Losing My Virginity and Then My Heart

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"Losing My Virginity And Then My Heart." Part Eight and final.

By Danny D and Jordan R

We had our pizza and then went to bed. He always fell asleep before I did, which was fine with me. I liked lying beside him and listening to him sleep. Plus he looked so peaceful. I woke with him sucking my cock. I looked at the clock. It was a little after four in the morning. I stroked his head, lay still and enjoyed the feeling. He got me close and then bit down on my cock and grazed his teeth over the head. I moaned, squirmed, thrust and came in his mouth. He lay beside me. I moved to go down on him. He said, "Just go back to sleep. Later." He kissed me. I think I fell asleep before he did.

At seven he woke me. My dad will be here soon," he said. "Let's get up and make breakfast for him, then when he goes to sleep we can sleep some more."

"Do we have time for me to give you head?"

He chuckled and lay down again. I went down on him and worked to get him off quickly. He turned us around so that I was kneeling over his face. He pressed his face into my junk. He had done this many times before. "I love your smell," he said. I sucked his cock, my balls sitting on his face and he came quickly. I loved the feel of his cum gathering in my mouth and the taste of it as it slide over my tongue.

We dressed and headed to the kitchen. He cooked bacon in the microwave as I cut cheese and tomatoes and cracked open eggs. We were making what he called a frittata, which is an omelet cooked in the oven. When his dad arrived, they embraced. His dad looks like he'd be tough, and I'm sure on the street he is, but he seems like such a softie when he greets Danny.

He moved toward me and opened his arms. We hugged. "Good to see you again, Jordan. And thank you for getting my son through organic chem."

I laughed.

We made toast and poured juice and sat down for breakfast. His dad asked us about school, about the drive down and about classes the next quarter. Then he said to Danny, "So, I have some news."

Danny and I looked at him. He looked a bit stressed. Danny said, "News?"

"Yeah, I already told Ryan and asked him to not say anything. I wanted to tell you myself."

Danny looked concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. Fine. I just,"

"Okay, just tell me," he said, staring at his father. "You're scaring me."

"No, it's not bad." He took a deep breath. He stared at Danny. "I met a woman. We've been seeing each other off and on for over a month." Mr. Deluca seemed tense.

Danny said, "Dad that's great."

"Really. You're okay with it?"

"What? Of course."

I looked at Danny and saw tears in his eyes. His dad said, "Danny, if you're upset, it's okay."

"No, Dad. I'm happy for you. I worry about you being alone. That was the hardest part about going to Stanford. Knowing that you'd be here alone."

"You know, no one will ever replace your mother."

"Dad. Really. I know that. This isn't about Mom. Dad, you always say you want me to be happy. I want you to be happy." Danny stood up. Mr. Deluca stood. They embraced and then kissed.

"Before you go back," Mr. Deluca said, "I would like you and Ryan to meet her."

"Yes, I'd like that."

He looked at me. "I'd like you to join us if you're able."

"Ah, well, I'm heading back to LA this afternoon."

"Well, if not this time, then next time," he said.

We cleaned up the kitchen and then Mr. Deluca went to bed. Danny and I went to his room. I said, "How are you doing?"

"Good. Really. I mean, it reminds me of my mom and stuff, but I really hate that he's alone. Do you really have to head back today? Can't you hang around and go back tomorrow?"

"It's Sunday, your dad will be home tonight."

Danny laughed. "We can quietly fuck. Besides, he doesn't care. I want you to meet my brother and Harley."

I laughed. "It's like she's your sister or something."

"She's more than that."

"I really should go, but I can drive you to your brother's. And if you can't get a ride back, I can drive you back and then head home. I really should go. Besides I'll be down here on Thursday." Our plan was for me to come to San Diego on Thursday spend the night and then head to LA on Friday. There we'd have dinner with the coach and Gary. We'd then head to Palo Alto on Saturday.

Just before we arrived at Ryan house (he was renting a house with three other guys) Danny called to tell him he was almost there. "Why did you have to do that?"

