Loneliness Unmasked

By Adam -

Published on Aug 15, 2000

Gay

Legal Disclaimer -- This story is a work of fiction, all characters are pure works of fiction written entirely by the knowledge of fiction.

CHAPTER 3 -- LIGHT'S GO OUT

The hotel was quiet for a change. It was only 7:00 and the light was creeping into each and every hotel window. The sun was shining extremely bright onto one, but the light wouldn't last for long...

BRIAN'S ROOM

As the light began to shine in, Brian awoke, with Justin still clutching him. Brian had to go to the bathroom, but he could wait. Anything could wait for Justin. He knew that if he moved, he would awake his sleeping lover, and so he sat still, just staring at Justin.

The phone began to ring, Brian thought to pick it up and hang up, or to just let it ring, he instead picked it up and answered.

"Hello" Brian whispered into the phone, trying to keep quiet.

"Brian, why are you so quiet?" Kevin was on the calling end of the phone.

"Because Justin's still asleep." Brian kept up his whispers, looking back to Justin to make sure he was still asleep. Sure enough, he showed no motion or movement. Brian smiled and went back to his phone conversation.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you guys." Kevin answered not knowing what to say.

"It's okay, was their something you had to tell me?" Brian asked in the same soft whisper.

"Yeah, um, can we have breakfast together?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah, me and Justin will be in your room in 20 minutes." Brian answered for both of them, knowing Justin would understand.

"Actually, it's not in my room, it's in the restaruant, and it's going to be every body." Kevin answered, knowing Brian would be shocked at Kevin's words, he waited for a reply.

"No, we can't come." Brian said this time loud enough, for Justin to stir. Justin didn't wake up, but Brian knew it was a close call.

"Why not?" Kevin responded in anger.

"Because Justin can't handle it. He can't stand by himself, he can't sleep with out me, he can't take a bath, he can't be alone, he can't see JC or Lance." Brian whispered back, with so much to say it was hard for him to stay silent, but for Justin's sake he was quiet.

"But, that's what we need to discuss. We need to discuss him." Kevin spit out his words, no longer angered, but trying to inform him the nicest way he could.

"We can't discuss my boyfriend, we can't discuss his life, because we don't own him." Brian was now loud, and Justin awoke in a startle. Justin was confused, he was used to awakening to yelling, but never from Brian. Justin pulled back from Brian, and sat in the corner of the bed against the headboard, and the dresser next to it.

"Well..."Kevin tried to finish but Brian cut him off.

"I gotta go." Brian slammed the phone down in frustration, he knew that Kevin would be knocking on the door in twenty minutes, even after the conversation. "I'm sorry for waking you up." Brian said now lowering his voice back to normal room level.

"Don't scream like that. Don't yell and slam things around. Please!?" Justin was not sure if he himself was asking Brian, or telling him.

"I won't I promise, I was just upset about something." Brian tried to calm down Justin.

"What was it about?" Justin asked as he realized that he had scurried away from Brian. He didn't fear Brian, but for some reason he still ran at the raise of his voice. He crawled back to Brian to let him know that he was okay now.

"Nothing, the question, is are you okay? You crawled over their in a hurry." Brian asked with a small amount of fear in his voice. He knew that Justin hid, because he was afraid. "I don't want you to be afraid of me." Brian let out his last words.

"I'm not, I just, I was just, it was loud." Justin let out his words as well.

"I know, I'm sorry it was Kevin on the phone." Brian still tried to let Justin know that nothing was wrong.

"Why did you yell at him?" Justin asked out of concern.

"He wants us to meet him for breakfast." Brian looked at Justin.

"So, that's no reason to yell." Justin looked into Brian's eyes. He knew something else was bothering him. He knew Brian wouldn't yell like that for something so small as a breakfast invitation.

"I know, but not just him, all of them, even JC and Lance." Brian finished. He knew Justin would now understand the reason for yelling.

"So, what time are we going?" Justin looked away, he was scared.

"We aren't." Brian told Justin.

"Thank you." Justin hugged Brian.

"I knew you wouldn't want to, and I didn't want to go and watch them fight over you." Brian returned the hug with greater power, squeezing Justin close to him.

"What?" Justin questioned Brian.

"I knew you wouldn't want to go." Brian still hugged Justin tightly.

"How did you know?" Justin questioned Brian further. Brian was confused by the questions, but he continued to answer them.

"Well, I knew you weren't up for it. You can't even stand, you just need rest." Brian let Justin know his true feelings.

"Then we are going." Justin pulled away from Brian. He stood up, swayed, but kept his balance.

"No, we can't." Brian tried to sit Justin down.

"I need to prove to them that I can do this, I can get past them and their attitudes. Please let me do this, and just stay by my side through it?" Justin was begging Brian. Brian stood up and helped Justin get dressed. It took awhile, but with in twenty minutes, Brian had managed to get Justin and himself ready for breakfast.

"Ready to go." Brian asked Justin hesitantly.

"I guess, I have to do this." Justin responded. Brian closed the door, and helped Justin to the elevatore.

RESTARUANT

They walked into the restaraunt and found the rest of the guys sitting around a table. Two seats remained, one next to Kevin and one next to Lance. Justin looked at Brian with pain, "I wanna sit by you." Justin pleaded with Brian.

"I know, but their's no seats, but you can sit by Kevin, he won't hurt you, I will sit by Lance." Brian found courage in himself to help Justin.

"Alright. I can do this." Justin muttered to himself as he sat down next to Kevin.

"What are you doing?" Lance questioned Justin.

"I'm sitting down, do you mind?" Justin asked Lance

"Yeah, we saved you a seat by us." Lance turned to smile at JC and then smirk at Justin. "We are supposed to sit with our band members." Lance finished.

"Fine." Justin got up and walked over, Brian rose and looked at Justin, nodded and Brian walked over to sit by Kevin.

"Alright let's get started before an arguement occurs, we are here to discuss the tour, when it will restart, and what we are going to do about what has been going down." Kevin spoke up for all of the guys.

"First off the tour can start as soon as this weekend, it's been a two days since the suicide attempt, and he has rested, so we are good to go as soon as Saturday or Sunday." JC made his attitude known.

"I don't think thats gonna work." Justin stated out. He didn't think he would be able to confront the issue, but he was now stepping into.

"Why not?" JC asked

"Because I can't stand, I can't walk, if I can't do those, then I certainly can't dance and sing in front of a live crowd." Justin sank back into his timidness, as he finished his sentence.

"Yeah, well you have two or three days to get better, so live with it." JC was trying to back Justin into a corner of fear, and he knew how it worked. He would gradually get louder until Justin would agree with him.

"I can't." Justin barely got the words out, when JC raised his voice.

"Stop saying you can't, you can and you are just holding back." JC was now one step away from the fear factor. All he had to do was stand up, and Justin would back down.

"Please, stop." Justin begged JC, he knew it wouldn't work. JC stood to his feet, and stared Justin down.

"You are coming back to the tour, and we are going to do it this weekend." JC was now bellowing, and Justin was breaking down. He was looking around, and looked up, and saw Brian standing by his side.

"Back off, now!!" Brian warned JC

"What are you gonna do? Fuck me" JC laughed

"No, I'm gonna kick your ass if you don't watch out." Brian warned again.

"OH, I forgot you only fuck Justin." JC was stepping close to a line, that he didn't want to cross.

"Watch it." Brian was not at the same loud level of screaming that he was earlier in the room, and Justin was scared. Justin stood up and walked to the other side of the table, AJ began to hug him to let him calm down.

"Better get your girlfriend. Before he falls madly in love with AJ for holding him." JC was now crossing over the line, and he couldn't turn back. Brian let his fist fly, and hit JC in the mouth. JC swung back catching Brian in the stomach.

Justin stood from the table and ran, no one noticed as all eyes were on the fight. Brian lunged forward and toppled JC to the floor. He smashed his head into the ground. Brian got up, and looked around he couldn't see Justin anywhere. JC got up and Lance and him talked. They both walked out, heading towards the floor of their rooms.

"Where's Justin?" Brian asked still looking.

"I don't know he ran over to me when you started screaming, I hugged him, but when you hit JC he ran out of the room." AJ stumbled out his words, still thinking of what actually happened. "I didn't see which way he went." AJ admitted.

MEANWHILE IN THE ELEVATOR

"Alright, you check the second floor, I'll check the third, if you find him bringing him back to our room." JC was telling Lance what to do if they found Justin. Their plan was to simply take Justin back by force. Little did they know that Justin wasn't on either of the two floors they would search. He was still on the main level.

BACK IN THE RESTARAUNT

"We have to find him. He's scared." Brian knew why Justin ran. He ran because of the two loud voices. "How could I have been so damn stupid." Brian was kicking himself inside.

"It wasn't your fault you were just defending him." AJ tried to calm Brian down.

"It was though, I know how he feels, I know what he was thinking. He wasn't just scared of JC, he was scared of me too." Brian let every one know what he was thinking.

"What do you mean, he was scared of you. Did you hurt him?" Kevin asked confused.

"No, this morning when you called, I raised my voice, and Justin let go of me, and ran away into the corner. I asked him what was wrong, and he said it wasn't just JC, but any screams scare him." Brian let out all that he knew.

"Then we have to find him." Howie let out his own piece of mind.

