Living Years

Disclaimer: The following story contains activity that would be considered of homosexual nature between consenting college students. While none of it crosses into a gratuitous nature, if such material is offensive to you or you are not of the legal age to read such material in your area, please do not. Other than that, please enjoy the story!

The Living Years

Chapter 17 "To Test the World"

He couldn't help being horny. He was after all an 18 year old college freshman. Beyond that, he was also a guy. Guys were always horny. And when you'd never had a girlfriend, barely had a boyfriend, only had sex once, and didn't get anything beyond a kiss on the cheek from your two female best friends, you build up a lot of sexual tension.

It all had to go somewhere.

Trey had gotten one of, or rather his only Christmas present before he came back to school. His mother had managed to put aside a secret fund he didn't know about and saved up enough money to buy him a much needed laptop. Trey did most of, if not all of his work in the library. Having the new wireless laptop had been perfect for him so far. Zoey had showed him all the ins and outs of laptop computers and had even helped set up a wireless network account for him to access anywhere on campus.

Needless to say, Trey loved having a laptop. All the porn in the world was literally at his fingertips now. The trouble was, he didn't really know where to start.

He'd never really thought about porn before. Whenever he jacked off it was usually to thoughts of some really gorgeous guy on campus or some hot celebrity. Never porn. And now that it was a reality and he was horny, he wanted it, and he wanted it badly.

He had class, but he was horny. Shawn was actually sleeping for a change. He confirmed it when he looked over at him and saw him sprawled all over his bed, covers halfway off his body. Shawn was only wearing a pair of loose Spongebob Squarepants boxers, which, Trey could only halfway see clearly. It was actually a little dark in the room being only six thirty in the morning and all.

It was quiet. Being the beginning of December, less and less people actually went to class if they had an early morning class, he noticed. At least, they didn't go as regularly. He'd since realized that since next to none of the professors actually took any actual roll or accounts of who was there and who wasn't, there really was no real reason to go to class everyday. Especially since all of the professors he had posted the notes to the lectures online. He of course did go to class everyday. He knew it was the only way that he personally could maintain his obvious 4.0 GPA

And since he was going to class and needed to be gone by 7:30, he knew he had to be quick.

He slowly and quietly peeled the covers off of him, grabbed his still-on laptop from the desk-counter next to him and made his way quietly into the bathroom.

He couldn't lock the door. The doors to the bathroom looked from the outside, something he'd always found odd and slightly amusing. Anyone could get trapped in a bathroom in Ark hall and probably did all the time under the right circumstances.

Still though, he was horny and he knew Shawn was asleep and figured his suitemates would be too.

The first things he did was pull the small trashcan on the side of the toilet in front of the toilet. Then he set his laptop on top of it and sat on the top of the toilet. For some reason he didn't have to pee like he always did in the morning. Probably because he was so horny, he figured.

He sat for a few moments wondering what site he should try. Since he'd long since come to the conclusion that he was gay, he'd obviously need a site with guy on guy action.

He placed a few terms into the search engine and nearly two million different listings showed up. He wasn't sure what to try first or even what was relevant. Finally deciding on a site, he clicked through a few pages before he found any sort of porn related material.

He stood up, pulled down his boxers and sat back down again. He wasn't really sure how to start. They were just pictures of hot guys doing hot things to each other. But that's all they were. Pictures. He felt like he was horny enough to want more. Video.

He navigated through a few more pages before one popped up entirely on its own displaying a video with full sound. That wasn't the problem, it's coming up on its own. The problem was that for some reason, Trey had forgotten to make sure that the sound was turned down. It had actually been turned as loud as it could go, and apparently the guys in the video were trying to scream in pleasure as loud as they could.

"Oh shit!" Trey exclaimed jumping up.

He'd knocked over his laptop but fortunately the plush floor mats his mother had insisted on setting down the day she helped him unpack his room had broken the fall and prevented any damage.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god," Try mumbled, panicking as he reached down to pick up his laptop. Not thinking clearly, he started trying to click out of the video rather than manually turn the sound down.

"Shit!" he mumbled, before stumbling backwards and onto the floor, pushing the top of the lotion he'd brought in with him. It got all over his hands as he tried to stand up.

"Damn," he cursed again as he started tying to pull up his pants.

"Dude, are you alright in there?" he could hear one of his suitemates calling.

This time Trey actually did manage to get the sound turned down and exited out of the pages completely.

"Um..."

"Trey, what the hell-" Shawn stopped when he saw the scene before him.

Trey pulled up his boxers, They weren't completely up but at least managed to hide his erection from plain view.

"Hey, I thought I heard-"

The door to the other side of the bathroom opened and both of this suitemates were standing before looking a bit surprised.

Trey looked to his left. Then to his right.

"Um, yeah, I was just-"

"Jacking off? Dude, do that in the shower so nobody hears you," one of his suitemates spoke.

It was strangely hot and disgusting at the same time for Trey to think about his suitemates doing that in the shower he used everyday.

"Dude?" one of his suitemates said, looking over at Shawn.

"Don't look at me," Shawn replied, obviously trying not to laugh. "I jack off in my room."

Which Trey could actually attest to.

"Come on Trey, playtimes over," Shawn said, pulling him out of the bathroom and at least partially away from the embarrassing situation he'd created.

Shawn turned out the light and shut the door, locking it behind him.

"Jacking off in the bathroom? That's a new one," Shawn said, walking back over to his bed while yawning.

"No I wasn't....I mean....this is lotion!" Trey replied, wiping his hands on a towel draped over his desk chair.

"Smells like it too," Shawn replied.

"No, ugh," Trey grumbled. He knew there wasn't really a way out of his situation. It was obvious what he was attempting to do in the bathroom.

"What, Noah not hitting it right in the sack? Shawn asked.

Trey could tell Shawn was partially joking but it was still a bit a touchy subject for him.

