Hey kids! How's everyone doing? Hopefully you are all better then me. Don't fret. I'll be fine. A few more days locked in my room crying will make it all better. Hope you enjoy the story! And thanks to anyone and everyone who has written to me. I really appreciate it. Sorry if I haven't emailed anyone back. I've been forgetting who I have and who I haven't emailed back. So if I haven't emailed you back, chalk it up to my early Alzheimer's.
Thanks go out to my incredible editor DJ. Without him you would be seeing a lot of comma errors and verb tense problems. Thanks sweetie!
Disclaimer: All who read this who are underage or not allowed to read this will die. Granted I can't promise when or how, but you will die. Everyone dies.
Little Earthquakes
Chapter Three
Maggie watched me intently as I made dinner. She hadn't said anything to me, but I knew she was at least a little bit excited about Kevin coming over.
I had picked her and Ryan up at 3 as usual. Brenda, the woman who runs the daycare, had pulled me aside to talk. Apparently Maggie had locked herself in the bathroom for about an hour that morning. Brenda had been gently pushing me towards putting Maggie in therapy. I was resisting as much as possible.
Maggie had always been a quiet child, even before the accident. I knew that she would eventually come out of this. This was a natural reaction for a child who'd lost both her parents. At least I thought it was.
"Robby, I'm gonna feed Ryan. He's gettin' really fussy." Shannon came into the kitchen holding the baby.
"Okay. Is Gram awake?" I turned to look at Shannon for a moment. The 15 year-old was my personal savior some days. I had been a little surprised to find Shannon here when I got home, but she had explained that her mom needed to go take care of some trouble that her little brother had gotten into at school, so she'd come over to stay with Gram.
"Yeah. She's sitting in the living room looking at a photo album." Shannon pulled out a small jar of food for Ryan. "I tried to get her to eat something earlier but she didn't want to."
"Is she pretty much with it today?" I reached for a knife and began to chop up the carrots for the salad.
Shannon nodded. "Mom said that the two of them spent the day cleaning the house and doing laundry. It was Gram's idea."
"She's going to sleep like a baby tonight." I was relieved about that. If Ryan and Maggie slept through the night, I just might get to as well.
"Maggie, can you do me a favor?" Shannon asked her. Maggie nodded. "Can you take Ryan into the dining room and put him in his high chair? I'll be there in just a minute."
Maggie took her baby brother and left the room. Shannon turned around quickly and glared at me.
"Okay who is he? You better give me details before I leave for the evening."
I stared at my 15 year-old cousin in shock. She had no right to ask me questions like that.
"Shannon, I don't have to tell you anything."
"Why did Maggie tell me that Kevin Richardson is coming over tonight for dinner?"
I turned back to the food. "Because he is." Shannon squealed. Uh oh. I turned back around and glared at her. "Not a word to anyone. And you will behave if you are still here when he arrives. Got it?"
Shannon nodded happily. I pushed her towards the dining room gently. "Go feed Ryan, okay?"
My cousin, while being a genuinely good kid, was terrible at keeping secrets. I needed her out of the house before Kevin came over. Kari was going to have to come pick her up now.
I picked up the phone in the kitchen and dialed my cousin Kari's phone number.
"Hello." It was Kari's husband Marcus.
"Hey, Marcus, it's Rob."
"What's up, Rob?"
"Can either you or Kari come get Shannon? I need her to leave before my company come over tonight."
Marcus was silent for a moment. "You're having company? May I ask who?"
I groaned inwardly. I loved Marcus, I really did, but he was a little concerned about me raising the kids considering I'm gay. Kari thought it was complete bullshit on his part and made him stop hounding me.
"The reason I don't want her here is because the guest is a member of the Backstreet Boys. He hit my van this morning, and we have yet to exchange insurance information."
"Okay. I can understand you not wanting her there. She'd flip if she met any of them." Marcus paused again. "When I pick her up, want me to take Maggie, Ryan, and Gram as well? Give you some privacy?"
"Thanks, Marcus, but I'd rather have everyone here. They all need a little consistency in their lives."
"No problem. Just thought I'd offer. I'll be over to get Shannon in about 20 minutes."
"Bye, Marcus."
"Catch ya in a few, Rob."
I stirred the pasta again and made sure everything else was ready. Dinner was pretty much good to go. The only thing missing was the guest.
"Robby." A soft voice floated through the air. I turned to smile at my grandmother as she walked into the room.
"Hi, Gram." I helped her sit down at the kitchen table and gave her a kiss. I love my Gram. She means the world to me and has been there for me whenever I needed her.
"Are you having a boy over tonight?"
I began to blush fiercely as I looked at the smile on my Gram's face. Gram was 87 now, and she'd had a stroke about a year ago. But, despite that, she had days where she was her old feisty self.