"Split up into twos, I'll go with you Brian, Howie you and Nick, Joey you and Chris. AJ stay here to see if he comes back." Kevin was ordering every one around, and all listened. "Nick, Howie, search the third floor, Joey, Chris the second floor. Me and Brian will take this one." Kevin said.

The groups of two left the table, and let AJ sit and wait.

THE THIRD FLOOR

Nick and Howie searched each bathroom, and every corner, but couldn't find Justin, little did they know that JC was searching the same floor, right behind them.

THE SECOND FLOOR

"We have to find him soon." Joey was telling Chris as they ran through the halls.

Joey and Chris continued to run. Lance was slowly following them, trying to find out what he could as they quickly exchanged words. Lance stopped at the elevator and hopped in, hitting the button to the third floor, to grab JC and continue the search else where.

THE MAIN LEVEL

"I can't believe it." Brian was still upset with himself. "I went through this just 20 minutes ago, in the bedroom, I knew it would hurt him, why did I let him come?" Brian was questioning himself, as he heard a whimpering. He looked towards the sound and saw Justin sitting on the edge of the diving board. Weeping openly.

"Justin are you okay?" Brian ran towards him, as he got closer, so did JC and Lance. "Don't come closer any of you, I need to be alone." Justin let out his feelings.

"Get off the damn board and come over here now" JC screamed out the order. Kevin heard the screaming and ran towards the noise. He saw Justin and ran towards that end of the pool.

"Justin, please come over here, and let me take you back to the room. You need to get some sleep." Brian was realizing how to handle the situation and he talked softly, calmly.

"I'll sleep here." Justin whimpered out between cries.

"Please, you know I didn't mean to hurt you." Brian was no pleaing with Justin to come over to him.

"Shut up, you dumb fuck. Justin get your ass over here, or else." JC was now using the same fear factor to try and convince Justin to do as he said. AJ was now on his way, and so were numerous hotel employees.

"Guys we can't make a scene their are people around." AJ tried to let the guys know.

"Alright, I'm outta here." JC and Lance stormed out of the rec area. Not looking back.

"Justin their gone you can come off now." Brian tried to coax Justin off.

"You go too." Justin asked of Brian.

"What?" Brian thought he was hearing something else, another person.

"Please, just let me talk to Kevin or AJ, or both of them, but with out you."Justin was now pleaing with Brian.

"Alright, but please come back to the room." Brian was afraid that Justin would leave.

"I will, I promise." Justin was partially honest, he hoped.

"I love you." Brian uttered out his words as he left. As Brian walked away, Justin slowly walked off the diving board. He walked up to Kevin and AJ and stopped.

"Help me." Justin asked a confusing question to the two guys.

"With what?" Kevin asked Justin.

"To love him without fear." Justin was in love with Brian, and he knew Brian would never hurt him, but he still had the fear, he couldn't shake it. "Please"

"We can't, that is something you have to realize yourself." Kevin answered the question, watching the pain in Justin's face. "I can tell you this though. He won't hurt you, he never will, I know it, and you do to, you just have to talk to him."

"Please, I need some help, I can't do this by myself." Justin continued to plea with Kevin and AJ.

"You won't, he'll be their to help you." AJ reminded Justin.

"Now let's get you back to your room." Kevin and AJ helped Justin to the elevator. "You know that he won't hurt you don't you?" Kevin asked Justin.

"Yeah, but I just don't know." Justin was still crying. The elevator door slid open, and Brian was waiting at them.

"I couldn't wait for you to come to the room." Brian went to hug Justin, but Justin moved and walked into the open door of his and Brian's room.

"Just talk to him, and let him know you won't hurt him, he's just scared." Kevin assured Brian.

"Thanks guys." Brian walked into the room and shut the door.

"Please, just let me go for a while." Justin was in the corner of the room crying, rolled up in a tight ball.

"I can't." Brian firmly stated.

"Please." Justin still sobbed in the corner.

"I promised you I wouldn't leave you alone, that I would be their for you while you were upset, scared or anything. So here I am." Brian was trying to get Justin to realize how sorry he was. Brian walked over to Justin and lifted him up to his feet, he walked Justin to the bed and sat him down. "If you want to cry, cry on my shoulder, that's what I'm here for." Brian told Justin. Justin didn't open his mouth, he just fell forward, and let himself sob uncontrollably on Brian's shoulder.

"Everything will be fine, just let it go." Brian rubbed Justin's hair, and caressed his back. "I know I hurt you earlier, but please just forgive me." Brian continued to rub Justin's back.

"Why did you raise your voice, why'd you hit him?" Justin didn't look up, but he just continued to cry on Brian's shoulder.

"I know it hurt you, but I did it for you, I defended you. I didn't want him to yell at you. I didn't want him to hit you. So I let him yell at me, and I hit him." Brian tried to justify what he had done.

"But, I told you that I just wanted you to stand by me, not defend me, I just wanted you to stand by my side and let me know you were thier for me." Justin still found no courage with in him to look up at his boyfriend.

"I'm sorry, I can't say anything else, but I had to. I had to help you. I couldn't watch you sit their in fear while he bullied you. I couldn't watch it any more. I had to step forward this time. I had to help you, whether you wanted it or not." Brian was not aware of it, but he was speaking openly from his heart.

"I know, but I just can't let every one guard me like I am a child, I can't stand up for myself against him, but at least I can handle him hitting me, at least I can do it myself." Justin was trying to act like a man, but in his tries, he was only justifying himself as a lost child.

"What are you saying? Your saying that you want him to hit you. You don't want that, and I can't watch that. I can't. I have to help you, if not for you, but for me." Brian was upset at Justin's words, and even more that Justin wouldn't look at him. "Please, just look at me." Brian pleaded.

"I can't. I can't look at you, because I am embarrassed of myself. I can't even look at myself, and I can't look at you, because I let you down. I couldn't even handle myself, I broke down and ran away again." Justin was beating himself for something he felt he did. But Brian was not mad, or even upset that Justin ran, he was worried.

"Justin, please, let me in, tell me what to do. Tell me what you want, adn I"ll do it. But you have to tell me, or I won't know." Brian kept up his pleas. Justin didn't look up.

Brian stood from the bed, and let Justin fall face first into the mattress. He began to walk towards the door of the room.

"Wait, you promised, I need you." Justin began to plea out numerous pleas, as Brian turned to look at him.

"I can't stay by you, if you would tell me what you need, and what you want I could, but not now." Brian uttered out his final words.

"I need you, I want you. Please don't go." Justin was answering Brian's questions, and he needed to.

"Then let me into your mind, tell me what's bothering you." Brian still made no notion that he was going to return to the bed. Justin answered hoping that he would get Brian to come back.

"I just don't know any more. I'm afraid of everything, I fear JC, I fear loud noises, I fear fights, and I am afraid that you will leave me." Justin let it all out, crying, and sobbing. He slid off the bed, and fell to the floor. Brian ran over, and scooped him up.

"I'm sorry, I can't even begin to understand what you are going through, but I promise you that I won't leave you. Never." Brian kissed Justin on the forehead.

"I wasn't ready the other day, and I'm still not." Justin was crying and uttered out the sentence. Brian didn't know what Justin was talking about until he thought about it.

"I don't care, we don't have to make love, we don't have to. I won't leave you just because of it, is that what you thought?" Brian was angered by Justin's statement, but he didn't let it show.

"I just thought, that if we had sex, that you would, well that you would stay with me." Justin was now pouring out his soul. He knew that is what he needed to do.

"I won't leave you." Brian was trying to assure Justin, as Justin began to unzip Brian's pants. "What are you doing?" Brian was unsure of why, Justin would want to do anything sexual after what he just went through.

"I'm ready not. I just needed to hear you say all that." Justin was still sobbing. He couldn't stop, but he now felt like he was ready for his first time.

"I can't, not now, you are too weak, to upset." Brian hated to turn down Justin, but he had to make the right decision. Justin pulled his pants off and then his boxers, he stood to let him self sit down on Brian. As soon as he stood he fell back. Trying to catch his balance, he tried again. He fell again.

"Can you help me?" Justin was still bent on doing it, but Brian would not let him hurt himself.

"I can't. I don't want to hurt you, not tonight. But soon." Brian pulled Justin down next to him, and pulled Justin's pants up from around his ankles.

"Please. I'm ready now, I'm ready." Justin was beginning to sweat, and his sobs were still uncontrollable.

"I can't, you aren't ready, you just want to be, you are crying, sweating, and you can't stop, you need to sleep." Brian was trying to let Justin see the truth behind him. Justin was shaking with sobs, tears running down his face.

Justin realized that he was in fact not really read. Brian was right, he couldn't stop shaking, and at the moment, he felt very sick.

"Brian, I think I'm gonna throw up. Can you help me to the bathroom?" Justin was begging Brian practically, Brian helped him up and took him into the bath room setting him down in front of the toilet, and lifting up the lid.

"I'm here, don't worry" Brian was right behind Justin assuring him that nothing was wrong. Justin began to vomit, as Brian watched. Justin was throwing up in the toilet, on the floor, and on himself. The shaking was violent, and he knew that Justin needed to go to sleep warm and sound.

"You need to sleep, but first let me get you some more clothes." Brian grabbed another pair of pants and a sweatshirt. He stepped back in and helped Justin into the new clothes. He pulled them on, and then picked Justin up.

