The following is a work of fiction. Meaning, that, the people and events are not real, and never happened, except in my mind. You may recognize this story as EXTREMELY familiar. Well, it is. Had to fix some things, but here is the revised version. I really appreciated all the kind comments the first time around. Let me know what you think of the improvements.
If you're under 18, or if it's illegal to read this kind of story where ever you are, don't do it. Comments, and constructive criticisms, are greatly appreciated. Flames will be deleted.
Happy reading, TJ _______________________________________________________________
Isn't it strange the way life goes sometimes? I mean, never in a million years would I have expected to be where I am today. I've got my own company, a beautiful home, great friends, and the man of my dreams, who loves me more, and shows his love, every day. My life has its problems. Jim and I have our disagreements, and my business doesn't always make as much money as I wish it would, but overall, life is ok.
Let me introduce myself. My name is Randolph Timothy Parker, Jr.; my friends call me TJ, and Jim calls me Timmy. I like when Jim calls me Timmy. It makes me feel safe and secure for some reason. I'm an average kind of guy, 5'10", 180 lbs, and hazel eyes, brown hair, in a bowl cut. I also have a goatee. In high school, I was LOTS thinner. When I graduated, I weighed 140 lbs and had a 29" waist. Jim said I looked sickly, in a tanish kind of way. (LOL)
Jim is James Lee Iverson. Growing up, everybody called him Jimmy Lee. In fact, I called him Jimmy Lee until the day I knew I loved him. We've been best friends all through life. We met the first day of first grade, and became fast friends. All through school, we almost always were in the same classes. When we got to junior high, and high school, we did everything we could to be in the same classes. We didn't always get what we wanted. At least most of our days, we were near each other.
Our families went to the same church. My dad and Jim's played golf together, and our mom's were in Junior League together. One of my younger brothers actually married Jim's younger sister. Jim and I discovered girls together and, as far as I know, never had sexual thoughts about each other until we were juniors in high school. If it hadn't been for my now ex-girlfriend Laura, we might not have ever found out.
Growing up, Jim learned to love golf like his dad. I've only acquired an affinity for it in the last six or eight years. Jim's a very intelligent person, and very likeable. He was in a bad accident when he was young, that wound up leaving two small scars on his face, which made him quite shy, and he kind of stayed away from girls. I don't even notice them anymore. I just see him. He is, after all, the other half of who I am.
Anyway, while Jim played golf, I played at baseball. I was just non-athletic. I mean, I play tennis well enough to be bad; I can hold my own at basketball and I was passable at baseball, but none of that interested me. I had my studies and my music. That was the other thing where we were different. I learned to play the piano at a young age. Fortunately for me, Jim always seemed to be nearby to come to my defense when I got picked on for being a "fairy" because I played the piano. He was proud of the fact that I could play and encouraged me to keep at it. Even when I'd get real upset because of some kids teasing, he was there to encourage me to go on. I guess you could say that my playing the piano is why we moved in together. But I'll tell you about that a little later. I guess that playing the piano is one of the many gifts God gave me, Jim being the best gift.
So, then there was the day I found out I was in love with Jim. I had been dating Laura, a senior, for about four months. Jim warned me about her, said he thought she was using me. I was in love (heat? Is there a difference sometimes?) and blind to any of her faults. I think I was also in love with being in love, which blinded me, even further. At the time I was working for a local grocery story. Jim worked at the drug store his dad owned (which, by the way, was in the same shopping center as the grocery store where I worked). My parents had agreed to pay for half of any car I wanted, so I had been working at odd jobs since I was a freshman to buy my car. It was a brand spanking new 1980 Ford Mustang, gray with red interior. I LOVED that car. I paid my own insurance, and, since I had saved up the money, we paid cash for the car. (No small feat in 1980!!) But it was all mine!
