Love and Longing

By Denzil Cuddy

Published on Oct 21, 2000

Gay

Hi, well here we are at part five! Wow, just let me say thank you to everyone for your wonderful e-mails. I really do appreciate them. So, keep them coming!

As usual I do not in any way or form know Nsync, or any other famous people that may show up in my story. I am not implying anything about any ones sexuality, this is purely fiction from my own little deranged mind. So, please, do not sue me. hehe. If you should not be reading this don't, if you do anyway, don't blame me if you get in trouble. O.k. enough of that on with the show.

Oh, I went to the concert last night, and it was GREAT. I had awesome seats, and loved it all. It was pretty much the exact same as the HBO special. LOL I wanted them to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" Sigh. oh well. Hope ya'll enjoy part five, and look for part six to be out shortly.

Joey woke up curled into a little ball in the center of his couch. He was shivering violently and quickly pulled the blanket off the back of the couch around him. He shuffled into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of vodka from the bottle in the fridge. He quickly took a gulp of the clear liquid and held the cool glass to his temple. He heads for the bathroom and is just ready to step into the shower when the phone rings. He downs the rest of the glass of vodka and runs into the living room.

"Hello." His voice is rough, and he is a little shocked by it.

"Joey, how are you this morning man?" Chris asks.

Joey sighs as he recalls Chris's little visit the previous evening. He does not want to have to listen to another lecture about drinking. He knows he does not have a problem, he just drinks a little to help him get through all the shit he has to face during the course of the day.

"I'm good, Chris, and you?"

"Well, other than being worried about you I'm fine. I'm going to swing by in about half an hour, do you want to go with me to grab a bite to eat?"

"Sure, I'm just about to get into the shower, so just let yourself in when you get here. I'll be ready shortly."

"O.k. by" Chris says as Joey clicks the "off" button on his phone.

He tosses the phone into the corner and quickly heads into the living room to pick up the little dark brown wooden box off the coffee table. His fingers caress the smooth hand carved surface. The box is adorned with a simple pattern of lines, but it has a deep varnish and almost seems to glow. Joey heads back into the bathroom, box in toe. He shuts and locks the bathroom door behind him.

JC

I snuggle up closer to Lance. I am in that half asleep/half awake state that is so perfect. The world is soft and warm, and so is Lance. I smell his cologne and do not want to wake up. I want to just hold him in my arms like this forever. Snuggled in the soft sheets and warm blankets. The world is like some distant memory, it's worries and concerns seem so very far away. I sigh as I finally open one eye, and then the other.

I nuzzle into Lance's neck and gently kiss and bite the soft sensitive skin there. He giggles and snuggles back into me.

"Good morning." I whisper into his ear.

"Yeah, it is a good morning." He says as he turns over and lies face to face with me.

"So, what do you want to do today?" I ask as I push his hair back from his eyes. He looks so content it is amazing.

"Anything, as long as I get to spend the day with you." He says as he leans forward and places a little kiss on my lips. "Oh, but no Chinese food. I am so sick of eating that with you."

I chuckle a little before I lean forward and silence him with a kiss. I used to wonder how to get Lance to shut up when he was going off on one of his infamous rants. I now have the perfect solution. After a moment Lance pulls away, and laughs at me a little bit.

"Hon, I'm not saying the kiss wasn't a great one, but we both need to brush our teeth and get rid of this morning breath." I chuckle and he starts laughing again. We both roll out of bed and make our way laughing toward the bathroom.

We quickly brush our teeth, and somehow wind up in the shower together. It's a nice shower.

I walk out of the steam filled room, with a towel wrapped around my waist. I head over to the closet, Lance just a step behind, and look for the outfit for today.

"So, what are we going to do today Lance?" I say as I look at the full closet before me. "I really need to know in order to pick an outfit."

Lance wraps his arms around me and rests his chin on my shoulder. He then pulls the towel away and takes a step back. I spin around on my heel and make a grab for the thin fabric that had been my only veil from the world. Lance jerks it away at the last moment, and holds it behind his back.

"I think you should go just like that love." Lance says while he smiles. "I know I would have a smile on my face all day long. Oh, we could go to the mall, can you imagine the stir that would cause."

"Lance, no." I say as I walk up to him and kiss him. "Now give me my towel." I make a grab for it, but Lance somehow eludes me. He runs around the bed and out of the bedroom.

I laugh as I begin the chase. We make it down the stairs and our the back door. We are running around the pool when I manage to pull off Lance's towel as well. I consider just wrapping it around myself but discard the idea. I fling his towel off to the side and manage to grab his waist and throw us both into the pool. The cold water is quite a shock after the hot shower, and the little run we have been on. Lance and I gasp in shock as we come up for air.

