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Life's Illusions - Book Four - Chapter 30
Juan was completely shattered, only yesterday they'd been happy, or at least he'd thought they were, so how had they have gone from that to this in just a day.
He'd been sat dwelling on events when Marcie's voice brought him out of his depressed state.
"So what, you're just going to sit there, I thought you loved him, or was I wrong?".
Juan would later admit, it had been exactly what he'd needed, but when he didn't answer, she wasn't finished.
"That wasn't a statement, it was a question, I said, I thought you loved him, or was I wrong?, that part required an answer, and it still does, so tell me, do you love him?".
She'd sat now, right opposite him, staring him in the eyes, waiting for an answer.
He answered her.
"I do love him, but what he said, it was so bitter, I had no idea he resented my past with Pierre".
She moved to sit next to him on the couch, putting an arm around his shoulders.
"And you've never said something you wish you hadn't, never said something with a bit too much force, never wished you could rewind, take it back, never bit your tongue rather than say something which your brain is screaming at you to say, oh lord, wouldn't this be a wonderful world if we were all so ruddy perfect?".
She'd stopped talking for a moment, then carried on.
"I'll let you into a secret, when Arty's mother visits us, she never misses an opportunity to tell me that I'm not doing something right, she tut, tuts, her way through the week, I assure Arty I'm not taking offence, that she's just looking out for him, but really I'm lying, because in my head I'm actually planning how many different ways I can annihilate her, how I'll dispose of the body, and once I even blurted it out, it was the worst thing I could have done, I still remember the look of pain on his face, and I'll never do it again, because Arty worships her, and I'd rather put up with her sniping than see that look of sadness on Arty's face ever again".
"You and Pierre split up for a while, did you ever regret that, regret not resolving your differences sooner, regret the time you'd wasted?".
Juan looked at her.
"I regretted it bitterly, especially after he died, in the early days I got so angry, I'd wasted time when I could have been with him, holding him, telling him how much I loved him".
Marcie smiled as she saw realisation dawn on his face.
"Yes Juan, you've been here before, I'm just trying to make you understand, you can't make the same mistake twice, because that would be just plain stupid, he's still out there, all it needs is for you to decide if you want him, if you do, then I'm asking why you are still sitting here?".
Juan turned fully, grabbed her and kissed her.
"Arty is so lucky, and so am I, I'll see you later".
And he was gone, he didn't see the tears of joy on Marcie's face.
At Ralph's apartment he used his key, indulging himself, remembering their flight back from Torremolinas, when he'd told Ralph he was afraid they'd part and never see each other again, when Ralph had slid the key across the table to him, giving him the sign he needed.
He saw him as soon as he opened the door, asleep on the crumpled bed, the little apartment a mess, testament to how upset Ralph was, he'd never normally allow this, his face, although relaxed in sleep was red and puffy from crying.
It was early morning when Ralph awoke, the sunlight streaming in hurt his eyes.
Reaching for the glass he knew he'd left on the bedside table the night before, it wasn't there.
He'd sat up, completely baffled, his mind trying to make sense of what he was seeing, his little bedsit apartment was spotless, and he knew, it hadn't been like this when he finally succumbed to a drunken sleep last night, or had it been, had he been dreaming?.
The door opened opposite him, and his alcohol fuddled mind went into turmoil, it was Juan, or was he still dreaming, was he just hoping it was Juan?.
But the voice shocked him out of his fog.
"Rise and shine lover, I come bearing Maccy D breakfast, and I might not get a lot of things right, but I know you would set aside the end of the world for a Maccy D breakfast, no conversation, just eat, I got you a Latte with double Caramel shot, just to prove I do listen, but there's a requirement, I desperately need a kiss before I hand over your breakfast".
Juan had thought humour would work, so he was almost frantic when Ralph dissolved into tears.
He dropped the food and drinks onto the bedside table, and grabbed him into a hug.
"Aren't we a pair of idiots, I love you, and I'm pretty sure you love me too, so why are we doing this, don't cry, kiss me and let's have breakfast".
