Life After Ryan

This is a gay love story and is the sequel to 'Number Twenty Five'. It is pure fiction and continues the story of James without his first love.

Note - Bareback sex is not recommended since protection should always be used. Remember, this story is pure fantasy!

Warning - it contains explicit m/m sex and S&M action.

Life after Ryan

The anniversary of Ryan's death came and went. I cried that morning but Luke in his usual kind way comforted me. I still missed him so much but having Luke kept me moving forward. I loved him just as much so I knew I was a very lucky guy.

Christmas that year was quieter than on previous years. Harry and Jo joined us as did Mike and Tim. Most of the other ten guys who came for the Christmas event were new. We decided this year not to make it a clothes optional affair although guys could of course strip off in the Jacuzzi and cinema room if they wished.

The weather this particular year was dry and sunny even though it was cold so several guys went out for a walk in the morning. Christmas lunch was a great success again and everyone enjoyed themselves. Luke and I had several enjoyable sessions of hot sex with Harry and Jo in our flat and Simon also joined in on some of them. Harry and Jo had become very close friends and we always enjoyed their company. Simon had yet another new boyfriend so he came round some days and disappeared into his flat. He always had a contented grin on his face whenever he reappeared so I guessed he was having a good time!

We'd booked to go to Gran Canaria in the January since it was about the only time of the year we could close the guesthouse down without turning away business. Simon came with us since he had never been able to afford a holiday abroad before. He was like a kid on the day we set off. I'd booked us into a nice hotel which was near the beach. Luke and I had one room and he had his own. I was glad I had chosen what appeared to be one of the best hotels in town because some of the others looked pretty grim when we saw them in the flesh.

The gay night life is in the Yumbo Centre which by day is a shopping mall and by night a gay Mecca. We had good fun and came across all types. There were lots of guys and back rooms that Simon in particular loved, and plenty of bars to drink in. Almost every night we went to a club and danced the night away before dragging ourselves back to the hotel, sometimes with a guy in tow who spent the night romping around in the bed with us. Simon would invariably find a guy for himself and Luke and I would find a guy who was into threesomes.

During the day we would go on the beach and when we felt we wanted more action we would wander into the sand dunes and find naked guys to have fun with.

Overall it was an enjoyable two weeks even though there was nothing cultural to keep our minds active but the sex made up for that!

The years seemed to fly by. We had a regular clientele who'd come and see us every year. Most years we would be full between Easter and the autumn and during the other periods we tended to have business guys or weekenders. We also became known as a venue for running specialist group events so had more S&M weekends, massage courses and a gay nudist group who just liked the freedom to spend the weekend wandering around the place naked and having their meals in the nude. We always offered full board for these events so Luke was kept busy in the kitchen.

The ten year anniversary of the guesthouse being opened by Ryan and myself was soon upon us. I felt sad that Ryan was not with us to see how well we had done but I took Luke and Simon out for a slap up meal to celebrate. When Harry and Jo heard it was ten years, they invited Luke and me to stay with them in London for five days. It was March and we only had four rooms booked so Simon said he could cope whilst we were away. He'd got yet another boyfriend so no doubt he spent many a night with Simon! He seemed to get through boyfriends like a dose of salts.

"I think I expect too much from them" he told me one day when the guy he thought was Mr Right had moved on.

"You'll know when you do find him" I told him.

"I do hope so; I want to be like you and Luke," he said in a somewhat dejected voice, "perhaps it's me".

I pulled him into a hug and told him he was a lovely guy and I was sure he'd find the perfect guy to love in due course.

"These things tend to happen when you least expect them" I said remembering how I'd met Ryan.

Harry and Jo lived in a small flat near Soho. They had a spare room so were able to put us up.

"Not quite like Number Twenty Five" Harry giggled when he showed us round, "but we like it and it's convenient for all the clubs".

"Yeah, brilliant" Luke laughed, "and lots of gorgeous guys around as well".

I'd not been back to London since first going down to Brighton over ten years ago. Somehow I'd never found time to do so. Even Luke had only been back once in the time we'd been together. As such, it was virtually new territory for me again and I looked forward to spending some time being shown around. My previous experience had not been that brilliant as I thought back.

"We're taking you guys to NBN tonight" Harry giggled.