"Actually we don't really talk. He's.....wait, you're talking to me?" Trey asked.

Shawn stared at him as he sat up in bed.

"What we can't talk?" Shawn asked.

"No I just thought..."

It had been a while since they'd had a conversation that didn't escalate into an argument. Granted Trey wished it could have been under better circumstances but at least it was a much needed step in the right direction.

"Seriously though, you really should do that in the shower," Shawn chuckled laying back down.

"Gee thanks," Trey replied, managing a grin.

Things grew quiet for a few seconds as Trey just stood up by his bed, wearing nothing but his boxers.

"I can still see your hard on," Shawn said in a sing song voice.

Trey immediately sat down to which Shawn chuckled.

"So you're in good mood," Jeremy spoke without even having to look at Noah as Noah looked himself over in the mirror.

"What? I can't be in a good mood?" Noah asked.

"You've been like Kurt Cobain off drugs lately. Moody and missing the good stuff, whatever that drug substitute for you happens to be. It's not that Trey guy is it?"

"No, today's just a good day for me. I can feel it."

Truthfully, Noah wasn't really sure why he felt that way. All he knew was that he woke up feeling extremely happy and that he felt like good things were coming his way. Although, he couldn't possibly begin to guess what sort of good things. He'd managed to patch things up with Grace and Zoey and was on regular speaking terms with them but things with Trey were the same as ever. He just wasn't really sure how to get past that part in their relationship and his not knowing how to deal with it left them both stuck.

"Well I wish I had your enthusiasm about this shitty day," Jeremy spoke, actually sounding a little depressed all the while clicking away at some monster on his game.

"Why? What's wrong? And please don't tell me it has anything to do with that completely not real and not relevant computer game of yours."

"Oh, well in that case maybe we should just focus on you."

"God, you know," Noah started before he rushed over to the blinds in their room and opened them to which Jeremy hissed like he was a vampire or something. "One of these days I'm gonna steal your key and lock you out of the room so you get out for a change."

"Oh I get out plenty, mostly when the internet connection is down or I need junk food replenishing. Those guys down at the 7Eleven say I'm their best customer."

"Well, you do look the part," Noah teased.

"Careful, freshman. I've been known to eat people alive when I get hungry enough."

"Would the cannibalism come before or after you get to level 75 on that game?"

"You know how long it takes me to grow a level when it's not a double experience day? Thank god for gold farming."

"Okay, I'm not even gonna pretend like I care what that is."

Noah walked back over the mirror giving himself another once over. His hair was perfect. His clothes were perfect. The day would be perfect.

Then there was a knock at the door to which Noah all but skipped over to in order to open it.

"If that's my professor from economics you can tell him he can kiss my ass, I dropped that sorry class," Jeremy called out behind him.

"Um, okay," Noah spoke bemused before opening the door to find Zoey standing at it somewhat in the shadow of the door with a clipboard in her hand and a medium sized black bag hanging around her left hip.

"Quick, name two things that scare you," was her greeting as she practically invaded the area near his face.

"Ah, god, you without makeup and some toothpaste! What's wrong with you, Zoey?" Noah asked.

"I was gonna put it on on the way. You can just give me some gum for the breath though," Zoey replied.

Behind him Noah could hear Jeremy getting up and joining the two of them at the door.

"Hey my favorite and only girl I know with a Z in her name," he spoke.

"Could you be any more transparent?" Zoey asked.

"Zoey!" Noah exclaimed.

"I got like no sleep last night," Zoey replied.

"We know," Jeremy and Noah both replied in unison.

"I was working on the questions for my video diary. I want mine to be interesting unlike all the other crappy examples we had to sit through. Um...one or both of you needs a shower."

"YOU need a shower," Noah replied.

Zoey took a whiff of herself.

"Oh, so I do," she said. "Here, take this."

Zoey handed Noah the clipboard from her hands to which Jeremy quickly swiped from him as well as the black bag.

"I'm gonna go turn into a female really quick and then you can walk me to class," Zoey said, starting down the hall.

"What about breakfast?" Noah asked.

"Really quick was just a placeholder statement. When I get finished, there won't be time."

And with that she dipped into her room and was gone.

Noah stood not really knowing what to make of the situation that just occurred.

"She's so hot," Jeremy said. "Do you think you could hook us up?"

"Depends," Noah replied, still looking down the hall towards Zoey's room. "Can you stand crazy?"

Jesse had been trying all sorts of things to get his brother to leave. He hadn't really expected him to actually come back after the break but since he had, he once again wanted him gone. Nothing he did seemed to be working, however.

At the very least he'd been trying to find ways to leave before or after his brother was ready to go to class so that he wouldn't have to go with him and could avoid him entirely. That plan too hadn't really seemed to work so far either. Jesse knew his brother wasn't smarter than him but he certainly was a lot cleverer than he gave him credit for.

Case in point happened to be the fact that he seemed to be all showered and dressed, sitting at the couch in the living room reading the school paper.

"Well good morning little brother," were the first words out of Nick's mouth as Jesse moved into the kitchen.

"What's so good about it?" Jesse mumbled, placing a bagel into his toaster oven.

Nick decided to ignore the comment as he continued reading.

"Apparently this school has a halfway decent football team," he said looking over the paper. "I still don't quite get why the American's call a sport you throw a ball around in football but they do a lot of weird things I don't understand."

"I just got a brilliant idea," Jesse started sounding mock excited. "How about, you go back to London!"

Nick set his paper down and turned around to look at Jesse.

"Nice try little brother but I'm afraid you're going to have to just get used to me being here," he said. "I like it here actually. The women are much cleaner, prettier. They put out."

"Oh god, is that all you care about?"

"Why of course it isn't. I do have an interest in my studies, you know."

"You're not even a student here. You just follow me around to my classes pretending like you're supposed to be there."

"Who say's I'm not supposed to be there? I have every right to an education."

