Losing to Win

Losing To Win, Part XV

Losing To Win XV
"The New Beginning"
By Joey E

Well, fans of "Losing To Win", here is the chapter you've been waiting for. I think you will know what I mean as soon as you read it. I am actually very pleased at how it has turned out. So pleased, in fact, that I decided to continue the series another chapter long. So you've got one more installment left after this one. For those of you who are familiar with my other work, I guarantee that this story will end with a happy ending with no break ups and no deaths. (DAMN IT....LOL)

This is a work of fiction. Copyrighted 2005. All rights reserved. If you are under 21 (or 18 in some areas), it's time to exit now. If you are not into reading about high school boys learning about life and love, then take your cue and exit now. Thanks for all the responses.

As soon as Rick left, I hopped into my car to drive to Josh's. This was so weird. Now the day had finally came when Josh wanted me back. But at this point, I didn't realize I would be a totally new situation when he did. I wasn't sure of what I was going to do or say. I just knew by my reactions to Rick that I still had it bad for that damn little guy. And he wanted me. He wanted me. The question was, did I want him? I knew the answer. I knew it was yes. I couldn't allow myself to say it though.

I pulled up and noticed his bedroom light was on through the window. Well, thank god he is home. I got out of my car and took a deep breath before I closed my door. I walked up and rang the doorbell. I heard footsteps come down the stairs. The door opened.

"Steve..." he said, surprised I was there.

"Josh....please, can we talk?"

"Uh, sure, come in," he said. We went right up to his bedroom and I sat down on the bed. He sat down on the desk chair.

"My mom's sleeping, so we gotta be quiet."

"Oh okay, is it all right that I'm here?"

"Yeah," he said, softly. He looked at everything but me.

"Josh..." I said. He still didn't look at me.

"Josh, look at me, bud," I said, tenderly.

He turned his head to look at me. I saw tears in his eyes and my vision started to cloud up as well.

"Did you mean what you said to me earlier?" I asked, softly.

He sniffled. "Yeah, I did. I'm sorry. I know it was bad timing. I know I have no right to do what I did. But I needed you to know. I know I said I wouldn't take you back. And I know it looks like I'm just being a jealous ex-boyfriend who's mad because his ex moved on."

"But aren't you acting that way?" I asked.

"I can't help it, Steve. I don't blame you for saying no to me. I would say no to me too. It's not fair for me to put you in that position. But, you've always told me to speak my mind with you. That's what I am doing now. If you don't want me, I understand. I was just hoping that maybe, just maybe, I had a chance...."

He looked so cute. This is what I wanted him to say. It had come full circle. Two months before, I was saying this to him. I had him right where I wanted him. But I couldn't turn him down. Just like I felt like I had to defend him, moments before, I couldn't turn him down. I loved him. He was my first guy I ever loved.

"I guess that means no. I'm sorry, Steve...I shouldn't ha...."

"Josh, please. Save it and kiss me," I said before I could stop the words from coming out of my mouth.

He looked at me as if I were crazy, as if he didn't believe the words he heard with his ears.

"Huh?" he asked.

I walked over to him slowly. I picked him up and wrapped my arms around him. God he was just like I remembered. His scent was so intoxicated. It was a mix between a little boy sweat, Irish Spring soap, and some sort of shampoo. But, it was all I needed to be taken in again. I kissed him on the lips, strong and hard. He kissed back immediately and wrapped his arms around me. After we broke the kiss, we just stood there, holding each other. This was how it was supposed to be. This was real. That's all it took. I forgot all the anger that I had towards him. I forgot all the bad things that had happened. All I knew was that I was back in the arms of Josh, the man who changed my life forever.

"I missed you, baby," he said, softly.

"Oh, buddy, I missed you, too," I whispered.

"Can you spend the night with me?"

"Uh, I think so," I said, smiling. "Let me call the 'rents."

He handed me the phone. I knew it was a stretch, but I was going to tell my parents the truth about where I was and what I was going to do.

"Hi, Mom, yeah, I'm over at Josh's house."

"Yeah, I know....hey listen, I'm going to spend the night here. Yeah, it's a school night, I know. Please, Mom. I'll be home tomorrow in time to do the papers. Okay."

I hung up the phone, realizing that there would be some hell to pay tomorrow, but I didn't care.

"I can stay," I said.

Josh jumped into my arms again. I held him and wanted to scream out for joy. I had my little man back.