"I'm having a friend over for dinner."
"Robby, do you have protection?"
I turned the color of a tomato. No matter how many times my Gram had asked me since I came out to her when I was 17, I still got unnerved by hearing her ask me that.
"He's not that type of friend." Gram raised her eyebrows at me. "Okay, I do have some condoms upstairs in my dresser." I relented and told her the truth.
"Good. Now do you want me to be in my room so I don't bother you?"
"Gram, no. This is your house too. And you are never a bother to me."
She smiled at me and tried to stand up. I helped her up and she patted my arm.
"I'm going to go feed the baby." I nodded and gave her another kiss. She slowly made her way out of the room towards the dining room.
Kevin stood outside the door, fidgeting slightly. He was nervous, very nervous actually. Kristen had told him everything that she knew about Rob except what had happened to make him leave his jobs for a period of time.
He knocked firmly on the door.
"I'll get it!" Shannon called from the dining room. I looked up at the clock. There was no way that was her father...which meant it was Kevin.
"Shannon, no!" I quickly wiped my hands off and took off as well.
The door flew open and a young girl stood in front of Kevin holding a baby on her hip. Kevin recognized the baby as Ryan, but he couldn't place the girl.
She was very pretty. Long brown hair and big blue eyes. Kristen hadn't mentioned any other kids though.
"You must be Kevin. Come on in. Robby's been expecting you." She looked like she was going to explode, but she managed to keep herself under control.
I could hear Shannon's voice as she spoke to Kevin. She had actually listened to me and was acting like a normal human being. I turned the corner, and he was there.
Kevin turned to look at me and a smile broke across his handsome face. Neither of us moved as we were caught in each other's gaze. I know I had a goofy grin on my face. Shannon looked at us strongly. She cleared her throat loudly to get our attention.
I blinked rapidly and looked over at her. Her eyes were wide, and she looked a little shocked. Ryan began to squirm slightly and reach for her hair.
"I'm going to go back into the dining room." Shannon said slowly, excusing herself.
I sighed heavily as she left the room quickly. I looked back at Kevin who also had a slightly upset expression on his face as well. "Great." I mumbled softly.
Kevin looked over at me, his green eyes speaking volumes without having to open his mouth.
"She's my cousin's oldest daughter. Helps me out a lot around the house. Maggie adores her." I said as some sort of explanation. It didn't make me feel any better either.
"Did she?" The question hung in the air. He didn't have to finish it.
"I think so. Shannon's pretty good at stuff like this."
Kevin nodded slowly. "Well, I guess we'll learn how much she knows if the whole world suddenly finds out that I'm gay." He attempted to joke with me.
"I know you told me not to bring anything, but I felt bad showing up empty-handed." Kevin handed me a bottle of red wine.
"Thanks. A glass of wine would be great. It's been a really long week."
Kevin followed me into the kitchen. "Can I do anything?"
"I'm pretty much ready to go actually. I was just waiting for you. If you want to head to the dining room, I'll bring everything out."
Kevin smiled and gestured towards the door on the other side of the kitchen. "This way?"
"Yeah. Everyone should be there already."
Kevin stopped in his tracks. "Everyone?"
I turned to look at him. "Maggie, Ryan, Shannon, and Gram. They all know that you're coming over."
"In that case I should be polite and go say hi." Kevin took a deep breath and pushed open the door.
Chapter Four
I laughed happily as I sat on the couch, curled up with a glass of wine. Kevin sat across from me on the other couch, holding his glass of wine as well.
The evening had gone great. Shannon and Maggie were both under control. When Marcus had arrived to pick up Shannon, he'd seen how much food was there and invited himself to stay. Apparently Kari was busy playing disciplinarian and hadn't made him dinner.
They left soon after dinner, leaving Kevin and I alone for the most part. Gram went to bed as soon as dinner was over. I think she still wanted to be out of the way even though I told her not to worry.
I had put Ryan down for the night soon after that. He was surprisingly quiet tonight. He took his bottle happily and just lay in his crib, drinking until he fell asleep.
Kevin and Maggie had been talking. Well, Kevin had been talking, and Maggie had been listening. I would have to ask him if she had actually talked to him. I had watched the two of them for a few minutes while Kevin helped her get ready for bed. I felt bad that she had somehow roped him into it, but he seemed okay with it.
I hadn't seen Maggie smile that much in months. She hung on to his every word and let him tuck her into bed. She wouldn't even let me do that. Her father used to tuck her in and now she wouldn't let anyone else do it.
Kevin and I had been sitting in the living room drinking our wine and just talking about anything that crossed our minds. Billy Joel was softly playing in the background. I was having a great time. He was so easy to talk to and so funny.
"The kids are really great, Rob." Kevin said softly. "Yeah, they are. As hectic and crazy as my life has become having them here, I wouldn't have it any other way."