"Not one you don't pay for," Jesse sighed as his bagel finished in the toaster.

He turned around to start preparing it but could hear his brother standing up behind him.

"What do we have first little brother? Advanced calculus, yes?"

Jesse inwardly groaned as he realized that he could quite possibly never be able to get rid of his brother. At least not in a way that wouldn't involve killing him.

But he did know, however, at the very least he could make him feel completely unwelcome and point it out every chance he got.

"So," Jesse started, turning to face his brother as he stirred his coffee. "You love it here yet you have no real friends, no real purpose for being here other than to annoy me, and no real girlfriend. I'd imagine you get quite lonely."

"Careful Jesse," Nick started as he put on his winter coat. "One could argue the same points apply to you."

Jesse rolled his eyes as he exited the kitchen and stood near the bar just outside of it.

"Still though, one can't help but wonder what bare minimum you've found to hold onto."

Nick stared at his brother for a few seconds before smiling and starting towards the door.

"You're absolutely right," he replied.

And that was all he said as he started out the door, Jesse behind him feeling like he had actually been able to get his brother to see he needed to leave.

"What is she doing?" Grace asked sounding like she was talking about the craziest person on Earth.

She and Trey were in the Ark hall cafeteria eating lunch, their norm for each day, watching Zoey randomly assault people with her video camera asking all sorts of questions. To Trey, she seemed to actually be a bit on the crazy side. She looked like she'd been running around all day asking people her questions and hadn't stopped to take any breaks. She sounded like she was losing it.

"Isn't she an art major?" Grace asked. "What does....THAT, have to do with....?"

Trey just shrugged. Zoey hadn't asked them anything yet. He had a feeling she was going to though.

Trey had started to relax more at school. He'd decided at Thanksgiving that he wasn't going to give up when it came to Noah and Shawn and that had actually been the best thing for him emotionally as he no longer felt down about his situation. He was giving them as much time as they needed, even if it took all year. They meant that much to him that he was willing to wait.

Shawn would talk to him off and on but he still wouldn't eat lunch with them. So he was actually surprised when he noticed Shawn bypassing Zoey who seemed to be attacking one of his friends as he took a seat next to Trey.

"So I just got asked what my two favorite sexual positions are," he started. "Is she like on her cycle or something?"

"Hey white boy, leave that mess alone," Grace joked tossing a fry at Shawn. "I don't even get that crazy on mine. That's all her."

Everyone looked over at Zoey who was refusing to let whoever she was talking with leave until she got them to answer her questions.

"You think maybe this is like one of those movies where aliens come and make clones of people?" Trey asked.

"Ooh, I'd want a Denzel clone. That boy is FINE!" Grace said excitedly.

Shawn sighed still staring at Zoey.

"No, I think this is just a really bad nightmare."

Everyone stared at Zoey as she cursed at some girls who laughed at her as they passed before pulling a fat guy out of line and pointing her video camera at him.

Trey also noticed Noah entering the cafeteria with a couple of people he didn't know and watched as all three of them walked towards the table they normally sat at whenever they were eating in the dorm hall.

Shawn noticed as well as Grace.

"I guess he's still not talking to you huh?" Shawn asked.

"You weren't talking to me either until this morning," Trey replied.

"Oh yeah, speaking of this morning, guess who likes a little early morning bathroom porn now, Grace," Shawn spoke.

"I don't wanna know," Grace replied.

"You think I should tell Noah about it. Just to see what his reaction would be?"

"Please don't," Trey objected realizing that Shawn wasn't really being serious.

Trey had to tell himself to remain calm when he noticed Noah look over at him briefly before Zoey made her way over to him and his friends with her crazy tirade.

"Oh god, she's talking to Noah," Grace spoke. "Maybe I should go find my old dog leash and put it on her. The girl needs one today."

"What's she doing anyway?" Shawn asked.

"Some kind of video diary for one of her classes," Grace replied. "I'm afraid of what her ass is gonna ask me."

"Me too," Shawn and Trey replied simultaneously.

They all know Zoey well enough to know that she was far from shy. She'd ask anyone anything including the people that were supposed to be her best friends.

"Come on, let's sneak out of here before she gets back to us," Grace said, actually preparing to get up.

Trey wanted to but couldn't seem to take his eyes away from watching Noah. He didn't really see him that often and cherished the few times that he did get to see him.

"Sorry but I can't," Shawn said, standing up. "I left some friends back at our table."

"Oh," Trey said, sounding partially hurt.

He had assumed that Shawn actually wanted to be there and wasn't just there to ask about Zoey.

"We're your friends dumb ass," Grace spoke up, no doubt to help keep Shawn around for Trey.

Shawn grinned at her and tossed one of Trey's fries at her.

"Spotted a clone," was all he said before he made his way back to the other side of the cafeteria where he came from.

Trey watched him go, trying to keep from feeling sad before turning back around in his chair.

"Is it just me or does today feel like some really warped reality bullshit?" Grace asked.

Trey was actually starting to feel the same way. He didn't really have time to dwell on any of his thoughts before he noticed Jesse's brother headed towards them with that Amber girl from elevator and party.

"Hello all," Nick greeted them before looking over and seeing Zoey standing on top of one of the dining tables pointing her camera down at someone. "Well then, isn't that odd."

"Hi Nick," Grace spoke, fixing her already neatly made hair as he took a seat across from her and next to Tray. Amber sat on the other side of the table next to Grace.

"Girl get up before I snatch that hair out your head," Grace said once she realized Amber was there.

"Can't we all just get along?" Nick asked grinning.

"God I hate this place," Amber started. "I almost got stuck in one of the elevators again."

"Well generally when people leave a McDonald's bag on a lift it's probably empty," Nick said, indicating that she'd actually fallen for the `free food' trick Trey had heard about.

Amber looked over at Grace and frowned as Grace looked at her as if she was really debating whether or not to pull out her hair.

