Life's Journey
The story is a work of fiction and has no basis in reality.
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Life's Journey
**Chapter 7
**
Who are you?
"I have to go, I have to see him. MOM PLEASE!" I cried. "David, there isn't any way that you can go, I can't lift you."
"I'll break these casts and crawl if I have to. I will go to Sean." I demanded.
"I'll call the neighbors." She said as she walked out of the room.
Sean was hurt and no one in the world was going to keep me from seeing him. I was going to go to the hospital. I am going to be with him. I am going to be there for him.
"Oh God, please let him be ok. Please God." I prayed.
"Ok, the neighbors will be right over." Mom said.
It took them forever to get there and get me into the car. I didn't feel a thing as they moved me. All I could think about was Sean. The drive to the hospital took forever too. As we drove up to the hospital, I told mom to take me to the emergency entrance. I rolled the window down and yelled at a couple of orderlies that were standing outside.
"Get me a wheelchair and get it now." I demanded. They just stood there looking at me. "I said NOW!"
They both immediately went inside and came out with a wheelchair. "What's the problem?" One of them asked.
"Just get me out of this car and into the emergency room."
I wasn't taking any shit from these guys. The hopped to it and got me in the chair and wheeled me into the hospital.
"Ok, where is Sean Simon." I asked the next nurse I saw.
"He's in ICU, but you have to be immediate family to see him." She replied.
"I am immediate family. Take me to him."
"I'll call an orderly." She said as she walked away.
"NO, DAMN IT! NOW! Take me to Sean Simon."
She turned and looked back at me, she saw how pissed I was and decided to do it herself. As we approached ICU, I saw my father waiting.
"Dad, what the hell happened? And where is Sean?" I asked.
"Son, please calm down. Sean is doing ok. He isn't out of danger but he is alive."
"Tell me what happened."
My father looked at me. I wasn't crying or talking fast. I was in control and everyone would do as I said or there would be hell to pay. The wrath of David would destroy whoever stood between him and his love.
"Son, I found Sean along the road to school. He has been beaten badly. There are some serious head injuries. It looks like someone took a baseball bat to him." He said, tears streaming down his face.
"I want to see him." I said calmly.
My father pushed me into the room. Sean was lying in a bed. His head covered. Tubes running out of his arms. He looked like he was dead. I lost it. The shock of the whole thing finally hit me and I broke down. My father wrapped me in his arms and held me tight. Not saying a word.
"Dad? He is going to be ok, right?" I blubbered.
"Yes, David, he will be ok. With the love you have for him and the strength you will give him, he will be ok. God will help both of you."
"Dad, thank you. I love you." I said.
"I know son. I love you too."
Dad pushed me next to Sean's bed so I could be close. I sat there and held his hand. I could feel that he was still there. He was alive and he would be ok. I knew it, but there was something wrong. Something that didn't feel right. As I was trying to figure out what was going on, my mother and Sean's parents came into the room. I looked up at them with tears in my eyes. Both of our mothers were crying. Sean's father was stern and in control until he saw Sean, then he broke down and started crying like a baby. He came to me and hugged me.
"David, I am a terrible person. I have made a mistake. Can you forgive me?" He cried.
I could feel his pain. "Yes, I forgive you and so does Sean. He loves you a lot."
We stayed embraced like that for the longest time. Eventually it was a family hug. My parents and Sean's parents were all hugging and holding each other. We were all like that when Dr. Pat came in.
"Hello everyone. I do have some news for you. It looks like Sean is going to be ok. We don't know how much brain damage has been done and we will only be able to tell when he regains consciousness, but he is strong." Turning to me he continued. "David, I would like for you to stay here with him. It will be good for him to have you nearby."
They moved another bed into the room and got me settled in. I was close to Sean but I couldn't touch him. I finally fell asleep, having nightmares all night.
Sean and I were being chased by a bunch of guys with baseball bats. We ran and ran. They were getting closer, I was pulling Sean, urging him to run faster but he couldn't do it. They were getting closer. I screamed as one of them swung the bat at Sean's head.......
"David, wake up."
"David." The voice said.
"I don't want to wake up." I replied.
"David, I would like to take some x-rays of your legs and arm to see if we can get the casts off.." Said Pat.
"Oh, Pat. That would be great."
"Ok, these orderlies are going to take you to x-ray now." He added.
They did the x-ray thing and soon I was sitting having the casts sawn off.
"We will do a little physical therapy and you should be as good as new." The nurse told me.
Instead of going on with the next five weeks, I'll condense it, besides it was fairly boring. Physical therapy was real painful, but I was gaining strength. Sean was improving but he wasn't coming out of his coma. I stayed with him, sleeping in the same room. Sometimes falling asleep in bed with him. It was great to be able to move again. My strength was coming back and I was able to get around on my own now.