I stopped. That wasn't true. "Actually if I could bring their parents back I would do it in a heartbeat." I took another drink of my wine.
Kevin got up and sat next to me. He reached out and rubbed my arm. "Will you tell me what happened?"
I'd questioned earlier why I was so comfortable with this stranger. I still felt totally comfortable with him and my trust for him rose as the minutes ticked by.
"It was about three weeks after Ryan was born when all hell broke loose. I had him for the day so Abby and Michael could spend the day with Maggie. They had planned to take her to Disney and then out to dinner. I got the call about two hours after they left. Their Explorer had been involved in a head on collision. Abby and Michael were killed instantly. Maggie was in the hospital in critical condition. I packed up Ryan and Gram and rushed to the hospital."
Kevin's hand continued to rub my arm as I spoke. I didn't like to talk about that day very much, but his just being there gave me strength.
"Maggie had a broken leg, three cracked ribs, and a concussion. No one had told her anything about her parents, and she was almost hysterical. They kept telling me that they couldn't give her anything else to calm her down. I finally exploded at them and called one of the doctors that I was friends with. She came over and gave Maggie something to let her sleep."
I took another sip of my wine to steel my nerves. "I had to go identify Abby and Michael's bodies. I broke down in the morgue staring at my little sister's body. She was only 26. Michael was 28. They had their whole lives ahead of them."
Tears were pricking at my eyes as I thought back to that day. "It wasn't until two days later that I found out I was the children's legal guardian. I didn't know who else to talk to, so I called up Kristen and she listened as I cried to her. I spent the next three days making arrangements for their funerals. I took a leave of absence from both jobs I was working at the time. I packed up Abby and Michael's house. And I had to break the news to Maggie that her parents were dead."
Kevin reached up and wiped the tears off my cheeks with his thumbs. I sniffled softly.
"Maggie pretty much stopped talking after that. She made herself abundantly clear without having to speak. Anything that reminded her of her parents upset her."
"She talks now." Kevin said softly. I nodded. "She talks when she needs to now. She talks to Shannon a lot more than anyone else."
"What happened after Maggie came home?"
I sighed heavily and drained my wine. "Michael's parents contested the will, saying that I wasn't the best person to raise the children. My cousin Kari fought on my side. Marcus didn't. He agreed with Michael's parents. It finally went to court, and I won. My parents emerged from their holes to tell the judge that Abby and Michael didn't want anyone except me to have their kids. I was a little surprised that they did that considering they haven't supported me in anything my whole life. But they loved Abby with all their hearts. So they followed her wishes."
"I didn't go back to work for two months. We tried to repair our lives as best we could. I had to learn how to be a parent."
I took a deep breath and looked at Kevin. "One of the worst days was when I tried to put Maggie in my Explorer. She flipped out, refusing to get in the car. I called Kari to come over, and she stayed with the kids and Gram while I went and traded in the Explorer for the Windstar."
Kevin wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly, letting me cry on his shoulder. If felt so good to have him holding me. It felt so good to just have someone comfort me, instead of me always being the one doing the comforting. I didn't have very many people to lean on, so I tended to bottle up all the emotions I was feeling.
I sniffled loudly and pulled away from him, feeling very guilty for breaking down like that. I began to laugh when I saw the wet mark on his shirt. Kevin looked down and started to chuckle again.
"I feel like I'm back on tour with the guys again. I'm always the one who gets cried on."
"I'm so sorry, Kevin." I reached for the tissues and blew my nose.
"Robby, don't worry about it. You obviously needed someone to listen and cry on. I'm glad I could be that person for you."
He took a tissue and wiped my face for me, catching the stray tears I had missed. I reached up and grabbed his wrist.
Our eyes met. I started to lean forward to kiss him, but I stopped myself.
"You don't have to do that." I let go of his wrist, and he let his hand drop.
"I know." He whispered. "Rob, can I kiss you?" Kevin's voice was husky as he asked my permission. I nodded slowly.
We both leaned forward slowly, staring into each other's eyes. His piercing green eyes closed as his lips made contact with mine. I shut my eyes and felt his soft lips press against my own. His hand slid behind my head. He began to rub the back of my neck with his thumb in a slow circular motion. I lifted my hand to his cheek, holding his lips in place.
I let my tongue slip out, and his lips parted to accept it. The kiss deepened, and we pulled each other closer. I couldn't get enough of his mouth. I wanted to possess every inch of his mouth. It was incredible. I could feel his goatee tickling my face as he pulled me closer, holding my head firmly in his hands.
Finally we both pulled back. I stared at him in silence. He stared back.
And then just as in my dreams, Ryan began to cry. I shook my head slightly breaking out of the trance his eyes had me in.
"I...I need to go check on him." I stuttered. Kevin nodded. "I'll come with you."