"My brother isn't here with you somewhere is he?" Nick asked, looking around.

"Who? Jesse? Why would he be here with us?" Trey asked.

"Well aren't all of you friends?" Nick asked.

Grace and Trey exchanged glances. Occasionally eating lunch with someone who you just happened to know was a far cry from being friends. But they decided not to reply on the matter.

Trey sat with his thoughts as he looked over at Noah. His heart actually skipped a beat when Noah met his eyes. At that moment he could practically tell everything Noah was thinking just from looking into his eyes. That was new for him as lately he hadn't been able to get a good read on Noah.

He knew there was a lot that had gone unspoken between them and he wanted more than anything to say those things to Noah. But he realized now that it was up to Noah if that ever happened.

Trey had been so consumed with his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed when Zoey finally made her way back over to them all and stood at the head of the table looking preoccupied and agitated.

"I just realized I don't know the first thing about editing," she said.

"Oh so you're done then?" Grace asked.

"Done with what?" Nick asked.

"I'm doing a video diary for human psychology. I'm trying to show the differences between peoples thoughts and peoples wants just by asking them simple questions," Zoey replied.

"You asked one of the cafeteria ladies if she'd ever thought about killing someone before," Grace spoke up, leaning back in her chair.

"To answer your question," Zoey decided to ignore Grace. "No I'm not done. I haven't even asked you guys anything yet."

"Would you look at that...I just remembered I got somewhere I gotta be," Trey started looking down at his watch.

"Where? A meeting with your right hand in the bathroom?" Grace teased.

Trey frowned at Grace as he tried to keep from looking as embarrassed as he felt.

All of a sudden, however, there was a camera pointing no less than three inches from his face, Zoey on the other end of it.

"Tell me Trey, what two things do you want the most right now?" she asked.

Trey looked around at everyone at the table who seemed to be interested in hearing what his response would be. Trey felt completely put on the spot. He knew what he wanted to say. It was the fact that his answers would be taped that was holding him back.

"I can name two people he probably wants right now," Grace spoke up.

Trey looked over at her, semi panicked and semi confused. He didn't know why he was feeling either way. He just knew he needed to calm himself so he could think clearly.

"Maybe you should give the poor bloke a break," Nick suddenly chimed in. "He's obviously got a lot on his mind."

"I'm sorry, are you the one with the tight deadline or is that just me?" Zoey asked, still completely agitated.

"Ooh, I'm next! I'm next!" Amber said excitedly, clapping her hands in rhythm.

Zoey looked over at Amber before rolling her eyes and turning her attention to Grace.

"Grace," she started.

"Yes cornbread?"

"Name...what?"

"Ask the damn question girl!"

"Alright. Name two places you wanna go on vacation to."

Grace looked up at the ceiling as if to be in deep thought.

Trey chuckled as he watched her while Nick and Zoey watched intently.

"Denzel and Usher's houses," Grace replied.

"Grace!" Zoey exclaimed.

"What, those are places," Grace replied innocently.

"No, no, I think she meant continents," Amber suddenly spoke, interrupting the would be argument between Zoey and Grace.

Grace moved back a little in her chair, turning side ways as she studied Amber.

"Girl, you is dumber than my shoe, ain't you?"

"I may be a white girl, but I can totally kick your ass," Amber retorted.

"Is that so-"

"Ladies, fighting is never attractive on a woman," Nick interjected.

And because it had been Nick to say it, both girls, who were obviously interested in him decided to drop the argument before it went any further.

"Okay Nick," Zoey started, pointing the camera at him.

"Yes beautiful?"

"Name two physical things that appeal to you."

"Well," Nick started as he leaned forward.

Trey watched as Nick took both Amber and Grace's hands into his and stared at them with a slight cocky grin.

"I'd have to say a nice set of lips and a killer tan," he replied, near seductively.

Trey could tell both girls were just melting on the spot staring at him from the goofy little grins they had on their faces.

"Glasses turn me on too, love," Nick added, looking in Zoey's direction.

Zoey sighed angrily as she stopped the camera and glared at Nick.

"I said TWO things. You're being a total joke and SHIT this thing is out of film. I'm gonna have to do that part over again."

"Why don't you just edit the last part out?" Trey asked.

"I think I will," Zoey sighed before storming off.

"Okay, that girl is a trip," Grace chuckled along with Nick and Trey.

Grace, who was about to ask Nick if he was seeing anyone cursed under her breath when she felt her cell phone vibrating in her pocket.

"Hello?!?" she asked, sounding more than a little agitated before realizing it was a call she needed to hear and got up to go keep talking. "Why you gotta be so ghetto mama?! Damn!"

Those were the last words Trey could hear her saying before she had left the cafeteria to continue the conversation.

"Well, I'm gonna go see what kind of desert they have here," Amber announced before standing up and leaving as well, leaving Trey with Nick.

Trey felt a bit strange to be alone with Nick. Although he wasn't exactly `alone.' There was a cafeteria semi-full of people all around him. But since learning to come out of his shell, he'd really only learned how to be more outgoing with his friends. He still hadn't quite learned how to deal with anyone he didn't actually know.

"Wonderful girls they are. Especially that totty Amber," Nick started, making Trey feel a little better than some kind of conversation had been started and he hadn't had to be the one to start it.

"So are you two...?"

"Well, I suppose. It's a rather new development. My brother seems to think I can't be happy here so I said, why not, you know?"

"I guess," Trey replied, still not feeling completely comfortable.

"So what happened to the other blokes?"

"Excuse me?"

"Your mates? Pals? I forget their names, I'm bad with them you know."

"Shawn and Noah-"

"That's right. Where are they?"

"Well," Trey started. "Noah's over there."

Nick looked over to where Trey had nodded towards before looking back over at Trey.

"Well that's dodgy isn't it? What kind of mate does that make him?"

