Little Big Man

LITTLE BIG MAN – a serial novel by Travis Creel

[Author's Note: I enjoy engaging with readers. Feel free to write with comments or questions.]

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: NOW WHAT?

Previously: The guillotines are put into use, and four pairs of balls come off. Mounted in the machine, his fate uncertain, Matti mouths "I love you, Cheesehead" to Alex, who mouths back "I love you, too." Both keep their testicles, as do Rhody, Noisy and Nodak. Del, however, does not. The other three `losers' are Mississippi, South Dakota, and Oregon.

The Russians have lost two of their top choices and are worried that the Royal Family will deprive them of others through the selection process. However, Dmitri personally is thrilled: All three on his wish list emerged whole, and he is virtually certain to take home one of them.

ALEX: THURSDAY, JUNE 16, MORNING – INDIAN OCEAN

• Now what?

The question came from Noisy. He was back being friends with me again, I guess, perhaps feeling guilty over having fallen for Latronius' story about me getting favors from the Russians. And perhaps needing comfort after losing two close friends (Del and Mississippi), now in the infirmary recovering from their geldings. Would we ever see them again, talk to them again? We didn't know.

We had gone to breakfast after a night when I didn't imagine any of us got much sleep. There were just the eight of us in the room – it seemed cavernous when it was empty like this.

And no one felt like talking. I wanted to, I needed to – but I couldn't say the things I wanted to say to Matti in front of the others. Especially not with Rhody there – I didn't want to hurt Rhody, although he knew where I stood with Matti. I hadn't had a chance to say a word to Matti last night – we were individually hustled back to our cabins before they even freed Matti from his machine. I spent the night in isolation, both elated and miserable. Elated because Matti and I had survived whole. Miserable for the new Eunuchs, especially Del. And because, this having been the final competition, my time together with Matti was growing ever shorter.

We ate in silence, no one willing to break the ice. I was waiting until afterwards, when Matti and I could go to his cabin and finally let our proverbial hair down.

The staff was starting to shoo us out, when suddenly Nodak said:

• This is ridiculous. We've got to talk about this. All of us. We're all in this together and we're all hurting. We all lost friends last night.

There was a stunned silence and we all looked at each other, looks of anguish on our faces despite emerging intact from the devastating events of last night.

• (Wyoming) Yeah, he's right. Let's meet in my room in five minutes.

• (Matti) How about by the pool? More room.

The others agreed and so the eight of us met at the pool – Matti, Rhody, Noisy, Nodak, South Carolina, Nevada, Wyoming, and me. And Noisy's question had broken the ice.

• (Noisy) Now what?

• (Matti) We go on.

• (Wyoming) Thank you for that bit of inspiring wisdom. . . . Sorry, that was rude. I just meant –

• (Matti) That I only stated the obvious. You're right. Non-helpful answer. But nonetheless true. We're not in the driver's seat. We haven't been since the moment we got on this boat. We just have to deal with whatever they do to us and make the best of it; we have no other option.

• (South Carolina) We could jump overboard.

• (Nodak) I don't want to die. Minnesota's right – we have to go on. Even the guys who – who – who lost their . . .

He couldn't finish. His best friend, South Dakota, had been one of those castrated last night.

• (Matti) Yes, even they have to go on.

• (Noisy) That wasn't really my question. I meant, what do you think will happen to us? I know we have to go on no matter what – but what is `no matter what'?

• (Wyoming) I hate to say this, but we have to face the possibility – maybe even the probability – that what happened to our friends last night might happen to us, too. I mean – they've already cut off the nuts of twelve of us. And these are Arabs – they're known for having eunuchs, aren't they?

• (Nodak) And I don't think they created those machines just for us. They've used them before.

• (Rhody) Look, why are we looking at the downside? We're all still here, we're all still virgins, we all still have our junk. If they were going to castrate us all, wouldn't they have done it already? Maybe we're going to come out of this all right.

• (South Carolina) You call being a sex slave all right? You call being fucked in the ass `all right'? Look at what they've done to our friends. The first day on board, I met this guy Louisiana. Me and him were close, like brothers, you know? And then, boom – he's a Bottom, I can't hardly ever talk to him. Yesterday at lunch he gets raped by four big maroons, in front of everybody. What did he do to deserve that? Nothing. THAT's what's next, Noisy. That's the best case scenario, the best we can hope for. Sure, Louisiana's got his balls. But what good are they going to do him, he's just a pussy now so far as they're concerned. If this is how I'm going to live, I don't want to live.

