Hello wonderful people! As promised, I'm getting this chapter out faster per the wishes of some of you readers. You *cough knowwhoyouare *cough! Writing this story has been a liberating experience, made richer by the fact there are so many supporting my efforts. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
As always, I do not know NSYNC, anyone affiliated with them, or any other celebrities that may appear within these musings. Therefore, I do not have any knowledge of their sexual orientations/habits or personalities. This is a work of fiction. This is a story of developing relationships between men, so please leave if that disturbs or offends you. Also, if you are not of legal age in your community, there are more appropriate sites for you to be at.
A Light in the Tunnel is not your average stroke story, and I do not apologize to those who wish it were. I want to explore the many types of relationships people experience, not just sexual. With only one facet of interaction, we are but shadows of what we could be.
Without further ado...
A Light in the Tunnel
Chapter 5:
Burke was glad of his aisle seat, able to run to the nearest exit in case of disaster. He was terrified of gazing out the porthole window. He didn't want to see clouds blotting out the green of Earth. "Honey," the elderly woman, her hair tied in a kerchief as if it would become windblown inside the plane, beside him cooed, "don't forget to breathe." Burke struggled to turn his head from its focus point on the seat in front of him. "This must be your first time flying." He nodded slowly. Her chuckle was friendly, not condescending. "Trust me, there's nothing to be afraid of. I've been flying for longer than you've been alive. What's your name, honey?"
"B--Burke, ma'am."
She patted his hand, almost worried about him crushing the armrest in his grasp. "I'm Louise. It's nice to meet you, Burke." She pulled her small bag from under her seat, fished around inside its cavernous insides, and withdrew a stick of gum. "This will help your ears when we get ready to land. And this," she continued, finding something else, "will make your trip so much easier." She fiddled with a wrapped and laid a small pill in Burke's hand.
"What is it?"
"Just a motion sickness pill. It will help you relax. Don't worry, it's perfectly harmless." Burke slipped the tablet into his mouth and took a sip of his soda. "Good boy. Why are you flying to Florida?" Between the Dramamine and Louise's bantering, Burke almost forgot about being thousands of feet in the air. When the captain announced their final approach, the woman offered Burke her hand to hold during their landing. He viciously gnawed his gum, and squeezed. "Oh! Here, honey, hang on to the armrest instead," Louise chuckled, massaging her fingers. Burke blushed.
As they stood in a long line of grumpy businessmen, excited families, and weary travelers, Burke finally calmed down. "Louise, thanks for talking to me during that fiasco."
She rubbed his back. "No problem, honey. Are your friends supposed to pick you up?"
"I think so."
"Good. Just go home, take a shower, then a long nap. You'll feel much better afterwards."
Walking into the terminal, Burke dawdled, looking around the crowd. No face was familiar, and he wondered if he had been forgotten. Any smile he might have had faded away, knowing that his track record of being pushed to the side was being proven again. Slowly, not knowing where he could go in a strange city so far from home, he plodded toward the baggage claim. Luggage circled around and around, waiting for someone to step forward and claim it. Burke felt like that, wanting someone who wouldn't turn him away. "Your face will freeze like that," a voice, accompanied by stomping feet, said. Burke spun around, and instantly began to cry. Chris pulled the boy close, petting his neck. "I'm sorry Burke. Traffic in the parking lot is atrocious."
"I thought--that you had changed your mind."
"Never. I couldn't find a parking spot, so I had the guys just drop me off. They're probably still driving through the lot. Let's get your bags and get out of here." Between the two of them, they managed to haul Burke's suitcases out the doors. The heavy, humid air closed around Burke's lungs, forcing him to stop for a moment. "It's alright. Breathing takes a little getting used to. I wonder where they are? I said I would meet them here." Chris gazed about the congested drive, looking for a familiar vehicle.
A massive black Suburban squealed to a stop in front of them. A tinted window slid down, Justin's face appearing behind it. "Burke! Come on dude, climb in and we'll get you away from this madness!" Burke and Chris threw his bags in the back, then clambered into the SUV. As he flopped into the seat, a pair of thick arms enfolded him.