We got all cozy on his bed and his TV was still on.

"Josh, what made you take me back?"

"I couldn't stand to see you with another guy. When I watched you at the game on Friday afternoon, that's when I realized I was being stupid. I couldn't keep my eyes off of you. I couldn't believe that you were mine at one point and that you wanted me. When I saw you tonight with Rich or whatever his name was, I couldn't deal with it anymore. I knew I blew you off two months ago. But I was not going to let you pass by like everything else has in my life. I knew I had to take control this time. And yes, I still have my doubts about you, but I'd rather have those doubts than not have you at all. And I can see you've changed too."

"I have, Josh. I've learned my lesson," I said, kissing him on the cheek.

"It would have been so easy for me to take you back, Steve. You were really getting to me there in the end."

"Sssh....all right, enough said about it, okay? >From now on, we start from here. Make a clean start?"I asked.

Josh grinned at me. That grin only I could get him to produce. "Okay, Stevie. Clean slate."

I wrapped my arms around him tight, vowing to myself this time, I would not let him go ever again. I am afraid that I fell asleep shortly after that. Being a sound sleeper, Josh was not able to wake me up. The next thing I knew, the alarm was going off and it was 6AM.

"Good morning," Josh said, wiping his eyes.

"Morning," I grumbled. I didn't grumble because he was there next to me. I grumbled because it was six o'clock in the morning.

"Get up!" he said, smiling.

"Aw....buddy, let me sleep!" I said, turning over.

"You gotta get up!"

I turned over to face him again and wrapped my arms around him. "Can't I just stay here all day?"

"Mmm..." I heard Josh say.

His body was always warm to be up against. I loved how he fit right in front of me. He was the perfect size to hold against me. I knew that this was how it was supposed to be. I knew i could do it. I knew I could regain his trust.

I slowly got up, sitting up in his bed, wiping my eyes. I grumbled as I got up and found my clothes. Josh was giggling at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You're funny when you're half asleep."

"Thanks," I grumbled. "Bud, where's my hat?"

"Right here," he said, throwing it to me.

"So, you want me to stop by and pick you up again?" I asked, tying my shoes.

"You'd better!" Josh said, smiling at me.

It was right then that I knew that it was going to be all right.

"All right, 7:15 on the dot?"

"Sounds good! Now go, so we aren't late for school!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said, walking to the bedroom door.

The next thing I knew, Josh was right behind me and grabbed me around the waist. I turned around and gave him a kiss good-bye.

I did my papers in a foggy haze, not entirely awake yet. As I took my shower though, it began to dawn on me what had just happened in the last twelve hours. I almost made it with Rick, Josh begged me to take him back, and I took him back.

I began to get excited as I got dressed for school. I couldn't wait to pick the little guy up. I raced out the door. Joe was already there, waiting for me.

"Hey, dude, what's your rush?" Joe asked, laughing.

"Aw, bud! We're gonna be picking someone up for school today!"

"Who?" he asked, getting in the front seat. "A hot chick?"

"No, a hot dude!" I answered. "He took me back!"

"WOW!" Joe exclaimed. "Fuck yeah, bro! Glad to hear it! What brought this on?"

"Well," I said as I pulled out into the street. "He apparently saw me with Rick, and realized that he wanted me. So lame, I know, but I don't care."

"Well, I'm happy to hear it. Maybe now you'll be back to your old self again!"

"I hope so, bud," I said, pulling into Josh's driveway.

True to his word, he was outside waiting for me. I saw his eyes light up as he saw me pull up.

"Get out, bud. Let him sit up front."

"What?" Joe asked. "Fuckin' kickin' me to the curb again?"

"Come on, bud!" I whined.

Josh walked up to the car and opened the back door. He didn't look annoyed that Joe was up front.

"Hey, bud, it's all right. Joe was just going to move to the back seat," I said, staring at Joe.

"No, it's cool," Josh said, smiling as he sat down and closed the door.

"You sure?" I asked.

"Come on Steve, it's only a ten minute drive to school!" Josh said. "Let poor Joe have the front seat."

I had to laugh at Josh. One thing this kid always did was make me laugh.

"Fine," I said. We all cruised on over to the high school, just like old times. Luckily, this was one of the few times that Joe actually kept his mouth shut.

"So, I'll see you at lunch dude?" Joe asked, getting out.