• (Rhody) We don't know that. There are other things they could do with us. We're still virgins.

• (South Carolina) Of course we are. That increases our market value.

• (Nodak) I don't think they're going to sell us. That Arab guy said we'd be living with his family.

• (Matti) He said SOME of us would be living with his family.

• (Wyoming) Correct. And the Russians said some of us would be going to Russia. I think that's probably true.

• I agree. I think some of us are going to Russia, some are going to live with his family, and some of us are going somewhere else.

• (South Carolina) Yeah, they're going to sell us. And ten minutes later, we won't be virgins anymore.

• (Wyoming) I think you're both right. Wisconsin about where we'll wind up, and South Carolina about what will happen when we get there.

• (Nevada) `Confucius say if rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it.'

Stunned silence.

• (Matti) Yeah, that joke got a weatherman fired in New York City.

• (South Carolina) I'm not going to enjoy it, I'll tell you that. This n----r isn't going to relax when they try to ream his black ass. I'm going to fight it like hell.

• (Wyoming) Then you may get your wish. An end to your life as a slave.

After that sobering remark, there was silence for a long time. Then Matti jumped in the pool. "Who's for a swim?"

Anxious for some relief from the tension we felt, there were soon seven nude bodies in the cool, soothing water. As I began my breaststroke, I watched South Carolina slowly walk away.

Where was he going?

DMITRI: THURSDAY, 16 JUNE, MORNING – OFF THE COAST OF KENYA

• Now what?

The question came from Yuri.

• (Boris) We negotiate. We tell the Prince which ones we want and get him to agree to take the others.

• (Yuri) Do you think he will agree? He doesn't seem very cooperative.

• (Boris) He's just having fun. He enjoyed the drama of last night, seeing us squirm. But he needs to keep us happy, he needs us to supply him. He'll negotiate.

• I'm not so sure. There are rumors the Chinese are making counteroffers, undercutting our price.

• (Sergei) I've heard those rumors, too, Dmitri. But the Chinese will supply Asian boys – their own or from Indochina or the Philippines – and the Family clearly prefers Westerners. Besides, did the Prince seem that interested in price? He upped his offer by 50% to get the terms he wanted.

• Exactly why I don't think he'll lay down and pick the ones we tell him to. Why pay that extra money and then give up the rights you just negotiated?

• (Boris) Good point. But we have to try.

• (Yuri) So what do we tell him?

• (Boris) That we need to keep Nevada – the only one Sergei has left. We want Wyoming for Yuri –

• (Yuri) Although Rhode Island would be fine.

• (Boris) And I want Illinois. Dmitri, I assume you still want North Dakota as your number one.

• Frankly, I'm happy as long as I get one of my three.

• (Boris) So we can offer him your other two. That should be an enticement. Even though they're not Black, I'd be tempted to take them myself – all three are sexy as hell.

• In other words, we offer South Carolina, one from Wyoming and Rhode Island, and two from my three.

• (Sergei) That's too complicated. Just ask them to give us Illinois and Nevada. Whichever others they choose, we'll adjust. If they pick Wyoming, we'll pick Rhode Island. They pick two of Dmitri's, we'll pick the third. Keep it simple – just ask for Illinois and Nevada.

• (Yuri) Makes sense.

• (Boris) Agreed.

• I hope it works.

I was not at all sure it would.

ALEX: South Carolina was walking away, his eyes seemingly on the railing and the ocean beyond.

• (Rhody) Hey, do you think he's - ?

• Should we stop him?

• (Wyoming) No. Let him. They'll have guards posted, won't they? And if they don't – well, then he'll get what he wants, won't he? We shouldn't intervene.

• (Noisy) I don't feel comfortable letting a guy just commit suicide like that. If they stop him, he's going to be in deep shit. And if they don't, he's dead.

• (Wyoming) Yes, but –

• (Noisy) South Carolina, stop!

Noisy raised his naked body out of the pool and started walking. South Carolina looked back, saw Noisy coming after him, and glanced ahead. Two maroons, José and Marcus, started to move in a path to intercept him, no doubt alerted by Noisy's call.