"NBN, what's that?" Luke asked.

"Nearly Bollock Naked" Jo replied laughing, "when you get there you strip off down to your trainers and spend the rest of the night going round naked".

"You can wear jocks or underwear if you like but most guys go for the full SBN" Harry laughed, "and if we get there by nine we can also get access to the foam night that is taking place afterwards" Harry added, "you guys will love it".

"Wow, sounds brilliant" Luke and I replied.

Harry took us to Balans in Soho for a meal that evening. I'd walked past it during my short time in London but had never been since I couldn't afford it in those days. It's a very popular gay restaurant and is always full. We had a brilliant meal and enjoyed flirting with the gorgeous waiter and admiring the other guys around us.

When we finished our meal, we went to a gay bar for a drink before moving onto the Hoist in Vauxhall where NBN took place. Having paid our entrance fee, we stripped of 'stark bullock naked' except for footwear and made our way into the main area. It was packed with naked or semi naked guys and Luke and I knew we were going to enjoy ourselves!

Harry suggested we spit up into pairs since four guys trying to keep together is not that easy so he went with Luke and I went with Jo. I especially liked Jo and he me so we never minded being on our own. He led me through the throng of naked guys and as we pushed our way through it was virtually impossible not to feel naked flesh or have hands feel yours even if you'd wanted to avoid such contact! He led me into another area where there were some dimly lit alcoves in which I could see couples kissing and having a good time. He then took me along another corridor and into a dark room. It was pitch black and took a while for my eyes to acclimatise but once they had I could tell there were lots of naked guys roaming around.

Jo led me to the other side and put his hands round my waist. It felt good and I was happy to let him caress my nakedness and handle my cock which was soon rock hard. I could feel his naked body pushing up against mine and his erection pressing against my buttocks. Somewhere along the way he must have picked up some lube or had some in his wrist wallet because I suddenly found his fingers lubricating my entrance. It wasn't long before his long hard cock was pushing its way into me. I just relaxed and enjoyed the feel of his hot organ invading me. Soon his complete shaft was inside me and he pulled me towards him and kissed the back of my neck.

"Oh god James, that feels so good" he exclaimed.

I groaned and mumbled something to tell him that I too was enjoying the experience.

Somehow, guys around us realised he was fucking me so we soon had hands exploring our naked bodies. One guy knelt down in front of me and took my organ into his mouth. It felt good having his hot lips round my cock and using his tongue to excite it even more. As he did so, he felt my balls and ran his hands up and down my thighs. I placed a hand on his head which was hairless. I used my other hand to explore his back and his chest as far as I could reach and found they too were hairless. I pinched his nipples and they were soon hard nubs. He was groaning with delight so he clearly enjoyed what I was doing.

Before he brought me right off, he stood up and rubbed his hard cock against mine. I put my hand round it and felt a good sized organ between two smooth balls. He obviously shaved himself because I couldn't feel a hair anywhere.

Meanwhile, Jo was still fucking me and I could tell he was reaching his point of no return. The guy in front of me was rubbing our two cocks together so I too was reaching my peak. Jo had put his arms round the guy and was pulling him even closer as he rubbed our two bodies together. Suddenly I felt the other guy shoot his load and mine too was released. Hot sticky cum spread over our cocks and over our stomachs.

I was just thinking how the hell I was going to clean myself off when he went back down on his knees and licked me clean. What a nice man! Meanwhile, Jo had deposited his seed inside me!

After a further foray into the depths of the dark room and more fumbling of cocks and fingering of arses, Jo and I made our way back into the main area to find Harry and Luke. They were standing by the bar so I bought everyone vodka shots and a neat vodka.

"Bottoms up" Harry giggled as he drank the shot down in one go.

"More like cocks up from what I can see" Luke giggled looking at several guys near us who all had erections but didn't seem that bothered about showing off their attributes.

Having drunk our vodkas, Jo got us more vodka shots and another round of vodkas. These too went down in much the same way. We were feeling nice and warm inside and very randy! Harry's hands were continually feeling Luke and me as well as any other guy he could feel nearby. Most guys were happy to have the attention but some gave him a dirty look.

"If they don't want their cock felt they shouldn't put it on show" Harry giggled when one guy brushed his hand away.