Jim and I would take our breaks together, and sometimes, Laura would come by the store while we were on break. Jim didn't go out of his way to be nice to her. Like I said, he thought she was using me. Laura lived with her mom, her brother Mark, who was a junior, her brother Steven, who was 11, and her sister Megan, who was 6. Their dad had walked out on the family when Megan was only 2, and their mom did the best she could. They had to rely on food stamps, but would never let anybody know that. I know, only because her mom came through the grocery story one day and I bagged her groceries, and I saw how she paid for them. As I was putting them in the car, she asked me to please not let the kids know I had found out. She was a proud woman, in the good sense.
Laura's grandparents lived in town, and they were both old, very old. In fact, in October that year, her grandma got very sick. The hospital in the next town was not equipped at that time to take care of a person in her condition, so she was sent to another town, forty-five minutes away. I would take Laura, and sometimes Steven and Megan, up to see their grandma at least twice a week. Grandma died the week before Thanksgiving, and Grandpa went into a tailspin. He, too wound up getting sick, and, in January, was put into the hospital.
I knew how lean Christmas was going to be for them that year, and how sad. Without anybody but Jim knowing, because I drug him along and made him help me, I bought Santa for the entire family that year. Toys and clothes for Steven and Megan, clothes and a pair of boots for Mark, clothes, makeup and a hair dryer for Laura, and clothes, plus a $200 gift certificate to the grocery store, for Laura's mom. The most special gift I bought that Christmas was for Laura. It was a pre-engagement ring. Jim relented and helped me pick one that was pretty, and not too much money. I figured he was finally warming up to her.
I got Jim an expensive, all leather wallet that he had wanted, and a watch I saw that I thought would look good on him. My family, mom, dad, and three younger brothers, had a kind of slim Christmas from me that year, but my mom found out why, and cried. She said what a kind, giving person I was. Jim said I was being duped, and I slugged him and didn't talk to him for three days, until he came by, looking as if he'd been crying and apologized. We made up. Hey, it was Christmas Eve. We went back to being best friends. I gave him his gifts and he gave me a 14 karat gold necklace with an anchor pendant on it. He had seen me looking at it when I bought Laura's ring. It was very thoughtful of him and I almost cried.
"I'm sorry about giving you shit about Laura," he said. "You won't hear another peep out of me about it."
"That's ok. You just don't know her as well as I do," I said. "If you would just spend more time with her, you'd really get to like her."
"We'll see. I just don't want anything to ever come between our friendship again. I can't take not being your friend."
"I know," I replied. "These have been the three loneliest days of my life, except for Laura, of course."
"Of course," he said.
I wasn't sure about his tone when he said that, but I just let it slide. I had my best friend back, and I was gonna give my girl a pre-engagement ring that night. I was flying high. I called Laura's mom and got her to meet me at the grocery story parking lot, where I gave her the "Santa" I'd bought for her kids. She cried and kept telling me thank you. I told her not to worry about it, that it was my pleasure. She told me she had gotten an anonymous gift certificate in the mail that day and was sure I was behind it, but couldn't prove it. I put on my best cherub innocent look and said, "What gift certificate?" She said I didn't lie very well, and then she kissed me on the cheek.
That night, on the way home from the Christmas Eve Candlelight Service at church, I stopped in the parking lot, and said to Laura, "I've got something special for you."
"What is it?" She asked.
I handed her the box. Her eyes got kind of big and watery. She opened it up and hesitated. I should have gotten a clue, but dumb me, I didn't. "It's...it's...so pretty," was what she mustered up.
"It's just a pre-engagement ring," I said. "My class ring won't be here until the spring and I just had to give you a ring to wear, to let everyone know how we feel about each other." I was beaming.
She put the ring on, looked at the diamond chip sparkle, and said, "It really is beautiful TJ. Thank you so much." In retrospect, I can see that she was uncomfortable, but I just thought she was overcome with my love. Like I said, stupid me!