South Carolina stopped for a half second, looked at the two maroons, and suddenly sprinted toward the railing. Marcus headed toward the place where the nude black prisoner was headed, while José aimed directly toward South Carolina. But South Carolina skirted him with a nifty sidestep, and accelerated, launching himself into the air as he approached the railing. As he did so, he changed his angle, which the maroons had not anticipated. José got hold of his arm, but South Carolina's momentum propelled him forward so strongly that he broke the grip and sailed over the side. Seconds later we heard a splash.

• (Noisy) Oh my God!

The rest of us climbed out of the pool, not quite believing what had just happened.

• (Marcus) Stay where you are!

Noisy was tempted to run to the railing, but Rhody grabbed him and kept him from rushing past the hulking maroon. It was true that the seven of us outnumbered the two maroons – and collectively we outweighed them, but not by as much as you might think. Besides, what good could come of confronting them? We had no interest in following South Carolina over the railing, and staying on board after assaulting a maroon could only result in punishment of the worst sort.

Marcus pulled out his phone and alerted . . . someone. Men came running from everywhere. We were ordered back into the pool, where they could keep an eye on us. The Russians showed up, more than a dozen maroons showed up, other crew members showed up, including the doctors. Everybody, I noticed, but the Arab.

They kept us in the pool for nearly two hours.

DMITRI: Shit.

A leap over the railing was something I did not expect. Coming from Florida, it wouldn't have been shocking. But South Carolina? He'd gone the whole journey without losing either his virginity or his manhood. Only eight of the fifty-two Little Big Man contestants could make that claim, and the last thing I expected was one of the eight intact Tops to go over the side.

Fortunately, the Bottoms and Eunuchs were all locked in their cabins, so we could devote all of our resources to the matter at hand. The seven remaining Tops were easily controlled – they weren't stupid enough to try to leave the pool.

South Carolina, unfortunately, had been that stupid. And he was a valuable resource. Who knew what would happen to the Royal Family's offer should one of our cargo disappear. He would cost us plenty. The fall itself wouldn't have killed him, but by the time we got the ship stopped, we were well separated from him.

Our biggest worry: we had to keep the Prince Regent out of the loop. As we knew he likes to indulge in bdsm, we supplied him with enough rope, floggers, paddles and Bottoms to keep him occupied for a while.

The ship had six zodiacs, which doubled as lifeboats. We launched them and sped back toward where we had been. It was late in the morning, but the sun was still easterly, so if South Carolina had the illusion that he could swim to shore he could at least pick out which direction that was in. It made little sense for him to think he could make it – we were more than thirty miles off shore, and there were currents to fight in the process – but what choice did he have? Just tread water until hypothermia or a shark got him? Of course he would swim.

Oh, how I wished we had had a helicopter to search. But we did have one tool – his headband – which would relay his location to us if we got close enough. Of course now we were out of range. However, the receiver was portable, and we were able to load it onto one of the zodiacs.

Our six zodiacs fanned out in an arc, one heading straight behind the ship's path, one further out to sea, and the other four in increasing angles toward the shore. We put the receiver in one of the middle ones, with Ramses and Carlos to monitor it, as well as two of our more intimidating enforcers. And eventually we got lucky: a ping. Soon thereafter, he was spotted. Ramses radioed the other zodiacs: the fugitive was surrounded and began a futile game of cat and mouse, diving and trying to swim underneath the zodiacs. Unfortunately for him, that just brought him closer to one of the boats, and Ramses clubbed him over the head with a paddle, enough to stun him, not enough to knock him out. Enforcers, stripped down to their briefs, dived in and pulled him over to the zodiac, where he was lifted on board without resistance.

Of course, the Prince Regent noticed that the ship had stopped in the middle of the ocean and came to inquire why.

• A small maintenance issue. Nothing serious. But my crew tells me it's safer to take care of it now rather than later. It won't significantly affect our time table.

An awkward explanation, but he seemed to accept it. And went back to tying up Montana.

South Carolina's misadventure would make him unsellable if it got out. And the last thing that any of the four of us wanted was to be stuck with him. We had to make sure that didn't happen.

ALEX: THURSDAY, JUNE 16, AFTERNOON – INDIAN OCEAN

That afternoon our cabins weren't locked. The eight of us could move to each other's cabins but not beyond the end of the corridor, which was closed off. But now I could spend time with Matti, the first real opportunity we'd had to be alone together since the horrors of last night.