"We kinda dated and then-"

"No way, you? A right queer then? Amazing?"

Trey wasn't sure how to take that statement. He was sure the confusion was evident on his face. Nick seemed to actually be amazed with the entire idea.

"I'm sorry, go on," Nick spoke when he finally decided to calm himself.

Trey stared at Nick semi confused for a few more seconds before deciding to continue.

"Well I screwed things up, he broke up with me and now he's not talking to me."

"I see," Nick said looking very serious. "And what's all that got to do with the other bloke then?"

"Shawn?"

"Right, right."

"I slept with him-"

"Interesting....sorry. What else?'

"Nothing. I slept with Shawn and that's why Noah broke up with me."

Nick seemed to be processing and analyzing all the information that had just been relayed to him at that very moment.

"Well I do know a thing or two about maintaining a successful relationship," he started after a few seconds. "In London, women fall easy to my charm. And I'm not joshing you here. I'm being completely up front with you."

For some reason, Trey could actually tell that he was. That was probably what he saw and identified in him when he decided to tell him his personal business. Nick may have been Jesse's brother but it certainly didn't seem like it to him.

"But every now and then you come across a right stroppy lass and you have to know how to properly deal with other people's feelings before you get eaten alive. Is this making any sense to you, mate?"

Trey nodded in understanding even though on barely understood that last statement.

"You can't just tell someone you're sorry and expect it to mean anything. You have to show them. Every time this works, I guarantee you."

Trey actually understood that part and realized that it completely applied to him. He had only told Noah how sorry he was. He had done the same thing with Shawn. He hadn't really made any attempts to show them he was sorry. He was hoping time would help them each to get over things and hopefully forgive him. Thinking about it now, it sounded really pathetic.

"You know what Tommy?" Nick started.

"It's Trey, man," he clarified.

"Trey. I've decided I like you. You're going to be my first official friend here. I'm going to need them if I intend to stay and best my brother. He can be a bit of a nutcase you know."

"Oh believe me, I know," Trey chuckled.

Trey felt so much better now that he knew that he could make things right faster by showing Shawn and Noah how sorry he was about everything. About stringing each of them along, just like they each accused him of doing. About sleeping with Shawn and taking advantage of a weak moment. About everything.

And Nick wasn't so bad either. He wouldn't mind being friends with him if he was going to be sticking around.

A moment later Amber made her way back to the table with three wrapped fudge bars, handing one each to Nick and Trey.

"Ah, cheers love," Nick said holding up the bar after he received it.

"Yeah, thanks," Trey replied.

"Fudge is the same thing as chocolate right? I didn't really know but its brown so..."

Nick and Trey exchanged glances looking to each other for help in maintaining their composure before Grace too arrived back at the table.

"My mama is such a black person," Grace spoke sounding only halfway serious with the comment.

"You look black to me," Amber spoke.

"Bitch, why do you even open your mouth?" Grace asked sounding more annoyed than upset before realizing everyone was eating a fudge bar and deciding she wanted one. "Ain't ya'll forgetting somebody? Damn Trey, are we friends are what?"

Trey just smiled at her being cranky.

Shawn wanted to stay with Trey earlier at lunch but the truth was he knew he wouldn't really be much company. He had too much on his mind. And it had nothing to do with him.

Thanksgiving had been next to unbearable for him. He was constantly expecting to have his world come crashing down around him because Ben would have told his entire family and everyone he knew about him being gay. He couldn't relax because of it.

And then Thanksgiving dinner had only been worse. If anything it had only confirmed to him that his father was the last person on Earth he'd ever want to know he was gay.

But that was almost a week ago. He'd been back at school with Ben and still couldn't shake the feeling that at any moment, his world would end with Ben telling everyone about him and Trey. Or what happened between him and Trey rather.

It was actually starting to keep him up at night. It was the reason why he couldn't do the things he normally did at night. Watching movies or IMing people on his computer. And now it was starting to affect his studies.

He wasn't exactly the brightest kid. He made good enough grades he figured but when he had people like that dumb Amber girl from his History class actually making better grades on a pop quiz than him, he knew he had to do something about his problems.

He knew he had to talk to Ben.

He used to know his schedule. He used to know when to expect that he'd be in and wouldn't. He knew because he was normally with Ben everywhere he went. And now as he found himself knocking on the outside of his dorm room door he wished that the whole thing wouldn't be a waste of time because he wasn't even in.

He knocked three times before he decided to leave and try again another time before he heard the door opening. When he made his way back over to it so that he was standing face to face with Ben he could tell he didn't want to see him from the look on his face and the comment that came next.

"What do you want?"

"Can we talk?"

"You wanna talk some more about you and your gay roommate fucking each other? I'll pass."

Ben tried shutting the door on him but Shawn stopped it and pushed it open as Ben sighed and walked back over to his bed.

He could tell that he must have been sleeping because his lights weren't on and his computer was off. That and he was in nothing but a plain white tank top and some boxers.

Ben yawned as he sat back against the wall behind his bed, staring over at Shawn.

"I thought we already went over this? What exactly do you think we have left to talk about?"

Shawn was sitting on the other side of the room atop Ben's roommate's bed, hands crossed as they sat atop his knees leaning forward.

"I gotta know," he started. "Did you tell anyone?"

"What?" Ben asked.

Shawn just stared at him.

"Okay, so you tell everyone at a party you slept with your roommate and now suddenly it's supposed to be a secret. What the fuck are you doing here man?"

"You know me. You know my parents. We're practically brothers-"

"Were."

Shawn had to take a moment to focus himself after that. He wasn't aware things were this bad between them.

"Look, it's not a secret okay. It's not supposed to be. What happened was a one time deal and-"

"Yeah right Shawn. Guys don't fucking FUCK other guys. Or wait, did he fuck you? I don't wanna know-"

"Ben-"

"What?! What Shawn?"