"Harley. She gets kind of excited when I visit. She's old and now she gets so excited she pees all over the place."

"Ah, that's sweet. I mean I kind of know how she feels."

He laughed.

We parked in front of the house. Ryan came outside. He and Danny hugged and then kissed on the mouth. It wasn't a sloppy kiss, but a quick kiss and then the embraced again. Danny stepped back and said, "Ryan this is Jordan."

I put out my hand. Ryan said, "You mind a hug?" We embraced. "I feel like I know you. Danny has gone on and on and on about you."

Our attention was drawn to a dog barking and whining. "That's Harley," Ryan said to me. "She heard Danny." Danny started walking around the side of the house to the backyard. "She'll pee all over the house and knock everything down if she sees him inside."

Danny opened the gate to the backyard. Ryan and I followed. Harley ran to Danny, whining, shaking her tail so hard her back legs were falling out from under her. Danny knelt down. Harley ran around him, lay down and barked. Danny rubbed her back. She jumped to kiss him. He laughed. This went on and on. Danny kept saying, "I know, I love you too."

Ryan said, "When he leaves she roams around looking for him. She misses him so much."

"Don't," Danny said. "You make me feel like shit," he said to Ryan. To Harley he said while rubbing her back. "I miss you too, girl."

We sat outside and talked. Harley never left Danny's side. If he took his hand off her head, she nudged him. "Can I pet her," I asked. I had heard that she was a trained guard dog.

"Sure," Danny said. "Sit here near me." Harley watched me as I sat down. Danny said, "Just put out your hand and let her get your scent." I did. "She's fine. She's an attention slut. Pet her and she'll love you."

"As long as you don't lift a hand to Danny," Ryan said.

Danny smiled.

I put my hand on her head and pet her. "She's beautiful," I said. I kept scratching her head. She moved away from Danny and closer to me.

Danny laughed. "Abandoned for a little head scratch."

I hung around and had an early lunch and then headed to LA. Even though I'd be seeing Danny in four days, it wasn't ten minutes out and I thought about turning around and spending the night. Traffic was bad. I knew it would be. As I hit LA, my sister Sarah called.

"Where are you?"

"Downtown. Heading home."

"You know we're having Sunday dinner."

"Yeah, I figured."

"Stop here before you go home."

"What's up?"

"I just want to talk to you about Mom."

"Cancer?"

"No. She's healthy. Just want to talk, but not on the phone."

Slowly, I made my way to her apartment. I hate when people do shit like that. We have to talk but I can't tell you what it's about. By the time I got there I was geared up for a fight. I just knew it had to do with Danny in some way.

I sat with Sarah and Ben at the kitchen table. She poured me ice tea. Ben said, "Danny's a nice guy. We're happy you met someone."

"Does this have to do with him?"

"No," Sarah said. "We're all genuinely excited for the both of you."

"It's not like we're getting married. We're boyfriends."

"It's obvious that you two love each other," Sarah said. I nodded. "Well, now a days love isn't all that easy to find, gay or straight."

I nodded. "So what's this about then?"

"Mom keeps falling into a deep depression. I'm worried about her."

"The cancer?"

"No. She's told you about her brother and what happened." I nodded and felt sad. She said, "I guess it was bad. She won't go into details but Dad said he'd kill him if he ever crossed paths with him."

I felt my mouth turn downward to a frown. "She's in therapy, right?"

"Yeah, twice a week," Sarah said. "But what's getting to her is how she treated you when you were growing up. She really is fucked up over it."

"But I told her I was okay," I said.

"I know. Don't think you've done anything wrong. She says you're being wonderful and she's trying really hard to make up for it, but she keeps thinking that she's destroyed any chance she might ever have of making it up. That you two will always be distant and that you'll never trust her."

I sighed. "It's weird. I mean I love her. She's my mother." Tears came to my eyes. "It was tough."