"I'm gonna put you in bed and then call the guys to tell them that I can't make the rehearsal tomorrow." Brian said, as he carried Justin into the bed. He picked up the phone and dialed Kevin's number.

"Hello." Kevin answered his phone.

"Yeah, Kev, I can't talk, but um, I won't be making it to the rehearsals tomorrow, Justin's really sick, he's throwing up, and shaking. So I'm gonna stick by with him." Brian was kinda of tellng and kinda questioning it.

"Alright, talk to you tomorrow, bye" Kevin said as he hung up.

That was easy. Brian thought to himself. He walked back over to the bed, and got inside, he held Justin and then realized that the room was still cold, "Hang on" Brian got up and walked over to the heater, turning it up full blast.

"Comfortable" Brian asked as he got back in bed and hugged Justin again.

"Yeah, but could you lay down, so I can put my head on your chest." Justin asked, of Brian. Brian relaxed from his sitting position and fell into a laying one. Justin put his head on Brian's chest and wrapped his arms around him. Justin couldn't sleep, but he was comfortable on Brian.

"Better?" Brian asked

"Yeah, much."Justin was still shaking, but he was much better now that Brian was holding him. Justin began to doze off, and Brian fell asleep too.

JC and LANCE'S ROOM

"Wanna talk about it?" Lance was puzzled by JC's silence. Usually JC was loud and angered by Justin, but now he was silent, and thinking. He was not under control of the situation, and it was not something JC liked to talk about.

"No, I gotta think." JC hollered his answer back to Lance. He was now feeling the anger build up, and he wanted to find Justin, and let it out, but Justin was behind closed doors.

"Yeah, well I wanna talk about earlier." Lance boldly blurted out. He was not referring to the fight, or Justin's fear, but of the blow job he had given JC earlier.

"What?" JC did not understand Lance. He was puzzled by Lance's words.

"I wanna know why you said my name?" Lance was not use to JC screaming his name in pleasure.

"I got caught up in it, don't get used to it." JC thought before he answered, but he answered truthfully, he wasn't a fag.

"You wanna go at it again?" Lance asked after the answer. "I mean, we both need to let out some tension." Lance was now begging JC. Lance was not gay, but just the feel of him pleasing a man, someone stronger then him, made him feel powerful.

"No, not really." JC let his words flow out of his mouth as he opened the door and walked out.

"Fuck." Lance was pissed, he didn't know where JC was going, but he knew that if JC didn't tell Lance then he was probably angered more then usualy.

CHAPTER 4 -- SICKNESS BRINGS NEW HEALTH

Brian and Justin were still asleep, Justin still wrapped tightly around Brian. He fell asleep the night earlier, sick and shaking. Down the hall Lance fell asleep waiting for JC, but JC never returned back to the hotel. In the morning he would return...

JC and LANCE'S ROOM

"Hey, get up." JC was screaming and shaking Lance.

"Yeah, what is it?" Lance groggily asked of his friend.

"We gotta go to practice." JC informed Lance

"You mean it's already 10?" Lance didn't usually sleep in, but he found himself unable to wake on this morning.

"No, but it's close. 9:45." JC let out the words.

"Alright, give me a sec." Lance stood and wandered into the bathroom. "Hey, is Justin going to go today?" Lance yelled from behind the bathroom door.

"I don't know, I haven't called their room." JC yelled back.

"Try, and see, he has to start rehearsing." Lance replied as he walked out. Neither of the two knew of Justin's sickness the night before. They wouldn't care though. They needed to start to rehearse or the tour would never begin.

"Hand me the phone." JC ordered of Lance. Lance handed him the hotel phone, and JC started to dial. The phone rang three times, but no answer.

"No one's their, or they're still asleep." JC threw the phone back down on the reciever.

"Let's go knock." Lance laughed.

"Yeah, like they'll let us in." JC saw the joke, and laughed back.

"Maybe they didn't lock the door."Lance questioned.

"I'm sure they did." JC remembered the night before, he thought Justin and Brian would want to be alone.

Little did he know that Brian had not locked the door, he had left it open in the rush to re-enter his room, after Justin ran into it crying. He was in to much of a hurry to lock the door, when Justin needed to be taken care of.

"Well, let's just go, if he's there, then he's there, if not then we yell at him when we get back." Lance finished the conversation and the two headed down the hall for the elevator.

BRIAN'S ROOM

Kevin Richardson, the leader of the BSB, and the oldest was walking down the hall towards Brian and Justin's room. He needed to talk to Brian, and he figured the two would be up by now.

As he made his way to the room, he heard no noise from the inside.

"Maybe they are still asleep?" Kevin muttered under his breath, but knocked any ways. After several knocks and no answer, Kevin tried the knob. It turned with ease and Kevin entered the room. He looked around and saw Justin clutching to Brian in the bed. Kevin didn't want to wake them, but he had to talk to Brian before he left for rehearsals.

Kevin made his way closer to the side of the bed that occupied Brian. He lightly tapped his cousin on the shoulder in a loving way, and waited for a response.

"Go back to sleep Justin." Brian said, half asleep, half awake. He didn't even look up to see his cousin.

"Justin's still asleep." Kevin whispered to his cousin. Brian looked up at the familiar voice, and rubbed his eyes.

"How'd you get in the room?" Brian questioned with confusion.

"You didn't lock it I guess." Kevin was now feeling wrong for waking him, and entering the room with out permission. He felt embarrassed to see his younger cousin in the arms of another man. It had never bothered Kevin that Brian was gay, but it did bother him now, he would need time to adjust and he knew it.

"Yeah, well was there something you wanted to talk about?" Brian was now fully awake, and he was trying to usher Kevin out the door as fast as he could.

"Um, yeah, I just wanted you to know that we have a press conference tonight in the lobby, and you have to be their, but Justin can't go." Kevin let out the words, feeling sad by having to let Brian know that he would have to leave Justin alone.

"What will he do? You just want me to leave him with JC, is that it?" Brian was angered, but he did not raise his voice, he did not want Justin to wake up in fear like the day earlier.

"No, but he can't go. If they see you hugging him every two seconds, they might think something is up. I mean we may know, and NSYNC may know, and our families can know, but not the world." Kevin was now just as angered as Brian, but he too did not raise his voice. He knew that Justin looked at Kevin and AJ as saviors, who never raised their voice when Justin was around, and he didn't want to ruin that for Justin.

"Then what will he do? He can't go with any of them, Joey and Chris may be making up for the past, but Justin doesn't trust any of them." Brian was now pleaing with his older cousin, to see things in his light. "Please, just let him come, he won't be a problem, he'll just sit behind us." Brian was begging Kevin, trying to get his cousin to realize how bad it was hurting Brian to have this conversation.

"Joey and Chris will watch him, and they won't hurt him. They'll take him to the pool or something." Kevin was now turning his back to his cousin, and heading towards the door. "I'm sorry, but it has to be done this way." Kevin now walked out of the room, and slowly shut the door behind him.

Brian was in awe, he had used everything he knew to try and convince Kevin, and it hadn't worked. He would have to tell Justin. He didn't know how, and he certainly wasn't go to wake him, not yet.

JOEY AND CHRIS'S ROOM

Kevin was now heading towards the room of the only trust worthy NSYNC members, he knocked.

"Come in." Joey yelled as he walked towards the door. Kevin opened the door, and walked in. "Hey Kev. What's up?" Joey asked Kevin.

"Can you do a favor for Brian and me tonight?" Kevin asked of Joey.

"I don't know, we are just about to go to rehearsal, and I don't know when we'll be back. Did you stop by Justin's room? Is he ready?" Joey let out his reply, and then asked his own question.

"Um, well Justin's still asleep, he isn't going to rehearsal, and ours was cancelled." Kevin informed Joey of the situation.

"Why isn't Justin going?" Joey looked for an answer in Kevin.

"He got sick last night, and he is still sleeping." Kevin had to tell Joey the bad news, and then ask him a bad question. Kevin knew it would be hurt to get Joey to watch Justin, but with him being sick it would be even harder.

"Oh, well why do you need my help tonight?" Joey passed of Justin's sickness and went back to the first subject.

"Um, we have a conference, and Justin can't go, but we need some one to stay with him, take him swimming or something. Just to keep an eye on him." Kevin was stuttering out ideas, and information hoping that Joey would accept the offer.

"I don't know what time is the conference?" Joey was hoping it would interfere in the times, he didn't want to have to take care of some one. He didn't like being around sick people.

"It's at about, 9, 9:15." Kevin answered "but it will only be for like half an hour, an hour tops." Kevin was trying to make it seem like nothing. But he knew that an hour with Justin, would not be easy for any one but Brian. And it was hard on him usually.

"I guess, I'll just take him swimming with Chris and me." Joey knew he would end up regretting it, but he knew that Chris and himself could handle Justin for an hour. "If he acts up, we'll just threaten him with our back hand." Joey made the joke, and laughed it off.

"Yeah, well I hope you are joking." Kevin laughed back. "Thanks though." Kevin turned and walked out the door.

"What was that about?" Chris asked as he walked out of the bathroom, ready for the rehearsal.

"It was just Kevin." Joey told Chris as he walked to his bed, to grab a change of clothes.

"Really, what did he want?" Chris was always intrigued by other people's conversations.

"Well, we're gonna watch Justin later on tonight, take him swimming. You know, because Kevin and them have to go to a press conference for an hour or so." Joey was hoping Chris would agree.

