Disclaimers: The following is a work of fiction. Meaning, that, the people and events are not real, and never happened, except in my mind. All the other usual stuff applies. If you shouldn't be here, don't read it. If you don't like it, why are you here? Comments appreciated, flames deleted.
Thanks for all the responses! I'm glad you've enjoyed the story, up to this point. Things are going to get a little more interesting now, I'm afraid....but...what's that? Is there light at the end of this tunnel? _____________________________________________________________________ Saturday morning Jim got up before I did. He was really quiet because I didn't even hear him. When I got up at 7:30, I found his note:
Good morning love of my life. I've gone running, running the long route this morning. Should be back around 8:00.
All my love, forever, J
So I figured I'd better get a move on if I was going to get my man fed when he got home. I showered quickly, got dressed and went to the kitchen to get started.
We'd been eating heavy breakfasts lately, so I got out the fruit to make some ambrosia. I also decided to whip up a quick cheese omelet. As I was finishing up with the fruit, I noticed that it was already 8, so I kicked it into high gear. I wanted everything to be ready when Jim got home.
I ran to the bathroom, got his stuff ready, pulled him out some clean clothes, underwear and stuff, then headed back to the kitchen to finish getting the omelet ready. I had the toast in the oven by ten after, and had the pan on the stove, waiting. I knew that all I had to do was cut the stove on when Jim walked in, and the omelet would be ready to take off the stove as he got out of the shower.
I waited, and waited. Pretty soon it was 8:30 and I was beginning to get a little worried. When he hadn't gotten home by 8:45 I turned everything off, grabbed my keys, and headed out the door. I said a quick prayer that he would just be resting, or maybe had run farther than he had meant to, but I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I knew the route he ran, because he told me. He didn't want me to worry while he ran, so he told me about his short route, and his long route. I started driving and looking. I had gone all the way to his turn around point without seeing him when I noticed that the bushes beside the road were moving. I stopped to look, and saw a flash of yellow. Jim wore bright yellow running pants so people would see him if it was dark.
I slammed on brakes, and jumped out of the car, my heart in my throat. I almost died when I got to the bushes. There was blood everywhere, and Jim was in the middle of it. There was so much blood; I just knew he was already dead.
"Jim!" I screamed.
He moaned, and then got very still.
"Don't you dare leave me James Lee Iverson!"
I carefully picked up his head. I could tell his right leg was broken, just by the angle that it was laying. I was also afraid that his left arm was broken. He was bleeding around his lips, his eyes were already swollen shut, and I thought I saw blood coming out of his ears, but I couldn't be sure.
"Jim, baby, I can't move you, I've got to go get help. Don't leave me baby, please hold on. I'll be right back."
There was a pay phone not a half-mile from where we were. I made it a lot faster than the speed limit said I should. I called 911, gave them the low down, and directions, and headed back to my baby.
"Jim, can you hear me?" I asked.
He moaned again. That was music to my ears. At least he wasn't dead.
"Jim, honey, you've got to hold on, baby. I'm here, I'm not gonna leave your side, ok, baby? Jim, baby, can you talk to me?"
"Mmmmph" was all he could say.
I head the ambulance and police coming up the street. They got there a minute or so later. The paramedics were all business, and a little cold, I thought. But I was glad they were there. The police started asking me questions, and I told them as much as I could. I told them that Jim was my roommate, that he had gone running this morning, like he does most every morning. I told them that after he was forty-five minutes later than he had said he was going to be, I went looking for him.
The paramedic turned around and asked me straight up, "Is this guy gay?"
"Yeah, but why what difference does that make?" I replied.
"Are you his lover?"
"In a manner of speaking. We live together, but have not had sex yet." I answered.
They looked at me kind of funny.
"Do you know if he's been having sex with anyone else?"
"NO!" I replied. "We've just been waiting for the right time," I told him.
"Well, then, either he's been cheating on you, or not only was he beaten up, but he was raped."
Raped.
That word just echoed, and hung in the air. My poor, sweet, wonderful Jim had been raped. My mind just could not accept that, but the alternative was that he had been cheating on me. I knew that couldn't be possible, so that only left the possibility that he had been raped.