Her Grandpa was put into the hospital in mid January with pneumonia. He had gone progressively down hill after Grandma's death, and, two weeks after he went into the hospital, he died. He was buried on February 4, 1981. I remember that day, all too well. I had spent time with Grandpa, what with carrying Laura, and sometimes Steven and Megan, to see him. He was a nice old man. He was very friendly, but also very lonely because of Grandma's death. I could tell that he had no will to fight, and one of the only fights Laura and I had was about that, and that I didn't think he had the will to live. She was mad and crying. We barely got civil before I dropped her off. I think that was the night I started seeing her in a different light. Mind you, I was still head over heels in love, but I thought I was seeing something new.
Boy, was I right. And, unfortunately, at that time anyway, so was Jim. On February 5, it was a Thursday, I called Laura to see how she was.
"She's not here TJ," her mom told me.
"Do you know where she is?" I asked.
"I'm not sure." There was something in her voice that told me there was something she wasn't telling me.
"Well, tell her I called, and that I love her. I'll see her at school tomorrow." Her mom said she would. I was looking forward to seeing Laura at school tomorrow. It was Friday, and I figured we'd make plans for the weekend.
I was walking to fifth period (out of six) with Jim, when I saw Laura walking up the hall towards us, talking to this guy who was also a senior. Jim kind of went stiff. Laura saw us, said something to the guy, and he looked at me, said something to her, and turned down the hall. Laura came up to us. "Hi TJ. Hi Jimmy Lee."
"Hi there gorgeous," I said, leaning in to kiss her. She stiffened a little.
"Mom told me you called last night."
"Yeah, I was just checking to see if you were all right. I also wanted to see if you want to join Jimmy Lee and I for a burger after school. By the way, where were you last night?" I asked.
"I was...uh...at the store." She said. Jim had this look on his face, like he was really angry.
"What's with you?" I asked him.
"Oh, nothing." He replied, obviously pissed about something.
"What?" Not this again. I thought he was starting to like Laura.
"Drop it, TJ!"
"OK," I said. I turned back to Laura, "So sweetie, how about it? You, Jimmy Lee, me, burgers, after school?"
"Uh, can I meet you there?" She said. "There's...uh...something I gotta do right after school."
"Sure," I said. "How's about 4 o'clock, then?"
"See ya there," she replied. "By the way, I'm leaving school early today to help mom with some stuff over at Grandpa's."
"Do you guys need any help this weekend?" I asked her.
"I'll tell you about that at the Burger Shack," she replied.
"OK," I said. "See ya, love ya." She just smiled, but didn't say anything. I thought it was strange. Usually she said she loved me back. But I thought, what with her grandpa dying and all, that she was preoccupied.
"What is up with you?" I asked Jimmy Lee.
"Oh, nothing," he said, "Just...never mind."
"Did I do something to piss you off?" I asked. The bell rang for the next class just as we walked into the door.
"No," he said, "Maybe I'll tell you tonight, after the Burger Shack."
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. As we were driving out of the parking lot (I took Jimmy Lee home every day), he asked me why not plan to spend the night at his place. I agreed and we ran by my house. I left a note for my mom, picked up a change of clothes, and we headed to the Burger Shack. When we got there, Laura was already inside. She was sitting at a booth with that guy I saw her with earlier.
Jimmy Lee beat me in the door, walked up to her and said, "What a bitch. In public, you're pathetic."
The guy she was with started to say something, but I think he reconsidered when he saw the look Jimmy Lee gave him, and saw Jimmy's clenched fist.
"Hey," I said, "What the hell is goin' on here Jimmy Lee? Don't you talk like that to my girl!"
"I don't want to be your girl anymore," Laura said. It was like somebody hit me with a truckload of bricks, right in the chest. I went cold all over.
"What did you say?" I asked her.
"I said I don't want to be your girl anymore. I don't think I've ever been in love with you and I want to date other people." My world was crashing. I couldn't breathe. Here, the girl I had planned to propose to on graduation night was dumping me, in public.
"I'm sorry, TJ. But...thanks for all you did for me and my family." She reached in her pocket and handed me back the ring. "Maybe you can give this to someone who loves you back."