"I'm going to get you for that my pretty." Lance says as he swims toward me. I just laugh as I easily outpace him.

"Catch me if you can." With that I swim to the edge of the pool and pull myself out. I grab the dry towel I had thrown to the side and make my way languidly inside the house. I am chuckling as I walk up the stairs when I hear Lance make his way in.

I am pulling on a loose long sleeve blue shirt when Lance makes his way into the bedroom with two big glasses of iced tea. He is still naked, and I can not help but smile. He sits the glasses down on the nightstand and pulls me into a kiss. The doorbell manages to shatter the moment. I pull away with a sigh.

"Well, since you are naked I suppose I will get rid of who ever is at the door." Lance just smiles and nods his head. As I walk away I reach back and give him a good smack on his bare bottom and run for the door. I open the door laughing as I look around. The laughter dies in my throat as I see Chris standing there with Joey.

"Hi, guys." I say as I hold the door open a little wider. "Should I go and hide the good china before you come in Joey?"

"No, I don't think that will be necessary. I came to apologize." Joey hangs his head a little as he says this.

"Oh, come in." I say as I step to the side and they walk in.

I look at Chris questioningly but he just smiles. I close the door softly behind them. I head into the living room as I see Lance making his way downstairs. He is in a pair of green nylon shorts, and a blue button down shirt that he has not bothered to button. He pauses when he sees Chris and Joey sitting in the living room, but I motion him on down. Lance and I sit on the love seat across from the to the side of the couch, and wait.

"Guys," Joey says as he looks up. His eyes are red, and he looks very tired. "I am so sorry for the way I acted the other night. I had some other stuff on my mind and you guys just shocked me. I didn't mean to take my frustration out on you, but you have to admit you did just kind of drop it on us all at once." Joey drops his head again and looks at the floor. I notice his hands are shaking a little and I feel bad. I can not help it, I know I should not feel bad, but I do.

"Joe, I am sorry that I hit you." I say as I take Lance's hand in my own. "I over-reacted just as badly as you did. What I did was out of line, I can forgive you if you can forgive me."

"Of course, Josh." He says as he looks right into my eyes. "I forgive you, I deserved it."

"Well, I am glad that is all over with." Lance says as he stands and looks around at everyone. "So, who wants to go get lunch?"

I immediately raise my hand and so does Chris. Joey raises his hand too, and I breath a sigh of relief. Things are back to normal, and it is great. I look around at my friends and grin.

JUSTIN

Justin walks into the tall imposing hospital with his mom by his side. In the lobby a white coat clad woman greets them with a smile and a handshake.

"Justin I am so glad that you could make it." The lady says as she shakes his hand warmly. "Lynn, I am so glad to see you again." She pulls Lynn into warm embrace.

"Jane, you know we wouldn't miss it." Lynn says as they make their way to the wall of elevators. "You know how difficult it is to get a free day to do this, without having the press hounding our heels." Lynn laughs a bit at this.

"Thank you for inviting me Jane." Justin says as they walk on to an elevator and Jane pushes the button for the fifth floor. "It means a lot to me to be able to help like this. Are many of them terminal?"

"Yes," Jane says with a sad smile. "I am afraid several of them are. You just don't know what this little visit of yours will do for their spirits. We have several cards and pictures for you from the last time that you were here. Do you remember Rebecca the little girl with Leukemia?"

"Yeah, she was so sad, and lonely." Says Justin as a sad look falls over his face. "I remember I gave her a hug before I left and she said she loved me. Is she still here?" There is a slight tremor in his voice as he asks.

"No," Jane watches Justin's face fall. Most of the time if someone as serious as Rebecca is no longer at the hospital she has passed on. "It was the most amazing think Justin. She went into remission, she is at home with her parents. They are starting her back to school this August."

Justin's face lit up at this news. All too often the story for these kids ended in an all too different fashion. There was a slight ding as the elevator doors opened and the brightly painted walls of the children's ward met their eyes. Justin was still smiling at the news about Rebecca as he and the other two make their way down the hall.

Justin and his mom walk out of the hospital and into the warm afternoon sunlight. They both had wide smiles plastered to their faces. They had spent several hours with the children. Justin had sang some songs for them and they in turn had sung some songs for Justin. All of the children seemed happier and much more energetic than before. Justin felt some sense of contentment and purpose, as he always did after such visits.

"Mom," he says as he takes her hand, "thanks for talking me into starting this whole thing a while back."

"Oh, honey it did not take much convincing." She replies messing up his hair. They both chuckle a little as they make their way to the car.

Justin grabs his cell out of the dash as he sits down in the passenger side. He looks at the little display and sees that JC had called just a few minutes ago. Britney had called a good hour ago, and that was pretty much it. Not many people had this number to call after all. He quickly dials the number for Britney's cell phone.