Ralph was holding him like his life depended on it, he couldn't believe Juan was here.
They'd eaten a luke warm breakfast after Ralph finally let go of the man he thought he'd lost.
When they'd finally finished eating Juan spoke.
"I can't let you do this, I love you, I'm sorry, I realise my baggage is a lot to put up with, but I can't leave it behind, it's a big part of me, can we try to find a way forward that means I don't lose you?, because right now that's my worst nightmare, don't leave me, I don't think I could cope with that"
Ralph had been clinging to him.
"I'm sorry Juan, I really didn't mean what I said, it was so stupid, so hurtful, I think it's a mixture of jealousy and guilt, Pierre is this wonderful mythical being, someone I know I don't ever stand a chance of competing with, but someone I wish I'd known, and yet, in my mind I realise, if I were able to know him, I wouldn't have you, you wouldn't have even noticed me if he were still alive, then I berate myself because it almost seems I'm grateful that he's not alive, and that just leads me to more recriminations".
Ralph just stopped talking, aware he was rambling.
Throughout, Juan had just held him close, now he answered, and his voice was firm, unwavering.
"I fell in love with Pierre a long, long, time ago, and despite the fact that we separated for a part of our life, I never stopped loving him, I never have, I never will, but he's been gone for a long time, and you need to stop thinking you are competing in any way with him, I didn't fall in love with you because I was looking for a Pierre replacement, I fell in love with you because of who you are, Ralph Esse was the one who grabbed my heart, and we have a real chance for happiness so I'm trying desperately to not get it wrong. I don't accept that you and I can't work this out, I'm not standing back whilst you make decisions about our future, I want my say, I want you, don't leave me alone, I need you, come home".
Ralph's reply completely changed the course of their conversation.
"You were here during the night, you must have been, I know how much of a mess this place was in when I got into bed, why didn't you wake me?".
Juan smiled.
"You looked like you needed the rest, and you smelled like a distillery, it was a shock to see this place looking such a mess, so I set about tidying up, I think you've secretly turned me into a clean freak".
Juan stopped to think before going on.
"In truth, I wanted you to wake up not in a dark mood, I knew if this place was clean and tidy it would take you part way there, the rest was down to me, I'm hoping I succeeded".
Ralph pulled him closer.
"You did good, I'd be a fool not to listen to you wouldn't I?, we had something of an argument, which I caused, and you're the one who's gone all out to put it right, I'm sorry, and I'll make you a promise, I'll try to not constantly rate myself against Pierre".
Marcie's joy was apparent as soon as Ralph stepped into their apartment, wrapping him into a hug.
In Chicago the boys were in a whirlwind of preparations, only one week until they opened the first night of their World Tour at Madison Square Garden NYC.
Their Mini European Tour following Trevor and Dillon's wedding at Thorn House Chicago, although hailed as an immense success, had caused an outcry from their fans, fuelling cries for a World Tour.
The boys had agreed with their management company, a World Tour was a must to thank the fans for their dedication.
Their latest album was still sitting in the top ten of Album Charts in twelve countries, but best of all, nine of its eighteen tracks had reached number one in all of the countries they were visiting initially.
They'd finally agreed to start a tour in The US and then do Europe properly.
Following Europe they would have a three month break before heading to Australia and New Zealand.
They'd originally intended the Chicago and NYC concerts to be a two date event in each city, but that, along with their intentions for just about every other location rapidly went out of the window, dates had sold out within minutes of availability being launched online, and there followed an outcry from fans in every country.
What had been originally planned as a three month tour was now a six months tour.
From Chicago and NYC, where they would play four nights each, bidding farewell to their native US for six months, they would take in:
Dublin Ireland 4 nights Glasgow UK 3 nights Manchester UK 4 nights plus 1 matinee London UK 5 nights plus 1 matinee After their London concerts the boys would enjoy a few days rest at Thorn House Kensington as the guests of Junior and Daniel.
