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Life's Illusions - 10 years on - Chapter 49
She'd known for a few months now, something was definitely not right.
There had been episodes, time Lenny couldn't account for, it had worried her.
She'd seen her doctors, been shocked to hear their findings, the prognosis, swearing them all to the utmost secrecy.
And then, so suddenly, only three months later, just as they'd predicted, without warning, it came to a conclusion.
PJ had risen early, slipping out of their bed and into his dressing gown.
On the rooftop terrace in Torremolinos, their nest for all these years, he was enjoying the morning sun as it rose slowly over the horizon, the temperature easing slowly upwards as he sipped his first coffee.
Lenny was late, he'd have to remember to razz her on that, she was getting lazy, that's what he'd tell her, wind her up until he couldn't keep it together anymore, then they'd both dissolve into laughter.
He heard the door at the bottom of the stairs close, but it wasn't Lenny who appeared on the stairs, it was Leo, and there were tears coursing down his face.
He'd been in the large lounge when he'd heard the scream from the maid who'd delivered Lenny's morning tea.
PJ didn't need to ask, didn't need to be told, in that very moment, the light went out in his world, no matter how bright the sun, his world would be darker now forever.
Life would never be the same again, it was over, life's illusion had played out, all happiness, all joy, was gone.
Lenny had died in her sleep, slipped peacefully away.
The days going forward were a blur for PJ.
They all arrived, family, truly related or not, from around the world they came, nothing would have stopped them, she was their Mother, Grandmother, Great Grandmother, they didn't need to be related, the link, the love, was that strong.
Predictably, one of the first to arrive was Woody.
Like PJ, this was something he had never ever contemplated, that his mother had actually been mortal, that she might not always be in his life.
He walked up to his Poppa and they hugged, no words were spoken, neither was capable, they just sobbed in each other's arms, their sense of loss completely overwhelming.
For PJ it was to be a scenario repeated so many times, with Beth, with Pete, but most poignant was Billy.
Almost carried in by Jay and Jolly, he was utterly devastated, telling anyone who would listen how Lenny had saved him, given him a purpose, a family, a life.
It was a feeling shared by the entire wider family.
She was the head of the family, every decision involving family was made by Lenny, she knitted the very web which bound them all together.
There grew up a discussion, at times almost an argument, about where Lenny should be laid to rest, in Torremolinas, in New York, in The Hamptons, in England, in France.
When PJ announced the funeral plans no one contested his statement.
There would be a service at the Church in Torremolinas, where Lenny had married PJ, where the children had been christened, where Pauly had received his last service, her body would then be cremated and her ashes would travel to Montclair, to be buried in Chateau Montclair's private cemetery.
These were Lenny's wishes, they would be honoured.
The world press took her passing as a significant event.
If there was ever a negative article no one heard about it.
The one which summed them all up came from one of the most prestigious daily publications in England.
It wrote.
'The Passing of a Wonderful, Caring, Angelic Matriarch' 'The World is in a Genuinely Poorer Place for this Sad Loss'
For PJ it was like marking time, his whole being recognised the immense hole in his life, he no longer had a purpose, no reason to get up in the morning, no reason to exist.
That was, until Berto came to see him.
Berto couldn't pretend, couldn't play act, what you saw was what you got.
"It's not fair, we had so much fun when we went out, and we did it every time on twenty euro's, she made that the limit, she always said, if you could afford to pay your bills, the rest was surplus, it should be put to good use helping those less fortunate, if you don't do that then you fail life's biggest test, you're a fraud".
Berto was silent for a few minutes, PJ didn't say anything, he could sense the boy wasn't finished, just thinking.
"I miss her, I loved her, you miss her as well, we all do, there's no one to do all the things she used to do now, she'd be sad about that".
Again he paused before blurting out.
You should do them, she'd want you to do them, I'll help you, I'm not very bright, but she always said I give amazing hugs, you can have one anytime you need one, she needed them all the time, you can have my money like she did, I still want to help others like she taught me, I just don't know how".
It had been a jumble of mixed up thoughts that had tumbled from Berto's mouth, but to PJ it was Lenny telling him what he had to do.
He had to continue her work, organising the family, head up her charities, help the less fortunate.
PJ said only seven words in response to Berto.
"I think I need one of those hugs right now".
Berto had him wrapped into a hug before he finished the sentence.
PJ promised Berto that he would indeed carry on Lenny's good works, but only on condition that Berto was available for hugs.
Back in Torremolinas a few weeks later, in the Penthouse apartment on top of Thorn Plaza, PJ had made a decision and sent for Josef and Carry.
