DISCLAIMER: This story is a work of fiction. The characters are real people but are being written in fictional situations. This is not saying anything about the sexual orientation of anyone mentioned.
WARNING: This story deals with homosexual themes. If this offends you, don't read. If you are under 18 years of age, don't read. If reading this story causes you to break any laws, don't read.
FEEDBACK: I'd like to know what you think, email me at Kb79@aol.com
Life's Discoveries Chapter 8 By: Kelly
Kevin woke up early, way earlier than he would have liked to. The sun was shining in the window, right into his eyes. As if that wasn't enough, he now understood why Nick offered to switch with him. He had slept on floors that were more comfortable than this pull out couch. Nothing had ever hurt his back so much.
So Kevin woke up way before anyone else in the house. He tried for a few minutes to go back to sleep, but it was no good. So he decided he'd start the day early. Kevin threw on a pair of shorts over his, well over nothing, and went upstairs to make some coffee in the kitchen. He sat there over a cup and the newspaper for a half an hour before anyone else came down the stairs.
AJ woke up to find himself still wrapped in Nick's arms. He sat up and looked down at his friend. AJ was very lucky to have Nick. He started to smile slightly, but burst into tears again instead. Nick stirred at the sound, and looked over at AJ.
"What's wrong?" Nick mumbled, trying to shake the sleep from his head.
"I can't believe she's gone, we've been together for two and a half years." AJ sniffled.
Nick sat up, he threw an arm around AJ and pulled him in. "You did the right thing AJ, I know it hurts right now, but you really did do the right thing."
"I know. Thanks Nick." AJ rested his head on Nick's shoulder.
"Anytime, you know that." Nick gave AJ a little squeeze. "You going to be okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be okay, I just need to get this out." AJ told him.
"Well you go right ahead." Nick smiled, if only the rest of the world knew what a softy AJ really was.
"Alright." AJ said, taking a deep breath. "I'm gonna be okay for now."
"You sure?" Nick questioned.
"Yeah, I smell coffee, let's go downstairs and see who's awake." AJ said, rubbing the bed sheet across his eyes.
"Why don't you go clean up a little? You'll feel even better, I'll make sure there's a cup of coffee for you." Nick suggested.
"Okay." AJ said as he got up and headed for the bathroom that was attached to Nick's room.
Nick headed out of his room and down to the kitchen. There was Kevin, leaning back in a chair, sports page in one hand, coffee cup in the other. Nick's heart skipped a beat, God that was cute, he wasn't used to seeing Kevin in one of those moments when he thinks no one is watching.
"Mornin' Kev." Nick smiled.
Kevin looked up in shock and the chair came crashing down onto the other two legs.
Nick laughed out loud. "Did I scare ya?"
Kevin looked up and smiled at Nick. "Nah, you just surprised me. Good morning to you too."
"How'd ya sleep?" Nick asked.
Kevin groaned. "Do you want the truth?"
"I'm not gonna say I told ya so." Nick smirked.
Kevin stuck his tongue out at Nick. "So how is AJ doing?" Kevin changed his tone.
"He's gonna be alright, he cried a bit, and he spent the night with me. But he's gonna be fine." Nick told him.
Kevin stiffened a little in jealousy. AJ spent the night with Nick? In his bed? Kevin looked at Nick.
Nick looked back at him, with that sweet innocent look that he still pulled off sometimes.
Kevin began to smile again. What was he thinking? Nothing was going on. AJ was upset, Nick took care of him, and there was nothing more than that.
Nick smiled back at Kevin, somehow the two of them never could stop smiling when they were alone. "So, what ya wanna do today?"
Kevin thought for a second, then you could practically see the lightning strike his brain as his eyes lit up. "Does your neighbor still have those horses?"
Nick shook his head in amusement. "Yes, yes they do. Let me guess, you wanna go riding?"
Kevin tried to pass of an innocent look. "Me? No..."
Nick laughed again. "Sure, sure. So horseback riding it is."
"You coming with? I thought you didn't like it." Kevin questioned.
"It's okay every once in awhile. If that's what you want, we'll go horseback riding." Nick offered.
Right then the door opened into the kitchen. "Did someone just say horseback riding? I love horseback riding." Lance said as he came walking in.