The guy she was with, Martin, took her hand and said, "Let's go babe." I sat down, hard, in the booth. Jimmy Lee looked worried.
"Are you gonna be ok, Timmy?" He NEVER called me Timmy.
"Get me outta here Jimmy Lee!" I said, my eyes starting to tear up. He grabbed me by the arm and got me out of the restaurant.
"Give me your keys, TJ." I complied. I didn't know where I was, nor did I care.
I hurt. I couldn't think. All I could do was...nothing.
"Where are you taking me?" I asked.
"My house."
"Oh."
"Are you gonna be ok?" Jimmy Lee asked me.
"I don't think so." Once we were both in my car, I turned to Jimmy Lee and asked, "So that's why you stiffed up in school today, and, why you said what you did to her in the Burger Shack?"
"Yeah," he said kind of quietly.
"Why didn't you say something?" I asked him.
"Because on Christmas Eve, I told you I wasn't gonna say anything else about her. I had heard that she was seeing someone on the sly, but I didn't want to believe it, for your sake. But today, when I saw her in the hall with Martin, I knew it was true."
"But why didn't you say anything?" I asked again, the tears starting to flow.
"Would you have believed me, or would you have defended the woman you loved?" he said.
"Oh, Jimmy Lee, how could I have been so wrong?" I sobbed.
"Hold on, buddy, we're almost home." He said. Moments later he pulled into his driveway, grabbed my stuff out of the back of the car, came and got me, and walked me inside.
"Jimmy Lee, TJ...is that you?" His mom asked, as she came around the corner. "TJ!!! Are you ok??" She was on me in a flash.
"He's ok, mom, well, kind of. Laura just dumped him in front of God and everybody at the Burger Shack."
"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," she said. "Is there anything I can do?"
"I'm gonna take him to my room, and we'll just go from there, mom."
I was still in a fog, and felt like a fat man was sitting on my chest. I knew that I was gonna come unglued in a second, and Jimmy Lee could tell that. He pushed me down the hall, closed and locked his door, and wrapped me in the biggest hug I'd ever had. I fell apart. It was those horrible, snotty, heaving sobs. I was wailing. I was drowning in my hurt. But Jimmy Lee held me, and rubbed my back, and my hair. He somehow moved us over to his bed, and sat us down, without ever letting go of me. I just buried my head in his shoulder and cried. I don't remember what he said to me, just that he was intent on making me feel better.
"Oh, Jimmy Lee, it hurts so badly," I cried.
"I know, Timmy. I wish I could take the pain away. I'd give anything to make you feel better. I can't stand to see you hurt like this. I really want to go kick her ass."
"You know you can't," I said.
"I know, but I knew she was gonna do this to you someday. I just wish I could have done something to prevent it."
"You tried, man, you tried. But I was so blinded by being in love, and, I think, being in love with being in love, that I didn't want to see what you were telling me. You're such a good friend. How do you put up with me?" I asked through my tears.
"Because I love you," he said. And then he almost choked, looking like he was strangling.
"You what?" I asked. He hung his head down, and let out a big sigh. He thought for a minute, and then looked at me.
"Timmy, you're my best friend in the world. Of course I love you. Don't you love me?"
"Somehow, I got the impression you meant something else," I said. There was silence for a while. My mind was racing. Could Jimmy Lee be gay? Could I be? Why would he say that he loved me the way that he said it? Did I love him? Of course I loved him; he was my best friend. Did I have deeper feelings for him? I thought about all the time we spent together, even when I was dating Laura, and, maybe that was one reason she wanted out of our relationship, because of the time I spend with Jimmy Lee.
"Thank you for being such a good friend, Jim," I said.
He jerked his head up and looked at me kind of strangely. "What did you call me?"
"Jim." I was looking into his eyes as I began to explain. "I think I just figured out that the times when your love, whether it's in friendship or maybe something more... when your love for me shows through the most, you call me Timmy." He started to say something, but I cut him off with a waive of my hand. "And I just realized...what I feel for you goes beyond friendship. I think I've know it for a long time, but, the way you've treated me today, the things you've said...I don't know, Jim, but, maybe we should explore these feelings."