"Okay, so in other words, we get stuck babysitting." Chris said sarcastically, laughing at himself.

"Yeah, the baby is the sick, and he isn't going to rehearsals today either. But we get him from about 9 to 10 or something." Joey was now telling Chris about the rehearsals and Justin not being able to make them.

"JC's gonna be pissed, but we can't let him know that we are in charge of Justin tonight." Chris was trying to think of ways to keep the secret from JC and Lance.

"Yeah, well we just won't tell him anything. Just act on like you don't know where Justin is or why he isn't going today." Joey told Chris, and Chris agreed with a nod, as the two exited the room and made their way to the limo. It would be a long car ride, and they knew it.

BRIAN AND JUSTIN'S ROOM

Brian was now busying himself with getting ready for the day. AJ had called and the guys were all going to meet in the lobby to go catch lunch some where at noon. Justin was awake, but still in the bed.

"Where are we gonna go?" Justin asked Brian.

"I don't know, we will decide in the limo, I guess." Brian knew it would be hard to explain why Justin Timberlake was out with the guys of BSB when his band was rehearsing, but he hoped that they could find a quiet restaruant.

"Oh." Justin wasn't to happy that they were going out, but at least he would be able to spend some time with Brian and the other guys.

"I have to tell you something." Brian was going to explain to Justin about the events that were going to take place later on that night. It may have only been 11:30, but Brian wanted to get the conversation over with before the group lunch.

"Yeah." Justin said as he started to get out of the bed so he himself could get ready.

"Um, you are going to go swimming later on tonight for awhile." Brian didn't tell him with who, or when, but just the information.

"Really, when are we going?" Justin didn't understand the whole statement.

"No, just you and Joey and Chris. I can't, I have to go to a press conference, and Kevin says you can't be their for press reasons." Brian did not look up, he just continued to hand Justin his clothes.

"Oh, and when did I say I wanted to go with Joey and Chris?" Justin grabbed the clothes and began to undress out of his old ones. He was pissed that Brian and Kevin had decided what he was going to do with out discussing it with him.

"I didn't think you would want to be alone, and well they are the only other ones, we can trust." Brian was trying to justify his reasons. He didn't want to let Justin go with them, but he knew they were trust worthy.

"I don't want to be, but I don't want to be with them. I don't want to swim. I can go with you and just watch, Can't I?" Justin was upset, he had 20 minutes to get dressed, and he couldn't even put his clothes on, as he still thought about what he was going to do later on.

"I wish you could, I suggested it, but they will take care of you, they won't let you drown. I know you aren't up for anything physical, so just stay in the shallow end or the hot tub." Brian was giving Justin ideas. He knew that Justin wasn't going to take them. He knew that he wouldn't be able to give Justin a real reason why he couldn't go.

"Please." Justin couldn't say anything else, as Brian began to pull the pants Justin was holding up around his waist. He raised Justin's arms as he slid on Justin's grey turtleneck. "Please" Justin begged again, looking down at Brian who was now putting Justin's shoes on.

"I can't, I'm sorry, please understand." Brian was ready to break down and let Justin come, but he couldn't, Kevin wouldn't let it.

"Please take me, Please." Justin continued to beg.

"Let's talk about this after lunch." Brian let Justin lean on him as they walked out of the door. Brian was upset that he had to hurt Justin, but it was for the best. Brian made his way to the elevator, and then from their, he helped Justin into the lobby to wait for the others.

"Hey, you beat us here." AJ hollered to Justin and Brian from the elevator door. Kevin, Howie, and Nick were all with him.

"Yeah, we were ready early." Brian answered for Justin who still wouldn't look up.

"Let's go, the limo is waiting, and we can decide where we want to go." Howie was the first to break through the doors, and head towards the limo.

"Yeah, that's a good idea." Brian agreed as he helped Justin to his feet. Justin fell onto Brian's shoulder and headed out the door, into the limo.

"So where do you guys wanna go?" Nick asked as the door closed behind him.

"Italion." Howie answered

"Chinese" AJ spoke up next.

"I'll say Chinese too." Kevin agreed with AJ

"Itallion" Nick was the next, taking the side of Howie.

"Brian what do you and Justin want?" Nick looked at Brian.

"Um, I think Chinese would be good." Brian spoke up, looking to see Justin's reaction.

"I don't care." Justin mumbled his words out.

"Alright, Chinese it is then." AJ boasted.

"Yeah, well next time we are getting Itallion." Howie was mad that he had lost the vote, but he would eat Chinese this time.

"You sure Chinese is okay Justin?" AJ now turned his attention to Justin.

"Yeah whatever." Justin was still only mumbling.

"Are you okay?" AJ asked Justin, but really was looking at Brian for an answer.

"He's just upset about something." Brian didn't want to tell the guys that it was their problem just as much as his.

"What?" AJ asked trying to find more out about the conversation.

"Yeah, you can tell us." Kevin now found himself listening.

"Can you guys take me with you?" Justin asked now looking up.

"We are, you are going to lunch with us." Nick answered in confusion. Only Kevin and Brian knew the real question, and Kevin was still confused by the circumstances.

"No, to the press conference, I'll just sit their, I won't cry, I won't moan, I won't call for Brian, please just let me go and watch." Justin was now beggin with every one, not just Brian.

"Um, I don't know." Was all that Nick could squeeze out.

"We're sorry, but we can't let the press see you with us in tears." Kevin now spoke up as the one in charge.

"Please, I don't wanna be away." Justin didn't say the last few words, but they knew what he meant was to be away from Brian.

"I told you, that Joey and Chris will take care of you." Brian tried to silence Justin's pleas.

"Fine, I don't wanna talk about it any more." Justin was no longer quiet, he said it loudly and then turned away again.

"Let's change the subject, how about ex-girlfriends or ex-lovers." Howie suggested trying to choose a lighter topic. One the guys could joke about.

"Yeah, like that time you dated that fan, and then she followed us around the whole tour." AJ laughed nudging Nick in the arm.

"I can't help it if I'm irristible." Nick joked back with AJ.

"What about you, date any one strange Justin?" Nick brought his attention to Justin again.

"No." was all Justin would say.

"Not even a little wierd, bad teeth, greasy hair, nothing?" Nick tried to get Justin to talk more.

"No." Justin still uttered the same word.

"Your dating Brian, he's pretty wierd." AJ tried to lighten Justin's mood.

"No." Justin said it again, he was defending Brian partially, and partially still answer the other questions.

"What you don't think Brian's wierd? We do." Howie now joined in.

"Yeah, well I think you guys are wierd too." Brian laughed trying to get Justin to laugh too. "He doesn't think I'm wierd, because I love him, and he loves me." Brian was now trying to make Justin happy about something.

"Really, that's sick, how could any one love Brian Litrell." Kevin joined in.

"I know, he's such a freak." Nick jumped into the mix.

"I do, I guess." Everyone looked up to see Justin joining in.

"You guess, you guess." Brian teased with a goofy angered expression on his face.

"Yeah, well some times you are a freak." Justin teased. "But most of the times, your the nicest guy I know." Justin was serios now. He wanted Brian to know that he was thankful for all the things he had done for him.

"I am nice aren't I." Brian said as he made notions of gagging to the other guys. Every one began to laugh, even Justin.

"Not now." Justin laughed "Now your the freak." Justin was getting happier. "I guess I'll go swimming tonight."

"Really, you aren't mad." Brian stopped laughing to look at Justin's facial expressions.

"Yeah" Justin was still upset about it, but he wanted to go to lunch with every thing out of the way.

"Great, it won't be long, I promise." Brian leaned in and grabbed the back of Justin's head. He pulled him in for a kiss. Their lips met, and Brian pushed his tongue in, licking the crevices of Justin's mouth. It was only the 3rd or 4th kiss, but Brian felt like he knew Justin's mouth. Brian pulled back and kissed Justin on the cheek. "Thanks" Brian was happy that Justin would agree.

"Your welcome" Justin replied, still shocked by the kiss he just had. His eyes were closed, he was trying to relive it. As Brian leaned in and probed his tongue back in. He moved his lips over Justin's, getting a moan from his lover. Justin's was thrilled that Brian kissed him again, and he let it show with the moans.

"Excuse me, but that's cute and all, but we're at the restaruant." Howie said as he tapped the two on the heads. Brian pulled out and looked at Justin. Justin was still awed by the kiss and did not make any side of moving or getting up.

"Coming?" Howie asked Justin as Brian made his way out of the car.

"Huh?" Justin now realized he was the only one left, and looked around seeing Brian and Howie by the limo door. "Yeah" Justin crawled towards the door and pulled himself out. He had a hard time walking by himself, but he knew that people would stare if he asked for help. As he started to walk he felt hands grab him and help him. He looked to his sides, and saw Brian and Howie each on a side. "Thanks." Justin didn't want the help but he did need it.

"Sure anything for the guy that can't stand after my lips touch his." Brian laughed at Justin.

"It wasn't that, I just can't stand because I'm a little tired, you didn't do it." Justin smirked, knowing he was not telling the truth.

"What ever, even I know your lying." Howie said as they helped Justin into the lobby of the building.

"How many?" a young woman approached the men.

"5, I mean 6." Kevin answered, forgetting that Justin was with them. He was used to it being a BSB thing.