"I know. I was there and I saw it all and when I was young I liked that she favored us, but now,"

"It's not your fault. And I guess it's not Mom's either, but,"

Ben said, "This isn't your fault, her depression and her guilt. No one thinks you did or are doing anything wrong. And to tell you the truth, your sister and I aren't even sure that anything you could say or do could help. She just has to work her way out of it. But I think you should be aware of what's going on when you're not here. She puts up a great front when you are. She so desperately wanted to make Danny feel welcome."

"She did. I was shocked when she said we could spend the night in my room. I mean part of me thought that at any moment," I caught myself.

"Any moment," Sarah said, "she was going to get nasty.

I sighed and nodded.

Ben said, "I get it, Jordan. From what I hear she said some terrible stuff and treated you like you were a constant thorn in her side."

Tears filled my eyes. "I'm not mad at her. I think about how fucked up things were for me my early teens and how Dad was the only one I could talk to and how I knew she was always ready to attack me. But then I remember times when she was nice to me when it was just me and her."

"She remembers all that too," Sarah said. "And Ben is right. She has to work through it. But I just want you to know that she gets what she did with you and why and it wasn't about you. She wants desperately to make it up to you but doesn't know how. And she sees and feels that you don't trust her."

I sighed. Tears fell from my eyes. I wiped them quickly. "What can I do to make it better for her."

Sarah stared at me. "I don't know if I could forgive her if I were you. But you've always had a kind, generous and forgiving spirit."

I looked at her and smiled. "You're forgetting that I peed on Amy's head."

The three of us laughed.

Ben said, "I'd like to pee on her head."

"Ben," Sarah yelled. "That's my twin."

"Please, don't remind me," he said.

We sat and talked and then realized we had to get to my parent's house.

When we arrived, I noticed Dylan's car park in the driveway. Sarah parked behind me. She said, "Oh well, I was hoping they'd cancel."

My mother was in the kitchen cooking. Amy was sitting at the counter. "His Sis," I said.

"Hi."

I walked up to my mother and hugged her. I think she was surprised at first but then wrapped her arms around me. I said, "I want to thank you very much."

"For what?" she said.

"You made Danny feel so welcome. He loved being here and it meant a lot to me. The dinner was great. Dad was great. And you were great. Thank you."

"Oh, I'm so happy. He really does seem like a wonderful young man. And so handsome and bright and respectful. And he obviously has good taste in men."

I smiled. "Thank you."

"Will we see him again before you go back to school?"

"Well, we're having dinner at Coach Wilson's on Friday. It would great if we could spend the night here and then drive north Saturday morning."

"Sure. That would be perfect. You both can stay in your room. If you come up early on Friday maybe I could make you guys lunch. You can hang around the pool, swim and then go to dinner."

Sarah looked at me. I said, "That would be great. The traffic is so bad in the afternoon. We could head up here early and hang out with you and then go to dinner."

I noticed Sarah smiling. I smiled at her.

Amy said, "You never let Dylan and I sleep here when we first started dating."

Sarah said, "First it's Dylan and me. Second, this is not about you."

"It is about me," Amy snapped.

My mother said, "Amy,"

Amy said, "How come you're favoring him. You wouldn't let heterosexuals sleep here but you let them."

I saw my mother's eyes fill with tears. So did Sarah. I said, "Why don't you just back off."

"I wasn't talking to you, so shut the fuck up," she yelled.

My mother said, "Amy, I don't like that,"

"You don't like my language but you're letting two gay guys sleep here in your house."

I glanced at my mother. She stood frozen. Sarah was about to say something, but I stepped forward. "This in no longer your home," I said calmly. "This is their home and I still live here. You don't. And you're language and your opinion about who sleeps here are obviously not appreciated."

She stared at me. "Shut the fuck up."

My mother said, "If you're going to talk like that get out of my house. I know the way you are is all my fault, but I don't have to put up with this."

Amy just sat staring. We all stared. Dylan was in the den watching TV. He entered the kitchen. "What's going on?"

Sarah said, "My sister is leaving."