I would sit by his bed and talk to him. Hoping that he would wake up and give me a great big smile. The smile that causes me to loose control, my knees buckle, my heart races, I get dizzy. Oh, how I would love to see that smile again.
News of what had happened was slowly trickling in to the hospital. I knew that neither Sean or I would be safe in this town again. We had to figure out what to do. Where could we go and still be safe. This was too much for a fifteen year old to handle. My parents were doing ok. There wasn't much backlash because of me, but Sean's parents were a different story. His father was the minister and he was supposed to be against homosexuality. Since that first night in the hospital room, he had taken a different path. He was teaching acceptance of Gay's. He was teaching that Jesus loves everyone and that it was not our job to judge others. There was a campaign to have him removed as the minister. He could loose his job because of all that has happened.
Why are people so narrow minded? Why can't they just let others live and be happy? I mean, I don't criticize heterosexuals. I don't call them names and ridicule them for loving the opposite sex. I started praying a lot. I was asking God why he was allowing this to happen? Why would he let people do things to others that hurt so bad? Why couldn't he just tell everyone to leave us alone and let us love each other?
Then one day Sean's eyes opened, just like that. No signs at all. He just woke up and looked at me.
"Hi baby, did you finally get enough rest?" I asked beaming from ear to ear. "Who are you?" He replied.
"Sean, I'm David." I replied completely confused.
"David who?" He asked.
"The David you are in love with. The David you have known for over two years." I said with tears running down my face.
"I don't know any David." He said with confusion in his face.
Shit, he didn't know who I was. He couldn't remember. I grabbed the call button and pressed it. The nurse came in and immediately called Pat. When he arrived, he asked me to leave the room for a while. Shit, oh God, what has happened to Sean. He doesn't remember who I am. The boy I was in love with and who was in love with me doesn't remember any of it. I can't live like this. I can't go on without him in my life. He was, is all that mattered to me. I sat in the waiting room until Pat came out.
"David, it looks like Sean has suffered some brain damage. It doesn't seem real serious but he has lost his memory of the last two years. He could get it back, but then he may not." He explained.
"Pat, I cant' go on without Sean. I don't have anything to live for without him in my life."
"David, it is always possible that he will regain his memories. Just have some patience and lets see how he improves."
"Yes sir." Was all I could say.
My life was over. I didn't have Sean and he was what was most important to me. Without him in my life, I was not going to be able to survive. This town hates me. The kids in school hate me. Why go on living like this. I was like this for the next two weeks. I didn't care about anything else in the world. I didn't eat. I didn't do homework. I had quit living.
They put me back into the hospital again. I had lost weight and I was passing out. Everyone tried talking to me but I wouldn't listen. I had given up on life. One night when no one was looking, I stumbled to the nurse's station and found a bottle of pills and took them all.
"David? David, wake up."
"DAVID, WAKE UP!"
"Go away, I don't want to wake up. I want to be dead." I said. "DAVID, DAMN IT, WAKE UP."
"NO! I will not live without Sean." I cried.
"You don't have to live without Sean, you can start over."
I opened my eyes and saw Pat standing over me.
"NO!" I yelled.
"David, Sean could get his memory back. You need to give it some time."
"I don't want to live. I can't live without Sean."
"David, you have to live. You need to be here for Sean, he needs your help."
"How? He doesn't even remember who I am. How could I help him? He doesn't remember that-that we love each other." I broke down.
"He could if you will just give him a chance. The two of you have something very special between you. A love for each other that can be found again. It is up to you to help Sean either remember what he felt for you or build that love again."
I didn't see how it was possible but I really needed Sean in my life. If only what Pat was saying could be true. Could he love me again? I didn't know if I had the strength to do it. Just being Sean's friend again would be hard, almost impossible. How could I keep my hands off of him? How could I not make love to him?
"I don't know if I can do it Pat. I don't think I am strong enough." I pleaded.
"You can David and I will be here to help you when you need it." He said.
"Pat, can you take me to him?"
"Of course." He smiled.
Pat helped me get up, I was a little dizzy but not real bad. We went down the hall to Sean's room. He was awake when we entered.
"Hi Pat." Sean said.
"Hey Sean. This is David, he is a very good friend of mine that I would like you to get to know. I think the two of you will get along very well. You have a lot in common."
"Hi David, nice to meet you." He said.
"H-hi Sean." I said, barely being able to keep from breaking down right there.
"You do look familiar, have we met before?" Sean asked.
I looked to Pat who nodded his head yes.
"Ah, Ah, y-yes we have." I answered.