"Is he gonna be all right?" I asked.
"I don't know, sir, he's in pretty bad shape," the paramedic replied.
"Can I ride to the hospital with you?"
"What about your car?" he asked
"Like I give a flying fuck about that right now. Jim's health and safety are all that matter."
"Sure, kid, just stay out of the way and let us do our job," he said.
I thought we'd never get to the hospital. I was wishing they could take him to the one where Laura's grandma had been. It was a much more modern facility, but, as bad as Jim looked, I figured closer was better.
As soon as we got to the hospital, I asked for a pass to be able to get to his room. I told the paramedics I had to call his folks.
Mrs. Mason answered the phone, and I briefly told her what I knew, and that she and Mr. Mason needed to get here ASAP. I also called my mom. Fortunately, she answered. I told her what had happened, and I asked her to come be with me. I was so scared, and it showed in my voice.
They doctors would not let me in the area where they were working on Jim, so I had to wait in the hall. Soon enough, his mom and dad came in, followed by my mom, Fred, Caroline, and... MY...dad? What the fuck was he doing here?
"What the fuck is he doing here?" I asked.
"Don't use that language around me," mom said.
"He's the reason Jim's here," I said.
"How can you say that?" mom asked.
"Number one, if he hadn't have flown off the handle at the restaurant, and kicked me out, we wouldn't have been living in that trailer. If we hadn't been there, Jim wouldn't have been running the route he was on. If dad hadn't flown off the handle, somebody at the restaurant wouldn't have overheard the conversation, and nobody would know about Jim and me."
"That's just number one?" she asked.
"Number two," I started, just as dad was walking up the hall. I'm sure he had heard what I just said. He had a strange, sad look on his face.
"Number two, if dad wasn't such a narrow-minded, bigoted, self-centered, hypocrite, what happened in the restaurant wouldn't have happened."
"How can you say such things about your dad?" She said, aghast at the venom in my voice.
"Simple," I said. "He talks this great line about how open minded he is to new ideas. Well, homosexuality is not a new idea, and he's obviously closed his mind to it. He's bigoted for the same reason; he's intolerant of something that doesn't fit his ideology. He's self-centered, because he got himself drunk and called in sick the Monday after you found out. I know it's because he didn't want anybody to know that he was related to a fag," and I spit out the word fag with as much bitterness as I could, trying to make my point. "And, finally, he's a hypocrite because he talks about letting every person decide what's right for them, and that we should all live together, peacefully. Well, that's pure bullshit. He doesn't believe that, or he would never have hit me, and he would never have kicked me out. It's people like him that did this to my Jim."
I turned and faced my dad directly at this point. "It was a, or some, narrow-minded, fag hating, bigoted hypocrite that did this to Jim. Did you know that in addition to beating him so bad he may die, they raped him? Did you? Huh?"
I was beside myself. All the fear, and anger at whoever had done this to Jim, and my anger at my father all boiled out at the same time. I could tell that what I had been saying was hurting my dad. I could see it in his eyes. But I couldn't stop. This train had pulled out of the station, and I had no way to stop it.
"It was somebody like YOU, that did this to him. You may have killed Jim!!! I HATE you, you bastard!!!" And I started beating him on the chest, tears running down my face.
My dad grabbed my arms, put his arms around me (to keep me from hitting him, I thought) and started shushing me.
"Shhhhh, Timmy. Shhhhh. Daddy's here, to help you."
My anger turned to tears, and I grabbed my dad, and just bawled.
"I'm so sorry, Timmy, about what I've done, and what I've said. I can't take the things back, but I am so sorry I hurt you, and Jimmy Lee. Honey," and he grabbed my chin and made me look at him.
"Look at me, Timmy." I looked into his eyes.
"See my sincerity. Look at my eyes, and see that I mean what I say. Everything you just said about me is, or was, true. I'm all the things you've said. I don't deserve your forgiveness, or Jims, but I'm asking you to forgive me. Please."
And the dam of my tears, and fears, and hurts burst completely. My daddy held me, and comforted, and cried with me. We just stood there, two men, crying in the hallway of the hospital.
"Oh, daddy. What am I going to do if Jim dies?" I cried into his chest.