Eventually the main club came to a close and those who'd got tickets for the foam party moved into another area. This was much smaller than the main club area so guys were packed even tighter together than before. Everyone was now naked and nobody seemed to mind having their nakedness felt.

Luke got us all drinks again, vodka shots and a round of vodkas, which we downed as before. Luke and I were definitely beginning to feel the effect but we were enjoying ourselves.

"You might want to take one of these" Harry then said passing us a white pill, "just keeps the energy levels going" he added grinning before giving us a blue pill which he said would keep our cocks up as well!

"Will we need stiff cocks then?" Luke laughed.

"You will once the foam party starts" Jo chuckled, "these guys can't get enough of it" he added giving us each a supply of condoms.

"Mm, think I'm going to enjoy this" I giggled.

Suddenly foam started squirting out from vents in the floor where most guys were standing. As the foam built up guys were taking it into their hands and rubbing it all over their friends or anyone who they fancied nearby. We did the same and were soon covered in it.

Once the foam was at waist height, erections couldn't be seen so hands were used to give them a good feel and encouragement. The lighting was almost nonexistent except for beams of coloured light that revolved round above our heads. It changed from pink to blue to green and back to pink. The effect on the naked flesh as the light flashed by was quite something. I could see several guys getting very frisky and a couple nearby were already linked by one guy's cock inside the other.

The four of us satisfied ourselves by bringing each other to a climax before finally moving away to dry ourselves off.

The rest of our time in London was spent visiting the usual tourist things and enjoying the gay bars each evening. Harry also let Luke and I watch a filming session in which we enjoyed three guys fucking each other.

Finally it was time to go home so on the last evening I took everyone out for a nice meal at a restaurant Harry and Jo liked going to. We really enjoyed those few days away and it set us up for the busy time ahead of us.

We got back to Brighton and found that Simon had done well. The guests were all happy and the place looked clean and tidy.

"Thank you Simon for holding the fort" I said taking him into my arms and giving him a big hug and a kiss.

"I enjoyed it" he replied grinning.

"And did ... what's your current boyfriend called?" Luke asked grinning.

"David" Simon replied giggling.

"Oh yeah, so did David stay to keep you company?" Luke asked.

Simon nodded looking slightly embarrassed.

"It's okay Simon, you can have whoever you like to stay" I said hugging him again.

"Yeah, as long as we can fuck him as well" Luke laughed.

"Fuck off" Simon giggled.

"Mm, talking about fuck, how about it?" Luke chuckled.

I think Luke was only joking but Simon took him seriously and immediately started undressing Luke for a good hot session of sex.

"How about I tie you up and James and I will give you a good stuffing" he giggled.

"Suits me" Luke replied immediately stripping off the rest of his clothes.

Seeing that I was expected to join in I stripped off as well. Not that I ever minded fucking my love!

The next ten years seemed to go by even faster than the first ten. I was now forty two, Luke was thirty nine and Simon was thirty eight. I couldn't believe how time had gone by so quickly and when I looked back on the last twenty years I still smiled to myself. I'd enjoyed every minute of it even though I still thought of Ryan every so often.

It was the fifth of December when I picked up the phone to answer the call that would change my life yet again

"Oh my god Jo" I exclaimed as I listen to what he was telling me on the phone, "how terrible, I'm so sorry Jo; where are you?" I added shocked to the core.

Luke looked at me wondering what on earth Jo was saying to make me react as I was. I was stunned and shaken.

"Stay where you are" I then told Jo, "We'll be with you within two hours, can you stay where you are?"

"What on earth is going on?" Luke exclaimed when I'd finally come off the phone.

I sat down heavily in the nearest chair and he immediately came over to me and sat on the arm.

"What has happened? Tell me James"

I eventually managed to tell him what Jo had told me.

"Harry and Jo were attacked last night by a bunch of youths; Harry was stabbed and died half an hour ago from his injuries; the police have said it was a homophobic attack."

Luke just sat there looking at me. Neither of us could believe it.

"What the fuck is wrong with people? Why can't they just let us live the life we want to live and be who we are" I yelled.

"Poor Jo" Luke finally said, "I take it we're going to London to see him".

"Yeah" I said immediately as I stood up, "he's at the hospital so I said we'd go and collect him; he said he couldn't face going back to the flat on his own."