"Do you?" Kevin asked excitedly.
"Yeah! Of course, I used to own a horse." Lance answered.
"Fabulous! Now you don't have to go Nick!" Kevin practically squealed.
"Great." Nick said, not meaning it at all, he was quite looking forward to an afternoon with Kevin. "I'll have time to spend with AJ, make sure he's okay and all."
"Awesome, thanks Nicky." Kevin smiled at Nick, and then beamed at Lance. "We'll have such a good time."
"Yep." Lance smiled back.
"I'll make the phone call." Nick said in a monotone voice.
Lance and Kevin didn't hear him, they were too busy discussing what kind of saddle they preferred and whether or not they kept a tight rein on the bit.
Soon Howie, Brian, and AJ came downstairs. They all had breakfast together and then they began to discuss what they were going to do today. Lance and Kevin were going riding, of course. Both Brian and Howie were going off to see their girls. Nick placed the phone call to his neighbor and the two farm boys went off. Brian and Howie got cleaned up and left also. That left AJ and Nick in the house.
"So... what we gonna do today?" AJ questioned, noticing his friend's silence.
"I thought I was gonna go riding." Nick mumbled, barely audible.
"So why aren't ya going?" AJ asked.
"Lance is going with him, he doesn't need me." Nick mumbled again.
AJ looked at his friend. "You reading just a little to much into that now, aren't ya?
"Huh?" Nick looked at AJ confused.
"Kevin would rather go riding with Lance, someone who enjoys the sport as much as he does, instead of you, someone who usual finds it to be tedious, instead of fun. And you somehow come to the conclusion that it means that Kevin no longer needs you." AJ spelled out for Nick.
"I'm being silly, aren't I?" Nick gave a small lopsided smile.
"A little." AJ smirked. "So... what we gonna do?"
"No clue. How you feeling?" Nick asked.
"Eh... I think I need to talk to her, you know, have a real closure and all." AJ mentioned.
"You think?" Nick questioned.
"Yeah, well at least get back my stuff and all." AJ replied sarcastically.
A blank look crossed Nick's face and then he burst out laughing. "So you going over there?"
"Yeah... I think I am. Talk to her a little, end it calmly, and then come home with the whole slate cleared." AJ explained.
"Good, I wish you luck." Nick was impressed by AJ's maturity.
"Thanks, you gonna be okay here?" AJ asked.
"Yeah, come on, this is my house. I'll find something to do." Nick smirked.
"Alright, I'll see ya later then?" AJ downed the last of his coffee.
"Yeah, have fun, catch ya later." Nick replied.
AJ grabbed his coat and went off. Nick was now left alone. He looked around the house for something to do. The place was clean, the grass was cut, and even the laundry was done. So he wandered, room to room, household item to household item. Finally he settled upon his stereo system.
It was if there was nothing on his mind and he was looking for anything to think about. So he turned on the radio, knowing if there was any place to find a muse, it was within music. He flipped to a channel he used to listen to, that he knew played a lot of the old 80's stuff.
'I heard there's always one that has to get away. Let em go. Well you know it ain't that easy. I never listen to what the people say. I lose control I let desire lead me.'
Nick hadn't heard this song in years. Who was this again? That lady who sang Black Velvet, what was her name?
'My conscience aches, but it's gonna lose the fight. I don't care, I'd give it all away tonight. For just one kiss.'
Alannah Myles, that's who it was. Great song, he used to love it when he was younger. So why was it putting him on such an edge right now?
'For just one kiss. For just one of these fantasies I've kept inside 'til now. Lead me on, I will follow gladly. Please don't be mad at me because I let it show. Is it so wrong to want you to spare me? You've got the power, that you know I can't resist. My heart is pounding and it's bound to take a rest.'
One kiss, God only knows what he would do for one kiss right now.
'For just one kiss. Why did we lose tonight? I'll never know. Should we give love a try? Or let it go. I can't help what I do. The closer and closer I get to you.'
Should they give love a try, was there a chance in hell. Him and... him and... him and Kevin. Could there ever be a chance with Kevin?