"Hey, little guy," Joey murmured against his neck.
"Hi, Joey."
"Have a good flight?" They all tried not to laugh as Burke relayed the horrific tale of his first plane ride. "I should have thought about that. One of us could have flown up to St. Louis, then came back with you."
"I'm ok."
As much as he focused on talking to his friends, Burke's attention was drawn out the window. His first real palm trees swayed gently in the stiff breeze. Cars, their tops down, whizzed by as the sped down the interstate. In the distance, he could see the white gleam of the Epcot Center. "Disney World?" he asked in a little voice, pointing.
"Yeah," Lance replied, "we'll have to go soon. Have you ever been?" Burke shook his head, flooded with memories of things he had never gotten to do.
"Don't worry. We'll have plenty of time to see the sights."
Turning onto a street running through a gated neighborhood, Burke gawked at the houses they passed. As if they were the rusty trucks back home, BMWs were parked casually along the street, and kids ran through verdant, manicured lawns. The Suburban swung into a circle drive, deftly maneuvering between other cars, stopping before an ornate house. "Honey," Chris snickered, "we're home."
Feeling like the country cousin, Burke lagged behind as they tromped into the foyer. His breath was taken away as he stared around, out of place among the simple splendor. Chris led him up the grand staircase, and down a hallway. He pointed out rooms as the walked, finally stopping in the doorway of a barren bedroom. "This one is yours. I warned you that it wasn't ready yet. We'll have to go shopping to buy furniture and stuff. I could have done it, but I didn't know exactly what you'd like."
"Put a couple of blankets on the floor and I'm happy," Burke replied. "It'll save you money."
"We'll talk about that later, but, for now, we're just going to put you in one of the guest rooms. I would suggest Lance's since it's probably the cleanest."
"My room is clean!" Justin protested, pretending to be hurt.
"Then where will Lance sleep?"
"At my house. It's only a couple of miles away." Burke's things were laid beside the bed, then they went back downstairs.
JC disappeared for a moment, but returned with a tray full of glasses, passing out drinks. "Thanks, JC."
"I thought I told you, my friends call me Josh. And since you're family now, I think you more than count."
Burke blushed. "Alright."
Chris cleared his throat, patting the coach beside him. Burke sat down, carefully placing his cup on a coaster so as not to leave rings on the beautiful coffee table. "I want to get this out of the way before we do anything else. We need to talk about what is going to happen here." Burke nodded solemnly. "This is your home now, Burke, and that makes me happy. I've gotten to know you, and I know you are an amazing kid. I'm lucky to count you among my best friends. At the same time, I am your guardian. It's going to be hard for me to remember that there are times when I'm going to have to stop being your friend and start worrying about what is best for you. I don't want to be your parent, but sometimes I'll be close. No matter what role I have to play at a certain time, I want you to know that I still love you, even when I'm being a hard ass."
"OK."
"I want you to be able to tell me anything. I've only had to do this grown-up thing with Justin and Lance, but they were pretty easy to keep tabs on. I need to know what you are thinking, Burke. That way I can do whatever I need to in order to help you. My door is always open to you, no matter what time or how busy I seem to be. You have a problem or something, I'm here. Are you with me so far?"
"Yes sir."
"Ugh! Don't start that! My name is Chris. I have the feeling, with these jokers around, that you'll come up with something else pretty quick. But until then, please don't call me sir."
"Call him old man," Justin snickered, earning a pillow smacked across his face.
"Now the rules. You will have a couple of chores to do. Make your bed, keep your room picked up, and help out with general stuff. You don't have to clean the whole house, or worry about keeping everything running smoothly. You're only seventeen. That's too young to have the pressure of running a household. Schoolwork goes without saying. We'll discuss a curfew for being out when that time comes. Lastly, money. I know that is a big concern for you."
"I don't want you to go without anything just because of me."
A smile broke out on the man's face. "Burke, think about who you are talking to. Within reason, anything you want will be yours. I'm going to give you a monthly allowance for you to use as you wish. And if I say no to something, I don't want you to go around asking these guys. Understand?"