"Forget about me?" Justin asked as Brian and Howie walked him over to the group.

"No, just slipped my mind." Kevin said a little embarrassed at forgetting him. "Do you guys have to hold him, we're gonna get a lot of stares if you do?" Kevin wasn't trying to be rude, but he was telling the truth.

"I didn't realize I was a problem." Justin said as he back off from Brian and Howie, catching his balance by placing a hand on the side of a bench.

"I didn't mean it like that." Kevin tried to apologize.

"I know." Justin realized that he was being childish. "I can do it though." Just assured the group he would be fine.

"Right this way please." the young woman said as she returned with some menus. The boys followed her to their seats, and Justin scooted into the booth first so he could sit up against the wall. He didn't feel like sitting up straight and this way he could lean up against something. Nick went in next, and Kevin took the end of that side. Brian slid in first on his side, so he could sit across from Justin. Then Howie and then AJ on the end of their side.

"May I take your orders for drinks?" The woman asked politely.

"Yes, I'll have a coke" Nick was the first to answer her.

"Me too." Justin next.

"I'll have a beer." AJ was the next

"Yeah." Kevin agreed with AJ.

"I'll take a beer too." Howie answered.

"What the hell, give me a beer too." Brian told the waitress. The waitress wrote it all down, and then walked away.

"I can't stand being 20, one more year and I can drink, and you guys drink around me." Nick complained.

"Don't worry, now at least Justin can hang with you, when we go to bars." AJ teased.

"Hey, If we wanted I bet me and Nick could get a beer from that waitress." Justin said trying to defend himself and Nick from getting teased.

"Don't even try, I don't wanna get kicked out." AJ laughed.

"Yeah, you guys can't pass for 21, no way." Howie laughed back.

"What's the worse they'll do, just ask for our ideas, if they don't trust us." Nick now began in the arguement.

"Sorry but your not drinking." Brian said not joking, he was looking at Justin like a boy friend, and Nick like a bestfriend. "I'm not gonna let you, because you are underage." Brian said trying to warn them.

"OH, how you gonna stop us." Nick joked in a feared expression.

"I'll tell the waitress." Brian said, now knowing that it would end the conversation. He knew that Nick wouldn't try anything after hearing that. As a long time friend, Nick knew Brian wasn't joking. But Justin didn't.

"Here ya go fella's. Two cokes and 4 beers. Anything else I can get you before you order?" The waitress handed the guys their drinks and then waited for a reply.

"Yeah could I get a beer too?" Justin asked hesitantly.

"Sure, I'll be right back with that." The waitress turned and walked away.

"Huh, now who was right?" Justin asked looking at every one. He got no reply. "What, it's not like I did anything so bad." Justin didn't know why every one was silent.

"You aren't drinking it you know." Brian looked at Justin.

"Why not?" Justin asked

"Because you aren't old enough, your 19, you think your mom would let you drink?" Kevin answered before Brian could. Justin looked around for some one to take his seat, but no one looked up.

"Oh, you can have it then." Justin said staring at Brian. Brian smiled that he had won, but was angry that Justin would even try to win over the group.

"Here you go." The waitress had arrived back and handed Justin his drink. "Can I take your orders now?" She asked looking at Justin first.

"Some one else go, I'm not ready." Justin said.

"I'll take the buffet." Nick went next.

"Yeah me too." Howie went next.

"I guess I will take the buffet too." AJ agreed. By the time the waitress had asked every one what they wanted, it was Justin's turn again. The whole table had unamiously decided on the buffet, and it didn't give Justin much time to think.

"Um, I'm not hungry, I'll just stick with my drinks." Justin said as he handed the waitress his menu.

"Alright, you guys can help yourself to the buffet, and I'll check back later to see if you need anything." The waitress walked away. All the guys but Justin stood up and walked to the buffet. Justin wondered what the guys would do if he just took one drink of his beer. He knew they would be mad, but he decided to do it any ways, while they were gone. He pulled it up and took a gulp.

"What are you doing?" Nick crawled back into his seat next to Justin.

"Um, nothing just, uh, never mind." Justin said knowing Nick would tell the others. The others came back and Justin waited to see what Nick would do. Nick didn't mention it.

"Alright, give it to me." Brian said making Justin hand it over.

"Can't I try it first." Justin asked looking into Brian's eyes.

"Ahem" Nick acted like he was choking to get Justin's attention. Justin handed the beer over to Brian.

"You okay Nick?" Brian asked after looking at Justin and then back at Nick.

"Yeah, fine, just went down the wrong pipe." Nick said glancing at Justin. He sat their listening to the conversations.

"So what is going down at the conference tonight?" Nick spoke up with his question, while stuffing an egg roll into his mouth.

"Um, we are going to answer some questions about the upcoming tour, and um personal stuff, you know just like usual." Kevin told the group as he looked around. Justin thought about what Kevin had said, and then realized what Kevin had said. 'Personal stuff' It rang in Justin's mind.

"Is that why I can't go?" Justin asked. "Because of the personal questions?" Justin asked, he was not mad just trying to find out the real reason.

"Yeah, I guess." Kevin answered realizing that Justin wasn't mad. Brian leaned in and kissed Justin lightly to let him know that it didn't matter. He did it quick so no one would notice.

"So, you took a drink any ways?"Brian slightly raised his voice, for the others to hear. Justin jumped back from leaning across the table and sat up straight.

"Um, I, um, I just tried it while you were gone." Justin didn't know how to answer.

"Then you asked to try it again, when we came back?" Brian was angered, and he didn't yell but he was loud.

"Calm down Brian." Nick said noticing Justin backing off more from the conversation. "It was just a sip." Nick let out that he had saw it, which wasn't a smart move for the topic.

"You watched him do it. And you didn't tell us?" Brian turned his attention away from Justin and now towards Nick.

"Yeah, well I caught him doing it when I came back, but I didn't think it was a big deal." Nick justified himself.

"It was just a sip, it's okay."Kevin tried to assure Brian to calm down. He too just wanted the conversation to change.

"Fine, finish the bottle." Brian said as he handed the beer back to Justin. He still hadn't finished his own, and the Justin's was still full except for the sip he had taken earlier.

"What?" Justin didn't know whether or not to take it.

"You heard me, finish the bottle, you started it." Brian tried to force the bottle into Justin's hands.

"I don't want to now." Justin said trying to back away further.

"Why not?" Brian questioned Justin's behavior.

"Because I don't." Justin didn't have a reason, he was doing it because he didn't want to start a fight with the group. He didn't want Brian to be mad at him.

"Alright" Brian put his hand under the table and grabbed Justin's. He stroked it and let Justin know it was okay.

"Um, so, do we have anything that we have to know about the conference. Like what we should answer and what we shouldn't." Howie was wondering about the conference still, and he wanted to drop the subject that was just brought up.

"Yeah, of course we don't want them to know about Brian and Justin." AJ laughed.

"Duh, they don't even know I'm gay." Brian laughed.

"And they won't know, it'll be our little secret." Kevin laughed, trying to be serious and funny at the same time.

"Are we going to go out afterwards, to hit a bar or something?" AJ asked.

"Yeah, maybe, but what about Nick and Justin." Howie knew that they would probably go to a bar, but he didn't know what Nick and Justin would do.

"Nick can join me and Joey can Chris after the conference at the pool." Justin said, he was upset that they guys were going to go to a bar. "Maybe Joey and Chris could join you guys and me and Nick will just hang out, if that's okay with him." Justin looked at Nick.

"Yeah, finally some one can stick around with me." Nick was happy that he wasn't the youngest any more.

"Alright, then it's settle we're going out?" Brian looked around for an answer.

"Yeah." Kevin let out his answer.

"Are you sure that you will be fine back at the hotel?" Justin turned to look at Brian. He didn't know why Brian would ask the question.

"Yeah, Chris and Joey will keep me company during the conference, and then they can go with you guys, and I will just swim down at the pool with Nick." Justin assured Brian.

"I can handle him, I'm older then him, if he gets rowdy, I'll just lay down the law." Nick laughed raising his arms above his head. Justin moved back a little, but then laughed at the comment.

"What ever, one year ain't much." Justin boasted.

"Yeah, but your still younger, so you better respect your elders, or I'll drown you." Nick said goofily.

"You better not touch my boyfriend, or I'll drown you." Brian warned playfully.

"Anything else I can do for you?" The guys looked up to see the waitress standing over them. Brian's first thoughts were, did she hear me say that.

"Um, no just the check will be fine." Kevin answered.

"That was close." AJ blurted out as the waitress walked away.

"Do you think she heard me?" Brian asked hoping they would say no.

"She was their the whole time, once Nick said he'd drown me." Justin said, but it didn't seem to phase him.

"What? You knew?" Brian requested an answer from his boyfriend.

"She didn't even recognize us. I couldn't just stop the conversation." Justin answered, still thinking nothing out of the ordinary happened.

"Yeah well, what if she does when we sign the bill." Kevin thought of the one thing no one else would have.

"I didn't think of that. I'm sorry." Justin didn't know what to say. He had thought it was no big deal, but after hearing that, he knew it was a bad move on his part.

"Let's just get out of here. As soon as the bill comes, I'll sign it, and we can leave." Kevin let them know what was going to happen. "Never mind, just go to the limo now." Kevin looked around the table sending most of his focus onto Justin. The group left the table and went to the car. Justin straggling behind, with out any one to help him.