Paris France 4 nights Berlin Germany 3 nights Lisbon Portugal 2 nights Madrid Spain 4 nights After their Madrid concert the boys would enjoy a few days rest as the guests of Juan and Ralph at their Penthouse Apartment in Madrid.
Brussels Belgium 2 nights Copenhagen Denmark 2 nights Athens Greece 4 nights Rome Italy 5 nights After their final concert in Rome, where Van would join them on stage, the boys would enjoy a few days rest as the guests of Van and Reece at Gregous, their estate outside Rome.
Amsterdam Netherlands 4 nights Oslo Norway 3 nights Stockholm Sweden 3 nights Bern Switzerland 4 nights Vienna Austria 3 nights
After their last night in Vienna the boys would fly to Nice and travel to Chateau Montclair for a few days rest as the guests of Jacque and Pete before flying home to Chicago for a one month rest.
Rested they would embark on a whistle stop tour of the Arab Emirates, Dubai, Bahrain, and Abu Dhabi, where they had sold out two nights in each location.
Next stop would be Australia, Sydney 5 nights, Melbourne 5 nights, Perth 3 nights.
Then New Zealand, Christchurch, 4 nights.
On their way home they would play 4 nights in Singapore, then there were yet to be finalised arrangements for several performances in Beijing China and Tokyo Japan.
Dillon had planned to be absent from Strelloe for up to three weeks of every month whilst the boys were touring.
He had a strong and competent management team in place now, Strelloe was continuing to grow thanks to his Poppa who had, in Dillon's eyes, gone above and beyond in helping him install and shape a robust team.
Initially Jace had seconded one of his senior executive team to Strelloe, Tanya Forrester, she'd risen the ranks to become Jace's Vice CEO of JBJ Corporate.
She in turn had hired, installed, and trained, first an Operations Manager for each department, then she'd set about recruiting, by head hunting, a CEO who Dillon could work with.
Back when Dillon had first asked his Poppa for advice, Jace had been keen for his son to spend a few days studying the management setup at JBJ.
Dillon had set about the task with his usual diligent attitude, watching, listening, asking questions, attending meetings.
On the third day, he and Jace had sat and discussed Dillon's observations over lunch, and Jace had been surprised by what he heard, his boy had achieved exactly what Jace had requested.
"You run a pretty tight ship Poppa, and I'd like to implement it almost identically within Strelloe, but I have to question why you have duplication at the head of each department, your Operations Managers do just about everything that's required to run the departments, and yet you have a Department Manager above them, I don't see them doing anything, in fact, and please don't be offended by this, I cried off early from most of their meetings, they were boring, non productive, seemingly time fillers".
Jace had been riveted, Dillon had spotted this in just two days touring the business, he actually suggested that once they had Strelloe sorted they should do an Annual, or even Bi Annual, general appraisal of each other's companies.
When Jace discussed Dillon's observations with Tanya she was annoyed.
Initially Jace took her annoyance to be aimed at Dillon, but he should have known better, as she explained, putting the blame firmly on her own shoulders.
"If you cast your mind back about three years, you and I discussed management workloads, and I would stress, we disagreed on this very subject, you felt we were over staffing the management level, I argued that it was too much work to load onto the Operations Managers, they needed an escape valve, a higher management person to take the strain on difficult issues".
She was clearly upset by what she'd heard, but she went on.
"I promised I'd revisit the situation in twelve months, I didn't do that, and now I'm vexed, entirely with myself, because not only were you right, I've not carried out my promise to monitor the situation, and I'm even more vexed that we appear to be financing a bunch of free loaders, I'm sorry Jace, I'll look into it straight away".
Jace couldn't help smiling.
"Tanya, stop beating yourself up, it's an issue we can correct, I'm as annoyed as you that we appear to be paying out salaries to individuals who bring nothing to the table, but I don't agree with apportioning blame, we know about it now, that's good enough for me, besides, you're going to be looking to staff a management pool at Strelloe".
He paused for effect.