"Yes. But, Chris, you don't have to go through all this trouble just for me."
"Of course I don't. No one made me sign my name on the guardianship papers. I choose to take care of you. Look at it this way. You're doing me a favor by letting me do this."
"How?"
"One day I will want to start a family, and you are giving me a taste of fatherhood. If it causes me too many gray hairs, I'll know what not to do!" They all snickered. "But honestly, Burke, you are part of this family. We're all here for you. If there is ever something you don't feel comfortable talking to me about, you go to one of these guys. Just as long as you talk about it with someone."
Burke scanned the smiling faces around the room. He couldn't see one trace of uncertainty or deceit, and that made him wish he had been with them all his life. "Alright!" Joey said, clapping his hands. "Now that the serious stuff is out of the way, it's time for fun!"
Burke was a little wary, not knowing if what he would call fun was the same as their perceptions. After all, friends or not, these were millionaires and he was just a kid from the boondocks. "Relax," Lance said soothingly, "we're just going to have a cook-out, nothing major." Burke's tense shoulders slumped in relief.
Justin and Joey fetched steaks from the stainless steel refrigerator, and took them outside to grill. Though they told him to sit back and take it easy, Burke wriggled his way into helping make a salad. Every time someone would pass behind him, they would squeeze the back of his neck affectionately. Once lunch was ready, they gathered around the picnic table on the deck. Lance led them in a short prayer, then all six guys fell upon the food as if they hadn't eaten in ages. Burke shrank within himself when his friends started talking about business things, feeling meager and out of place. Seeing him pulling away, Joey easily maneuvered the conversation to a topic Burke could join in on.
"Your new parental is mean," Lance joked, pretending to glare at Chris. "He wants to deny you something every boy should have."
"I said we'd talk about it after things settle down, Lansten. It would be a little much just now."
Burke's interest was piqued, "What?"
"He wants to wait a while before Lance buys you a puppy," Justin smirked, not wanting to be left out of the ribbing.
Burke smiled, then shifted to a pout. "That won't do any good, Burke. We'll talk about it when you get settled in." The boy stuck his tongue out.
"I know a lady that breeds malamutes. I've already put in a standing order for one. All you have to do is get Christopher to say yes."
Burke rested his head on his hands, looking at them. "Thank you," he muttered.
"For what?"
His hands flit about, gesturing to the area around him. "All of this. Taking me in, being nice to me. It means more to me than you'll ever know."
"Our pleasure, little man," Joey grinned, his eyes moist.
As the afternoon and evening wore on, the singers bombarded Burke with questions, finding out his past, interests, and subtle personality traits. With every new discovery made, Burke felt freer, adding little points without having them drug from him. His voice dropped to a monotone whisper when he spoke of bad things, then perked up when describing the positive. Though he told them everything they wanted to know, and then some, he kept one thing hidden. Lisa confessed that she had not said anything about his sexuality, figuring it to be his personal business. Being gay was something he could not betray. These men would hate him, shove him away. Burke would be treated like trash. The silent voice, the one sneaking in now and again to give its own deprecating words, added one thought. Trash like he really was. Burke shook his head, driving the voice back to its dark hiding place. He knew he wasn't trash, but he also knew what would happen if the guys found out he was gay. He would carry that secret with him, burying it until they would never find out.
"You've had a long, full day, dude," Justin said, awakening him. "We're gonna head out. If you want, we'll come over and help you pick out furniture and stuff for your bedroom." His voice was more than slightly hopeful.
"Sure Justin, I'd like that. If Chris doesn't mind, of course."
"I don't mind if you can handle their ugly mugs," the man laughed.
"Then it's all good," Joey chuckled. "Give us a call in the morning." Chris and Burke walked them to the door. One by one, they clutched Burke to their chests, welcoming him to their family.
"We should probably turn in Burke. You don't know, but I've been shopping with them a million times. We're going to need our rest! Go ahead and take a shower, if you want. I already made sure there were sheets and stuff on the bed." They parted ways in the hall, each going to their own room. "Love you, Burke."
