Bert had been a widower for four years and Kerry had been released from prison about six months before they met. A mutual friend, with a very romantic soul, felt that they were a perfect match. Hal brought Kerry over to Bert's house one evening, and it was indeed instant attraction. Hal left after half an hour. It was like he wasn't even in the house, and they didn't even notice him leave.
Bert had enjoyed a very long term relationship with his late partner Ronald. Their union had spanned thirty-seven years. Ronald was fifteen years older than Bert, and when he contracted cancer and died, Bert was still in his prime, well maybe a couple of years past it. Bert could not stop mourning Ronald. Whenever he was with friends, he would somehow recall an incident that he could relate concerning him and Ronald. Nevertheless, Bert had his needs and would very readily have accepted a new partner into his life to end his loneliness. He secretly desired his friend, Hal, but Hal was in a loving partnership of his own. Bert teased Hal constantly about sleeping together, but Hal pretended he was kidding.
Kerry's story was quite a bit different and perhaps you could call it bizarre. He had been your every man. He practiced law successfully, had a beautiful wife, and two teen age kids, a son and a daughter. Everything about this family reeked of Church, Americana and Suburbia. Unfortunately, Kerry had an illness. He desired young teen age boys. His secret life as a pedophile began when he himself was a teen-ager, and it continued into his late forties when his world fell apart.
Every time Kerry met a youngster on line he used a different screen name. He had two computers in his office and two at home. He told his wife that one computer was personal and the other was for business. She had no reason to doubt his word. At one time he had twenty-seven active screen names. He was corresponding with and seeking to meet with twenty-seven lads all at once. He even dared to set up screen names on his wife's computer when he himself was at capacity.
It was only a matter of time before he would be entrapped by federal agents pretending to be an underage boy. The `boy' agreed to meet with him and when Terry arrived at the meeting place, the feds swooped down on him. Every computer in his home was confiscated, including his wife's and his children's. His office computers were impounded as well, including those of his secretary and staff. They were littered with child pornography.
In order to spare his family further disgrace, Kerry pleaded guilty and avoided a trial. He received a fifteen year sentence, but he was released for good behavior after eleven years. Due to the nature of his crime, he was a bit of a pariah in prison. Occasionally, a fellow inmate sought him out for a blow job. He was glad to oblige, especially if the prisoner was young. He received extensive therapy in jail.
He also received state sponsored therapy during his parole period and he was assigned a probation officer to monitor his every action. He was very limited as to where he could live, but was fortunate enough to rent an apartment in a senior citizen's complex. One of his former clients owned the apartment and she was rather sympathetic to him.
Everywhere he went doors were closed to him for gainful employment. Nobody wanted to hire a convict, a pedophile no less. It was uncertain how he survived financially, but he did. Perhaps he had help from his two sisters.
Kerry loved to sing, and thought he would like to audition for the Gay Men's Chorus. They were giving a concert one night at the gay church and Kerry went to hear them. As the fates would have it, he was sitting next to Hal and his partner, Les. They struck up a conversation and the three of them really hit it off. After the concert, Hal learned that Kerry had to go right past his house on his way home, and he invited him to stop off for a cup of coffee. Kerry was more than happy to accept. He was desperate to make friends in the gay community. Before incarceration he had lived in the straight world, and he was only out of prison for a few short months.
Hal drove with him so he wouldn't get lost, and Les drove home alone. Over coffee and some pie, their conversation was very animated. At some point, Kerry must have felt secure enough with Hal and Les and he told them the truth. Hal vaguely remembered reading about Kerry's case in the newspaper, and recalled a picture of him being led from his house in handcuffs.
Hal and Les liked Kerry and felt sorry for him. He was attempting to meet and associate with mature men, and he had a lot of therapy with more to come. They were sure he was ready for society or he wouldn't have been released from prison prematurely. They welcomed him as a friend and included him in some of their social activities over the next couple of weeks.
Les was an avid bridge and bingo player. These activities kept him out two or three nights a week. Hal, on his part, could live without either. Many nights, when Les was out, Hal would go over to his lonely, widowed friend, Bert. They would sip cokes and watch reality TV shows together. Bert would constantly throw out sexual innuendos to Hal, who ignored them.
One day Kerry stopped by Hal's house on his way home, just as Hal was leaving to go over to Bert's. "Hey, follow me over to my friend. He's just a few streets away," Hal said to Kerry. "I'd like you two guys to meet." Little did Hal suspect that it would be love at first sight. When he realized it, he left the house hastily so that Bert and Kerry could be alone.
They wasted no time and slept together that very first night. Their bodies were like cogs in a wheel. Bert was 6'4" tall and Kerry was 6'3". They were both a bit overweight and they blended together perfectly. They crushed their bodies together as their tongues sought to duel. They were both so hungry for sex, they had no time for foreplay. Bert threw himself on top of Kerry and wiggled down until his tongue could caress Kerry's cock. Kerry began to make little whimpering sounds. Bert had never heard that sound before, but it was obvious that Kerry was in paradise. Bert crept around Kerry's body until they were in a sixty-nine position. Kerry couldn't wait to take Bert inside of him. He sucked gently but with a steady rhythm that brought Bert right off. When he came, Bert had to stop sucking, but when he resumed, he brought Kerry to ecstasy also.
They were inseparable for over four months. Neither gave a thought to the ramifications of Kerry's position, until Bert started asking Kerry to move into his spacious home and share it with him. Then reality struck.
Kerry's name and history were all over the internet. There were two young children living next door to Bert and a day care center up the street. Kerry would never be permitted to live there. Hal and Les offered to let him use their address, but Bert pointed out that they were around the corner from a middle school.