Whilst I called Simon on the intercom to ask him to come straight up to our flat, Luke quickly put together some overnight things for us in case we stayed with Jo. By the time Simon came up, tears were pouring down my face; I just couldn't believe I'd lost another dear friend.

When I'd told Simon the news, he too cried because over the years he'd come to love Harry as much as we had.

"Can you look after things here for us Simon?" I asked.

"Sure, no problem, we've only got the three business guys so I can cope; you get off and look after Jo."

Simon had at last found his Mr Right. He was an Australian called Craig who he'd met in one of the gay bars. Craig was on a one year contract in England for his company so would be going back to Australia. He and Simon were madly in love with each other. I could tell the moment I saw them together. Simon was even happier than usual and his gorgeous brown eyes gleamed with excitement every time he talked about Craig.

"I don't know what to do" he'd said to me a few weeks earlier when Craig had once again asked Simon to go and live with him in Australia.

"Do you love him?" I asked.

"With all my heart"

"And do you want to spend the rest of your life with him?"

"Yes" he nodded crying with joy.

"And does he love you?"

"Yes, he says he does" Simon replied before adding "I know he does".

"I agree, Craig adores you and I don't blame him, so as far as I can see there's only one answer"

Simon looked at me quizzically.

"You've got to say yes Simon; if you don't you'll regret it for the rest of your life"

"But I don't want to leave you guys; I love you both so much" he cried.

"You have to make choices sometimes and they're not always easy ones but you have to go with your heart and if that says go to Australia with Craig then that's what you must do. Just because you're leaving us doesn't mean we won't be here for you; in any event we could come and see you sometime."

Finally Simon made his decision and when he told Craig I could tell that Craig was over the moon. They were due to leave in ten days time so as to be in Australia for Christmas. For the first time ever, we'd decided not to have guests for Christmas so the plan was that it would be just Luke, me, Harry and Jo. Mike and Tim who'd spent many a Christmas with us tended to go to Mike's family in Norfolk now.

As Luke and I made our way to London, my thoughts went over and over the past twenty years and I wondered what the future held for us.

We found Jo sitting alone in a small room at the hospital. The nursing staff had been very nice and had kept an eye on him but they were too busy to be with him all the time. When Luke and I walked in he came rushing up to us and fell into our arms. We stood hugging each other for what seemed like hours. Tears were pouring from all three of us.

As usual it was Luke who took command of the situation and found out from the nursing staff what Jo needed to do next. Having got the necessary information, he came back and told Jo and me.

"Harry's brother is due shortly" Jo said, "he's coming down from Manchester and should be here soon; I told him we'd meet him at the station."

We led Jo out of the hospital and just as we were doing so his mobile rang. It was Harry's brother to say he was due in at Euston within the next fifteen minutes. Harry had told me previously that his only relative was now his brother since their parents had died several years previous. His brother was two years older than Harry, who had been fifty seven when he was killed. Jo was ten years younger but as I led him out of the hospital he looked ten years older than Harry. He'd aged overnight and I couldn't believe it.

We met Harry's brother and all went back to the Soho flat.

"I can't stay here" Jo sobbed as soon as he'd let us all in, "I miss him so much" he said letting another flood of tears flow down his face.

Harry's brother knew about Harry's sexuality and accepted it without question. He had known Jo almost all the fifteen years he and Harry had been together.

"I'll deal with everything Jo and make all the necessary arrangements if you like"

Jo looked at him with tears flowing.

"Why not come back to Brighton with us Jo?" I asked.

Jo looked at me and immediately fell into my arms as if I'd provided salvation for him.

"Thank you James, I'd like that" he sobbed, "Are you sure you don't mind dealing with everything?" he then asked Harry's brother.

"No problem mate, it's the least I can do for my little brother" he replied smiling and patting Jo on the back.

Within half an hour Luke and I had packed a bag for Jo and we were on our way back to Victoria station leaving Harry's brother at the flat. He said he'd be in touch with us as soon as knew when the funeral would be.