"Jim's not going to die, honey," Daddy said.
"How do you know that?" I asked. "You didn't see him."
"Because I know how much you love him. I can see it in your eyes, I can hear it in your voice. And I know that your mom loves me just as much, and even if I were hurt at badly as Jim, I'd do everything I could to come back to her. Jim is a strong young man, and he has the love of his life waiting for him. It may take a long time for him to recover, but I know he's going to be all right. Besides, just before your mom and I left, I called the church, told them Jim had been beaten badly, and to put both of you on the prayer chain."
I was astonished. This turn around in my dad was TOTALLY unexpected. But I held onto it. Right now, I needed all the strength I could get.
I had no idea the impact of what was happening with my dad and me was having on the people around us. Mom and the Mason's were just looking at dad and me. About that time the doctor came out of the area where Jim was being treated.
"Are the parents here?" he asked.
Mrs. Mason grabbed my hand, and Mr. Mason's and said, "We're his parents, and this is...this is my sons partner. What can you tell us?"
A strange look crossed the doctors face, and then he began, "Your son, and, uh, partner, has been beaten very badly. I can also tell by the bruises and tearing of the walls of his anus that he has been raped, repeatedly. We have collected what we believe to be three separate samples of semen."
He looked directly at me and said, "I will have to ask you to provide a sample of yours for comparison, to make sure none of it is yours."
"We haven't had sex, sir," I said.
"Be that as it may, to clear yourself, you will still need to do that."
"How is Jim," I asked.
"Right now, he's in a coma. He has three blunt force traumas to his head, and his skull is cracked in two places. His jaw is broken, his arm is broken in two places, and his knee is broken, as are both of his legs. He has three cracked ribs, and two broken ribs. One of the broken ribs almost punctured his lung, but fortunately, it did not. If it had, I don't know if he would have made it to the hospital. The back of his throat is bruised, where he was brutalized, and his anus is torn badly. His physical wounds will heal. The only thing I'm concerned about is that one of the skull fractures was bad enough to bruise his brain. That's why he's in a coma. I have no idea when, or if, he will wake up. And when he does, there's no guaranty that he'll remember anything about this attack, that he'll remember any of you. There's no guaranty that he will not be permanently brain damaged. Whoever did this to him was savage. Personally, I hope he does wake up, and can remember who did this to him. I'd like to to see those people locked up for a long time."
"Can we see him," Mrs. Mason asked.
"Yes, but we will need to move him to the intensive care unit very soon. I need to get him situated, and under supervision."
"TJ, you come with me," Mrs. Mason said. "Brad, I think you and Randy need to talk," and with that she took me in with her to see Jim.
She caught her breath when she saw him. He had casts on his arm, both legs, his head and chest were bandaged, and he had tubes everywhere. It was very scary. But she walked up to him, and gently patted his hand.
"Jimmy Lee, honey. It's mom, and TJ. We're here, baby. Come back to us, ok, baby? We need you, sweetie, so you come back to us, Jimmy Lee...."
I walked around to the other side of the bed, leaned over and kissed his cheek.
"Jim, come back to me, babe. I NEED you. You can't leave me. I can't spend the rest of my life with you if you leave me."
"That's right, honey, if you leave, and we can't have a wedding for you and TJ. Wake up, honey, ok?"
A wedding? For Jim and me? My head jerked up and I looked at her with a question on my face.
"I know it wouldn't be legal or anything, but, I know it would make the two of you happy if we could have a ceremony, or something, so that the two of you can show the world how much you love each other."
"That's something I've thought about, but we haven't talked about it."
"Jimmy Lee said something at Thanksgiving that he wished there was a way he could marry you. And I've talked to Pastor Scott a couple of times. There's nothing that the church would sanction, but Scott said he would be glad to talk to the two of you about a commitment ceremony, if you were interested," she said.
"Mrs. Mason, that has to be the nicest thing you've ever done for me," I said, tears in my eyes.
"Well, we need to get one thing straight, though. If you're going to marry my son, or commit yourself to him, you're going to have to call me Mom. Got it?"
"Yes ma'am!" I replied.
"Ok, then, son, let's leave, and let Jims other mom, and his dads come see him," and we walked out, arm in arm.
