Little Big Man

LITTLE BIG MAN by Travis Creel (traviscreelnyc@yahoo.com)

BOOK ONE: THE ROAD TO SLAVERY

CHAPTER ONE: APPLICATION

Previously: In a prologue set in October, a young American named Alex is living in Russia with a man (Dmitri) he calls "Master" (and who calls him Alexei'). Dmitri orders him to write the story of his life, but only since your life really began'; Alex knows what he means by that: "You mean the contest." They agree on a starting date of March 1. He is to write his account in diary form, as if unaware of events that happened after those he is describing.

Dmitri has indicated that he will, from time to time, supplement Alex's account with his own version of events, without Alex's knowledge. Since his English is flawed, he is writing in Russian and his employee Oleg is translating it into `readable' English.

[Author's note: although the University of Wisconsin at Superior is real (as are all other colleges mentioned in this story), the World Studies Program Alex describes is entirely a figment of my imagination.]

ALEX: TUESDAY, MARCH 1 - SUPERIOR, WISCONSIN

The sender was identified simply by the letters LBMF. I normally ignore email when I don't recognize the sender, and this sender was a bunch of letters trying to be an acronym and failing miserably. But the Subject caught my eye: "Notification of Scholarship Eligibility". Whoa. What debt-ridden college student wouldn't pounce at the opportunity of a scholarship?

A scam, no doubt. Maybe when I opened it, it would unleash a Pandora's Box of viruses upon my laptop. But what if it were legit? Could I afford to just let it sit there unopened and miss out on a way to pay for part of my college education? Maybe Dr. Struthers or Dr. Mayhew had nominated me for something I didn't know about.

Okay, opening it. Here goes.

To: Alex Sorenson, junior, University of Wisconsin (Superior)

Dear Mr. Sorenson:

You have been recommended to our attention as potentially qualified for a scholarship sponsored by the Little Big Man Foundation. If your application is accepted, you will compete with other students from your state for a $25,000 scholarship and a trip around the world. Each state winner will compete in June for the $250,000 scholarship awarded to the national winner. Every man whose application is accepted will be awarded a $350 stipend for competing in the state competition; any expenses incurred will be on us.

What is the Little Big Man Foundtion? We recognize that not every Big Man on Campus is big in stature. The world is biased in favor of the tall. It's a simple fact that men of below-average height face a more difficult path toward achieving the success they deserve.

In every state, we've had researchers and field operatives scouring data banks and interviewing influential people to recommend young men eligible for our program. We seek attractive, athletic, academic achievers of excellent character who are five foot eight or less. Your name came up in our search.

To find out more about Little Big Man, visit our website, lbmf.org. And feel free to vet us in any way you like.

Your application must be completed online by MARCH 15. There are absolutely no costs incurred by applying or in any aspect of the Little Big Man program. You have nothing to lose – and a whole new life to gain!

Sincerely,

John-Peter Dixon President, Little Big Man Foundation

'A whole new life' seemed a bit hyperbolic, but if this thing was on the level, it could make a major difference in my life. Even if I just got into the contest, I wouldn't sneeze at an extra three hundred fifty bucks.

A part of me wanted to click on the link immediately and check it out. But I've got until March 15 to apply. Start investigating now, and – I know myself – I'll be researching this all night. Tomorrow I have a Mythology test, I'd better focus on that. And there's no point in a scholarship if you fail your classes.

DMITRI: TUESDAY, 1 MARCH - ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA

"Will you walk into my parlor, said the spider to the fly." – 19th century English poem.

We are about to attract our young flies, our parlor being a boat off the coast of Florida. The fly in the poem knew the spider was up to no good and that to enter his parlor would be a grave mistake. In her case, pun definitely intended, although insects don't actually have graves, do they. But, even knowing better, the silly little fly succumbed to the spider's flattery and subsequently – succumbed. Caught in his web.

Ironic the metaphor of the web. It is the web that is our greatest tool for reeling in our targets. Our handsome young flies will get caught in our different kind of web. But at least they won't wind up inside a spider's stomach.

The above description may make me seem like the villain in this piece. I'm not. Our handsome flies may be unwilling at first, but most not only adapt but eventually embrace their fate. In a way, we are providing a useful social service, helping them recognize their true nature. Though, to be honest, not every case is a success story – Jackson being Exhibit A.

ALEX: SATURDAY, MARCH 5 - SUPERIOR, WISCONSIN

Okay, I'm going for it. Aced the Mythology test, got an A on my paper on Immanuel Kant, done all my reading for Ren Art this week. Time to reward myself and see if I can find a way of paying for all this. Clicked on the links and did some digging.

Two hours later: Little Big Man, to my partial astonishment, looks legit. Several charity rating sites give it high marks and it's been around for four years with plenty of satisfied customers.