"Sure, bud."

He went on his way, leaving Josh and I behind, alone. We started walking towards the school ourselves, going to our lockers before heading to separate homerooms. Lunchtime couldn't come soon enough for me, being that it was one of the few times I saw Josh on a Tuesday schedule.

Being that John didn't know that Josh was back with me, he sat down next to me instead of leaving the seat for Josh.

"Better get up, bud," I whispered in his ear.

"Why?"

"Josh will want to sit there," I said, unable to suppress the grin forming on my mouth.

John's eyes got wide. "You got him?" he asked, softly but excitedly.

I raised my hand for a high five and we slapped our hands together.

"YEAH BUDDY!" He yelled. He moved over and sat next to another teammate. Ben noticed all of this happening and frowned.

Josh came to the table and sat right next to me. It was just like old times and I couldn't stop from grinning.

"What? Are you two back together again?" Ben asked, with an evil laugh.

"Yeah, baby, and we're coming after you next," I said without thinking. It was just the typical jock jargon between us, but coming from him about this situation at hand, I knew it was stretch.

Josh rolled his eyes at Joe and ignored Ben as he had done so many other times.

"Ben, shut the fuck up. Leave them alone," John said, quietly but firmly.

"Now you're takin' their side too?"

"What are you gonna do about it?" John asked, raising his voice. Needless to say the attention of the entire table was directed to us.

"Dude," Jay, the first baseman on our team, said, hitting Ben on the shoulder. "What the fuck is your problem? If they're together, then so be it."

I was surprised that Jay was so perceptive about it.

"Just ignore him," Jay said to me.

"Thanks," I said.

"Well, are you or aren't you?" Gary asked, who was sitting on the other side of John.

"Guys, let it be," John said, not wanting to start anything.

I almost felt like telling the whole table that I was with Josh. But I thought better of it.

"Cause it makes no difference whether you are or not," Gary asked.

"Dude, what business of it is yours?" John asked. I was very thankful that John was here, but was also noticing that John would need some help as well in a moment.

I looked at Josh who was looking nervous and I smiled at him. "Don't worry, bud," I said. "I can handle this."

"Guys leave them alone," John continued. "No one's asking you who you're sleeping with," he said directly to Ben.

I patted John on the back. "Let it go, buddy."

We resumed eating lunch, but John had a storm cloud of his head. Josh wasn't saying anything and Joe just gabbed on as usual.

I met Josh at his locker after school.

"I've got to catch the bus, Steve. Call me when you're done with practice."

"Oh shit, that's right," I said. "Okay. I'll see you later, bud."

"We've got Physics to study tonight!" Josh yelled as he walked down the hall.

I smiled at him and started to walk to the locker room for baseball practice. Some of the guys were already getting changed and I started to as well. Ben, the forever loud mouth of the team was tellin' some guys about what happened at lunch today.

"And Edison sat with that fuckin' faggot again," was all I had to hear.

I walked over to where Ben was just dressed in a fuckin' jock and nothing else.

"What was that?" I asked, leaning up against the lockers, staring directly at Ben.

"Shut the hell up, Edison. You and your faggot boyfriend..."

"What was that?" we heard a voice say.

We all turned to where the voice came from. There was Coach, lookin' good as usual, with a clipboard in his hand.

"Nothin' coach," Ben said, looking down to the floor.

"We're a team in here, boys. We act like a team. We play like a team. No one is going to be talking crap about another teammate here. Is that understood?"

"Yes coach," we all responded. I went back to my bench and started to put my pants on. Coach continued to talk.

"You got a problem with faggots, Ben?" he asked, moving over to where Ben was sitting.

"Well..." Ben started to say.

"I do too," Coach said, to the shock of everyone there. Everyone remained quiet. I froze.

"I don't however have a problem with gays, just faggots And if you have a problem with gays, then you don't belong on this team. I don't give a shit how good you are! You are not going to be on this team as long as I am the Coach!"

I wanted to cheer out loud. I looked over at John who just came in. He smiled at me, and I smiled back.

"As long as you're on this team, you're going to act like a team. I don't care what anyone is here, straight, gay, bi, whatever. I will not tolerate any bashing of teammates. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes coach," we mumbled.

"Do I make myself CLEAR?" Coach yelled.

"Yes COACH!" We all replied loudly.

"Now get your asses on the field!" he said, as he turned around to walk out.