• Now what?

• Now what what?

• What do you think they'll do to him?

• It won't be pretty. It doesn't matter – it doesn't affect us.

• Hopefully.

• (unexpected pause) Hopefully.

• Matti, you seem distracted.

• . . .

• Penny for them.

• . . .

• Yes?

• Something I want to ask you, but I'm afraid to.

• Jeez, Matti, after all we've been through, how can you be afraid of me?

• I'm not afraid of you, just . . . your answer.

• You'll never know unless you ask.

• Okay. . . . Deep breath. Here goes. . . . Alex, did you mean it?

• Did I mean what?

• Last night. Did you mean it when you said you loved me? Or was that just to buck me up?

• . . . Oh, Matti.

• Not exactly the answer I was hoping for.

• I meant it.

• That's the answer I was hoping for. Only . . . do you mean it now?

• Yes. . . . I think so. (Long pause) I do love you, Matti – but I'm not sure how.

• Do you want to count the ways?

• You're quoting poetry at me?

• Old Finnish tradition. If I were cleverer, I'd say something about sunbathing in the nude and work in the words bare it' and browning'.

• Fortunately you're not that clever. Thank you for sparing me.

• . . . What do you mean, you're not sure how?

• Exactly that. I mean, it's not physical – at least I don't think so. I'm not hard now.

• We're not touching. What if I - ?

• Matti, don't.

• Why? Why shouldn't I touch you there? Afraid it will start to grow?

• If your cock is stimulated it's going to grow.

• Does it grow when the doctor examines you? Turn your head and cough – do you get a hard-on from that?

• No, of course not.

• Because you're not in love with the doctor.

• Matti, you're making this difficult.

• Good. Love shouldn't be easy.

• I do love you – as a brother.

• No, my Cheesehead friend. You don't love me like a brother. I don't mean to bring up something painful but you had a brother, and you didn't love him like you love me. It's more than that, and you know it.

• . . .

• Right?

• . . .

• Alex?

• . . . Yes. Yes it is. Matti, I know I don't ever want to lose you. You're the most important person in my life and I want to be with you always. I don't want to have sex with you –

• You haven't tried it.

• But I don't want to lose you.

• I don't want to lose you, either. But realistically –

• Don't complete that sentence.

• Alex, we have to face facts. You and I have been incredibly lucky. There are only eight of us left – eight out of fifty-two who are still Tops. What are the chances of that – no, I'm not going to calculate them.

• Although you could.

• Although I could. We've had almost two weeks together, and we should treasure them. But they're coming to an end, we should take advantage of the time we have left.

• Are you saying this so I'll agree to have sex with you?

• No! Jesus, Alex, no, I'm not that shallow.

• But you wouldn't object if I did agree.

• I'm not that stupid, either. Alex, when two people are attracted to each other, they generally have sex. But both people have to want to.

• I – I'm sorry, Matti. I know you want to. But I'm not ready. It would mean –

• Admitting that you're gay?

• I'm not gay.

• Bisexual, then.

• Maybe. I mean, maybe that's what it would mean, not maybe I'm bisexual.

• But you love me.

• But I love you. Somehow. Just not – that way.

• It wouldn't have to be fucking. Let me give you a blow job.

• No. I've gotten blow jobs from Bottoms – I don't want to lump you in with them.

• Hand job, then.

• No. Matti, I'm not ready for this.

• Okay. I don't want to rush you. But think about this. When we are separated – as surely we will be – will you regret that we never had a chance to be intimate with each other?

• . . . I don't know. It could work the other way, too. What if we ARE `intimate' and it's not special?

• It will be special, because I'm with you.

• Maybe we won't be separated – have you thought about that? Some of us will wind up with that Arab. He said some of us would. As in more than one. We could wind up together.

• And I'm sure they allow their slaves to sleep with each other.

• Okay, probably not. But – I'm not there yet, Matti. Can I have some more time to think about it?

• We don't have a lot of time.

• We have some. Last night he said that where we wound up would be determined `in days'. And we can't reach the Arabian Peninsula before Saturday anyway – I'm sure that's where we're going. We don't have to decide this right now. You're right – we don't have much time left together. But at least we have a couple of days.

Or so I thought.

[COMING UP NEXT: CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX: WHAT, NOW?]