew what he wanted. And what he didn't.
"Bite me," he said to Teresa and left the house with Nicci. He could hear screaming from inside the house but he didn't care. Not for her anyway. He needed to get Nicci to Brad. His chest burned with emotion. Please God. Not now. Don't take him away...
When they arrived at the hospital, it took a while to understand just where exactly Brad was. Once a nurse was able to help them, they ran along the corridor to the intensive care unit. With a relief they realised they were at the wrong end, and that Brad was in Casualty. Once there, a doctor was busy doing his rounds and Nicci pounced on him. Once she mentioned Brad's full name, he nodded in recognition.
"Oh right. The patient that was brought in an hour ago. Your husband?"
Nicci nodded. Rocco's heart raced.
"Mam, your husband is going to be fine. It was another car that ran a red light at a stop sign and drove into him. He did sustain a few broken ribs and his overall body will be hurting for the next dew days, but other than that...could have been a LOT worse. He's very lucky, he is. You're welcome to go inside."
As the doctor left, Nicci reached inside her handbag. She was obviously looking for something urgently, but it had to be the shock that had not quite settled in. Rocco grabbed her hands as the handbag fell out of her grasp, and onto the cold tile floor.
"Nicci, what do you need? Talk to me," Rocco pleaded. He needed to be there for her. For Brad.
"My anxiety pills. I can't go in there. Not like this. I need to calm down. Brad told you about...about our little boy? Who died?" Nicci answered hoarsely.
"Yes. He did. I'm sorry..."
"Don't be. For the first time in his life he has a male friend who means the world to him. Thank you. Thank you for bringing me here. Are you really gonna be...arrested for taking her car?"
Rocco sighed and looked at the room where Brad was. He'd do anything for him. He squared his shoulders. He really didn't care. Nicci shivered.
"How can any woman be so...vindictive? God. Anyway, you go in. I have to take my pills. I swear, I'll have an panic attack inside there if I don't. Tell him I love him. And Rocco...thanks. "
It was with many mixed and guilty feelings that Rocco left Nicci and entered the room in Casualty. Brad was gonna be fine. The doctor said so. Fuck that. He needed to see his best friend with his own eyes. When he eventually locked eyes on Brad, he couldn't contain his feelings any longer. Tears, mountains and oceans of pent up emotions spilt through his eyes. Brad looked like he had been going a few rounds with Mike Tyson. His face was bandaged and he had quite a few cuts and scrapes.
Such a waste. They lost five whole days because both of them were too fucking stubborn to admit how they truly felt. He sat down next to Brad's bed and watched as the hurt man was sleeping off the horrible accident. He gently reached out and placed both his hands onto Brad's left. Carefully, as if in a dream, he brought them upwards and towards his lips. For a while, he was quiet. The incredible love he felt for this man. Fuck. Then, the anger set in. Inevitability.
"Why? Why did this happen? You fucking idiot. I could have lost you. Forever. And you do this. You damn moron. You could have died and I'd never got to tell you I lo..."
He kept quiet as one of the nurses entered.
"Sir, I'm about to go on my break. We found some of his personal possessions in the wreck of his car. Are you his brother?"
"Uhm...no. But his wife is outside. I think she needs a few minutes though. She suffers from anxiety, you see."
"Look, I really need to go. Can I leave these with you?" She asked, holding a plastic bag with items towards him. He nodded and she spat out like his cum did the other day. Typical nurses. Think caring for patients is the world's easiest job, heaven knows why they do it. He looked at the container bag. He could see Brad's wallet, his driver's license, his cellphone, or what was left of it...and a diary.
Curious, he opened the bag and held the little black book inside his hand. As he took it out, a piece of paper fluttered its way out and onto the bed. Putting the diary down, he saw there was something written on the paper. It was a piece of the diary that Brad must have teared out. It was dated two days before.
"ALWAYS. I LOVE HIM."
Did he freak out? Did he lose it? Did he panic?
No.
Instead, he once more held Brad's left hand inside both of his own. He kissed Brad's knuckes. He felt at ease. And suddenly...it didn't matter that Brad was a dude. Another guy. It didn't matter about being gay or straight or bisexual. It didn't matter that he and Brad both had dicks. None of that mattered.
"Come back to me. I love you. You hear me, you messed up fucker? I love you. I'll say it over and over again. I LOVE YOU. Come on, Brad. Be a man and open those beautiful eyes of yours. You're everything to me... Please..."
The door opened. He smelled her perfume before he knew who it was. She had caught him red handed.
"The police are here. They wanna see you." Nicci said.
THANKS FOR READING!!! What now for Rocco?? Nicci knows the truth :(
Wanna chat? Feel free to email me :) liciousryan@gmail.com