Amy stood. She pointed to my mother and said, "You'll pay for this. I swear you're going to wish today never happened."

Calm was gone. They say there's a quiet before the storm. I felt a heat fill my body. I pointed at her and yelled, "You'll pay for this? You're threatening my mother. You're threatening to punish her, you bitch."

"Again, fuck you," she yelled.

Dylan stepped toward me and said, "You don't get to talk to her that way."

"Really. Bring it on" I yelled, "because this faggot will kick your chicken shit straight ass all over this house. Bring it on asshole."

Sarah and Ben stepped between us. "Come on," I said walking to the backyard. "Come on."

Dylan and Amy walked to the front door. "You're going to punish my mother," I yelled at Amy as she walked out the door. "You ungrateful bitch."

My mother grabbed my arm. "Jordan, don't. Don't fight with her because of me."

"No one talks to you like that. No one. After all you've done for her, she has no right to talk to you like that."

Sarah walked out following Amy and Dylan. Ben said, "That is not going to go well," he said, looking out the doorway.

"Ben, they're sisters. The best thing for you is to stay out of it," my mother said.

Ben said, "As long as Dylan keeps his mouth shut."

We couldn't hear what Sarah said to Amy but it looked like it surprised Amy. Sarah turned and walked back to the house. Sarah said, "Until she apologizes, I'll have nothing to do with her."

We went back to the kitchen. I said to my mother, "Are you okay?"

She said, "I shouldn't have said,"

I said, "Mom. Don't. Don't blame yourself for this. She's got this thing about me."

Ben said, "I'd have a thing about you too if you peed on my head."

I tried not to smile, but I did.

I hugged my mother. "Mom, I know you love me. Sarah knows you love her. And Amy knows you love her. She's just miserable, jealous, selfish and doesn't like gay people. It's not about you."

She put her head against my chest and cried.

I hung around the house most of the rest of the week. As was always the case, things between my mom and me were fine when my sisters weren't around. But she seemed more attentive. She made me breakfast and lunch. I hung around the pool. I went to my dad's dealership and saw the guys. I even read two chapter of organic chem.

Danny and I text messaged many times during the day and talked every night.

Thursday night was great. We hit his bed as soon as I got there. Then we went to dinner and a movie, then back home and to bed.

We left early Friday and got to my parent's house in time for lunch. I was surprised to see that my dad was home. I didn't say anything to Danny, but this never happens. I guess since we weren't going to be there for dinner, he decided to be home for lunch. Danny helped my mother get lunch ready. They chatted away in the kitchen while my dad and I sat outside. My dad said, "Your sister told me that she talked to you. I appreciate what you are doing. Your mother commented to me that you seem very relaxed and happy at home. It means a lot."

"You're both being great."

"I know I keep saying it, but I am so proud of the man you are. I know things were tough for you as a kid, but maybe adversity builds character."

"Maybe, but if it weren't for you and The Coach, I'm not sure what my life would have been like."

He smiled at me.

Lunch was great. My dad went back to work. My mom had errands to run. Danny and I got naked and swam in our pool.

Dinner with The Coach and Gary was great. Good food and good conversation. Again Danny helped in the kitchen. This time it was with The Coach. Gary and I sat on the patio and talked. After dinner, Gary and I cleaned up and The Coach and Danny sat and talked. Gary said to me, "You know you're like a son to him. I mean he talks about you, worries about, hopes to see you."

"I know. I feel the same way."

My mother was waiting up for us when we returned home. I told her we were going to go for a swim and then bed. She said good night and went to their bedroom.

Danny and I undressed and went to the pool. We kept the lights off and swam naked but behaved ourselves. In bed, we kissed, touched and sucked. He moved me and pressed his cock against my ass. I said, "We have to be quiet."

"They're on the other side of the house."

"I know, but we should still be quiet."

"I can be quiet, but you're the one who makes all the noise when I fuck you."

"Shut up."

I lay on my side. He lay behind me. He pressed his cock into me and slowly thrust. Of course, I moaned. "Shhh," he said.