Justin pulled himself into the car and sat down next to AJ. Brian was on the far inside, and Justin was forced to sit on the side towards the drivers end, instead of his window seat earlier. Kevin was right behind Justin, having enough time to catch up because of Justin's slowness. Kevin went into the limo sitting directly across from Justin.

"That was the closet we ever came to any one realizing Brian was gay." Kevin let out his anger, directly facing Justin.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I didn't say anything." Justin didn't look up to see the face yelling at him. He didn't want to argue with Kevin.

"Yeah well, maybe you should have thought about it. You could've screwed up both bands." Kevin barked out his last words, and looked around the car for some agreeance, no one looked up at either of them. No one wanted to get involved in the arguement. Even Brian was silent, looking out the window.

"Um, I, I'm sorry." Justin didn't know what else to say. He would just apologize to the whole group, and hope that it worked to get every one happy again.

"You should be, your lucky no one recognized you." Kevin wasn't letting up. He had heard the apology, but he was still going. He could not accept the reasons for Justin to do such a stupid thing.

"He gets it, let off him." Nick was the one standing up for him this time. Brian still didn't look up.

"No, he needs to learn that you can't do stupid shit like this in public. You don't let some one carry on a conversation, calling you their boyfriend when you know perfect strangers are around you." Kevin had begun his arguement with Nick, but was now focusing his yelling at Justin again. Justin was going back to his core feeling, fear. Kevin was just inches away from him and Justin was backing off.

"Look at him, he knows it was wrong. Now just back off." AJ was now jumping in the fight, but still Brian just looked out the window.

"Quit defending him, he could have fucked up the whole tour if she caught onto the conversation." Kevin was now hollering at the top of his lungs. Justin was now curling up, bringing his legs to his chest.

"Your scaring him." AJ screamed back.

"Brian." Justin whispered out the only name he knew he could in this situation. He knew Brian was the only one who could really comfort him and calm him down. Brian turned his attention from the window to the car ride. He thought he had heard his name, but wasn't sure. He scanned the seats, and then saw Justin curled up and Kevin and AJ staring each other down.

"I don't give a shit, maybe if he didn't.." Kevin couldn't finish his next statement before he was interrupted.

"Move." Brian was forcing his way through Howie and then Kevin. He then leaned over the seat. "Justin, come 'er." Brian pulled Justin across the seats onto his lap and stroked his hair and back. "It's okay, they were just mad, everything's fine now." Brian tried to calm Justin down. He knew it would be hard. "When we get back to the hotel what do you want to do for the rest of the day?" Brian tried to change the subject. He knew that if he spent the rest of the day with Justin that it may calm Justin down. Justin still showed no sign of an answer.

"Why'd you raise your voice to him." Brian asked staring at his cousin, who he was now sitting next to.

"I was pissed, he fucked up, and I couldn't help but lose my temper." Kevin was now calming down but he was still loud.

"Quiet down."Brian was trying to get the limo quiet so Justin would sit up and go back to his seat.

"I wanna get a massage."Justin slowly whispered into Brian's ear.

"Alright, I'll call room service when we get back." Brian did not whisper, he knew that Justin was only whispering because he didn't want the others to know he was talking.

"No, I don't want some one I don't know to hurt me." Justin whispered into Brian's ear still.

"What do you mean?" Brian was confused. Every one else was looking at Brian like he was insane, because they did not know who he was talking to.

"I want you to give me one." Justin now was talking loud enough for others to hear.

"You want what?" Nick asked out of confusion. The whole group heard nothing but Justin's last phrase, and were unsure of who he was talking to.

"Nothing." Brian said looking around to notice all the eyes were on Justin. "What time is it?" Brian asked the question to change the subject.

"It's 3:30. Why?" AJ was questioning Brian because he wanted to know the real reason behind him changing the subject.

"Just wanted to know how long before the conference." Brian responded looking down at Justin and smiling.

"Yeah well we have to be done their by 8:15, to set up and wait for the press. Then we will take about 20 questions, give or take, and then we can hit the bar." Kevin answered his cousin.

"You still care if I go?" Brian found himself asking Justin for some reassurance. He didn't want to leave Justin unless it was okay with him.

"No, have fun, I'll just hang out with Nick." Justin moved back to his seat and answered the question.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of him." Nick joked nudging Justin. Justin laughed. "What do you want to do tonight?" Nick asked Justin, realizing that he really didn't have any suggestions himself.

"I don't know, swim or something." Justin tossed out the only real idea he had. "I mean I'll be down their with Joey and Chris before that, so I might as well just stay in." Justin didn't let any one know that he really didn't want to be away from Brian. But he knew Brian couldn't take him with him, and he didn't want Brian to lose out.

"Cool, works with me, we can race laps or something." Nick suggested

"Yeah, maybe." Justin said as the car came to a halt at the hotel. "I guess where here."

"Yep, every one can do what ever they want until 8, but meet down here at 8:00 sharp." Every one exited the car, listening to Kevin's words. "Hey, Justin wait up, can we talk." Kevin ran catching up to Justin and Brian. "Alone" Kevin looked at Brian to let him know it would be okay.

"Yeah, I'll wait inside Justin." Brian let Justin lean up for himself and walked in the building.

"Need a hand." Kevin said as he helped Justin stand and let him lean on his shoulder.

"Thanks." Justin said wondering why Kevin was being nice to him all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry about earlier, I just lost my cool, I didn't mean to scare you like that." Kevin said helping Justin begin to walk towards the building.

"I know, I'll get over it." Justin tried to make light of the situation.

"Alright, let's get you inside to Brian. He probably misses you already." Kevin began to walk towards the door, helping Justin on the way.

"Yeah, well who wouldn't miss me?" Justin joked with Kevin. "I'm just so cute." Justin said making a childish glare at Kevin.

"Sure. Just think that and it may come true." Kevin laughed out as he entered the door looking around for Brian. He saw no sign of his younger cousin any where. "He must have went to the room, I'll take you up." Kevin assured Justin.

"Thanks." Justin said as they slowly made their way to the elevator.

"I'm sorry sir, the elevator is closed for repairs. We apologize for the inconvience, but we are going to have to ask that you use the stairs." A bellhop was standing in from the elevator as Kevin and Justin approached it.

"Did you see a young man, brown hair, blue eyes, walk by?" Kevin asked the bell hop.

"Yes, he went up the stairs two minutes ago." The bellhop answered and Kevin led Justin to the steps.

"You think you can make it?" Kevin didn't want to make Justin walk up the steps, but their was no other way to get up their.

"Could you get AJ or Nick to help?"Justin asked of Kevin.

"Yeah, I'll be right back." Kevin led Justin to the couch in the lobby and made his way up the steps. "I'll be back soon." Kevin hollered back. Justin looked around the lobby, waiting for Kevin to bring some one back.

"Where were you today?" Justin turned around when he heard Joey's voice.

"I went out to lunch with the other guys." Justin said.

"So what are you doing down here, by yourself?" Joey asked Justin, looking around and not catching a glimpse of the members of BSB.

"Kevin went to get some one to help me up the steps." Justin answered turning to look through the door, hoping Kevin would return soon with help.

"So, up for some swimming later on?" Joey turned to wait for Justin's answer.

"Yeah, I guess, but once the conference is over, the guys wanted to know if you wanted to go to a bar with them." Justin informed Joey of his invitation to the bar.

"Really, what about you?"

"I'm gonna stay behind with Nick. We're gonna continue to swim until you guys get back." Justin told Joey of his plans. He turned his attention to the door as Kevin returned with AJ and Brian. He made his way back over towards Justin.

"How are we gonna do this?" AJ asked of the others.

"I'll carry him, and you guys can walk behind us and to the side, to make sure that he doesn't fall." Brian let them know his plan. Brian looked down at Justin for approval.

"What ever you think's best." Justin knew Brian was waiting for his okay and go ahead. "I don't want to make a big deal out of this, if you want I can walk." Justin was trying to brush off the attention. He didn't want every one to watch as the guys carried him to his room. He didn't like being the center of attnetion.

"I don't want." Brian said answer Justin. Brian wasn't going to let Justin make a fool out of himself. He knew that Justin was going to embarrassed if he got carried, but he didn't want Justin to hurt himself.

"Fine, let's just get it over with then." Justin stood up and let Brian pick him up. Kevin, AJ, and Joey followed and Kevin got the door for them.

"You're really heavy, ya know?" Brian teased with Justin.

"I told you I could walk. I'm not an invalid ya know." Justin was angered that Brian insisted on carrying him. Kevin and AJ were on either side of him, and Joey was taggin behind.

"Yeah, but I just thought I'd help."Brian warned Justin in his voice that he was only trying to help. "I can put you down if you want, and the rest of them won't touch you, you can walk all by yourself. All the way up the rest of the steps. It's only another floor to go." Brian said stopping on a step.

"Um, fine." Justin said as Brian put him down.

"Let's go, we'll see you at the top." Brian said looking at the rest of the guys. Joey ran to catch up and the three made their way up to the door of the third floor. Justin didn't move at first. "Come on we're waiting." Brian hollered down the steps from the doorway.

"Coming" Justin muttered as he began to walk clutching the railing for support. 'I can do this' Justin thought to himself inside his head. He slowly made his way up four steps, before stopping.