He had a strange look on his face. I couldn't quite figure it out.
"That is, unless you don't want too," a tear forming in my eye.
"Don't want to? Don't want to?" he asked, incredulously. "I've been trying to make myself NOT love you, because I wanted you to be my friend and didn't want to jeopardize our friendship for anything. But I have to admit, I'd love to explore these feelings!"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Suddenly I felt a bit apprehensive. "OK, but we gotta have some ground rules," I said.
"What kind of ground rules?" he asked.
"Well, this may sound old fashioned, but I have always dreamed of saving myself for my wedding night. I know that if we wind up having a relationship that it will never end up with a wedding, but, let's wait on sex." I looked at him to gage his reaction.
"What about kissing?" he asked. I smiled and leaned over, and gently pressed my lips to his. He lifted his hands up to my face, put his arms around my neck, as my arms went around his waist. I opened my mouth, licked his teeth, and suddenly, our tongues touched. It was like I felt an electric shock! Never had I ever felt anything like this when I kissed Laura. We kissed for several minutes, without stopping, rubbing each other all over.
I broke the kiss, sucked in a huge gasp of breath and said, "This is why I want ground rules. If we aren't careful, things might go too far, and you're far too important to me for me to want our friendship to get screwed up because of sex. That's why I want to wait for a special night, one when we know it's right."
"I agree," he said, "but let's not keep ourselves from kissing. I liked it too much! You make me see stars!"
I laughed and said, "All you saw was stars? You made me see stars and rockets, and explosions. Maybe I'm not a good enough kisser." He shut me up with another kiss that lasted several minutes.
"KNOCK, KNOCK" came from the door. "Boys, are ya'll all right in there?" It was Jimmy Lee's mom. We had near about jumped out of our skins.
"Yeah mom...uh...we were just being quiet," Jimmy Lee replied.
"TJ, why don't you plan on spending the night with us?" She asked through the door.
Jimmy Lee went and unlocked the door. "Uh, mom, I kind of figured that Laura was gonna dump TJ this afternoon because of something I saw at school today, so I had already asked him. I hope you don't mind me not asking you first."
"Jimmy Lee, you're so thoughtful and considerate. You know it's OK with me!" She peered around him at me, and gave me a reassuring smile. "What would you boys like for supper?"
"Pizza!" we said at the same time, and then busted out laughing.
"Oh, TJ, it's good to see you laugh. I know it may not seem like it now, but the pain will go away someday."
"Well, Mrs. Mason, Jimmy Lee has a way of making me feel better no matter what. I feel better already. You're right though; Jimmy Lee's a special guy. I'm lucky to have a friend as good as him."
"Well, you two seem to have a special bond, like you were brothers," she said. "I've always thought of you as my son too."
"And you're like a mom to me, Mrs. Mason," I said.
"Well, you might want to call your mom to let her know what has happened. She may hear it from one of your other friends and you know she would be worried."
"That's a good idea, Mrs. Mason. I'll call her right now." I called my mom and told her what had happened. She was concerned, but was glad that I was with Jimmy Lee. I told her I'd see her sometime Saturday. She said she loved me and I hung up. Jimmy Lee said his mom had ordered the pizza and we went back to his room.
As soon as the door was shut and locked, he had his arms around my neck, trying to suck my tongue out of my mouth. We stood there and kissed for several minutes, the I broke away again.
"What?" he asked.
"More ground rules," I said.
"Fire away," he grinned.
"Number two, is, we've got to work real hard at keeping this a secret." It would be great to be able to show everyone the love I had for him, but life was tough enough without getting both our butts kicked every day.
"I know that," he said.
"Number three," I said and gave him a cheeky grin.
"Yes?"
"Kiss me, you dip!!"
And did he ever!!! _____________________________________________________________________________
That's the end of chapter one. Sorry it's so long, but you really need the background.