"I don't remember but there are a lot of things I don't remember since the accident. But that's ok. I have this feeling that we will become good friends." He said with a smile.
Oh my God, I almost melted on the spot. There was that smile of his. My knees buckled and if Pat hadn't caught me, I would have fallen down.
"David, are you ok?" Pat asked.
"Yes, just a little weak is all." I answered.
"Ok, there is an extra bed in this room, would you like to move in here with Sean so the two of you can get acquainted?" He asked.
"That would be great." Sean said.
"S-sure." I agreed.
I just sat there looking at Sean, he would look over at me from time to time and smile. He kept asking me questions about myself.
"David, I have this feeling that we know each other. Can you tell me what I don't remember?" He asked.
"Well, we were best friends."
"How long did we know each other?"
"F-for over two years." I answered.
"Wow, that's really strange. I don't remember any of it. Two years? Man that is something and we were best friends?"
"Yes, we spent all of our spare time together. We would go swimming together, sleep over at each other's houses. This last summer we were together all of the time. There wasn't a minute in the day that we were apart." I said as the tears started again.
"David, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" He asked.
"S-Sean, we were best friends, actually we were the only friends each of us had. I, I can't talk about it right now."
"Why not David? I think it is neat that we were best friends. I really like you and I hope that I will remember soon. But I don't know when that will happen." He looked at me with compassion in his eyes.
"Sean, just have patience with me. It really upset me when you got hurt. I thought I had lost my best friend." I answered.
"Ok, David. But you will have to tell me someday. Ok?" Sean asked.
"Sure, I will, I promise." I said.
Sean and I talked like that for the next few days until the doctor decided that he could be released. He went home with his parents. It was killing me that I couldn't be with him all of the time now. I just wanted to be near him. Just to be able to look at him was giving me strength to live. Something had to be done. Something had to change. We didn't go back to school. Our parents were afraid that someone would hurt us again. They arranged for us to be tutored at home. My mother would take me to Sean's three days a week. Even though Sean was in a different grade than I was, we were able to have the same tutor. I was catching up with Sean, as he couldn't remember a lot of what he had learned in school the last two years. Soon, I was doing the same work that he was. We would help each other with our homework, giving us more time together.
One day, we were alone reading an English assignment. It was a book report. You know, one of those boring old books about love. Well, they weren't as boring as they had been in the past. Now that I had experienced love and lost that love, I could relate to what the story was about. I kept looking at Sean as I read. I still love him, I still need him in my life. I have to do something to help him remember that he loves me too. So, I leaned over and kissed him, full on the lips.
"What the hell?" Sean yelled. "Why did you do that?"
"Because I love you Sean." I said with tears streaming down my face.
"Y-y-you love me?" He asked.
"Sean, I love you more than life itself. You are all that matters to me."
"David, I think I love you too." He said.
"Oh God, you don't know how much I have wanted to hear you say that." I cried.
I grabbed him and kissed him again. He was a little resistant at first but slowly he relaxed and let me probe his mouth with my tongue. He started reciprocating with his tongue. Our passion growing. Suddenly he gasped and pushed me back. He had a frightened look on his face and he completely broke down. He sobbed, cried and yelled out. His mother came running into the room.
"Sean, what's wrong? Sean, I'm here, tell me what is wrong?" She begged.
He didn't answer. He just kept crying and he was shaking.
"David, help me get him into his room and in bed." She ordered.
We got Sean into his bed and I laid next to him, holding him as he sobbed.
"I'm going to call Dr. Pat." Sean's mother told me as she left the room.
"Sean, I'm here. Everything will be ok. I'm here for you." I assured him.
He cried himself to sleep. It took Pat an hour to get there. It seems that he was in the middle of an operation when Sean's mother called.
"David, come out in the hall so we can talk." He asked quietly.
"David, tell me everything that happened before Sean broke down."
"Well, we were reading and I just had to kiss him. I couldn't help myself. So I did. He-he was startled but then he said that he thought he loved me. So, I kissed him again and told him that I loved him. Then he got really scared and started crying and yelling." I said.
"Ahhhh, that answers everything." Pat said.
"What?" I asked.
"Well, if I am correct in my assumption, it looks like Sean got his memory back. Everything that has happened to him suddenly came flowing back and it scared him. Not only his love for you but the trauma that the two of you have gone through."
Now I understood. I guess that would be a shock to suddenly know that you had been almost run over by a car and then beaten with a bat, just because you loved someone. Then to realize that the person that you were kissing was that love and that love was another boy. Wow, that could be overwhelming.
"I need to talk to Sean alone for a while. Why don't you go into the living room and I will come out and talk to you when I am finished." Pat said.
To be continued......
Copyright S. John Holder 2000
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