It had been Jacqueline who had prompted him, seeing him sitting in the gardens of Chateau Montclair, she saw a man who was lost, a man without purpose.
"PJ, I feel the loss just like you, but you've lost so much more, she wasn't just my Mother in Law, she was my friend, she taught me to cope with the pressures of being wealthy, she taught me humility, compassion, understanding, I lost so much when she died, but you, I worry so much about you, I know how closely entwined you two were, come here PJ, live at Chateau Montclair, be close to us, close to Woody, he needs you now, just as much as you need him, I'm asking because I know Woody won't, he won't put pressure on you, but he's hurting just like you".
Over the weeks that followed Jacqueline continued to ask, to beg, to implore, and finally he'd realised, what she was suggesting was what he wanted.
Josef and Carry came to see him as he'd requested, bringing Reece with them.
"I don't know what you'll think of what I have to say, but I'm asking you to consider my offer seriously before you answer".
They all nodded in agreement, eager to hear whatever it was PJ had to say, so he continued.
"You know Leo's vacated the small apartment and gone to live with Aly and Bo at The Inn at Montclair, well I've made a decision too, I'm going to settle at The Chateau with Woody and Jacqueline, I don't feel comfortable here anymore, but it was the first home Lenny, your Grandmother and I, created together, it was your Poppa Pauly's childhood home, it's been the nest we, all of us, migrated back to for so many years, I can't rid myself of it, it holds so many memories, not all good, but on the whole it's seen, and been a part of, mostly everything about us as a family".
He paused to collect his thoughts, no one spoke, they didn't want to delay whatever he was going to say with questions.
"I want you guys to consider moving in here, making it your home, you'll have to put up with family arriving from time to time, but essentially it would be your home, I know you have lots of space at the Villa, but I hoped you might consider this as somewhere you can be a family with little Etta".
PJ had been nervous, he really couldn't guess how Josef and Carry might react, but he needn't have been worried, the smiles passing between them told him their answer before either of them spoke, in the end it was Josef who confirmed their decision.
"Yes please Gramps, it would be ideal for us, Poppa's been great letting us live at the Villa, but with Sofia and the boys it sometimes gets a little overwhelming, and with Sofia and Rick planning to marry they'll need space as well, so it's a perfect solution".
Carry was nodding her head enthusiastically, but none of them expected Reece's request.
"Would you guys mind if I came with you?, I thought it might be nice to give Rick, Sofia and the boys some space at the Villa, I could be out of your way in the apartment Leo and Rosa used to occupy, that's if you wouldn't mind".
It was Carry who responded this time, no more than a second after he stopped talking, she had her arms around him.
"That would be a definite yes, I can't think of anything better than having you close bye to keep an eye on us.
And so a couple of weeks later PJ was ready to officially move out of the apartment Lenny had created, the home they'd first moved into all those years ago, just before their wedding day.
Whilst his personal things, the ones he wanted to keep close, were packed into boxes and chests ready to be moved to Montclair, he'd taken to sitting alone on the roof terrace, reflecting, remembering the years they'd spent in Torremolinas, picturing Lenny, the children when Pauly had been alive, growing up there, Rosa running their household with military precision, and Gramps with Lenny's parents when they'd first viewed Thorn Plaza and this marvellous apartment that Lenny had created.
He'd been sat on the roof terrace all alone that day, looking around one last time before he was due to leave, remembering, the wonderful memories flooding back, closing his eyes, he realised he wasn't really alone after all, Lenny, Pauly, Gramps, Grama, Rosa, they were all here with him, holding out their hands, ready to lead him on.
It was late in the afternoon when Woody, sitting in the small salon at Chateau Montclair with Jacqueline, took the call from a clearly upset Reece.
"I'm so, so, sorry Woody, I found him sitting on the roof terrace, he looked so happy, I swear he was smiling, it was too late, he must have gone peacefully sometime earlier".
Woody's brain was refusing to acknowledge the awful, devastating possibility in what Reece had said,
"Who's gone, where, what are you talking about Reece, you're not making sense?".
Jacqueline was shocked, Woody's voice had raised several levels to almost hysterical, he was gripping the phone so tightly his knuckles were white, he was shaking, she could see he was upset, but she wasn't prepared for the sobbing, nor the flood of tears that began coursing down his cheeks when Reece replied.
"Your Poppa Woody, he was sat on the roof terrace and he just slipped away, he's with your Momma and Pauly now, I'm so sorry Woody".
And so, with PJ's death came the end of an era.
The End. ARB Allan
Thank you for giving me your precious time, Life's Illusions will be back in the new year.