Shawn let out a deep breath.

"Can we fix things?"

Ben stared back at him.

"I just don't want to go through the next four years of my life with you being mad at me and not knowing whether or not you're mad enough to tell my parents about the ONE TIME I slept with another guy."

"I'm not here to screw you over Noah," Ben replied. "I'm in college too remember? I have a life of my own."

"I know that-"

"So then just go away. Maybe I did tell somebody about your little...whatever you wanna call it, maybe I didn't. Maybe I will tell somebody, maybe I won't. Point is, I got a life to live first. That shit is so far away from what's important to me right now."

"So I'm not important to you anymore?"

"I don't know Shawn. Why can't you just leave me alone? Give me some time to deal?"

Shawn stared at his best friend. He thought that was what he'd been doing. After all, he'd slept with Trey nearly two months ago and Ben had found out about it over a month ago. How much time did he need exactly?

But he didn't want to push things. He'd come to Ben wanting him to keep quiet about him. But he'd forgotten to remember their friendship was first. He had to think about doing whatever it was going to take to salvage it.

"Alright," Shawn said simply, standing up. "Alright."

Ben didn't move or say anything even as Shawn made his way to the door hoping he would. At least he knew now that Ben didn't totally want him out of his life.

Shawn was about to open the door but had to actually step away from it when he found it opening for him.

"Shawnny! Wait, it's dark," Spence spoke, flipping on the lights in the room to which Ben moaned, shielding his eyes.

"Ah, Spence! Fucking asshole!" Ben shouted throwing a pillow at Spence to which dodged.

"Gotta do better than that my man, seriously," he said. "Oh wait, Shawnny you're leaving man? For reals for real?"

"For reals, Spence," Shawn replied, bypassing Spence.

"Well at least make an appointment next time so I can be around," Spence spoke.

Shawn just chuckled as he started walking away from the room backwards.

"Your ass wasn't touching my bed was it?" Shawn could hear Spence saying as he turned a corner.

"Tell me something older brother who I despise most in the world," Jesse started upon entering his apartment after an hour long jog. "Why have you brought this loathsome, grotesque demoness into my place of residence?"

"You're not as smart as you think you are Jesse Yorkshire," Amber hissed. "I know you're talking about me."

"Well I see you've finally managed to buy yourself a clue," Jesse spoke moving past Amber and over to his brother. "This is your idea of dating? Trading down?"

"You're so angry Jesse. Here, have a sandwich. The chef just left," Nick spoke, licking his fingers as he munched over his own sandwich.

Jesse threw a towel over his shoulder as he looked from Amber to his brother.

"This is like my own personal version of hell freezing over. Karma should be treating me MUCH better than this."

"Have a seat and eat," Nick spoke casually, deciding not to get too heavily involved in another one of his younger brother

Jesse wanted to spout of in anger but this was another one of those times where he was just so frustrated he couldn't really say anything at all.

"Does your satellite work here?" Amber asked mouth half full of sandwich as she turned on the television. "Ours is out at the house."

"Go watch tv somewhere else freeloader!" Jesse exclaimed.

"Seriously Jesse, how do expect jogging to be any good for you if you constantly push the edge of high blood pressure so soon after?" Nick asked, still enjoying his sandwich, not even looking at his brother as he talked.

Things weren't going exactly as Jesse had hoped. He'd wanted to depress his brother into going home and staying there not motivate him into picking up the first piece of garbage he found and bringing it back to his place. For every second Jesse thought he could actually stand Amber came another of her opening her mouth and making him second guess himself.

It was going to take a lot for him to develop those feelings for him she wanted him to have for her. He was still curious as to why exactly Amber was here and not Sierra. He had thought his brother and her were an item. Why did he have to go bother Amber?

"So," Jesse started, deciding to calm down for the time being. "Let me guess. You heard a knock at the door, Amber was at it, told you she was so bad with directions she forgot the way to her own sorority house and you offered her food thinking her to be a poor misguided homeless person?"

"Actually, knows absolutely nothing about what he's talking about," Amber started. "Nick and I are dating now."

Jesse's eyes nearly rolled right out of his head.

"What?" he asked, trying to keep from sounding too upset. "Since when? Today? In the few 8 hours any of us have even been awake?"

"It all just kinda happened, you know?" Nick replied, mouth full of food as he did. "You're happy for me, yes?"

"No. And you can keep that sodding sandwich of yours and piss off!" Jesse replied.

"Well, at least I have friends," Nick replied, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"Yes I believe I'm looking at your definition of a friend," Jesse replied. "How unfortunate for you."

"Can the both of you like shut up now? The Real World is on," Amber spoke.

As Jesse sat, fuming and thinking about his current predicament, he couldn't help but think about how he would have preferred for his brother to actually be with Sierra. He couldn't stand her either but at least he hadn't once lived with her. At least he didn't have a history with her.

At least she wasn't Amber.

All he knew was that he had to stop things between them. Amber wasn't right for his brother. His brother wasn't right for anyone. The way he saw it, he'd be doing both of them a favor.

They'd thank him for that.

"Two names I go by? Well my friends call me Twink but sometimes, I let them call me Freak Nasty..."

Trey, Zoey and Grace were all in Zoey's room. Grace was lying stretched out on Zoey's bed doing an assignment for her Philosophy class while Trey was sitting on the floor beneath her facing Zoey who was sitting at her desk playing the tapes from her video diary.

"Freak Nasty, girl? Who is that?" Grace asked.

Zoey started fast forwarding the tape.

"I don't know half these people but he probably would've answered some weird way to any question," Zoey replied.

Trey flipped to another page in his magazine.

He was only barely reading it as he had a lot on his mind. He couldn't stop thinking about how he was going to show Noah and Shawn how sorry he was and how much he needed their friendship. He knew it was probably too late for him to ever have relationships with them, he'd screwed things up too badly. But at the very least he knew that being friends with them was important to him and he wanted to find a way to show it to them.