He did a double take, not sure if he had heard right. "Love you too, Chris," he stammered, ducking into the bedroom. He gathered up his pajamas and went to the bathroom, stepping into the warm water of a shower. He was exhausted, mentally and emotionally, the spray calming his tense body. Dried and dressed for bed, he crawled underneath the light blanket, pulling it up to his chin. A dozen different sounds reached his ears as he stared up at the stucco ceiling, all new and distracting. Orlando sounds, he told himself, tying to dismiss them. His thoughts were centered around the new place he found himself, the changes that had occurred in such a short period of time. Most of all, he thought about the men who had called him family. Before he had known them, Burke imagined the friendship he might have with them. Never once did he picture himself walking around a mall or talking in a living room. In his mind, Burke had barely distinguished between them as five members of a group and being individuals. Each man popped into his head, different from the one before or after. He envisioned the beaming grins and giggling laughter Justin turned on him, the glow of understanding shining in Lance's eyes. Chris' gentle, reassuring pats, Joey's voracious hugs, and Josh's little affirmations.
Burke nestled further into the pillows, a smile creeping across his lips. This was his family and home.
Always an early riser, Burke peeked out of his room, hearing nothing stirring in the house. He crept into the kitchen, and glanced at the microwave clock. It was only a quarter 'til seven. He hadn't thought to ask Chris what time he usually woke up, but didn't want to do anything to make that time come too soon. Reclining onto the plush couch in the den, Burke flipped on the television, turning the volume low enough that he could just make out the words, and found a local morning show. He watched the news reports intently, wanting to know everything that was going on in his new home. A story about pulling an alligator from a backyard pool made him dash for the deck, cautiously searching the lawn for a giant, man-eating monster. Satisfied they were safe, he sat back down, still worrying that a huge lizard would find it's way to him. Burke found it amazing, with all the celebrities he had heard lived in the area, no one was mentioned. If he had been back home, the reporters would be talking about seeing them at the local gas station. His stomach growling and Katie Couric giggling on the TV, Burke went to the kitchen, hoping to find something to eat. He decided to fix breakfast for he and Chris, and pulled things from the fridge. Just as a pot of coffee finished brewing, Chris, his hair standing in wild spikes, waddled in. Burke rushed to find a mug, and slid a steaming cup in front of him. "Morning, Burke. Sleep well?" "Yeah. I'm fixing breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" "Fried hard. How long have you been up?" "About two hours. Do you really have alligators that get into people's swimming pools?" Chris laughed, clutching his stomach. "It's been known to happen. Lance had some in the pond behind his house, but they keep them cleaned out. Don't worry, the fence keeps them out of the yard." He chuckled when Burke sighed, obviously relieved. "I guess I never thought about how different it was down here. You all have, what? Bears and mountain lions?" Burke snorted. "Not where I live. We have snakes and spiders, deer and raccoons. Oh, and opossums. Lots of them." "Do people really eat them?" "Eeww! Maybe some people, but not me! That's gross!" Burke turned to the stove, and cracked two eggs into a skillet. He broke the yolks, standing back as the hot oil sputtered and spewed. When the eggs were done, he flopped them on a plate beside several slices of bacon and toast. "Here you go. Want something besides coffee to drink?" "No, thank you, but you better pour yourself a glass of milk." Burke wrinkled his nose. "There's chocolate syrup in the door of the fridge." Happier, he made himself a glass. "I hope you don't do this every morning or I'll have to go on a diet!" "That would be bad. What time should we call the guys?" "Not for another hour or so. Josh needs all the sleep he can get or he's grumpy." "I am not," Josh spoke from the doorway, walking in. "I just let myself in. Joey rode over with me." "Morning, treasure troll. Morning, little man. Ooh! Breakfast!" "Good morning, Joey. Want some?" Burke chuckled, fixing more eggs and bacon. "I'm going to kidnap you and take you home with me," Joey moaned, his words slurred by a mouthful of food. Burke smiled. "Just wait until I make biscuits and gravy." "That's the day I'm going to take you home with me," Lance said, coming into the room, stopping