The doctors got Jim moved to an intensive care unit, and the Mason's were told that only family could go back to see him.
"Well, then, that would mean everyone standing in front of you, ma'am," Mom Mason said to the nurse.
"Who are all these people?" the nurse asked.
"Well, I'm his mom, that's his dad, that's his sister, this is his partner, and his partners parents. We're all related, or we will be as soon as we can arrange it," she said.
My parents looked surprised, and happy all at the same time.
Things were starting to look up. Maybe daddy was right after all. I had hope for the first time that day.
I stayed with Jim all day Saturday. His folks and my folks came back one at a time, each offering to let me go home and get some rest. I wasn't interested in that. At one point, my mom asked for my house and car keys so she and daddy could take my car home, and bring me a change of clothes. I told her thanks, gave her the keys and gave her a kiss. I told her to send daddy back before they left.
When he came back, he gave me a kiss on the head and walked over to Jim.
"Jimmy Lee, son. This is Dad Parker. Son, you've got to wake up. We all need you, especially TJ. Please come back to us. I have to apologize to you. I was an ass, and a jerk, and I'm sorry for hitting you, and for hitting TJ, and I'm sorry for putting you in the position to where you wound up here." He was crying, and I saw a tear drop from his face onto Jims hand.
"Oh, Jimmy Lee, I'm so sorry," daddy continued. "Please forgive me, son." And he leaned over and kissed Jim on the cheek. He looked at me, and I could see that he meant what he had said.
"Unnnnnnn," came from the bed.
My dad jerked his head around, and I jumped up from the chair and pushed the call button.
"May I he..."
"He's waking up!!!" I yelled at the nurse.
Two seconds later there were three nurses moving my dad and me out of the way. Sure enough, my Jim was waking up!
"Timmy..." It was weak, but he was calling for me.
"I'm here, Jim. I'm right here," I said.
"Timmy..." and he passed out again.
"Is he ok?" I screamed.
"He just passed out, Mr. Parker," one of the nurses said. "We'll need to increase his pain medication, but he's out of the coma."
"I'll go get the mom's," daddy said. "You stay put, and out of the way," he said to me.
"Daddy," I said.
"Yes," he said, as he turned around.
I ran to him, threw my arms around him, and cried.
"Thank you, daddy. Thank you for being my daddy. Thank you for waking Jim up. Thank you for having faith." I looked up at him, with tears running down my face. "I have never loved you as much as I do right now, daddy."
"I love you too, sport." He hugged me back, tears in his eyes. "But let me go get yours and Jimmy Lee's moms."
Mom and Mom Mason came running down the hall. The nurses told them what had happened, that Jim had passed out when he regained consciousness, probably from the pain. They had increased his pain medication, and he appeared to be sleeping, not in a coma. My mom hugged Mrs. Mason and said, "See, Phyllis. I told you he'd wake up!"
I explained about daddy talking to Jim, what he said, and that Jim had awakened after daddy kissed him on the head. Mom and Mom Mason headed back up the hall so Mr. Mason could come down. Mom told me she and dad were headed to our place and would be back in a little while.
The afternoon dragged by, with Jim still asleep, but, apparently, comfortable. The doctor came and checked on him, and was pleased with Jim's progress. Pastor Scott and Patti came by. They were allowed to come back and we talked for a little while. Our Senior Pastor, Pastor Jenkins, had already come and gone earlier. I told Pastor Scott not to say anything to Jim about a commitment ceremony. I wanted to handle it myself. Patti kissed me on the cheek, and told me how lucky Jim was to have someone like me. I told her that I was the lucky one. They had to leave in order to get back to church for the conference youth rally that night, but Pastor Scott promised that he was going to address what had happened to Jim, why, and what the response of the teens should be.
Throughout the afternoon, Jims folks and I discussed what we would say to Jim if he didn't remember anything, and we decided to not mention the rape part if he didn't remember it. There was no use in overloading him if he didn't remember it.
About 7:30, while Mom Mason was in the room with me, Jim stirred again.
"Timmy..." he said.
"I'm here, baby."
"Where am I?"
"You're in the intensive care unit at the hospital, Jim. Your mom is right here beside me. How do you feel?