"Need a little help?" Brian hollered from above.

"No, I can do it." Justin said as he started back up again, making it up three more steps before slowing. 'Only 10 more or so' Justin thought as he continued to climb. He found himself stopping after another 2 steps. "I need, I need your help." Justin muttered out looking up the steps towards Brian. Brian came walking back down, and picked Justin back up. "Thanks." Justin looked down towards the floor, as he showed Brian his appriciation.

"Yeah, well when we get back, I'll give you that massage." Brian whispered into Justin's ear. "You could use it now." Brian teased.

"Thanks." Justin now looked up into Brian's eyes, as they made it to the door way, and followed Kevin, AJ and Joey to their room. Kevin got the door for them and Brian let the door slam shut, he set Justin down on the bed, and then went back and locked the door.

"Why wouldn't you let me carry you?" Brian looked down at Justin frowning. He wanted to know why Justin always pushed him away, when he knew Justin really needed him.

"I thought I could do it myself." Justin sank down into the bed, pushing his shoes off with his feet. "Ughhhh." Justin moaned as he fell backward onto the bed.

"I think your ready for that massage." Brian teased. "Why don't you get undressed while I get you a robe?" Brian suggested.

"Thanks." Justin said as he began to slip his pants off. He was in pain from the walk and could barely do it himself, but he wanted to be ready when Brian got back from the bathroom. Justin was taking off his shirt when Brian walked back in. Justin still had his socks and his boxers on. Brian walked over and slipped Justin's socks off followed by his boxers.

"Alright, lay down on the bed, and relax." Brian laughed finally realizing the actual event that was going to take place. He was going to give his lover a massage, even though he had never given any one a massage. Justin flipped himself over and grabbed a pillow to rest his head on.

"Ohhh" Justin began to moan as Brian began on his shoulders. Justin was tense, but Brian was slowly loosening him up. It was already 4:30, and Brian had less then 4 hours to spend with his boyfriend before he had to go, and he wanted Justin to be comfortable.

"Just relax, try and sleep and I'll take care of everything." Brian continued to work on Justin's shoulders and upper back. He rolled Justin's back and massaged Justin in ways Justin had never been touched.

"Ummhhhh" Justin released a new moan as Brian began to work on his ass. Brian used his hands to caress Justin's bottom. He caught himself staring at his boyfriends back side, remember when he had tried to make love to Justin days earlier. Leaning down Brian began to lick Justin's crease. He continued to massage it with his hands, and now his tongue. Brian heard no resent from Justin and continued. He looked up after a few minutes and still no noise, and noticed that Justin was asleep clutching the pillow.

"I did what I wanted to. I relaxed him." Brian laughed to himself.

"Justin you have to get up now. I have to get going in 5 minutes." Brian tried to wake Justin. He had put Justin in the robe, and set him into bed right. "Justin, wake up." Brian got raised his voice slightly, as he shook him.

"What?" Justin looked up and caught Brian smiling at him. He knew that he had to go with Joey and Chris. "Can you get my bathing suit from the suit case?" Justin asked Brian.

"Yeah, hang on." Brian walked over to Justin's luggage and took out Justin's bathing suit. He handed it to Justin and Justin put it on.

"Thanks, can we get going before I change my mind?" Justin first thanked Brian, but then asked the question, because he knew the longer he stayed around Brian the less he would want to leave him.

"Sure, I'll help you over to Joey's room." Brian helped Justin up and left the room. They walked down the hall towards Joey and Chris's room. Brian knocked and heard shuffling around.

"Hey, ready to go?" Chris asked as he opened the door catching Justin in his bathing suit.

"Yeah, but I can wait around in your room if you guys aren't ready." Justin answered noticing that Chris was not dressed.

"Cool, Joey's ready, you can sit around with him." Chris said as he walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

"Are you going to be okay?" Brian asked letting Justin stand for himself.

"Yeah, when are you coming back?" Justin asked.

"I'll stop by the pool before I leave for the bar." Brian said as he kissed Justin on the forehead and turned around. Justin didn't say anything, he just slowly made his way into the bedroom. Brian knew Justin was hurting, but he slowly closed the doors and walked down the hall.

"Hey J, you ready to have some fun?" Joey teased with Justin as he saw Justin approaching.

"Sure, it ain't like I got anything better to do." Justin laughed at Joey.

"Alright, we can head down and Chris will meet us their. Do you want me to carry you, or you just wanna lean on me?" Joey asked as he stood. Justin thought of earlier. He knew that he couldn't make it himself, but he didn't want Joey carrying him.

"I'll just lean on you if you don't mind." Justin said as he turned around and wrapped his arm aroudn Joey's neck.

"Good." Joey said as he opened the door. Joey headed towards the steps, and helped Justin along the way.

PRESS CONFERENCE IN THE LOBBY

"Alright, the guys are prepared to answer some questions." The Backstreet Boy's PR said walking towards the end of the table and then taking a seat next to Kevin at the end of the table.

"When is the tour supposed to kick back up?" The first reporter asked.

"We aren't really sure, The guys of NSYNC are having a personal problem, and it will be a while, before we can kick it back up." Kevin said.

"Would you mind telling us the problem?" The same reported question.

"Yeah, um, Justin is under the weather, and he can't perform up to par, so we are just relaxing around town for a while." AJ answered her.

"We are going to do TRL next week." Nick changed the subject, so as the questions wouldn't revolve around Justin's sickness.

"What day will you being doing TRL?"

"We aren't sure. Either Tuesday or Wednesday we think." Howie answered this question. The questions continued to pour out.

THE POOL AREA

"Come on, don't just sit their, aren't you going to get in?" Joey asked Justin while splashing him. Justin didn't have time to respond before Chris snuck up from behind him and pushed him in.

"To bad you don't have a choice now." Chris laughed as he jumped in behind Justin.

"Thanks for making up my mind." Justin laughed splashing Joey and Chris. He wasn't mad, just shocked and startled.

"So, you and Brian doing okay?" Joey asked changing the mood from joking to serious.

"He's a great boyfriend guys, don't worry." Justin said trying to assure Joey of his happiness.

"Just as long as your happy for once, then me and Chris are too." Joey said staring at Justin to get the right answer from his face.

"Well, I am. I mean he understands what I'm going through, and he doesn't make me do anything I don't want to." Justin said remember the numerous times Brian stuck by him.

"He doesn't force you into doing shit or anything? He doesn't take advantage of you?" Joey found himself questioning the youngest member's relationship.

"Of course not, he wouldn't do that." Justin said swimming out towards the deep end. Joey and Chris both followed, making sure Justin was okay.

"You sure you should be swimming in the deep end?" Chris asked Justin

"Why not? I don't have to stand or walk, so I can just float around." Justin said laying on his back.

PRESS CONFERENCE (NOW 9:45 p.m.)

"Are any of you seeing any one right now?"

"Nope, I'm single." Nick said smiling at the female reporter.

"Yeah we all are in fact, except for Brian." Howie said not realizing that he shouldn't have said what he just had.

"Really, would you mine telling us who Brian?" An older male reporter spoke up from the back.

"Well, I don't like to tell every one about my personal life, but I will tell you that yes, I am in a relationship, and it is taking a lot of adjusting. It is a big step from being a single guy, to being in a steady dating situation. I really like it though, being with some one that you can help out, and make happy." Brian said catching glares from his fellow bandmates.

"Alright folks, we are going to have to call it a wrap for tonight. The guys are getting tired, and need their rest. Thanks for your time though."The PR ushered the guys out of the lobby, and Brian took off down the back hallway towards the pool.

THE POOL AREA

"It's about ten you know, we should probably get out and get dressed for the bar." Joey said looking at Chris. "You gonna come with us or just stay here?" Joey asked Justin.

"I'll just wait, Brian is going to stop by, and Nick will be here soon." Justin answered.

"Alright, catch ya later." Joey said as he and Chris wrapped towels around their waists and left the room. Passing Brian on the way. Brian just waved as he continued his walk towards the pool.

"I missed you" Brian screamed as he walked into the pool area, noticing that no one else was around. Brian walked over towards the diving board to get closer to Justin.

"I missed you too." Justin said slowly swimming over towards the board. He was still comfortable in the pool. "Where's Nick?"

"Oh you can't have a real conversation with me, with out mentioning Nick." Brian teased.

"Oh yeah, how was your conference?" Justin asked remembering where Brian had been.

"Fine, a little boring, but fine." Brian said as he dwindled his fingers into the pool making small circles.

"So when are you guys leaving?" Justin asked noticing Brian's fingers.

"I don't know if I wanna go any more. Maybe you I could swim with you and Nick?" Brian asked, still playing with the water but staring into Justin's blue eyes.

"Um, I don't care, I'm sure Nick won't mind, we can just hang out in one of the rooms." Justin smiled back at Brian. Each staring deeply into each other's blue eyes.

"Did I hear my name?" Nick said running over towards the deep end. He was wearing his bathing suit now, and was ready to swim.

"Yeah, I was hoping I could hang out with you guys." Brian said walking off the diving board. "I don't feel like leaving, or going to a bar." Brian finished as he made his way closer to Nick.

"Sure, why not. I mean after what you just said, I know you don't wanna be away from your baby." Nick laughed at Brian, remembering the sweet things Brian had just said at the press conference.