I didn't want to say no so I just nodded silently. We both stood up and he followed me upstairs to Ryan's bedroom. I pushed open the door and went directly to the crib. Kevin was right behind me.
"Ryan, sweetie. Shhh." I lifted him from the crib and cuddled him closely. I checked his diaper, but he wasn't wet. His bottle was empty so he wasn't hungry.
Kevin ran his finger down Ryan's cheek gently as he stared at the baby over my shoulder. His other arm slid around my waist. Ryan caught Kevin's finger in his mouth and began to suck on it gently. The tears dried up immediately and he closed his eyes happily.
I chuckled slightly. "I think we need to get his pacifier. Here." I shifted Ryan into Kevin's arms. Kevin held him gently, cradling the baby in his arms. I picked up one of the pacifiers I kept in his changing table.
I watched Kevin and Ryan for a moment. The moonlight was streaming through Ryan's windows, falling on the two of them. A huge smile was on his face as he began to sing to Ryan softly.
I walked back over to them and put my arms around Kevin. He stopped singing for a moment to look at me with a smile. I slipped the pacifier into Ryan's mouth so Kevin could have his finger back.
"You're very good with him."
"I've always loved kids. I can't wait to have some of my own."
Ryan was suckling happily on the pacifier with his eyes closed tightly. "I think he's ready to go back to sleep."
Kevin nodded and carefully put him down in the crib. We stared at him for a moment before we turned to leave the room.
I took Kevin's hand in my own, and we went back downstairs. "More wine?" I asked before we sat back down.
"Sounds good." Kevin said, handing me the glass.
I went into the kitchen and re-filled the glasses. I stood there for a moment, thinking. What was I doing? I never let myself get carried away like this. I was always the sensible one. I was always the logical one. This wasn't sensible, and this wasn't logical.
After a few moments of silent deliberations, I threw all caution to the wind and just decided to listen to my heart. It had been too long since I'd had someone special in my life. If Kevin turned out to be just that, I would be a fool to turn him away.
"Tell me about your life." I handed him his glass and sat back down next to him. He slid over and reached for my hand. I squeezed his tightly, smiling at him.
"Where do you want me to start?"
I rested my head on his shoulder. "Tell me about your job."
Kevin smiled. "Ah the job. Or in so many words, my life. That's really what it is."
"What's it like?"
"Sometimes, it's the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. And sometimes it's the biggest curse I could ever imagine. Fame isn't all it's cracked up to be. I already told you that I have to marry my best friend so people won't think that I'm gay. That's just one part of it. The public perception of all of us makes me sick. We're nothing like how the press portrays us to be. Nick is a shy little boy who just wants his parents' approval. One of these days, he just might get it. AJ is a calm homebody. He loves it when we get breaks from touring so he can get home and work in his garden. Howie is the wild man that no one suspects. Brian just wants to be left alone so he can spend time with Leighanne without the world watching him."
"What about you?"
Kevin sighed and squeezed my hand. "I just want to be able to be myself. I'm tired of hiding the truth. I'm tired of being the groups conscience. I just want to be able to relax and enjoy myself."
"Do you like being Kevin Richardson?"
Kevin smiled. "It's the greatest acting job I've ever had. I'd like to think that I play him pretty well. Do I like being him? Not much anymore. It's gotten to be too much of a hassle."
I let out a long yawn before I could stop myself. Kevin smiled and looked down at me.
"You look exhausted."
I nodded. "It's been a really long week. I haven't gotten a full night's sleep in days. Someone always wakes up. Works been really busy too."
"I'm sure the wine isn't helping either." Kevin said with a smile. I smiled back. "You're probably right."
"You should go to bed. We can talk more later."
I nodded and closed my eyes. "Hey, Robby. Wouldn't you be more comfortable sleeping in your bed?"
I snuggled up to Kevin and shook my head. "I'm pretty comfortable right here."
Kevin chuckled softly. "Well, I think I would be more comfortable if you were sleeping in your bed."
I opened my eyes and sat up. I looked into his eyes and smiled.
"You're probably right."
I stood up and reached for his hand. "I'll show you out."
Kevin stood up and we walked to the door. "Hey, Kevin. I had a lot of fun tonight."
"So did I, Rob. Thanks for having me over."
I smiled and reached up to brush his cheek. "Anytime." Kevin leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. This time the kiss was short and sweet. We knew that was all it was going to be, just a kiss.
"Bye, Kevin."
I shut the door behind him and ran to the living room windows to peek outside. I watched him walk to his car with a content smile on my face.
I was happy.
---I've asked for these before...but any good revenge tactics would be very helpful. I've already informed the insane stalker co-worker that my now ex-boyfriend has that he and I broke up...that should be interesting. But I'm always open to more suggestions.