We had a great practice. Ben was mostly negative throughout the whole practice. John and I stuck together as much as we could. Practice was over in what seemed minutes, and we all ran back to the locker room to get our shit and leave.

"WILLIAMS! MY OFFICE!" Coach yelled out as he entered the locker room.

We all looked over at Ben, who was grumbling. He got up and slowly made his way across to where the office was, which overlooked the locker room.

We all changed, and I wanted to stay to see what Ben would say after he came out. John stayed with me, and we tried to prolong getting our shit together so we could be there.

Ben came out with his face red, looking very angry.

"Fuckin' faggots," he mumbled. He turned to me and snarled, "What are you lookin' at?"

"Let's go," John said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Come on, don't start any shit you can't finish."

He had a point there. I gathered up my things and we left together.

"Well, somehow, I think the whole team think I'm a cocksucker now," I said.

"Does it bother you?"

"Yeah, but I'm not going to let it bother me. As long as I play ball well, I don't see how it will matter. At least we know we have Coach on our side. Dude, how did you do it for so long with David?"

"We just know when to cool it, bud. We have an agreement. But then again, we don't go to the same schools either. Makes it tougher for you," he answered.

"Yeah, true. Well, I'm hoping that I can keep myself in the closet as long as I can. But I'm not afraid to come out anymore."

"Remember, I have your back if you need it, bud. I can't say that I want to out myself, but I know I'll always be behind you."

"Thanks, John."

"Oh, but that reminds me, bud, remember, we still have plans to go out with Rick on Wednesday night! Are you still on?"

"Oh shit! I forgot all about him! What the fuck do I do now?"

"Well, given you past record, just call him up and tell him you can't go."

"But I want to go! But with Josh!"

"Well, I'd call him up and just let him know that you're back with Josh. Don't fuck this up!"

"Yeah I know," I said.

I went home and ate dinner with the parents.

"Well, it's nice to see you finally, Steven," Dad said as I sat down to the table.

"Thanks," I said.

"We need to set some rules now that I take it your back with Josh."

I sighed and looked to my Mom.

"Just because you're dating a boy instead of a girl, doesn't mean the same rules apply. You know your curfew. You know you're not allowed to stay over anywhere on a school night," she said, firmly.

"I know, Mom."

"But, we are happy to hear that you are back with Josh," she said.

"Well," Dad said, "She is more than I am."

"Matthew!" Mom scolded.

"But, I'm glad to hear it too, son. I hope it works out for you."

After that, we had a normal dinner conversation and then went upstairs to do my homework and call up Josh.

As soon as the door was closed, I picked up the receiver and dialed Josh's number.

"Hi, Josh there?"

"Sure, hold on," his Mom said.

"Hello?"

"Josh! How are you?"

"Steve! I'm fine, baby. You're home?"

"Yeah, bud. My parents just gave shit for staying over at your house last night, but I knew that was coming."

"Sorry to hear that, Steve. I guess then you can't come over tonight?"

I laughed. "I wish I could. I really do have a lot of shit to do."

"You okay in Physics?" he asked.

"Yeah I know what I am doing. But hey, what are you doing tomorrow night?" I asked.

"Steve, you know me. What the hell would I be doing?"

"Probably sitting home, jackin' that sweet dick of yours..." I said, boning up at the thought.

He giggled that boyish, innocent giggle that I loved.

"No seriously, what did you have in mind?"

"Well, John and David wanted to go to Philly to a club there."

"Oh yeah, John was telling me about it the other week."

"You want to go?" I asked.

"Uh, I guess. I'm really not the club kid type, though."

"Aw, come on, buddy, it'll be fun, trust me," I said.

"But what about homework?" he asked.

"Now you're just being stupid. Do your homework while I'm at practice."

"Yeah, and what about yours?" he asked.

"We'll worry about that later, bud. Tomorrow night. 9PM!"

"All right. Fine."

"And if I get done with this shit before it's too late, I'll come over, okay?"

"Okay, I hope you do," he said.

"I will for you," I said, melting away.

"Good. I'll talk to you later."

"Later Bud."

I rushed through English, US History, and Algebra in a matter of two hours, completing everything assigned. I really hated homework. There was one more thing I had to do before I could be classified as being completed. I picked up the phone once more and dialed Rick's number. I took a deep breath, hoping that Rick would answer the phone.

"Hey Rick!"