He just was a little low on ideas.

"Oh yeah, this was the girl with twin sister who kept saying the exact opposite of what her sister told me," Zoey spoke, looking over another tape. "I swear, people at this school act like children. Oh, now look somebody's on top of a cafeteria table...wait, is that me?"

"Yes girl. You had us wondering if we needed to go the clinic to get some Ritalin for yo ass," Grace replied, circling something in her textbook.

"I don't know, it kinda reminded me of-"

"Don't finish that statement," Zoey interrupted Trey before realizing something. "Dammit, I need the paperwork I have to fill out for this thing."

"When's it due?" Trey asked.

"Tommorow-ish," Zoey replied.

"What? Girl!" Grace exclaimed

"I told you I was on a tight deadline and NOW I need to go track down my professor or his perverted little T.A. so I can get those papers," Zoey spoke all while standing up. "You guys stay here. I'll be back in like 20."

"Well call if your boyfriend stops by," Grace said.

"Alright. Wish me luck" Zoey replied, leaving.

"I still haven't seen her boyfriend. Have you?" Trey said after Zoey was gone.

Grace stopped highlighting and looked down at Trey.

"No," she admitted after realizing the same thing.

"What's his name?" Trey asked.

"I think it's Ryan something. I think it starts with an R."

Both Trey and Grace giggled upon realizing they still knew nothing about Zoey's mysterious boyfriend.

After a few moments Grace went back to her work while Trey stood up and walked over to all of Zoey's video diary stuff.

He looked over all her many tapes, watching the current one in the camera before it ended.

"There's still film on this one," Trey said aloud, looking the camera over.

He'd never even held a video camera let alone seen one in real life. He hadn't the slightest idea how they were even supposed to work. He pressed a few buttons before setting the camera down after he noticed Zoey's list of questions for the project.

There were dozens of questions marked off a list all asking people to reveal two things about something.

"Why two?" Trey found himself asking aloud.

"What?" Grace asked.

"All these questions ask for two things," Trey said, looking down at the list.

"Lemme see," Grace said sitting up.

Trey walked over to the bed and sat beside Grace as they both looked over the list.

"She didn't even do some of em," Grace said.

Trey noticed that as well. Like number 45.

"Name two things you look for in a relationship," Grace asked.

He knew she wasn't really asking him but he decided to respond anyway.

"Well I think trust is important. I mean, you don't wanna be with someone you can't trust right? Breaking a person's trust sucks cuz it's really hard to get it back. And you know I know what I'm talking about."

"You and Noah?"

"And Shawn. I mean, I know I'm in the same situation, but I wish they knew how serious I am about this. The only way to know if you can trust someone after they break your trust IS to trust them. At least to see if they'll do it again. Then you'd know for sure whether or not you can trust them."

"Uh oh, looking at you gettin all deep and shit," Grace teased. "What's the other thing?"

Trey shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess....I guess Faith. Faith in the person you love having faith in you. Faith that you'll be able to get over the worst problems. Trust does take faith you know?"

"I think I heard that somewhere," Grace spoke after a few moments.

"No you haven't," Trey chuckled as he tossed Zoey's list back onto her desk.

"Yes I have, I really really have," Grace replied.

"See I know you by now, you like to play games with people," Trey said grinning at Grace.

"You're my little fools pawn Trey," Grace replied. "I try all my best stuff out on you first."

"I know," Trey replied, picking his magazine back up.

"I should have a sign. No solicitation," Jeremy said upon opening his door and seeing Shawn standing before it.

"What? I'm not trying to sell anything," he replied.

Noah had heard and recognized Shawn's voice and nearly ran to the door when he heard it. Jeremy walked back over to his computer and started back on his game making sure to do nothing important in it so he could eavesdrop.

"What do you want?" he asked, trying to keep his cool.

"That makes twice today I've heard that very greeting," Shawn replied.

"I'm closing my door now."

"No, okay, wait!"

Noah opened the door wider and stared at Shawn.

"We have a common interest you and me," Shawn started.

"Really? What?" Noah asked bemused.

"It's just, we haven't really talked about Trey and...everything. I think we should talk about it."

"I don't think I want to talk about it," Noah replied. "Especially with you."

"But I DO wanna hear it? And could you speak up while you're at it?" Jeremy spoke from his computer desk.

Noah turned around to face Jeremy.

"What?" Jeremy asked.

"I think it's time for you to go say hello to the world for today," he replied.

Jeremy sighed, annoyed before standing up and started towards the door.

"Just how many times am I gonna have to do this anyway?" Jeremy asked as he squeezed past Noah and Shawn.

"Until you find some friends that aren't 8,000 miles away," Noah replied as Jeremy started down the hall.

"Nice guy," Shawn commented.

"He's...different," Noah said before allowing Shawn to step inside after a few moments. "You should probably know that I've been in a good mood today and you just being here is already starting to make that go away."

"Then I guess I need to make my being here mean something then, huh?" Shawn asked.

"Guess so," Noah replied before shutting the door to his room.

"Oh, aw, are you two playing footsy? How cute," Jesse spoke, before smashing his brother's toes.

Nick, not wanting to look like a wimp in front of Amber, excused himself as he limped towards the bathroom.

All Jesse wanted was time alone with Amber. He had to work fast was all he knew.

"So, I bet you think you've gotten yourself a total catch huh? The complete package even?"

"I haven't even seen your brothers you know what so stop being so gross and be quiet already."

Jesse decided that he was just going to have to ignore all of Amber's inane comments if he was going to get through this.

"You know Amber, I was like you once," he started realizing that he was really stretching the truth. "I was young and naïve."

"I am NOT naïve Jesse," Amber replied. "I managed to get you tossed out on your feet didn't I?"

"Only because you sold off all of my possessions you crazy psycho bitch!" Jesse exclaimed, temporarily losing control.