The LBMF website had a cool animated logo. It started as the silhouettes of five men in white against a burnt orange background. The figures then morphed into solid vertical lines. The first one remained in place. The middle one curled up and attached to the second, making a letter b. The last two, facing each other, bent over at the waist', merging to form a lower-case m. Underneath the newly formed lbm' was the slogan, "short dudes rule!"

Inside was lots of information, including pictures of last year's winner, a guy from Georgia Tech named Drake Belsen. In an interview he described the world cruise the state winners get, visiting over a dozen countries along the way. God, I'd love that. I've always wanted to travel, but – well, money. Actually, the contest itself took place on the boat, off the coast of Florida, then afterwards the boat took off across the Atlantic for what they called "the adventure of a lifetime." Who was I to disagree?

The criteria for winning the scholarship were a bit disappointing in that it almost seemed like a beauty contest. You were judged on four categories, including physical appearance. The other three were academic achievement, athleticism/fitness, and character.

The website listed emails of past contestants willing to be contacted. One was Drew Simmons, a senior at UW-La Crosse, "Wisconsin's Little Big Man" from two years ago. I shot him an email, and he responded almost immediately, told me what a fun time it was, and that I should definitely apply.

One thing that bothered me was that it sounded more than a little gay. Sometimes people think I am gay myself – maybe because I have what girls describe as a `cute butt'. Plus I'm a diver on the swim team, and ever since Greg Louganis, divers have been a little suspect. I mean we wear tiny speedos and there is a lot of flesh on display. And while I have a healthy aesthetic appreciation of the male body – in the way you might admire a Greek or Roman statue – I'm strictly for the girls, and I assure you home base has been touched. Maybe not often, but it's been touched.

So a contest where you were judged on your looks – that sounded, well, a bit iffy. I asked Drew about that, and he said totally not. Everyone he'd met was straight, and most of the judges were women. He added that the national contest had the atmosphere of spring break party time. There was plenty of alcohol, and they'd helicoptered in a bevy of strippers, some of whom found their way to guys' cabins. The organizers knew guys needed sex – and went out of their way to encourage it.

That was a relief, as I've been the target of more than one suggestive remark questioning my sexuality. If people knew I was entering a "beauty contest for guys", some of them would definitely wonder whether my DC wasn't a little more AC than I was letting on.

Drew sent a link to an article in the LaCrosse Star-Gazette, and there was a picture of him in a tux, the banner WISCONSIN diagonally across his chest just like Miss America. (Sigh.)

But for $25,000 they could dress me in a tiara and a tutu.

DMITRI: SATURDAY, 5 MARCH - ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA

Now about me. Officially I am the CEO of Little Big Man – I have three employees here in St. Petersburg who help me run my end of things, keep the books, and coordinate my business dealings, which are far from limited to this contest. Sasha is my right-hand man; Oleg and Ilya report to him.

I may be CEO, but I have three nearly-coequal partners – Boris, Yuri, and Sergei. Yuri lives nearby, Boris and Sergei are in Moscow. The four of us run Little Big Man almost as a quadrumvirate. It is a genuine team effort, and we have divvied up responsibilities.

Boris is the mastermind behind the data collection. We jokingly call him hacker-in-chief; he has a cadre of young geniuses who can access any system in the world and manipulate it. Thanks to Boris, we know who to send the invitations to.

Sergei is our mathematician; his group analyzes the data, puts together the profiles and does the initial selection. Thanks to Sergei, we know which applicants we want to accept and focus on.

Yuri readies the website and social media and coordinates the support team to handle communications with those who respond to the invitation. Thanks to Yuri, our respondents find Little Big Man credible.

My job is logistics. I merely have to get everyone and everything in the right place at the right time, in fifty-two state contests (including Puerto Rico and D.C.), and then get them to a boat anchored in Fort Lauderdale. I have four regional coordinators in America who are arranging the event venues and hotels. I will go over in April to oversee thirteen of the state contests, working with one of my favorite regional coordinators, Ramses.

Jackson sees me spending hours talking to my partners and the regional coordinators. It reminds him that that time of year is coming up soon. And he's getting anxious.

As well he should. Well he should.

ALEX: MONDAY, MARCH 7 - SUPERIOR, WISCONSIN

Okay, my application is in. The questionnaire was in four sections, one for each of the judging categories.

Physical appearance: Easy. Just upload a head shot. Selfies fine. I've had no trouble getting dates, so I assume I'm reasonably okay in this department.

Academics: I'm in this cool World Studies program, where, aside from one geographically neutral course (like math or science), your courses each year focus on a different region – Africa, Asia, Europe, the Americas. I'm in my European year and have a 3.8 average and a 1420 on my SAT's. Academics should be a strength.

Athleticism: They listed like fifty activities and you checked off a box for how frequently you engaged in it – from "every day" to "never". Besides diving, I ran track in high school, play golf a lot, bowl, and hit the gym regularly. I'm hardly the jock stud of the campus, but I keep fit.

Character: Okay, this is where I got nervous. I mean, I think of myself as a good person, but everyone has made mistakes in their life. And I made a big one once. I mean a big one. I didn't want to tell them about it, but I didn't want to lie either.