On the journey home, Jo told us that he and Harry had never entered into a legal partnership like Luke and I had done although he knew that Harry's will made the flat over to Jo. In recent years Harry's film business had slowed down and Jo had long ago given up being a porn star as had Simon. It seemed Harry was not the best of businessmen and although he'd made sufficient money for him and Jo to live a comfortable life, Jo didn't think there'd be much left by the time inheritance tax had been paid.

"I can't continue to live in the flat" Jo was saying more to himself than to us as the train made its way home, "What the hell I'm going to do I've no idea" he added with more tears running down his face.

"Don't worry about that now Jo" I said putting a comforting arm round his shoulder, "you can stay with us for as long as you want so don't worry about a thing".

He looked at me and then Luke, "Thanks guys; you two have been such good friends over the years; Harry you know really loved the pair of you".

"And we loved him Jo as we do you, so as James says you can stay with us for as long as you like" Luke said, "in fact bearing in mind our plans for the guesthouse, you could make it your permanent home if you wanted; couldn't he James?" Luke added.

"Yeah, you could if you wanted" I replied, "but Jo must take it step by step; this is not the time to make decisions like that Jo".

Jo looked at me and then at Luke for a moment before saying anything.

"What plans have you got for the guesthouse then?" he eventually asked.

I then explained that Luke and I were getting tired of being at the beck and call of guests so much of the time so we'd decided to make the extension our home and convert the lounge into an open plan kitchen and dining area, knock the two bedrooms on the first floor into one big living room and make the two bedrooms on the second floor into a larger bedroom with a wet room which Luke had always yearned to have. The flat currently being used by Simon and Craig would remain untouched and would become a guest suite.

"The plan is to reduce the main guesthouse to just five rooms to make it easier to look after" I explained.

I added that when Simon and Craig left for Australia we would be looking for someone to manage the five rooms and live in the flat we currently used.

Jo listened intently all through my explanation and I noticed glimmers of interest.

"I might be interested in that job" he then said, "Harry and I had talked about opening a small guesthouse but we never had the capital to buy a suitable place to do so."

"Well, it's something you can think about Jo" I said, "but don't make any rash decisions now; there's plenty of time to decide".

"Yeah, you're right, but will you give me first refusal before you employ someone else" he then said as he placed a hand on my knee.

"Of course we will Jo"

The train was pulling into the station so we got our things together and went to find a taxi to take us back home. I'd phoned Simon from London so he was expecting us. When we arrived he ran into Jo's arms and hugged him. Poor Craig just stood in the background not quite sure what to say or do. I went over to him and explained that Simon had known Harry and Jo for nearly twenty years as we had done so we were all very close friends.

"He's a very sensitive guy isn't he?" Craig said looking at Simon.

"He's the best Craig" I replied.

"That's why I love him so much" Craig said looking at his love.

The funeral was arranged for eight days later, just two days before Simon and Craig were due to fly off to Sidney. Simon was so relieved that he could attend the funeral before setting off on his new life.

We took Jo back up to London on the morning of the funeral and met Harry's brother Rob at the flat. When the hearse arrived with the official cars, Luke and I led Jo out between us. He was still badly shaken by what had happened and I could tell he was operating on auto pilot. Rob insisted on Luke and I going with Jo in the car that followed the hearse. He and Simon plus another close friend of Harry's, travelled in the second car.

Harry was well known and everyone was shocked to hear the news of his death. As we slowly followed the hearse along Old Compton Street, I noticed that everyone had stopped what they were doing and looked sadly on. As we moved along I thought back to the last time I had followed a hearse with my dear love inside.

There must have been almost two hundred people trying to squeeze into the small chapel at the Crematorium but somehow they all managed to get in. Luke and I sat with Jo and Rob in the front row and all the while I held Jo's hand. He gripped mine as if his life depended on it. There was nothing to say so we just sat there in silence waiting for the service to begin.

It was a beautiful but simple service. Neither Harry nor Jo was religious but it was very moving. Jo had said he wanted to say a few words and had spent several days getting something down on paper with my help. When he stepped forward to the front to say his piece I could tell immediately that he wasn't going to be able to cope so I stood up, went and stood beside him and put my arms round his waist to support him. Without saying anything I gently took the piece of paper that he was holding and I could feel a sense of relief wash over him.