'The closer and closer I get to you. My conscience aches, but it's gonna lose the fight. I don't care, I'd give it all away tonight. For just one kiss. For just one kiss. For just one kiss. For just one kiss.....'
Nick grabbed the keys to his boat and went running from the house.
Lance and Kevin had tacked up and were now happily cantering through a nearby field. The sun was out and it was humid, so soon it became necessary to rest their horses. They sat by a grove of trees and set out some bowls of water for their horses. Kevin sprawled out on his back in the cool grass, while Lance propped himself up against a tree in the shade.
"Not much for the sun?" Kevin asked.
Lance straightened the larger than normal brim on his baseball cap. "Look at me, I'm an albino, with out proper precautions, I become a lobster."
Kevin laughed. "Well, at least you have a sense of humor about it."
"I have to." Lance grinned. "Otherwise the guys would have eaten me alive, years ago."
"I hear that, joking around always saves my butt with the guys too, not to mention how well it used to work with Kristin." Kevin agreed.
"Yeah, I know that feeling, I sometimes believe my sense of humor is the only thing that got me through my relationship with Danielle." Lance mentioned.
Kevin coughed slightly on some water. "Danielle?"
"Yeah, Danielle, my ex-girlfriend. Dated her for about 9 months a few years back." Lance informed.
"But, but, you're..." Kevin stammered.
"Gay? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what broke us up." Lance smirked.
"You mean you didn't know when you were dating her?" Kevin asked.
"Oh no, I knew. I still don't know why I did it." Lance said.
"Did management suggest it? Maybe to keep you from, well from, you know." Kevin stumbled.
"No management didn't suggest it. They never knew, they still don't know. The rest of the guys all are such womanizers that it's okay to have me be shy and sweet. I think I did it in hopes of getting the guys off my back, it was back when they still were on my case." Lance stopped to take a drink of water. "To tell you the absolute truth. It wasn't that bad."
"Did you... sleep with her?" Kevin asked carefully.
"NO! God no... I don't think we ever did anything besides a peck on the lips. It's really surprising she lasted with me so long." Lance said. "You ever miss Kristin? Cause sometimes I miss Danielle, but I don't really know why."
"Yeah, I totally miss Kristin. But do you know what it is? I miss being intimate with someone, I miss having that closeness, and I miss having that bond that can only occur between two people who completely love each other. I miss staying up until all hours talking about anything, I miss getting a hug whenever I wanted one. I miss everything about being in a relationship. But the truth is, I don't miss Kristin herself. I miss what I had with her. That probably sounds horrible, but well, it's the truth." Kevin explained.
"No, that's not horrible. That's it actually, that's exactly what it is. I've just never been able to put it in words like that." Lance looked at Kevin in awe.
Kevin gave a half smile.
Lance continued to gaze at Kevin. He always knew that Kevin was an extremely handsome man, but now he was seeing that he was also intelligent and had a personality, unlike what his bandmates had originally thought. 'All brawn, no brains' had been their comment, if he remembered correctly. Lance was beginning to find Kevin's complete package very attractive.
"You ready to head back?" Kevin said, waving his hand in front of Lance's face.
"What?" Lance shook himself out of the daze.
"I asked if you were ready to go. You seem a little out of it, you okay? I asked a few times." Kevin mentioned, looking at Lance with worry in his eyes.
"I'm okay, sorry I was just thinking. I'm ready to go, if you are." Lance answered.
"Okay then, let's go." Kevin stood up from where he had been laying. He took the bowl of water from off the ground and put it back in his bag. Kevin then mounted his horse and looked back at Lance to see if he was ready. The two of them rode back to Nick's neighbor's house to return the horses and then to go home.
When they arrived back at the house they found that Howie and Brian were still out with Leighanne and Rachel, AJ was asleep on the couch in the living room, and Nick was no where to be found. Lance and Kevin went to go shower after their long afternoon. When they came back, AJ was awake and playing playstation.
"Hi guys, how was the ride?" AJ asked, pausing the game.
"It was great, perfect afternoon." Kevin replied.
"Yeah, it was." Lance smiled softly.
"Cool, wish I could say the same." AJ rolled his eyes.
"What you do today? I kinda thought you and Nick were gonna hang out. But I don't see him anywhere." Kevin mentioned.