He could tell he was testing Amber's patience and knew he needed to reel her back in quickly.

"Okay, okay," Nick started as he limped back into the room. "I think I'm fine."

"Oh really? Let me have a look then," Jesse said before crunching Nick's other foot.

Nick nearly fell to the ground before he gasped out for air, called for his mum, and started back towards the bathroom practically hopping as he did so. Again, Amber didn't see any of it happen.

Jesse waited until he heard the door shit before he continued.

"God I hope he's alright. We just started going out, he can't be getting sick," Amber spoke, sounding a bit worried.

"Focus Amber darling."

"No YOU focus. There is a seven hour Real World marathon on MTV and you wanna talk to me about stupid stuff during it? Do you know how many of my friends watch the Real World?"

"None of them the better for it, I'm sure," Jesse replied with distaste reminding himself that it was now him that needed to focus.

"Look Amber, what I'm trying to tell you is that if you're looking long term with my brother, I think you're just getting your hopes up," he continued. "You know he travels a lot."

"I know he told me," Amber said simply.

"He did? Really?" Jesse asked quizzically before getting back to the point. "Well what do you think he does on all those trips around the world? You think he's thinking about his girlfriend of the month when he's sitting beachside in San Tropez?"

Now it actually looked like Amber had actually started thinking about what Jesse was trying to get at.

"You should deal in stability and cut your losses before they worsen. Consider this my early Christmas gift to you. A warning of sorts."

As Jesse sat back, proud of himself and Nick came wobbling out of the bathroom, Amber looked down at the carpet going over Jesse's words in her mind.

She didn't like Jesse but Nick was his brother. He had to know him better than she did.

"Well, I see there isn't any blood on the carpet," Nick spoke as he took a seat on the couch. "You two've done well for yourselves."

Jesse just looked over at his brother smugly who looked over at Amber.

"You alright, love?" Nick asked, studying her worried expression

"Um...yeah...sure," she replied.

And that, Jesse thought, was what they called revenge.

"So you're saying that if it hadn't been me Trey slept with before you guys got together that you wouldn't be as upset?" Shawn asked.

Noah looked down at the ground. It wasn't really intentionally what he'd been trying to say but he realized that Shawn was right. He was angrier at the fact that Shawn and Trey had slept together, no that Trey had slept with someone else.

"As much as I don't like you, I wouldn't hurt Trey like that by ruining his relationship with...well, whoever. I wouldn't sleep with him if he was with someone."

Noah thought about his words as he looked over at Shawn.

"I guess you're right," he said.

"Of course I am," Shawn replied. "I'm right about everything when it's not about me. Now if I could just figure out how to fix things with my best friend."

"Huh, didn't think you had any friends," Noah spoke.

"Oh gee, that's nice," Shawn said. "After I helped you get over your issues and all."

"What issues? I don't have issues."

"Right, not anymore you don't, thanks to me. That was basically what I just said," Shawn replied. "Seriously, what Trey sees in you..."

Shawn stopped when he heard a knock at the door and a voice from the other side.

"If you're in your room don't ignore me like you did at lunch Noah. I can be a vindictive bitch when I wanna be," Zoey spoke.

Noah and Shawn exchanged glances.

"Or just a plain old bitch," Noah mumbled before opening the door not getting the chance to greet Zoey as she entered the room with her camera.

"What do...Shawn? What....what is this?" Zoey asked, suddenly feeling confused.

"Oh, yeah," Noah started. "We were just talking. About Trey."

"Right, you two decided to start being MEN and learning how to get over your problems so you can fix that poor boy's broken spirit?"

Noah and Shawn exchanged glances.

"Not quite," Noah replied.

"Well whatever, you work it out. I don't have time to deal now," Zoey replied. "I came because I wanted to know if you knew anything about video editing."

"Me? No, I write songs and play the guitar. Soccer too, if you're lucky," Noah replied.

"What about you Shawn?" Zoey asked.

"Yeah, I don't even own a camera. Not even on my cell phone," Shawn replied. "Sorry."

Zoey sighed, obviously still agitated.

She looked over at Jeremy's empty computer desk chair and nodded towards it.

"What about the geek? He's always on the computer right? If he doesn't know anything one of his geek friends probably does right?" Zoey asked.

Noah and Shawn didn't reply.

"Right!?!" Zoey exclaimed, semi panicking.

"Whoa, calm down Zoey," Noah chuckled. "We'll find you somebody."

"Yeah," Shawn replied. "I'll help. IF you let me be in the video."

"I never asked you a question?" Zoey asked, sounding a bit puzzled. "Funny. Well, let me see if I have space on the tape."

Zoey turned on the camera's VCR mode and curious, Noah and Shawn joined her at both sides to look as well.

"Wait, what's this?" she asked, realizing it was her room on film.

Shawn studied the tape.

"Is that Trey?" Shawn asked.

Noah studied as well. He could see Trey sitting on a bed next to Grace. They were talking but he couldn't hear anything.

"Where's the sound?" Noah asked.

"Here, lemme un-mute it," Zoey spoke.

Everyone could hear Grace asking Trey what two things he looked for in a relationship and him beginning to answer the question.

"They'll get into anything if you leave em alone," Zoey sighed, not really that upset with her friends.

"Can you be quiet?" Noah asked seriously.

"Yeah," Shawn replied. "I wanna hear this."

Zoey looked between Shawn and Noah before moving backwards and away from them. She wasn't sure who took the camera when she did but Noah and Shawn were standing side by side listening to Trey answer one of the most revealing questions on her list.

She couldn't see their faces but she could tell that Trey had done the trick. He'd done whatever it was that he did that could make two guys fall in love with him.

Again.

Yahoo Group featuring advanced chapters of the story and other works by me:

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Personal email: crossingboi2004@yahoo.com Feedback always welcome.

Copyright 2006