"Hey, dude, was wondering if I was going to hear from you again. How's it going?"

"All right, buddy. What are you up to?"

"Nothin' just studying. How did things go with you and Josh?" he asked.

I was a bit shocked that he brought it up so soon. "Uh, very well. That's what I was calling you about."

"Dude, let me save you the trouble. I'm happy to hear that. John and David both told me what a great couple you made when you went out. I'm sorry to hear that as well, because I do like you, Steve. But I am not going to get in the way of you two."

"Thanks, bud. So, we're cool?"

"We're cool."

"Are still going out tomorrow night with us?" Rick asked.

"Well, yeah and there will be a fifth person with us too."

"Josh?" he asked.

"Yep," I answered, wondering if this was a good idea or not, judging from Rick's initial reaction to Josh yesterday.

"Cool, well, I'm pretty sure I can still make it. So, I'll see you later. John said he'd drive, so I guess he's gonna pick you up as well."

"Oh really? Okay. Sounds good. I'm sorry, bud.....by the way...." I started to say.

"No sweat, dude. I understand, really."

"Cool."

I hung up the phone and ran down the steps.

"Mom, can I go over to Josh's for a while?"

"Did you do your homework yet?" Dad asked.

"Yeah, I did. All of it."

"Fine, but be home on time young man. Nine o'clock!"

I looked at my watch. It was 8PM now. "Fine," I said and ran out the door.

I flew over to Josh's house and ran to his front door. I rang the door bell and his mom answered.

"Come in Steve," she said, not looking particularly pleased to see me there. Josh must have told her what I had done.

"Josh! Steve's here!" she yelled up the steps.

"Coming!" he yelled back down. I heard his light footsteps walking towards the steps and he appeared at the top of the staircase. His face lit up when he saw me there.

"Come on up," he said.

I looked over at Mrs. O'Hara and said, "Thanks." I could feel her staring at me as I walked up the steps.

"Well, that was awkward," I said, as soon as Josh closed his bedroom door.

"Yeah, I know. My mom knows what happened by the way. I'm sorry, Steve. I don't think she likes you very much right now."

"I understand," I said, sitting down on his bed.

It took Josh three seconds to sit down on top of me and push me down on the bed. He finally took control of the whole situation and I liked it. We made out, heavily, trying to make up for what we had been missing for at a month.

"What about your mom?" I asked.

"Don't worry about it," he said, pulling up my shirt.

"I don't have much time. I just wanted to see you," I said, surprised that Josh wanted to screw around this quickly.

"How late can you stay?"

"Around nine. I need my sleep, bro, if I'm going to go out tomorrow night. I need my sleep."

"I understand," he said, unbuttoning my jeans and ripping down the zipper.

He reached in and pulled my hard cock out.

Well, in a matter of fifteen minutes, we had both gotten off and were dressed again.

"Whew! That was just what I needed," I said.

Josh giggled. "I've missed you so much."

"I know, bud, I know. I'm here now."

He jumped back onto the bed, and I took it as a cue to jump back on it too. I managed to fuck it up though and jumped back on him by accident.

"AWWWW!" Josh cried out as I landed on his stomach.

"Aw, BUDDY! I'm sorry!" I exclaimed as I bolted back up. I looked down at him and saw him balling up.

"Are you all right?" I asked.

"You got me in the balls," he said, choking on his own words.

"Shit, man, I'm sorry!" I said. "Straighten out."

I got back on the bed, more gently this time, and crawled up behind him. I wrapped my arms around him and he seemed to be in less discomfort.

"Steve, you dumb fuck!" he said, laughing.

"Sorry, bud."

We laid there in silence for a moment, just enjoying each others company.

"So, bud, I broke it off with Ricky today," I said. "He might still be going with us tomorrow though..."

Josh turned around to face me. "Oh great," he said.

"Well, bud, it's more important to just hang out with some guys that are like ourselves. It's not like there was anything break off between us. He is a fun guy. You'll see."

"Hmm..." Josh said. "Well, if he's friends with John and David, I guess he has to be cool."

"Don't worry, bud, I'll be with you the whole night. I just want to go out and explore, bud. I want you there with me."

"Fine...all right, I'll go," he said, resigning.

"Thanks, bud," I said, kissing him on the cheek.

Well, there you have it. One more chapter to go! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please send all comments to NEPhillyBoy76@aol.com Thanks!