"Now, if I were going to council you, I'd say steal the ones who've proved their worth, take them over to Strelloe with you wherever possible, but with my blessing you can give them an iron clad guarantee, if they don't like it, if they want to return to JBJ, we'll take them back, no drop in either salary or rank, we'll also agree relocation costs for them with Strelloe, then let the Department Managers understand, their current positions no longer exist, they have a choice, take an alternative role, albeit a step down, or find alternative employment".
Tanya was apprehensive, but it suddenly dawned on her what Jace was thinking.
"You're banking on every one of the Operations Managers having a trained up fledgling ready to take over, so if the Department Managers choose to leave we still have a competent replacement waiting in the wings".
Jace smiled, then he failed, he couldn't suppress a laugh.
"I'm pleased I can still outthink you Wonder Woman".
It was a good natured reference to a fancy dress day they'd held a few months earlier when Tanya had dressed up as Wonder Woman, and he'd been dressed as SuperMan.
He'd succeeded in lifting her out of her funk, she'd smiled as she replied.
"I doubt I'll ever stop learning, or being surprised by your ingenuity SuperMan".
Tanya had enlisted the help of Phil Coulson, Trevor's Poppa, in setting up a meeting with the person she had earmarked as future CEO of Strelloe.
Phil had been meeting with the particular person for a year or so and had a high regard for him.
In his position as CEO of JBJ Claims Management, Phil had always insisted, whomever they accepted business from had to buy into a warm handover agreement, he refused to accept that a client was passed around without knowing who they were dealing with or why.
In the case of one particular insurer, he'd come across someone who was an absolute guru, he could calmly and with sensitivity, explain to his clients why they were being placed in the capable hands of JBJ Claims Management, extolling the benefits of an efficient, caring and ethical company who would manage their claim to settlement with minimum inconvenience, whilst offering the option for the client to back out if they felt at all uncomfortable, in almost every instance it worked, their clients felt they were being placed in safe hands.
Phil had assured Tanya, although he was what JBJ recognised as an Operations Manager, he controlled several departments, and it was still not unusual for staff arriving at their desks to find him occupying the next desk, he tried to fit in a back to the floor day every month.
Tanya had opted to meet in the same little Bistro where Mel had recruited her, and where she in turn had recruited Phil, feeling it had good karma, and she knew she'd need it, this was not going to be a pushover, in fact he'd turned down a meeting several times.
Unbeknown to Tanya she was going to have some help with her recruitment drive.
She saw him climbing out of the cab in front of the Bistro and stood to greet him, extending her hand in greeting.
"Alexander, Tanya Forester, I'm really pleased that you could make the time to meet with me".
But his reply surprised her.
"I wouldn't have, but I got a second invite to this meeting which really intrigued me, now I'm seeing only you and I'm thinking it was a hoax, a ruse to get me here".
He could see immediately, the second invitation hadn't come from her, Tanya looked completely baffled, so he pulled out the hand written note he'd received, offering it for her to read.
From just the address details on the envelope, she recognised the handwriting, handing the envelope back without reading the content she said.
"I'm surprised, but seeing the handwriting, I know who it came from".
He smiled.
So, it seems we're both in the dark, he didn't tell you he knew me?".
Tanya was still baffled, but she answered him.
"No, and in itself that doesn't bother me, what surprises, and intrigues me though, is why you turned up at all after refusing my invitation three times?".
He wasn't smiling this time, his expression was deadly serious.
"I thought it was about time to tell him something he should have heard a long time ago".
They both jumped when a voice from behind them, just inside the doorway spoke.
"And what would that be Lexy?".
Spinning around they saw Dillon emerging from the doorway.
"Dillon, it's good to see you, you're looking well, I wanted the opportunity to say I'm sorry".
Dillon opened his arms and Alexander moved in for a hug.
"Hey Lexy, it's been too long, I've missed you my friend".
Parting, Dillon became suddenly aware of Tanya staring at them, and her expression wasn't one of happiness, in fact she looked decidedly pissed off.