"Hello." She answers on the third ring.

"Hey sweetie, how are ya?" Justin says with his smile evident in his voice.

"Hey baby, I'm on a plane circling over Orlando even as we speak. Sorry to surprise you but I got an earlier flight." She pauses letting Justin absorb the information. "Management thought I should. Apparently some on hacked into their system and found out when my flight was. It was a nightmare." She chuckles a little at her not so fond memories of the last few days of her tour.

"Wow, someone actually managed to hack into Jive." Lynn glances at Justin with the question on her face. "Well, Britney I'm on the way to the house with mom, I'll grab my car and meet you at the airport. See ya then love."

"O.k. babe, I'll look for you."

With that they both turn off their phones. Justin turns to his mom to explain the situation with Britney's flight, and to try and calm her down about any stalker situations. Just and Lynn both had seen Britney's body guards. They were very intimidating people. When they finally pulled up in front of the Timberlake residence Justin kissed his mom on the cheek and jumped out the car and quickly pulled away in his own.

JC and Lance

Lance and I sit across the table from Joey and Chris. We have just arrived for dinner, after a long day of talking. We have had lunch together and roamed around the mall. I can not help but notice that Joey is sweating a little, and seems quite jittery. He excuses himself and heads for the restroom. I hope that he is feeling alright. I am pulled from my thoughts by the ringing of my cell phone.

"Hello." I say as I flip it open and bring it to my ear.

"Hey, JC, what are ya'll doing?" Justin asks in his usual chipper voice.

"Well, Lance and I are just getting sitting down to dinner with Joey and Chris." I chuckle a bit.

"Really, wow, I did not expect that." He says in shock. "Well, are ya'll at Lance's or what?"

"No we are at Emilio's you know that little Italian place Joey likes so much." I say as I look around at the others. Where is Joey, he's been gone several minutes.

"Cool, got room for two more?"

"Sure, always." I say. "So, who are you bringing Curly?"

"Oh, just a good old friend of ours who I've just picked up from the air port." Suddenly there is giggling on the phone. I hear a bit of a struggle and then silence for a moment.

"Josh!" Her voice comes over the phone with all of it's usual perkiness. "Hey, I had to catch an early flight. So, what do you say can Justin and I join ya'll?"

"Of course!" I chuckle over the fact that she would even feel the need to ask. "You know that you are always welcome! Why did you have to catch an early flight?" The waiter walks up and I quickly put my hand over the phone. "Lance, just order a bottle of wine, we've got two more coming and we should wait to order till they get here." Lance nods and I go back to listening to Britney.

"Well, it's a bit of a long story how `bout I tell you when we get there?"

"Sure, I'll see you then Brit." With that we both hang up.

"Did I hear you correctly when you said that Britney and Justin will be joining us?" Lance asks as I slide my phone back into my pocket.

"Yeah, that's cool with everyone isn't it?" I ask as I look around and notice that Joey is still missing.

"Yeah, it's cool. Josh," Lance says "does Britney know about us?"

"Yeah," Chris adds in his usual flipish manner. "We don't want to have another big shouting, punching thing here in public." He smiles a bit at my apparent discomfort.

"No, she does not know about Lance, but yes she does know about me." I say as I watch the shock spread on both of their faces. "Well, She, Justin, and I were on the club together for quite some time. We got to be fairly close. She is like my little sister, and Justin is like my little bro. There is nothing about me that they don't know. I don't mean to upset anyone," I reach over and squeeze Lance's hand for just a moment, "but I have known them both for so very long."

"I understand," Lance says as he looks down at the table. "Well, at least we will be sharing now, and for a long time to come. I don't care that they knew before me, that's fine. I'm just glad to finally know." Lance smiles his sweet smile and my heart melts.

"Well, that's cool." Chris says from across the table. "I understand too. From now on, though, anything that can possibly affect the group as a whole we share with each other first. Deal?" Lance and I both nod our agreement.

There is a loud crash from far corner of the room. We all look over to see Joey profusely apologizing to a waiter as the waiter attempts to pick up broken glass and scattered silverware. Joey is flushed and seems to be talking a mile a minute. Finally the waiter convinces him to leave, and he weaves his way over to our table. His walk is steady enough but he seems a bit disoriented as he weaves his way between the table, slowly making his way toward us.

As he sits I notice he is sweating, and that he is shaking just a bit. His eyes are glazed and he looks about a million miles away.

"Joey, are you feeling ok?" I ask after a moment of silence.

"Yeah," He replies as he sips his glass of water. "I feel find, now, thanks for asking JC. Nothing like a little trip to the bathroom to fix what ails ya."

Next: Chapter 6


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