at the counter to pour himself a cup of coffee. "Should I make some for Justin too?" "Nah, if he gets here while we're still eating, he can have some cereal or something. Did you get yourself some?" "Nope, I don't eat breakfast most of the time." Chris fixed his eyes on Burke. "You're going to start. You're too thin." Burke started to open his mouth to argue. "And if you want to argue about it, I'll call Joey's mom and see what she thinks about it." His eyebrow arched, a dare. Burke grabbed a piece of toast and bit into it. "Good boy." "Dude, you know my mom is going to be constantly sending food over here. She's gonna get one look at you, Burke, and make fattening you up her newest goal in life! You're taller than Chris, but you're only like 130 pounds." "120," Burke corrected softly. "Leave him alone, you guys," Josh stepped in. "As long as he eats well, he can be whatever weight he wants to be." "And skinny speaks!" Lance chuckled. Burke blushed, knowing this would be a bone of contention with them after he told them he had problems with his weight. "Why don't you two go get dressed. We'll clean up and give Justin a call." Burke and Chris went upstairs to change. Digging through his suitcase, Burke started to feel self-conscious. His cheap Wal-Mart clothes would be a disgrace to people who dressed so nicely. He sat there, trying to find something that looked nice. "Just put something on, and don't worry about it," Josh spoke. Burke craned his neck to see the man leaning in the doorway. "It's just that-" "I know. You're worried about us being ashamed to be seen with you. I'll show you why it doesn't matter where your clothes are from. Do you have a black t-shirt?" Burke pulled one from his bag. "OK. You have a black shirt, I have a black shirt. Can you tell the difference between them?" "No." "The only difference is the price we paid for them. It's like that shampoo commercial. If you get the same results and no one can tell that yours is less expensive, it doesn't matter. In fact, it makes you smarter than me." Burke stared at him, unsure but trusting. "Go ahead and get dressed, we'll be downstairs." Burke pulled on a pair of denim shorts, the black t-shirt, since he already had it out, and his tennis shoes. Walking into the living room, he waited for someone to tell him to change. No one seemed to care, Josh only nodding. "Justin should be here in about ten minutes. Any idea of where we're going?" "The furniture store over on Twelfth Avenue. It has nice stuff, and we can get bedding there too." As soon as the last person arrived, they piled once more into Lance's SUV, speeding through traffic to downtown Orlando. "Those sunglasses look good," Josh winked. The air conditioned store was a welcome reprieve from the sticky air outside. "I don't know how you all manage to breathe in this place," Burke groaned, thumping his chest. "Just like every other normal person," Chris joked. "What do you want to look at first? Bedroom groups or bedding?" "Furniture, I guess. That way we only have to pick out stuff that matches." The task proved to be anything but simple. Burke pointed out styles he liked, but walked away, horrified, when he saw the price tags. "Can't we go someplace else," he mumbled. "Why? I thought you were finding things you liked." "I am, but-" "Burke, it's ok. If it helps any, I won't let you spend more than Justin did on his bedroom furniture. Ok?" "How much was that?" The next youngest man grinned. "Don't worry, I'll let you know if you get anywhere close! Now, which set do you want?" "I just can't spend Chris' money like this! It's not right, especially after he's given me a place to live and everything." Joey stroked his thin goatee. "Fine. If your are worried about Chris spending his money, we won't spend it." He motioned a clerk over. "How may I help you gentlemen today?" Joey pulled Burke up beside him. "This is my little brother, and we're shopping for his new bedroom. He, since he's the best kid in the whole world, is dragging his feet. I was wondering if you could help us find something that works on a modest budget." "Of course, sir." Joey whispered something in the man's ear. "I'm certain we can find something to fit your needs. Let's look around, but make sure you tell me if a particular group catches your eye." "What did you tell him?" Burke whispered as they trailed the salesman. "I told him how much I was looking to spend. Since you don't want Chris' money, this one's on me. And there's no arguing allowed." Burke stopped in his tracks, on the verge of being angry. He would have been except for the warm tingling in his heart. "Come on, little man." He tugged on Burk's hand. "The dark wood one is my favorite," Burke mentioned after they had toured the