"What did you say?" Justin asked looking at Brian and Nick. He expected the answer to come from Nick. He knew that Nick loved to tease the new couple, and enjoyed seeing the anquish in the others eyes, as he told the other something nice and sensitive.

"Nothing, just about our relationship." Brian stuttered out, slapping Nick on the arm. "It was no big deal." Brian said in a raspy tone, trying to let Nick get the hint that he shouldn't say another word about it. "I'm gonna go get my swim suit." Brian walked past Nick and towards the door.

"What did he say?" Justin asked the question again, after watching Brian leave the area. Nick just gave him a smile.

"Something sweet, just leave it at that." Nick said remember what happened the last time he brought it up rubbing his arm. Nick walked off the diving board and did a cannonball. His waves splashed Justin, as Nick went under.

"Thanks alot." Justin laughed as Nick popped his head up.

"No problem, anything for a friend." Nick joked back, splashing Justin again.

"Yeah, well for a friend, could you tell me what he said?" Justin asked again, he knew that Nick would get in trouble, but he really wanted to know what was said of him.

"Brian gets embarrassed easily, and he doesn't let his feelings out to every one. Just let it go that he said a lot of nice things about your relationship." Nick said diving under and swimming underneath Justin towards the shallow end. He popped his head up when he got to the other side. "He's a nice guy, and he really likes you." Nick said waiting for Justin to slowly swim over towards him.

"I know, I feel the same way towards him. It's like I have some one to hold me, I never had that before." Justin said as he came closer to Nick. "I'm in love with him." Justin finished up his explanation as he got right next to Nick. He looked up and noticed that Brian was coming back and was almost there.

"Wanna play a trick on him?" Nick asked quickly, knowing they didn't have much time. "Get out of the pool and stand behind the doors. I'll tell him your drowning in the deep end, and that you got stuck to the drain." Nick said laughing.

"I can't, I don't want to scare him." Justin said as he waded around. "Maybe later." Justin said noticing Nick's sadness.

"Yeah, I guess your right, it probably would freak him out." Nick said realizing that it would have been extremely mean of him to hurt Brian. Brian walked through the doors and sat down on the edge, letting his feet hit the water.

"I see you left the deep end. Sure you can stand." Brian said eyeing Justin for a response.

"I'm fine, still a little achy, but I can manage in the water." Justin said continuing to float around.

"Alright, just checking" Brian said, and then dived into the water. He came up right beside Justin. "So, what do you two wanna do tonight?"

"I don't know, your the man, you decide." Justin shook off the question, he didn't really care, he was just happy that Brian was staying with him.

"Let's just rent a movie off ppv, and hang out in your room." Nick found himself answering the question. He didn't really want to swim for long, and he knew that the movie would be a good way to occupy time.

"Then that's what we'll do, just catch a movie, and relax." Brian replied to Nick's answer, he tapped Justin on the head for his approval.

"Great, I'm kinda tired any ways, I'll probably fall asleep anyways." Justin said as stood himself upright. "Let's get going though, I don't wanna take up all the time getting me up their." Justin said smiling slightly.

"I just got here, but fine." Brian mocked anger and helped Justin out of the pool. Nick pulled himself out and grabbed three towels from the pile.

"Catch!" Nick threw the towels at Brian. Brian was able to catch one, but he dropped the other in the pool. "Smooth move." Nick laughed, and got the same reaction from Justin.

"Grab me another one will you?" Brian asked as he handed Justin the dry one. Justin began to dry himself off. "Thanks." Brian laughed as Nick catiously handed the towel to Brian. Brian finally found the funny side to the situation and let himself laugh.

"Just make sure you don't drop it. I don't know what I would do if I were your boyfriend. I wouldn't let you carry me." Nick laughed nudging Justin's shoulder. Justin smiled back.

"I'm careful with him. I wouldn't drop him." Brian gave Justin a look of love. Justin smiled back, as he walked closer to his boyfriend. "Ready to go?" Brian said wrapping his arm around Justin.

"Yeah, but I can make it up the steps by myself, just let me hold onto you." Justin reacted to the arms. He didn't want to be put in the same situation as earlier.

"Oh really, you can do it yourself, just like before. Sorry, but I'm not even letting you try this time, I'll carry you, whether you like it or not." Brian said laughing at Justin. The three came nearer to the steps, when they noticed a large group of girls ranging from 10-17 standing by the lobby desk.

"Shit, how are we going to get him up the steps, with out them noticing." Nick said in anger. He hated being chased by the fans, and with Justin in no shape to run, it wouldn't be easy.

"I don't know, maybe we could send you over to distract them?" Brian eyed Nick, and begged him with his facial expressions. "Please, it would mean alot to us." Brian said as he looked at Justin. Justin hated causing a problem. He wished Brian would have let him walk for himself.

"You guys owe me big, I'll meet you up their in a few minutes." Nick gave in and headed towards the crowd. Brian lifted Justin and snuck off as fast as he could up the steps.

"Sorry." Justin said looking up at his carrier. "I don't want to be a burden." Justin was about to try the same arguement as before. He would convince Brian he could walk, and it would last for two minutes, before Brian would have to carry him again.

"You're not, now let me carry you in peace." Brian teased, as he continued his way up. He opened the door and went straight to their room. He noticed that the door was slightly opened, and wondered if the maid was there. "Who could be in our room at this time?" Brian found himself asking allowed as he looked at the clock on the wall, and catching the time to be 10:45 p.m.

"Just some friends." Brian was shocked by the voice, as he let Justin down and stared at the bed. "Couldn't make it to the rehearsal, but you could swim, huh?" Justin didn't look up. He didn't want to look JC or Lance in the face.

"He can't stand, why do you think he was carrying him." Nick was now standing in the door way, evening the odds against JC. "What are you doing in their room anyways?"

"Just waiting around, heard you were gonna watch a movie, thought we'd join in." Lance laughed. "We heard a lot while we were their." Lance said making it all to obvious that he and JC had been down at the pool for a small time.

"Yeah, it was sweet of you not to play that joke." JC laughed, reminding Nick and Justin of the joke they had almost committed.

"How bout you guys get out, before we call the hotel security?" Brian warned but questioned the guys at the same time.

"We just wanted to chill with you guys." Lance smirked as he stood, JC followed his actions and walked past the door.

"Later baby." JC mocked Justin as he pushed him into the wall. It wasn't a hard push, but hard enough to send Justin into fear. Nick shut the door and locked it, as Brian helped Justin up.

"It's okay, Nick go find a movie on the tv." Brian comforted Justin, and then ordered Nick what to do. Nick didn't object and walked over to the un used bed and plopped himself down. He clicked on the tv, and scanned through the channels. Finding a station with Armageddon beginning to play.

"Is Armageddon fine?" Nick looked over to Brian, Brian was on his knees in front of a slouched Justin. Justin wouldn't move from the floor.

"Yeah, whatever's good." Brian wasn't paying attention to the question, or the movie that Nick had suggested. "We'll be over in a minute." Brian said turning around to see Nick already relaxing in the second bed. He had changed before he arrived and was now wearing a pair of jeans, and a long sleeved orange shirt.

"Can you get dressed? I don't want you to freeze in that suit." Brian teased Justin.

"Yeah, could you grab me my clothes off the bed?" Justin said looking up. Brian grabbed the clothes and handed them to Justin. Justin stood and slowly made his way into the bathroom.

"Is he going to be okay?" Nick looked at his long time friend for an answer. Brian sat down in the bed he and Justin slept in.

"He'll be fine, just shaken up a bit. He'll probably end up fallin asleep as soon as the movie starts." Brian told Nick, as he heard the door open. Justin emerged from the bathroom in a pair of cargo pants. He was wearing a thick sweater. "Come sit down." Brian patted the seat next to him on the bed.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." Justin teased as he walked over. He sat down, and pulled the covers over himself. He was freezing. He wrapped his arms around Brian and tried to doze off.

"Hey, if I fall asleep here, do you mind?" Brian was thrown out of his stares. He had been staring at Justin for a good 5 minutes when he heard Nick's voice bring him back to reality.

"No, go ahead, Justin's already asleep, and I will be too. You can stay in the bed and leave in the morning." Brian said fixing the covers so they now came up over him.

"Thanks. I wanna catch the ending, but I don't feel like walking back to my room." Nick laughed. Brian looked at the clock, it was now 1 in the morning. The movie was coming to an end, and so was the day. Justin was cuddled close to Brian. And Nick was dozing off in his own bed. Brian found himself smiling. His boyfriend and his best friend were asleep, both cute and angelic. Brian looked around the room and then up towards the ceiling.

"Thank you. Thank you for this." Brian spoke softly to himself as he sank down into a laying position. He adjusted himself to Justin, and dozed off.

God was looking out for Brian. He had given him all the things a man could want. A great relationship, great friends, and a great life. God had spared Brian one thing, the happiness of his lover. Brian was content in his life, but not in Justin's. His sleep brought wishes of hope for Justin. Brian slept peacefully on the outside, but on the inside, his turmoils grew, as he knew that confrantation with JC would be inevitable.

THE END

What did you guys think? It's only the second installment, and I think it is doing pretty good.

I still get e-mails about the sex, but don't worry it will come. You have to give it time. I will tell you that their will be another couple soon. Two of the guys are going to realize their true sides and come out. It won't be who you expect though.

Next: Chapter 3: Loneliness Unmasked 5 6


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