"Shut up. I can't help it."

We lay there. He thrust slow and easy. We kissed. He played with my cock and we kissed some more. He began to bite at my neck. He does that when he's getting close. Then he rolled me onto my stomach and lay on top of me. Quietly we fucked.

He pressed hard into me and moaned and dropped his load. He lay holding me.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"You seem weird."

"I don't know why but I was thinking about being short skinny ugly no pubic hair and hiding in this room scared."

With his cock still in my ass, he said, "When I was helping The Coach, he talked about what happened. But what he said was that since then all the coaches keep a look out for guys like you. He said that a couple of months ago the track coach took one boy aside who was shy and hiding out in the locker room instead of showering and talked him into working out with the track team. He said that since you they've done it with six different kids."

"That's cool."

"He also said that he gives all the credit to your dad."

"My dad?"

"He said that your dad never had to be so nice to him and help him out with a great price on a new car and then he did the same thing with all the coaches and Gary too. The Coach said that your dad had figured out that he was gay and never even blinked an eye. Then when your dad called and sounded so concerned and he told The Coach that he thought you might be gay and really needed guidance, The Coach was more than happy to step in."

"He changed everything for me."

"Your dad did with the help of the coach."

"Yeah, I guess." I sighed loudly.

"Jordan if you didn't have that shit happen and if they didn't help you out of it, maybe you wouldn't be the guy you are today. Maybe you would have been a gay version of Amy."

I chuckled.

"And now look at you. You're in that same room and you've got my huge cock up your ass."

I laughed. He laughed.

"I love your cock up my ass, but I think it's time to take it out."

I got up and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said, "You want to fuck me?"

"No," I said. "I want to lay here and have you give me the best blow job ever. I want my toes to curl. I want my body to tremble with pleasure."

He pushed me down on the bed, and said, "Hold on. This is going to make your head explode."

My dad waited around to have breakfast with us. He never does that. "I won't see you two until the quarter is over," he said. My face tingled when he said `you two'. We had breakfast and then headed to the car. My dad hugged me and then started talking to Danny. I hugged my mother. I said, "Thank you for making this so easy. I really do appreciate it."

"It meant a lot to me too. So, thank you."

I kissed her on the cheek and said, "I love you."

"Jordan, I love you."

On the way to Palo Alto, Sarah called. "You're on speaker phone," I said.

"Mom called," she said. "She was crying."

"Why? What happened?"

"Good crying. Jordan, thank you. You're a sweetheart. She believes the both of you can put the past behind you and move on. She said she felt that you've forgiven her."

"I'm glad."

"Danny," she called out.

"Hi Sarah."

"My mother thinks you are wonderful and so do Ben and I."

"Back at you," Danny said.

"Drive safely. And remember you've got a place to stay here too."

I hung up. Danny said, "Sweetheart."

"Shut up."

"You are. You're a kind soul."

"Yeah, right. You should have seen me with Amy and Doofus. I was in his face. I called him out. If it wasn't for Ben."

Danny laughed.

"Go ahead laugh. I was going to take him down. I be the man."

"You're turning me on."

I chuckled. "Asshole. I'll show you nice."

"When we get back, will you angry fuck me?"

I smiled. "A Jimmy fuck."

He said, "At least that. You'll slap my ass and fuck me hard. Grab my hair and hold me still. Make me take that man cock and plead for more."

I looked at him. "You're trying to turn me on, right?"

He smiled. "And then you'll fuck me so hard, I'll have to hold onto something to not fall over."

I laughed. "You're such a butt hole. I'm getting a boner and we've got two hours."

"You should pull over at the next rest stop so that I can get you off. Either that or when you slide into my tight butt you'll pop your nut before you even get going."

I laughed. He put his hand on my junk. I was hard. "There," he said, pointing. "Rest area, twelve miles." I laughed. He said, "I'm serious. Stop. I'm going to suck you off and if you don't stop, I'm going to do it while you're driving." I laughed. He said, "Yummy, yummy, yummy, I want cum in my tummy."