"I hurt like hell. I feel like I've been run over. What happened?"
"Can you remember anything, honey," his mom asked.
"The last thing I remember is," he paused, got a slight smile on his face, and continued, "is going to bed last night."
"So you don't remember going running this morning?" I asked.
"No," he said.
"Well, baby, apparently while you were running, you were attacked by two or three people. They beat you up pretty bad."
"If they beat me up, why does my throat hurt so bad?" he asked.
"Trauma of some kind," I responded.
"Oh,"
"Jim," I said.
"Mmmmph," he responded.
"I love you."
"I love you, too, Timmy," and he fell back asleep.
Mom Mason was crying her eyes out. I hugged her and said, "See, mom, he's going to be ok," She went down the hall and told everybody what had happened. All we had to do now was wait.
I stayed all night at the hospital, sleeping only a little at a time. Every time I thought I heard Jim move, I woke up.
I guess I fell asleep about midnight. The next thing I remember was a nurse telling me, "I'm so sorry Mr. Parker. There was nothing we could do for him. He's gone."
My world began crashing. I felt an emptiness that I can't describe. It was like the sun had gone out, all the heat in the world was gone, and a great weight and sadness descended on me. I turned to the bed, and they had already moved him out of the room.
"Where did you take him?" I screamed. "Where's my Jim?"
The sobs were shaking me all over. I felt like I was going to puke.
"Mr. Parker. Mr. Parker. Wake up, Mr. Parker. I think you're having a bad dream." It was the duty nurse.
"Jim...is he?"
"He's just fine, Mr. Parker. But you look pretty rough. Are you all right?"
"I dreamed he had died," I said through a sob.
"Well, I'm no doctor, but I've read Mr. Iverson's chart. Unless something really, really weird happens, he should be ok. I mean, the TV could launch itself across the room, fall on his head and kill him, but, I think that we've pretty much decided that physically, nothing from his, uh, incident, is now serious enough to be lethal. That, and you're here, I'm sure he's going to be fine. You get some rest, like he is. OK?"
"Yes, ma'am. Thank you. Thank you for everything," I said.
"You're welcome, Mr. Parker," she said as she left.
I watched Jim closely for a while. It was 1:15am. I felt like it was going to be a very long night for me.
Jim did wake up about 2:30am, and we talked a little.
"Timmy, there's something that you're not telling me about what happened, isn't there?"
"Why would you think that," I asked.
"I can see it in your eyes," he said.
"You know I can't lie to you, Jim, but I really would rather not say right now."
"What's the matter? Am I going to be paralyzed? Am I going to die?"
"No, no, baby, nothing like that. The doctors think you're going to make a fully recovery. But you really shouldn't try to talk. Your jaw is broken, and they've got it wired together right now. The more you talk, the worse it's going to hurt."
"I'm scared, Timmy," he said.
"I know, baby. Me too."
"Will you hold me?"
"Let me check with the nurse to make sure it's ok."
I called and one of the nurses came down. I could tell by the look on her face she didn't approve, but I didn't care. She helped me get onto the bed with Jim, and I put my arm across his stomach, so he could feel me. The nurse left.
"I love you Jim."
"I've never love anybody as much as I love you," he said.
"Timmy, please tell me what happened. Stuff is starting to come back to me, but it's all a big blur."
"Well, apparently, while you were running, you were attacked. The doctor has reason to think that at least three people were involved, but they beat you up pretty bad. "
"I hurt all over, Timmy. What did they do to me?"
"Well, babe, you were hit in the head three times, causing two fractures, one of which bruised your brain. Like I said earlier, your jaw is broken, your other arm is broken in two places, both your legs are broken, and your left knee is too. You have three cracked ribs, and two broken ribs, one of which almost punctured your lungs."
"Oh, my God!" Jim said.
"I know, baby, it's bad, but you're going to be fine."
"No," he said, "I just had a flash of memory," and he started crying.
"What's the matter baby? I told you, you're going to be fine."
"I'll never be fine," he said. "Now I remember why my throat hurts."
I couldn't say anything.
"When were you going to tell me?" he asked, a little anger in his voice.