"Tanya, I'm sorry, I hijacked your meeting without warning you, but I knew he intended to turn you down, and I needed a hug from him, that's all I can offer, let's sit, at least one of us got something out of this meeting".
Lexy asked pointedly.
"Why though Dillon, I don't understand why would you let her pursue me without sharing the history?, you know as well as I do, how painful any thought of coming back to Strelloe would be for me".
Dillon's reply came with force, from someone frustrated and annoyed.
"If you'd only open your fucking eyes you might understand that history should stay right where it belongs, in the past, you should never have left, no one blamed you, but we're in the here and now, and it's time to pay the piper, Strelloe needs you, I need you, are you going to hurt us again Lexy?".
They were staring at each other, oblivious to Tanya's startled expression, until she stood, saying.
"I think I should leave you to settle whatever this is".
But even she was startled when Dillon replied harshly.
"Sit down Tanya, you're having lunch, Lexy hasn't answered my question yet, and I'd like him to answer even if it takes him all afternoon, I'd like to hear why he thinks it's right to deny us again when we need him, because I know he still loves us".
As Tanya sat back down Lexy replied.
"That's not fair Dillon, I couldn't stay, I had to go, it was the only way".
But Dillon was having none of Lexy's argument, his reply said how angry he was.
"Oh no Lexy, you don't get to play the fair card, Jonny and I tried that and you tore our cards up, threw them in our faces and walked away, you hurt us beyond anything you could have imagined, no one, not Jonny, not me, not anyone at Strelloe blamed you, that was entirely your decision, well you were wrong then, and you're wrong now, but that's bye the bye, it's time for this meeting to reach its goal".
Lexy didn't say anything, so Dillon continued.
"Tanya invited you here to offer you the role of CEO at Strelloe, and all it needs is for you to swallow your stupid pride and recognise how much we need you, now I'm leaving you, despite everything, I enjoyed seeing you Lexy, at least I got the hug I've been craving for so long".
Dillon stood, nodded to a clearly confused Tanya and walked away.
Not wasted on either of them were the tears in his eyes as he left.
Lexy made as if to leave too, but Tanya brought him to a halt.
"Oh no Buster, you're going nowhere until I know what just happened, now sit, order, and then explain".
When Tanya finally arrived back at Strelloe she went directly to her office, walking straight past Dillon in the hallway without even acknowledging him, and when her door slammed shut in his face, he knew not to enter.
It was around four thirty in the afternoon when Jace's call to Tanya came.
"I'm conscious of the possibility I'm dicing with death here, but I have to ask, what in hell has happened today?".
Tanya was still livid, even though she could understand Dillon's reasoning, she couldn't at that point forgive his approach, and her reply to Jace made it clear.
"Your son set me up, proceeded to embarrass me, then walked away, leaving me to clean up his mess, and I don't mind telling you, if he stuck his head into my office right now, he'd be carrying it home very separate to his body, in fact, I'm thinking very seriously of walking away from both Strelloe and JBJ, so I'll bid you goodbye for now because I am in no mood to talk".
Jace was stunned when Tanya cut the call, his next call was to Dillon.
"What the fuck did you do boy, my Vice CEO is currently considering walking away from both of our companies, in all of the years I've known Tanya, I've never heard her in such a foul mood, you need to do something to right whatever wrong you did".
When Dillon heard the 'boy', he knew his Poppa was furious and said only one word in answer before cutting the call.
"Understood".
He'd tasked his PA with finding, and purchasing, something which completely baffled her, but his second barked order sent her running.
"Now".
A little over thirty minutes later he walked into Tanya's office carrying a wooden tray, the type grocers receive fruit and vegetable deliveries in, and he did it without knocking, guaranteeing extra rage.
The foul look told him her rage hadn't dissipated any.
He'd set the tray down on the end of her desk, causing a serious frown from her.
"A present, and an opportunity, it may not come again so take it, I'll have your office professionally cleaned later, but for now, I'm standing here, you have a tray of rotten fruit in front of you, and five minutes to exact your revenge, so what are you wai.................".