I pulled over and gave him what he wanted. It's tough keeping a boyfriend satisfied.

That night I had him on his knees and fucked him long, hard and deep.

Bastian and I went out with Kevin and his friend Bill looking for an apartment. It didn't take long. We found a two bedroom apartment that would be available August first. It was on the second floor or a two story building and at the end. So, we thought it would be quiet. It was good sized and within our price range. The bedrooms were large enough to have two double beds instead of two twins if they took the desk out. The manager agreed to do it. And it was only two blocks from Danny's apartment. We signed the lease and put down a deposit.

The quarter went quickly as they all do, but this one seemed to go faster. Maybe it was because I was enjoying myself. Bastian and I went to Yoga. Danny and I swam. I had organic chem. with Danny and another class with Bastian. I was glad we'd be living together because being juniors the next year, most of my classes were in my major and so were Bastian's.

I did work the next summer, but only four days a week. Thursday nights I drove down to San Diego and spent every other weekend there. The other weekend, Danny and I would drive up to LA on Friday and spent time at my house and with Sarah and Ben. My parents went to Europe for three weeks. We had the house to ourselves.

Sadly, Amy wasn't speaking to my parents or Sarah. So, I didn't see her.

My junior year was intense. Upper division chem. classes and a year long biochemistry class with Danny and all the other premed students- I did well. Danny and I got to know each other a lot better Ð mostly because of time together Ð and our relationship grew stronger. I got to know his moods and he got to know mine. We learned to be patient with each other and trust each other. At parties, we'd usually separate and then leave together. Everyone knew we were boyfriends. I learned that when you're gay and have a boyfriend and everyone knows it, people (women and straight guys who are not assholes) get very friendly when they drink.

Danny is a once a day kind of guy. What I mean is that, generally, he comes at least once a day. It isn't unusual for him to come twice, but he comes at least once a day. That means when he's not with me, he jerks off. I'm a once a day guy too. Or maybe more like a ten times a week kind of guy. So, that means when I'm not having sex with him, I jerk off.

Bastian was heavy in love with Vicki. Kevin was heavy in love. Jason, Danny's roommate was still dating the same girl and they were always going at it. So, we developed this text messaging system where we could find an empty bedroom for an hour or two. Everyone got so comfortable with each other that we had `no sex' sleep over's and Bastian and his girlfriend and Danny and I would sleep in the same room. Other times, Jason and his girlfriend shared a room with Danny and I.

So sex with each other was often and sleeping together once in a while was possible.

At the beginning of my junior year, soon after moving into the apartment, I realized that sharing a room with Bastian was going to mean jerking off with Bastian, but in our own beds. I mentioned it to Danny. I said, "Ah, look, I jerk off on days you and I don't have sex with each other."

"Yeah, so do I."

"Well, Bastian jerks off too. I guess I can tell him that we have to do it when the other isn't there. I mean I guess that's what most guys do."

"Jason jerks off when he goes to bed and so do I. He used to try to be quiet about it, but now he just does his thing and I do mine."

"I just wanted to talk about it."

"No, it's cool. I get it. I don't care."

So, our junior year was filled with tough classes, friends, parties, and learned to be with each other.

Two things happened the summer between our junior and senior year. After finals, Danny and I drove to my house and spent a couple of days. My mother had a major check up and she was cancer free. That was great news. Danny and I spent two days at my house relaxing.

We drove to his house and I spent a few days there. I met Mr. Deluca's fiancŽ, Kathleen. She was a nurse and worked shifts like Mr. Deluca. She was wonderful. They were going to marry at the end of the summer.

I left and headed to LA. Again, I'd be working for my father. The next morning I got a call from Ryan. "Are you able to come down here?"

"Is something wrong?"

"We're having to put Harley down. She's in a really bad way. A lot of pain. Her hips are bad and she has cancer on her spin. Danny is heading here."

"He's going to be with you when you do it?"