Having helped him write the piece I almost knew it off my heart. I read out what Jo had wanted to say and added a few words of my own. By the time I had finished there was hardly a dry eye in the chapel. Almost everyone was dabbing their eyes and where Jo had talked about Harry's kindness and consideration to others I had noticed numerous nods of agreement. Afterwards several people came up to us and said what a wonderful message Jo had given to send Harry off.

Once the funeral was over, I felt angry at what had happened to Harry. He really had been a kind and loving guy who always went out of his way to help others yet four young men had taken it upon themselves to extinguish his life solely because of his sexuality. It not only shattered and ruined Jo's life and those who loved him dearly but also the four young men who'd committed this appalling crime. It seemed that the whole episode had been captured on CCTV and during the struggle that ensued Jo and Harry had managed to unmask the four attackers by pulling down their hooded jackets. As such the four had been arrested within hours of the attack. Jo was in no fit state to attend the trial that took place some weeks later and instead gave a witness statement but we heard from Rob that because the CCTV evidence and that of other witnesses was so overwhelming, the four had been persuaded to plead guilty. Even so, the guy who'd stabbed Harry was given a life sentence and the others several years. Such stupidity - all because Harry and Jo's way of life wasn't the same as theirs.

I felt so strongly over the whole affair that I wanted to do something positive for those like Jo who'd been robbed of their loved ones following homophobic attacks. As it happened, some months previous another of Ryan's books had been made into a film and I had received the payment for the rights. Since Luke and I had plenty of money to live on, I decided to use that payment to set up a trust fund in memory of Harry. We called it the Harry Chapman Trust Fund. When I told Jo what I had decided he just looked at me and burst into tears. He couldn't believe that someone would do such a thing and he was overcome with emotion and thanks.

As a result, I was interviewed by the gay press and had my picture in several of them with my words of anger and sorrow. I received numerous letters and emails thanking me and for standing up against the thugs who wanted to attack the gay community. I felt that at least something had come out of Harry's death and I was sure he would have smiled had he been able to do so.

It took a long time for Jo to come to terms with his loss. It became clear that he didn't want to live on his own or move back to London so we arranged for the flat in Soho to be sold. Fortunately once Harry's estate had been tied up, the financial situation was not as bad as Jo had first thought and he had sufficient to get by on. After a long discussion one evening, the three of us decided that Jo was not well enough to manage the guesthouse. We'd spent the months of January and February doing the alterations to number twenty three that was to become home for Luke and me so I now had to make a decision as to what to do with the guesthouse. Because Ryan had left me and Luke in a very comfortable financial situation I decided to sell Number Twenty Five as a going concern. We bricked up the opening between the two buildings so that it was now independent of our own home.

Luke and I invited Jo to live with us. He had done so for almost three months now since Harry's death and we enjoyed having his company.

"You can use Simon's old flat as your bedroom and private rooms but spend as much time with us as you wish" I told Jo.

He looked at us for a moment and then moved over to where Luke and I were sitting.

"I'd love to; thank you so much guys; I don't know what I'd have done without you two; Harry loved you both very dearly and so do I".

Both Luke and I were touched by what he'd said and three of us hugged and kissed each other. As usual tears were running down our faces as we did so.

Having made that momentous decision, Jo settled into living with the two of us and it wasn't long before I had a buyer for the guesthouse. The sum achieved enabled the three of us to live even more comfortably and we went away on long holidays and enjoyed our time together. A year later we all went to Sidney to see Simon and Craig who were still very much in love with each other. I was so happy for Simon. He loved Craig so much and he loved the Australian way of life.

Luke, Jo and I still enjoyed sex together and we'd all taken care of our bodies so for our age we looked a good bunch of guys. We still had the cinema room in the basement, which of course was no longer available for the guests in the house next door to use, and every so often we would go down there, look at porn and enjoy each other's bodies. The fuck bench and the pulleys hanging from the ceiling which had now become a permanent feature were well used!.

One day whilst we were walking along the sea front my mind wandered back over the past twenty years. I still remembered Ryan as if it was yesterday and came to the conclusion that life after Ryan had not been that bad!

My next story 'The Tangled Web' will be available shortly. I welcome comments so feel free to do so by sending me an email.

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Other stories by Adam Stewart: Moving Forward Love at Last Gary's Story Finding Ryan The Advert Number Twenty Five