"I went over to Amanda's, just for closure. It was hell, so bad I needed a nap when I got home. How is I never noticed what a vicious bitch she is? Thank God I know now." AJ smirked. "And I have no idea where Nicky is, I haven't seen him since I left this morning."
Kevin began to look panicked. "I wonder where he is, I hope he is alright."
"Calm down Kev, remember, Nick's an adult, he's fine." Lance laid a hand on Kevin's arm.
Kevin brushed the hand off. "Yeah, maybe, but he rarely runs off, and if he does, he leaves a note."
"Maybe he just ran to the store. He'll probably be back any minute." Lance tried again.
"How long have you been home AJ?" Kevin ignored Lance and turned to his bandmate.
"What time is it now?" AJ asked.
"4:30." Kevin practically barked.
"Well, I've been home for at least three hours then. I was only at Amanda's for about 2 hours or so." AJ replied.
"And you haven't seen or heard from Nick the whole time?" Kevin more demanded than asked.
"No, sorry." AJ was a little scared of Kevin at the moment.
Kevin began to pace around the room. "Where is he? He knows better than to do this!"
"Kevin, you have to calm down. Nick can handle himself." Lance tried to reassure.
Once again Kevin blew off Lance, as he ripped his cell phone from his pocket and began to punch in Nick's number. He cursed as he got no answer, but immediately tried again.
"Damn it, he doesn't have it on!" Kevin said as he tried a third time.
The rest of the afternoon and into the evening went pretty much the same. Lance and AJ tried to do things to make Kevin get his mind off worrying about Nick, but they were useless. Kevin was normally over protective, but this was bordering insane.
By the time 8:00 rolled around, Brian and Howie had arrived home with Chinese take out. They all ate without Nick, despite Kevin's request to wait. Nick knew how it was, be there when the food was, or don't eat. When dinner was over, they all retired to the living room to watch television.
It was close to 11:00 when Nick finally came home.
Kevin leapt out of his seat as a ragged, sunburned, red eyed Nick came walking in the backdoor.
"Where the hell have you been Nick?" Kevin demanded.
Nick stopped dead in his tracks. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me! Where have you been?" Kevin repeated.
Nick had a long day, he was tired, achy, and overall miserable. And the last thing he needed was this attitude from Kevin. "None of your business!"
"What?!? Hell yeah it's my business!" Kevin spit out.
"Is it? I don't think so, so back the hell off!" Nick stormed past Kevin, ran up the steps into his room, and slammed the door.
Kevin stood there in shock.
"Well, at least you know he's okay Kev." AJ said softly.
"Fuck off AJ!" Kevin screamed as he stomped downstairs.
Everyone just looked at each other.
"Should we go check on them?" Howie asked.
"Yeah, might be a good idea." AJ agreed.
"I'll go check on Kevin." Lance offered.
"I'll check on Nicky." Brian said.
Howie and AJ nodded in agreement.
Upstairs
Brian knocked on Nick's door.
"What? And if you're Kevin go the hell away!" Nick shouted though the door.
"Frack? It's Brian, you okay pal?" Brian said gently.
"Brian, I'm dead on my feet, can we talk later?" Nick asked, exasperated.
"Sure, if you're gonna be okay for the night." Brian said, not wanting to push Nick.
"I'm fine, we'll chat tomorrow, okay?" Nick sighed.
"Okay, goodnight Frack." Brian departed.
"Goodnight Frick." Nick whispered.
Downstairs
Lance knocked on the basement door.
"Whoever that is, go away!" Kevin shouted.
"It's Lance." Lance said softly.
"You count in that group, go away, we'll talk tomorrow!" Kevin pressed.
"Okay, goodnight Kevin." Lance said sadly.
"Goodnight Lance." Kevin answered shortly.
The house slowly winded its way down. By the time midnight struck, everyone was either asleep, or close to it. The day seemed to have gone by very quickly, as if it went by so fast, that no one was given enough time to do what was really needed to be done.
That's it for now. Chapters are coming a little quicker, huh? Anyone still reading? I'm interested to know how I'm doing. Oh, and I have a new webpage, go see it - www.angelfire.com/nj3/HealthyObsession/enter.html See you all later, KB