He didn't get any further as a red bag off slop, which had once been a tomato hit him squarely in the mouth.
Over the next four minutes, she all but emptied the tray, and scored above a ninety percent hit rate, the misses were only in the last minute, when she was laughing so hard she couldn't aim.
As she'd obviously given up on throwing anything more at him, he said.
"I'm sorry Tanya, are we good?".
She replied with a smile, just two words.
"We're good".
He turned toward the door saying.
"Okay, now the walk of shame".
Tanya was doubled up laughing hysterically as he left her office, completely covered in rotten fruit, walking the length of corridor between their offices, he said to his startled PA as he passed her.
"Arrange for Tanya's office to be professionally cleaned, she seems to have made a bit of a mess".
But her reply really threw him.
"I can do that Dillon, but Alexander Mossman is on the way up to see you, you did leave word he was always to be granted immediate entry".
At that moment the elevator pinged its arrival, the doors opened, and there stood Lexy, staring in amazement at Dillon, covered in rotting fruit, as he stepped out he started laughing, and Dillon joined him.
"Don't bloody ask Lexy this is all your fault".
Half an hour later, when Dillon had showered in his private bathroom and changed into clean clothes, he sat with Lexy in the lounge area of his office.
"So, you braved your demons, you walked back through our front door, it's a start, but I'm apprehensive Lexy, I want so much to believe it's a good sign, but I'm not a fool, I understand Life's Illusions, sometimes they lead us to believe what we want to believe, then we suffer the fall from euphoria to sadness, so tell me".
At that point he stretched out his arms, turning full circle.
"Have you come to claim this office as your rightful turf?".
Lexy looked nervous, but he answered with one word.
"Yes".
There were tears running down Dillon's cheeks as he opened his arms, and Lexy fell into them.
"Oh god, Jonny would be so happy, I'm so happy, just wait until Albert knows, you're not kidding me are you, I couldn't stand that, you taught me everything I know, I've done my best, now it's your turn, take it forward Lexy".
That was the point where Tanya walked in, she stood transfixed, watching as they hugged, tears rolling freely down both of their faces, when Dillon saw her he broke the embrace.
"Tanya, I believe you accomplished your mission, meet the new CEO of Strelloe Brokers, Alexander Mossman".
Tanya's answer summed it up.
"This has been one of those days your head tells you didn't happen, but you know it did, welcome back aboard Lexy, and from what I hear, it's going to be a day that is celebrated by so many, you have no idea how much you are loved at Strelloe, much better than that waster next to you".
Only a short time ago her words would have unnerved Dillon, but right there and then, nothing could dampen his spirit, re replied with a beaming grin.
"Tanya Forester you're officially fired, get on your broomstick and fly back to JBJ, but know you go with my eternal love and gratitude, for bringing him home".
And so it was done, Alexander Mossman was announced one week later as the new CEO of Strelloe Brokers, he would take up his position at the end of the month.
On that afternoon after Dillon had walked away, when Tanya had compelled Lexy to sit, order, then explain, she'd heard a heartbreaking story of a boy, the same age almost as Dillon, a boy who Jonny Strelloe had complete confidence in, who'd taken Dillon under his wing, taught him everything he knew, but a boy who was duped by his lover, the then head of finance at Strelloe Brokers, someone who had been found to have been systematically defrauding Strelloe for years, Lexy had been mentally destroyed, he'd believed he was guilty by association, he'd enjoyed those ill gotten gains, so he'd walked away, despite Jonny and Dillon begging him to understand he wasn't to blame.
Tanya had been trying to process all of this information when she'd returned to the office that afternoon, it explained her mood, but she would always say of Dillon, any CEO who would subject them self to the level of ridicule she'd administered as retribution, well that just proved their worth, and however many times she told the story, the message was always clear, argue with me at your peril.
TBC Allan
Comments are welcome to cfgw2000@aol.com.
Thank you for giving me your time, enjoy.