The questionnaire started off harmlessly enough. They asked a bunch of "agree/disagree" statements designed to ferret out wingnuts. Then they asked about hard drugs, arrests, and other stuff that would obviously disqualify you. And stupid shit like your favorite TV shows, music you listened to, who you followed on Twitter, yada yada.

And then they asked for the emails of five people they could contact for recommendations. I named my teammate Daniel, my diving coach, my one cool uncle, and Professors Mayhew and Struthers. I wasn't going to name my dad, as we don't get along. As for my mom, she left when I was six and I haven't heard from her since.

Then came the twist: they asked for three people who might criticize you. This would take some thought, especially if LBMF actually contacted them. You could plant as "enemies" actual friends who would say "Alex's weakness is he cares too much for other people" or shit like that, but my gut feeling was that they would smell that a mile off, like any decent job interviewer would.

My gut said they were testing your honesty. And if I was going to be honest . . . I'd have to name my dad.

If he told, it would end my chances. Would he tell? It could be dangerous for him as well, although I doubt it would ever get back to the authorities. I don't think he'd tell them everything, but he might make up some shit to sabotage my chances. It was safest to leave him off the list.

But then they'd see no parents on either list, and wonder what I was hiding.

Oh, hell, go ahead and put him down. They probably won't contact him. If they do and he lowers the boom, well, I guess I deserve it. I also listed my sister Amelia, who's always seen Dad's side of things, and a girl I had dated until we had an awkward break-up.

I double-checked to make sure I hadn't omitted anything. No, it was clean, it was okay. Did I have a criminal record – no. Had I ever been arrested - no. They didn't ask if I'd ever committed a crime. They came close, but they had not hit the mark.

You need the money, Alex. Press SEND.

SEND.

DMITRI: THURSDAY, 10 MARCH - ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA

Applications are flooding in. Yuri has done a fabulous job with the website. The interview with "Drake Belsen" is totally convincing. We have links to dozens of fake articles that look like they're from actual newspapers. This year we added pictures and e-mail addresses for the supposed "past winners". Most of those pictures are actually students at a technical school in Novgorod; others are copied from some old files of students in Venezuela, Mozambique, Korea, etc., for ethnic variety. "Drake Belsen" himself is actually Sergei's cousin's boy.

Yuri's small army of worker bees is churning out responses to the inquiries that come in to one of those fake e-mail addresses. The targets really have bitten on this hook. The number one question we get? "Is this a gay thing?" No worries, we tell them. Everyone involved is 100% straight. (Ha!)

Thinking about it makes my favorite organ 100% straight – straight up in the air.

ALEX: WEDNESDAY, MARCH 16 - SUPERIOR, WISCONSIN

The deadline for applications was yesterday. Have heard nothing except the pro forma "We've received your application" e-mail. They said they'll notify accepted applicants on April 1. That's two weeks from Friday.

I have no idea how many guys they contacted, nor how many applications they'll accept. Probably not that many, if they're giving away $350 a crack to everyone who makes the cut.

Every day that there's not a rejection letter brings a measure of relief. And the nagging question: would they contact Dad?

DMITRI: FRIDAY, 25 MARCH - ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA

Sergei has been feeding me pix for a week now. We have six days before we make the cut. We mostly let Sergei's algorithm do the choosing; it's pretty sophisticated and hasn't let us down yet. But Sergei's algorithm can't measure looks - we need to enter in some kind of rating from the head-shot. Each of us rates each picture from 1 to 10 and that feeds the algorithm. Which means a ton of pictures to look at and make quick judgments: a 9 for this one, a 3 for that one. There are so many, it actually gets close to boring, despite the fact that I am looking at good-looking young men. I wish I was looking at more than their faces.

State contests begin in four weeks. Boris, Sergei, Yuri and I will each run one of the four regions. I have the Midwest this year. Three contests a weekend (except four in the last) starting with Ohio and ending three weeks later in Fargo. From Fargo I'll fly down to Florida in preparation for the big event which starts on Saturday, 4 June. Where we will meet the fifty-two handsome little flies that have wandered into our parlor. Handsome little flies like Alex Sorenson. Unsuspecting innocents.

But at this point, I have no idea Alex even exists. I must have looked at his photograph for five seconds, like all the others. But he was just one of thousands.

FLASHFORWARD: SATURDAY, OCTOBER 15 - ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA

• I tell you to write what happen in March. Your last entry 16 March. Are you finish?

• You said to write what was important. After the 16th I was just waiting. Nothing else happened in March. I tried to follow your instructions.

• You do well. Next part of story is state contest, yes?

• What about April?

• Something important happen in April?

• Definitely.

• Really? Am surprise.

• April was significant, Master. Just maybe not in – not in quite the way you're expecting.

• Then you write April next. I want tomorrow. You have time. I make time for you every day.

• Yes, Master. Thank you, Master.