"Jim, baby, we didn't know how much you would remember. The doctor said you could possibly not remember any of us, much less what happened to you. Your mom and dad and I figured that the less shock you had, the more time you could recover. We were just trying to protect you baby."
"Oh," he said softly. "I guess I would have handled it the same."
"Honey, you've got to quit talking. I know your jaw is hurting."
"It doesn't hurt that much. What else did they do?" he asked.
"Apparently, you were raped repeatedly in your mouth, and your butt," I said.
"I thought my ass hurt strangely," he said. "Did anybody see... wait...black shirts."
"What?" I asked
"Somebody that hit me was wearing a black shirt, and, and,"
"And what, baby?"
"I can remember getting fucked in the ass, and somebody laughing."
"Jim, honey, you need to rest. Maybe rest will help you remember more."
"I want to kill them," he said. "They stole my gift to you," he said and burst into tears.
"Baby, as far as I'm concerned, you're still a virgin. You didn't willingly give yourself to them, did you?"
"No," he said, sniffling a little.
"You were saving yourself for me in your heart, and your mind. In those places, you have not been raped. Sex isn't just a physical thing you know. It's a meeting of the soul. Our souls haven't touched that deeply, yet, and, so, as far as I'm concerned, you're still my virginal Jim." Then I lowered my voice, and in a conspiratorial way said, "Well, except for the shower last night."
"Hey, that wasn't sex either," he said.
"Maybe not, but you touched my soul," I said.
"And you mine," he relied.
"Jim, this is not how I wanted to do this, but I've got to get this settled."
He looked at me a little fearfully.
"What?" he asked.
"Hold on, I'm going to do this as close to right as I can," I said as I got off the bed.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
I got down on the floor by his right hand (the one that was not broken) took his hand in mine and said, "James Lee Iverson, I love you with all my heart, all my soul, with all that I am. I know that right now I don't have much to offer, but what I have is yours. Would you do me the greatest honor of my life, and be my life partner? Will you commit yourself to me at a gathering of our friends and family? Will you share your life and love with me?"
"Is this a marriage proposal?" he asked, incredulously?
"Well, since the law of the land wouldn't recognize our marriage, it's as close as I can come," I said.
"Then I accept," he said. "Where's my ring?" He asked, and then laughed, which made him hurt.
"Oh, Jim, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to...."
"Shut up and kiss me, loverboy," he said.
There was a sniffle behind me, and I turned and saw the nurse that had helped me earlier.
"That was the most beautiful, romantic thing I've ever seen. I hope that when I'm proposed to, it's half as romantic, and beautiful as what I just saw. I'm happy for both of you."
I just smiled and leaned over and kissed Jim.
"But, I'm here on business, gentlemen. I need to check Mr. Iverson's bandages."
I was on cloud nine!! I was engaged!! Well, as close to it as the situation allowed. But Jim and I were going to commit ourselves to each other.
He looked at me and said, "You know that means we're gonna wait until the honeymoon."
"That is what I was dreaming of, but I didn't know how to make it happen. Actually, your mom gave me the idea. She has already talked to Pastor Scott about what you and I could do in place of a wedding."
"She WHAT?" Jim said.
"That's what she told me," I said.
"OK, Mr. Iverson, you seem to be ok for now. I know you're all happy and everything, but you still need to be careful. You're going to be several months healing up from all of this."
"OK, nurse, I'll be careful, and calm down, but, only on one condition," he said.
"What's that?" she asked.
"That you call me Jimmy Lee, and him TJ. This Mr. Stuff is too formal."
"OK, Jimmy Lee. But I have a question."
"What's that?"
"If you're Jimmy Lee, and he's TJ, why do you call him Timmy, and he call you Jim?"
So we explained how we came to call each other what we do. Then she asked us an unexpected question.
"So, if you're getting married, or whatever, which of you is going to change your name?"
"Haven't thought that far ahead," I said. "Jeez!! We just got engaged, and already were having to make decisions!!"
We all three laughed at that.
I finally got Jim to sleep. I rested, but I don't think I ever really slept. I was entirely too happy. __________________________________________________________________
Well, was that exciting enough for ya? The next chapter is not far off!!
TJ