"Yeah. We wondered if we should do it without him and just tell him, but I think he'd be pissed.

"Yeah, I think you're right. But he's going to take it badly."

"Yeah, so do you think,"

"I'm on my way."

Of course I hit traffic, a lot of traffic. Ryan text messaged me that they were heading to the vet, so I should just go to his house. When I got there, only one of is roommates was there. He said, "They put her down. They're on their way back. Danny is a mess." He had tears in his eyes.

He and I sat and talked. He cried. Tears filled my eyes.

Two of their roommates entered the house. One said, "Ryan and Danny are still in the car. You should go out there." His eyes were wet with tears.

I went outside. I saw Ryan sitting with Danny in the backseat. Danny was crying. Ryan saw me, then Danny did. They got out of the car and walked up to me. Ryan hugged me and went inside. Danny and I walked into the backyard and sat on their picnic table. Danny leaned into me and sobbed. Tears fell from my eyes as I held him.

He told me that he lay down with Harley on the floor, talked to her and held her while the doctor injected her. He said she stared at him and then went limp in his arms. He sobbed.

Ryan came out and gave him a glass of water and sat with us. Danny seemed to calm down. He said, "I know she was in pain. I know we had to do it. I know she's just a dog. I know I'm over reacting. But it just hurts so much."

We heard a motorcycle drive up and park. His dad walked into the backyard. I saw tears in his eyes as he and Danny hugged. Danny cried. We sat and talked. Again Danny seemed to calm down. At one point, Danny went in to go to the bathroom. His dad said to Ryan and me, "You know this is also about his mother."

Ryan said, "Yeah, I kind of figured."

"Harley was his protector when he lost your mother. I think that dog was kind of a replacement for him. I mean he was only eleven. The lost of his mother and his attachment to that dog are connected."

He looked at me and said, "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too."

"Is there anyway you can take him to your house for a little while. I think if he hangs around here or at home, he's going to just grieve and grieve."

"Yeah, sure. I can ask my dad if I could not work for a while. They love him. And maybe he and I could do something."

When Danny returned his dad said to him. "Go home and pack some stuff."

"Why?"

"I don't want you home alone. When does your summer school class start?"

"Two weeks."

I nodded.

"Okay. Take off. Jordan said you can spend the time with him at his house and maybe you two can take off and do something."

"I'll be okay," he said.

"I want you to take time off. You just had a full year of school. Take some time."

"Come home with me," I said. "We have the pool. We can go to the beach. Bring your board," I said feeling nervous. He said he wanted to teach me to surf. I said no.

"Can I teach you?"

I stared at him. "Okay, I'll try."

We went to his house. He packed his stuff. We got his board into my trunk and tied the hood down, making sure it was secure and drove to my house.

He cried off and on for a few days. My mother doted on him. We swam in the pool. We went to the beach. I did try to surf. That was embarrassing. We went to Santa Barbara for a day and drove to Yosemite and camped out. I got him back to San Diego in time for his summer school class and his volunteering at a hospital.

At the end of the summer, Mr. Deluca married Kathleen. Ryan and Danny were his best men. It was a nice wedding.

Bastian didn't go to Amsterdam the summer between his junior and senior year. He and Vicki lived in Palo Alto in a one bedroom apartment that they stayed in for their senior year. Danny and I took a one bedroom apartment in the same building our senior year, that being this last year.

I think at first I was a bit nervous about it. Having a boyfriend, finding an empty bed and having sleepovers is different from living with someone, but we were planning to stay in the same city when he went to medical school and I went to graduate school and we'd be living together then. So, this last year was an experiment. Ð can we actually live together.

We did great together. Like any roommates or boyfriends we had disagreements, but it never amounted to anything.

We still are once a day or more sex guys. And that happens mostly before bed during the week and anytime on weekends.

I bottom more than top, but I top too. And he sucks me off more than I do him. And he's still a great kisser.