There were even worse things. Kerry could not travel out of the state during his probationary period. Bert wanted to book a cruise for them, but Kerry couldn't go. A friend of Bert's invited both of them to her granddaughter's sixteenth birthday party, and naturally Kerry's probation officer nixed it, since teen age boys would be present.
Bert was not willing to live in the prison that Kerry had created for himself. Neither was he willing to sell his home, and besides the housing market was severely depressed. There seemed no way out but to maintain the status quo. Worse yet, Kerry could not get a job, and Bert was in no position to take on his support. It is hard to say who was hurting more. Bert had finally fallen in love, but could not live with his lover. For him, the biggest condition of taking a new partner was to live together and take care of one another.
On his part, Kerry had found a meaningful, adult relationship in the gay community but he could not live with his lover either. They both agreed that the status quo was not what they wanted, but neither could make a move, not knowing what to do about it. By now all their friends and family were thinking of them as a couple. Eventually Bert came to the conclusion that it could never work. Kerry, on the other hand, was in some blissful world where everything was just splendid.
Kerry was accepted to sing with the Gay Men's Chorus and he rehearsed every Tuesday evening. Les played bingo every Tuesday and Bert and Hal hung out together. Sometimes they had dinner together, but mostly Hal went to Bert's place and they watched TV together. Bert always felt that Hal was one of the wisest and most compassionate men he knew. He began to confide his misgivings to Hal. He asked Hal over and over again what he thought about the situation.
"If you can accept living apart, vacationing separately, not being able to go to certain parties together, then it will work out," Hal said. "I know a few committed couples who don't live together for one reason or another."
"I can't do that," Bert said. "What if something happened to one of us during the night, and the other wasn't there? I'm also worried about how long Kerry can support himself and be able to maintain a separate apartment. He'll never find a job, and he's a few years away from social security. I love him, but I can't take on that kind of responsibility. Hal, tell me what to do. I really love him and I'm hurting."
Bert buried his head in his hands and Hal sat down beside him. He put his arms around Bert's shoulders, and Bert nested his head on Hal's chest. Suddenly he raised himself and kissed Hal on the lips. Hal was surprised but let it happen. Instinct took over. Their lips parted and their tongues began to slide over each other.
"Why couldn't you be available?" Bert cried. "I love you, you know."
Hal did know. He always pretended that Bert was kidding when he talked about their making love together, but deep down, he knew it was true.
"Be careful," Hal said. "I'll call your bluff."
"Please call my bluff," Bert said, and he meant it.
They left the living room and headed for Bert's bedroom. They stripped and showered together. All the while their lips were locked together.
This is so wrong, Hal thought. I love Les.
As if he could read Hal's thoughts, Bert said, "Love us both. If something should happen to Les, I want first dibs."
Hal was in turmoil. "Yes, of course," he said. It was inevitable that as they made love, Hal began to compare. Les was found wanting in every area. Bert knew how to suck a guy's cock and he enjoyed doing it. Les did it out of a sense of duty. Best of all, during the lovemaking, Bert kept telling Hal what a terrific lover he was. That was so reaffirming.
They didn't play sixty-nine but they came separately in each other's mouths.
"Delicious," Bert said.
"Delicious," Hal said.
When it was time for Hal to go home and he was dressing, he said to Bert, "I'm going to tell Les about this. I can't lie to him."
"I'm not sure that's wise, but do what you have to," Bert answered.
That night as Les and Hal snuggled up close in bed, Hal told him about Bert's dilemma with Kerry. "I tried to comfort him and I put my arms around him. Somehow we kissed and ended up making love. I'm sorry Les. I never meant for it to happen."
Les held Hal closer. "You came home to me and you still love me don't you?"
"Of course, I do. What a dumb question," Hal said.
"Well, then, let's forget about it. I don't want to impose middle class, heterosexual values on us. Just promise me you love me and won't desert me."
"Never," Hal whispered in Les' ear. He could feel Les' hand reaching for his cock and he sighed.
"Actually," Les said, "there's this fellow I met at bingo..."
Before he could finish, they both burst out laughing and started kissing. Hal thought he was all done out, but he discovered he had plenty left for Les.
The next day Bert told Kerry that they had no future together. He was very blunt. "We can't live together. We can't travel together. We can't even go to parties together if minors are there. I won't live out my life like that. I love you, and I hope we can still be friends, but that's up to you."
"We'll see," Kerry answered. He got a big plastic bag, and started to gather up some of his stuff that he had left in Bert's house. Watching him do this, Bert started to cry.
"I'm sorry, Kerry, so sorry."
Kerry left Bert's house key on the dresser and left. Bert cried all night.
They did remain friends of a sort. They spoke on the phone occasionally. They weren't bosom buddies, but they did run into each other here and there, and of course they all saw each other after a Gay Men's Chorus concert. But that was that, and they didn't date each other.
Even though Hal and Bert continued to have sex whenever the opportunity arose, Bert still longed for a love of his own. Hal realized that he was just a fuck buddy substitute, but his friend needed him and he was happy to oblige him. Les did not object to the arrangement. Hal would have liked Les to join in with him and Bert, but Les avoided it.
Now almost a year later, Kerry has still not found work. He and Bert speak on the phone occasionally but hardly ever see each other. After every call, both men cry bitter tears.
Bert has begun to rationalize. "He fucked up his life," he says to Hal. I don't need for him to fuck up mine also." But then the tears flow freely.
There is no solution to Bert's dilemma, except to meet and fall in love with someone who can be a true friend and companion. Kerry's problem may not have a solution. Is there someone out there willing to put up with all the restrictions imposed by his pedophilia? Is he cured of it? The recidivist rate is near 100%.
Hal keeps an eye on both of them. Neither is doing well. Each cries for the other like star crossed lovers in a Shakespearian play. But it can be no other way.