store. "It looks like a sleigh bed." "Ah, a fine choice, sir. Our Dominican collection." The man flipped through a catalogue, turning to the pages that showed the bed and its accompanying pieces. "This is the entire collection. We can pick out the pieces that you want. What size bed would you like." "Twin," Burke said at the same time Joey said, "Queen." They playfully sneered at one another. "Full," Chris offered, "a compromise." Burke chose two nightstands and lamps, a dresser with mirror, and a bookcase. He looked at Joey to see if he had bought too much. "Are you sure you don't want anything else? You're still under budget." "This is fine. We still have to find a mattress and sheets." Picking out a mattress and box springs turned into a circus, all six collapsing atop the displays before hopping up and going to the next one. Justin moaned in pleasure as he sank into one. "This is *nice*!" Burke laid down beside him, springing away as if he were bit by a snake. "Too soft!" "Uh oh, we have another Joshua," Lance grimaced. "Be quiet, albino. Firm beds keep you from get back aches." Burke, with Josh's input, finally decided on a mattress, Joey declaring it to be hard as a rock. "Now bedding," Chris spoke, pointing toward the back wall. "This is not Lance's house, so don't worry about coordinating with the rest of the house." Burke poked through the displays, making little comments about the color, texture, or fluffiness of the comforters. "This one!" he cheered, pulling out a bed-in-a-bag. It was a rich navy jacquard comforter worked with gold fleur dis lis. "Pretty," Josh smiled, pleased that Burke had picked something in his favorite color. Though an upscale store, Justin found a cart somewhere and proceeded to drag Burke through the accent section, tossing throw pillows, candles and holders, lampshades, and a several fake plants in. They found two sheet sets that matched well, and curtains. "Unless there is a certain kind you need," Chris stated as they made their way to the front, "we'll get regular pillows at Target." Burke's jaw dropped in surprise. "Target?" Joey ruffled the boys hair. "Yes, Target. We don't order toilet paper from Calvin Klein!" "I do," Justin smirked, "and my paper towels are Versace!" Burke's cheeks flamed. He hadn't thought that they would go to a discount department store. "Is there anything else?" Lance jumped in, saving Burke from any more embarrassment. "We can get paint at the store too, so I don't think so." "This is too much guys." "No it's not. Even with paint and stuff, you are still have money to spare. This could be like one of those decorating on a budget shows or something. I'm proud of you for being so responsible, Burke." Joey beamed at the boy. "Then let's get out of here." Chris set up a delivery time for Burke's furniture, Joey handing over his credit card to pay for everything. They packed the trunk, and left to get the painting supplied. Burke, after okaying it with Chris, decided to do the walls in an antique gold to bring out the color in his new blanket. They picked up brushes and tarps, then went back to Chris' home. After a quick lunch of ordered in pizza, they set to painting the walls. Though it was threatened, Lance kept a splatter fight from breaking out. They had fun doing it, Burke's ratty work shirt ending up autographed in yellow paint. He giggled, saying that it was a one and only, promising to frame it later. "Are you sure you don't want us to come over and help get things set up when the stuff is delivered?" "I'm sure, Joe. Chris and I can manage. Besides, the delivery people can haul everything up the stairs. It'll be a surprise for you, since you bought it all." "Alright. Tomorrow is Friday, and my mom wants us all to come over for supper. How about I swing by and pick you all up?" Burke nodded. Joey gave him his trademark bear hug before he walked out the door. "Oh, by the way, just in case you are wondering, your budget today was $15,000. See you later, little man." Grinning evilly, he hopped into Josh's jeep and drove away. Burke, sputtering stupidly, watched the tail lights vanish into the night.Thank you for reading this chapter of A Light in the Tunnel. I'd greatly appreciate hearing what you thought about it. As much fun as I have writing this, the truer pleasure comes from your enjoyment. You can reach me at cameronwriter@hotmail.com I will be sure to get back to everyone who writes. And a special request for those of you who do drop me a line: I want to make a map of where you readers are from, so if you feel comfortable in doing so, please tell me the vague area in which you live. Thanks!
In this Season of family and festivities, I wish you and yours the brightest and best. Happy Holidays!
Always,
Cameron