He applied to medical schools all over the country. I applied to graduate schools in the same city. I think I was more crazy about us being accepted to schools in the same city than he was, so I decided that if that didn't work out that I was going to go with him to whatever city he decided on and then get a job and reapply for graduate school or get a teacher's credential for secondary schools and teach chemistry. But no matter what, I was not going to do a long distance relationship. What I learned about Danny is that exams stress him out and when he's stressed he gets horny and when he gets horny he likes to fuck.

As it turned out, Danny was accepted to the top school on the west coast that trains doctors. He applied just for the sake of applying, thinking that he'd never get in. But his MCAT scores were great and so was his GPA as were his letters. I think he thought about going to the same medical school as his brother. Ryan was going to one of the best medical research schools, which is different from a medical school that trains practitioners. Ryan did not want to practice, but do research.

Danny got his acceptance before I heard about graduate school.

He was also accepted into other medical schools and said that he was going to turn down this west coast school if I didn't get accepted into school in that city.

We argued. I told him he couldn't turn down such an opportunity. I could apply for a teacher's credential program in that city and get in with no trouble and then apply for graduate school again.

I think it was the first real tension between us.

He refused to talk anymore about it until I heard. He ended our discussion with, "I don't make decisions that affect your life, you don't get to make decision that affect mine. Medical school is fucking medical school no matter where I go."

"But this opportunity is once in a life time. I can get in to graduate school later."

"If you bring this up again before you hear about graduate school, I won't have sex with you for a week."

"Good luck with that," I said. Danny going a week without sex with me when we sleep in the same bed would be like the Pope ordaining women Ð never going to happen.

Well, I got my letters of acceptance. And, I was accepted to the chemistry Ph.D program at the University where Ryan and I wanted Danny to go to medical school. Needless to say, I was ecstatic. I danced around the apartment. Danny was at school. I called my parents. I was so happy I cried Ð stress. I called Ryan. He was excited and told me not to call Danny, but to wait until he got home. I wanted to call everyone, but I waited.

Usually when Danny gets home, he first kisses me, then he heads to the refrigerator and hunts. So, I taped the letter on the refrigerator door. He came home, kissed me, went to the bathroom and peed. "Hey," he yelled over his peeing. "I saw Bastian. He wants to see a movie tomorrow night."

"Okay. I'll call him."

I heard him washing his hands. Butterflies in my stomach. "You're making dinner tonight, or is it me," he said coming into the kitchen.

"Me."

"I'm hungry." He walked to the refrigerator. He stood there. "This is fucking fabulous," he said, taking the letter off the door. "Jordan, this is for real."

"Ah, like I have their letter head."

He laughed. "Did you tell your parents?" he said, putting his arms around me.

"Yeah. And I called Ryan but no one else. He's excited."

He put his arms around me and pressed his crotch against mine. "This is so good." He looked into my eyes. "They have a good department, right?"

"Ah, yeah. He's like one of the best protein synthesis guys around for medical stuff and that's what I want. I'll be taking classes at the medical school. He teaches there. Probably the biochemistry class you're going to have to take."

"You know this is fucking fantastic, don't you."

"Yeah."

"I think I would have gone nuts going to medical school and you in another city."

"That was never going to happen, no matter how long you wouldn't have sex with me." He laughed and shoved me toward the bedroom. "Ah, the rice is cooking," I said.

"Fuck, you sound like we've been married for ten years. Turn off the fucking rice."

I did and we went to the bedroom where I fucked him and then he fucked me.

What's ahead for us? We've gone looking for an apartment. Getting to know the area. We're excited about the move. We're moving right after we graduate. Medical school starts soon after. I don't have classes until the fall quarter, so I can settle us in and get things normal.

Bastian is continuing at Stanford with a master's in Engineering. I'll miss him, but we'll stay in contact. He's helping us move.

Between graduation and medical school and after our move, we are heading to Europe for a few weeks - a gift from my parents to both of us. We are both very very excited.

Well, thank you for reading along. And thank you for the emails.

Dannyd and Jordan R